Survivor: Animation Brawl
by QuizKidDonnieSmith
Summary: COMPLETED. Sixteen cartoon characters compete in the greatest adventure game of all time...Survivor! Over the course of thirty-nine days, they will vote each other out. Who will emerge on top? Story uses characters from Animaniacs, Looney Tunes, Invader Zim, Sonic The Hedgehog, CatDog, Angry Beavers,The Lion King, Courage The Cowardly Dog, Oliver & Company, and 101 Dalmatians
1. You Reap What You Sow, Part I

**Chapter 1: You Reap What You Sow, Part I**

* * *

_Author's Note: So basically, I'm combining my two biggest obsessions: the reality show Survivor and animation. Woot Woot. Sixteen cartoons, thirty-nine days...one by one they'll vote each other out. Who will be the Sole Survivor?_

_Standard disclaimer stuff, yada yada...I don't own these people. I tried to specifically cast characters who I thought were interesting psychologically, and who therefore would have made interesting Survivor contestants. There's also a few characters I just genuinely love, and I'd probably kick myself if I couldn't include them._

_Anyway, enjoy!_

* * *

**CONTESTANT LIST**

* * *

**Nemo Tribe**

* * *

**Yakko.**.. Burbank, California... _Animaniacs_

**Cadpig**... Dearly Farm, Minnesota..._ 101 Dalmatians: The Series_

**Dodger**... Brooklyn, New York..._ Oliver &amp; Company_

**Courage**... Nowhere, Kansas... _Courage The Cowardly Dog_

**Cat**... Nearburg, Pensylvania..._ CatDog_

**Sonic**... Knothole Village, Mobius... _Sonic The Hedgehog_

**Zim.**.. Irk, Andromeda Galaxy... _Invader Zim_

**Marvin**... Mars, Milky Way Galaxy... _Looney Tunes_

* * *

**Gertie Tribe**

* * *

**Wakko**... Burbank, California..._ Animaniacs_

**Dot**... Burbank, California... _Animaniacs_

**Dog.**.. Nearburg, Pensylvania.._. CatDog_

**Rita.**.. Burbank, California... _Animaniacs_

**Norbert**...Wayouttatown, Oregon... _Angry Beavers_

**Katz**... Nowhere, Kansas... _Courage The Cowardly Dog_

**Daggett**...Wayouttatown, Oregon... _Angry Beavers_

**Timon**...Djimbe Wildlife Preserve, Kenya..._Lion King_

* * *

**The Rules Of Survivor**

* * *

Contestants will be divided into two tribes. They will live at separate camps and be given limited resources to survive. Every round, there will be a physical or mental challenge, calling into account strength, endurance, and teamwork. If a tribe loses a challenge, they will be sent to Tribal Council, where they will** vote a teammate out of the game.** This will continue until six contestants are eliminated. Then, with ten contestants left, the two tribes will **merge into one.** Rather than competing for tribal immunity, they will compete for **individual immunity.**

However, throughout the game, contestants will be given clues to hidden immunity idols. If a contestant plays an idol at Tribal Council, **all votes cast against them will be cancelled out -** and the contestant with the **second highest amount of votes** will go home.

If a tribe ties a vote to send someone home, there will be a revote. Only the tied contestants will be eligible to be sent home and **they will not be able to vote**.

If there is still a tie in this case, the contestants will each draw a rock from a bag. Whoever draws the purple rock will be sent home immediately.

Following the merge of the two tribes, **every contestant voted out will join the Jury.**

At the end, when two contestants remain,** the Jury will vote** and decide who is deserving of a million dollars.

* * *

**Let the games begin...**

* * *

_(A shot of Death Valley, California...a wasteland of cliffs and sand, strips of road winding between the hills…)_

HOST (O.S)

In the middle of this California desert, sixteen people are about to begin the adventure of a lifetime. We're in Death Valley, California...regarded as one of the least hospitable places in America. The wildlife is poisonous. Vegetation scarce...and the temperature has broken the record for the hottest ever recorded.

_(A shot of two trucks, a BLACK one and a WHITE one, coming down the road. Eight CONTESTANTS are seated in the back of each truck)_

HOST (O.S)

It is here that sixteen cartoons, from all across the animated universe, will begin the adventure of a lifetime. They've already been separated into two tribes…named after two of the oldest cartoons in existence. First, the _Nemo_ tribe...

_(A shot of CAT, an orange CAT relaxing in the back of the WHITE TRUCK)_

HOST (O.S)

Cat...from _CatDog..._

_(Cut to CAT in a confessional. He points to a large scar across his abdomen. His legs looked like they've been surgically attached)_

CAT

Ahem. Greeting. Salutations. I'm _Cat._ Renaissance man if you will. My brother Dog and I were conjoined. Connected. Only recently, we've been surgically separated. When the news outlets grabbed hold of the story... the right people got involved, yada, yada, and here I am on television. I mean, here we are.

_ (He clears his throat, smiling)_

Dog's here too…

_(Cut to COURAGE, a small purple dog. He forces smiles at everyone else in the TRUCK. Nobody acknowledges him._

HOST (O.S)

Courage...from _Courage the Cowardly Dog..._

_(Cut to SONIC in the truck. A blue HEDGEHOG wearing red running shoes. He's tapping his feet, antsy, ready to get started)_

HOST (O.S)

Sonic...from _Sonic The Hedgehog_

_(Cut to DODGER in the truck. He catches Courage's eye and smiles back at him - the only one who does so)_

HOST (O.S)

Dodger...from _Oliver and Company..._

_(Cut to DODGER smiling in a confessional. An intimidating Jack Russell terrier wearing a RED BANDANNA around his neck)_

DODGER

Name's Dodger. coolest quadruped east of Central Park. Got some warrants on my tail back in the city, all right, so I figured I'd get out of the smog for a while. Let's show these guys how we settle things in New York...

_(Cut to CADPIG in the truck, worried, annoyed with the others, looking like she's made a mistake. A small female Dalmatian with flappy ears and a big mouth)_

HOST (O.S)

Cadpig...from _101 Dalmatians: The Animated Series._

_(Cut to YAKKO in the truck. An old-fashioned inkblot cartoon character wearing khaki slacks and a belt. He waves to someone…two people…in the BLACK TRUCK behind them)_

HOST (O.S)

Yakko..._Animaniacs…_

_(Cut to MARVIN in the truck. An ant-like alien creature with a green war helmet. He's composed, hands folded, going through some kind of breathing exercise)_

HOST (O.S)

Marvin..._from Looney Tunes..._

_(Cut to ZIM smiling at the others...obviously scheming, twiddling his fingers together. A green alien with beady, red eyes)_

HOST (O.S)

And Zim..._Invader Zim…_

_(Cut to the BLACK TRUCK behind the white truck. Eight more CONTESTANTS are seated here. DOT sits in the front staring out at the desert. An inkblot character similar to YAKKO in a pink skirt with a flower in her hair)_

HOST (O.S)

The _Gertie_ tribe...consisting of Dot...Yakko's brother...from _Animaniacs..._

_(Cut to WAKKO sitting beside her. He sticks his head out of the TRUCK like a dog in a car window, his tongue flapping in the air. He is an inkblot character like his siblings wearing a red baseball cap)_

HOST (O.S)

Wakko...their other sibling..._Animaniacs..._

_(Cut to Wakko in a confessional. He stares questionably at the camera)_

CAMERAMAN (O.S)

Okay, and go...

_(Wakko just stares)_

Go. Now.

_(Still, Wakko stares)_

Okay - when I said go, you were supposed to say something-

WAKKO

SOMETHING! SOMETHING! How was that?

CAMERAMAN (O.S)

…Take _twenty-five..._

_(Cut to DAGGETT in the truck. A brown beaver with sharp teeth. He is grinning at DOT. He hands her a WATER BOTTLE which she accepts. She pats him on the shoulder. DAGGETT looks proud of himself)_

HOST

Daggett...from _Angry Beavers…_

_(Cut to NORBERT, having watched what Daggett's just done...worried, embarrassed. A handsome blonde beaver with fanned, spiked hair and a purple nose)_

HOST (O.S)

Norbert...his brother...from _Angry Beavers..._

_(Cut to DOG sitting beside NORBERT. He's mimicking WAKKO, also sticking his head out of the truck. In DOG's case however, he's actually...well, a dog)_

HOST (O.S)

Dog...from _CatDog…_

_(Cut to KATZ in the truck, surveying all of the others. A tall, red, sinister looking cat. His face is blank and unreadable)_

HOST (O.S)

Katz...from Courage the Cowardly Dog...

_(Cut to KATZ in a confessional. He's sharpening a stick with a knife)_

KATZ

Hunt them down, have some fun with it. When this is all said and done, spend the money on a brand new _yacht..._

_(Cut to RITA in the truck. A small, grey cat. She looks incredibly bored)_

HOST (O.S)

Rita...from_ Animaniacs..._

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional. She yawns, fanning herself from the heat)_

RITA

I'm an alley cat from Burbank, California. I sing at night clubs. Um, I've been homeless since I was a kitten...and...I'm in this show so I can collect as much money as possible. It's not about winning. I'm here for the paycheck. And then I'm going to spend the money on booze...and cat nip...

_(Cut to TIMON in the truck. A small, skinny meerkat with a red patch of hair. He's gotten into a staring contest with KATZ. TIMON cracks his knuckles, trying to be threatening. He hurts his hand and cries out in pain. KATZ just stares at him)_

HOST (O.S)

…and Timon...from _The Lion King._

_(Cut to the HOST standing at the top of a sandy crater)_

HOST (O.S)

They come from different walks of life...

_(Cut to SONIC in a confessional)_

SONIC

I'd never go out of my way to lie...to hurt anyone...

_(Cut to NORBERT chilling out in a confessional)_

NORBERT

Hey, take a look for a second…the successful people in your life. How'd they do it? Most of them got out of their parents' dams and made something of themselves by _stepping_ on somebody else...

_(Cut back to the HOST standing on top of the crater)_

HOST (O.S)

One by one, they will vote each other out. In the end, only _one_ will remain to claim the million dollar prize. Sixteen people. Thirty-nine days...ONE SURVIVOR!

* * *

_(The camera zooms out via HELICOPTER, capturing the whole expanse of Death Valley)_

_(The BLACK and WHITE TRUCKS pull into a clearing. The CONTESTANTS get out and walk over to their respective mats – one BLACK, one WHITE. The HOST is already there waiting)_

HOST (O.S)

Welcome to Survivor: Animation Brawl...

_(EVERYONE claps, applauding, ready to start…)_

You've already been divided into two tribes: Nemo in white, Gertie in black. Now, looking around at your tribe-mates what would you say—

DOG

_(Seeing something)_

SQUIRREL!

CAT

That"s an armadillo, Dog—

DOG

EE-YUP! CHASE! CHASE!

CAT

STOP! STOP! I COMMAND YOU! DON'T—

_(DOG takes off, running into the DESERT, gone in a matter of seconds. Everyone stares, lost for words)_

_(Cut to CAT in a confessional. He points to the scar on his stomach again)_

CAT

He…ruins..everything!

_(Cut to DOG in a confessional)_

DOG

What? Oh, so I chased the squirrely thing because it ran really, really fast and I couldn't help it and - wait, wait, I have to concentrate more, because Cat and I are going to win...and...wait, wait, did you just hear a _squirrel,_ I could've sworn I just heard a squirrel-

_(He pauses, glancing around, inquisitive)_

It's quiet. _Too_ quiet...

_(Cut back to the starting point. DOG has been brought back by the PRODUCTION CREW)_

HOST

Well…now that we're all accounted for, let's look at some first impressions Guy with the helmet?

MARVIN

_Marvin. _Um, greetings. Salutations.

HOST

Looking around, any faces here worry you?

MARVIN

Well, it's just the beginning...no need to tussle…

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

My name is Marvin. I'm a Martian. My hobbies are...moon rocks, French opera, and avoiding people. In the past, I've struggled with anger management...but I'm in a much better place now. Although...you're putting that camera dangerously close to my_ face..._

_(Cut back to the starting point)_

HOST

And on the other tribe, how about you...girl with the flower?

DOT

_Dot..._

HOST

All right, Dottie..

DOT

(Laughing)

No, no ... call me Dottie...and you _die..._

HOST

Any suspicious characters?

DOT

What? Are you kidding? We're all going to be best friends...

_(Cut to DOT in a confessional)_

DOT

I'm Dot. Some may call me a radiant sunflower. Or clinically insane. Most of the latter are _women..._and jealous. I live with my brothers at the Warner Brothers Lot in Burbank. We star in our own cartoons. Normally, we'd just mess with everyone until they give us what we want, but we signed a contract...saying we'd play by the rules. So...we're going to be subtle. Like ninjas...

_(She makes a JUDO CHOP with her hands and smiles)_

Then with the million dollars…we're going to buy a slushy machine and have a laugh about this...

_(Cut back to the starting point)_

HOST

And over on the other tribe, you're her brother?

YAKKO

Yakko Warner! Pleased to meet ya!

HOST

How does it feel to be on the other tribe, alienated from your siblings?

YAKKO

I'm all sad. We're parting ways. My face is sagging. Like a Botox or something. But y'know...I'm not concerned for their well-being. They'll manage...

HOST

For your siblings...?

YAKKO

Oh, wait, sorry - I meant I was concerned for the rest of you.

_(Cut to DOT in a confessional)_

DOT

Hey Yakko, if we win the money, maybe the first thing we buy is a new mouth...yknow, one that doesn't _open?_

_ (Cut back to the starting point)_

HOST

As you'll see now, we've placed three different families – seven contestants in total – against _nine others_ who are playing alone. We'll see how this changes dynamics. Now that you're all acquainted, you're going to make a little decision here. With very little information...you"re going to pick the weakest member of your tribe...

_(Cut to COURAGE in a confessional)_

COURAGE

Hi, I'm Courage. I know I'm small...but I like to think I make up for it in like...personality? So…I was very much hoping I wouldn't be chosen...

_(Cut back to starting point)_

HOST

Nemo, who do you choose?

CAT

The little white puppy.

HOST

Name?

CADPIG

_Cadpig…_

HOST

One vote Cadpig.

SONIC

Yeah, the puppy...Cadpig. Sorry, dude.

YAKKO

Purple dog...

COURAGE

Courage…

HOST

One vote Courage.

DODGER

Courage. Sorry buddy…

ZIM

Ehhh, Dalmatian doggy thing...

MARVIN

The male dog...

HOST

We're _tied._ Three and three...three for Cadpig, three for Courage...

_(COURAGE has been surveying CADPIG worriedly. Suddenly, he steps forward)_

HOST

You're volunteering, Courage?

COURAGE

_Yes._ Uh, I voted for Cadpig, but I figured y"know, if someone's got to go, I'll put my foot forward. I'll…I'll take the consequences.

(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)

MARVIN

"Courage?" More like "Stupidity"

_(Cut back to the starting point)_

HOST

...Courage...volunteering to be the weakest...

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

_(Talking very, very fast)_

Hi. I'm Cadpig. I'm a philanthropist. And a psychologist. And a something-a-gist. I forget the other things I am. Um, okay, let's see: I stand against wrong-doing and evil and stuff. But I _have_ been told my biggest obstacle is my mouth, okay, and my brother Lucky, he kept telling me – "Cadpig, if you go out there to play, you are _dog chow kid, blah, blah_..." But I fight corruption. I stand against evil. What they did to Courage just now? Okay. Uncalled for. Juvenile. Despicable. Ya'll shouldn't have messed. I'm making a hit-list...

_(Cut back to the starting point. COURAGE crosses over to the HOST's mat and stands beside him. CADPIG watches him sadly. The HOST turns to the GERTIES)_

HOST

Gertie, I need a name...

RITA

The armadillo hunter...

_(DOG growls at RITA. She just smiles at him and winks)_

KATZ

Young beaver with the brown fur...

HOST

What's your name?

DAGGETT

Daggett…

_(Cut to DAGGETT in a confessional)_

DAGGETT

See these _eyes?_ You stupid cat? I'm vigilant. I'm an interloper. I'm hiding in trees. You're going to rue the day you crossed Daggett Beaver! And my brother Norbert's out here too, so you best watch out! We'll be at you like...like breakfast cereal! Spootheads!

_(Cut back to the starting point)_

HOST

Next?

_(WAKKO opens his mouth to speak. DOT grins and steps forward before he can speak)_

DOT

Dog. Both of us. Wakko too…

WAKKO

(Trying to interject)

Um—

NORBERT

Got to go with _Dog..._

DAGGETT

_(Waving his hands)_

Dog! Dog! Woo! Seeya!

NORBERT

_ (Covering DAGGETT's mouth)_

Cool as a cantelope, bro-_thaiiir_ of mine. Calm and collected…

_(Cut to NORBERT in a confessional) _

NORBERT

I'm Norbert Foster Beaver. I came out with my doofusy brochacho Daggett. For the lack of a better word, Daggy-Waggy's annoying. But, y'know, I'm-a not going to let_ that_ hold me back. If I have to cut the chord, Mom and Dad will forgive me. Thirty-nine days, one million doller-inos in my _pocqueta. _Come on. Think of all the hair gel I could buy...

HOST

That's more than enough. Dog, take your spot over here...

_(DOG crosses to the mat to join COURAGE, staring at the ground. He looks very upset)_

DOG

_(Looking back)_

Um…Cat...I—

CAT

(Calling out)

No, no, it's fine, Dog. It's fine! I'm...I'm very proud of you for taking this so well. And I'll be even prouder, if we can get to the end, and you can help me get that fancy new jazz lounge in our house...

DOG

(Excited again)

Okay, sounds great! What do I have to do?

HOST

All right...Courage and Dog have both been chosen to make a game-changing decision on behalf of your tribe. They will be flown to camp via helicopter. There, they will be offered a choice that could change the whole outcome of this game.

_(The HOST throws the tribes their maps)_

Here's your maps. Goodbye and good luck...

_(The TRIBES set off through the desert)_

_(Cut to ZIM in a confessional)_

ZIM

Hello, Survivor. I am...human-Zim. This is my "human-confessional" for your human-television show. You may notice that my skin is a pasty form of green. It's the uranium. In the drinking water. Where I live. And you may also notice that I'm very small, but hear me out. I am a sharp, calculating individual, and when I become unhinged, there's no stopping me from getting what I want. I will waste no time...in ensuring the complete and utter domination of my tribe.

_ (ZIM laughs. starts to cough raggedly)_

In a very...human fashion...

* * *

_(Cut to the NEMO camp. The helicopter touches down. COURAGE hops out. He crosses over to a table. There are two pots there – one marked "ADVANTAGE" and one more "CLUE." Courage starts to sniffle)_

COURAGE

Why are you crying? Geez Courage, pull it together. It's not like this is going to hurt you. It's not like they're plotting against you. It's not like...there's a massive drought at the farm where you live and all the crops are going to turn to dust if you don't bring home money. No, it's not like at all. Everything's just peachy.

_(COURAGE inspects a note on the table)_

All right, let's see..."There is a hidden immunity idol hidden at your camp. Choose between an idol clue...or an extra bag of beans for your tribe." Sorry Nemo-people, but you reap what you sew. I"m going for the Idol...

* * *

_(Cut back to the NEMO camp. COURAGE is tending the fire as the OTHERS finally arrive)_

_(Cut to CAT in a confessional)_

CAT

So when we were walking to camp, we all had our suspicions that Courage might have the Idol...and when we get there, sure enough, he's just standing there playing with sticks._ Puh-lease. _All dogs are the same. Slobbering, drooling mutts. Us felines can see right through them. And I mean, it doesn't hurt that I have a master's in library science either...

_(Cut back to the camp)_

COURAGE

Hey guys, how was your walk?

CADPIG

Long.

MARVIN

Hot.

_(Awkward pause)_

COURAGE

Yeah, I got the fire going...

ZIM

_(Stepping forward)_

What _choice_ did you have to make, dog-creature? Answer Zim!

COURAGE

So, um.. I did get an Idol clue, um, admittedly, I looked...it's right here...but I did not find it...so I'm not sure, like, judicially, what's the best way to handle this...um...

DODGER

_(Putting his arm around COURAGE)_

Yeah, you know what...it's the first day, guys. It's been a long hike, guys. Let's cut the commotion. Worry about it later. Sound good? All right guys, suns coming down. We've got some work to do, You want to say we, uh, split up the work? Half do the shelter, half do the fire?

YAKKO

Yeah, yeah, sounds good. Speaking of which, I've got a great idea for a shelter, all right? Let's use the wood, slant it on the side, collect the rainwater in a bucket? That way, we can get this crazy waterslide thing going and-

DODGER

Excuse me, I already had an idea.

_(YAKKO stares at DODGER, taken aback. Nobody's ever questioned his authority)_

YAKKO

Well, eh, carry on, why don't you...

SONIC

(To CADPIG)

Hey, uh, being like small - and like, a girl - do you want to switch? I could work in the shelter.

CADPIG

_(Through gritted teeth)_

Be my guest...

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

Every day, my hope in the human race dissipates...like a shriveling, tiny slug...

* * *

_(Cut to the outskirts of the camp. COURAGE is collecting firewood. CADPIG approaches him)_

CADPIG

Are you all right?

COURAGE

_(Rubbing his eyes)_

Yeah, sorry, I just needed to be alone for a bit. But it's fine. I'm going to carry logs. A million, bajillion logs. And everyone's going to think I'm strong and stuff. I'm sorry, can I help you?

CADPIG

_(Nudging COURAGE)_

Poke-poke-

COURAGE

Um, what?

CADPIG

Beep! Beep! Lie detected! Lie detected! You weren't okay with sacrificing yourself!

COURAGE

_Yes._

CADPIG

No you weren't! You did it for me! And really, that was one of the most sincere, genuine things. Like, ever, man. Do you have a best friend? What's your birth stone? Do you want to run for office together?

COURAGE

Excuse me, it was strategic. My decision was strategic. I...I knew exactly what I was doing.

CADPIG

Psssh. Yeah, right! Come on, let's look for firewood!

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

See, it was important to talk to Courage. It was strategic. But also genuine. Like, not only because I feel _bad_ for him, but because I see potential in him. Or like, potential to have potential. I mean potentially, I think Courage has _a lot_ of potential. He could be my sidekick. We can, like, fight wrongdoing and stuff. Like a good-cop, bad-cop kind of thing.

_(Cut to COURAGE in a confessional)_

COURAGE

Cadpig scares me. I mean, girls scare me. In general. Like, I'm more disturbed by her than I am of being voted out...

_(He smiles a little, blushing)_

But right now, she likes me...

* * *

_(Cut to the camp. MARVIN, SONIC, and CAT are working on the SHELTER. CAT is struggling to drag heavy BRANCHES)_

SONIC

Cat, do you want to take a break?

CAT

No...

SONIC

Well, you're sweating so—

CAT

I am perfectly capable of knowing when I've had enough! Thank you very much! I went to graduate school!

_(CAT tosses the BRANCHES to the ground. He crosses back into the woods. MARVIN and SONIC watch)_

SONIC

He's going to kill himself...

MARVIN

(Tossing a BRANCH on the ground)

No he's not. He went to graduate school...

* * *

_(Cut to a little while later. Everyone is hard at work, building the SHELTER. YAKKO is tinkering with WOODEN PLANKS on the side, trying to angle them into a BUCKET. Nobody is paying attention. They're all fawning over DODGER, listening to a story. He's hard at work on the other side, hammering WOOD into the ground. SONIC, CADPIG, and COURAGE are all gathered around him)_

_DODGER_

Yeah, y'know, The Big Apple's not that bad. Besides the crime, and the tourists dropping beer cans, and the bodega cats hissing at you, but y'know, it's my home. And let me tell you about this other time: this little puppy falls into the subway tracks all right? Totally stuck down there, train right on schedule. So Old Dodge jumps down, scoops him up-

YAKKO

(Calling out)

Hey guys, get over here! I'm building a waterslide!

SONIC

Yeah, yeah, be quiet, Yakko! Dodger's telling us a story!

_(Cut to YAKKO in a confessional)_

YAKKO

You know what's sketching me out here? _Dodger._ I don't know. I mean...he's not engaging, he's not funny or anything...but people are lining up to him. He's like the unofficial leader here or something. Luckily, I'm sensing some secrets here. That look in his eyes. The mangy fur. I'm thinking...I got something I can use against the guy...

* * *

_(Cut to the outskirts of the camp. DODGER and YAKKO walk side-by-side. They have found a well. YAKKO carries a bucket and rigs it to the well's rope. He tosses it in)_

YAKKO

Y'know, I really doubt you saved that puppy in the subway.

DODGER

Doesn't matter. People believe anything out here. You could be lying. I could be lying. You may not even know my name. But enough of that kid, let's get some water. I'm not going to delight you with my charming presence. Go on, use the wishing well. Make a wish...

YAKKO

I wish for an earthquake. To wipe everyone out. And give me a million dollars to rub in your face. How's that?

DODGER

Yeah, with those scrawny arms. You think you'd survive an earthquake?

YAKKO

I mean, I don't know. Do earthquakes happen in this part of the state? I'm just...a privileged actor from California. I'm not, y'know, from the other side of the tracks...

DODGER

(A little worried)

What side of the tracks?

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

All right, yeah, I live in the streets. But I'm not going to let anyone know that I'm dirt poor and living in a boathouse in Brooklyn. If they find out, nobody's going to let me get to the end to campaign for a million dollars. But I know Yakko's trying to pull it out of me. I'll humor him. This canine's got some tricks under his collar..

_(Cut back to the well. YAKKO pulls the bucket out of the water. DODGER smirks at him. They start to walk away together with the BUCKET)_

YAKKO

I mean...for a dog from New York, you know _a lot_ about surviving in the middle of nowhere. It makes me question what resources you had...

DODGER

What do you mean?

YAKKO

Well, you're basically building our shelter. I don't know. You'd think your owners would keep you a little more polished. Figured the furthest you'd been outside is sticking your head out a car window. Right? Where'd they take you on vacation? Disney World?

DODGER

We went camping a lot.

YAKKO

Where?

DODGER

Lake Placid.

YAKKO

Where's that?

DODGER

New York.

YAKKO

Next to…?

DODGER

You don't believe me.

YAKKO

_(Laughing)_

No, I don't. But it's like you said. You don't know what's true out here. Come on, Dodgey. Let's go back to camp...

* * *

_(Cut to a shot of SONIC and CAT laughing as they try to start a fire. MARVIN watches them from the side, quietly fuming. He squeezes his STRSS BALL)_

MARVIN

It's been several hours...and I find them all..._likable. _As my therapist would say. There's a growing chance that...friendships, of sorts, will form. In some capacity. But they must remain that way. They must remain...likable. I can't let my anger get the better of me over minor infractions. I've turned to squeezing this stress ball I brought to relieve myself...but the squeaking is ungodly annoying...so to pass the time, I've started to think strategically. I'm taking my pick of the idiots...

_(Cut to ZIM in the woods, collecting firewood. MARVIN approaches him)_

MARVIN

_You._..come...

ZIM

Of course...alien-companion. Here comes human-Zim...

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

I've pinpointed Zim as an Irken...a race in the Andromeda Galaxy. They fought my planet during the Seventh Galactic War. Irkens are aggressive...and stupid, which makes him the perfect ally... ...

(Cut to MARVIN and ZIM in the woods. ZIM is excited)

ZIM

So, what Earthling concerns can I draw from you?

MARVIN

Shut up, Zim. I know you're an alien. And I won't have it. This can go one of two ways. You're willing to work with me, out of devotion to our species, or I melt you like a molecular slug on Neptune with a ray gun. What do you choose?

ZIM

Well, my faith isn't won easily. I happen to be a highly-trained invader from the Planet Irk. Now, explain to me why I - in my highest caliber - should devote my attention to protecting somebody like you?

MARVIN

In the Seventh Great Galactic War, I fought alongside your people...

_(ZIM just stares at him blankly)_

The war...? We fought...? Against you...?

ZIM

I don't know my planet's history-

MARVIN

Why?

ZIM

Because...they expelled me from the Training Academy.

MARVIN

Why?

ZIM

_(Ignoring him)_

All right Marvin...bulbous ant-like creature. You seem to be proposing a camaraderie of sorts. I'll have you know, my loyalty doesn't go easy. Irkens are _perceptive_ creatures-

MARVIN

_(Muttering)_

And idiots...

ZIM

At our training academy, they made us have staring contests with each other. I can look at you all day...and with the slightest flinch...I can detect every move you're plotting. Does that give you any second thoughts?

_(MARVIN reaches out and jabs ZIM in the stomach. ZIM yelps, jumping back)_

ZIM

Why did you do that?

MARVIN

Why didn't you see it coming?

ZIM

My spleen...

MARVIN

My brothers and forefathers died in combat because of your race! The least you can do...is pledge me your loyalty...

_(He holds out a HAND)_

I'm asking for your allegiance...you...you...valuable, considerate member of my tribe...

_(ZIM stares at his HAND. He glares at MARVIN, clearly upset. He clicks his tongue. Then he glares at him)_

ZIM

Well, kneel before me...

MARVIN

What?

ZIM

If you pledge your loyalty, I need to see you kneel. Bow before me...

MARVIN

_(Muttering)_

Irken moron...

ZIM

What was that?

_(Reluctantly, MARVIN kneels down in front of him)_

MARVIN

There. I'm down...

ZIM

Yes...?

MARVIN

I...I pledge my loyalty to the great and powerful.._.Zim.._.

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

I'm going to have a headache for thirty-nine days...


	2. You Reap What You Sow, Part II

_(Cut to the GERTIE camp. DOG, apparently, has discarded the IDOL CLUE. The SHELTER lays around in a tattered mess. Planks are sticking out at weird angles)_

DOG

SHELTER'S UP! SHELTER'S UP! I DID IT! I DID IT!

_(Cut to NORBERT in a confessional)_

NORBERT

When we got there, we were surprised to see that Dog had actually…done something. I mean, define something. But we worked with it. I think I _under-eest-to-mooted_ the savviness of this tribe. We've got some good heads here. And some cute girls too…

* * *

_(Cut to the GERTIE TRIBE working busily on their SHELTER. The only person who doesn't participate is RITA. She sits on the side, sunbathing on some rocks)_

DOT

Sitting out, Rita? No heavy lifting? That's a shame.

RITA

_Pass..._

_(Cut to TIMON in a confessional)_

TIMON

Hey, how y'doing I'm Timon. I'm a meerkat. From Africa. So, y'know, I'm not used to these people getting' all like, touchy-feely, getting in my territory. But I have people skills. Strong people skills. People like me. Always. I mean, what's Rita doing? Sitting around, whining about why she doesn't want to be here. Go home already…

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

Really, I don't care either way. I might win, I might lose. I'm _sunbathing_ for money. It doesn't matter to me. This is a vacation.

_(Cut back to the GERTIES working on the shelter. DAGGETT is cutting up branches for firewood. He glares at RITA sunbathing beside him)_

DAGGETT

Nice day, isn't it Rita?

RITA

Yeah, keep lifting though kid. You've got wood to cut...

DAGGETT

Excuse me Ma'am, would you like to try?

RITA

No, no. This is a task worthy of a Gladiator.

DAGGETT

_(Handing her a stick)_

You cut.

RITA

What?

DAGGETT

Yeah, _you_ see how easy it is. Go on. I'm putting you on the spot. Everyone, look, look, Rita's going to do something…

RITA

I do_ see_ how easy it is.

DAGGETT

Okay.

RITA

It's so simple that I'd prefer not to do it. So stop trying to impress your stupid brother…

_(DAGGETT glances over at NORBERT. Sheepish, NORBERT looks away, pretending not to be watching. Annoyed, DAGGETT raises his arms to the whole camp)_

DAGGETT

Excuse me everyone -_ excuse me -_ Queen Rita, goddess of the California desert, is too weak to break sticks, so let's all to chip in for her, okay? Let's help her out. It's fine, kitty cat. Don't worry. It's _allllllllll_ good here...

_(RITA notices that one of the BRANCHES is sticking out at the bottom of DAGGETT's wood pile. She pulls on it. The whole pile collapses)_

DAGGETT

DAG NABBIT!

* * *

_(Cut to NORBERT and DOT crouched by the campfire. NORBERT feeds leaves into the fire)_

DOT

...So...Daggett's your brother?

NORBERT

Yeah. Unfortunately. I mean...yes...

DOT

He's cute. Y'know, if this sounds, like, _fake,_ forgive me...

NORBERT

You want to go for a walk...?

DOT

Is that code for, "I don't hate you as much as everyone else and I want to work with you?"

NORBERT

If you need a code to pick that up, I'm surprised you found your way to camp. Lead the way, _petite fille.._

_(DOT winks and struts into the woods. NORBERT follows her)_

_(Cut to NORBERT in a confessional)_

NORBERT

Dot thinks she's _much_ more convincing than she actually is. Much, much more _convence-eeeng._ So...I decided to turn the tables, flip the hair, put on the charm…

_(Cut to NORBERT and DOT walking on the outskirts of camp)_

NORBERT

So...when you said we, "had something...?"

DOT

_Yes._

NORBERT

You want to define that or...?

DOT

Okay, well, I'm either the needy girl who needs the stoic, cute blonde guy for protection, or I'm planning to walk you over a cliff...

_(DOT leans in, putting her hand on his SHOULDER)_

DOT

Okay_ Norbyyyy-_

NORBERT

_(Amused)_

_Yesssss...?_

DOT

You have a brother here. So do _I._ Add someone else and we're_ five. _We can take over the tribe, like, super imperialistic, battle-royale style.

NORBERT

Your math's up to par...

DOT

So... whadya say?

NORBERT

It's common sense. I mean, you didn't have to walk away from camp to say this to me…

DOT

I know. Because we obviously-

DOT &amp; NORBERT

Have something…

_(They burst out laughing)_

DOT

This is like the cutest alliance ever, oh my gosh. Here, come on Norby, let's grab firewood. We're in survival mode..

_(DOT starts jogging through the sand. NORBERT follows her, keeping up at her side)_

DOT

Hey, enlighten me: if we ran out of food, who on this tribe would you eat first?

NORBERT

You're pretty random.

DOT

Day one, hon. Get used to it...

_(Cut to DOT in a confessional)_

DOT

Norbert Foster Beaver, you've fallen victim to my feminine charm…

_(Cut to NORBERT in a confessional)_

NORBERT

Dot Warner, you have become my human shield...

* * *

_(Cut to several hours later. WAKKO and DOG stand by the campfire having a swordfight with stick. WAKKO does a cool trick. He flips his stick in the air, catching it behind his back)_

WAKKO

EN GARDE!

DOG

Come on, come on, show me what you're made of!

_(KATZ watches from the side, sharpening a STICK. He looks very unamused)_

_(Cut to KATZ in a confessional)_

KATZ

It's like watching two monkeys...and leave it to me to train them...

_(Cut to KATZ walking up to WAKKO and DOG. He picks up his own stick from the ground and gestures with it)_

KATZ

You know...there's a much easier way to go about this.? If you really want to take someone down, you go for their legs first. So...

_(At the word, "go for their legs" DOG charges at KATZ's legs. He knocks him over. KATZ falls flat on his back, hitting his head on a ROCK)_

WAKKO

Dog…he was going to _show_ us...

_(DOG helps KATZ to his feet. He looks on in concern)_

DOG

Sorry, Katz...

KATZ

_(Struggling to stay composed)_

No matter. I'm going to..._rest_ on the cliffs...

WAKKO

But wait, you never showed us how you—

KATZ

"Knees." Go for_ the knees._

WAKKO

_(Grinning)_

Oh, so we showed you!

_(KATZ stares at WAKKO in disbelief)_

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional. He looks around the DESERT, bored, smiling at nothing. The camera zooms in, waiting for some kind of response)_

CAMERAMAN

Okay, so it's been fifteen minutes. If you're not going to _say_ anything, Wakko-

WAKKO

No, it's coming. It's _deffffffffinitely_ coming. I'm taking it all in...

_(He takes a deep breath)_

_...Okay._

CAMERAMAN (O.S)

Yes?

_(WAKKO gets up. He stretches. He does a weird tap dance move for the camera. He stares, grinning, not saying anything)_

WAKKO

_(Yawning)_

Nah, I'm thinking too much. I'll see you later.

_(WAKKO gets up and walks away, swinging his arms. The CAMERAMAN sighs)_

* * *

_(Cut to the CENTER of CAMP. Everyone is working hard on the SHELTER. NORBERT hammers POSTS in with a ROCK, rigging the structure to the ground with ROPE. KATZ and WAKKO are sitting nearby, helping him out. The camera shifts to TIMON, standing awkwardly off on the side. He's giving them instructions)_

_TIMON_

Okay, yeah, so, eh, shift the levery-ropey thing to the side—

_NORBERT_

_(Annoyed)_

Uh-huh, yeah, I'm doing that—

_TIMON_

There we go! No worries, buddy! You'll have this up in no time!

_(TIMON glances down on the ground, rummaging under a LOG. He pulls out a BEETLE and examines it. Pops it into his mouth, swallows. DOT, standing on the side, turns and notices. She looks appalled)_

DOT

Did you just, like—

TIMON

Yeah, grade-A beetles. Slick. Slimy. Good for the indigestion. Do you want one?

DOT

How can you eat those?

TIMON

Hey, it's fine. Don't be trashin' my species. It's what we do. We can stomach these things no problem—

DOT

Wait, so what you're saying is that while we're all going to be starving to death out here – limited to rationed portions of rice – you're going to be able to eat things that the rest of us couldn't digest if we tried?

TIMON

(After a moment)

I mean, when you put it like that, it sounds unfair...

_(Cut to DOT in a confessional)_

DOT

Timon just sits around camp, lounging around, barking out orders to the boys, doing literally _nothing._ I mean, I'm not some strong, staggering, Hollywood alpha-male, but I'm still lifting things. I'm trying. Timon just sleeps and eats and does nothing...

_(Cut to TIMON in a confessional. He's smiling, blissfully unaware)_

TIMON

Yeah, I think everyone's jivin' with me. I mean, what, like you're surprised? I might live out in the Savannah, but I'm in an enigma, y'know. I'm a people person. Everyone likes me. This game is one small step for mankind, one giant step for a meerkat. And when I win, I'll be rich, and famous, and be on cereal boxes, and everyone's going to like me...

_(Cut back to CAMP. TIMON watches as KATZ sighs and walks away from the group. He heads off into the DESERT, rubbing his head. TIMON frowns and starts following him)_

_(Cut back to TIMON in a confessional)_

TIMON

Yeah, so I noticed Katz – the creepy tall guy with the green eyes – he's like totally _alienating_ himself from the tribe. Why so high-strung, man? This is an adventure. Hakuna matata. So I figured I'd go over, see what's up...

_(Cut to KATZ sitting on a cliff, staring out at the desert. They're far away from CAMP now. The sun sets on a horizon over the DESERT. TIMON walks up beside him)_

TIMON

Ugh long day, buddy. Long, _looooooooong_ day. Come on, lighten up. Show some enthusiasm. People will think you're creepy...

KATZ

Yes...like I haven't heard that before. _Creepy._

TIMON

(Searching for words)

Well hey, don't get down on yourself. I mean, if you're just, like...stoic and British and stuff, like, staring people down all the time, I mean—

_(TIMON goes on talking but KATZ clearly isn't listening. He studies him intently)_

_(Cut to KATZ in a confessional. He strokes his chin)_

KATZ

Time for this feline to work his charm...

_(Cut back to TIMON and KATZ on the cliff)_

KATZ

It's fine. I know the others are talking. Go on, Timon. If I'm not too creepy to be here, just vote me out...

TIMON

Whoa, whoa! Nobody used the "V word". You've got to chill out, all right buddy? You've got to ride this out. Go with the flow. I mean, why do you think you'll be gone first?

KATZ

I just feel it...

TIMON

Well, that's a weird thing to base the first vote on... "I feel it?" You know what I'm feeling here Katz? Be a partner. Lend a hand. Join the mighty meerkat on our path to glory. Whadya say?

_(Cut to KATZ smiling alone in a confessional)_

KATZ

I say...that you just made the biggest mistake of your life...

* * *

_(Cut to the IMMUNITY CHALLENGE the following morning: two identical OBSTACLE COURSES on either side of a hill. The course consists of a large path cluttered with sticks, broken teepee parts, and eroding walls. A large boulder sits at the front of each course, ready to be pushed. One ball is black for GERTIE, the other white for NEMO. The HOST stands on his own MAT, facing the two TRIBES._

_The GERTIE TRIBE enters first. NORBERT leads the way, the others close behind him. WAKKO holds their TRIBE FLAG. They take their place by their BOULDER._

_The NEMO TRIBE comes in shortly after, led boldly by YAKKO. SONIC holds the TRIBE FLAG, raising it for all to see)_

HOST

All right guys, after what I'm sure was a _very_ rough first night, you've made it to your first challenge…_Yakko,_ give me some insight into life at the Nemo tribe?

YAKKO

Y'know, it smells like sweat and tears and broken dreams. Home, sweet home. We're exhausted. It's impossible to sleep at night and I've surrounded by some pretty polarizing characters. Of course, I'm used to it!

_ (He waves to WAKKO and DOT)_

HI GUYS!

WAKKO &amp; DOT

HEY YAKKO!

HOST

Dot, how about on your side? How are you making out?

DOT

Actually, we decided to boycott the show. We're never voting anyone out...and as an alternative, we're all going to wear friendship bracelets from now on. Here, I made one for you...

_(WAKKO rolls up his sleeve, revealing a bunch of FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS that DOT has made out of leaves and twigs)_

I tried to match your eyes...

HOST

Uh, thanks. Sonic, over there on Nemo….what's the _hardest_ part about all of this so far?

SONIC

Hardest part? Oh man, I'm loving this. This isn't hard. This is chill. We're like a family. This is like…this is like a field day for me at this point. I'm psyched.

HOST

Well, then let's get started. All right, here's how this is going to work. On my go, you will work together to push a heavy boulder through a field of obstacles. The first tribe to reach the top of the hill and place their boulder securely in the hole on top…_safe_ at Tribal Council. The losing tribe, however, will be voting the first person out of this game. Sound good? Let's get started….

* * *

_(The NEMOS and GERTIES stand at their SEPARATE mats, each ready to run. The HOST stands on his MAT with his WHISTLE. He blows it. The TRIBES take off._

_(Right away, both tribes struggle to push the BOULDER, which is must heavier than they anticipated. YAKKO pulls the Nemos together, trying to come up with a game plan – or rather, force his own on to everyone else._

_(SONIC and MARVIN butt in, offering different strategies. They start to argue. As this happens, DODGER smiles. He stands back, watching them fight. Quickly and efficiently, he pulls CADPIG, COURAGE, and CAT into a huddle. Without the OTHERS' help, they start to push the BOULDER on their own..)_

_(Meanwhile, the GERTIES waste no time. NORBERT pulls everyone together. Just like that, they break. KATZ, NORBERT, WAKKO, DOT, and DOG push the BOULDER. TIMON, DAGGETT, and RITA lead the way in front, removing the debris at the first obstacle, clearing a path...)_

_(On the NEMO side, Marvin is the first to notice that the BOULDER is gone. He dashes after the OTHERS, screaming at DODGER for leaving them._

_With the NEMO TRIBE displaced and unorganized now, everyone is fighting. COURAGE, struggling for order, starts to clear the debris with CADPIG and SONIC...but it isn't getting them anywhere. The challenge is a total wash-out._

_(The GERTIES have torn down the WOODEN STICKS and are making their way up the hill. DOG charges forward, head pressed into the boulder in front of him. The OTHERS flank him, pushing with all their might..._

_(And at last, they reach the top...where the BLACK BOULDER falls into the hole...)_

HOST

That's it! Gertie wins immunity! Nemo will be going to Tribal Council tonight...where the first person of this game will be voted out...


	3. You Reap What You Sow, Part III

_(The NEMOS return to camp from the challenge. They stand around the fire, staring at the ground. No one speaks)_

YAKKO

Well…I'm normally pretty eloquent guys...but that was awful.

CADPIG

_Thanks, Yakko.._

_YAKKO_

But hey, we can move on. I mean, Dodger's arrogance out there knocked us down a few pegs. Trying to take control. When the rest of us had a perfectly good plan to win. But whatever, we're past it. Ain't that right, Dodgey?

DODGER

_(Exhausted)_

I'm going to go to the pond...and take a long, long bath…

_(DODGER exits. The OTHERS stand around the campfire, not talking)_

ZIM

_(Muttering)_

Good riddance...flea-ridden parasite…

MARVIN

And if you'll all excuse me, I have to go drill my head into a tree...

_(MARVIN stands up, walking in the woods, clenching his fists)_

ZIM

Hey, hey, Marvin – wait up! Human-Zim must speak with you!

_(ZIM exits as well, hurrying out after MARVIN)_

SONIC

Well, I think the important thing is that we tried! Like, I think our enthusiasm is really, really _there _guys, but as a team, we're just kind of…

_(He trails off, not sure what to say)_

Hey. I know. How about some group-building exercises? Did you know I was in the Olympics?

CAT

Sonic, shut up.

CADPIG

Whoa, hey, shut your mouth, man!

CAT

I'm sorry. But in a game where we're all out to cut each other's throats, I don't see the point in bonding right now. I'm lanky. I'm weak. My arms are like sticks. But I'm not going to be voted out first. I can assure you...

SONIC

_(Holding up his hand)_

Whoa, whoa, guys— I just-

CAT

I went to graduate school? Do you hear me? Graduate school!

_(CAT storms off before SONIC can finish speaking)_

CADPIG

_(Yelling out to CAT)_

Oh yeah – and what'd you major in? Being a cantankerous, stuffy cat with...with an inferiority complex who thinks they're better than everyone? That's right, walk it off, kitty-cat. Walk...it...off.

COURAGE

I mean, we probably should strategize though…

CADPIG

_(Tugging his arm)_

We will, my friend! Of course we will! We'll cleanse the evil from this tribe! In a feat to rival Mother Teresa and Mahatma Gandhi…

COURAGE

Um..._kay. But _please don't pull my body that hard-

SONIC

_(Stepping forward)_

Wait, guys? Are you going to talk about the vote? Look, if I can just offer some input: right now, this is a team game. And all this, like...this backstabbing and stuff. There's some strong people on the other tribe. And I think it would make sense if we just voted out the weakest…

CADPIG

What are you saying, vote out one of us?

SONIC

No. I was thinking Cat….

_(YAKKO coughs audibly: "Coward…" SONIC turns to face him, confused. COURAGE and CADPIG don't hear)_

COURAGE

Well, do you want to talk strategy with us?

SONIC

Yeah, yeah...just give me a sec….all right?

_(COURAGE and CADPIG leave. SONIC turns to face YAKKO)_

SONIC

Do you have something to say, Mister Comedian?

YAKKO

No...no...but I'm sure the_ others_ do...or did.

SONIC

Excuse me?

_(Cut to YAKKO in a confessional)_

YAKKO

Sonic wants you to see him as the hero...but...come on, the guy's got an ego the size of the Eiffel Tower. All you have to do is pretend that everyone hates him. Then he'll come crawling right over to my lap…

* * *

_(Cut to YAKKO and SONIC walking in the desert)_

YAKKO

You didn't hear what they're saying about you? ...

SONIC

What are they saying?

YAKKO

You sure? It'll hurt your feelings-

SONIC

I don't get offended.

YAKKO

Are you sure?

SONIC

_(Uneasy)_

Dude, I've won like three Gold Medals. I've saved, like, a million, bajillion people. If I was offended, I would have stopped trying forever ago. I have a super thick skin.

YAKKO

What did they say? Sonic's... "a self-absorbed, contemptuous, gullible...moron?"

SONIC

WHO SAID THAT?

YAKKO

Forgive me Sonic. I'm just stating facts.

SONIC

...They all said _that? _Who, what, where_? _Okay, that's it. I'm angry. And it takes a lot to make me angry.

YAKKO

It was Cadpig. But come on, she's like a five-pound puppy. Brush her off. Anyway, I think there's bigger fish to fry. Why take out Cadpig? Let's take out who she's trying to hide behind…

SONIC

Who?

YAKKO

Dodger...

* * *

_(Cut to DODGER floating on his back in a small pond. He blows water out of his mouth, minding his business. CADPIG and COURAGE approach from the side)_

COURAGE

You take pretty long baths—

CADPIG

_(Blurting it out)_

_Dodger,_ if you don't talk to us right now, you're probably getting voted out tonight. Okay? So dry off, please, we need an attack plan—

DODGER

_(Getting out of the water)_

I heard ya, I heard ya. So what's the sitch, guys? ...

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

I need time alone...y'know, so I don't drive my head into the wall, but I know where I stand...and better yet, I know where Cadpig and Courage do. The kids need me. Two dogs to another. So I'm going to hear them out…

_(Cut back to CADPIG and COURAGE standing beside DODGER outside the pond)_

CADPIG

So Sonic was talking about voting out Cat, but at this point, we're thinking it might be better to get rid of Marvin. Because he's, like, diabolical and sinister and stuff. And our goal is to make our tribe a utopian society.

DODGER

Well, I don't know what that means, but okay…

CADPIG

Comments? Opinions? Accusations?

DODGER

Well, why Marvin? He's pretty strong. We need him to win challenges.

CADPIG

_(Searching for words)_

Because...well, let me think—

DODGER

_(Smirking)_

...Yes?

COURAGE

_(Stepping forward)_

Well, Marvin started the argument today...at the challenge...and plus he's close with Zim. Let's say we got rid of Cat. That still allows Zim and Marvin to pull in Sonic and Yakko. Let's just break up a pair so they don't grab anyone….

DODGER

_(Smirking at COURAGE)_

Yeah, you know what you're talking about…

COURAGE

YES! I mean, yes...yes, I do. I'm smart…

CADPIG

But who were you thinking of voting for before we came over?

DODGER

_(Smirking)_

Well, if it's any comfort Cad...you're _low_ on my list...

_(Cut to DODGER chuckling in a confessional)_

DODGER

Marvin's not going home. I'll humor them, y'know...but I've got to show these kids where they stand here. I'm at the top. _They're_ at the bottom. I've got to think of my own game here. And I k_now_ who's going home. But make it happen, I'm going to have to finagle the votes a little…

* * *

_(Cut to MARVIN and ZIM, standing on the outskirts of camp. MARVIN is pacing back and forth. He seems to be having a mental breakdown)_

ZIM

Um, Marvin, I think you need to—

MARVIN

_(Rambling)_

Calm down? _I am_ calm! It's not my fault that he chose to go off rolling that boulder when we had a perfectly viable strategy, a strategy that would have _worked_ if the others hadn't—

ZIM

_(Frightened)_

Hey...hey, listen to me. I…I am your leader, and I command you to, um—

_(MARVIN grabs ZIM by the collar of his shirt, pulling him close)_

MARVIN

You are _not _my leader. Without me, they would crush you. Now, for the rest of this game, you will do what I say! Is that clear?

_(ZIM is speechless. He nods. MARVIN lets go of him)_

MARVIN

Now.._.here's_ what we're planning...

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

Dodger is a _pest._ He's the reason we lost today. Yakko's at least unaware that he's trying too hard. Dodger's charismatic. Well-liked. Tonight, it's Dodger …

* * *

_(Cut to MARVIN at the campfire, sitting with CAT, SONIC, and YAKKO)_

MARVIN

The four of us…and Zim...that makes five. Whatever Dodger and the others do is irrelevant. We'll have majority. Then after that, if we lose again – _and we won't_ – we put Cadpig and Courage on the chopping block.

CAT

Works for me...

YAKKO

You read my mind.

* * *

_(Cut to sometime later. YAKKO sits by the campfire, stacking sticks in the center. DODGER walks up behind him)_

DODGER

Hey Yak...you got a second?

YAKKO

For you? An eternity...

DODGER

So...Council tonight.

YAKKO

Yeah, shucks. Our lives. Our love. Crumbling in front of our eyes. It's a shame, Dodger. I was really starting to like this tribe.

DODGER

Yakko, cut the crap. I know you're targeting me tonight.

YAKKO

(Taken aback)

Okay. Well, wised up to that pretty fast...

DODGER

You really thought I'd just bow out like that? C'mon, I've got some muscle on me, kid. I can win these challenges for you. You're going to knock me out of the running now? If I'm gone, they'll just come for you next. You can't shut your mouth.

YAKKO

Well.._.this_ is what I can say to you right now, I've got Marvin, Zim, Cat, and Sonic. That's five…counting me. They're sitting right in my glove. We'll vote you out at the snap of a finger.

_(YAKKO snaps his finger for emphasis)_

_...Bam._ ...

(He grins at DODGER)

But...who says I've got to do the snapping?

DODGER

Here's why. I think Courage has an Idol...and if you don't get rid of it now, you're even dumber than you look...

_(Pause)_

YAKKO

You think he has it...?

DODGER

Yes.

YAKKO

...And you want us to...?

DODGER

We'll _force_ him to play it. We'll split the votes between Courage and, let's say Cadpig...all right? Three and _three._ If Courage plays his Idol, Cadpig goes home. If he _doesn't,_ we just do a revote after the tie. Then we send _him_ home. I _could_ be your friend. I _could_ be your enemy...but right now, we want that Idol gone. Right? And trust me, if I'm gone, they're going to flip on you next…

YAKKO

...What's in it for me, buddy-boy?

DODGER

Courage and Cadpig want _you_ gone. Pull the trigger...

YAKKO

_(After a moment)_

All right, Dodger…my compadre, my amigo...

_(YAKKO reaches out his hand. DODGER shakes it. YAKKO is enjoying every minute of his)_

YAKKO

And remember: Yakko is_ "Okkay"_ spelled backwards…

_(Cut to YAKKO in a confessional)_

YAKKO

I mean, he did_ finally_ ask me nicely. I'll humor him. Let's throw the puppy a bone….

* * *

_(Cut to sometime later. COURAGE sits in the shelter, resting in the shade. DODGER crawls up beside him. In comparison to before, he looks very frazzled. DODGER leans in close to COURAGE, making sure nobody else is around)_

DODGER

Pssst. Kid.

COURAGE

_What?_

DODGER

_Listen,_ tonight - vote for _Yakko…_

COURAGE

_What?_

DODGER

_(Excitedly)_

I_ tricked_ them. They're going to split the votes. Forget what we said about Marvin. You, me, Cadpig...we need _one more_ person, but that's it. _Vote Yakko._ You'll thank me later…hey, hey, where's _Cadpig? _Is she here?

COURAGE

Umm...at the well, getting water-

DODGER

So when she comes back, we'll explain this to her. All right?

COURAGE

All right...

_(DODGER holds out his fist to him)_

DOGER

Hey, _fist_ bump.

_(COURAGE complies, nervous. He bumps DODGER's fist)_

DODGER

BAM! Liked you from the moment I saw ya, kid...

_(DODGER hurries off the way he came. COURAGE sits there, watching him go. For the first time yet, COURAGE smiles)_

* * *

_(Cut to YAKKO walking up to ZIM, MARVIN, SONIC, and CAT, all seated around the fire. The sun is beginning to set)_

YAKKO

Courage and Cadpig are targeting us guys! Courage has the Idol!

MARVIN

_WHAT?_

YAKKO

_(Excitedly)_

Yeah, I don't know! It's a mess, whatever...but Courage tonight, all right? Dodger's voting with us! We'll split the votes! Three for Cadpig, three for Courage! This is _great!_

MARVIN

This is...this is…

YAKKO

What is it?

MARVIN

(Resigned)

I'm so done with you people...

* * *

_(Cut to CADPIG, crouched in the shelter with COURAGE. Her face is appalled)_

CADPIG

Why would you do that?

COURAGE

_Listen - to - me-_

CADPIG

Why would you say "yes?" Dodger's _using_ us. He's siding with the others right now. They're voting one of us out! Don't you see that? He's as transparent as aluminum!

COURAGE

Aluminum isn't transparent!

CADPIG

Is he talking to anyone else?

COURAGE

_(Looking down)_

Well, he..he has been, yeah..I mean..I_._..I don't know what to _tell_ you!

CADPIG

_(Shaking her head)_

Ugh. It's fine, okay? It's fine. Just..._okay,_ don't talk to anyone. Keep your mouth closed.

_(COURAGE opens his mouth to argue)_

NO! Zipped! _Shut! Good boy!_

_(CADPIG starts packing up her KNAPSACK. Then she crawls out of the shelter. COURAGE stays and watches, looking impatient)_

COURAGE

Where are you going now?

CADPIG

Stay _here._

COURAGE

I'll come with you-

CADPIG

(Raising her fist)

No! Zipped!

COURAGE

But-

CADPIG

_"Zipped!" Good boy._ Sit down. Sit. Sit. I must clean up your mess…

COURAGE

_(Sitting down, embarassed)_

Okay! _God..._

* * *

_(Cut to COURAGE, laying in the shelter, staring out into space. He looks very embarrassed with himself. DODGER peeks his head in, looking concerned)_

DODGER

Courage. _Hey._ You didn't talk to Cadpig without me._..?_

COURAGE

_(Quickly)_

No. No.

DODGER

You _didn't...?_

COURAGE

Well I...I did. Yes...but she was fine with it. Perfectly fine.

DODGER

_(Skeptically)_

You _sure?_

COURAGE

One-hundred percent!

DODGER

All right, all right...well...hang tight, boyo. I'm going to talk to _Sonic.._

_(DODGER hurries off the way he came. COURAGE sits in the SHELTER, exasperated. He shakes his head, glancing out at the DESERT where CADPIG vanished)_

* * *

_(Cut to CADPIG, walking through the desert. She looks under rocks and in between crevasses, searching for the immunity idol. The sun has almost completely set. As she searches in a crevasse, SONIC crosses up behind her. Pause. He taps her on the back. CADPIG turns around, startled. SONIC grins at her)_

SONIC

Hey—

CADPIG

_(Quietly)_

What are _you _doing out here?

SONIC

Looking for firewood...and_ you?_

_(CADPIG just glares at him. Doesn't respond)_

SONIC

Let's have a sit-down, Cad….

CADPIG

Why?

SONIC

Sit. I just want to gel with you. You've been messing with my flow.

CADPIG

I'm busy...

SONIC

Looking for the Idol? Or, I don't know, maybe you're spreading lies about me…

_(Pause. CADPIG leans against the crevasse, staring right back at him. She doesn't return his smile)_

SONIC

Okay, let's cut to the chase...why'd you have to bad-mouth me around camp?

CADPIG

What?

SONIC

Look, I've worked really hard to get where I am. I didn't get legs like this overnight. I've worked really hard for my friends, and everyone to look up to, and really, it's kind of lame for you to start passing me off as somebody I'm not…

CADPIG

I don't know what you're talking about—!

SONIC

Fine, fine. But life lesson, all right? It's easy to play _hard._ It's hard to play fair. I'm not here to yell. I'm not here to scold you. But talking behind people's backs always comes back to bite you…

CADPIG

Sonic, I _didn't_.

SONIC

C'mon. Yakko told me before.

_(A confused pause. CADPIG stares at him)_

CADPIG

Wait...what did Yakko say?

* * *

_(Cut to later that night. The NEMOS enter Tribal Council, each contestant carrying a torch. The Tribal Council area is a circle of wigwam teepees with a burning fire at the center. The NEMOS each take a seat in front of the fire)_

_(One-by-one, the NEMOS step into the booth at TRIBAL COUNCIL to vote…) _

_(Cut to ZIM in the voting booth)_

ZIM

I'll vote with you today...but here's a lesson. Don't touch me. Don't demean me. Don't treat me like I'm nothing. You_ will_ pay for this, Marvin…

_(Cut to MARVIN in the voting booth)_

MARVIN

Dodger can do what he wants this round. I'm too annoyed with everyone to argue. Courage, you were clearly not cut out for this. You can barely find firewood, nonetheless survive. Your name is but a misnomer. And we need to win challenges. Godspeed. Good luck. This is my game.

_(Cut to YAKKO in a confessional)_

YAKKO

Goodnight sweet prince. I knew thee well.

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

You're a snake and a liar...and if I wouldn't be sued for it, I'd knock the smug grin off your face. Forget you, go home, goodbye.

_(Cut to SONIC in a confessional)_

SONIC

There's a special place for people like you. Luckily, it's not in this game. Team Sonic, signing out.

_(Cut to CAT in a confessional)_

CAT

Pitiful. Simply pitiful...

_(Cut to COURAGE in a confessional)_

COURAGE

I need to get on Dodger's good side…

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

Remember...Dodger spelled backwards is...absolutely nothing_. _I'm so glad you're gone…

_(The NEMOS sit on the bench, waiting for the reading of votes. The HOST enters, carrying the jar of votes)_

* * *

HOST

Once the votes are cast, the decision is final. The person voted out will be asked to leave the tribal council area immediately. If anyone has a hidden immunity idol, now would be the time to play it.

_(Everyone turns to look at COURAGE. He sits there, confused, not realizing what the big deal is)_

COURAGE

Why...why are you all staring at me...?

HOST

I'll read the votes...

* * *

**First vote…**

**CADPIG**

**Second vote...**

**COURAGE**

**Third vote...**

**COURAGE**

**Fourth vote...**

**COURAGE**

**Fifth vote...**

**YAKKO**

**Sixth vote**

**YAKKO**

**Seventh vote...**

**YAKKO**

**Eighth vote….**

**YAKKO**

**First person voted out of Survivor: Animation Brawl...**

**YAKKO**

* * *

_(DODGER smirks. COURAGE is shocked. CADPIG and SONIC exchange smiles. MARVIN is furious, turning to ZIM and CAT for an explanation - but they are just as confused, if not more. YAKKO rises, storming away from the others. He collects his TORCH and crosses to the HOST, who is holding a coconut husk tied to the end of a stick. YAKKO sticks his torch in the ground)_

HOST

Yakko...the tribe has spoken. Time for you to go.

_(The HOST places the coconut husk on YAKKO's torch, putting out the fire. YAKKO turns back to the OTHERS, grinning from ear-to-ear)_

YAKKO

GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!

_(YAKKO skips out of the TRIBAL COUNCIL area. The HOST turns back to the others)_

HOST

Well, you just made a decision that cut your tribe in half. The question is...can you come together so you don't end up here again? Grab your stuff...head back to camp.

* * *

**VOTE TALLY**

**CAT voted for CADPIG**

**DODGER voted for YAKKO**

**CADPIG voted for YAKKO**

**SONIC voted for YAKKO**

**COURAGE voted for YAKKO**

**YAKKO voted for COURAGE**

**ZIM voted for COURAGE**

**MARVIN voted for COURAGE**

* * *

A/N: Every time a character is eliminated, I'll be writing up my thoughts on their exits afterwards. First and foremost - Yakko. There's not an inordinate amount to say about him - given that he's the first boot of the story - but I did like writing him and wish he could have lasted longer. In a lot of_ Animaniacs_ stories you find on the net - and believe me, there's some really, really good ones, so check it out - Yakko tends to be the main character. I don't know why. I'd read so many stories in Yakko's voice so I decided I'd rather spend time with Wakko and Dot.

It would have been nice to see him last longer, mainly because I didn't really get to dig into him here. Everything about his character was game-related rather than emotional or fixated more on his relationships with his siblings. Still, Yakko served his purpose in this story. He may not have gotten the most positive portrayal in the world but he delivered what he needed to in being an arrogant first boot. And you can believe this is going to affect Wakko and Dot going forward.

I think Yakko succumbed to intimidation without realizing it. He was threatened by Dodger, and when he got the chance to walk over him - or so it seemed - he jumped at the opportunity to dominate him and didn't think twice. Oh well. Maybe he learned something...


	4. He's Blind To His Own Shadow, Part I

_(The NEMOS walk back into camp, placing their torches against a tree. MARVIN keeps his distance from the OTHERS as they gather around the fire, huddling for warmth. SONIC sits down next to MARVIN. He gives him a playful nudge)_

SONIC

Y'know guys, even after all the squabbling, I'm glad we still have each other. Let's bring it in, guys. Nemo-pride, all the way…

MARVIN

Pride. Speak for yourself, Sonic.

SONIC

Hey come on, it's just a game—

MARVIN

A game? A game?! It is not just a game! Don't you see this is for a million dollars? Don't you see the...the cutthroat nature of this? Everyone's here to win, not to make friends. We should accept it.

_(Everyone stares at him, taken aback. He turns to the rest of the group)_

We have to keep the fire going. Someone...help me get firewood

_(MARVIN storms away from the campfire. COURAGE starts to walk after him, but CADPIG reaches out, putting a hand on his shoulder)_

CADPIG

He's just cranky…

COURAGE

Yeah, well, he used a lot of big words. I didn't bring my thesaurus...

_(CADPIG smiles at him weakly. She opens her mouth, trying to say something. COURAGE notices and smirks back) _

COURAGE

Yes?

CADPIG

...So...yeah, Dodger wasn't lying...about Yakko. My bad—

COURAGE

It's fine.

_(Awkward pause)_

CADPIG

...So...um... Kansas, right?

COURAGE

Yes?

CADPIG

Ooh...it must be hot there.

COURAGE

Meh…

(Another pause)

_CADPIG_

...You know, one time at my farm – like, where I live – there was this crazy, crazy heat wave, so I went to the freezer, but I locked myself inside, and then when they found me I was all, like, cold and shivery and popsiclely and—

COURAGE

Wow.

CADPIG

Yeah.

_(Pause. She smiles awkwardly)_

Not my brightest hour. So, um—

COURAGE

You know...if you want to be friends, you could ask.

CADPIG

We_ are_ friends—

COURAGE

I know. Well, I mean, like..."friend-friends." Not..."I'm using you for a vote…" friends. I mean...I like you...as a friend.

CADPIG

_(Excited)_

WHAT?

COURAGE

(Nervous)

Yeah, I _do._ Yeah. Is there...a problem with that or...?

_(CADPIG reaches over and hugs COURAGE. Hard. He squirms in her grip)_

COURAGE

_Ow!_ Too tight, Cadpig...too tight…

CADPIG

We've got this, buddy. You and me! Yes, yes, oh my gosh! Through stress and decompression! Through thick and thick! It's all uphill from here!

_(From over CADPIG's shoulder, COURAGE locks eyes with DODGER from across the fire. DODGER gives COURAGE a wink. COURAGE gives him a thumbs-up in return)_

* * *

_(Cut to MARVIN walking on the outskirts of camp. He holds a walking stick and marches over rocks. Every so often, he sticks the stick under a rock, kneeling down and picking through the dirt)_

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

In the past, my anger has caused the destruction of planets, moons, and people. If I wanted to, I could melt all five of their brains with a ray gun...but would that be satisfying? No...because if your brain's melted, you can't feel humiliation. I stole Courage's Idol clue at the campsite. Now, I have to keep my eyes on the prize.

_(Cut to MARVIN scaling the side of a rocky wall. He peeks through little holes, sticking his arm in as far as it can go. He takes the Idol clue out of his pocket and reads it…)_

MARVIN

_"There's nineteen cracks—_

_You'll have to see—_

_The square of four, times five, plus three."_

_(Muttering to himself)_

The square of four is two...times five is ten...plus three is _thirteen._

_(Cut to MARVIN crossing to the thirteenth crack on the wall. He fishes in with his arm, shaking it around)_

MARVIN

Yes..._yes…._

_(Slowly, chipping away rocks and dirt, MARVIN pulls a hidden immunity idol out of the hole. He holds it close to his chest. Then he takes off, running into the night)_

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional. He holds the idol for the camera. For the first time yet in the game, he smiles)_

MARVIN

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed Martian is king…


	5. He's Blind To His Own Shadow, Part II

_(Cut to the GERTIE CAMP. The tribe sits around their campfire. As a reward for their challenge, they have been given a congratulatory feast: hot dogs, marshmallows, chocolate, and small beverages. _

_NORBERT raises his hot dog on a stick, hanging it above the fire. The OTHERS raise their sticks as well, treating it like "a toast.")_

NORBERT

All right...here's to kicking back, winning challenges, and none of us going home anytime soon!

DAGGETT

Yeah, yeah, what Norb said! My brother!_ Bro-thairrr!_ Here's to it!

_(Cut to DOT in a confessional)_

DOT

Norb's awesome. He's sort of like Mister Congeniality on our tribe. He catches fish; he built our shelter. Basically...we have the whole tribe eating out of our hands!

_(Cut back to the scene. RITA smiles at NORBERT from across the fire)_

RITA

Norb, who's going to sleep in the shelter tonight?

TIMON

Aw c'mon, you've laid there for days—

RITA

I was speaking for_ everyone._

NORBERT

I think if you want to sleep there Rita, you're perfectly welcome.

_(The OTHERS laugh. RITA just smiles)_

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

Yeah. I kind of hate them all equally... but y'know, you win a challenge, you have a few drinks….maybe this game could actually be_ fun. _Maybe I should start playing...

* * *

_(Cut to RITA and NORBERT, laying near each other in the shelter that night. The OTHERS sleep around them. They quietly pick through the leftover marshmallows)_

RITA

Marshmallows. Ironic. That's the first thing I ate when I became a stray. Y'know that?

NORBERT

I mean, this is the first time we're talking. You haven't told me anything…

RITA

Found a bag...laying against a dumpster on Hollywood Boulevard. The restaurant owner had laced the dumpster with arsenic and I almost died….

NORBERT

Well, guess luck's not your strong suit…

_(He makes room, sliding over)_

You can scoot over, yknow...

_(RITA smiles and moves closer to him)_

NORBERT

Homeless, huh?

RITA

It has its ups-and-downs...more downs than ups. How would _you_ know?

NORBERT

(Chuckling)

Well, if you're joking about it...I mean, I _assumed_ I could do the same.

RITA

You're fine. You're fine...

_(Pause)_

I don't like our tribe...

NORBERT

_Hmmm..._

RITA

Do you?

NORBERT

Well, you kind of _have_ to at this point. Can't rock the boat, senorita…

RITA

Okay, but let me ask you a question, Norbert...Norby...is there something going on between you and Dot?

NORBERT

What would make you think that?

RITA

Well...the fact that she follows you like a little fangirl twenty-four seven. I mean...one would _assume..._

NORBERT

No. There's nothing between me and Dot…

RITA

I _thought_ so... and yet...you don't really make an effort to hide that, do you?

NORBERT

What do you mean?

RITA

People are _saying_ things. I'm not going to say your names coming up...but if you walk around with somebody twenty four seven, it's not going to look good. I mean...you, Dot, her brother, plus_ your_ brother...that's four right there. It's a bit intimidating, isn't it?

NORBERT

_(Nudging closer to her)_

Well...what if _we_ started something?

RITA

Like...?

NORBERT

Say we use Dot's vote...and _my_ brother too, like you said...if Dot pulls in Wakko, that's five, with the three of us - you, me, and Dag - having majority _within_ that five.

RITA

Like an alliance _within_ an alliance..,

NORBERT

And you thought I was just a pretty face?

RITA

Well...when you keep dumb company, one just assumes...

_(Pause. She looks up thoughtfully at the stars)_

...Dot's _really_ annoying though.

NORBERT

(Laughing)

Can't fault you there...can't fault you there...

_(Cut to a shot of DOT, awake nearby, staring at NORBERT and RITA. She scowls)_

_(Cut to DOT in a confessional)_

DOT

So I'm awake in the shelter and I see Rita chuckling away with Norb. You think he's buying it, sweetie? Please. I'm an actress. I can recognize actors…

* * *

_(Cut to later that night. A storm is brewing outside the shelter. Lightning strikes down on the sand. WAKKO sits in the shelter, looking at the rain, not sleeping. He hears sniffling)_

WAKKO

Dog, are you all right?

DOG

No.

WAKKO

Come on, what's the matter...

DOG

I wish I was home...

WAKKO

I think I we all do...

_(A crack of lighting out in the DESERT. WAKKO and DOG sit there in silence. DOG's sniffles are the only sound. The silence carries on for a bit)_

DOG

_(Finally speaking)_

I...I don't want to lose tomorrow.

WAKKO

Huh?

DOG

...Or...or make a mistake...and have Cat be mad. I don't want to give him a reason to...

WAKKO

Reason to what? Wait, why would Cat be angry?

DOG

I wonder if he doesn't sometimes. If he doesn't_ like_ me. I'm not sure. Like, in the challenge…up, up…up the hill, pushing…but it wasn't for our tribe. It wasn't for you. It wasn't even for me. I just hate it when Cat looks down on me. And at the same time...I miss him…

WAKKO

Well, hey, hey, you won the challenge today, didn't you?

DOG

I guess...

WAKKO

Yeah, you pushed the boulder up the hill. _Faboo. Fantastic._ Y'know, at the end of the day...I don't _care_ if I win or lose. I just wanted to come out here with my brother and sister...I mean, whatever happens...it doesn't matter. Not in the end...right?

_(DOG nods but he doesn't respond. He just stares out at the rain)_

WAKKO

Are you cold?

DOG

Yes.

WAKKO

Here. Here, sit next to me...

DOG

Is your family still your family...if they don't like you?

WAKKO

Of course they are. They just have a hard time showing it…

_(WAKKO leans closer to DOG, keeping him warm)_

* * *

_(Cut to the following morning. The GERTIES are scattered around the CAMPFIRE, heating up leftovers for breakfast. KATZ and TIMON sit on logs, minding their business. DOT sits on the opposite side, washing her face with water in a bucket. DAGGETT stands center, holding the bag of MARSHMALLOWS)_

DAGGETT

Hey guys, guys, guys...want to see how many marshmallows I can cram into my mouth in _fifteen_ seconds?

KATZ

I'd fancy to say none...

DAGGETT

Well, you've got another thing coming... !

_(DAGGETT wolfs down the rest of the marshmallows. His eyes widen. He begins to choke)_

TIMON

Guys, Daggett's choking!

_(DOT stands up, rushing over to DAGGETT. She stands behind him, locking her arms in front of his stomach. She pushes hard. The marshmallows go flying out of his mouth in a gunky mess. Gagging, and overdramatic, DAGGETT falls to the ground. He drags DOT with him)_

DOT

Are you okay?

DAGGETT

_(Smiling up at her)_

_Am I ever..._

_(Cut to DAGGETT in a confessional)_

DAGGETT

Yeah, yeah, Norby thinks he's running things around here...yeah, like whoop-de-freaking-do. You think I care? He's flirting with these girls left and right, but that's good for me obviously, _great_ for me. Where he goes, I go. We've got _two shots_ at a million. And when the time comes, I'm going to make a clean sweep to win.

_(Cut back to the marshmallow incident. DOT helps DAGGETT to his feet)_

DAGGETT

Thanks for saving me.

DOT

_(Annoyed)_

Yeah, no problem, Daggett...

DAGGETT

...So, Dot, right?

DOT

We've known each other for three days now.

DAGGETT

We have...we have. Um…

_(He offers her one of the MARSHMALLOWS he choked up)_

Want a marshmallow?

DOT

WHAT?

DAGGETT

I didn't chew on this one—

DOT

_(To TIMON)_

_Did you hear what he said?_

DAGGETT

I DIDN'T!

* * *

_(Cut to the CHALLENGE the following morning. It takes place at a nearby pond. Over the water, a long RACK is set up resembling monkey bars. There are fifteen BARS, one for each contestant. In front of the pond, there are two separate mats: a white one for NEMO and a black one for GERTIE. The HOST stands on his OWN MAT facing them)_

HOST

Come in, guys!

_(The GERTIES walk in, taking their place on their mat. Shortly after, the NEMOS enter from the other side)_

HOST

Gertie, getting your first look at the new Nemo Tribe... Yakko, voted out last night at Tribal Council...

_(Shot of the GERTIES' reaction. Most are shocked...but not enough can be said for WAKKO and DOT. Their mouths hang open, staring at the NEMOS)_

HOST

Dot...you look absolutely devastated. Care to come?

_(Still, no response. DOT just stares)_

Dot…?

DOT

Right...yeah, that's really funny, guys. _Where are you, Yakko? Come out now…_

WAKKO

Um, Dot—

DOT

Come on, come out! HAH-HAH! OH MY GOSH! You guys know why we did this? It's funny. We just wanted a "slushy machine" – for our water tower. That's it. That' s all. That's the only reason we came on this stupid show. Enjoy your million dollars, kids. Okay, we're done here. YAKKO, COME OUT! JOKE'S OVER!

WAKKO

Dot...I...I don't think this is a joke…

RITA

_(Whispering to DOT)_

...Go ahead. It's fine. You finally lost something. Go home…

HOST

So what does this mean, Dot? Are you and your brother _quitting?_

DOT

No. Are you joking? Okay people, you've declared war. Do you hear me? Bombs going off. Stars and stripes forever. Nobody messes with the Warner brothers…or the Warner sister. Come here Wakko, let's give them a death stare—

WAKKO

But Dot, you're making this a much bigger deal than it really—

DOT

_Death stare!_

_(She pulls WAKKO in toward her face. She glares at the NEMOS from far away)_

We're watching you. Always watching…

(Cut to DOT in a confessional. She's tearing up)

DOT

Yeah, I mean, of course I had to be strong out there. I don't know. I was just talking and talking and it was like Yakko speaking through me. Like what Yakko would have done. I don't know what's going to happen next. But we're on our own now…

_(Cut back to the scene. DOT glarES at the opposing TRIBE from their mat, trying to look tough. From behind DOT, NORBERT leans in toward her ear)_

NORBERT

Lay low…Stay cool….all right? Don't give them a reason to go after you…

DOT

It's fine, Norb. I'm done. You don't have to tell us anything...

_(From behind them, RITA exchanges a grin with NORBERT. She tries not to laugh)_

HOST

All right...with that out of the way, let's get to today's challenge. Behind me, there are fifteen metal bars over the pond. To win the challenge, each contestant must hang from their bar for as long as they possibly can. After twenty minutes, you can only use their legs. The winner is determined by the last contestant hanging – either a Nemo or a Gertie. For the winning tribe...immunity tonight, no danger of going home. For the losers...a date with me at Tribal Council. Let's get started...

* * *

_(Cut to ALL FIFTEEN CONTESTANTS hanging from the MONKEY BARS._

_Some – like WAKKO and DOG – instantly find a good position. They don't move a muscle. Others aren't as fortunate. DAGGETT, almost immediately, scrambles with his hands and legs. He struggles to find the right angle. After a moment, his hands slip. DAGGETT goes falling into the water. Right away, this equalizes the challenge – seven NEMOS and seven GERTIES._

_TIMON, MARVIN, ZIM, CAT, and DODGER are all struggling. The only ones that seem to be in a good place are WAKKO, DOG, and now DOT – who after some reconfiguring, is now stationary, arms locked around her BAR)_

_Suddenly, a wave of splashes occur. MARVIN falls into the water, unable to hold on any longer. CAT follows. ZIM twists his head to laugh at them. In the process, he loses his grip and falls in the water. SONIC topples in afterwards. This leaves TEN left)_

_NORBERT and RITA start to tremble. RITA shakes her head at NORBERT, indicating she can't hold on any longer. NORBERT nods. She lets go, falling in the water. NORBERT holds on with his last strength. Then, like the OTHERS, before him, he drops down into the POND)_

_Twenty minutes have passed. The CONTESTANTS now must make the transition to only using their legs. The transition is troublesome. CADPIG can't make it. She falls into the water...and following her are DODGER and TIMON.)_

_This leaves only five: KATZ, DOT, WAKKO, DOG, and COURAGE. At different bars – and with different methods – they've all managed to wrap their legs around their bar._

_KATZ eyes the OTHERS, studying them carefully. He doesn't appear to be in any trouble. KATZ looks at COURAGE – his eyes closed, his face contorted in pain. Then he looks at the remaining GERTIES: DOT, WAKKO, and DOG. Voluntarily, but unbeknownst to the others, KATZ lets go and falls into the water…_

_DOG is shaking in pain, struggling to hold on._

_He is next to fall…._

_Shortly afterwards, DOT reaches up to adjust her legs. She lets go and vanishes in the water._

_The CHALLENGE turns into a showdown: Wakko and Courage, competing for immunity for their TRIBES._

_COURAGE, obviously, has been in a great deal of pain from the start…but through thick and thin, he's clung on for dear life. WAKKO has managed better. Still, he's starting to shake and his legs aren't as locked as they used to be._

_The challenge drags on for another half an hour._

_Neither WAKKO nor COURAGE move a muscle. From the sidelines, their TRIBEMATES yell out cries of support. The most vocal are DOT, in the case of WAKKO, and CADPIG, cheering on Courage…_

_Suddenly, COURAGE shifts his right leg._

_WAKKO, tired and disoriented by the sun, moves his leg as well...but it's enough to unbuckle him. WAKKO lets go. He plummets down into the water._

_From the sidelines, the NEMOS cheer..._


	6. He's Blind To His Own Shadow, Part III

_(Cut to the GERTIE CAMP sometime after the challenge. DOT sits in the SHELTER, bawling her eyes out over what's happened to YAKKO. WAKKO sits on the side trying to comfort her. NORBERT stands nearby, arms folded, debating whether or not to step in and say something)_

_NORBERT_

_(Annoyed)_

Y'know, you seemed totally fine at the challenge—

_DOT_

I'm a woman, Norbert. I'm sorry, we're prone to very, very quick shifts in emotion. I'm hyperventilating. I can't breathe. I'm so scared. What if he's hurt? He's never lost anything before. Oh God, what are they feeding him? They don't know he's lactose intolerant…

WAKKO

(Brightly)

Well, when we get voted out, more ice cream for us!

DOT

That doesn't help, Wakko!

_(Cut to KATZ sitting on the other side of the CAMPFIRE, sharpening a stick of wood. He cringes at the sound of DOT's sobbing, unable to take it anymore. Without warning, he snaps the stick in half)_

_(Cut to KATZ in a confessional)_

KATZ

_(A little somber)_

I have no family to speak of...and that's quite all right_. _I didn't need "family" to become a multi-millionaire. Nor did I need "family" to open up six businesses, to become a poacher with three bearskin rugs, or...or become the number-one handball champion in the state of Kansas five-years running. What's happening now with Wakko and his sister and the taller one is nothing short of pitiful. Truly,I am sorry that their immaturity is going to get the better of them out there...but they're not going to make me dwell on it. ...because can't _talk_ to my family anymore...

_(KATZ takes a deep breath, looking away from the camera. Then he regains his demeanor. He looks back with a smile)_

...But if I _wasn't_ the last Katz standing...I'm sure the rest of the clan would be rather keen to see me win a million and buy a tennis court...

* * *

_(Cut back to the SHELTER. WAKKO rises with DOT, helping to her feet with NORBERT at their side. DOT is still sniffling but seems to be in better spirits. _

_DOG, DAGGETT, and RITA have now joined them. The group has a quick exchange. Then they start walking off into the DESERT with NORBERT leading the way._

_The camera zooms out. We see KATZ hiding behind the SHELTER, eyeing them all carefully. He winks at the camera and takes off after them, hiding in the shadows)_

* * *

_(Several minutes later. Cut to TIMON, impatiently standing at the campfire. KATZ walks back from the desert)_

TIMON

_(Rubbing his fingers)_

So what's going down, Katz? Fill me in.

KATZ

What do you think, you abysmal desert rat?

TIMON

What? _You_ spied on them. I'm looking for information, y'know. Incognito.

KATZ

I did..

TIMON

...So...?

KATZ

(Slowly)

...And when _six_ people go off to discuss voting for somebody, and two people stay behind, who do you think they're targeting?

TIMON

You?

KATZ

It's you, Timon. You. They want to vote you out. Need I say it in French?

TIMON

But that's just...that's…no, _no,_ I held onto the bar—

KATZ

I know but—

TIMON

I was there, for like—

KATZ

_(Talking over him)_

Timon—

TIMON

I was up there forever – and what about Daggett, what's-his-face, Daggett fell FIRST! No, no, you are NOT telling me— wait, is this because of the bugs? Because I can eat the bugs and they can't? What kind of stupid, cockamamie—

KATZ

Did you fancy yourself close to them?

TIMON

I've been palling with everyone! What, you think they're going to target me? It's me. The mighty meerkat. I've been holding this tribe together. There's a lapse somewhere. In communication. Something's off—

KATZ

I'm telling you what I heard…

TIMON

_(Laughing a little)_

Let me walk over there to Norb, see what's up. Hang tight...

KATZ

Timon, they seemed very adamant about this. You're making a mistake….

TIMON

C'mon, I live in Africa! _Af-ree-ka._

_(He picks up a handful of SAND from the ground)_

You see this sand?

KATZ

Yes?

TIMON

Back home, I am sleeping in it. This is like my backyard. I'm vigilant. I'm not prone to mistakes...

_(TIMON walks out of the campsite, laughing under his breath. As he leaves, he trips over a stone and falls flat on his face)_

TIMON

...My first and _only_ mistake—

_(TIMON hurries off before KATZ can say anything)_

_(Cut to KATZ in a confessional. He yawns, fanning himself)_

KATZ

Of course they weren't targeting him. Not yet. But now off he goes...like a lamb to the slaughter…

* * *

_(Cut to WAKKO, DOT, NORBERT, DAGGETT, DOG, and RITA standing in a circle and chatting. They are on the outskirts of CAMP, far away from the campfire)_

DOG

Hey, hey...since we're all together, won't Katz and Timon suspect something?

NORBERT

Wow Dog, I've got to say...that was the most observant thing I have _ever_ heard you say…

_(NORBERT, DAGGETT, DOT, and RITA laugh. WAKKO just scowls at them from the side)_

NORBERT

_No, no, tell me, why_ do you think they'd notice?

DOG

_(Quietly)_

Never mind…

RITA

(Breaking the tension)

So with all that being said...Timon tonight, right?

DOT

Little slow on the uptake, Rita…

RITA

_(Smiling)_

I don't know, Dot. You're just _that _hard to keep up with.

_(The OTHERS force laughs. As they do, TIMON comes out, crawling out from behind a rock. He clears his throat)_

TIMON

Hey guys.

_(Awkward pause. The OTHERS stare at him)_

So, uh, little…unofficial meeting here? Didn't get the memo?

_(WAKKO, disgusted with them, walks away. DOG follows him. DOT watches WAKKO march off. Hesitant, she starts to walk after her brother. NORBERT, RITA, and DAGGETT are left alone, facing TIMON. DAGGETT tries to hide his laughter)_

RITA

No. Come in, join us...we were just thinking..._Katz _tonight?

TIMON

YES! CALLED IT! No, no...oh my _God, _he was saying just we're all going to, like, turn on each other!

_(The OTHERS laugh uncomfortably)_

Um, "sorry, I'm not the one who goes off on their own seven hours a day and doesn't talk!" I mean, you were joshing me for eating beetles, but the guy's a freak, let me tell you...

RITA

Yeah...creepy dude.

DAGGETT

_(Butting in)_

Hey, did he ever do that thing to any of you, where he'll just stare, and then when you look at him—

RITA

RIGHT, RIGHT! And he does that creepy head-turn thing – like, what's that old movie? That black-and-white one, where the vampire turns his head, and it's like—

DAGGETT

NOSFERATU!

TIMON

_(Talking over DAGGETT)_

Nosferatu?

RITA

YES! THAT'S IT!

DAGGETT

_(Struggling to be heard)_

But...that's what I _said..._

NORBERT

_(Uncomfortable with the gossip)_

Hey…I'm going to go cool off in the pond, all right guys?

RITA

(Confused)

Okay…?

_(NORBERT smiles and walks off)_

_(Cut to NORBERT in a confessional)_

NORBERT

I don't _enjoy _voting people out. I mean, these guys can do what they want...but c'mon, have some class about it. I'm not going to make small talk with you if I know I'm sending you home. It's not cool. I'm above that. But whatever...plan's set. Timon's going home. So I'm going into radio silence. This is Norbert Foster Beaver, resident Survivor Guru... _signing off._

_(Cut to a shot of NORBERT, floating in his back in the pond, relaxing. The sun sets in the desert behind him)_

* * *

_(Cut to WAKKO, standing alone in the woods. He struggles to break a branch off a tree for firewood. DOT walks down a hill behind him)_

DOT

There you are, "Mister I'm going to stand there and not talk to anyone!" C'mon, you're like Katz or something...

_(WAKKO smiles uncomfortably at her)_

Hey. Hey. Remember what we said about this?

WAKKO

_(Trying to smile)_

I know Dot, but—

DOT

NO BUTS! No more being _quiet._ C'mon, you're going back. Socializing 101. If we want to win, we need people to like you—

WAKKO

But...I really think we need to talk first—

DOT

No. _No._ We said so – we said if you got shy again, we'd go back over and talk to Norbert. Don't you want to win?

WAKKO

_(Getting louder)_

Dot, I need to talk to you – here- _now—_

DOT

What's wrong?

WAKKO

I know you're really close to Norbert—

DOT

Yeah, we're tight - but why's that bad?

WAKKO

(Quietly)

It's not….

DOT

Oh Wakko come on, you _have_ talk to the others—

WAKKO

But—

DOT

(Raising her hand)

NO BUTS! You can't just be, like, antisocial with Dog all the time-

WAKKO

_(Snapping)_

DOT! Look – Norbert hates you...and he's using you for your vote!

_(Pause. DOT stares at him, confused and hurt)_

DOT

...Huh?

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional. He bites down on his tongue hanging out of his mouth)_

WAKKO

See, normally, I'd go over there and smash Norbert's stupid gookie face in with a mallet, or drop an anvil on him, or chase him up a tree...but I am sick, sick, sick of these people parading around and thinking and thinking they're _outwitting_ my family. We don't need Yakko here to give these people what they deserve...

* * *

_(Cut to WAKKO and DOT, creeping through a cluster of bushes in the desert. They peer over the top, looking out at NORBERT floating in the pond, spying. They watch as RITA crosses up to the pond, dipping her paw into the water)_

RITA

May I take a dip?

NORBERT

Rumor has it cats don't like water.

RITA

_(Climbing down into the water)_

Well, rumor has it that beavers build dams. Though in this water...where's the _dam?_

NORBERT

Forgot your standards were so high.

RITA

Hey, remember Dot's idea when they wanted to build the shelter?

_(Cut to DOT and WAKKO watching in the bushes. DOT leans in closer, cracking a branch on the bush. WAKKO shushes her)_

WAKKO

Shhh, shhh! _QUIET!_

_(Cut back to NORBERT and RITA in the pond)_

NORBERT

You want to refresh my memory on that or…?

RITA

(Mocking DOT)

_"It needs a foundation! It's not going to work! My big brother Yakko knows how to do this!"_

NORBERT

_(Forcing a laugh)_

Oh right, right…

RITA

Like, um, if your brother was so smart Dot, then why was he voted out first? I don't know. I think there's something off there…

NORBERT

Yeah, well, there comes a time for everything. We'll get rid of her eventually…

_(DOT charges out of the bushes. WAKKO tries to stop her but he falls flat on his face. DOT storms over to the pond. RITA sees her first. Panicking, she shoves NORBERT's head under water, trying to hide him)_

DOT

Step back, Wakko! I'll handle these clowns! Get out of the water, you buck-toothed fruitcake!

WAKKO

Dot, stop!

RITA

_(Pushing NORBERT's head)_

Dot, hi! What, uh, brings you to...the _pond?_

_(DOT raises her hands, ready to drag RITA out of the pond. WAKKO runs over. He restrains her from behind, holding her back)_

DOT

LET GO!

WAKKO

We can leave this game two ways. Getting kicked out or winning. If you hit them, they'll disqualify us. These people humiliated Yakko. Right now, we're just humiliating ourselves. How do you want to leave?

_(NORBERT resurfaces from the water. He shoves RITA away from him)_

NORBERT

Dot...um..._heyyyy..._

DOT

Norbert...

NORBERT

Look at you. My little angel. Um, do you want to, um...do you want to talk alone for a bit or—

_(DOT can't help it. She bursts into tears, powerless)_

RITA

(Trying to save ground)

Wait...did you even hear what I said? I didn't say you were_ "annoying"._ Like, as a person. It was just, the way you wanted to build the shelter before, y'know, it was kind of—

NORBERT

I've got this. I've got this...

_(NORBERT climbs out of the pond. Smiling, he puts a hand on DOT's shoulder)_

NORBERT

Dottie, let's talk...all right?

_(DOT spits in NORBERT's face. NORBERT just stands there, shocked, humiliated)_

_DOT_

Call me Dottie...and you die...

_(DOT storms back into the bushes)_

WAKKO

(Smiling at NORBERT)

Yeah...well, you had that coming. Top of the day, old sport!

_(WAKKO hurries off as well, following DOT. RITA sits in the water, horrified at what's she's just allowed to happen)_

* * *

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional)_

WAKKO

So after that, everything calmed down. We manned the troops, launched the battle stations! I mean,_ she_ did. I kind of just sat there and thought about vegetables...

_(Cut to WAKKO, DOT, TIMON, KATZ, and DOG sitting around the campfire. DOT has engaged them all in a huddle)_

DOT

All right, so we're all gunning for Norbert tonight. Correct?

_(EVERYONE applauds)_

* * *

_(Cut to NORBERT sitting in the desert on a rock. He traces a stick in the sand, apparently in deep thought. _

_Glancing up, he sees RITA approaching him from about ten feet away. _

_Very quickly, NORBERT hurries off, trying to leave before she can see him. _

_RITA notices. She looks rather hurt)_

* * *

_(Cut to NORBERT sitting somewhere else in the desert. He sketches names and numbers in the sand with his stick, trying to figure out what to do. From about ten feet away, DAGGETT approaches)_

DAGGETT

Norby?

_NORBERT_

_(Exasperated)_

Hey Dag….

_(NORBERT erases his writings. DAGGETT walks up behind him)_

DAGGETT

Ehhh...what are you doing in the middle of nowhere?

NORBERT

You enjoying yourself out here?

DAGGETT

Well...besides the termites, and the rain, and the dirty water. Ehh, I don't know. Nothing I can't handle. More than some of these girls anyway. So whatcha doing? Are you making sand-art?

NORBERT

Thinking.

DAGGETT

Ooh, ooh, what about?

NORBERT

None of your business, Daggy-Waggy. Look, go back to camp. I've got to...decompress. I have a lot going through my head—

DAGGETT

Is it Rita?

NORBERT

What?

DAGGETT

C'mon, I can read you like a book. You sleep together in the shelter, you go swimming together. Norby's in _looooove. _I'm going to tell Mom; I'm going to tell Mom—

NORBERT

(Smiling)

I have a girlfriend back home…

DAGGETT

So…what, you're just out here alone? Oh, are you thinking of how to tell her you like her? I can help; I can help. Let's make her dinner, and like, I'll sing karaoke and—

NORB

Can you please head back to camp?

DAGGETT

Yeah, yeah. Fine. I'll give you your alone time. I mean, with these people, I need mine too. Get this. Some of these people, I think they feel like you'd protect Dot over me. Like, hello, we're related! _Ree-lay-teeeeed!_ I mean, we came from the same egg; the same embryo! It's not like—

NORBERT

(Cutting him off)

Daggett, do me a favor: don't talk to anyone tonight...

DAGGETT

What?

NORBERT

...And I'm not going to talk to anyone either. _Okay?_ It's a game. We're going to be really, really quiet…

_(Awkward silence)_

DAGGETT

...I'm not stupid, y'know..

NORBERT

I know, I know. But-

DAGGETT

Stupid spoothead! What, you think I don't think about the game? Like, I think about stuff! I think about so much stuff that if you thought about it…your….your brain would ooze out through your ears—

NORBERT

Yes. I value your input. But Dag, I don't want any variables. Please. Everything's in place now, for Dot to go home, and I just don't want anything to—

DAGGETT

I'm not a variable! Your _face_ is a variable!

NORBERT

_(Dismayed)_

Daggett, please— for the love of God-

DAGGETT

No, no, you listen to me, Norbert. Norbert "I'm smarter and holier than everyone else" Beaver. I've grown up with you; I've lived in your shadow. And you've demeaned me for the last time. You may think I'm a loser or dumb or stupid or whatever, but this is my time. I'm not here to bow down to you. I'm here to win. No matter what our parents says. No matter what our sisters say. This is my time…

NORBERT

_(Snapping)_

Okay, well, how about this: I'm going home tonight!

DAGGETT

…What?

NORBERT

Yeah, so you can have your time! The game's yours! Take it! Stupid spooty-spoot brother…

DAGGETT

Why didn't you tell me?

NORBERT

Because you're a self-destructive nitwit, you little crustacean! That's why I didn't tell you! Now, please, I'll figure this out. Okay? Please. I'll figure this out. Just…sit on a stump somewhere and be quiet…

_(Cut to DAGGETT in a confessional)_

DAGGETT

He thinks I won't do anything to save him. He's just resigned to getting voted out. Well you know what? Now is my time…

* * *

_(Cut to KATZ, relaxing alone in the shelter. DAGGETT hops in beside him, grinning ear-to-ear)_

DAGGETT

Greetings Kitz!

KATZ

Katz…

DAGGETT

Good one! _Good one!_ Hot today, isn't it?

KATZ

In the desert, one would expect. Something to say to me, Daggett?

DAGGETT

That I _do!_ All right kitty cat...how would you say about starting…an alliance? But I'm not talking standard-fare. I'm talking a super-alliance. Like, our names up in big-neon lights in Time Square.

KATZ

It would be pointless. They're voting out your brother.

DAGGETT

Ooh, tough sell, huh? Well okay, what if they were voting out you?

KATZ

They're not.

_(Awkward silence)_

DAGGETT

Well...you're at the bottom of Dot's alliance—

KATZ

Pity.

_(KATZ yawns. He gets up to walk away)_

DAGGETT

Hey, _hey,_ don't you walk away from me! I'm not done!

KATZ

You've given me no substance.

DAGGETT

Well, at least I'm not British!

KATZ

And I'm not a stupid American.

DAGGETT

Ehh…forget it. I'll talk to _Timon._

KATZ

He won't budge. You're on a food chain, Daggett. The only person lower than you right now is your_ brother. _Let's talk business. From my end. What would it take...

DAGGETT

Yes...?

KATZ

For you to vote out your brother?

DAGGETT

_(Mocking him)_

Hah. Hah. Hah. _HAH-HAH!_

KATZ

I'm not joking.

DAGGETT

Right! lose a shot at a million dollars! I vote out Norb!

KATZ

Norbert's already lost his chance. Why not capitalize on it?

DAGGETT

Yeah, shoot me a memo..._Seeya, wouldn't want to be ya!_

KATZ

After your brother goes, they'll come for you—

DAGGETT

_(Blocking him out)_

_LA-LA-LA! Can't heaaaar you…._

* * *

_(CUT to the campfire. DOG, TIMON, WAKKO, and DOT are gathered around, eating the last of the hot dogs from the night before. DAGGETT approaches them with a big smile)_

DAGGETT

Hey guys...what's going on?

_(Awkward silence. Nobody will look at him)_

We got any more marshmallows?

DOT

_You_ finished them…

_(DOT gets up and exits. WAKKO leaves with her, followed by DOG and TIMON)_

DAGGETT

Hey, where are you going? I want to run something by you! GUYS!

* * *

(_Cut to RITA crouched in the shelter. She goes through different backpacks, searching for different canteens. She empties the WATER in the OTHERS' canteens into hers)_

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

Norbert's a goon. He's blind to his own shadow...but right now, intuition's telling me to go on a little Idol hike…

_(Cut to RITA walking through the desert, her canteen around her neck. A montage ensues. In various places, she looks for the Idol: under boulders, in bushes, between cracks in canyons…)_

_(RITA reaches the edge of the pond where NORBERT and she had the fight with DOT earlier. RITA lowers herself down into the water. She takes long dives, scanning the bottom. She brushes her hands against the edge of the pond, searching for anything suspicious...)_

RITA

(After a moment)

Yes...yes...YES! _HALLELUJAH!_

_(From the side of the pond, buried in a hole, RITA pulls out a soaking wet IMMUNITY IDOL)_

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional. She proudly displays her IDOL)_

RITA

Get a close-up, kids. This baby's getting played tonight…

* * *

_(Cut to NORBERT and DAGGETT walking through a cluster of bushes, heading back to CAMP together. RITA hurries up behind them)_

RITA

Guys, guys….!

NORBERT

(Wearily)

Yes? What is it, Rita?

_(RITA smirks and shows them the IDOL)_

NORBERT

Is that…OH MY GOD!

RITA

YEP!

DAGGETT

WE'RE RICH!

NORBERT

(Awed)

All right – well, good on you! _Wow. Wow._

RITA

So...who goes home now?

NORBERT

Who else?

RITA

(Smiling darkly)

Your number one fan…

* * *

_(Cut to DOT at camp searching her CANTEEN for water to wash her face. There's nothing left. Watching her from the side, RITA grins. She takes a long swig of stolen water from her own CANTEEN)._

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

So basically, I have three choices. One...I could go with Norbert and Daggett and vote out Dot by playing the Idol. Two, I could go _against _Norbert and shoot for somebody else...Or three...I could _keep _the Idol for myself and let them vote Norb out…

_(She smiles at the camera)_

So to everyone out there in the "I Hate Rita Club..." I'll do my best to make a terrible mistake for you...

_(Cut to a shot of NORBERT and DAGGETT sitting at the CAMPFIRE. They are laughing together, goofing around. RITA sits on the other side, scowling at them. She takes a swig of her water and purses her lips)_

_(Cut to a shot of the GERTIES gathering their KNAPSACKS. They walk out into the DESERT in a line, heading for TRIBAL COUNCIL. NORBERT leads the way. RITA is all the way in the back, lagging behind the rest of the group)_

_(Cut to RITA in a final confessional. She seems annoyed at the cameraman)_

RITA

I've dealt with a lot, I've seen a lot. I make my _own_ choices here, all right?...

_(She pauses for a moment)_

_Yes,_ I have people saying I should trust them now...but Rita's trust? That's a precious, precious thing to give to someone. If I decide to do something tonight - whether it's for Norbert and Daggett, for me, or _anyone_ else…it's my choice and mine _only._ My gut is always right...and I know Norbert has no concern for my future. And I_ do not _like the fact that he has to babysit his idiot brother...

* * *

_(Cut to TRIBAL COUNCIL that night. The GERTIE TRIBE walks into the center area and take their respective torches. One-by-one, they cross to the fire pit in the center and light them. They sit down together on a long log. NORBERT is the first one called to vote. He stands up, walking down the long, flame-lit corridor to the voting booth)_

RITA

(Whispering to DAGGETT)

_Hey_. Dag-a-lag-a-ding-dong.

DAGGETT

What?

RITA

Vote Katz…

DAGGETT

Huh?

RITA

_Katz…_

DAGGETT

Louder.

RITA

Wait, you didn't hear? _Ugh.._.your brother...he needs to tell you these things. He's always leaving you out of it. Norbert and I just talked. Switch the _votes_. Not Dot tonight. We're voting out _Katz…_

* * *

_(One-by-one, they step into the voting booth…)_

_(Cut to NORBERT in the voting booth)_

NORBERT

Don't spit in my face, sweetie. Kay, thanks. Bye.

_(Cut to WAKKO in the voting booth)_

WAKKO

It's one thing to use me. It's another to use my _sister…._

_(Cut to DOT in the voting booth. She doesn't say anything. She just winks and blows a kiss)_

_(Cut to DOG in the voting booth)_

DOG

Norbert..."that was the most observant thing I've ever heard you say…" Said _nobody!_ Ever! Go home!

_(Cut to TIMON in the voting booth)_

TIMON

Better you than me. Good game, ace. Mighty meerkat, signing out.

_(Cut to RITA in the voting booth)_

RITA

This is "part one" of the plan tonight…crossing my fingers.

_(Cut to DAGGETT in the voting booth. He doesn't say anything. He just furiously writes down "KATZ" almost snapping the pencil in half)_

_(Cut to KATZ in the voting booth)_

KATZ

You're all a bunch of bumbling, bumbling morons...and I take pleasure in knowing I will outlast every single one of you…

_(The final votes have been cast. The GERTIES sit anxiously, waiting for their first tribe mate to be exiled. The HOST enters, holding the URN of VOTES. He takes his place at the podium)_

HOST

Once the votes are read, they are final. The person voted out will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately. If anyone has a hidden immunity idol, now would be the time to play it…

_(RITA rises from the log. The OTHER are shocked, panicked, all except NORBERT who rises with her. NORBERT stands back. He smiles as RITA walks up to the host and hands him her IDOL)_

RITA

I'd like to play this Idol for Norbert…

HOST

This is indeed a hidden immunity idol. All votes for Norbert will not count. Please take a seat…I'll now read the votes…

* * *

**FIRST VOTE**

**NORBERT...doesn't count…**

**SECOND VOTE**

**NORBERT…doesn't count**

**THIRD VOTE**

**NORBERT…doesn't count**

**FOURTH VOTE**

**NORBERT…doesn't count**

**FIFTH VOTE**

**NORBERT…doesn't count**

**SIXTH VOTE**

**KATZ**

**SEVENTH VOTE….**

**DAGGETT**

**EIGHTH VOTE...**

**DOT**

* * *

_(The GERTIES are astounded...but none more than NORBERT and DAGGETT who regard RITA with shock, anger, and disappointment. RITA ignores them, closing her eyes, facing the fire pit at the center)_

NORBERT

Oh my God Rita...you have to be kidding me...

HOST

There is a tie...one vote _Dot,_ one vote_ Daggett,_ one vote _Katz._ We will vote _again._ This time..._Dot,_ _Daggett,_ and _Katz_ will not be allowed to vote. You will only be able to vote for Dot, Daggett, or Katz.

_(Cut to RITA in the voting booth on the revote)_

RITA

...You literally _stopped_ talking to me after Dot freaked out at us, Norbert. Then I come back with an Idol and what, everything's peachy keen again? You expect me to play it on you to save you? You brought this one upon yourself tonight. I could've just sent you home. But you're a dead-man walking. And if I vote you out, they'll come for me next. Time to cut your support system…

_(Cut back to the center of TRIBAL COUNCIL. Once again, the votes are tabulated. The HOST comes out again with the URN to read the VOTES)_

HOST

Take two...

* * *

**FIRST VOTE…**

**DAGGETT**

**SECOND VOTE….**

**RITA (does not count)**

**THIRD VOTE…**

**DAGGETT**

**FOURTH VOTE…****.**

**DAGGETT**

**FIFTH VOTE**

**DAGGETT**

**Second person voted out of Survivor: Animation Brawl…**

**DAGGETT**

* * *

_(Cut to the GERTIES' reactions. RITA still can't bring herself to make eye contact with NORBERT. NORBERT, simply, is lost for words, gawking at his brother's downfall. WAKKO and TIMON look humiliated. DOT glares at RITA, grinding her teeth. KATZ, bemused, savors the chaos)_

_(Cut to DAGGETT rising with his TORCH, swearing under his breath. NORBERT stands up, trying to reach out to him. DAGGETT swats him off, too embarrassed. He crosses to the HOST and jams his torch into the hole in the ground)_

HOST

Daggett...the tribe has spoken.

_(The HOST puts out DAGGETT's torch. DAGGETT storms off down the exit hallway, leaving Tribal Council, banished from the game forever)_

HOST

Well, it just goes to show you...You can develop the most elaborate plan imaginable. You can count on your numbers. You can count on your logic...but you can't count on what's going on in your tribe mate's heads. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp.

* * *

**VOTE TALLY**

**DOT VOTED FOR NORBERT. ON THE REVOTE, ****SHE WAS NOT ALLOWED TO VOTE.**

**WAKKO VOTED FOR NORBERT. ON THE REVOTE, HE VOTED DAGGETT.**

**NORBERT VOTED FOR DOT. ON THE REVOTE, HE VOTED RITA. THIS VOTE**** DID NOT COUNT.**

**DAGGETT VOTED FOR KATZ. ON THE REVOTE, ****HE WAS NOT ALLOWED TO VOTE.**

**RITA VOTED FOR DAGGETT, ON THE REVOTE, SHE VOTED DAGGETT.**

**DOG VOTED FOR NORBERT. ON THE REVOTE, HE VOTED DAGGETT.**

**TIMON VOTED FOR NORBERT. ON THE REVOTE, HE VOTED DAGGETT.**

**KATZ VOTED FOR NORBERT. ON THE REVOTE, ****HE WAS NOT ALLOWED TO VOTE.**


	7. Honor Among Aliens, Part I

_(The GERTIES return to camp, placing their TORCHES against a tree. NORBERT storms off into the desert, not talking to anyone. RITA, hesitant, takes off after him. KATZ and DOG wander off on their own, heading in separate directions. DOT, TIMON, and WAKKO are left alone, sitting at the campfire)_

DOT

Okay, I know that was a little shocking—

WAKKO

Um , Dot...

DOT

_(Ignoring him)_

But still, we're in a good place now…

WAKKO

Dot—

DOT

Like, because now Norbert hates Rita, so-

WAKKO

_Dot—_

DOT

So really there's no reason to be freaking out! I mean, who's freaking out? I'm not. I'm tough. I'm impervious. I'm, like—

_(WAKKO takes his canteen. He dumps all of the water out over DOT's head)_

DOT

Snap out of it!

DOT

My hair! Why would you _do_ that?

WAKKO

We're calm. _You're _the one freaking out...

DOT

Well "big brother" my name was written down tonight. What did you expect? I'm not exactly going to be_ pacified_ here.

TIMON

_(Smiling, stepping in)_

... Hey, listen sweetie, you're safe here. We're—

WAKKO

Timon, family matter. Go away...

TIMON

Suit yourselves...Gosh

_(TIMON walks off, shaking his head)_

WAKKO

Look, you didn't go home tonight. Daggett did—

DOT

I _know..._

WAKKO

So pull it together—

DOT

Yes. Look at me. Have I ever lost control? _Ever?_

WAKKO

Yes, you have. All the time! You and Yakko – you're always so full of yourselves, Dot! You can't just keep being...being...

DOT

Being what? Tell me…

WAKKO

_(Trying to stay calm)_

...I want us to _win. Okay?_ I don't want us to have come out for nothing. So can you please...just promise me…that you won't do anything crazy, or because you're angry, or—

DOT

Ooh, look at you. You're worried about me.

WAKKO

No...I just...I want your word. Anything you do. You'll run it by me first...okay?

DOT

You're fine…

WAKKO

I know but—

DOT

Shhh. Shhh. No words. No babbling. You – are – _fine._

WAKKO

I know. Of course I'm fine. I never said I wasn't.

DOT

You have to stop worrying...

WAKKO

I _know, Dot—_

DOT

_(Trying to brighten the mood)_

...Because if we want to get revenge on Norbert and Rita, we can't do it lying down? Right? C'mon, give me a smile…..

WAKKO

I get it, Dot—

DOT

Uh-uh, no protests, Mister Man! Smile!

_(WAKKO sighs. He smiles a little)_

WAKKO

Are you happy now?

DOT

Bigger. C'mon, _smillllleeeeeee—_

WAKKO

_(Smiling, stretching it so much he can't talk)_

How….is…._this?_

DOT

YAWN! Pretend you're a kid on a milk carton.

WAKKO

Hey Dot.

DOT

What?

_(WAKKO grabs his canteen. He dumps the rest of the water on DOT's head)_

WAKKO

GOT YOU!

_(WAKKO takes off, running away)_

DOT

Oh Wakko Warner, you sneaky, deceitful little – GET BACK HERE!

_(DOT runs off after her brother)_

* * *

_(Cut to the outskirts of camp. For some reason, NORBERT stands on a large log hanging over a trench of mud. He swishes a stick around, minding his own business. RITA crawls out of the bushes. She approaches him with curiosity)_

RITA

Norbert, we're not kindergartners. Let's talk? Please? Like adults…?

NORBERT

Well, one adult to the other – "Je vous défie à un duel." That's French for "I challenge you to a duel."

_(Cut to NORBERT in a confessional)_

NORBERT

She wants to vote out my brother? Fine. Rather than let her prance around camp with her high-and-mighty attitude, I figured I'd teach her a lesson. Scars fade. Humiliation doesn't. I decided to duel her...

_(Cut back to the log hanging over the mud. RITA looks up at NORBERT, confused as all hell)_

RITA

Aren't there better ways to settle this? Like...having a conversation?

NORBERT

Well...I'll tell you what, _Rita._ Right now, I'm standing on this log. I'm more than willing to engage you in a little hand-the-hand combat. If you win, we'll talk about what happened with Daggett. If you lose, which you _will..._I'll ignore you.

RITA

This is so juvenile.

NORBERT

Grab a stick.

RITA

Maybe I'll just vote you off...

NORBERT

(Quietly)

_Diva…_

RITA

(Spinning around)

Excuse me?

NORBERT

_Yes?_

RITA

Throw me a stick...

_(RITA grabs a stick and climbs up onto the log, struggling to balance. She meets NORBERT halfway down the log)_

RITA

Best two out of three?

NORBERT

Nah...one's the charm.

_(RITA and NORBERT start to have a swordfight with the STICKS. Both, surprisingly, hold their ground. RITA is relentlessly, whacking NORBERT with her stick, pushing him to the edge of the log. Quickly however, NORBERT fights back. He gives RITA an uppercut. He works his way back down the log, smashing her stick against hers. Finally, he knocks her stick into the air. It goes flying into the air. Without mercy, NORBERT pushes RITA, sending her falling down into the mud)_

_NORBERT_

Well, that was fun. Talk to me tomorrow...

_(NORBERT hops down from the log, whistling, heading back to camp. RITA sits in the mud, drenched, scowling at him)_

* * *

_(Cut to the NEMO camp, close to midnight..._

_DODGER, CADPIG, and COURAGE stand by the pond. They are playing a game, seeing who can skip rocks across the water. CADPIG is about to throw a rock. DODGER stands close by, offering her pointers)_

DODGER

It's all in the wrist, you see? Make sure it's level with the...

CADPIG

Yeah, yeah, I grew up on a farm. I know how to skip a rock.

_(She throws the rock. It skips seven times across the pond)_

BOOYA! Ten points! You were saying, Dodgey?

DODGER

I stand corrected…

CADPIG

_(Handing COURAGE a rock)_

Your turn, short-stop…

DODGER

_(Smiling at CADPIG)_

So what's up, Courage? Is this a date? Am I playing third wheel here?

COURAGE

Hey, I don't_ like_ Cadpig—

CADPIG

What?

COURAGE

I mean, I don't _like-like_ Cadpig... Oh, you know what I meant—

CADPIG

I'm just joking, dude.

DODGER

Aw, puppy love!

COURAGE

Um Dodger...when this is on TV, my owners_ are_ going to be watching. So can you not...like...suggest things?

CADPIG

_(Stepping in for COURAGE)_

Yeah, what if we started spreading lies that you were hooking up with Marvin?

DODGER

Okay, one: I have a girlfriend...and two, how could I have an affair with Marvin? Zim's gotten to him first.

COURAGE

But I'd appreciate it if—

DODGER

_(Throwing COURAGE into a headlock)_

_Shh._ Your hormones are safe with me...

CADPIG

_(Sarcastically)_

Oh you crack us up, Dodger! You crack - us - up! ...

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

Yeah, yeah, they're good kids. I mean, if they weren't, I wouldn't have aligned with them. I'm just enjoying this, man...out of the city, looking at the stars, safe from Tribal. This is great stuff...

_(Cut to COURAGE in a confessional)_

COURAGE

We're all in an alliance right now. Like, a dog alliance, I guess. It's weird. But if we're faced with the choice...Cadpig and I would have no problem sending Dodger home…

* * *

_(Cut back to the pond. COURAGE, CADPIG, and DODGER continue to skip rocks, chatting casually. They are unaware, in the bushes, that ZIM is spying on them)_

_(Cut to ZIM in a confessional)_

ZIM

There comes a time where every warrior is tired of being stepped on. I've been ridiculed. Subjugated by Marvin. Treated like nothing. With this, they can bow out with honor...or, if they're feeling festive, they can torture their prey, disembowel them, and then perform experiments on their spleens...Do you hear me, Nemo Tribe? Tomorrow. Your judgement will come...

* * *

_(Cut to the challenge the next morning. Two large posts are set up, one white and one black. They resemble massive pull-up bars. There are a rope and a harness dangling from each bar. The HOST stands on his usual mat as the NEMO TRIBE enters, taking their place on the WHITE MAT)_

HOST

Come in, guys!

_(The GERTIE TRIBE enters, taking their place on their BLACK MAT)_

HOST

Nemo, getting your first look at the new Gertie tribe: Daggett, voted off last night at Tribal Council. Ready to get to today's immunity challenge...?

_(Everyone nods. Some people clap their hands, ready for action)_

For today's challenge, your lightest tribe member will be suspended in the air with a rope and pulley system. Your strongest member will hold the rope. The first tribe to have their contestants feet touch the ground will lose the challenge. Gertie, who is your strongest?

NORBERT

That would be Katz...

HOST

Katz, take a spot over here. And your lightweight?

RITA

Me.

HOST

Rita, heading skyward...and Nemo?

CAT

Dodger for strongest. Cadpig for lightest...

HOST

Then let the games begin…

* * *

_(Cut to the GROUPS diverting, getting ready for the CHALLENGE. The NEMO TRIBE is in a deep huddle, discussing strategy. As they speak, ZIM inches away from the group. He makes sure nobody is watching. Crossing over to the NEMOS' rope, ZIM pulls a LIGHTER out of his sleeve. He burns his OWN TRIBE's rope a little, weakening the threads._

_(Over on GERTIE, DOG squints over at ZIM. He is the only one who notices, but ZIM finishes before he can figure it out)_

_(ZIM hurries back to the group, a big smile on his face)_

* * *

_(Cut to the challenge, several minutes later. CADPIG and RITA are both locked in harnesses, hanging from the different posts. The ROPES from their harnesses run out of a pulley system, connecting down to DODGER and KATZ. It is the beginning of the challenge, and neither are struggling much at this point._

_DOG glances up at the NEMOS' ROPE. He stares at the THREADS holding CADPIG, watching them slowly unravel. Everyone else, focused on the challenge, is unaware. He growls at ZIM._

_DODGER is starting to struggle. He slips a little. CADPIG edges closer to the ground. She tucks up her feet, trying to keep them in the air. On the GERTIE side, KATZ slips a little as well. RITA tucks up her feet, trying not to touch the ground._

_Quickly, KATZ manages to pull RITA back up into the air. He winks at DODGER._

_In his hands, nervously, ZIM is fumbling with his LIGHTER. DOG notices. He turns to the OTHER GERTIES, but they're all too focused on the CHALLENGE, yelling out encouragement to KATZ._

_DOG abandons his TEAM. He crosses the line, heading toward the NEMOS– most particularly, ZIM)_

_CAT_

_(Noticing)_

Um – Dog – what are you doing?

_(ZIM sees DOG coming for him and panics. He tries to hide the LIGHTER. MARVIN, seeing what's about to happen, is quick to cover him. He reaches into ZIM's hands, snagging the LIGHTER for himself. He slips it into his pockets. Nobody notices)_

_(Seeing DOG storming toward him, ZIM puts up a fist. At first instinct, DOG does as well – and he socks ZIM right in the face. ZIM punches DOG back. They get into a physical fight, tearing at each other in the dirt)_

HOST

TIME-OUT! TIME-OUT! Physical contact…

_(CADPIG and RITA are dropped to the ground. The TWO TRIBES rush over to DOG and ZIM, struggling to break them up. CAT, SONIC, COURAGE, and CADPIG pull away ZIM. DOT, WAKKO, and TIMON pull away DOG)_

CAT

Dog, stop, stop! _Please—_

_ZIM_

He struck first! I did nothing! Send him home—

CADPIG

Oh, shut up, Zim—

WAKKO

(Restraining)

Dog, calm down, buddy. Calm down, it's just a game—

HOST

What's going on here? What happened?

ZIM

...It seems that, for no reason, Dog interprets my behavior as volatile. I don't know why. And given the dehydration I suppose, as well as the starvation and whatnot, well...he decided to attack me in cold blood.

HOST

Dog, is this _true?_

DOG

He was cheating. He had a lighter. He burned his own rope before the challenge. He was trying to rig it so they would lose.

CAT

It's my team, Dog. My team. You're playing for your _own_ team!

MARVIN

Let me attest Sir, I was watching Zim carefully...and nowhere, at any time, did he come near the rope.

KATZ

I can also attest.

_(KATZ winks at MARVIN. ZIM smiles at both of them)_

HOST

All right...so let's backtrack. The rules of Survivor state that if a contestant initiates physical contact, they are disqualified from the game. Who swung the first punch? Dog? Zim?

DOG

Me….

(He starts to cry)

CAT

Crap….

HOST

Cat...this is your _brother._ Up until a week ago, you two were physically attached to one another. You seem, for the lack of a better word, unmoved.

CAT

_(Quickly)_

Well, who are _you_ to say I'm unmoved, Sir? I don't know what I'm feeling right now. This is...oh, this is a mess! Why'd you have to do that, Dog? Why?

DOG

I'm sorry, Cat….please….

CADPIG

(Stepping forward)

I think we should search Zim for the lighter.

ZIM

You're ridiculous.

HOST

Not a bad idea. All right, search Zim for the lighter…

_(The CAMERA CREW enters and searches ZIM for the lighter, checking his pockets)_

MARVIN

. He did not go anywhere near that rope….

CAMERAMAN

He's clean.

DOG

Look...I promise...if you let me stay in the game, I'll play by the rules. I'll…I'll work really hard. I won't hurt anyone…

CAT

(Looking away)

It's fine. It doesn't matter. Send him home.

DOG

_Cat!?_

HOST

Cat, are you saying you're in favor of sending your brother home-?

CAT

_(Struggling)_

Well, there are _rules_ in this game, and they need to be followed, and when they're not, they put everyone else in a very difficult position. So...yes, I'm in favor of sending Dog home. He broke the rules. He should be punished...

SONIC

Are you_ kidding_ me?

CADPIG

_(Lost for words)_

He's your brother, you...you—

CAT

_(Trying to comfort DOG)_

I mean, it's not like I have a choice here. All right, buddy? Just...uh...wipe your feet on the mat when you come home. And don't track any mud in the parlor. I guess...maybe we both shouldn't have come out here…

_(DOG stops crying. His tears subside. He glares at CAT)_

HOST

All right, here's what's going to happen. Dog is _disqualified_ from this game...for initiating physical contact. Because Cadpig was hanging lower than Rita at the time the game ended, Nemo has officially lost this challenge. They will be going to Tribal Council tonight, where the fourth contestant of this game will be voted out. That means in one episode, we are losing two contestants. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp…

_(DOG is escorted away by PRODUCTION. _

_CAT can barely look at him. He covers his face, aware the OTHERS – especially CADPIG – are disgusted._

_Gathering their things, the TWO TRIBES begin to walk away from the CHALLENGE. On the way out, with nobody else noticing, ZIM gives MARVIN a thumbs-up. He returns it. MARVIN slyly passes the LIGHTER back to ZIM)_

_(Cut to ZIM in a confessional. He holds the LIGHTER, flicking it on)_

ZIM

Look out, Nemo Tribe. Now, I'm on _fire…_

* * *

**THIRD PERSON ELIMINATED FROM SURVIVOR: ANIMATION BRAWL….**

**_(DISQUALIFIED FOR INITIATING PHYSICAL CONTACT)_**

**DOG**


	8. Honor Among Aliens, Part II

_(Cut to the NEMO CAMP, several hours later. CAT sits on a high cliff on the outskirts of CAMP. The CAMERA approaches him, trying not to get too close. _

_As we zoom in, we see CAT is crying. With his hand, he rubs something near his ribcage: the scar marking the separation of him and DOG._

_Suddenly, Spinning around, CAT notices the CAMERA. He glares, wiping his tears)_

CAT

_Hey._ Rule 14: Respect the contestants' privacy. Buzz off!

_(CAT storms off)_

* * *

_(Cut to ZIM in a confessional)_

ZIM

First…I succeeded in making our team lose the challenge. Now...I go after the weakest links. Tonight, whoever I wish will go home on a stretcher.

_(On the outskirts of camp, ZIM and SONIC are chopping branches in the desert for firewood. They've taken a break and have been fighting with sticks. ZIM has the upper hand, but SONIC seems to be going easy on him)_

_ZIM_

_(Jabbing the stick)_

UPPERCUT!

_SONIC_

_(Smiling, hopping away)_

Oh God._ Save me._

_ZIM_

No one can save you. _Nobody._

SONIC

But wait – Change of tactic!

_(SONIC bends down, trying to trip ZIM by hitting his feet with the STICK. ZIM hops over the blow. He hits SONIC in the chest. Dramatically, SONIC falls to the ground)_

ZIM

VICTORY IS ZIM'S!

_(ZIM chucks the STICK into the air in celebration. SONIC smiles, raising his eyebrow)_

_SONIC_

What's that, some kind of rain dance?

_ZIM_

We're in the desert, idiot! There's no rain for miles! Plus the sun's still out. I'm not tired yet.

_(He picks up his "sword" again)_

Round two. Let's go!

SONIC

(Yawning)

Let's just say you won?

ZIM

I _did _win. We're not "saying" it. It's a statement of fact.

SONIC

That's what I said...

ZIM

So _say_ it... "Zim you won".

SONIC

"Zim, you won... "

ZIM

"Zim, you're easily the most underestimated member of this tribe...and if it weren't for you, the Nemos would be like a bunch of protists on a meteor deprived of algae... "

SONIC

Um...what?

ZIM

_Say it..._

SONIC

Well, seeing we're both here...you want to talk, y'know... game?

ZIM

You should've asked me sooner.

SONIC

No better time than now!

ZIM

...Hmm...okay, well, what about voting? What are you thinking?

SONIC

All right...Well, let me ask...where do you think you stand in this tribe right now?

ZIM

Why do you ask….?

SONIC

(Laughing)

No reason, no reason...but y'know, at the vote first round, you voted for Courage...But...did Courage go home?

ZIM

I'm waiting for your point...

SONIC

_(Putting a hand on ZIM's shoulders)_

All right. Well, here it is... instead of, y'know, playing with the_ bad guys, _how about a change of pace? Y'know, rolling with the heroes? Me, Courage, Cadpig, and Dodger. We take out, uh, Cat or Marvin tonight, how does that sound? Your choice.

_(SONIC sticks out a HAND, grinning ear-to-ear)_

ZIM

Well, hang on, hang on... What if I don't _want_ Marvin or Cat gone?

SONIC

Well...what other choice do you—

ZIM

_Choice?_ You're telling me right now to vote for two people who I've allied with. Why should I side with _you?_

_(Silence. SONIC is lost for words. He didn't see this coming)_

SONIC

Because...well, you're on the bad side-

ZIM

_No...?_

SONIC

Well, I-

ZIM

Yes? Yes?

_(Uncomfortable silence. SONIC searches for words)_

SONIC

Look, I could just tell the others to vote for you. I mean, I'm trying to include you. I know you've kind of been, like, a black sheep around here. So I figured, y'know, if you wanted some people to vibe with—

ZIM

I've been trained to destroy planets and civilizations at the drop of a hat. I am_ not_ a good guy.

SONIC

Fine.

ZIM

_Okay._

SONIC

Okay! Well...no fur off my bones...

ZIM

(Smiling)

But don't worry. I'll tell Marvin and Cat…

* * *

_(Cut to the nearby POND, sometime later. MARVIN and CAT are sitting on the shoreline, looking out at the WATER. CAT is no longer crying)_

MARVIN

So you shouldn't be upset about it...

CAT

I'm _not._

MARVIN

Okay Cat, but—

CAT

_(Forcing a smile)_

Do you see any tears? I'm better now. Really. He bounces back. You've seen him. He's sprightly. Full of life. In fact, I bet he's enjoying a vacation right now. And he's not angry at me at all. What's up? What are we planning tonight...?

(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)

MARVIN

...Obviously, Cat was shaken up by what happened to Dog. As unfortunate as it was, he _can't_ let it distract him. I had to bring him back to reality. I _have_ an Idol now...but I don't want to _waste_ it before the tribes merge. So, if we can't get Sonic back, and Cadpig and the others won't budge, the most we can do is convince one of _them_ to vote out _Sonic..._

_(Cut back to MARVIN and CAT)_

MARVIN

But I just need to make sure you're _with_ me—

CAT

No, no, what's the plan, Marv? Tell me. I'm ready...

MARVIN

Right now, were outnumbered four to_ three._ There's no way to work over Sonic. He's an_ idiot._..so here's what we do. If we can't break up the dogs...then we have to convince one of Courage, Cadpig, or Dodger to_ vote out_ Sonic...

CAT

All right, well...try Courage. He's a wet blanket. Like most dogs are. I mean, not my Dog. Dog-Dog, I mean—

(He forces an awkward laugh)

He wasn't that mad at me, right?

_(ZIM walks up behind them, a giant smile on his face)_

ZIM

Greetings jelly-men!

MARVIN

(Quietly, annoyed)

It's "gentlemen…"

CAT

Hey Zim...so we're voting out Sonic, all right?

MARVIN

You really think he'd take the bait?

CAT

Have you seen how Cadpig flirts with him? He's easier to lead than a sheep.

ZIM

(Trying to get their attention)

Oh, but wait, wait, I have an idea. A human-idea. For your human-vote—

MARVIN

(Ignoring ZIM)

Okay, but you said it, Cat: she's flirting with him. Are you implying—

CAT

No, Marvin! We're not going to flirt with him! God! We're just going to assess his options with him—

MARVIN

Well, I think there's a difference though. I'm just saying. It's easier for Cadpig to manipulate him, as a girl – who he's clearly – infatuated with – then it is for us—

CAT

Marvin, girls aren't another species. It's the same thing!

ZIM

_(Jumping to be heard)_

GUYS!

MARVIN

WHAT?

ZIM

Cadpig! We should take out Cadpig! What if we convince _Dodger_ to vote _with us_ to vote out _Cadpig?_ That way, Courage won't have anyone left. We'll use Dodger for challenges. We'll be unstoppable.

MARVIN

_(After a moment)_

Do you recall what Dodger did to us last round...?

ZIM

_Yes. _But now's our chance to demoralize him. _Weaken _him.

MARVIN

_No._

ZIM

But—

MARVIN

No, no, a million times no. This isn't just _your _game. That is a terrible idea, Zim, and if you do it, I will have no reservations about voting you out next...

_(ZIM steps forward, getting in MARVIN's face. He doesn't back down)_

CAT

Whoa guys, we're all…friends here. I mean, sort of….

_(ZIM locks him the eyes. MARVIN doesn't flinch. After a moment, ZIM smiles and backs down)_

ZIM

_(Stepping back)_

Fine. I'm just a pawn here. Make your plan. Your iddly-diddly little plan..

MARVIN.

My plan is _not_ iddly-diddly...

ZIM

(Rolling his eyes)

Yes, yes, whatever. I'll vote for _Sonic._ _Okay._ Fine. You win...

MARVIN

Listen to me Zim...if you try anything tonight—

ZIM

Marvin please...there's honor among aliens...

_(ZIM struts away whistling. MARVIN and CAT watch, concerned and frustrated)_

* * *

_(Cut to ZIM creeping through the WOODS. He ducks under bushes and into shadows, trying not to be seen…._

_Eventually, he approaches one of the TRUCKS near the PRODUCTION CAMP: the area of the DESERT where the show's PRODUCTION CREW operates. In the back of the TRUCK, there is a large carton of kerosene oil. _

_ZIM dashes out from hiding. He grabs the oil carton, dragging it to the ground. Then he takes off, running through the forest. _

_Cut to ZIM standing behind the NEMO shelter. He flicks open the nozzle of the CARTON, spraying GASOLINE all over the shelter)_

ZIM

They use me. Overpower me. Abuse me. This will show them. I deserve gratitude...

* * *

_(Cut to the center of camp, later that afternoon._

_ZIM and CADPIG are the only ones at the CAMPSITE. Everyone else is either off strategizing, collecting firewood, or rinsing off in the pond. CADPIG lounges in the shelter, minding her business._

_ZIM tends to the fire, feeding it branches. Every so often, he steals a glance at CADPIG._ _Finally, he turns around to face her. He coughs, clearing his throat)_

ZIM

Cadpig, could you watch the fire? I want to go rinse off in the pond…

CADPIG

(Brightly)

Sure. I've got you covered, homey!

ZIM

(Awkwardly)

Ummm yeah...thanks_..."homey"_

_(ZIM dashes off behind the SHELTER. CADPIG yawns and gets up, crossing over to watch the CAMPFIRE._

_Cut to ZIM standing behind the shelter._

_Reaching into his pocket, ZIM pulls out his LIGHTER – the same one that he used on his own team's rope during the challenge earlier._

_Spinning the LIGHTER, ZIM uses it to set his own TRIBE's SHELTER on FIRE._

_The flames catch. They lick the wood. The fire eats its way up the branches, torching the shelter like a barbeque. ZIM dashes off into the WOODS, hiding from the CARNAGE. He vanishes into the shadows)_

* * *

_(Cut to CADPIG sitting by the FIRE._

_She smells something: something much heavier than the scent of the burning wood in front of her. Spinning around, CADPIG sees the WHOLE SHELTER is going up in FLAMES. She screams)_

_CADPIG_

_GUYS! GUYS! COME HERE! QUICK!_

_(CADPIG dashes around the CAMP. She gathers CANTEENS together, preparing to dump the WATER on the FLAMES. _

_DODGER and COURAGE run in from the DESERT, both holding armfuls of FIREWOOD. At the sight of the SHELTER, they drop everything)_

_COURAGE_

Cadpig, what happened?

CADPIG

Don't just stand there!

_(CADPIG, DODGER, and COURAGE bumble around the CAMPSITE. They empty WATER from their CANTEENS, dumping it into the FIRE. Coming in from the DESERT, SONIC, MARVIN, and CAT rush into the scene)_

CAT

WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO?

COURAGE

(Dumping out his canteen)

Oh, sure! Just like a cat! Blaming the _dogs!_

DODGER

Guys, this isn't working! We need water! Lots of water! Go out to the well! Bring some back!

_(SONIC and MARVIN run out of the scene, following DODGER's orders. MARVIN, in particular, is gone before DODGER is even finished speaking. CAT paces around, panicked as the OTHERS dump their CANTEENS)_

_CAT_

_(Mumbling)_

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh….

* * *

_(Cut to about twenty minutes later._

_The FIRE has been put out, but the SHELTER is in complete RUIN: nothing but a bunch of splintered wood with the faint reminder of a foundation. The entire campsite now is full of smoke. MARVIN, DODGER, CADPIG, COURAGE, SONIC, ZIM, and CAT stand in front of their SHELTER, mourning its loss. _

_For a while, they're silent. Finally, somebody speaks)_

ZIM

Such a shame. All that hard work. Reduced to ashes. Oh well. This will initiate...some human-bonding, I think. Yes. We'll all work together to build a new one. Who's with me?

_CADPIG_

How did that happen though?

SONIC

It's California. It was too dry. Maybe it just caught fire?

ZIM

Wait. What's _this?_

_(ZIM reaches to the ground beside CADPIG. He picks up his LIGHTER, placed conveniently on the ground beside her)_

ZIM

Cadpig...is this...why, this is a _lighter..._

_COURAGE_

(Snatching it away)

Let me see that...

ZIM

Just like at the challenge. Does that mean...could that mean—

MARVIN

(Exasperated)

Oh please. I know where this is going—

ZIM

(Excited)

Wasn't she, Marvin? Huh? I mean, correct me if I'm wrong but everything adds up here. She's mean-spirited. She's volatile. She cares only for herself. I say, according to Earthling conduct – the morals that you all have – we should quickly and efficiently vote her out of the—

MARVIN

Zim, _you_ started this fire...

(Silence)

ZIM

Ehhhh...what?

MARVIN

(Slowly)

You burned this shelter. Before you left, you coated the shelter in gasoline. Then you used the lighter to start a fire.

ZIM

Marvin, what could I _gain _from that?

MARVIN

Nothing. You're an idiot.

_(He yawns)_

Good night everyone. Tonight, I'm going to climb a very high tree and go to sleep._..alone…_ As they say on Earth..."Adios."

_(MARVIN walks off into the desert, shaking his head. The OTHERS stare coldly at ZIM)_

SONIC

_(Trying to be patient)_

Zim, did you really light our shelter on fire? Cause, like that's really not cool, dude...

_(ZIM seems to have gone into shock. He watches MARVIN leave in disbelief. His eyes are vacant. His mouth hangs open, shocked at the betrayal)_

SONIC

Uhhh...Zim?

_(SONIC places a hand on ZIM's shoulder. Suddenly, at the top of his lungs, ZIM screams like crazy._

_He waves his hands like a MANIAC. He paces around the CIRCLE, making strange hand motions. He grabs at some people, lost for what to do. _

_Then he takes off into the DESERT, shrieking at the top of his lungs. _

_The OTHERS can just stare._

_Words can't suffice)_

CAT

_(Finally speaking)_

Y'know, I _was _going to talk to you guys about tonight...but...do you guys just want to just vote out Zim?

CADPIG

Y'know Cat, that's I think that's a good idea. C'mon guys, we've got rebuilding to do…

COURAGE

(Watching as ZIM runs away)

Y'know, maybe someone should talk to—

CADPIG

No. He's cuckoo. C'mon, help me air out the shelter. We can keep the foundation...

_(CAT, COURAGE, CADPIG, DODGER, and SONIC set to work on rebuilding their SHELTER. Behind them, the SUN starts to set on the DESERT)_

* * *

_(Cut to TRIBAL COUNCIL later that night._

_The NEMOS make their way into the SEATING AREA, each one holding a TORCH. They take a seat on the BENCH. The only NEMO missing, for whatever reason, is ZIM. The HOST enters from his DOORWAY, taking his usual spot. He looks disgruntled and tired)_

HOST

We now bring in your friend _Zim._..who after burning the shelter, went on a rampage in the woods. He boarded one of our production trucks and needed to be tranquilized...

_(TWO MEN In WHITE COATS bring in ZIM on a STRETCHER._

_He wears a STRAIGHTJACKET and is humming to himself, lost in a daze. Every so often, he giggles)_

HOST

Well, I think I know how this is going to go...but are you ready to vote?

* * *

_(Cut to the VOTING BOOTH. One-by-one, the NEMOS enter to vote)_

_(Cut to CADPIG in the voting booth)_

CADPIG

This is not strategic. This is _personal._ You are a psycho. Please get help...

_(Cut to COURAGE in a confessional)_

COURAGE

Even if Zim didn't go, um, psycho..I know where I stand now. There's no turning back. Dogs for life. I guess...

_(Cut to SONIC in a confessional)_

SONIC

Yeah...I don't know if there's any on your planet, but on Earth, we have a bunch of really good mental institutions. For your own good, could you please, like, pay one a visit... please? I'm sorry. Um yeah...good game I guess. Team Sonic out...

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

When you're done playing with matches, go back to your planet...

_(Cut to CAT in a confessional)_

CAT

We had it easy this round. You're all _lucky._

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

You are stupid, stupid, _stupid._ I helped you sabotage the challenge today because I wanted to help you...but you are unstable, selfish, and _psychotic. _You've expended your usefulness to me. _Goodbye._

_(Cut to ZIM in a confessional. He doesn't say anything. He just laughs, scrawling somebody's name on the paper with malicious glee)_

* * *

_(Cut back to the main voting area._

_The HOST enters with the JAR of VOTES)_

HOST

If anyone has a hidden immunity idol and wants to play it, now would be the time to do so…

_(Nobody rises)_

I'll read the votes….

* * *

**FIRST VOTE….**

**MARVIN**

**SECOND VOTE…**

**ZIM**

**THIRD VOTE…**

**ZIM**

**FOURTH VOTE…**

**ZIM**

**FIFTH VOTE….**

**ZIM**

**SIXTH VOTE…**

**ZIM**

**SEVENTH VOTE…**

**ZIM**

**FOURTH PERSON VOTED OUT OF SURVIVOR: ANIMATION BRAWL…**

**ZIM**

* * *

_(Cut to the NEMOS' reaction. Absolutely nobody is surprised – just relieved as the TWO MEN in WHITE COATS pull ZIM away on the STRETCHER. He screams out obscenities in an alien language, cursing his OLD TRIBE as he's carried down the HALLWAY)_

HOST

Next time, can we please have an actual vote? Like, with conflict? Drama? This is television, guys. Let's make it entertaining. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp...

CADPIG

_(Turning to CAT before they leave)_

Y'know, differences aside Cat...I am glad none of us went home. And if, like, you're depressed about Dog, you can talk to me. I read psychology textbooks...

CAT

_(Yawning)_

_Cute. _Well...hopefully before next Tribal when you vote me out...

* * *

_(Cut back to the NEMO camp, late at night. CADPIG, COURAGE, and SONIC are gathered around the fire, munching on some leftovers from winning the second challenge: shish kabobs of peppers, steak, and chicken. SONIC is in the middle of telling some kind of GHOST STORY. CADPIG is at the edge of her seat. COURAGE is , meanwhile, is asleep in the RUINED SHELTER alone._

_On the other side of CAMP, MARVIN is gathering his BLANKET, CANTEEN, and CHANGE of CLOTHES, preparing to leave and sleep in the woods for the , apprehensive, watches him from the side)_

DODGER

Y'know, we're just having a cookout over there….

MARVIN

I said I'm sleeping alone tonight. I intend on doing so…

DONNER

Is that going to become a habit?

MARVIN

Good night, Dodger.

_(MARVIN shoves his blanket over his shoulder. He starts walking away)_

DODGER

You're not making any friends here…

MARVIN

I didn't _come here_ to make friends. I came here to win. The sooner you learn that, the longer you'll last. Once again Dodger, I bid you good night…

_(MARVIN walks off into the DESERT. DODGER shakes his head sadly. He crosses back to the OTHERS around the CAMPFIRE. SONIC is almost done with his story)_

SONIC

...And when they finally pulled the girl's body from the twisted, burning car wreck...it looked like..._THIS!_

_(SONIC makes a SCARY FACE. COURAGE screams, shielding his face. He topples off the log, falling flat on his back. _

_CADPIG, SONIC, and DODGER make eye contact. They break down laughing)_

* * *

_(Cut to SOMEWHERE IN THE DESERT, much later that night. MARVIN has made a small shelter in a THICKET OF BUSHES. He's huddled up with his BLANKET, shivering in the COLD. For whatever reason, MARVIN can't sleep. He keeps turning from side-to-side, trying to find a good position. Same result. Finally, he sits up, unable to take it… _

_MARVIN rubs his face, yawning, staring up at the night sky. There is a FULL MOON. Stars are scattered above the DESERT, stretching out across California. MARVIN stares up at the sky, wincing a little. He looks out at OUTER SPACE)_

_MARVIN_

_(Talking to himself)_

_Mars. Home..._

_(Silence. He grits his teeth, thinking about something…)_

A million dollars. A million dollars. Then...you can go back home…

_(MARVIN lays down in the bushes, struggling to go to sleep. He shivers in the COLD)_

* * *

_(Cut back to the NEMO CAMP, much later at night, almost morning. SONIC, CADPIG, COURAGE, and CAT are asleep in the SHELTER. DODGER is the only one awake, sitting at the edge of the SHELTER, staring up at the STARS. From the DESERT, MARVIN's shadow reenters the CAMP. He throws his SUPPLIES onto the ground. DODGER watches him from inside the SHELTER. _

_MARVIN is unaware that DODGER sees him…_

_For a second, MARVIN stares back at the SHELTER. He seems to consider going inside with the OTHERS..._

_Then he sits down by himself on one of the LOGS. MARVIN hugs himself, alone by choice, still staring up at MOON._

_From inside the SHELTER, watching this all unfold, DODGER just smiles. He leans into sleeping CADPIG for warmth. _

_Then he closes his eyes, dozing off as well)_

* * *

A/N: Every season of Survivor usually has a maniacally over-the-top pre-merge boot. Survivor: San Juan Del Sur had Drew Christy. Survivor: Cagayan had J'Tia. Well, if I was going to write a season with cartoon characters - which are over-the-top in nature - I couldn't resist the urge to have a control freak episode. Some boots in Survivor are meant to be emotional. Others are meant to be deserving. Others are just meant to be insane, where you're just left to gawk at the sheer inanity that's happening in front of you. Zim definitley fell into the latter category. Even with his craziness, I like to think he got a fair amount of development. When Marvin stepped on his pride, and he felt the others were conspiring against him, Zim went bananas and went into psycho mode. Was it worth an episode? Well...that's for you to decide - but after two boots that were heavy in strategy, I wanted a transition chapter of sorts that, oddly enough given the subject matter, was sort of a moment to breathe. That sounds especially weird, given Zim's exit and all, but this chapter was sort of a moment to step out of the game for a second and remind you that we're dealing with real people - not just numbers on a chessboard making moves.

Dog served sort of a similar purpose to Zim, but he existed more on the opposite side of the coin. I was really interested in taking this kooky, zany, over-the-top character - this epitome of Nickelodeon shows basically - and having something really jarring and unsettling happen to them. I just wanted to experiment with that contrast and see what effect it had. I intended it to sort of be a reinforcement that anybody can leave at any time, and absolutely _nobody_ is safe. Cat's decision in this chapter - volunteering his brother to be sent home - was definitely a defining moment that made a lot of other contestants angry at him. We'll have to see where it takes him...


	9. A Lamb For The Slaughter, Part I

_(Cut to the GERTIE TRIBE scattered around their CAMPSITE, late at night. _

_NORBERT is feeding leaves into the fire, minding his own business. The OTHERS are still giving him the silent treatment. RITA is sprawled out in the SHELTER, fast asleep. _

_DOT, WAKKO, and TIMON sit side-by-side on the LOGS. WAKKO fumbles with twigs in his hand, snapping them into pieces. He looks upset. KATZ sits on the opposite LOG from them, keeping his distance. He just stares into the fire)_

TIMON

_(Breaking the silence)_

So...who gets Dog's portion of our food?

_(No response. DOT glares at him)_

It was just a joke. _Geez…_

_DOT_

Well, it wasn't funny...

_ (WAKKO snaps the twig in half. He throws it into the fire. DOT looks at him in concern)_

DOT

Wakko—

WAKKO

_Yes?_

_DOT_

Are you okay?

_WAKKO_

_I'm fine._

DOT

Your anger's showing again.

WAKKO

Okay.

_(More silence)_

DOT

Wakko.

WAKKO

_What?_

DOT

I said - your anger's showing.

_(No response. WAKKO snaps other twig)_

Can you please talk to me?

WAKKO

It's nothing, Dot.

DOT

_(Annoyed)_

I know when you're upset.

WAKKO

Don't bother.

DOT

Is it about Dog?

WAKKO

It's fine. Dot. Honestly, forget it-

DOT

_(Cutting him off)_

But I can help-

_(DOT puts her hand on WAKKO's shoulder. WAKKO shoves her off)_

WAKKO

_(Loudly)_

It's fine, okay? I don't know! Maybe I'm _angry..._because my best friend in this game was just cheated out of it, and it's_ hot_, and I'm hungry, and I'm sorry but...I don't know, but _that's_ what I'm feeling.

(DOT looks shocked. Pause)

..._Ugh_...never mind.

DOT

Okaaaay...

_(Pause)_

I've...I've never seen you that way...

WAKKO

What way?

DOT

...When you were talking there...you seemed...different_. _I don't know...

WAKKO

(Hopeful)

Did...did I remind you of Yakko?

DOT

_(Laughing a little)_

A little. Well, yeah, you did.

_WAKKO_

_(Excited)_

_Really?_

_DOT_

_(Turning to TIMON)_

Hey Timon, what'd you say about Dog's food?

TIMON

(Annoyed)

It was a joke.

DOT

I'm not yelling. I'm _asking-_

TIMON

I asked "what we were going to do with it...?"

DOT

_(Rising)_

Right! Okay everyone, everyone, can I have your attention please? Katz? _Norbert…?_

_(EVERYONE turns)_

For helping us win the challenge today, I'd like to award my brother – Wakko Warner, King of the Gerties – an extra helping…

_(She crosses to the campfire, taking the bag of RICE._

She hands WAKKO a spoonful)

"BON APETIT!"

NORBERT

_(Feeding leaves in the fire, not looking at them)_

Go right ahead…

WAKKO

_(Trying to give the rice back)_

No Dot. C'mon— I don't want to waste this.

DOT

_Eat it._

TIMON

Yeah kid, you need your protein. Dog's brother – _Cat?_ We're going to kick his ass tomorrow!

DOT

_(A little hurt)_

I mean…you don't HAVE to...

WAKKO

_(Taking it back from his sister)_

No, no! Bottom's up!

_(WAKKO gulps down the RICE in one bite. He opens his mouth, hanging out his tongue, showing it's gone. TIMON and DOT applaud. KATZ claps as well, slow and robotic. NORBERT rolls his eyes. He gives them a thumbs-up)_

NORBERT

Yay, WASTING FOOD! Keeping it classy, guys!

* * *

_(Cut to the CHALLENGE the following morning. A long plank has been constructed, stretching across a river in Death Valley. The rapids beneath it rumble with water. One side of the plank is BLACK. The other is WHITE. The GERTIE TRIBE – NORBERT, DOT, WAKKO, TIMON, RITA, and KATZ - enters from the WOODS, crossing over to their respective BLACK MAT in front of the HOST. He stands in his usual spot, smiling at them)_

HOST

Come on in guys!

_(The NEMOS – CADPIG, COURAGE, DODGER, MARVIN, CAT, and SONIC – enter, taking their spot on their WHITE MAT)_

HOST

_Gertie._..getting your first look at the new _Nemo_ Tribe. Zim...voted out last night at Tribal Council. All right guys...you've been out here awhile now. Almost two weeks. Long enough for bonds to form...and at the same time, long enough for those bonds to be broken. Sonic, over there on Nemo – do you feel like you have friends to rely on out here?

SONIC

_(Swinging COURAGE into a headlock)_

I _love_ these guys. They're my second family.

HOST

Marvin...you seem somewhat left out of this "family."

SONIC

Hey, don't trash on Marvin. He's the weird cousin here! Whatever! Come here, _Marv!_

_(SONIC throws MARVIN into a hug. Without a choice, MARVIN allows it)_

MARVIN

(Forcing a smile)

_Oh Sonic…._

(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)

MARVIN

He _hugged_ me. Remind me to throw out this outfit…actually, remind me to burn it.

_(Cut back to the shore of the river. The TWO TRIBES stand on their respective MATS, ready to start the CHALLENGE)_

HOST

All right...well, here's where things get interesting. Everyone drop your buffs. We are now swapping tribes.

_(Cut to the CONTESTANTS' reactions. Some, like NORBERT and RITA, are ecstatic to be off their TRIBES. CADPIG jumps in excitement, hugging COURAGE around the neck. COURAGE, however, looks anything but thrilled. Even KATZ, whose yet to display emotion at all, seems interested._

_Cut to the HOST, reaching into his pockets. He takes out two bundles of BUFFS: one BLACK and one WHITE. They're wrapped in paper right now and the colors can't be seen)_

HOST

We're going to have a_ new_ Gertie and a _new_ Nemo. I'll now be passing out your new buffs. Do not open them until we're ready.

_(The HOST passes out all the BUFFS. The FOURTEEN CONTESTANTS stand on their MATS, each one holding out a CLOSED HAND in front of them)_

HOST

And go…

_(The CONTESTANTS open up their PALMS. CADPIG, DODGER, CAT, MARVIN, KATZ, and RITA all draw BLACK BUFFS. They will be the NEW GERTIE. Meanwhile, COURAGE, SONIC, DOT, WAKKO, TIMON, and NORBERT draw WHITE BUFFS. They will be the NEW NEMO)_

HOST

Interesting mix-up…_.interesting_….Let's see what we have here. Take your spots.

_(The CONTESTANTS cross to their NEW TEAMS. Some of them say goodbye to old TEAMMATES. Others step forward, introducing themselves to their new TRIBE)_

CADPIG

_(Hugging COURAGE)_

Stay gold, ponyboy. We've got this!

COURAGE

_(Laughing)_

Seeya Cadpig—

CADPIG

Yeah... also, please, please don't get voted out. Kay? Thanks. Bye.

_(CADPIG skips over to the GERTIES, joining her NEW TEAM. She is quickly welcomed by RITA. WAKKO, DOT, NORBERT, and TIMON cross over to the WHITE MAT, joining the NEW NEMO. SONIC is quick to welcome them. COURAGE is shy, hesitant)_

SONIC

_(To DOT)_

_Hey_. Well, glad to finally be able to talk to you—

DOT

_(Winking)_

You too…

SONIC

_(Trying not to blush)_

Yeah. Y'know...we kept seeing each other, at challenges, but like, being on different tribes we couldn't, like – ugh, you know what I mean. Wow, I'm tongue-tied. I can't talk today. Wow.

DOT

_(Laughing)_

It happens.

SONIC

_(Swinging his around COURAGE)_

Yeah…well, don't be shy, man. Make some friends….

COURAGE

_(Ignoring SONIC)_

Hey guys. I'm, uh, Courage…

_(TIMON seizes COURAGE's hand before he can do anything)_

TIMON

Timon!

_(NORBERT offers a hand as well)_

NORBERT

Norbert Foster Beaver. Call me Norb…

DOT

_(Whispering to COURAGE)_

You could call him a lot of other things too…

NORBERT

_(Laughing coldly)_

I _heard_ that, Dot...and I'm going to choose not to care.

WAKKO

_(Shaking hands with COURAGE)_

Wakko Warner!

COURAGE

That's an interesting name….

WAKKO

Well, so is yours. "Courage?"

COURAGE

_(Quickly_

Well, yeah...but I'm not...I'm not, like, "courageous"….per say. I don't know...

SONIC

Sure you ARE!

COURAGE

_(Annoyed with SONIC)_

Yeah, I don't know. ...So are you like, um..."wacko?"

WAKKO

What day is it?

COURAGE

Tuesday.

WAKKO

Ahh…no, no. See, I only lose my mind on—

COURAGE

Wait no, no - Wednesday— sorry-

WAKKO)

_(Letting his tongue hang out)_

Wednesday? BY GOD, THERE IT GOES!

* * *

_(Cut to the CHALLENGE, several minutes later. The GERTIES stand on one side of the RIVER. The NEMOS stand on the OTHER side. In the center of the RIVER, there is a small RAFT set up, anchored to the bottom. The HOST stands on it, detailing the rules of the challenge)_

HOST

Ready to get to today's challenge? All right...here's how it's going to work. Each round, a Nemo and a Gertie will meet in the middle of the bridge. You will fight in hand-to-hand combat to knock your opponent off. First to three wins. Sound good? Let's get started…

_(Cut to the first round. DOT steps down the BRIDGE, meeting RITA in the center. The two lock eyes with each other, grinning ear-to-ear...but they're anything but happy to see each other)_

HOST

First round…_Dot_ taking on _Rita._ I'm expecting bloodshed. GO!

_(RITA charges forward, knocking DOT to the ground. DOT nearly topples off, but she swings back, flipping RITA over. DOT sits on her chest, struggling to force RITA over the bridge. With all her might, RITA heaves up her feet. DOT flips over her, almost doing a cartwheel. RITA sees her chance. She spins around to kick DOT off the bridge. However, DOT rolls out of the way. RITA loses her balance. She falls into the RIVER)_

HOST

Nemo_ – one!_ Gertie _– zero!_ Coming up next….Sonic, taking on Dodger….

SONIC

_(Crossing to the middle of the bridge)_

So…once a Nemo always a Nemo? Does that still stand?

DODGER

_(Laughing)_

Oh, shut up, Sonic….

HOST

GO!

_(SONIC keeps his distance. He waits for DODGER to come to him. DODGER cocks his head, waiting as well. DODGER takes a hop forward, taunting SONIC. Then he takes a step back. _

_SONIC makes a dash forward…but then retreats, just as quickly as he started. _

_This time, DODGER takes two steps forward. SONIC takes two equal steps. They meet in the center. They smile. SONIC hits first, swatting DODGER in the shoulder. DODGER shoves him back, wrapping his arms around SONIC's armpit. He heaves him into the ground, almost knocking him off the BRIDGE. _

_The TWO squabble on top of one another, squirming, fighting...but neither gets any closer to the edge. _

_Finally, SONIC breaks free of DODGER's grip. __Instinctively, DODGER holds onto SONIC's hand...but SONIC lets go. __DODGER topples off the BRIDGE, falling into the water below)_

HOST

Nemo – two! Gertie – zero! Next round...Katz versus Courage. If Courage wins, this will be it. Nemo will have won the challenge…

_(KATZ crosses down the BRIDGE, moving with suave and elegance. He stands in the center, waiting patiently for COURAGE. COURAGE, understandably, is terrified...but he steps down the bridge, making his way to KATZ. Halfway down, he trips and almost falls off. KATZ smirks. COURAGE meets KATZ in the center, staring him dead in the eyes. They stand in silence)_

KATZ

_(Whispering)_

A little sport before dying, old boy?

COURAGE

_(Not even flinching)_

No. I hate swimming...

_(COURAGE dashes forward, hitting KATZ square in the chest. KATZ just stares down at him, raising his eyebrows. The punch, apparently, had no affect. COURAGE cowers. KATZ seizes COURAGE with one hand. Arcing him like a Frisbee, KATZ slams him down into the river)_

HOST

Katz totally annihilates Courage, scoring the first point for Gertie! Nemo still leads by one. Coming up next…_.Wakko_ going up against _Marvin._

_(Cut to WAKKO and MARVIN standing at opposite sides of the BRIDGE. WAKKO makes a strange face at MARVIN, encouraging him to smile. MARVIN shakes his head, embarrassed. MARVIN makes his way down the BRIDGE, waiting in the middle. WAKKO makes his way to the center as well. When he gets there, for some bizarre reason, WAKKO decides to poke MARVIN playfully in the shoulder._

_MARVIN just stares. _

_Then he thrusts out his hand, karate-chopping WAKKO in the stomach..._

_WAKKO stumbles back - and it's here that MARVIN sees his chance. He hurries forward, knocking WAKKO to the ground. MARVIN kneels over him, pinning his arms, ready to shove WAKKO off the BRIDGE._

_WAKKO, however, is only defiant._

_He growls at MARVIN. _

_With little to no effort, WAKKO kicks him off. _

_MARVIN stumbles, balanced on one foot. He nearly topples off the bridge. __Then, WAKKO charges forward._

_Bringing down his head, level to MARVIN's chest, WAKKO head-butts him. _

_MARVIN stands at the edge, arms flailing, spinning, struggling for balance….b__ut it isn't enough..._

_MARVIN stumbles off the BRIDGE and falls into the RIVER below)_

* * *

**NEMO wins IMMUNITY! They are safe from TRIBAL COUNCIL tonight!**

**GERTIE, however, will be going to TRIBAL COUNCIL, where the fifth contestant will be voted out…**

* * *

**NEW TRIBE BREAKDOWN**

* * *

**NEMO**

* * *

**WAKKO**

**DOT**

**TIMON**

**SONIC**

**COURAGE**

**NORBERT**

* * *

**GERTIE**

* * *

**RITA**

**CADPIG**

**DODGER**

**CAT**

**MARVIN**

**KATZ**


	10. A Lamb For The Slaughter, Part II

_(The NEW GERTIE TRIBE walks into their CAMP. KATZ, noticeably, is absent. He's walked ahead of the group, gone off into the DESERT. RITA leads the way , giving her NEW TRIBE MATES a tour)_

RITA

All right, here's our camp, _"Nemo-toads..._Let's see...this is our campfire. The well's over the hill. This is our crappy shelter. And...tour's over. All right, welcome aboard!

CAT

_(Sprawling out in the shelter)_

This is _paradise._

RITA

(Annoyed)

Yeah...bet ya'll were staying at the freaking Marriot, huh?

DODGER

_(Laying down in the shelter) _

_Nahhhh.._.we didn't have a shelter. It burned.

RITA

_Burned..?_

DODGER

_(Miming flicking a lighter)_

Yep...Zim...he torched it. Gone. Ka-put. Right, Cad?

RITA

_(Turning to CADPIG)_

WHOA! _Like, _your whole shelter?_  
_

CADPIG

_(Stepping in)_

... Zim had issues, Dodger. Like…_mental issues-_

DODGER

You called him cuckoo!

CADPIG

I was _upset!_

RITA

_(Cutting her off)_

Oh yeah, that's crazy. Nuts. Totally...

_(She leans closer to CADPIG, whispering only to her)_

Are you all right?

CADPIG

_(Whispering back)_

Yeah...Dodger makes me _mad. _It's fine.

DODGER

_(Cutting the silence)_

I mean, hey, hey, two weeks out here! We're _allllll _a little crazy...

_(He smiles at MARVIN, nudging him playfully)_

How about it, Marv? You feeling it yet?

MARVIN

_(Staring him down)_

Since the day I met _you,_ Dodger.

DODGER

_(Winking) _

Love you too.

_(KATZ enters from the desert, carrying several COOKED FISH strung to a line)_

KATZ

Any takers?

_CADPIG_

FISHIES!?

KATZ

(Distributing the FISH)

Housewarming present.

CAT

(Taking a fish)

Oh, you didn't have to do this—

CADPIG

(Taking a fish, munching into it)

Oh my GOSH. I can't talk. _Yum._

CAT

Cadpig, table manners.

CADPIG

(With her mouth full of food)

Um, there's no table…?

KATZ

I _didn't _have to do this. You're right...but with certain tribe mates gone—

RITA

(Coughing, smiling)

Dot...Norbert…

KATZ

(Smiling at RITA)

...With certain tribe-mates _gone._..I'm much more partial to enjoying your _company. _Now, who wants dinner?

DODGER

Yeah, toss that here, buddy boy!

(He takes a fish, sniffing it. He cringes)

Ugh, "cat-food." I need a steak right now, guys. Big fat New York steak.

MARVIN

_(Laughing)_

"Cat-food?"

RITA

You're talking to _three_ cats.

CAT

(Smiling darkly)

You're supposed to be making friends, Dodger.

RITA

_(Winking)_

So... you're just another dog with a weird "thing" against cats?

DODGER

Are you a cat with a weird "thing" against dogs?

RITA

I don't know. Ya'll are too cool for litterboxes. No big deal.

CADPIG

_(High-fiving RITA)_

_BUUUURRRN! _Boom-shacka-lacka.

RITA

_(Nudging DODGER)_

You'll get used to me…

DODGER

_(Smirking at RITA)_

If we're not worst enemies...maybe we'll be friends…

* * *

_(Cut to RITA and CADPIG walking through the DESERT, side-by-side. RITA is talking very enthusiastically. CADPIG, however, looks a bit annoyed)_

RITA

(Very forced)

So I'm really, _really_ happy we're together now, Cadpig—

CADPIG

(Looking away)

_Uh-huh—_

RITA

(Talking very fast)

Yeah, like, at _first _glance, people would think, "Oh, look, look, there's _three_ girls in this game. You, me, Dot. They'll form an alliance." But Dot sucks. I hate Dot.

CADPIG

_(Yawning)_

Wow.

(Awkward silence)

RITA

So, uh, where's your head at…?

CADPIG

(A little annoyed)

...Well...this is _a lot_ to process…

RITA

(Quickly)

Take your time.

CADPIG

(Searching for words)

I mean...I think I _like _you.

RITA

_Good!_

CADPIG

_(Smiling a little)_

Yeah, there's...some positive energy...between us here. So…

_(RITA laughs)_

...Something funny?

RITA

"Energy?"

CADPIG

What's wrong with that?

RITA

Yeah, "peace and love!" We're hippies!

CADPIG

_Hippy?_

RITA

(Realizing she's not joking)

_Oh. _

CADPIG

_What?_

RITA

Oh, I thought you were...oh, sorry. So...you believe in, like…"energy?" You're into that stuff?

CADPIG

…Yesss?

RITA

_(Speaking rushed)_

_Okay._ Well, I've met hippies. No, no, hippies are _great,_ I mean, besides the fact that they smell...um...

_(RITA goes on talking, struggling to save herself. The CAMERA zooms in on CADPIG, deep in thought, trying to ignore RITA)_

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

…When I started talking to Rita more, I realized...I didn't like her. Then, she called me a "hippy…" She said hippies "smell"… And I'm like, "Um, REALLY, GIRL?" Don't mess with the _spots!_ You'll get the FANGS!

(Cut back to RITA and CADPIG, still walking in the DESERT. Suddenly, CADPIG turns to RITA, grinning ear-to-ear.)

CADPIG

Hey. It's _cool!_ "Gerties" now, right? TEAM PRIDE, HOME-SLICE!

_ (CADPIG gives RITA goofy handshake. RITA, a little surprised, accepts it)_

RITA

_(Forcing a laugh)_

No, of course! I can just...I can ramble for hours.

CADPIG

_(Laughing with her)_

And I never shut up!

RITA

HAH! But yeah..if you're feeling nervous...y'know, think it over.

_(As RITA speaks, CADPIG inspects her own palm, seeing RITA'S SWEAT on it. She realizes RITA's nervous)_

CADPIG

_W_ell...right now, I'm in an alliance with Dodger...like, sort of.

RITA

What do you mean?

CADPIG

He thinks.._well,_ Dodger thinks we're in an alliance…but I don't trust him. Completely. We were on the same tribe before...but when Yakko got voted out first, Dodger basically engineered that vote _without_ tell us...and I just...I haven't trusted him since. So….are you close with _Katz?_

RITA

Nobody's close to Katz.

CADPIG

_(A little concerned)_

...Do you want to talk to him then?

RITA

_(Dismissively)_

No, no - Katz will align with us...but still, that's three- against-three. You're not _sure_ about Dodger?

CADPIG

_(Annoyed)_

I don't know, Rita...

RITA

We need an answer…

CADPIG

_ (Trying to be patient)_

...I'll talk to him, okay? I'll _talk_ to Dodger...but I don't know if he trusts you yet.

RITA

No, I get it…but if you're going to talk to him, do it _now..._before Marvin and Cat—

CADPIG

I will, I will. Chillax...You know, this_ is_ an adventure.

RITA

So?

CADPIG

Smile!

RITA

_(Annoyed)_

Go, Cadpig.

CADPIG

_ (Rising)_

I'm going, I'm going...

_(CADPIG walks off whistling. RITA watches her, exasperated)_

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

Cadpig is young...and _naïve. I_f I'm going to align with her, I need to be on twenty-four hour patrol...

* * *

_(Cut to KATZ sitting around the campfire with MARVIN and CAT. He has a dead bird and is guiding them through how to cook it)_

KATZ

So...once it's gutted, you remove the entrails. Then you can go about roasting it. _Here…_

CAT

You can fish. You can gut birds. What can't you do?

KATZ

Tap dance.

_(Awkward silence)_

That was the first joke I've made all game….

_(CAT laughs. Even MARVIN chuckles a little)_

MARVIN

Where did you learn how to hunt?

KATZ

(Quietly)

I've led an interesting, varied life.

(He cracks a wing off)

Who wants the first bite?

CAT

You should! You're our savior!

KATZ

Well, I'm glad you think that way, Cat…

_(KATZ looks to MARVIN, as if questioning whether it's okay to let CAT in on strategy talk. MARVIN nods)_

KATZ

So...Rita's off with Cadpig then?

MARVIN

Can we trust her?

KATZ

Rita, _Rita_…well, I trust Rita as much as I trust anyone else…but if she's off with Cadpig, I think we should be weary. If we were to get Cadpig on our side, I'd be fine with sending home Rita...but then there's _Dodger…_

MARVIN

(Uneasy)

Well...Dodger makes sense. Cadpig doesn't trust him…

KATZ

Excellent.

CAT

_(Trying to join in)_

All right, so it's settled then? Dodger?

MARVIN

I don't see why not…

CAT

Tee-riffic—

KATZ

(After a moment)

Wait – Cat, you know what? You should go find out what Dodger's up to. We don't want him talking to the girls.

CAT

(A little annoyed)

Oh. Okay...well, why don't _you _do it?

KATZ

(Dryly)

Because Dodger_ hates_ Marvin...and Rita isn't partial to me either. I mean, I know it's a lot to ask—

CAT

(Cutting him off)

No, no. One cat to another…right?

KATZ

Exactly…

(CAT smiles at the others. It's a little fake. He walks off into the desert)

MARVIN

(Smiling)

_Idiot..._

KATZ

Well, we can't talk like gentlemen with him around, can we? How was life at the Nemos, old boy?

MARVIN

An unwarranted disaster.

KATZ

Was it really?

MARVIN

(Counting with his fingers)

Let's see...Cadpig is a flower child with the IQ of a pea, Dodger's a street urchin, Cat thinks he deserves a Nobel Prize, Courage is scared of his shadow, and Sonic...don't get me started on _Sonic._

KATZ

(Chuckling)

I don't plan to…

MARVIN

(After a moment)

Yes...I think...I'd like to work with you, Katz…

KATZ

And the feeling's mutual, Marvin.

MARVIN

Good. I mean – we're the only one's here with brains. I think we're in a good spot.

(KATZ laughs)

So...going forward, I want to make sure...if we took out Dodger tonight, where would _that_ put us?

KATZ

You, me, and Cat together – and if we work in Cadpig, which we _will,_ that's _four._

MARVIN

(Frowning)

Okay...but from what I'm seeing, Dodger hates me more than Rita hates _you…._

_KATZ_

_So?_

_MARVIN_

I don't understand.

KATZ

Well, I don't follow either. Why are you—

MARVIN

Why Rita tonight? Why not Dodger?

KATZ

(Tripping over his words)

Oh. Because...

MARVIN

Yes?

KATZ

_Well…._

MARVIN

(Smiling)

See...you want to keep someone who_ hates_ me in the game. _That's_ Dodger. You want to take the target off yourself. Right?

KATZ

(Quietly)

I applaud your intelligence.

MARVIN

So...why should I vote with _you_ tonight then?

(Silence)

I'm waiting.

KATZ

_(Breaking another wing off the bird)_

It's your choice. I can't force you. You want the easy victory? Go ahead. _But…_I love a good _hunt. _I've poached animals in the wild. I've held their carcasses and watched the life drain out of them. You can do what you want tonight, Marvin…but believe me, if you make the wrong choice, you will be put down like a lamb for the slaughter. I'm asking you for your loyalty. A promise that I will take you deep, deep in this game. Do you _support _that, Marvin? Or are you content winning over idiots?

MARVIN

(After a moment)

There's no pride in winning over idiots….

(He holds out a hand. KATZ shakes it)

Here's to beating _you_ in the Final Two, Katz…

KATZ

_(Smirking)_

Excellent. Here's to hoping you get there…

* * *

_(Cut to CAT stalking his way through the desert. He crosses over rocks, ducking into crevasses, hiding behind logs…)_

_(Cut to CAT in a confessional)_

CAT

I was stuck at the bottom of Nemo…with..let's see... psycho Zim, mute Marvin, two-faced flipper Sonic. I'm on a new soil now…and if Katz and Marvin want to_ use_ me...well...they have another thing coming...

* * *

_(Cut to CAT peering out from a cluster of BUSHES. Outside the BUSHES, CADPIG and DODGER are sitting on a couple of rocks. They're in the middle of a conversation)_

DODGER

_(Ruffling CADPIG's head)_

C'mon, kid...forget this stranger-danger stuff! I'm with you. I've got your back!

CADPIG

No, I'm sorry. It's just...y'know, ever since the Yakko vote—

DODGER

_(Raising his hand)_

Hold, hold up...did I not very clearly tell both you and Courage that round, "Hey, hey - vote for Yakko?"

CADPIG

No, but—

DODGER

(Playfully)

But, but, but, but— yes?

CADPIG

(Laughing)

You never explained yourself, dude. You were just like, "Oh, hey guys, I'msuper-secret-Dodger. Vote for Yakko. MUAHAHAHA!"

_(DODGER laughs with her)_

Then you went back into the shadows to plan your mischief and wrong-doing and-

DODGER

(Smiling)

"Mischief and wrong-doing?"...okay, okay, back in New York, yeah, maybe I'm into that crap, but I'm America's hero out here.

CADPIG

(A little concerned)

...Um, well, what kind of_ "crap?"_

DODGER

(Getting a little quiet)

Ehhh y'know...Steal from the rich...give to the poor. I live in the streets. I've poached food. Stolen some car parts. But it's not for _fun,_ kid. I do that stuff to_ eat—_

CADPIG

I know, I know. Wow...that must be hard...

_(DODGER smirks, clearly thinking he's earned her trust)_

Well..if it makes you feel any better...I'm ready to go up to Marvin and Cat and whoop their sorry little—

_(In the bushes, CAT is bitten by a SCORPION. He cries out in pain and hops out of the BUSHES, jumping up and down. DODGER and CADPIG stare at him)_

CAT

OW! OW! MY BODY, MY BODY!

_ (DODGER crosses over, trying to get the SCORPION off of CAT. He pulls at it)_

DODGER

Hold still, whisker-face—

CAT

YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE!

_(CADPIG shakes her head. She crosses over to CAT and pushes down on the SCORPION, squeezing it. It detaches. CAT falls to the GROUND, massaging his fur)_

DODGER

(Amazed)

Who are you, the Crocodile Hunter?

CADPIG

I grew up on a farm. I know bugs.

DODGER

Um, scorpions?

CADPIG

Well, yeah...I watched TV too. It's just a bug-bite, Cat. Can you stop crying?

CAT

_(Standing up)_

I'm _not _crying.

_(DODGER snickers at him)_

Do you see any tears?

DODGER

Well, yeah, _you_ wiped them—

CAT

_(Annoyed)_

I came with a proposition. If you don't want to hear it, that's fine by me—

DODGER

_(Amused)_

What're you pitching?

CAT

They're voting you out tonight, Dodger.

DODGER

Okay.

CAT

Yes.

DODGER

_Cool._

CAT

Don't you care?

DODGER

Why are you telling me?

CAT

All of this fighting, lying, scheming. Doesn't it get _old?_ What if I decided to turn over a new leaf?

DODGER

(Shaking him off)

Turn it over somewhere else…

CADPIG

Let him talk...

CAT

Marvin has the Idol...

DODGER

_Yawn._

CAT

Remember on Nemo? How Marvin was always walking off in the desert? Plus stuff he's said to me... like, how he _could_ have saved Zim, but he _chose_ not to... He _must_ have it, guys.

_(No response. DODGER and CADPIG just stare at him)_

I want to work with_ you._ What do I have to do? Tattoo it across my face?

DODGER

You're untrustworthy.

CADPIG

Wait. Hold up, hold up.

_(CADPIG gets close, looking him deep in the eyes. CAT is confused. Long silence)_

DODGER

What's up?

CADPIG

Hmmm...

CAT

Umm...Cadpig, what are you—

CADPIG

Shh, shh. I'm _working_ here.

(She sighs, turning away)

Okay...Dodger…

DODGER

_...Yes?_

CADPIG

(Completely serious)

Have I ever talked to you about..."energy?"

DODGER

(In disbelief)

Oh my God, Cadpig— are you-

CADPIG

No. Listen to me. _Listen._ People give off...I mean, depending on who they are, they give off different energy, and I looked into Cat's eyes…I really, really looked just now. I've never been wrong with this. I—

DODGER

You are _wrong._

CADPIG

But I've never been wrong! Just listen - I know it sounds weird, but-

DODGER

His "eyes", Cad? You looked into his "_eyes?"_

CADPIG

It's his energy. It's positive-

DODGER

He's a liar!

CADPIG

_No._ He's telling the truth-

DODGER

He's a manipulator!

CADPIG

He's genuine!

DODGER

He's lying!

CADPIG

He's a good person!

DODGER

He's a _CAT!_

CAT

_WHOA! Seriously? Hold up-_

CADPIG

(Holding up her hand)

Okay. All right, that's IT! SHUT UP! SILENCE! ZIP-ZIP-_SHUT!_

DODGER

Cadpig-

CADPIG

Everyone quiet! Ya'll got to CALM DOWN! You're messing up my flow and it's really freaking me out. Dodger, look at _Cat. He's _desperate. Clearly, hurling insults at him - insulting his_ species_ \- is not going to make anything better-

DODGER

I have friends who are cats-

CADPIG

(Getting louder)

LISTEN! This is "Survivor!" People are _going_ to change their minds. People are going to get _scared__._.but can we just step back for a second? Can we talk? Can we just be peaceful here and _listen_ and not...not...attack each other like jaguars drugged up on freaking cat nip? _Please?_

DODGER

(Desperate)

I'm pleading here. Cat is_ lying._

CADPIG

_(Exasperated)_

Why do you think that?

DODGER

_(Struggling to stay calm)_

_Okay.._..So...since I was a pup, I've been in like_ ten_ different street gangs...all right?

CADPIG

Okay...?

DODGER

(Locking her in the eyes)

...Okay...well...one night...I hawked some hot dogs from a concession stand. That was my _dinner_. So I'm sitting in the alley, getting ready to dig in, and these Rottweilers come up, strays, and they tell me to come into their hideout, saying they'll give me more food for the winter. Well...I crawl into their hideout, this little air duct thing on the side of the building, and they bit me, they clawed me, they swiped the hot dogs and almost maul me to _death. _And that was the first of four different times that happened. Cadpig...I _know_ when people are bad.

_(CADPIG stares at DODGER, lost for words. He looks her deep in the eyes)_

I'm begging you.

CAT

_(Snapping at him)_

Well hey, you stole the food then! How does that make you any better!?

CADPIG

_(Timidly)_

Shush, _shush._ Dodger, look...I...I understand...but not everyone is _bad._

DODGER

How would you_ know?_

CADPIG

Well...because even if they beat you up...hot dogs are bad for you anyway.

_(Zoom in on DODGER's face. He stares at CADPIG in disbelief)_

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. DODGER storms away from CADPIG and CAT, unable to take it anymore. He vanishes through the BUSHES. CADPIG has tears in her eyes. CAT stands on the side, lost, unsure of how to approach this)_

_CADPIG_

_(Muttering)_

I can't believe this...

CAT

(Breaking the silence)

...I..I don't like starting fights.

CADPIG

(Annoyed)

I _know. _I _know_. You're with us. I know. It's just…_Dodger...Ugh._

CAT

Mhm….

CADPIG

(Sniffling)

Like...I just want to help_._ Like...u_gh..._I'm so sorry...

CAT

...It's fine…

_ (CADPIG takes a deep breath. __She turns to the desert, heading the way DODGER went)_

_CAT_

(Trying to hide his excitement)

Oh...are you going to talk to him?

CADPIG

Yes. I'm going to sort this out. Wait here.

_ (She turns to leave. Then, thinking, she turns back to CAT)_

_Wait._

CAT

Yes?

CADPIG

So...if Marvin has the Idol...do you want to split the votes between Katz and Marvin? So...Dodger and I vote for Katz, you and Rita vote for Marvin...and if there's a tie for a revote, we just take it from there, right?

CAT

_Wonderful…_

CADPIG

Thank you, Cat. _Thank you…._

_(She turns back toward the DESERT, heading out after DODGER)_

DODGER! DODGER! WAIT!

_(The camera zooms in on CAT. He seems perplexed, still processing what the hell just happened. Then he grins. He hops up and down, doing a happy dance)_

CAT

(Singing)

_Cat's the King of the Gerties! Cat's the King of the Gerties! Cat's the King of the Geeeeerties! Which nobody can denyyyyy!_

_(The camera zooms in. Deep in the bushes, we see that MARVIN has been watching this whole conversation. He crouches away, vanishing from sight)_

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

I have ears you know...

* * *

_(Cut to CAT sometime later, carrying a bundle of FIREWOOD back to camp. MARVIN steps out from behind a ROCK, smiling at CAT darkly. He backs him into a corner)_

MARVIN

So..._Cat..._

CAT

Marvin! Hi! Greetings! Um—

MARVIN

I heard you've been making some plans..

CAT

(Frightened)

Oh… Plans? What no I...how was your talk with, um—

MARVIN

(Putting a hand on his shoulder)

Relax. Relax. I'm fine with getting rid of Katz too. Right?

CAT

Umm…right. I mean, yes, yes. Exactly. _Katz._

MARVIN

Top of the day, old friend...

_(MARVIN struts away whistling. CAT takes a deep breath, regaining his composure. He walks away with the FIREWOOD)_

* * *

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

So based on what I've heard...Cadpig, Katz, Dodger, and_ I_ are going to vote out Marvin tonight. That's what I've _last_ heard. So...unless the do something _stupid,_ that's what we're planning...

_(Cut to the POND. RITA kneels by the water, washing her face. MARVIN steps out from the bushes behind her. For a moment, he observes her. Then he steps forward, clearing his throat. She doesn't notice. MARVIN taps her on the shrieks and nearly falls in the water)_

RITA

AHHH!

MARVIN

My apologies—

RITA

WHY? I mean – why would you _do_ that?

MARVIN

I could come back—

RITA

_(Glaring)_

No. Go on, alien boy. What scheme are you cooking up now?

MARVIN

I'd like to talk to you, Rita. Why does that have to include scheming?

RITA

(Laughing)

Um, we're in a _game_?

MARVIN

(Staring her down)

Perhaps...but you don't know what I have to tell you yet.

RITA

(Rolling her eyes)

Ugh. Sit down, Marvin…._sit,__sit…._

_(MARVIN smirks, sitting down beside RITA. He makes himself comfortable, looking out at the water)_

RITA

...Mars, right? That's where you're from?

MARVIN

(Starting to speak)

_Correct—_

_RITA_

(Cutting him off)

Yeah. Never been there. I mean….I wouldn't have. I couldn't have-

MARVIN

_Yes, well—_

RITA

But yeah, I've seen pictures. It's red, right?

MARVIN

Yes. Rita...I'm trying to _speak._

RITA

(Turning to face him)

Fine. Go on. Go…

MARVIN

(Getting annoyed)

So—

RITA

(Trying to be nice)

You know, you don't have to be so scared of everyone. It's why everyone thinks you're, like...y'know, _weird._

MARVIN

_Who?_

RITA

Everyone…

MARVIN

_Well..._maybe if I was actually competing with intelligent people, I'd engage in conversation.

RITA

Sassy...

MARVIN

(Trying to hide his temper)

There is no "sass" here, Rita.

RITA

Well lighten up. Get drunk. Laugh. Smile. I don't know...do something.

MARVIN

(Staring RITA down)

Let me show you what I have….

_(MARVIN reaches into his knapsack. He pulls out the hidden IMMUNITY IDOL that he found on NEMO. Right away, RITA is shocked. She cups her hands to her mouth)_

MARVIN

Cadpig and Dodger hate me. I'm sure they've talked to you about tonight too...right? I know I'm being targeted...and you're in on it. I _know. _So here's what I'm proposing, Rita... You and Cat…you_ trick_ Dodger and Cadpig into thinking you'll split the votes...two for me, two for Katz...when really, you and Cat are _both_ going to vote for Katz_ with them._

_(RITA seems to be considering this. MARVIN leans closer, talking louder now)_

So you and Cat tell Dodger and Cadpig to vote for Katz. You say you'll vote for me...but really, we knock out Katz with _five votes._...And if this all goes right, I won't even have to play the Idol. We can use it _later. _The two of us.

RITA

(After a moment)

...Does...does anybody else know you have this?

MARVIN

(Smirking)

You're the _first._ How does that make you feel?

RITA

Like a million bucks, baby. You are a little sneak, Marvin. _Wow._

MARVIN

Guilty as charged…

RITA

All right, E.T...let's send Katz's sorry ass back to Kansas…

_ (MARVIN offers a hand, smiling at RITA. She accepts)_

* * *

_(Cut to TRIBAL COUNCIL that night. The GERTIE TRIBE enters, each CONTESTANT armed with a BURNING TORCH. They place their TORCHES down on their respective PEDESTALS. Then they sit down as the HOST takes to his PODIUM. One-by-one, they rise to vote)_

_(Cut to the VOTING BOOTH. KATZ is the first to enter)_

KATZ

Inside your head, there's at least some capacity to hold a brain...but you've run your _course._ Good game.

_(Cut to CADPIG in the voting both)_

CADPIG

Dodger...I'm sorry about today. Let's...move forward and forget this…

_(Cut to DODGER in the voting booth)_

DODGER

(Putting on a British accent)

_Game over, dear boy..._

_(Cut to CAT in the voting booth)_

CAT

This should prove, once and for all...cats are smarter than dogs.

_(Cut to RITA in the voting booth)_

RITA

Marvin, unless you're completely screwing me over, this one's for you. Thanks for the info…

_(Cut to MARVIN in the voting booth)_

_(MARVIN enters the BOOTH. He doesn't stay anything. He just writes his vote down in silence)_

* * *

_(MARVIN exits the VOTING BOOTH, crossing back down into his seat. The HOST reenters carrying the URN full of VOTES. He takes his place on his PODIUM)_

HOST

If anyone has a hidden immunity idol, _now _would be the time to play it…

_(CADPIG and DODGER tense up, waiting to see if MARVIN moves. He doesn't)_

Once the votes are read, the decision is final. The person voted out will be asked to leave the tribal council area immediately. I'll read the votes…

* * *

**FIRST VOTE**

**KATZ**

**SECOND VOTE**

**DODGER**

**THIRD VOTE**

**KATZ**

**FOURTH VOTE**

**KATZ**

**FIFTH VOTE**

**KATZ**

**SIXTH VOTE**

**KATZ**

**Fifth person voted out of Survivor: Animation Brawl…**

**KATZ**

* * *

_(Cut to the GERTIES' reactions. CADPIG is bewildered. She looks to RITA, demanding to know why there were no votes for MARVIN. RITA is too busy celebrating with CAT to acknowledge her. DODGER, similarly, is upset. He glares at RITA, CAT, and MARVIN - not happy with the fact that he hasn't been included in their plan tonight. MARVIN glares at KATZ, staring him down. KATZ, meanwhile, is just lost for words. He locks eyes with MARVIN, brooding with rage. Finally, he speaks)_

_KATZ_

_(Muttering under his breath)_

Pity…

_(KATZ rises from the LOG, taking his TORCH. He yawns. He cracks his neck loudly, startling the OTHERS. Then he crosses to the HOST, placing his TORCH down neatly on the POST)_

HOST

_Katz…_the tribe has spoken.

Time for you to go…

_(The HOST snuffs out KATZ'S torch. KATZ turns back to the OTHERS, his face unreadable. Everybody stares back at KATZ, expecting some kind of response. For a second, it seems like KATZ is about to say something. Then he chuckles, shaking his head. He walks down the exit hallway, leaving for good)_

HOST

Well, another one bites the dust…but keep in mind: what does this mean going forward? Katz had you all fooled. Who's to say there aren't other snakes in the grass? Grab your stuff. Head back to camp.

* * *

**VOTE TALLY**

* * *

**RITA voted for KATZ.**

**CADPIG voted for KATZ  
**

**MARVIN voted for KATZ.**

**DODGER voted for KATZ  
**

**KATZ voted for DODGER.**

**CAT voted for KATZ**

* * *

**A/N: **Katz was meant to be a red herring. My intent was to set him up to be this totally badass villain - this guy that seems basically unbeatable - and then have him taken out pre-merge by somebody similar, but also a bit different. Marvin, for a few of his actions so far at least, could probably be considered a villain. Still, I think it's worth looking at the difference between Marvin and Katz as characters.

From brief moments we've seen, Marvin can actually get very emotional. He's playing from a very human place and playing with a strong sense of mortals. Katz, in a way, has sort of abandoned his emotions. We don't know a lot about his past, but he doesn't seem to have any interest in people and just sees them as puppets to move around. He thought he could use Marvin's arrogance against him, directing him toward an alliance by saying that he'd be a coward to take out the weaker players. Well, that backfired pretty badly.

Anyway, that's why I liked the idea of Katz, a total sociopath, taken out by Marvin - someone who's also had a rough life clearly, but who also hasn't completely abandoned his humanity in the same way that Katz has.


	11. Games Don't Scare Me, Part I

_(Cut to the GERTIE CAMP, late at night. The GERTIES return, placing their TORCHES against a tree. CADPIG storms off into the desert, clearly upset. She leaves the OTHERS behind. Very quickly, DODGER singles out RITA)_

DODGER

M-A-R-V-I-N? Can you spell?

RITA

Yes, I can spell. I couldn't have told you I was voting for Katz. If I'd told you, you and Cadpig might have changed your minds.

DODGER

Well, that's still lying, Rita. You said you'd vote for Marvin, and you didn't—

RITA

No. No. I...I voted for Katz - because—let me explain—

DODGER

Oh, and now you're stuttering—

RITA

Who was the bigger threat?

DODGER

I'm just saying, you obviously don't trust us. Now, we don't need to trust you. That's fine. You dug your grave; now lie in it.

RITA

That's not what I said!

DODGER

Okay, Rita. Whatever. Good night…

RITA

Can I _talk?_

DODGER

You screwed yourself! What's to say?

CAT

_(Smiling a little)_

Actually Dodger, we screwed you.

DODGER

_(Getting on his knees)_

Oh, sorry, Cat. Sorry. I _bow_ to you. You're _such_ a genius...Everyone, excuse me - for your stunning gameplay this round, I'd like to award you guys with a present. Let's see…

_(He picks up a stick on the ground, holding it out for RITA)_

Ah, yes! All right, see this? This stick is the "I'm getting no jury votes…" award, and I'm giving it to you guys - Rita, Marvin, and Cat. _Here,_ frame it….

_(RITA takes the STICK and cracks it)_

RITA

You first.

DODGER

Actually, ladies first. Oh wait, wait – never mind, you don't count...

_(RITA shoves DODGER. He stumbles back)_

RITA

Oh, shut up, Dodger.

DODGER

Whoa, don't hit me, man—

MARVIN

Ignore him.

DODGER

_(Urging RITA)_

Say something. _Go._ Try me. I'm right here…

RITA

Scumbag. Soon, you're not even going to be here anymore...

_(RITA marches off to the shelter, getting ready for bed. CAT and MARVIN follow her, ignoring DODGER)_

DODGER

_(Picking up the stick)_

Hey, hey – you dropped your "award!"

* * *

_(Cut to the NEMO CAMP, late at night. DOT and WAKKO are off in the DESERT, staring up at a high tree branch. WAKKO is holding NORBERT's CANTEEN, stolen from their CAMP. He swings it the strap, trying to get some momentum going)_

DOT

Okay, ready, ready – and – GO!

_(WAKKO chucks the CANTEEN. It gets snagged on the TREE BRANCH, hanging about TWENTY FEET above them. DOT and WAKKO crack up)_

DOT

YES! Let's see Norby climb!

WAKKO

(Giving DOT a high-five)

WOO! That's for _Yakko!_

DOT

Let's go hide all of his other stuff!

_(DOT and WAKKO dash off, racing each other back to camp)_

_(Cut to DOT in a confessional)_

DOT

After Yakko got voted out first, I think we might have lost sight of things a little. Because, come on, this is a _game._ It doesn't mean anything. Let's have some fun. Let's do what we do best: annoy people. Today, our "special friend" goes by the name of Norbert Beaver.

_(Cut to the center of the NEMO CAMP, early the next morning. Some of the NEMOS – WAKKO, DOT, and COURAGE – are gathered around their CAMPFIRE, boiling their last few rations of RICE in a pot._

_NORBERT enters the CAMP, scratching his head)_

NORBERT

Excuse me guys? But, uh...has anyone seen my canteen?

_(DOT and WAKKO try to hide their laughter)_

Do you have something to say to me?

WAKKO

_(Smiling)_

No, we haven't seen it...

DOT

But maybe you should, um, look _up—_

WAKKO

Like, _realllllllly_ up.

DOT

_Up and awaaaaaaaaaay!_

_(DOT laughs. WAKKO, however, looks across the CAMPFIRE. He makes eye contact with COURAGE, who is boiling their RICE for breakfast._

_COURAGE shakes his head, clearly not approving of what they've done. He looks away from WAKKO and walks off. WAKKO frowns, thinking)_

NORBERT

_(Calmly)_

So...I'm going to assume you hid it?

DOT

_(Smiling)_

Well, look on the bright side: you're always talking about how you love nature …now you can hug a tree!

NORBERT

! If we were in first grade I'd steal your lunch money...I'd push you down on the playground…but whatever, fine. I can be your babysitter. Which tree is it in?

DOT

(Taunting him)

Okay, but first, you have to say you say I'm _cute._

NORBERT

You're _cute…_

DOT

Louder?

NORBERT

Give me back my canteen.

_(WAKKO looks on in concern. He turns _quickly to NORBERT)

WAKKO

...It's, um, it's in the weird tree with the spindly branches, Norb…

NORBERT

Thank you, Wakko. _God..._

_(NORBERT storms off into the DESERT, clearly annoyed. DOT turns back to WAKKO, still giggling)_

DOT

Hey, why'd you stop? I was going to make him beg—

WAKKO

_(Quietly)_

...Dot, look...this isn't going to help us-

DOT

_(Not listening, laughing)_

Oh my God, the look on his face. Oh my God, can you imagine if he got _stuck?_ Like, what if he climbed all the way up, and he couldn't get down, and then they had to, like, _postpone_ the challenge, so they could help him—

WAKKO

(Annoyed)

Yes, Dot. Norbert's annoying. Okay.

DOT

He is. Right?

WAKKO

(With difficulty)

But...I mean, isn't it kind of dumb? I mean, if we want to get further in the game, like—

DOT

(Cutting him off)

What? No, we talked before, Wakko. I _told_ you: I was just upset before. You can joke with me. You can keep joking. You don't have too, like, hold back or anything. What's wrong?

WAKKO

I'm just saying. If we want to get further in the game, we can't annoy everyone. We're just going to make them hate us…

DOT

Okay…

WAKKO

Yeah…

DOT

(Gently)

Okay, okay, okay. Fine. So...we're done with that then. Geez.

WAKKO

(Relieved)

_Thank you..._

DOT

(After a moment)

So…

_(They sit there in awkward silence. Without someone to annoy, they have nothing else to talk about. WAKKO stares at the fire, trying to think of what to say to DOT. DOT does the same, searching for what to say to WAKKO)_

DOT

_(Finally speaking)_

Imagine if Norbert had ended up with Yakko—

WAKKO

Yeah, yeah, wow. That would have been a mess. Hey, I'm going to the bathroom…

DOT

You want me to hold your hand or something?

WAKKO

Well, if there's some kind of horrible peeing accident, I'll give you a call. Be right back…

_(WAKKO jogs off into the desert, leaving DOT alone at the CAMPSITE. As WAKKO leaves, her smile fades. She rests her face in her hands, clearly worried)_

_(Cut to DOT in a confessional. She looks annoyed)_

DOT

Wakko tells me over and over..."I want to win, I want to win." Um, obviously big brother – you think _I'm_ going to let all these dingbats get away with voting out _Yakko?_ Like, Wakko's my brother. I know. I love him. That's why it sucks. He just doesn't get it. I know what I'm doing here. Yakko taught me everything. I wouldn't be annoying everyone if I didn't think we could beat them…

* * *

_(Cut to SONIC and NORBERT walking out to the WELL in the DESERT. SONIC drags the BUCKET behind him with a ROPE)_

SONIC

So why the long face, Norb? What's up? You've been looking glum since we got here. What, are you always like this?

NORBERT

No Sonic...actually, when I'm dehydrated, I'm usually the life of the party.

SONIC

Well, we're going to be stuck here...for like another two weeks. It's like...it's sort of in my nature, man...to be _concerned._ I'm like that. Come on...does it have something to do with Dot?

NORBERT

No.

SONIC

Okay.

NORBERT

Have you talked to Dot?

SONIC

Not yet. You guys got some beef with each other, don't you?

NORBERT

(After a moment)

...All right, so do you want the full story, or just the beginning?

(Cut to SONIC in a confessional)

SONIC

I think Norb was just in a slump, y'know? I mean...he told me what happened on his old tribe, and I'm just like, "Man, bummer!" He seems chill, somebody I can vibe with. Got to get Team Sonic off it's feet!

_(Cut back to SONIC and NORBERT by the well. NORBERT has just finished telling SONIC the story of what happened on GERTIE. SONIC listens, attentive, engaged)_

SONIC

She..._spit _at you?

NORBERT

(Pointing to his cheek)

Right on the cheek. _Real _mature, huh?

SONIC

So you haven't had a friend in the world out here…

NORBERT

(Grinning at him)

You could _saaaaay_ that...

SONIC

(Solemnly)

Except your brother...but...y'know…

NORBERT

Yeah, well, rest in peace _– blah, blah, blah._ But y'know, Daggy Waggy _had_ his shot. I've got to have mine. So...I appreciate the _keend-ness,_ Sonic, really, but I've got to wonder. You've got to be freaking-weeking out here.

_(His face clouds over, looking sad)_

I mean, you don't _know _anyone here…just Courage…right?

SONIC

(Laughing)

Well, games don't scare me, Norb….

NORBERT

Is that a _challenge?_

SONIC

No. No, I'm just saying, y'know...we're both in shape, we're both pretty smart. So let's do this. Together. …You feeling me here?

NORBERT

All right...but Dot goes next….

* * *

_(Cut to somewhere out in the DESERT. A shot of COURAGE walking across the sand, carrying a WALKING STICK. His CANTEEN is clipped to his waist. In his hand, he holds a crumbled note)_

_(Cut to COURAGE in a confessional)_

COURAGE

I haven't had the chance to go looking for the Idol….just because, y'know, Cadpig was here...hovering, constantly. But...now that she's on Gertie, I'm thinking of going for a treasure hunt…

_(Cut to COURAGE standing by the WALL that MARVIN excavated. He glances down at his IDOL CLUE, reading the RIDDLE that MARVIN figured out. Then he turns to the WALL, digging through the DIFFERENT HOLES in the ROCK)_

COURAGE

(Muttering to himself)

No. No. _No…._

(He gets to the thirteenth hole, fishing into it)

All right, _thirteen._ It should be this one…

_(COURAGE reaches into the HOLE. He shifts his hand around, but comes out with nothing. He shakes his head, pulling his HAND out of the HOLE)_

COURAGE

...Wait, no, it _had _to have been here….That means—

_(COURAGE stands up, furious at himself. He kicks the ROCK WALL hard. Then he yelps in pain, massaging his FOOT)_

_(Cut to COURAGE in a confessional. He is venting and looks horrified)_

COURAGE

I...I let somebody_ take_ my Idol. I can't believe it. I had the _clue_. I...I had so much time to look for it, so much time. I forgot. I literally _forgot._ Oh my God...and if Marvin found that Idol…and if he voted out Cadpig last night, or even Dodger—

(He takes a deep breath)

No. Wait. Breathe. Breathe. Don't freak out. They weren't voted out. They weren't voted out. They weren't-

_(In the distance, a BIRD wails from the TREES. COURAGE screams, panicked. He ducks for cover)_

* * *

_(Cut to the immunity challenge, later that morning. The NEMOS stand on a BLACK MAT in front of the POND, waiting for the GERTIES to ENTER. In the CENTER of the POND, there are two buoys bobbing: a BLACK one and a WHITE one. The HOST stands on his OWN MAT between the TWO TRIBES)_

HOST

Come on in guys!

(The GERTIES enter from the DESERT, taking their spot on their MAT)

Nemo, getting your first look at the new Gertie tribe. _Katz..._voted out last night at Tribal Council.

_(Cut to the NEMOS' reactions. None of them knew KATZ very well, but based on his physical strength, they are surprised. TIMON looks mildly upset. COURAGE, meanwhile, can't hide his relief. He offers a smile to CADPIG standing on the OTHER MAT. CADPIG returns it)_

HOST

You guys ready for today's immunity challenge?

(Everyone claps, hollers)

All right, here's how this is going to work. On my go, a member of each tribe is going to dive out into the pond. The ground has been excavated. While usually shallow, there is now a large hole on either side underwater. Once submerged, you will swim down to a line of buoys, stretching fifteen feet below the surface. Altogether, there are three. As you dig down deeper, it will take longer. It will be _darker._ You will need more time to breathe. The first tribe to unclip all seven buoys wins , you have _one _extra member. Who are you sitting out?

_(SONIC raises his hand)_

Sonic! Not a fan of the water?

SONIC

Nope. Can't swim. You've got this, guys!

HOST

All right, let's get this started….

(Cut to several minutes later. The NEMOS and GERTIES stand on opposite sides of the POND, ready for action. The first diver for NEMO is NORBERT. The diver for GERTIE is CAT)

HOST

Survivors ready? GO!

(NORBERT dives into the WATER with ease. He sinks beneath the SURFACE. The WHITE BUOY starts to BOB as NORBERT works on the line underwater. CAT, meanwhile, is nothing short of abysmal. It looks like he's never swam in his life. He splashes around in the WATER, disoriented, trying to stay afloat)

MARVIN

Dive, Cat! DIVE!

(CAT holds his nose and sinks underwater. As he does, NORBERT rises with the FIRST BUOY. The NEMOS cheer. NORBERT paddles back to SHORE, hopping up onto the SAND. He tags TIMON, who swan-dives down into the WATER)

SURVIVOR

_Norbert_ scores for Nemo! Gertie, who does _not _want to go back to Tribal Council, has yet to score a single point…

(CAT resurfaces, coughing and holding the FIRST BUOY for GERTIE. He swims his way back to the edge of the POND. CADPIG dives in, vanishing beneath the WATER)

(Cut back to the GERTIE side. DOT watches as TIMON resurfaces with the SECOND BUOY. The OTHER NEMOS cheer him off, but DOT looks hesitant. She glances over to WAKKO cheering and raving with the rest. Suddenly, DOT looks very uneasy)

_(Cut to DOT in a confessional)_

DOT

Halfway through, I just decided that I had no choice. I knew Wakko wouldn't listen to me. I knew Sonic was aligned with Norbert...and I didn't trust Timon enough to not tell Wakko. But I couldn't be on a tribe with Norbert anymore. There was no _way._ I hate him. I need him gone. Tonight. So, I decided to throw the challenge….

(Cut back to the GERTIE side. DOT glances over at COURAGE, who also looks very hesitant. DOT observes him. COURAGE is staring at CADPIG, watching as she surfaces from the WATER and swims back to her side. Obviously, he's concerned for her)

DOT

(Whispering)

Courage, listen...do you want to throw it?

COURAGE

What?

DOT

I want to vote out Norbert. If you jump in the water...and you lose the challenge...I promise you, I will keep you safe. Wakko and I – we could pull in Timon from our old tribe too. We'll protect you. _Please._

COURAGE

Well...why can't _you _throw it?

DOT

(Lying quickly)

I can't swim. _Please—_

_COURAGE_

(Pointing to WAKKO and TIMON)

Why don't_ they_ do it?

DOT

They won't listen. Trust me. I'm telling you.

(On the GERTIE side, DODGER has dived down into the WATER. On the NEMO side, SONIC, WAKKO, TIMON, and NORBERT are staring questionably)

TIMON

Guys! Come on, we're losing! Who's swimming?

DOT

(Stepping away from COURAGE)

I'll go. I'll go. _Shut up—_

(Then COURAGE steps forward, shoving DOT out of the way. The others look shocked as COURAGE dives down into the water. DOT takes a deep breath, relieved. On the other side of the POND, DODGER has also vanished beneath the WATER)

HOST

It's come down to the wire! Dodger and Courage...who will come up first?

(Bubbles float to the surface. The GERTIES and NEMO watch from the sidelines, crossing their fingers, waiting to see who comes up. DOT bites her nails, praying that COURAGE throws the challenge)

(Finally, COURAGE surfaces from the WATER, holding the BUOY. The NEMOS cheer...but something is wrong. COURAGE struggles with the BUOY, trying to clip it off the rope)

COURAGE

It's stuck, guys! It's stuck! What do I do?

DOT

(Muttering under her breath)

Thank you, Courage…thank you…..

(DODGER surfaces, shaking the water out of his FUR. The GERTIES cheer, urging him to swim back to the SHORE. COURAGE struggles with the BUOY, still trying to unclip it...or at least pretending to)

NORBERT

(Furious)

It's a clip, Courage! Just unclip it!

COURAGE

It's stuck, Norb!

(DODGER paddles back to SHORE, holding the BUOY in his mouth. He tosses it up onto the SHORE. CADPIG catches it. She slams it down on the ground like a touchdown. The GERTIES cheer, jumping up and down, hugging each other)

(On the other side, COURAGE paddles his way back to SHORE without the BUOY. WAKKO looks concerned. DOT is thrilled, trying to hide it. NORBERT, SONIC, and TIMON look like they're ready to kill COURAGE)

COURAGE

(Looking down)

Um...sorry guys…


	12. Games Don't Scare Me, Part II

_(Cut to a trailing shot of the NEMOS walking through the DESERT, heading back to CAMP after the CHALLENGE. DOT is very close to COURAGE, protecting him from conversing with the OTHERS._

NORBERT

(Smiling, walking up to COURAGE)

So…Courage. _Coraggio. _Those buoys..….slippery, eh?

COURAGE

(Quietly)

I...I have no comment, Norbert…

DOT

(Ushering COURAGE forward)

Less talking. More _walking._ Walk, walk, walk…

* * *

_(Cut back to the CAMP, several minutes later. SONIC and NORBERT sit around the CAMPFIRE, tending to the flames, engaged in a deep conversation. _

_DOT and COURAGE are nowhere to be found. _

_WAKKO sits in the SHELTER, nursing a BRUISE on his arm from one of the CHALLENGES. TIMON crosses over and sits in the SHELTER beside him)_

TIMON

(Forcing enthusiasm)

Ah, so you've got some battle wounds! Souvenir to show your brother!

WAKKO

(Smiling a little)

Yeah...well, I think he'd rather see the million dollars…

_(Cut to TIMON in a confessional. Goofy, xylophone music starts playing)_

TIMON

Yeah, yeah, I know everyone watching probably thinks I'm a moron. I've just been sitting back, twiddling my grubby little thumbs, but this is it: this is where I step up and do things and have cool catchphrases and stuff and make America like me. Okay, so I've had Dot and Wakko using me like their cute, little guinea pig. I wasn't going to argue with them. They're a pair. But now... looking forward...this "floating crap" isn't working for me. It's time for the Mighty Meerkat to set forth...

(Cut back to the scene)

TIMON

Wakko, can we talk...over there?

WAKKO

What about _here?_

TIMON

I mean...before your sister comes back. All right, Dot threw the challenge. You know that, right...?

WAKKO

Maybe. I mean, yes. I did. _She_ did. But… it doesn't matter.

TIMON

Because...?

WAKKO

(Slowly)

Well...because if Courage is with us now...then we're safe. Right?

TIMON

(Rubbing his eyes)

Okay, so let me get this straight...you're _okay _that your sister threw a challenge without telling you?

WAKKO

It doesn't matter.

TIMON

Wak, Wak, _Wak..._you're killing me.

WAKKO

_How?_

TIMON

(Counting with his fingers)

Let me just give you a run-down…. Norbert wants Dot out. Sonic? _He_ wants Dot out. I'm just being real with you: a lot of people in this game want your sister _gone. _She's not fun to live with.

WAKKO

That's _new…._

TIMON

(Solemnly)

And...I'm just telling you this...because—

WAKKO

_No._

TIMON

Okay, but—

WAKKO

The answer is _"No!"_

TIMON

Okay, but just – hear me out—

WAKKO

_(Trying to stay patient)_

Dot is my sister! Do you really think—

TIMON

_Okay!_ I was just...y'know, I wanted you to be, like, _aware,_ man— that's all.

WAKKO

I _am._ Yes. But she's my _sister. _And I'm_ not_ voting her _out—!_

TIMON

Okay! Okay! I feel you, I feel you! I just wanted you to be aware. I wasn't talking about, like, voting Dot _out _or anything—um—

(WAKKO shakes his head, stepping away)

I...I have a sister! I think—

WAKKO

You _think?_

TIMON

Well, I don't really talk to my family. But – y'know, if I_ do_ have a sister, and she, um, exists, and she was here…yeah, I'd feel the same way.

WAKKO

(Cutting him off)

Well, I'm not _mad _at you. Just, like, be aware…there's lines you shouldn't cross...

TIMON

Okay! Well, case closed then! We're friends okay…

WAKKO

_(After a moment)_

So….how can I trust you now?

TIMON

_(Putting out a hand)_

Hey man, cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. I swear on my mother. I swear on my uncle. My _best_ friend. I swear on my...um…my sister, who may or not exist—You, Dot, and _me –_ I'm your honorary brother out here. All right?

_(WAKKO stares at TIMON's hand. No response)_

WAKKO

Don't compare yourself to Yakko…

_(WAKKO gets up and storms away. TIMON is left shocked, holding out his hand)_

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional. He's biting down hard on his tongue)_

WAKKO

I'm not going to sit there, and smile like happy-go-lucky Wakko. I'm _done…._

* * *

_(Cut to TIMON walking out of CAMP. For whatever reason, he looks very upset. He scans the horizon, apparently searching for someone)_

_(Cut to TIMON In a confessional)_

TIMON

We're _done._ Case closed. Now, I do what I gotta do…

_(Cut to a cluster of bushes on the outskirts of CAMP. SONIC and NORBERT are picking BERRIES, but they're mainly discussing strategy. TIMON wanders up beside them)_

TIMON

(Rubbing his hands together)

Hey guys...so is this the "super-secret-let's-vote-out-Dot club?"

NORBERT

That's not a secret, Timon. If you think it is, you've got bigger problems…

TIMON

Well, I want Dot out too.

_(SONIC and NORBERT look at each other. They start laughing at him)_

_What?_ What's so funny?

SONIC

(Laughing)

Yeah, there's no alliance here, Timon. Sorry. But you're welcome to pick some berries!

NORBERT

(Turning to face him)

No, no, tell us – what could _you _gain from voting Dot out?

TIMON

(Sitting down beside them)

Well, let me tell you….

_(Cut to NORBERT in a confessional)_

NORBERT

So, Timon comes over. He gives us this spiel about how he's on the bottom... feeling "used" by Dot and Wakko, wanting to, like, get off on a new foot I guess. And I'm like, "Um, am I being pranked?" Hello. This is _amazzeeeeeing. _I don't even have to start alliances anymore. They form themselves for me…

_(Cut back to the BUSHES. TIMON is in the middle of a heated explanation)_

TIMON

So we convince Courage to side with _us._ Four against two...and then Dot, out the door!

NORBERT

(Stroking his chin)

But what about roping in Courage? You think he'll listen?

TIMON

Well, Courage is terrified. It's not helping that Dot's watching over him like a hound. He might love to side with us. It'll give the kid his sanity back, y'know?

NORBERT

(Standing up)

So, do you think_ I_ should talk to him or—?

TIMON

(Smiling darkly)

Us _three, _Norb. We should _all _talk to him.

NORBERT

You're sharp...

* * *

(Cut back to the SHELTER at CAMP. DOT and COURAGE are laying inside, tired, lounging. COURAGE is visibly uncomfortable around DOT)

DOT

So when I first got here, when they weighed me on the scale, they were like, "Hmm..._interesting, _you're heavy for your height." And y'know, I just nod at them, whatever. But you _should_ be extremely mindful when you're talking about a girl's weight though. I mean, not my weight, obviously – but—

COURAGE

I...I don't think you're fat

DOT

Thank you! You're not fat either!

COURAGE

So...can I please go to the bathroom now?

_(Cut to COURAGE in a confessional)_

COURAGE

Like, I don't know, I guess she thinks if I go away to pee, I'm going to change my vote. I mean, I'm voting_ with_ you. Calm down…please...

_(Cut back to the SHELTER. WAKKO walks up to DOT and COURAGE, looking frightened)_

DOT

(Waving him over)

There he is! My other half! Come join us! Courage and I were in the midst of a rousing discussion about obesity—

WAKKO

_(Taking a deep breath)_

Dot…

DOT

Yes brother of mine? How are you? How goes it?

WAKKO

Timon's...flipping…

DOT

SAY WHAT?

WAKKO

He's talking to Sonic and Norbert now—

DOT

WHEN?

WAKKO

He—

DOT

WHERE IS HE? That jungle rat. Oh, I should've known—

WAKKO

Dot—

DOT

(Throwing things into her knapsack)

...Measly, grub-faced traitor. Could've left him for dead, you know that? Could've voted him out at the first Council if we wanted to…but no, we took _him in._ We helped him – and this? _This_ is what we get? _Great. Great..._well, I'll tell you what, we're going to hit those guys with everything we've _got. _Courage, what are our numbers?

COURAGE

Um...three.

DOT

And theirs?

COURAGE

_Three._

WAKKO

(Impatiently)

That's the _problem,_ Dot. We're _tied. _They want Courage's vote. There's_ three_ of us. Three of them, so—

DOT

(Annoyed)

Okay. So…then...what happens when there's a tie—?

WAKKO

The rules say…if you _read _the rules, you'd know that if there's a tie, we draw rocks. It's random. Whoever draws the purple rock gets voted out— so – here's what we're going to do: if we scare them into thinking we'll _tie,_ we can—

DOT

(Raising her hand)

Nope.

WAKKO

What?

DOT

(Shielding WAKKO's face)

No _pizz-azz._ No shock factor. Not humiliating enough. Come on, Wakko. You know better than that. We have to make it funny. Like Yakko would have done. Any ideas, Courage?

COURAGE

_(Rising)_

...Yeah. Uh, actually—

WAKKO

(Swatting DOT's hand out of his face)

Okay, whatever you're thinking Dot, you're _wrong._ Being funny, goofing around, it isn't going to help us win this. It isn't going to redeem Yakko. I'm right. You're _wrong._ Case closed. Now, listen to me: you're going to sit there, and hear my plan for tonight, and—

DOT

(Ignoring WAKKO)

Any _ideas,_ Courage?

WAKKO

Listen! C'mon!

COURAGE

(Disturbed)

...Um, guys listen , I'm not like, a family counselor or anything but I really think—

DOT

Forget Wakko. He's dumb. He's like that. That's who he is—

COURAGE

Um—

WAKKO

Hey Dot, guess what? They're voting you _out_!

_(WAKKO storms out of the CAMP. DOT tries not to look at him. She stares at COURAGE, intent, trying her best not to cry)_

DOT

So what was your plan, Courage….?

COURAGE

_(Noticing her tears)_

Umm…Dot….

DOT

(Wiping her face)

Oh no, no, I'm _fine._ Just...something in my eye. What's your plan, silly?

(No response. COURAGE is lost for words)

Nothing….? Okay then…don't worry. It's going to be_ fun._ Lots and lots of fun... getting rid of Norby… A blast_. _So let me think…um, I'm trying to think of what Yakko would do. My _other _brother. Who doesn't suck. Yes. Yakko would...let's see, what would Yakko do here? If Yakko was here…

_(Concerned for her, COURAGE reaches out and places a hand on DOT's shoulder. When he touches her, something breaks. DOT can't hold it together anymore. She bursts into tears, covering her face. COURAGE just stands beside her, lost for what to do)_

COURAGE

Well, hey….um, I get Wakko was being rude..but maybe if we both…if we _both_ talked to him—

DOT

(After a moment)

...It's this _game,_ Courage. This game changed _him._ So much. Wakko….he's _mean _now. He can't laugh. He can't joke around with me anymore. It's just...this stupid game. I hate it...

(She pauses, sucking in her breath)

I want my brother _back. _I just want my brother back…

(Pause. She sits there, staring into space. COURAGE watches, struggling to think of what to say)  
...Did...did Wakko say I'm going home tonight…?

COURAGE

Well, he _did_ but—

DOT

(Cutting him off)

Well, then so_ be_ it….

(DOT gets up and storms off, leaving in the opposite direction to WAKKO. COURAGE stands there, watching, lost for words)

(Cut to COURAGE in a confessional)

COURAGE

I can't take this anymore. It's _crazy. S_o Wakko and Dot are just going to leave the game hating each other? Over my_ dead_ body…

* * *

(Cut to COURAGE kneeling in the bushes. He holds a stone in his hand, rubbing it hard against the sand. He has also lain out fabric and rope on the ground. He tinkers with the materials, putting some kind of necklace together)

COURAGE

So my plan right now…my _only _plan actually...is to make a _fake _Idol. I'll give it to Sonic or Timon…make them think _Dot _has the Idol. They'll split their vote with me between her and Wakko...and I'll pretend I'm voting _with _them. Then, on the actual vote, I s_witch_ my vote to Norbert...and Norb goes home. Far-fetched, yeah...but a guy's got to dream…

(He inspects his fingers, bruised from scraping the rock)

...Ugh, the things I do for _love…_


	13. Games Don't Scare Me, Part III

(Cut to a cluster of boulders out near the DESERT. TIMON, NORBERT, and SONIC are out in the DESERT, engaged in a huddle.

WAKKO spies on them from behind the ROCK. He seems to be working up the strength to walk up to them. COURAGE, cautiously, peeks behind the ROCK, holding his FAKE IDOL. WAKKO notices him)

COURAGE

(Smiling)

What's wrong? You gonna go over?

WAKKO

What?

COURAGE

Well, you clearly want your sister voted out...so go over. Talk to them. No one's going to stop you.

(WAKKO glares, giving him a death stare)

... Are you going?

WAKKO

No.

COURAGE

Why? They'd _love_ to have you.

WAKKO

Buzz off, Courage. Lose us another challenge.

COURAGE

Actually…Courage doesn't live here anymore.

(He tosses WAKKO the FAKE IDOL)

I brought you a present.

WAKKO

What?

COURAGE

Look at it.

WAKKO

(Handing it back)

An Idol? Whoop-ee.

COURAGE

(Snatching it back)

No. A _fake_ Idol. I want to help you. Dot wants to quit now. It's your choice, Wakko. You can go over there with those morons and get your sister voted out, probably never forgive yourself for it – or we can shake things up.

WAKKO

(Startled)

Wait, Dot wants to quit?

COURAGE

Yes.

WAKKO

When did she say that?

COURAGE

Do you care?

WAKKO

Yes, I _care_!When did she _say _that?

COURAGE

Just now.

WAKKO

Are you sure?

COURAGE

I was _there._

WAKKO

Ugh…what am I _doing…._

(WAKKO stomps off, heading back toward CAMP. COURAGE jogs beside him)

COURAGE

(Quietly)

Wait – don't – don't talk to her right now—

WAKKO

I am. I have to—

COURAGE

But you shouldn't—

WAKKO

Well, that shouldn't be any of your business.

COURAGE

(Forcefully)

Ugh, listen—

WAKKO

Go away!

(COURAGE steps in front of WAKKO, blocking his path)

COURAGE

_Stop!_

WAKKO

You're really testing me here, Courage—

COURAGE

(Stammering)

Yes. Yes. I'm annoying right now…but I'm annoying because _you're _annoying…because...because I want us _both_ to get further in this game, and I need you. You need me. I am begging you: stop. Please. Stop. Listen.

WAKKO

(Giving in)

...What?

COURAGE

(Shaking the IDOL in his hands)

Okay. I have a fake Idol here. Yes? Idol equals fake. Do you see this? Do you process it? Good. So...with this Idol, we can trick the others into splitting the votes. We can vote out _Norb…_Do I have to repeat myself?

(WAKKO stares at the FAKE IDOL. He takes it from COURAGE's hands, inspecting it. Then he sighs, tossing it back to him. He rubs his eyes, exasperated)

COURAGE

(Getting annoyed)

So I kind of have to know – now, if you're on board for this – like, _now—_

WAKKO

Yes. Fine. We'll use it tonight, we'll figure it out – but right now, I…I have to talk to Dot. Just…wait—

COURAGE

(Worried)

Couldn't _you _wait?

WAKKO

For what?

COURAGE

She's angry—

WAKKO

Yes. I _know._ I know she's angry. She's my sister. The last time she was angry, she kicked a whole threw our TV set! So unless you want to get your teeth knocked out, wait – stay here…

COURAGE

But she doesn't _want _to talk to you—

WAKKO

Oh, and she's bouncing to talk to you—

COURAGE

That's not what I meant.

WAKKO

She's known you for what, like a day and a half?

COURAGE

(Impatiently)

I'm not your family - okay? I'm not _pretending_ to be your family – but if you talk to Dot right now, well, think about it: she's angry. She is going to freak out – have a total meltdown – again. It's just going to make things worse for us—

WAKKO

How would _you _know?

COURAGE

You said she'd knock my teeth out—

WAKKO

Which she _will._

COURAGE

(Cutting him off)

…But what's stopping her from knocking out _yours?_ Because you're her brother? Trust me...Dot's not in any position to help right now. At all. So...if we want to fix this, we have to do it ourselves.

(He holds out a hand, offering a truce)

You on board?

(WAKKO stares at COURAGE's hand. He looks furious but he seems to be thinking. He nods, stepping back...but he doesn't take COURAGE's hand)

WAKKO

Okay. I'm on board. Yes.

So_...this_ is what we're going to do…

* * *

(Cut to several minutes later. COURAGE sits in the SHELTER, minding his own business. DOT's knapsack is sitting beside him. SONIC jogs in from the DESERT, followed by TIMON)

SONIC

Ayyy Courage!

COURAGE

(Trying to smile)

Sonic….

SONIC

The challenge BEAST! What's going down, hombre? We've been looking for you…

COURAGE

You don't say…

SONIC

Yeah, you're invisible around here! You're a ghost. …..I mean...well, like, not because you're quiet – but—

TIMON

(Cutting him off)

What Sonic means is...we've got a proposition—

(NORBERT runs in from the DESERT, joining the group)

NORBERT

Hey Courage. Sorry, out of breath—

COURAGE

(Cutting him off)

Great. Great. Well, um…while you're all here, I thought I'd let you guys in on a little secret.

(COURAGE fishes into DOT's knapsack, pulling out the FAKE IDOL)

TIMON

Oh, you've got to be kidding me—

SONIC

Dot has an Idol?

COURAGE

That's what I'm seeing.

TIMON

Ugh, I told you! We shouldn't have let her wander off. I told you—

SONIC

_You_ were on her old tribe. What if she found it there?

NORBERT

(Reaching for the IDOL)

Let me see that—

COURAGE

(Passing the IDOL to NORBERT)

Well, it's fragile. Be gentle—

NORBERT

(Smiling)

Fragile? Courage my friend, this is a prop for a television show that produces millions of dollars in revenue. Surely it wouldn't be "fragile…"

TIMON

(Looking at the IDOL)

What's the sitch, Norby?

NORBERT

(Inspecting the IDOL)

Hmmm...let me see...

Actually...

COURAGE

(Holding his breath)

Yes?

NORBERT

...This might be the real deal, boys.

COURAGE

(Relieved, under his breath)

Yes…

NORBERT

Found it in her bag, kiddo?

COURAGE

I did.

NORBERT

(Smirking)

Hmmm…espionage? Doing some snooping?

COURAGE

(Snatching the IDOL back)

Can I have that back? Thank you. Now, what I'm saying is...if Dot has this Idol, and there's four of us, let's split the votes. Two of us for Wakko, two for Dot. So either way, one of them goes home...even if we have to revote.

NORBERT

Who votes for who?

COURAGE

I'll go with either.

TIMON

(Whispering to NORBERT)

He's lying…

NORBERT

Shhh, shhh. Be nice…

COURAGE

(Unable to hear TIMON)

Um, this isn't rocket science, guys…

NORBERT

(Taking the IDOL back from COURAGE)

Hmmm…yeah, but we've got to wonder though...what if this_ isn't_ an Idol?

COURAGE

It is—

NORBERT

(Putting his finger to his lips)

Shhh, shhh – one at a time. Be respectful. Now, what if this is all a tactical diversion, and behind the scenes, _you're _actually scheming to get one of us out?

COURAGE

(After a moment)

Well...

NORBERT

Yes?

COURAGE

(Looking over his shoulder)

Wakko and Dot had a fight...umm…

NORBERT

_Yes…?_

COURAGE

It's nuts. They're crazy. Um, I mean—

(WAKKO storms into CAMP, angrier than we've ever seen him. He stomps around the CAMPFIRE, yelling into space)

WAKKO

STUPID GAME! STUPID DOT! STUPID TRIBE! UGH! I'M GOING TO BREAK SOMETHING!

(WAKKO kicks a BASKET of fruit hard. The fruit goes flying in different directions. He storms back out the way he came. Everyone watches, transfixed, lost for words)

TIMON

(Breaking the silence)

Damn.

COURAGE

...See?

NORBERT

(Disturbed)

...Well...I guess we'll take your word for it…

(He offers a hand. COURAGE is too nervous to notice)

...Hello? Handshake?

COURAGE

(Taking NORBERT's hand)

What? Oh yes, yes. Thank you. I'm sorry.

NORBERT

Y'know, we were going to blow off some steam. Go for a jog—

SONIC

(Gently)

Yeah, come with us!

COURAGE

(Cutting him off)

Um, thanks guys. Thanks. But when I was with Dot today, she was always hovering around me, and she wouldn't let me pee, and I really, really need to pee now so—

NORBERT

Okay. Okay. Your bladder comes first!

COURAGE

Thanks!

SONIC

(Shaking COURAGE's shoulder)

Catch you later!

(SONIC, NORBERT, and TIMON walk off together. TIMON looks back at COURAGE, distrustful, clearly not buying this. COURAGE doesn't notice. TIMON shakes his head, walking out after the OTHERS. COURAGE sits there alone. He breathes a sigh of relief)

COURAGE

I was about to pass out…phew…

(WAKKO rushes out from the TREES. He jogs over to COURAGE)

Wakko, that performance! You deserve an Oscar!

WAKKO

(Not smiling)

Did they buy it?

COURAGE

(Excitedly, raising his hand for a high-five)

Yes! They did! They actually bought it! YES—

WAKKO

_Good._ Move out…

(WAKKO jogs out into the DESERT, leaving COURAGE behind, waiting for the HIGH-FIVE. COURAGE looks annoyed. He shoves the FAKE IDOL back into his own KNAPSACK. Then he puts on his KNAPSACK)

COURAGE

(Muttering)

Dot's right. The game has changed him…

(COURAGE leaves the CAMPSITE, trying to keep up with WAKKO. As they leave, TIMON creeps back slowly toward the SHELTER. He was just out-of-sight, listening to them the whole time)

TIMON

(Muttering)

Oh, Courage...you little rat…

* * *

(Cut to SONIC and NORBERT, running through the DESERT together, engaged in a RACE. SONIC, obviously, is several YARDS ahead. NORBERT trails behind him, huffing and puffing, trying to keep up)

SONIC

(Calling back to him)

Come on Beaver! Burn some FAT!

(Cut to NORBERT in a confessional, looking ecstatic)

NORBERT

I'm in heaven, America! PARADISE! My enemy – no wait, sorry – my pest, the brat I've had to deal with this entire game, is getting what she deserves – finally – well, her or Wakko, but whatever. You don't understand. I can feel my brain cells coming back. I'm ALIVE again! If I had wine right now, I would toast it, but I don't, so y'know what, I'm going to whistle for you. Enjoy!

(NORBERT smirks and starts whistling Beethoven's "Ode To Joy")

(Cut to several minutes later. NORBERT and SONIC, exhausted, are walking through the DESERT together, catching their breath)

NORBERT

(Panting)

_Phew.._..Y'know, everything with Courage back there…

SONIC

Yeah?

NORBERT

Yeah, kind of reminded me of something my Dad said to me once...

(SONIC yawns, bored, uninterested)

...Before I moved out of our dam. He said, "It doesn't just come down to what you do, Norb. It's who you meet, who you talk to." Like, with Courage with us back there...God, that kid's so lucky…he has no idea…

SONIC

(Annoyed)

Oh yeah, man. We saved him. Yeah….

NORBERT

...So...I feel like I don't know anything about you, Sonic! Who art thou? Where'd you come from? How about your parents? Are you close with them?

SONIC

(Looking down)

Nah...

NORBERT

(After a moment)

...Okay, just wondering. So yeah...my Dad though— before I left to come out here, he was telling me—

SONIC

(Cutting NORBERT off)

I'm an orphan, Norb…

NORBERT

Oh.

SONIC

_Yeah._

NORBERT

Oh. Wow. Sorry—

SONIC

No, it's fine, man—

NORBERT

Like, since birth or…?

SONIC

(Scratching his head)

Well yeah...I mean, it's not a big deal though.

NORBERT

Uh-huh….

SONIC

I mean, if I had known my parents, I wouldn't be "me" anymore. Things would have been different. Y'know? So...it's cool.

NORBERT

(Quickly, trying to recover)

Yeah! Oh, yeah...I mean, if I hadn't moved out of my parents' dam, I wouldn't have met my girlfriend, I wouldn't have, um...let's see, what else—

SONIC

(Jokingly)

Maybe you wouldn't be here.

NORBERT

(Laughing)

TRUE! "Why Mom and Dad?" "Why?" "Why did you condemn me to die on this TV show?" Yeah, I should've stayed with them, right? Free-loaded like a bum…God…

(Cut to SONIC in a confessional. He's tapping his feet, smiling, but visibly uncomfortable)

SONIC

Okay, so Norb's making me antsy. Getting the jitters here, y'know? The guy's a talker – which is awesome – but sometimes I'm just like, "Whoa, whoa, hold up. We've still got a game to play here, dude. Don't get ahead of yourself!" Like, I love this game. People scrambling, making moves, it's nuts...but you got to stay grounded. If not, you'll walk Team Sonic over a cliff…

(Cut back to SONIC and NORBERT walking through the DESERT. NORBERT swings his arm around SONIC's shoulder, walking toward the SUN with him. SONIC punches him playfully)

SONIC

(Brightly)

So...what were you saying about your Dad?

NORBERT

(Dismissively)

Eh, nothing, forget it. Wanna race again?

(TIMON storms into the scene, crossing up to SONIC and NORBERT)

NORBERT

You've been awhile...

TIMON

(Impatiently)

Okay. That was _not _an Idol. They're voting for one of us….

(Cut to SONIC in a confessional)

SONIC

If there's one thing I can't stand – and trust me, it's hard to get this guy mad – it's when my friends can't listen to each other. We're all out here together; we're starving, we're sick. And attacking each other isn't going to help, but I guess Timon and Norb haven't learned….

(Cut back to the DESERT. NORBERT stares at TIMON, puzzled, not really understanding what he's saying)

NORBERT

(Scratching his head)

All right...so you're saying Courage—

TIMON

(Trying to stay calm)

Courage made a_ fake_ Idol. Yes. He's voting with Wakko and Dot tonight. He's trying to get us to split the votes so they can take one of us out. Do you follow that, Norbert?

NORBERT

(Scratching his chin)

Hmmm…I feel you. I feel you…_but…._

TIMON

But what? Do you want to go spy on them? I'll go.

NORBERT

It's fine…

TIMON

I'll go_ with_ you. I'll show you—

NORBERT

(Putting a hand on TIMON's shoulder)

Let's talk first.

TIMON

(Swatting him off)

...You don't believe me?

NORBERT

Well, let's not rush ourselves—

TIMON

You don't believe me.

NORBERT

I do. I do— but—

TIMON

Only you don't – at all—

NORBERT

_Listen—_

TIMON

Norbert— just—

NORBERT

(Raising his hand)

Shush. _Shush._ Can I share my thoughts? Please? Can we all share our thoughts here? Thanks. Now Timon...I get where you're coming from. I do. You don't trust Courage…but I'm going to be blunt here – all right? You're…a _tad_ paranoid.

TIMON

A _tad?_

SONIC

(Trying to step in)

Okay...let's just…let's just stop for a second—

TIMON

(Ignoring SONIC)

Courage – is - _tricking _us! Black-and-white. Clear as crystal.

NORBERT

(Trying to smile)

He's not.

TIMON

(Pleading)

They're going to vote you _out_…

NORBERT

Courage is with _us._

TIMON

(Stepping closer)

He's _not._ I'm not leaving – not until you believe me—

SONIC

(Trying to butt in)

Well, maybe we should bring Courage over here – like, so just so he can give his opinion too, so—

NORBERT

(Laughing)

No! Courage didn't do anything! _Okay_...provide me with three logical reasons – three – why Courage would turn on us. Go.

TIMON

Because he IS_—_

NORBERT

"Because _he IS?"_ Well, if you're not giving me anything, I can't BELIEVE you!

(Pause. TIMON searches for words)

Yes? What, you've got a stutter now?

TIMON

(Blurting it out)

Do you want me to flip? Listen. I'll flip— right back to the Warners—

NORBERT

Oh yeah, they'll welcome you back!

(TIMON stands, furious, trying to think)

...I mean, you _did_ just randomly align with us – out-of-nowhere. We have no reason to trust you—

TIMON

(Shaking his head)

Ugh…Norb….you're killing me...

NORBERT

I'm waiting. Make your point.

TIMON

(After a moment)

...Courage isn't Daggett...you know that, right?

(Awkward silence. NORBERT stares at him, irritated...almost like he saw this coming)

NORBERT

...Come again?

TIMON

(Lowering his voice)

...I know why you want to protect Courage...okay?

It's your_ brother_._ That's_ why. Courage reminds you of Daggett. Courage is… he's a schlep, he's weak, he…Courage doesn't belong out here, let's face it. So…he's just like Daggett. Well…you don't want to go through what happened on Gertie – not again – so to make yourself feel better about that now Norb...you have Courage. _You _are_ using_ Courage-

SONIC

(Shocked)

Hey, hey, that's enough—

NORBERT

(Struggling with his temper)

_Fine._ It's fine.

(A pause)

So…is there _any_ way of convincing you Courage is with us?

TIMON

No.

NORBERT

(Scratching his chin)

Okay...well, let's think here...

_(As NORBERT and TIMON argue, SONIC notices something in the BUSHES. He glances at the OTHERS, exhausted and annoyed. Then he kneels down on the ground, digging his FINGERS through the BUSH)_

NORBERT

(Putting on a smile)

Well...okay, what do I have to do? What do_ I_ need to do to keep you from flipping?

TIMON

_Believe_ me. That's all I'm asking for, Norb. Courage is pulling a fast-one and I'm trying to stop him...

NORBERT

(Rolling his eyes)

So...you're saying if we talk to Courage now...you think he'll crack?

TIMON

(Forcing a laugh)

Yes. _Jesus!_ All of this for nothing..._yes,_ that's what I'm trying to tell you...

NORBERT

Well...let's go talk to him...

TIMON

Finally!

SONIC

(Touching something in the bush)

Hey, uh, Norb...

NORBERT

But I want YOU there, the whole time... I want you front and center, right where I can see you...

TIMON

(Shaking his head)

Yeah – babysit me, why don't ya. You'll feel like a dingbat when he's lying—

SONIC

Guys- GUYS!

NORBERT

(Turning to face him, annoyed)

What?

SONIC

Timon's right, Norb! It's fake!

TIMON

YES! How do you know?

SONIC

...Because Dot can't have an Idol. I just _found_ one…

(SONIC holds up what he just found in the BUSHES: a real IMMUNITY IDOL, almost identical to the one that COURAGE made earlier. NORBERT and TIMON stare at it, astounded)

SONIC

And I'll play it tonight…but you guys have to promise. For the rest of this game...you'll _shut up._

* * *

(Cut to TIMON in a confessional)

TIMON

So I'm not likin' Norbert. If we were back home, I wouldn't help him the guy if he got stampeded by a buncha wildebeest. But he has an Idol...or Sonic does now, and Sonic's his puppet. They have a _real_ Idol. So y'know, I can't fight the current. Hakuna matata. That's _that._ Dot…Dat…Dit, whatever-her-name is…chick's history.

(Cut to TIMON, SONIC, and NORBERT, sitting closely together in the SHELTER. They inspect the IDOL that SONIC found in the DESERT)

SONIC

So really...it doesn't even _matter _where Courage falls tonight!

NORBERT

Exactly! Correctamundo! Let's let Courage vote for one of us tonight. Doesn't matter. We'll see his colors come out. If he votes for Dot, then fine, awesome, he's _with_ us. But if he doesn't...well, then he's got questions to answer….

SONIC

(High-fiving NORBERT)

BOOYA! BLINDSIDE TIME! We've got this...

(NORBERT stands up in the SHELTER. He hops out and crosses to a STUMP, hopping up like an ANNOUNCER. SONIC is amused. TIMON struggles to look interested)

NORBERT

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, tonight marks the dawn of a new day. The Survivor Gods, observing Tribal Council from the high heavens, will look down in awe, reverence, and pity at the beautiful vote-out of Dot Warner. Man your posts. Arm the cannons. Fill your battle stations!

TIMON

(Quietly

Do you have to get so dramatic?

NORBERT

Aww Timon...you know you're my favorite. Come here.

(NORBERT jumps back into the SHELTER, forcing TIMON into a hug)

BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG HUGGGG!

TIMON

You're - crushing me...

* * *

**A/N: Stay tuned for the fourth and final part of Episode 5, where the sixth contestant will be voted out!**


	14. Games Don't Scare Me, Part IV

**Chapter 14: Games Don't Scare Me, Part IV**

* * *

_(Cut to several hours later._ _DOT sits on the outskirts of CAMP, perched on top of a CLIFF. The sun is setting, casting rays of light across the trees below. DOT is no longer crying. __Behind her, NORBERT emerges from the BUSHES. He crosses to DOT, smirking, looking at her from behind. Then he taps her on the shoulder. DOT shrieks)_

NORBERT

_Boo._

DOT

(Catching her breath)

Oh, kill yourself why don't you…

NORBERT

Didya think I was an animal?

DOT

(Glaring at him)

…_.No…_

NORBERT

...Well, this is a first, isn't it?

DOT

What?

NORBERT

No disgust? No repulsion? You're not forcing me to _leave? _Guess you don't hate me after all...

DOT

(Not looking at him)

Actually, I'm _waiting _for you to leave.

NORBERT

(Moving closer to her)

What if I don't?

DOT

I'll pretend you're _dead._

NORBERT

(Smiling)

Scoot over, Dot? There's room for both of us.

_(They sit in silence. DOT sits on the cliff, staring out at the DESERT, struggling to ignore him. NORBERT grins at her)_

NORBERT

(After a moment)

Hmm. So...I got a question for you…

DOT

_Yes?_

NORBERT

…Just a _little_ question….

DOT

Go.

NORBERT

Why did you willingly sign up for this horrible game with your family?

_(DOT shakes her head. She gets up, ready to leave)_

Aww, you're bailing?

DOT

Yes.

NORBERT

Why—?

DOT

Because I don't have to answer that!

NORBERT

Why?

DOT

Why_ should_ I?

NORBERT

Fine. _Fine._ Go. I claim this _rock._ This rock is mine. All right? _Cool._ Au revoir _Dottie…._

(DOT glares for the "Dottie" remark. She sighs, turning to leave)

But...one of us_ is_ getting voted out tonight. You don't want to talk about that...?

DOT

Nope.

NORBERT

_C'mooooon…._

DOT

I'll pass...

NORBERT

C'moooooon—

DOT

_Passing._

NORBERT

(Reclining on the rock)

... Well, I'll be _waiting..._

_(DOT marches away from the CLIFF, trying to block out NORBERT. Suddenly, from the BUSHES, COURAGE emerges. DOT notices but keeps walking. COURAGE jogs to keep up with her)_

COURAGE

Dot! _Dot!_

DOT

(Wearily)

_What…?_

COURAGE

(A little scared)

Okay…so we tricked them. All right? They're splitting the votes tonight. They think I'm voting with them – that you have an idol. So…you're _not _going home—

DOT

(Shocked)

Wait – for real?

COURAGE

(Scratching his head)

I – I believe so.

DOT

"_For-real-for-real?"_

COURAGE

Yeah….um—

DOT

OHMYGOSHCOURAGE!

_(DOT steps forward, hugging COURAGE hard. Too hard. He gasps for air)_

DOT

(Almost throttling COURAGE)

YES! I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU—

COURAGE

(Lost for words)

I – I love you— too—

DOT

I want to adopt you! Wait – wait, are you _housebroken?_

COURAGE

Well, if you'd had let me pee today, you'd know the answer. Hey – can you put me down?

_(DOT, for some reason, finds this hysterical. She dumps COURAGE on the ground. She falls with him, grinning up at sky)_

COURAGE

Yeah, yeah, it's great – for us. I'm really happy...

(He lowers his voice, nervous)

But you really should…um— talk to Wakko...

DOT

_Oh…_

COURAGE

_Now?_

DOT

Well—

COURAGE

Because like...I know you guys are in a weird position right now...but just, going forward now, I feel like— I just want to make sure—

DOT

_(Cutting him off)_

Shush. Shush. _Okay._ I'll talk to my stupid brother...

COURAGE

Well, okay – but—

_DOT_

_(Putting her hand on his shoulder)_

It's all good. _Chill. _He's _my _problem. Not yours.

COURAGE

(Trying to laugh)

All right. Cool. Cool!_ Roger that….Great._

_(Cut to COURAGE in a confessional. He's smiling a little now)_

COURAGE

I've always been _"that guy."_ Y'know? Like…the guy who's scared of squirrels...and mosquitos...and…basically anything that moved or had claws… But being out here...I don't know, this game's kind of fun now!

* * *

_(Cut to NORBERT in a confessional)_

NORBERT

Yeah. I messed with her head a little. But that's the _game._ I just...I_ had_ to break up Wakko and Dot. That's the end of it. I mean, why is that so hard for you people to get? This isn't happy-fun-lets-hold-hands-and make-arts-and crafts-hour, America. This is a game. And I never had to get my hands dirty either…

_(Cut back to the CLIFF. NORBERT is sprawled out on the ROCK snoring. The time for council is fast approaching. DOT crosses back out from the BUSHES. For a second, she seems to consider retreating. Then she takes a breath, stepping forward. She taps NORBERT on the shoulder)_

DOT

_...Hey. Norb. _Scoot, scoot. Move your tush-

NORBERT

Whassat? Dot?

DOT

How_ are_ you, oh great one?

NORBERT

(Smiling)

Fine….?

DOT

(Wrapping her arms around him)

Good. _Great! _Thought you'd like some company, that's all. Shall we enjoy the evening? Watch the sunset? Sip some wine?

NORBERT

(Shaking her off)

Well, if this is a _love story,_ it's a tragedy…

DOT

(Excited)

Oh, do I knock you off the _cliff?_

NORBERT

(Smirking)

Think.

DOT

What?

NORBERT

Because one of us—

DOT

(Embarrassed)

...Yeah, yeah, one of us is going home… I...I _knew_ what you meant.

NORBERT

Only you didn't.

DOT

Shut _up._

NORBERT

(After some silence)

...So… that question before?

DOT

No.

NORBERT

Pretty please?

DOT

(Coldly)

Why should I answer?

NORBERT

You'll never see me again….

DOT

_Great._

NORBERT

...And you're okay with that? If you're too scared to answer_ Dot_…then don't I technically _win?_

DOT

_No?_ _What?_

NORBERT

_Psssh._ …Whatever….forget it...

_(Pause. He searches for words)_

…But look…this game…don't take any of this personally, Dot. It's just a game. That's all...

DOT

(Cutting him off suddenly)

So...with your smug grin and my superiority complex and...and watching everyone pick each other off like vultures…it's just a game? You disgust me, you know that? You're a chauvinist. You're a liar. And I've met multiple celebrities, so I want that to sink in for you. This is a game. But to me, it brings out who you are. And I've seen the truth...

(Silence)

NORBERT

You really hate me, don't you?

DOT

What was your first clue?

NORBERT

(Slowly)

If you get voted out tonight at the Council…I promise...I'd _take _Wakko to the Final Two.

DOT

(Exasperated)

What? I just wanted an apology, Norbert. Don't pull this strategy crap-

NORBERT

(Getting louder)

What were you saying? I'm the worst person you've ever met in your _life? _Well, vote yourself out tonight. …see what I do with Wakko. I'm a beaver of my word…

_(DOT just stares at NORBERT, lost for words. NORBERT raises his eyebrows. He smiles at her and walks off)_

* * *

_(Cut to a few minutes before COUNCIL. SONIC stands behind the SHELTER, waiting for a last minute meeting. He is holding the IMMUNITY IDOL, now wrapped in a GREEN CLOTH. NORBERT emerges from the BUSHES, still annoyed after his conversation with DOT. SONIC approaches_

SONIC

So we're good?

NORBERT

(Quietly)

Yeah. Just…just hold onto the Idol. You know the _rules..._the only way they can get possession of it—

SONIC

(Finishing for him)

Yeah, if I _gave_ it to them. Right. Right. I'm not an idiot!

_(NORBERT sighs and walks off. SONIC looks concerned for him, but he shrugs it off. Slowly, the camera zooms into the TREELINE. We see WAKKO standing there, holding a LARGE BUNDLE OF FIREWOOD. _

_He has been watching the whole conversation. WAKKO looks at SONIC coldly. He takes a deep breath. Then very quickly, WAKKO hurries out from the TREES. Purposely, he bumps into SONIC. He drops the FIREWOOD. SONIC, however, drops the IMMUNITY IDOL)_

_SONIC_

Oh – hey – sorry—

WAKKO

(Picking up the firewood)

Howdy Sonic!

SONIC

_Wak!_ Hey. Hey. Um, what's going down—

WAKKO

Same old, same old….

SONIC

(Laughing nervously)

I feel you there man. Feel you there….

_(SONIC scrambles on the ground, searching for the IDOL. WAKKO notices. Very quickly, WAKKO reaches under his hat, pulling out the FAKE IDOL that COURAGE made. He snatches the REAL IDOL that SONIC dropped. WAKKO shoves it under his shirt…but not before pulling off the GREEN CLOTH over it. Before SONIC can realize, WAKKO wraps the same GREEN CLOTH around the FAKE IDOL. He nudges it toward SONIC)_

WAKKO

Hey, um, I think you dropped something…?

SONIC

(Grabbing the FAKE IDOL quickly)

What? Oh thanks. _Thanks._

(Awkward pause)

...Well, until Council tonight!

WAKKO

Until _Council!_

_(SONIC runs of off, holding the FAKE IDOL close to his chest. WAKKO smiles, watching him go. He walks away humming, "Turkey In The Straw.")_

* * *

_(Cut back to the SHELTER. TIMON, SONIC, NORBERT, and COURAGE are mulling around, collecting their BACKPACKS and TORCHES for TRIBAL COUNCIL. DOT sits by the SHELTER, surveying from the side, already packed._

_WAKKO peeks out from behind the SHELTER, glancing over at his sister. He smiles. Then he steps out, approaching her. We see him holding NORBERT'S CANTEEN, the same one they threw in the TREE together earlier. Grinning ear-to-ear, he dumps all the WATER out over DOT's head)_

_DOT_

_(Drenched in water)_

WHO – WHAT – WHERE? WAKKO?

WAKKO

Got you!

DOT

(Confused)

What?

WAKKO

Hey, hey, come on, why the long face? There's games to play, people to trick, blindsides yet to come….hey, hey, before Council, let's throw Norb's canteen into the river!

(He starts to jog off, waiting for DOT)

You coming or what?

DOT

I'll…I'll be right there…

WAKKO

FABOO!

(WAKKO dashes off. DOT watches him leave. Slowly, a big smile spreads across her face)

DOT

_(Smiling)_

_You're back…_

_(DOT jogs off into the DESERT, running into the SUNSET after her BROTHER)_

* * *

(Cut to TRIBAL COUNCIL later that night. The NEMOS enter the center area, each carrying their respective TORCHES. They place their TORCHES on their POSTS and sit down on the log. The HOST stands at his podium, watching as they arrive)

(Cut to WAKKO in the voting booth)

WAKKO

Please don't leave luggage attended. Thank you for flying Air Warner….

(Cut to DOT in the voting booth)

DOT

I'll give you this. Yesterday, I hated you. Now, I strongly_ dislike_ you. Say hi to your brother…

(Cut to TIMON in the voting booth)

TIMON

Sorry guys….I do what I gotta do.

(Cut to COURAGE in the voting booth)

COURAGE

Well, this is for everyone that said I'd be voted out first. Thank you. Good night….

_(Cut to SONIC in a confessional)_

SONIC

Bada-bing! Bada-_boom!_

_(Cut to NORBERT in a confessional. He doesn't say anything. Behind him, he's vaguely aware that DOT, COURAGE, and WAKKO are laughing. NORBERT just smiles, rolling his eyes. He writes down a name and walks out of the BOOTH)_

_(NORBERT sits back down, joining the OTHERS. The HOST enters from the HALLWAY, holding the URN of VOTES. He sets them down on the PODIUM)_

HOST

If anyone has a hidden immunity Idol, _now_ would be the time to play it…

_(A short silence. SONIC rises from the LOG, reaching into his KNAPSACK. He walks with a bounce in his step, crossing to the HOST with the IDOL)_

SONIC

Hey, so I'm playing this for my main man Norb…

HOST

This marks the _second time_ somebody has played an Idol to save Norbert.

NORBERT

(Winking)

It's just the charm…

(SONIC sits down, giving NORBERT and TIMON high-fives)

HOST

As the rules of Survivor state, when a hidden immunity idol is played, all votes cast for that person will not count. The person with the next highest amount of votes will be asked to leave immediately. This is…_not _a hidden immunity Idol….

(The HOST tosses the IDOL into the FIRE PIT in the center. It starts to burn, turning into ashes. NORBERT, TIMON, and SONIC are aghast)

DOT

(Giggling, fanning herself)

Oh my God, I can't. This is _too _much.

WAKKO

(Muttering)

Yes!

SONIC

Did they plant that on us?

NORBERT

(Frantic)

No. It's still tie though. Three against three—

HOST

I'll now read the _votes…._

(WAKKO raises his hand. He starts to reach into his KNAPSACK)

WAKKO

Excuse me – Host Man? Found something in the woods….Thought the Three Stooges over there might have a look…

(He pulls the REAL IDOL out of his BAG)

I'd like to play this for Dot please?

_(WAKKO crosses to the HOST, handing him the IDOL. He crosses back to the LOG, sitting down. DOT, excited, squeezes his shoulder)_

HOST

This is indeed a hidden immunity idol. All votes cast for Dot will not count…

(TIMON slams his fist in his lap. SONIC pats NORBERT's shoulder, sad, dejected. NORBERT closes his eyes, ready for the inevitable)

So unless there's any more surprises...I will now read the votes….

* * *

**FIRST VOTE…**

**DOT (doesn't count)**

**SECOND VOTE…**

**DOT (doesn't count)**

**THIRD VOTE…**

**DOT (doesn't count)**

**FOURTH VOTE…**

**NORBERT**

**FIFTH VOTE…**

**NORBERT**

**SIXTH VOTE…**

**NORBERT**

**Sixth person voted out of Survivor: Animation Brawl…**

**NORBERT**

* * *

(Cut to the TRIBES' reactions. DOT pumps her fist, high-fiving WAKKO. TIMON and SONIC are furious. COURAGE nods thoughtfully, watching NORBERT. NORBERT stares at the final vote, surprised...but part of him saw this coming. NORBERT shakes his head, laughs a little. Then he gets up, turning to collect his TORCH)

NORBERT

Well...you've got a long, long road ahead of you. Sayonara. I'm getting drunk.

_(NORBERT crosses over to the HOST, placing his TORCH in the POST. He waits for his final words)_

HOST

Norbert…the tribe has spoken.

_(The HOST puts out the flame on NORBERT's torch. NORBERT just grins, amused with the dramatic nature of the whole thing)_

Time for you to go…

_(NORBERT starts down the hallway, whistling the "Animaniacs" theme song. He exits the GAME. The HOST turns to face the NEMOS)_

HOST

Well, I've got to say…I've sat in at a lot of Tribal Councils...but right now, even I'm clueless. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp.

* * *

**VOTE TALLY**

**COURAGE voted for NORBERT**

**SONIC voted for DOT (did not count)**

**NORBERT voted for DOT (did not count)**

**TIMON voted for DOT (did not count)**

**WAKKO voted for NORBERT**

**DOT voted for NORBERT**

* * *

A/N: Ugh, this probably marks the first time that voting off a character was difficult. Up until this point, the boots have been people who really had it coming - Katz, Zim, and Yakko - or people like Daggett and Dog who just left too early for me to become ultra-attached to as their writer.

I really_ liked_ Norbert - which might not show in the context of the story, since I kind of portrayed him as an asshole, but I hope your opinion shifted on him a little over time. There's a lot of things that are true about Norb - he's condescending, he's kind of lazy, and he sort of piggy-backs off the work of other people. Still, I tried to show real moments of weakness where you got a clearer sense of what goes on in his head. Norbert loved Daggett - and after he was voted out, it didn't just do a personal blow to Norbert's reputation, but also his integrity. I think he's used to getting what he wants, and it was genuinely hard for him to recover after Daggett's blindside.

I guess if you were to separate the characters in this story into good and evil, Norbert would probably be a villain - still, it's worth considering: did he really do anything that villainous? Was he really that bad or was it just Dot overacting after she learned that Rita and Norbert didn't like her? I guess that's for you to decide. Anyway, I really liked Norbert. I also believe that when he told Dot at the end that he'd take Wakko to the end, he may have very well been telling the truth - or at least considering it -but I guess we'll never know.


	15. The Life I Choose, Part I

_(A shot of clouds over the valley, the moon shining down on the river. Thunder rumbles. A crack of lightning. Rain starts to pour, filling the stream)_

_(Cut to the GERTIES' SHELTER. CAT, RITA, and MARVIN are huddled together, sleeping, struggling to stay warm. CADPIG and DODGER clearly want no part in this. They have distanced themselves to the other side of the SHELTER, even if it means they are getting SOAKED._

_CADPIG shivers in the dark, curled up in a ball. Rain spills through a crack in the roof, hitting her in the face. DODGER, sitting beside her, is not faring any better)_

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional. He is standing in the rain, jumping up and down)_

DODGER

Food's soaked, shelter's soaked, but I've still got it, kids! DODGER'S FIRED UP!

_(Cut back to the SHELTER. RITA and MARVIN are holding each other close, trying to keep warm) _

RITA

(Whispering)

Hey Marvin...you know what I hate _most_ about dogs?

MARVIN

_(Trying to sleep)_

I couldn't imagine...

RITA

When it rains…they make the whole shelter smell like wet carpet….

_(DODGER glares over at RITA. He pushes himself further away into the corner of the SHELTER. There is a cracking sound. Part of the roof caves in under the rainwater. It begins to pour on DODGER's head)_

DODGER

Oh...forget this….

_(DODGER shakes his head and crawls out of the SHELTER. Stirring, CADPIG glances up and notices. She climbs out of the SHELTER after him)_

_ (Cut to CADPIG in a confessional, wrapped in a blanket, shivering)_

_CADPIG_

Okay…so it's thundering outside, pouring relentlessly, freaky-deaky lightning flashing in front of our eyes, and what does he do? He goes _outside. _He leaves the comfort of our shelter, like, "Hey God, I'm Dodger, SMITE me!

_(Cut to the OUTSKIRTS of CAMP. DODGER is dashing up a CLIFF, rain pummeling him in the FACE. He reaches the top and lets out a mighty howl, echoing across the DESERT. He stands there alone, shaking his fur, letting the rain soak him_

_(Behind him, CADPIG slowly makes her way up the CLIFF. She squints through the RAIN, glancing up at DODGER)_

_CADPIG_

DODGER? WHAT ARE YOU _DOING?_

DODGER

(Noticing her)

Ehh…leave me alone, kid! I'LL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE!

CADPIG

But this is...this is…YOU'RE GOING TO GET ELECTROCUTED!

DODGER

_ (Muttering to himself)_

Can't get a freaking minute of privacy out here…

_ (He turns back to CADPIG)_

I'll be down in a second, Cad, ALL RIGHT? Alone time. I just...I got got to relax a little— calm my nerves—

CADPIG

(Climbing up to him)

No. No. Dodger…I don't know if you've noticed, but there is a massive, scary, freakish lightning storm. _OKAY?_ DO YOU SEE THAT? And we are standing at a high elevation. Are you_ aware_ of what happens to people who do that?

_(A bolt of lightning strikes down in the VALLEY. CADPIG screams, holding DODGER close. DODGER shakes her off)_

DODGER

(Annoyed)

Yeah, fine, we'll have it your way….Let's go back to camp.

CADPIG

I know it's hard. It's not fair that Rita and Marvin are, like, _bullying _you all the time but—

DODGER

(Laughing)

"Bullying me?" You think I care what that alley cat and that...that…whatever-the-hell-Marvin-is...you think I care what people think of me, Cad? I'm fine. I'm great. I'm _loving_ it out here— this is great stuff.

CADPIG

_(Not believing him)_

You love it so much you got to run into a lightning storm?

_(A deafening rumble of thunder. DODGER forces a smile at her and turns around. He starts to climb down the CLIFF)_

DODGER

Fine. Let's head back….Come on, hurry up, don't be a slowpoke…

_(DODGER starts to make his way down the CLIFF. CADPIG watches him, exasperated, worried)_

CADPIG

_(Muttering to herself)_

Oh, Dodger…what's going to happen to you….

_(A bolt of lightning strikes a TREE right by the CLIFF, incinerating it. CADPIG screams and hurries off after DODGER)_

CADPIG

AUGHH! DON'T KILL ME, PLEASE! I'M JUST A PUPPY!

* * *

_(Cut to the following morning. An aerial shot of Death Valley, the sun peeking over the horizon. The storm has ended and the VALLEY's trees are wet with RAINWATER. The camera zooms in on the SET of the CHALLENGE. In the middle of a clearing, there are colored posts set up, each with hundreds of strands of rope connected to them. This creates the illusion of a massive spider-web. There is also a MAGNIFYING GLASS attached to the end of each ROPE, as well as a small staircase on the side. At the top of each POST, there is a small NEST of TWIGS to start a FIRE)_

_(The HOST stands in his USUAL SPOT, watching as the GERTIES enter. They take their place on the BLACK MAT)_

HOST

A very wet good morning to all of you…

_ (The NEMOS begin to enter, taking their place on the WHITE MAT)_

HOST

Gertie, getting your first look at the new Nemo tribe. _Norbert..._voted out last night at Tribal Council…

_(Cut to the GERTIES' reactions. MARVIN, CAT, DODGER, and CADPIG never knew NORBERT and just seem relieved that he's gone. RITA, however, looks astonished. She seems to want to be happy, but something about NORBERT's demise bothers her)_

_HOST_

Ready to get to today's immunity challenge?

_(The NEMOS and GERTIES applaud, ready for action)_

First thing's first….you guys have been out here a good amount of time. It's starting to sink in...the dehydration, the starvation, the lack of hygiene. Timon, what's it like to have the bare essentials stripped away?

_(TIMON seems a little spacy. He's glaring at the ground, standing far apart from COURAGE, WAKKO, and DOT. SONIC stands with him)_

Timon…?

TIMON

(Startled)

_What?_ Oh yeah…well, I live out in the brush. You know, it's not like I'm taking a bath every day of my life to begin with…

DOT

Yeah. We noticed…

HOST

But more than anything, the most challenging aspect might be the element of surprise. Trying to sleep at night, knowing your tribe mates are plotting their next move…watching people go on walks together…wondering who you can still trust. Rita, over there on Gertie…do the constant surprises out here put you on edge?

RITA

_(Laughing a little)_

Well, from the way you're talking, it looks like we're in for another one…

HOST

And I'm happy to say that you'd be _right._ Everybody….drop your buffs. Nemo and Gertie…are no more. You are officially _merged._

_(The TWO TRIBES are ecstatic, jumping for joy. DODGER takes his BLACK BUFF off. He stomps on it, grinding it into the ground. SONIC punches his fist in the air. He crosses over to the GERTIE MAT, slapping hands with MARVIN and CAT. CADPIG wastes no time either. She dashes over to the WHITE MAT, seizing COURAGE, throwing him into a hug)_

CADPIG

YOU'RE ALIVE! YOU'RE _ALIVE!_

COURAGE

I AM!

CADPIG

AND YOU SMELL TERRIBLE! BUT I SMELL TOO, SO THAT'S AWESOME! LET'S DO THIS!

_(CADPIG high-fives COURAGE. The PRODUCTION CREW enters the SET and passes out PURPLE BUFFS to everyone. They drag in a PURPLE MAT, instructing the old NEMOS and GERTIES to stand together. EACH CONTESTANT takes a PURPLE BUFF, putting it on)_

HOST

All right…your new tribe name is _"Fantasmagorie"…_again, like Nemo and Gertie, named after one of the oldest cartoons in existence…

SONIC

_(Bewildered)_

Wait, what's a cartoon?

HOST

However, do keep in mind…this is no longer a team game here. When you put on those buffs, you began competing for individual immunity. While your alliances may stay intact, it is now every man or woman for themselves…Now, you guys ready for your first challenge?

_(The FANTASMAGORIES clap their hands and holler, ready to start)_

Okay, here's how it's going to work. In front of you, there is a tangled mess of rope between these ten posts. Each of you will be assigned a different color. On my go, your job is to untangle all of your _rope._ Once you've completely freed yourself, you will pull off the magnifying glass from the end of your rope. You will climb your _post._ Using the materials at the top, you will use the magnifying glass to harness the sun's rays and start a fire. First one to flame wins. For the winner? Individual immunity. For everyone else...vulnerability at Tribal Council tonight and the possibility of losing a million dollars. Any questions….?

Then let's get _started…._

* * *

_(Cut the CHALLENGE several minutes later. The TEN CONTESTANTS stand at DIFFERENT POSTS around the CIRCLE, each one holding a different colored rope. They hold the end of their ROPES, eyes locked, ready to start moving)_

HOST

Survivors ready? _GO!_

_(The CONTESTANTS take off into the CIRCLE, weaving in and out of each other's paths, trying to untie their KNOTS. Some of them hop over the ROPE. Others crawl under, shoving each other out of the way. It is rough and brutal._

_TIMON is quick to single out WAKKO's rope. Rather than ignore it, he proceeds to tie WAKKO's rope to DOT's, sabotaging them. WAKKO, lost in the mess of people, doesn't even notice._

_DOT and RITA butt heads in the middle of the CIRCLE. RITA grabs DOT's ankle, trying to halt her in her path. DOT claws at RITA, struggling to free herself as RITA just goes on untying her own KNOT._

_COURAGE and CADPIG are working together on CADPIG's rope. CADPIG feeds the slack of the rope to COURAGE, who proceeds to throw it out of her way. They are making good progress._

_SONIC has somehow wrapped himself in his rope. He cries out in frustration, throwing the slack onto the ground. He trips over it and falls on his face._

_ DODGER, CAT, TIMON, and MARVIN have all made decent progress as well._

HOST

Courage and Cadpig taking a _team _approach…not even hiding the fact that they're working together! Dodger is figuring out his knot! He's in a good spot! Cat and Marvin are trailing! Meanwhile, complete disaster for Sonic! YOU'VE GOT TO PICK IT UP!

SONIC

(Throwing his rope on the GROUND)

I HATE _ROPES!_

(DODGER has taken the league. He unties his final knot, hurrying with his ROPE back to his POST. He pulls off the MAGNIFYING GLASS. Then he hurries up the STAIRCASE, ready for the fire-making portion)

HOST

Dodger's in the league! Now he's got to make fire! This is not like using matches! Using a _lens_ is not going to be easy! Now here comes Marvin and Cat! They're finishing up on their knots….

_(CAT finishes untying his KNOT. He dashes back to his POST, pulling off his MAGNIFYING GLASS. He hurries up his STAIRCASE. MARVIN is quick to follow, heading up the top of his own POST_)

_(TIMON has fallen into trouble. WAKKO and DOT have caught on to what he was doing. They're now tying KNOTS in TIMON's rope, trying to stop him from finishing._

_RITA is also having difficulty. Half of her ROPE is now tangled in SONIC's body. She struggles to pull it out, but she ends up dragging SONIC with her. Furious, RITA starts trying to untie him)_

_(COURAGE and CADPIG finish their KNOT. They dash back to CADPIG's post. CADPIG slaps COURAGE's hand, trading off roles. She hurries to the top of her POST, ready for the fire-making)_

HOST

Cadpig's now in this! Timon, Dot, Wakko, Sonic, and Rita…still caught up in their own mess! This is still anyone's game!

_(DODGER struggles to make FIRE. He holds the MAGNIFYING GLASS inches away from the TWIGS, trying to capture the SUN'S rays. Nothing is happening. He wipes sweat from his forehead, trying to stay calm._

_CADPIG sticks her tongue out of her mouth, squinting, aiming for precision. She throws a pile of leaves together in the NEST, holding the MAGNIFYING GLASS above them. CAT and MARVIN are hard-at-work as well)_

HOST

It's come down to Dodger, Cadpig, Cat, and Marvin. Who will get fire _first?_

_(DODGER's leaves are beginning to smoke. He cheers out loud, thumping his fist. However, he accidentally creates wind. The smoke vanishes as quickly as it came._

_CAT is concentrating hard. He glances up at the SUN, shielding his eyes, trying to calculate the right angle…_

_MARVIN leans in very close, eye-level with his NEST. His expression hasn't changed since the beginning. Slowly, smoke begins to rise from his clump of leaves…._

_CADPIG catches smoke as well. She throws blows on the smoke, trying to make it catch…_

_MARVIN picks up his CLUMP of LEAVES, holding them like a ring bearer holding a cushion. He raises them slowly, carefully above his head. The sun parts through the clouds, bathing the clearing in light. _

_Finally, with a soft crackle, MARVIN's leaves catch fire…_

HOST

MARVIN WINS IMMUNITY! SAFE AT TRIBAL COUNCIL!

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. The other CONTESTANTS stand on the PURPLE MAT, watching as MARVIN steps toward the HOST. Some clap reluctantly. Others, like _RITA,_ can hardly hide their approval)_

_HOST_

First individual immunity win….

MARVIN

(Smiling)

And they'll be many more to come. I can assure you of that…

(The HOST secures the IMMUNITY NECKLACE around MARVIN's neck. He thumps him on the shoulder, gesturing to the OTHERS)

HOST

_Marvin…._safe tonight at Tribal Council, now guaranteed a one in nine shot at a million dollars. As for the rest of you...I've got nothing. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp….


	16. The Life I Choose, Part II

_Cut to the old NEMO camp. The NEW TRIBE stands around the SHELTER, watching as SONIC lowers the OLD NEMO FLAG. In its place, he hangs up the new purple FANTASMAGORIE flag)_

SONIC

All right ….out with the old, in with the new! Long live Fantasma….Fantasma….what was tribe-name again?

RITA

Fantasmagorie. It's Spanish.

SONIC

¡ESPANOL! AWESOME-O!

CAT

(Whispering)

Um, it isn't Spanish. It actually derives from the Roman—

RITA

(Nudging CAT)

Shut up. He's fun to screw with…

(Cut to SONIC in a confessional)

SONIC

Well, here we are, True Blue's still alive. Meeting some people, breaking the monotony a little. I could have come barging in y'know, guns blazing, saying stuff like "Hey, align with me. Let's vote out so-and-so!" But rather than _force_ them all to like me, I'm just going to let it happen. It does happen. Most of the time. I think…

(Cut to CADPIG and TIMON standing on the side, watching as SONIC struggles to put up the FLAG)

TIMON

(Watching SONIC)

Not the brightest one out here, is he?

CADPIG

_Hmph._

TIMON

(Laughing)

More losers…better for us, right? I'm Timon by the way. So…you and Courage are close. Helping each other in challenges…tag-teaming…not even trying to hide it?

_(COURAGE crosses over, stepping beside CADPIG)_

COURAGE

Something I can hear too?

TIMON

(To CADPIG)

No. Whatever. Watch out for your boyfriend, sweetie. If you're looking for love…you're on the wrong show….

_(TIMON crosses away, shaking his head. COURAGE glares at him, fuming, too angry to speak. CADPIG puts her hand on his shoulder)_

CADPIG

Don't get your tail in a knot—

COURAGE

(Forcefully)

I'm _fine._ Don't I look fine?

CADPIG

You look dehydrated and gross and icky and you look like something I found under a rock once when I was chasing bunnies at my farm.

COURAGE

(Jokingly)

Yeah…well, and I was going to say you looked fine. Bet someone feels awful now…

CADPIG

Kay, well, if we're going to insult each other all afternoon Courage, let's do it with some food in our bellies? Do you guys still have your rice?

COURAGE

Well, yeah…but we have like ten people here now so—

CADPIG

YEAH, EPIC RICE PARTY, MAN! LET'S DO IT!

COURAGE

No. I mean...we should save our rice.

CADPIG

Why?

COURAGE

...Um, so we don't starve

CADPIG

What happened to you? You're all serious and stuff...

_(The sound of a helicopter flying overhead. CADPIG and COURAGE look up, shielding their eyes from the sun)_

CADPIG

EGAD! IT FLIES!

COURAGE

What's it doing?

_(Cut to a shot of the helicopter. Somebody inside throws out a package tied to a PARACHUTE. It starts to float down, setting to land somewhere out in the DESERT. Scattered around the CAMPSITE, the OTHERS notice. They start to run off into the DESERT)_

CADPIG

(Getting serious)

Okay….never mind, this might actually be important—

COURAGE

I'm running, Cad!

CADPIG

Faster! Hustle, hustle, hustle!

(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)

DODGER

So we're all just lounging around there, passing the time…and out of nowhere, a helicopter dumps this package out into the desert. At first those bozos don't know what to make of it. But hell, I high-tail it!

* * *

_(Cut to the TEN CONTESTANTS dashing out into the DESERT. SONIC charges in front, making a big league on the OTHERS. DODGER, WAKKO, RITA, and MARVIN are all clustered together in second, dashing across the SAND. CAT, CADPIG, COURAGE, and CAT are all very far behind)_

SONIC

(Yelling back to the OTHERS)

Hey, hurry up guys! I'm not even sweating!

CAT

SHUT YOUR IDIOT MOUTH, SONIC!

_(SONIC predictably reaches the BOX first. He tears it open. When he glances inside, he holds his hands to his heart)_

RITA

Oh man, he got there first…

MARVIN

_IS THERE AN IDOL? IS IT AN ADVANTAGE?_

SONIC

(Grinning)

Would you all care to join me for a picnic?

_(SONIC knocks over the BOX. BARBEQUE CHICKEN topples out as well as SEVERAL BASKETS of FRUIT. EVERYONE cheers, jumping for joy, hugging each other. SONIC notices a note clipped to the BOX. He takes it off and reads it aloud)_

SONIC

"Attention Fantasmagorie Tribe"….as a reward for making the merge, please take the time before Council tonight to fill your bellies. For all you know, it might be your last meal out here….

* * *

(Cut to several minutes later. The TRIBE is back at camp and gathered around a LARGE BLANKET piled with FOOD, enjoying their FEAST. TIMON raises a GLASS of WINE, tapping it a little with his finger to make noise The OTHERS quiet down)

TIMON

On the count of three. One…two….three….

ALL

TO SURVIVOR!

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

_(Cut to RITA and MARVIN at the FEAST watching the chatter. RITA leans toward MARVIN)_

RITA

(Whispering to MARVIN)

Hey, alien boy. We should talk to these people— y'know, about the game—

MARVIN

Patience, Rita.

RITA

You've got the necklace around your neck. What do I have?

MARVIN

You have the Idol...sitting in my pocket.

RITA

Right. Carry on...

(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)

MARVIN

I'm not going to help my game if I'm making toasts and drinking and telling jokes and being the life of the party. If I do that, they're going to _expect_ something from me. So instead, I'm going to sit back with my immunity...and my Idol…and watch the world burn….

(Cut back to the FEAST)

DOT

So do we want to do some introductions? Go around the circle…?

CAT

Why yes, I'll start! _Ahem._ Greetings everyone…salutations. I'm Cat. …Nearburg, Pennsylvania—

DOT

(Cutting him off)

That's nice, Cat. Do you have any siblings?

_(A stiff, hurt silence)_

RITA

(Muttering)

And I thought I was cold. Wow.

WAKKO

(Whispering)

Uh, Dot. Wasn't that kind of unnecessary?

DOT

_(Whispering back)_

No, I told you. We're playing the game now. We're fighting back. He's bad. He's out to get us. He deserves it. Right? That's what Yakko would do...

WAKKO

Well, what Dot meant there was—

CAT

Yes, I know what she meant….

TIMON

_(Breaking the tension)_

_All right. Hey_…so, I'm, uh, Timon…

(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)

DODGER

I know Marvin thinks he's like the mastermind here, pulling the strings, getting everyone voted out. Throughout the whole feast, he's literally just sitting there...watching everyone and not saying a word. I don't know what he's planning…but I've got to get to these people first…..

(_Cut to DODGER during the FEAST. As the OTHERS chat, he reaches across the BLANKET and grabs a handful of NAPKINS. He reaches to the side, grabbing the MARKER they used to write their names on the TRIBE FLAG. _

_Very stealthily, never breaking his eye contact with the OTHERS, DODGER scribbles two notes onto two different NAPKINS. He finishes. Without breaking a sweat, he flicks one NAPKIN onto SONIC's plate. He flicks another onto TIMON's)_

SONIC

Oh Dodge, hey, you dropped a napkin—

DODGER

(_Looking away)_

_…__.Yeah, take it Sonic. It's fine. …_

(A little confused, SONIC picks up the NAPKIN and stares down at DODGER's note. In messy handwriting, it says the following: "DON'T LISTEN TO MARVIN OR RITA. I KNOW WHERE U STAND. COME SEE ME AFTER THE PICKNICK…")

* * *

_(Cut to a bundle of BUSHES in the DESERT, sometime after the PICNIC. The CONTESTANTS have dispersed to different areas, clearly discussing the vote for that night. TIMON and SONIC stand together. They compare the NAPKINS that DODGER handed them both at the FEAST)_

SONIC

Who does he think he is?

TIMON

Well, a hotshot, that's apparent. Yeah Dodge…we'll _align_ with you. We'll align with you, even though you're clearly aligned with Courage, and by default, Wakko and Dot – yeah, sorry, why don't I just bring my torch over so you can snuff it for me?

SONIC

Well, can't blame the guy! He's just looking for numbers! It's just a game about numbers, man!

TIMON

(Crossly)

Yeah, _astute,_ Sonic. So what, are we going to side with Marvin this round?

SONIC

Well, that's just going to tie the vote. The two of us….with Marvin, Rita, and Cat? Then Dodger, Cadpig, Courage, and probably Wakko and Dot. Five against five? You don't have to go to school for this stuff—

_(He throws his arm around TIMON. TIMON flinches, trying to break free)_

BUT DON'T WORRY! WE'VE GOT IT, BRO! IT'S ALL GOOD!

_(Behind TIMON and SONIC, CAT walks out of the BUSHES. He seems dazed, unaware that they're even there. He just stares out at the DESERT)_

TIMON

Cat. Hey. Cat.

_(TIMON approaches CAT. As we get closer, we see that CAT's face is flushed and sweaty. It seems he's walked away so he can be alone. TIMON notices)_

TIMON

Uhh…Cat?

CAT

(Blinking)

Yes. What? What do you want?

TIMON

We're voting with you tonight. Are you going with Dodger?

CAT

Oh. Oh. All right. Well...I haven't spoken to Marvin yet, personally….but yes, I believe so…

SONIC

(Concerned for CAT)

You all right, buddy?

CAT

I'm fine.

SONIC

You don't look fine…

_(TIMON steps closer to CAT, noticing his forehead is very sweaty. CAT wipes his face and backs off. The camera zooms in at CAT's side. When his arm moves out of the way, we see the scar marking the separation of him and DOG. It is purple and looks infected)_

* * *

_(Cut to the CLIFF. COURAGE and CADPIG are lounging on top of the CLIFF, looking out over DEATH VALLEY. They are engaged in a serious conversation. They are munching on a BASKET of FRUIT from the FEAST)_

CADPIG

So…you think we can roll with Wakko and Dot?

COURAGE

I saved them last round. C'mon, you don't believe me?

CADPIG

I don't trust Dot. She seems kind of abrasive...and selfish—

COURAGE

You just don't _know _her yet. Look…you said the same thing about Dodger and then you get stuck on a tribe with him. You guys are partners in crime now…right?

CADPIG

(Looking down)

I mean…I guess that's true….

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional. She looks upset about something)_

CADPIG

You know that movie _The Fox and The Hound _when the characters are little, and they're friends, and they're playing together all the time and they're happy...but then they grow up and they realize one has to be a hound ,and the other is just…well, a foxy-fox? That's what it's like now with Courage now. I don't know. It's like something's changed…

_(Cut back to the CLIFF. CADPIG smiles at COURAGE, edging closer to him. COURAGE is nervous but allows it)_

CADPIG

Man, all this talk about the game—

COURAGE

(Getting annoyed)

Well, because _we're_ playing it—

CADPIG

Come on Courage…there's life outside of "Survivor." Let's talk about something else— anything! Come on, you don't have to strain yourself.

COURAGE

All right. Well….I...I like the river out there.

CADPIG

The river?

COURAGE

It's blue.

_(Silence)_

CADPIG

So, do you have anything else or—

COURAGE

Okay, with all due respect, like, there's a vote tonight, so can we please talk about the—

CADPIG

_(Rather hurt)_

I just…y'know, I wanted to talk. So the game, what do you—

COURAGE

_(Realizing he offended her)_

I mean, if you wanted to talk, I mean—

CADPIG

No, it's fine—

COURAGE

What do you have to say?

CADPIG

(Laughing a little)

Well, I don't know. You're making this so awkward…

_(They burst into weird laughter. They COURAGE notices CADPIG leaning against him. Nervous, not knowing any better, he edges closer to her. She doesn't seem to mind)_

COURAGE

Okay. Well, let's…let's, um, _find_ out more about each other—

CADPIG

Yeah, go. Tell me…okay, tell me_—_

COURAGE

...Yes?

CADPIG

(Excited)

Okay! You're going to tell me three fun things about yourself.

COURAGE

Ohhh, let's see….I…I can cook macaroni. I'm terrified of gerbils. Let's see…one more...gah, I'm so boring, aren't I? I'm pathetic—

CADPIG

Have you ever _kissed_ anyone?

COURAGE

That escalated—

CADPIG

Huh?

COURAGE

Oh no, no. And that's three. Your turn!

CADPIG

That's _okay._ I mean…. but I'm the same way…_ …_

COURAGE

Yeah.

_(Pause)_

I mean, and there's nothing wrong with that-

CADPIG

No! No! When the time comes, silly!

_(COURAGE is incredibly uncomfortable. He looks over at CADPIG. She appears to be in deep thought, searching for advice for him. _

_COURAGE looks from side to side, nervous, wondering if he could go through with this. COURAGE leans forward. _

_Without warning, he kisses CADPIG._

_CADPIG is shocked. At first, she allows it. Astounded. Then she panics. _

_CADPIG shakes COURAGE off. She cries out in fear. She retreats to the other side of the CLIFF. She starts to spit on the ground, getting rid of COURAGE's germs)_

CADPIG

WHAT? WHY? WHY WOULD YOU—

COURAGE

I'M SORRY, CAD! OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH—

CADPIG

YOU TASTE LIKE KIBBLES AND BITS!

COURAGE

I…I THOUGHT YOU WERE LEADING ME ON!

CADPIG

Oh my God…..oh my_ God. _It's fine, Courage. It's….it's fine….

_(Embarrassed and frightened, CADPIG approaches COURAGE. She rests a hand on his shoulder)_

CADPIG

_(Taking her hand off)_

Wait...was…wait…the whole time we were out here together. Was that – was this always what you were—

COURAGE

NO! NO! NEVER! I SWEAR!

CADPIG

Okay, _okay._ Well—

COURAGE

(Alarmed)

Well, are you…are you going to hold it against—

CADPIG

No. I'm not. I'm_ not_. I…I promise. I mean…as long as we need to…do you want to just…give each other…some distance?

(Silence. COURAGE sighs, trying to hold in his tears)

COURAGE

I just…I only wanted to be friends...

CADPIG

We _will_ be. Okay...?

(She pauses, searching for words. COURAGE can't manage to look at her)

Do….do you want me to stay here with you?

COURAGE

(Quietly)

You can go back to camp…

CADPIG

We could walk together…

COURAGE

No. We can't…

_(CADPIG stares at COURAGE, frightened, still trying to piece this together. She nods and starts to walk away, heading back to CAMP. We hear her sniffling, beginning to weep. COURAGE is left alone on the CLIFF. _

_The minute CADPIG is gone, he bursts into tears. He slams his hands on the rock. He grabs the BASKET and dumps out FRUITS. He starts to chuck them over the CLIFF)_

COURAGE

STUPID, STUPID GAME!

_(COURAGE empties the BASKET. He grabs the last item inside, but before he chucks it, he sees that it clearly isn't a FRUIT. In fact, it's some sort of necklace_

_The camera zooms in. We see that COURAGE has just discovered a HIDDEN IMMUNITY IDOL in the BASKET)_


	17. The Life I Choose, Part III

_(Cut to DODGER out in the DESERT, sitting on a ROCK. He squints out at the thicket of bushes, waiting for somebody to arrive. The sun is starting to set behind_him)

(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)

DODGER

So I waited for Timon and Sonic – and waited, and waited, and waited, and those bozos never showed up, so their loss. I'll get some other blood in the bank….

_(Cut to DODGER sitting at the CAMPSITE, resting on a LOG. WAKKO and DOT are sitting on the LOG opposite from him. Everybody else is gone, presumably off talking about the vote)_

DODGER

So I'm just telling you guys up front. Marvin is a creep. I mean…I don't know if he didn't get enough love as a kid, or maybe his heart dried up in space or whatever, I don't know, I'm not one to judge…but you're just bodies to him….

DOT

(Raising her hand)

Okay, well…what influence did you have in voting out Yakko?

DODGER

Knew this was coming…

DOT

As it rightfully _should._

DODGER

Well… here's what happened—

DOT

You gave Yakko a _vacation. _Right?

WAKKO

(Laughing nervously)

I mean, he's enjoying it right now probably. Free food. Gorgeous women everywhere. _Faboo-_

DOT

Shush, shush, brother! _Court_ is in session. I'm running things here. So...why did you vote out Yakko?

DODGER

Yakko came after me first_._ He told the others to vote me out so I turned the tables. So Yes, I voted out your brother. But I'm thinking your family tree's got a little dexterity in it, Dot? Can you lower a branch? Throw a dog a bone?

_(WAKKO tugs at DOT's arm. He looks very restless. Annoyed, DOT is resigned to go with him. She smiles at DODGER)_

DOT

_(Waving to DODGER)_

Wait here. Eat some candy! Read some magazines!

DODGER

_Kay…_

_(DOT hurries off, dragging WAKKO by the arm. DODGER glares at them, not certain of whether or not he should follow)_

* * *

_(Cut to WAKKO and DOT, walking together in the DESERT nearby)_

WAKKO

Okay, so I think we're thinking the _same_ thing...

DOT

Duh! Two parts of a three-way brain! We're like the same person!

WAKKO

(Counting with his fingers)

...So on the count of three. One. Two. Three. Tonight, we're voting out—

DOT

Dodger!

WAKKO

…_.Rita…_

(Pause)

DOT

Let's try that again—

WAKKO

Well, Dot—

DOT

Let's blindside him. He doesn't suspect anything! And we could even adopt him, when this is over! I'm adopting Courage—

WAKKO

(Quickly)

Yeah, yeah...but could we really…_gain_ anything from doing this, Dot? I mean, going forward?

DOT

He's a_ threat_. He's tight with Courage. I don't like Dodger.

WAKKO

But Dot, Dot, let's think: if we went with Courage, if we aligned with Cadpig and Dodger…we would be _five—_

DOT

_Five…_

WAKKO

Yes.

DOT

(Smirking))

That's still a locked _vote,_ buddy.

WAKKO

(Looking down)

I…I know—

DOT

So what are you _saying?_

WAKKO

(Getting firm)

Well look, I'm_ all_ for joking around. Like, I'm _glad_ we're having fun now, and the drama's over, and like, things are normal and- -

DOT

(Cutting him off)

No, it's great! This is fun! But yeah we're _not_ keeping Dodger, Wakko...

WAKKO

But—

DOT

(Cutting him off)

Let's break Courage away from Dodger and Cadpig. Then, the three of us align with Cat, Rita, and _Marvin. _Then Dodger's gone. And just to appease you, next round, Rita can go next. I don't like her either...

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional)_

WAKKO

My tongue is tied. Literally. Tied-up. Big, slimy knot. Why can't I argue with her? It's like, I am literally carrying my family on my back here. If we mess up, or we do something wrong – Dot's going to be voted out – and Yakko's already voted out— and – I mean, we're going to be humiliated. I just feel like – past joking around – messing with people – my family doesn't know each other. And if we get humiliated here…I don't know what's going to happen to us…

_(Cut back to DOT and WAKKO, standing out in the DESERT. WAKKO has a forced smile on his face, trying to think of how to respond to his sister. DOT stares at him, waiting for an answer)_

DOT

_(After a moment)_

So…you want to go talk to Marvin?

WAKKO

(Quietly)

…Yeah. _Yeah…_

DOT

Louder, "silent one". I can't _hear—_

WAKKO

(Trying to smile)

Yes, Dot. I'll do...anything you say...

* * *

_(Cut to the SHELTER. CADPIG is curled up in the corner, wrapped up in a blanket. She has just finished bawling her eyes out. She sits there sniffling, staring out into space. Suddenly, SONIC pokes his head into the SHELTER)_

SONIC

Dude, are you crying? Did someone hurt you..? Whoa, whoa, Blue Wonder's here. Counseling time, all right? Let me pop a squat. What's up?

CADPIG

(Finally breaking)

... I...I don't want to talk about Survivor…

SONIC

(Sitting down beside her)

"Survivor?" Hey, they can cancel that show! This is, like, blasphemy, dude. I'd rather watch Jeopardy—

_CADPIG_

It's just…Courage…we were sitting together on the cliff…he

SONIC

(Cutting him off)

What happened?

_CADPIG_

I mean, I_ led_ Courage on…

_(SONIC stares at CADPIG. For some reason, he seems bothered by this)_

SONIC

Well, how did _that _happen?

CADPIG

(Getting heated)

He pushed me too far…

SONIC

Well….it wasn't _right_ to lead him on—

CADPIG

What…you think I don't _know_ that, Sonic? I'm not trying to, like, incriminate anyone here. I'm just…I'm taking my time now. Here. Personally. In a few minutes, I'll be fine….

SONIC

(Annoyed)

But look, look, as someone who's watched the two of you since you got here, I think it's been a little...I mean, it's been pretty_ obvious_ that Courage liked you. You guys were like conjoined at the hip since Day One—

CADPIG

I like making friends! Can friends exist now?

SONIC

But you don't think it's a bit much? Not even a little? Come on, when you're smothering somebody, and all over them, and talking about friendship, you don't think—

CADPIG

That's who I am, okay?

SONIC

_(Scratching his head)_

Well…we could get Courage over here. You guys could talk a little, hash it out. I mean, I work with people. I solve problems. I'm, like, a life coach. Do you want to do that?

CADPIG

I'll solve my own problems, idiot…

_(CADPIG gets up and crawls out of the SHELTER, wiping her eyes. SONIC stares at her, bewildered, wondering what he did wrong)_

* * *

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

_DODGER_

So I decided to organize a meeting….with the Warners…Courage…and Cadpig…

_(Cut to DODGER sitting at the CAMPFIRE. The area is barren aside from WAKKO and DOT, both of whom are sitting on the LOG beside him. DOT seems bored. WAKKO is smiling nervously. They wait for the OTHERS)_

DODGER

So, uh, you guys ever been to New York?

DOT

(Yawning)

Sorry. There was a really engaging mosquito buzzing in my ear...

_(COURAGE steps out from the tree line, crestfallen, staring at the ground. WAKKO is relieved. Still bored, but interested by COURAGE's presence, DOT turns and smiles at him)_

_DODGER_

There he is! Your friends are here, man! They were just telling me. What was that play you made last round? A fake Idol?

COURAGE

(Dismissively)

Sorry, did you get a chance to talk to Sonic or…?

DODGER

(Concerned)

You seem frazzled—

COURAGE

Yeah, well, besides the scathing sunburn and the bugs and the lack of water and the lack of food, I'm _peachy._

(Reaching into his knapsack)

Okay, look, I've got to _show_ you guys something…

_(COURAGE reaches into the BAG, ready to pull out the IMMUNITY IDOL. The moment he does, CADPIG parts her way through the TREELINE. _

_COURAGE notices. He sighs and shakes his head. He hides it back in the BAG)_

DODGER

AYYYYY CADPIG! THE SPOTTED BANDIT!

CADPIG

_(Forcing a smile)_

Dodger…

_(CADPIG looks at COURAGE questionably. He gives her a weak nod, encouraging her to sit down with them. CADPIG accepts. She sits next to DOT)_

DOT

HEY! I'M DOT! I don't think we've met yet, like, officially—

CADPIG

(Forced laugh)

No, I was just thinking. Like, on the first day you were all like, "CALL ME DOTTIE AND YOU DIE!" So, I was like_, "Okaaaay,_ taking a step back..."

DOT

HAH! Yeah, _not_ a good idea – but the Dottie thing mostly applies to men—

CADPIG

What happens to the men?

DOT

They get voted out.

CADPIG

(Dramatic)

DUN-DUN-DUN!

_(CADPIG laughs again but it's very unnatural. COURAGE glares at her from the other side of the CAMPFIRE. She tries to ignore him)_

DODGER

_(Speaking loudly)_

So…what we're thinking right now is the five of us, plus Sonic hopefully, we dump votes on Rita – I mean, personally, I don't really _think_ she's a threat, but to weaken Marvin right now, that's _probably_ our best option—

WAKKO

_(Trying not to look at DOT)_

Can you…can you elaborate on that a little? For everyone?

DOT

_(Muttering)_

_Snoresville…._

DODGER

Yeah, sure! I mean, the way I figure it, we're five strong – even if Sonic doesn't stay with us _after_ this round, we'll have majority anyway. So, after _that _we go Marvin, Timon, Cat, and I don't know, I guess Sonic, we'll see what happens there – but the point is guys – that keeps _all of us_ safe for at least four more rounds….

DOT

_(Whispering to WAKKO)_

Come on, let's go talk to Marvin…

WAKKO

Soon. Please. Shut up…

DOT

You're being _weird _again…

_(SONIC steps out of the TREELINE. He seems more upset than we've ever seen him. He crosses over to the CAMPFIRE)_

DODGER

(A little put-off)

Hey, has everyone met Sonic here? Or has—

SONIC

_(Sitting down)_

_Yep…._

* * *

_(Cut to TIMON in the BUSHES. He hides in the TREELINE beside the SHELTER, spying on the OTHERS as they discuss the vote)_

TIMON

_(Muttering)_

_Damn it_…they've got Sonic now too...

_(The sound of a cracking twig behind him. TIMON turns, frightened, ready to face his intruder. There's a rustling in the bushes)_

TIMON

Hey…don't play any games with me, _Marvin_. I'm a single vote here—

_(CAT parts his way out of the BUSHES, having been spying as well. A little nervous, he flashes TIMON a grin)_

CAT

You know, this is kind of like bird-watching…but I mean, birds are less predictable.

* * *

_(Cut back to the CAMPFIRE. SONIC smiles at DODGER as he speaks, staring vacantly but obviously not listening. DODGER seems a little put off by it)_

DODGER

I mean, at this point, I'm going to guess you've had a one-on-one with Marvin…

SONIC

Nope. Just _me._ Sonic the Hedgehog. The lone ranger. ..The guy that's the joke around the campfire while he's out collecting firewood for all of you. But _that's _all in good fun, right?

_(A deafening silence)_

DODGER

What the hell are you talking about?

SONIC

(Taking a deep breath)

Look, I'll _tell _you guys why I'm here. I'm here because...while all of you are running around with your allies, I've got to go on smiling with a bounce in my step. Acting like I'm okay with being at the bottom here. I mean, I've been wandering in circles. Nobody's talking to me…

_(He sighs)_

Well – after talking to Cadpig – that's _really _started to tick me off. So – being an honest person – and I have some news to share with all of you...

* * *

_(Cut to TIMON and CAT in the TREELINE. They squint out at the CAMPFIRE, watching SONIC ramble to the OTHERS)_

CAT

I can't _hear._ What's going on out there?

* * *

_(Cut back to the CAMPFIRE. CADPIG and COURAGE are aghast. WAKKO and DODGER are confused. DOT is excited beyond all belief)_

CADPIG

You wouldn't dare…

SONIC

After what you did to Courage? He's a person too…

COURAGE

_(Standing up)_

DON'T SAY IT, SONIC! I'M WARNING YOU!

SONIC

(Raising his hands)

Cadpig deceived Courage into thinking she_ liked_ him. She strung him along. She tricked him into making a move…

_(COURAGE snaps. He lunges toward SONIC, ready to swing a punch. WAKKO and DODGER intervene in time, pulling him back. They aren't there to stop CADPIG. She crosses over to SONIC, shoving him to the ground. DODGER leaves COURAGE. He pulls CADPIG back, restraining her, trying to stop her from attacking SONIC)_

_SONIC_

_(Standing up)_

IT'S ALL RIGHT! NO CONTACT! I'M FINE!

_(CADPIG is trapped in DODGER's arms, fighting him, trying not to cry. WAKKO tries to restrain COURAGE. DOT still sits on the log, disturbed, unsure of what to think. Suddenly, CAT and TIMON burst out of the WOODS. They jog over to the others, trying to quell the chaos)_

TIMON

HEY, HEY! BREAK IT UP, BOZOS!

_(The scene breaks down into madness. CADPIG and COURAGE scream at SONIC. TIMON and CAT yell at the others, trying to decipher what's happened. DOT pulls at WAKKO's arms, trying to get him to stop arguing)_

_(Cut to a shot of a WINE GLASS clinking)_

_(Some of the TRIBEMATES turn, confused. They glance up and see MARVIN standing near the SHELTER, RITA stands at his side, grinning at the chaos. MARVIN holds a WINE GLASS and SPOON in his hand)_

MARVIN

Everyone…may I have your attention?

DODGER

(Trying to hold CADPIG)

THIS ISN'T THE GAME, MARVIN! THIS IS REAL LIFE!

MARVIN

Well...then when you've finished with the hoops of hurtles of "real life", you can_ redirect _your attention to the game…and what I've about to explain to you.

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

I came into the merge with individual immunity _and_ an Idol. I could've worked myself into a coma…thinking up numbers, math, thinking of who disliked _who _and how to exploit it…but I needed to let them divide themselves. Let the Big Bang transpire…and when it's over, take your pick of the galaxies…

_(Cut back to the scene. MARVIN fishes into his sleeve, pulling out his IMMUNITY IDOL. He holds it up for everyone for the others to see, or at least everyone watching)_

MARVIN

This is a hidden immunity idol. I can assure you, it's very, very real. Tonight, I will be playing it…and I'll be covering _Rita._

_(MARVIN passes the necklace over to RITA. She snags it and throws it over her neck)_

RITA

_(Quietly)_

Thanks…

MARVIN

Rita and I will be casting two identical votes for _one_ of you…_.Who?_ Maybe it's Cat…who's pleaded that he was _aligned _with us only to be caught hiding behind that tree with Timon. Or maybe it's Dodger, who blindsided one of my allies first round and has been throwing up my name ever since. Who knows who we'll vote for? It's Survivor Russian Roulette…and I wish you all the best tonight in pulling your triggers. Godspeed to all of you…and good luck…


	18. The Life I Choose, Part IV

_(About half an hour later. Cut to a shot of CAT sitting in the SHELTER. TIMON sits nearby by the CAMPFIRE feeding leaves into the fire. _

_SONIC stands nearby, leaning against a tree. He seems visibly upset about something)_

TIMON

WHO'S AWESOME? MIGHTY MEERKAT, THAT'S WHO! WE'VE GOT THIS NOW!

SONIC

(Bored)

We know, we_ know._ We heard you-

TIMON

He's going to pull a move on her? I love it! I just_ love it. _This game is great! I'm telling you guys, from here on out, it's smooth sailing—

_(TIMON chuckles and snaps a twig, tossing it into the fire. The camera zooms in on CAT watching from the side, clearly not amused)_

_(Cut to CAT in a confessional. His hands are folded neatly in his lap)_

CAT

Marvin wanted us to divide and rally against Dodger tonight…_yes…_but say Sonic, Timon, and I _aligned_ with Dodger - and not Courage or Cadpig mind, _just _Dodger and hopefully Wakko and Dot. We could say, "Marvin, look, rather than letting you pull the strings here…we're going to _keep_ Dodger this round and we're going to vote _you_ out the second you lose immunity." That's how you take down bullies, you know. I'm very, very persuasive…

_(Cut back to the scene. CAT smiles nervously at the OTHERS)_

SONIC

_(Finally speaking)_

Can we hurry this up please? I have to go.

TIMON

_Where?_

SONIC

To talk to Courage—

TIMON

(Scratching his head)

Eh, well…I mean, _why_ though…why do you feel the need to-

SONIC

I have to see if Courage is okay!

TIMON

What? He's not! That's the point!

CAT

_Timon—_

_TIMON_

It's good Courage isn't okay, Sonic – THAT'S GOOD! He's in a slump now, he's scared, we can use him to our advantage and—

SONIC

(Sighing, holding his arms up)

Okay! I have to go!

TIMON

_Excuse me?_

SONIC

Yeah. Have fun betraying people….

_(SONIC walks off into the TREELINE, shaking his head. TIMON tries to follow him, calling out his name)_

TIMON

SONIC! GET BACK! I'll GO, I'll GO! C'mon, come back! Just-

CAT

_(Standing up)_

Timon, he's _gone._ You're acting like you're five.

TIMON

_(Gesturing out at the DESERT)_

What, he's got to apologize? After that? He's an idiot.

CAT

You can't just attack people like this...

TIMON

I'M NOT! I _like _you guys, you know? You're my friends. I mean, I like you so far at least. I mean, I'm just…I'm trying to stop you from getting us voted _out. Y_ou and Sonic gettin' all jazzed up over Courage and Cad, that _can't_ happen no more, all right? You're turning into marshmellows…

CAT

(Patient)

We know, we _know—_

TIMON

_(Cutting him off)_

Yeah, yeah, hear me out first, all right? I'm not done yet. You've been through a lot Cat, I know …like, with your brother and all- I know how that feels – I've been there – but that's the past now, man. Why do you have to _care_? Let it go. Hakuna Matata. It's not like he matters…

_(A pause)_

CAT

Excuse me?

TIMON

You still thinking about Dog?

CAT

_(Glaring at him)_

That's none of your business.

* * *

_(Cut to the POND, the same spot days before where DODGER, CADPIG, and COURAGE skipped rocks. _

_They sit together in the shallow end, staring out at the sunset. Nobody is talking. COURAGE seems defeated. CADPIG is in deep thought. DODGER's face is unreadable)_

CADPIG

_(After a long silence)_

…So what if we pulled in Cat, Sonic, or Timon…and since Marvin's covering _Rita,_ we convince one of them to flip. We could vote out Wakko or Dot—

COURAGE

They all hate us.

CADPIG

What's up your butt? A cactus?

COURAGE

Just keep brainstorming…

CADPIG

_(Coldly)_

Well you're doing a really good job of twiddling your thumbs, Courage …Can I keep talking? Is that allowed here?

_COURAGE_

We're just brainstorming!

_(Cut to a few minutes later COURAGE is out in the deep end, treading laps in the water, taking some time for himself. DODGER and CADPIG are left alone, watching him from the shallow end)_

DODGER

I think if you guys had met somewhere else…there could have been something. I think you could have been friends...

CADPIG

We were friends.

DODGER

_(Searching for words)_

See, that's actually what's joggin' my interest here. There's a vote going down in like three hours….But rather than scrambling to vote out the guy that tried sailing to first base with you, you're watching him dog-paddle. I mean, are you considering—

CADPIG

No, Dodger. It's like….UGH. …MY BRAIN'S MUSH! I'VE BECOME MUSH!

_(CADPIG falls and belly-flops down into the WATER, laying face-down. She flips over and looks up at the SKY, floating on her back)_

DODGER

(Glancing over his shoulder)

Well, we really do need a plan, kid…

CADPIG

I know. I _know…_I'm still thinking….

DODGER

(After a moment)

So…you want me to check in with the Warners then? I mean, honestly, I don't know how they feel about you at this point— after that whole blowout back there, maybe I should go and—

CADPIG

_(Curious)_

Why?

DODGER

What do you mean?

CADPIG

_(Sitting up)_

Dodger…if you're going anywhere, _I'm_ going with you—

DODGER

_(Quickly)_

Yeah! Where I go, you go!

_(DODGER gets out of the WATER, shaking his fur. He crosses to the shore without looking back at CADPIG. CADPIG seems uneasy about it. She stares at DODGER as he climbs out of the pond)_

DODGER

You coming?

CADPIG

(Locking eyes with him)

Remember how you told me you're a stray?

DODGER

What about it?

CADPIG

I'm just glad you trusted me.

_(DODGER hurries away from the POND. CADPIG glares at him. She turns to COURAGE, still floating back in the POND alone. She watches DODGER's silhouette, vanishing off over the horizon. _

_CADPIG picks up her backpack. She starts walking after DODGER)_

* * *

_(Cut to DODGER In a confessional)_

DODGER

It hurts me to flip. It's like I'm kickin' those kids out into the rain, man, It sucks. But y'know, this is a _game. _I live in this crummy old boathouse in Brooklyn with four other dogs, and yeah, I'm going for the million. If Courage and Cadpig aren't doing it for the Dodge anymore, that's it. No more babysitting…

_(Cut to DODGER sitting at the CAMPFIRE. CAT sits on the log beside him)_

CAT

I wanted to come to you _much_ earlier, Dodger...

DODGER

_(Smirking)_

Oh, I'd bet my life on it, Cat…

CAT

_Well_, we don't have to get romantic here. No, no, this is strictly business-talk…._This _is what I'm proposing. You, me, Sonic, and the Warners—

DODGER

Go on…

CAT

I've _had_ it with Marvin. That nasally voice, Rita eating out of his hand. I want to stand up to him. Don't worry. I can do it. Alone—

DODGER

Uh, do you really think you're capable of that, Cat?

CAT

Of course! I'll have you know, in high school, I was on speech and debate for four years – and I received a coveted seventh-place trophy. Now, we need everyone on board to threaten him. We all confront Marvin and say, "Look, we're _not _going to let you orchestrate this vote. Nobody is going to align with you. Nobody cares about you and Rita throwing your blind votes out into the open. There's six of us, _two _of you. We're voting out, I don't know, _Cadpig or Courage _tonight_…._and if you don't align with us to _do_ that Marvin…the _second_ you lose immunity, we're sending _you_ home…" How's that?

_(DODGER just stares at him blankly, amazed at the stupidity of his plan)_

And of course, if you have any input, I'd be _glad_ to hear that too—

DODGER

So...you're so arrogant that you think Marvin's going to listen to you?

CAT

Of course he will. Why won't he? I can be very intimidating….

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

Sometimes, you have to stroke egos. Bottom line, Marvin has to realize: nobody sees him as a threat. No one cares. So, the best way to do that….is let Cat make an ass of himself and pretend we actually support him…

* * *

_(Cut to the SHELTER. MARVIN sits relaxing, staying in the shade to escape the SUN. RITA sits beside him, eating some leftover cherries from the FEAST. MARVIN is picking the seeds out of a slice of WATERMELON)_

MARVIN

Rita, what are the pink fruits called with the black things inside them? Will you get me another one?

RITA

_(Winking)_

Sure. I'll spit in it...

MARVIN

I love you too...

_(Cut to the edge of CAMP. DODGER, WAKKO, DOT, TIMON, SONIC, and CAT approach in a group. They look over at MARVIN sitting in the shelter, ready to make their entrance. DODGER pulls the group into a huddle)_

DODGER

Let _Cat_ do the talking...

TIMON

Why?

DODGER

Because he's self-absorbed and full of himself. If we all get behind him, Marvin will lose his mind. All right, bases loaded? Let's _go..._

_(DODGER leads the group into the CAMP. RITA returns with a handful of WATERMELON. She notices the OTHERS first and winks at MARVIN)_

RITA

Hey Marvin, geek squad's here...

MARVIN

_(Climbing out of the SHELTER)_

Remember. We haven't decided on anything. We're letting them name their price first...

_(The OTHERS approach. MARVIN rises to greet them)_

Greetings, tribe-mates! I was just helping myself to some of your Earthling delicacies. Care for some watermelon? ...

DODGER

(Accepting the MELON)

Take it, Wakko.

_(He hands it to WAKKO. He smiles and devours it in one bite)_

So Marvin, got to say. Interesting plot back there. You're the talk of the camp…

MARVIN

_(Eager)_

Have you given any thought to the _vote?_

DODGER

(Scratching his chin)

Well, we've done some thinking...

CAT

_(Stepping forward, smiling)_

Marvin, Marvin, Marvin…"allies until the end". My word, where do the days go?

MARVIN

You tried to vote me out, Cat…

CAT

(Rubbing his hands together)

Well, you know how it goes: the snake slithers around in the grass, nibbling up the muskrats. The muskrats try to hide...but if you want to kill a snake, maybe you have to take a stab at going for the _head._

DODGER

_(Annoyed)_

Okay, so….what Cat's trying to say here is—

CAT

_(Excited)_

I learned under your wing well, Marvin! Alas! I've rallied the troops. Right now, there's five of us standing here. Six people who have made a mutual pact that they're not going to vote with you _or _Rita tonight. In fact, we're all voting out Cadpig...and if you don't side with us this round, the second you lose immunity...well, those muskrats are coming back for the snake. We're voting _you_ out next. How about that?

MARVIN

_(Slowly)_

So in other words…you'll all vote me out next if I_ don't_ vote for Cadpig or Courage?

CAT

Exactly...

RITA

_(Jumping in)_

So what is this? Do we have any say? I mean—

MARVIN

Rita, I'm _speaking—_

RITA

_(To the OTHERS)_

So we vote Cadpig off and get picked off next?

DODGER

_(Stepping forward)_

You guys said you'd gun for one of us at random. Well sorry, Cat's not taking your crap laying down. He's standing up for all of us…

MARVIN

I only did_ that_ because my back was up against the wall—

DODGER

Marvin, you don't even talk to anyone around camp. What do you expect?

MARVIN

Well, what's to say I'm not doomed _anyway?_

CAT

What's to say we're not telling the truth?

MARVIN

No, you smug idiot. You're missing the _point _here_._ What's to say you won't just vote me out the second I lose immunity anyway? Why does it matter?

_(MARVIN locks eyes with CAT. MARVIN face trembles. CAT looks frightened. DODGER looks amused. His plan worked. WAKKO notices the tension. He steps in, looking worried._

WAKKO

Marvin...it's just a game...

MARVIN

_(Taking a deep breath)_

I'm _not _blowing a fuse, _Wakko._ I'm standing here in front of you; I'm considering everything you people are saying…and despite the many flaws in your plan here, the fact that I'm questioning all of your moral character now. I see no choice. Okay. Fine...

_(He takes another breath)_

It's almost time for Council…and you're apparently a locked six. Yes. I'll vote for Cadpig. Fine...but you didn't have to organize a _militia _against me...

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional. He looks furious at the cameraman)_

_MARVIN_

They hate me so much that they were willing to stand behind _Cat._ Still, there's not a molecule in my body that regrets what I did this round. On my home planet, I've helped assemble laser cannons that have cost millions of dollars only to malfunction on their first shot. When something doesn't work...you simply get up and try _again…_

* * *

_(Cut to MARVIN sitting by the CAMPFIRE, sulking and staring at the FIRE. The OTHERS are gathered over by the SHELTER, in much better spirits now after deciding on the vote. RITA notices MARVIN and walks over. She sits down beside him)_

RITA

Marvin man….that sucked. I was really on board with the whole "get-them-to-work-with us" play…but... that kind of fell through...

MARVIN

_...Yes?_

RITA

So...I guess what I'm trying to tell you – maybe this alliance is going south….

_(MARVIN stares at RITA. A short pause. Then he reaches into his sleeve and pulls out the hidden immunity idol. He hangs it in her face)_

MARVIN

See this?

RITA

I _know, _Marvin.

MARVIN

Well...I don't think you _do—_

RITA

I _see_ it. I know, I know….but down-the-road, I don't want your decision-making to reflect on mine, y'know? I mean, I_ like _you...I think you're cool. It's just—

MARVIN

_(Smiling)_

Are you catching onto the fact that I'm threatening you?

RITA

Threatening?

_(RITA's smile fades. She realizes MARVIN was never joking)_

RITA

(After a moment)

You'd vote me out with your Idol?

MARVIN

Yes, I _would_…Say I covered Cadpig tonight with this Idol. _One _vote for you from me, _two more _from Courage and Cadpig. _That's_ enough. Everyone else votes for Cadpig…and your vote means nothing…

RITA

_(Trying to stay calm)_

Well,if I told the others, they'd see you were backing out on your promise…

MARVIN

They'll do that anyway.

RITA

(Forcing a laugh)

No, no…but they're not going to_ sit_ there knowing you're _abusing_ me…

_MARVIN_

If I was really "abusing you" here…why do you think anyone would care?

_(Stunned silence. RITA is put off, but she quickly recovers)_

RITA

(Finally speaking)

What do I have to do?

MARVIN

What I say. Whatever I say…

RITA

I'd rather be voted out...

_(MARVIN seems surprised. They sit in silence, both parties searching for what to say to each other next. RITA finally speaks)_

RITA

I'm not going to flip tonight…all right? And if Cadpig's going home...keep your Idol. But I want you to _swear _to me...

MARVIN

How so?

RITA

If you vote me out eventually…that's going to lose my Jury vote...

MARVIN

(Frowning)

I refuse to _promise _anything, Rita…

RITA

(Rolling her eyes)

Well, there's voting someone out _strategically; _then there's voting them out to laugh and piss on their grave…

MARVIN

(Slowly)

I'm _not _planning on it...

_(RITA stares MARVIN dead in the eyes. After a moment, she sighs and holds out a hand. MARVIN accepts and shakes it. We zoom in and see the fingers on MARVIN's other hand are crossed behind his back)_

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

I respect Marvin because he has the balls to tell you straight-to-your-face if he wants to vote you of. If it comes down to it, whatever alliance we end up in next…I'd totally be ready to cut his throat first...

* * *

_(Cut to somewhere off in the DESERT. The time for COUNCIL is fast approaching. TIMON and SONIC are gathered together under a battered old tree)_

SONIC

(Frowning)

So what, we're just going to side with the master plan then and vote out Cadpig? I mean, I'm fine, bro, as long as we don't go near Courage…For _some _reason, Courage hates me. Literally. I don't get it…

TIMON

_(Rubbing his face)_

Well, we've got Wakko, Dot, Dodger, and Cat locked to vote Cadpig. Let's just go with the flow. Marvin's going to be pissed next round. But let's let him boil for a little bit. See where his head is…

_(MARVIN emerges out of a thicket of BUSHES. TIMON and SONIC are startled)_

MARVIN

Marvin's boiling?

TIMON

_(Harshly)_

We're going for Cadpig. We don't need a lecture, man—

MARVIN

You don't need to be adamant. I know. _Yes._ We're voting _Cadpig _tonight…

_(He wraps his arms around them)_

But going forward...I think we could use one another….

* * *

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

So I was set to spy on Dodger. I was just going, like, super-guerrilla incognito Dalmatian mode in the trees, and I found out they were gunning for me tonight. I ran back to tell Courage, but when I came back to the pond, he was gone. Missing...and so I looked and I looked and I looked, and I asked the camera crew and nobody saw him, so I was like freaking out!

_(Cut to a MONTAGE. CADPIG scurries around the DESERT, checking in BUSHES, peeking beneath ROCKS, climbing up trees to get a higher view. She calls out COURAGE's name to no avail)_

CADPIG

Courage! Courage! WHERE ART THOU, SURVIVOR BUDDY?

_(Cut to CADPIG walking by the POND again. It's getting dark. She skims the surface, fearful that COURAGE drowned or something. She notices a lump sitting on the shoreline)_

CADPIG

_Courage?_

_(CADPIG jogs over to COURAGE's body. She tussles it back and forth, terrified)_

Oh my God... Please don't be dead, please don't be dead...

_(COURAGE groans and opens his eyes)_

Courage! Courage, what're you doing over here?

COURAGE

What?

CADPIG

I've been looking all over for you. You scared me half to death. Here, here, get up, explain to me. What happened?

COURAGE

I...I fell asleep...

CADPIG

_Asleep?_

COURAGE

I was thinking too hard and – oh my God, I fell asleep. Oh no. Oh my God, the vote, the vote! What happened? Is it me? Please, please don't tell me it's—

CADPIG

It's me, Courage. …It's me.

COURAGE

What?

CADPIG

They want to vote me out to make sure nobody sides with Marvin. So they're calling a truce this round_..._

_(A pause. COURAGE just gawks at her)_

_So_ what, are we just going to sit here awkwardly until I get voted out tonight, or are you going to say something?

COURAGE

I'm sorry you lost, "Survivor", Cadpig; that's all I have to say...

CADPIG

_(Staring at him)_

I'm ready to talk about this when you are...okay? I feel bad. Really, I feel awful...and before I get voted out…I'd really like to _talk _about this…

COURAGE

_(Shaking his head)_

Okay, look…I don't know why this is so hard for you to understand, but personally, I…I can't look you in the eyes right now_…_

_(He sees CADPIG starting to tear up)_

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I mean, it's not you, it's me—

_(She starts to cry harder)_

It's….I mean, WHAT IS IT? WHAT?

CADPIG

_(Wiping her tears)_

Y'know what's really unfair? The fact that you kissed me, basically assaulted me, and I'm getting the blame for it from everyone— I just think THAT's UNFAIR!

COURAGE

Well, you nudged me—

CADPIG

I nudge everyone!

COURAGE

You brought up _"kiss!"_

CADPIG

I bring up lots of words! I don't even know if some exist!

COURAGE

But it was intentional. I mean, come on — partly. At least part of it was—

CADPIG

_(Raising her hand)_

Cross my heart, hope to die—

COURAGE

Oh, come on—

CADPIG

(Finishing)

Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye! I swear! I didn't like you, Courage! Never! A _friend._ That's all you ever were to me, a _friend,_ and if you ever thought it was anything more than that, I'm sorry, I'm genuinely sincerely _sorry…_but I never actually _liked_ you like that – and that's all I want you to believe before I go. That's all I want. Really. That's _all…._

(Awkward pause)

COURAGE

(After a moment)

So…you're really getting voted _out _tonight?

CADPIG

_(Quietly)_

Uh-huh…

_(COURAGE takes a deep breath. He groans in frustration and seizes his KNAPSACK. In a fit of anger, he chucks it into the POND. It sits there floating in the middle of the water)_

COURAGE

I _hate _this game. Really. It should be..._banned_ or something….

_(They stand there in silence. CADPIG watches as COURAGE sits down on the ground, glaring out at the water. She doesn't approach him)_

CADPIG

(Uncomfortably)

So….are there any other dogs where you live?

COURAGE

I don't know…

CADPIG

Like, girl dogs?

COURAGE

Maybe…

CADPIG

Well…you could meet one of them...

COURAGE

_(Staring out at the water)_

No, I think I'm done with that for a while…

_(He takes a deep breath)_

Ugh...Cadpig, I'm sorry. I…I shouldn't have made a move that quickly. Or, like, _at all..._ I know. I know. For that, I'm _sorry._ I shouldn't have acted like it was your fault to everyone...For that, I'm sorry – and if it means anything, if there's anything I can do for you, or your brothers and sisters you mentioned, or seriously, like anything at _all…_

_(CADPIG forces a smile a little. She sits down next to COURAGE, looking out at the WATER with him. COURAGE stops talking. CADPIG takes his hand. She squeezes it)_

CADPIG

_(After a moment)_

...I don't know if we'll be able to see each other after the game, Courage – like, physically, or mentally, or emotionally, psycha-whata-phsically…I don't know. But…I'm going to stay open to it. All right?

COURAGE

_(Smiling a little)_

All right…

CADPIG

_(Poking him)_

And you better win this, you hear me? OR I SHALL COME BACK AS A DALMATIAN GHOST AND UNLEASH MY WRATH!

COURAGE

_(Grinning)_

No, no, the memories of you are haunting enough. Why do I need a ghost?

CADPIG

_HAH!_ Well, until Tribal, faithful sidekick!

COURAGE

Until Tribal!

CADPIG

All right. I got to think of how I'm going to insult Dodger on my way out…

COURAGE

No you don't.

CADPIG

Huh?

_(COURAGE reaches into his KNAPSACK. He pulls out the HIDDEN IMMUNITY IDOL. He smiles and tosses it to CADPIG, who catches it in astonishment)_

_COURAGE_

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

* * *

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional. She is holding the IDOL and seems ecstatic)_

CADPIG

Whenever I'm strategizing, I do a mental mambo. Like, right now, I'm picturing my entire tribe dancing the limbo, and they're all like, "No, Cadpig, that's too low, you'll never make it, but I'm just like, PUH-LEASE!" And then I bend so far down, and I'm like, "BOOYA! NAILED IT! LIMBO QUEEN!" Thank you for your time, America. Now, we're going to vote out Dodger for flipping with only two votes….

_(Cut to the SHELTER. The TRIBE is being led away by PRODUCTION, heading to their TRIBAL COUNCIL. CADPIG is crouched in the SHELTER, packing her things to look unsuspicious. MARVIN climbs in behind her to grab his knapsack. He gives her a weak nod but doesn't say anything. CADPIG, eager for Council, smiles devilishly at him._

_As MARVIN reaches for his bag, CADPIG picks hers up upside-down. The ITEMS inside fall out. MARVIN and CADPIG are both left looking at the HIDDEN IMMUNITY IDOL._

_CADPIG reaches out to grab the IDOL. However, MARVIN snatches it first. He holds it in the air, examining it closely)_

_MARVIN_

Now what do we have here?

CADPIG

That's Courage's, Marvin!

MARVIN

Courage? .So you're telling me you're going to play this tonight?

_(CADPIG glares at him, searching for words)_

No need to fret, Cadpig. There's a way out of this…

CADPIG

What?

MARVIN

We'll split the votes between you and Courage. I don't even have to tell everyone at this point. I have _three _that would do it at the drop of a hat... Four versus four. Play your Idol. If not, we vote you out in the revote. If you play your cards right, Courage goes home and you come safely back to camp tonight...

CADPIG

(Pleading)

Marvin, c'mon, this was just a slip-up. I mean, anyone, we can send home anyone else. We're voting Dodger. Why not Dodger? You hate him…

MARVIN

They called a truce…and I don't want to lose their jury votes... They'll understand if Courage has an Idol. I'm sorry, Cadpig. If it means anything, I'm genuinely—

CADPIG

Go lead the brigade.

_(MARVIN just stares at her)_

Go. Vote me out...

MARVIN

I said I was sorry...

_(MARVIN shakes his head and gets up to walk away. CADPIG stares at the IDOL, shocked like a deer in the HEADLIGHTS. She groans and bangs it hard against the SHELTER's floor)_

_(Cut to CADPIG crying in a confessional)_

CADPIG

I never wanted to hurt anyone. That's the life I choose. I'm against it, really, I am...but I'm just thinking about my brothers and sisters now, and my owners, and my farm...but I know now, after all this….Courage would never believe me...

* * *

_(Cut to TRIBAL COUNCIL. All TEN CONTESTANTS enter with their TORCHES. They place them on the RACK behind the SEATING AREA. SONIC, TIMON, RITA, and MARVIN are making a clear incentive to sit together. DODGER sits with CAT, DOT, and WAKKO. CADPIG and COURAGE sit in the middle. COURAGE offers CADPIG a smile but she refuses to answer it)_

HOST (O.S)

Courage, you're up!

(Cut to COURAGE in the voting booth)

COURAGE

Dodger, you have a whole bag of tricks up your sleeve…but I just have one really good one up mine…

_(Cut to DODGER in the voting booth)_

DODGER

All right, when you guys are older, you'll understand. Good game…

_(Cut to DOT in the voting booth)_

DOT

Polka dots are retro. Consider dying your fur…_Seeya._

(Cut to SONIC in the voting booth)

SONIC

I don't know what to say at this point, but all this lying and scheming behind my back_ realllllly_ isn't cool…and I think you're all going to regret it….

_(Cut to WAKKO in the voting booth)_

WAKKO

Once you get to the resort or wherever they take you Cadpig, please, please save me a pizza with extra anchovies. All right. Love, Wakko.

_(Cut to CAT in the voting booth)_

CAT

Cadpig...you talked a little too much for me, but I don't have anything against you. I hope Courage gets his hormones in check. And, um, I…I'm not as good at public speaking as I thought I was…

_(Cut to TIMON in the voting booth)_

TIMON

Dodger, I hope you enjoyed yourself this round. You're going home next. Courage, you're a little weasel. Your shtick is up. Game over….

_(Cut to MARVIN in the voting booth)_

MARVIN

It pains me to write this down…but I wasn't going to rock the boat this round…and if Cat wants everyone to be subservient to him, I'll do his bidding for now. I need to hide in the background…

_(Cut to RITA in the voting booth)_

RITA

Courage, you seemed like a decent kid.I don't know, good luck. It still might be Cadpig…

_(Cut to CADPIG in the VOTING BOOTH)_

_CADPIG_

I can't waste the Idol tonight. I'm so sorry…

* * *

_(The HOST exits the VOTING CORRIDOR with the URN of VOTES. He takes his place on his podium)_

_HOST_

Once the votes are read, the decision is final. The person voted out will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately. If anyone has a hidden immunity Idol, now would be the time to play it…

_(A short pause. The CONTESTANTS look at each other, tense and worried. CADPIG takes a deep breath. She opens her KNAPSACK. She seems to consider using the IDOL for a second but thinks against it. COURAGE looks at her, confused, wondering what's gone wrong)_

COURAGE

Cad. The _Idol._ Remember?

CADPIG

_(Quietly)_

I'm sorry, Courage…

COURAGE

Huh?

CADPIG

They split the votes. I had no choice…

COURAGE

…What?

HOST

I will now read the votes….

* * *

**FIRST VOTE**

**DODGER**

**SECOND VOTE**

**CADPIG**

**THIRD VOTE**

**CADPIG**

**FOURTH VOTE**

**CADPIG**

**FIFTH VOTE**

**CADPIG**

**SIXTH VOTE**

**COURAGE**

**SEVENTH VOTE**

**COURAGE**

**EIGHTH VOTE**

**COURAGE**

**NINTH VOTE**

**COURAGE**

**TENTH VOTE**

**COURAGE**

**Seventh person voted out and the first member of our Jury….**

**COURAGE**

* * *

_(Cut the TRIBES' reactions. DODGER is appalled. He glares at MARVIN, ready to tear into him. CAT is shocked and humiliated. TIMON and SONIC lock eyes, nodding at each other in the dark) _

_Cut to COURAGE sitting beside CADPIG, staring at the vote in disbelief. CADPIG turns to him, desperate, trying to explain herself)_

_CADPIG_

They_ made_ me split the vote. Really, I had no other choice—

COURAGE

(Shaking his head)

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…shame on me

_(COURAGE gets up with his KNAPSACK. He takes his TORCH and crosses over to the HOST. He places his TORCH in the POST in the ground. Lit up by the flames, we can see tears brimming in COURAGE's eyes. He sucks them back and stares at the HOST, ready to face his maker)_

HOST

Courage….the tribe has spoken. Time for you to go…

_(The HOST puts out COURAGE's TORCH. Without another glance at the OTHERS, COURAGE walks down the EXIT HALLWAY, leaving the game for good. The HOST turns back to the OTHERS)_

HOST

Friendship. Does it have any place in this game? Is there any room for real connections, or are you all just planning to cut each other's throats? Courage is now a full-fledged member of our Jury. He will be a deciding vote as to who gets a million dollars. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp.

* * *

**VOTE TALLY**

* * *

**SONIC voted for COURAGE**

**RITA voted for COURAGE**

**TIMON voted for COURAGE**

**MARVIN voted for COURAGE**

**CADPIG voted for COURAGE**

**DODGER voted for CADPIG**

**CAT voted for CADPIG**

**DOT voted for CADPIG**

**WAKKO voted for CADPIG**

**COURAGE voted for DODGER**

* * *

**A/N: **Ughhhhh, if sending home Norbert was painful, it was only a facsimile of how it felt to get rid of Courage. I loved the little guy - but I knew from the beginning that he was going to be the first jury member.

In most _Survivor_ seasons, the first jury member has a pretty cohesive narrative pre-merge that sets them up for their downfall. There's other archetypes too - Zim was the psycho pre-merge control freak; Norbert was sort of the "final round boss" removed before the second half of the story. If you look back at the earlier chapters now though, I hope you'll see that there were hints of Courage's fate for awhile. A good example is the buoy challenge, where he threw his tribe's league just to earn favor with the Warners and protect Cadpig - the latter objective, as shown in this chapter, would directly lead to his elimination. Honestly, Courage's one quote when he's making the fake immunity Idol for the Warners - "the things I do for love..." really sums up everything that went wrong for him in the game. Really, with the debatable exception of Wakko, Courage might have been the nicest person in the game.

Still, in terms of losing Courage as a character, I'm actually more bummed about losing Courage and Cadpig as a single entity. Even in their first encounter, they really clicked for me. I loved their interactions. I don't think Dodger has the best judgement in the world - as much as he'd like to believe he does - but I do agree with something he said in this chapter. Outside of the game, Courage and Cadpig could have been _perfect_ for each other - it's just really unfortunate that they met on _Survivor._

Cadpig's story isn't over yet, so we'll have to wait and see where she ends up. For Courage though, he's off to the big dog house in the sky - at least until Final Tribal Council.


	19. Red Light, Green Light, Part I

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

So when I got back to camp, Cadpig was pretty riled up...

_(Cut to the TRIBE returning to their CAMP. They stack their TORCHES against their SHELTER. Everyone, noticeably, is giving CADPIG some distance. CADPIG storms ahead of the group. She tosses her TORCH onto the ground and begins to climb into the SHELTER. Halfway there, she bumps into DODGER)_

CADPIG

SHUT UP, YOU LIAR!

DODGER

_No._ Y'know what…get up, Cadpig. We gotta talk—

CADPIG

_No._

DODGER

Get up.

CADPIG

GO AWAY!

DODGER

We're talking – _now—_

CADPIG

I WILL PUNCH YOU, DODGER!

DODGER

So can we not talk anymore now?

CADPIG

_WHAT?_

DODGER

_(Struggling for words)_

I don't know, forgive me for jumping ship when you weren't doing anything at all to save us! You think I enjoyed that? Cutting ties with you?

CADPIG

_(Glaring at him)_

You want to know what happened tonight? You _knew_ I smelled a rat. And you tried to flip, and you got scared I would tell everyone you were this poor, wittle, itty-bitty alley dog from Brooklyn trying to earn their votes_..._

DODGER

_(Scratching his head)_

Well….I mean, going forward, you can't just _not_ strategize and not expect-

CADPIG

_(Cutting him off)_

FORGET THE GAME!

DODGER

_(Rolling his eyes)_

I...I shouldn't have flipped. You're a perfect little angel, aren't you? That's _you,_ Cadpig. You can do no wrong. And I'm the villain here. Fine. I can live with it…

CADPIG

_(Finally speaking)_

If you don't let me sleep… I'll tell the others—

DODGER

Where I'm _from? _What, that I'm a stray? Well, hold up, hold up— isn't Rita homeless too?

(_A brief silence)_

CADPIG

No.

DODGER

_Yes._

CADPIG

(Rolling her eyes)

Get out of here, Dodger…

DODGER

She lives in the streets!

CADPIG

_(A little worried)_

And how would _you_ know that?

DODGER

She's told everyone. What's the difference if I did the same?

_(CADPIG seems nervous. DODGER just smiles at her)_

I don't see why you're thinking you're dropping a bombshell or something with this crap, Cadpig …The "sympathy card" stuff, pulling a "sob story"… it means nothing anymore…

CADPIG

(After a moment)

There's still a difference. People_ like_ you...

DODGER

Well...all right. That bodes great for me—

CADPIG

(Cutting him off)

No. If Rita made a pity case, what would you do? You'd all _laugh_ at her. .Well, then what about you? Sleeping in the gutters of Manhattan? Swiping food from the back of Chinese restaurants to feed your gang? Really? I'm _sorry…_wait…do I feel some_ tears_ coming?

DODGER

_(Coldly)_

I have nothing to be scared of...

_(DODGER turns to walk away. CADPIG stares at him, serious and intent)_

CADPIG

_Dodger. _Where are you going?

DODGER

I'm going to the_ fire._ We're all just hanging out. I'm sorry. Do you want to come?

CADPIG

_(Coldly)_

Yes. I'm a _people person..._

* * *

_(Cut to CAT standing on the outskirts of CAMP. The OTHERS are gathered around the FIRE, talking in good spirits. The mood , compared to recently, is much more amicable. CAT, however, is hunched against a TREE. He wretches. Then he vomits all over the ground)_

_(Cut to CAT in a confessional)_

CAT

My sinuses are on fire, my throat hurts. My tribe isn't going to dope me up with Advil either, so have to suck it up…

_(Another shot of CAT puking onto the ground. He groans and leans against the tree, trying to steady himself. He wipes his face, taking a deep breath. In the shadows, TIMON approaches. He has noticed CAT and left the OTHERS at the FIRE)_

TIMON

...Cat? Party's over there. Ya feelin' all right?

CAT

Yeah, dizzy. Must be the heat. I don't know…

TIMON

You_ sure_ you don't want to hang out, Cat?

CAT

(Coolly)

Why are _you_ here, Timon?

_(Cut to TIMON grinning in a confessional. Awkward xylophone music plays again)_

TIMON

All right America, Get the popcorn! Get your Timon T-shirts! My game hasn't been that great so far. But in between this Dodger-versus-Marvin hoopla, is there any target on my back here? _No_. So...I'm making my own alliance…

_(Cut back to the scene. TIMON smiles slyly at CAT)_

TIMON

It's _"Survivor," _Cat. You want to survive, you got to _talk..._

CAT

I _know—_

TIMON

Well, you're acting like Marvin! Listen – he's been talking to me and Sonic, saying he wants to _use _us…and we_ know_ he has an Idol. We_ know_ he's not going to part ways with that easy, Cat. So here's what I'm proposing. All us peasants…the puppets Marvin's been stringing around…

CAT

_(Tensed up)_

…_.Yes?_

TIMON

Let's knock out Marvin together…

* * *

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

_MARVIN_

I don't understand how they can witness something...something like _tonight..._and then celebrate. They're all talking. Laughing. I don't know. Maybe it's time for Marvin to...laugh...and joke...and do human things…

_(Cut to the CAMPFIRE. RITA, SONIC, WAKKO, DOT, and MARVIN are gathered around sitting on LOGS. The air is much more laidback and good-natured than the recent past. Still, everyone seems a little unsettled by MARVIN being willing to socialize with them. WAKKO sits next to MARVIN, smiling and explaining something)_

WAKKO

Do you get how to play now?

MARVIN

You pick something. You act it out….

_(Cut to WAKKO smiling in a confessional)_

WAKKO

Marvin just keeps to himself all the time. So we invited him to play charades with us. I mean, we immediately regretted it but that's besides the point…

_(Cut back to the scene. DODGER crosses over from the SHELTER. CADPIG walks in behind him quietly, not sparing a word for the OTHERS. She sits down on her own LOG and seals herself off)_

DODGER

HEYYYYYY! GAME NIGHT?

DOT

DODGER, GET THIS: MARVIN'S HERE!

DODGER

(Shocked)

MARVIN? Whoa, whoa, call the Pope! Hell's freezing over!

MARVIN

_(Suspicious)_

What were you talking to Cadpig about?

DODGER

Oh. We were just… …uhhh…yeah. So what's next for you now, Marv?

MARVIN

(Forcing a smile)

I can _laugh._ I can have _fun._

DODGER

So what's next? A rousing game of "Monopoly?" "Operation?"

RITA

(Laughing)

Marvin playing_ "Operation." _He'd have a psychotic breakdown…

WAKKO

_(Gently)_

Um…here Marvin, _you'll_ be with me and Dot. Then we'll have Sonic, Dodger, and Rita on the other team. Wait, do you want to play too, Cadpig?

CADPIG

_(Staring at the fire)_

_Pass._

WAKKO

Well, I'll act something out first!

DOT

(Raising her fist)

TEAM WARNER, CHARADE CHAMPIONS!

_(WAKKO rises and turns to the OTHERS. He mimes pulling a rope of some sort. He makes eye contact with MARVIN, trying to make it very clear what he's doing)_

MARVIN

Hmm….let's see—

DOT

(Pointing at WAKKO)

A sailor dropping an anchor!

SONIC

_(Yawning)_

I don't know, me being bored?

WAKKO

(Laughing)

Sonic, it's not your turn—

RITA

(Pointing at WAKKO)

UH-UH! WAKKO'S CHEATING!

WAKKO

_(Still glancing at MARVIN)_

Right, right, I know, I know….hmmm….let's _see…_

_(WAKKO mimes pulling up a BASKET with the ROPE. He reaches into the imaginary BASKET and starts bathing himself with water)_

DOT

Rock-climbing? Um, cave-diving! Or – wait, what's it called – _spelunking? _No, no, I know this. Ugh, I definitely know this—

MARVIN

(Jumping in)

A planet being torched by a proton blast fired by an ultra-range, semi-automatic photon cannon, incinerating the entirety of the western hemisphere and turning the ocean into a puddle of boiling magma as everyone's bodies are molecularly compacted into celluloid dust at a temperature not even reported on the Kelvin Scale?

_(A shocked pause from everyone)_

_MARVIN_

...WAS I RIGHT?

_(An even longer silence)_

DOT

…Can we switch partners?

DODGER

Time's up.

WAKKO

(Disturbed)

It was a _"well"_ Marvin.

MARVIN

What?

WAKKO

It was...getting water...from a _well…._

RITA

(Uncomfortable)

Maybe a little too much "charades" for one night, guys...

MARVIN

_(Loudly)_

Of course not!

_CADPIG_

_(Finally speaking)_

Ugh. It's just a game. Don't start something right now...

RITA

Start _what? _ We're playing charades—

CADPIG

Finish it with him. _Play the game with him. _Don't leave him…

MARVIN

(Taken aback)

Wait...you're all leaving me?

RITA

(Forced laugh)

No. No. It's just…it's late, we're all tired...

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

I_ like_ Marvin. I guess. I don't know. It's this weird love-hate relationship. I only went along with the "charade thing"...because…I want other people to like him. But he always finds a way to ruin everything for himself…

_(Cut back to the scene. The OTHERS watch as RITA yawns and gets up to leave)_

WAKKO

Well...it is getting late...

SONIC

_(Swinging his arm around MARVIN)_

I'LL STAY! CHARADE-A-THON!

MARVIN

I don't want to play with_ you!_

_(RITA starts to walk away. MARVIN notices. He glares at her. He shakes SONIC off)_

MARVIN

...And just where are you off to, Rita?

RITA

_Bed._

MARVIN

Well, the shelter's the other way—

RITA

_(She picks up her CANTEEN, showing it to him)_

Canteen. Water, Marvin. See?

DOT

Marvin, why are you always so paranoid?

MARVIN

_What?_

WAKKO

_(Frightened)_

Dot, drop it - cut it out – _please—_

_DOT_

(Ignoring WAKKO)

No. For real. _Seriously. _Have fun.

RITA

Not everyone's like _you,_ Dot.

DOT

If you were like me, you'd have fun…

WAKKO

(Angry)

Look! We're all tired, we're hungry, nobody wanted to argue tonight…

DOT

(Cutting him off)

I'm not trying to be mean. Just, like...why are you such a killjoy?

MARVIN

(After a moment)

Because of _you,_ Dot. People like you.

_(Cut to later that night. MARVIN sits alone on a rock out in the DESERT. As the CAMERA passes his face, we see his eyes are twinkling and wet. A LIZARD scurries up to MARVIN, curious. MARVIN reaches out to pet the LIZARD. It squeaks and scampers away from him)_

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional. His eyes are teary but his face is stone cold)_

MARVIN

If you're going to keep pushing and probing me, yes, I'll tell you _exactly_ why I'm on_ "Survivor."_

_(He pauses for a moment)_

I'm here because I was banished,_ exiled_ from my home planet. During the Seventh Galactic War, I was responsible for the designing and engineering of laser cannons to be used by the Mars military, and I was _framed._ I was made out to be selling our blueprints to Neptune...only so I could be stripped of my rank, stripped of_family.._.and left to linger out in space...I don't care if you judge me...

(A pause)

I don't care about anything anymore. There would be nothing more beautiful, nothing I care about more...than winning that million dollars...

* * *

_(Cut to the challenge the following morning._

_An aerial shot of a large pen set up with wire in the DESERT. The camera zooms in to find that the PEN is loaded with JACKRABBITS hopping around in the DIRT – at least fifty of them. At one side of the PEN is a long rack of METAL CAGES. Sitting on top of each CAGE is a metal safe with a combination lock._

_(Cut to the TRIBE entering from the DESERT. MARVIN and DODGER are walking side-by-side, each trying to be the one in front. As everyone nears the PEN, they notice the ANIMALS inside)_

DOT

BUNNIES!

RITA

The _hell?_

WAKKO

Here, snuggly-buggly-wugglies!

_(WAKKO crosses up to the CAGE and tries touching the RABBITS)_

RITA

It's like Easter in a third-world country….

_(The HOST steps out from beside the PEN holding a JACKRABBIT in his arms)_

HOST

I see you've met our new friends! You guys ready to get to today's immunity challenge? All right…first thing's first. Marvin…time to take back that immunity…

MARVIN

And with no hesitance...it's all _yours…_

_(MARVIN crosses up to the HOST, unclipping his IMMUNITY NECKLACE. He hands it over. Playfully, the HOST nudges the JACKRABBIT in MARVIN's face. MARVIN cringes and steps backs)_

MARVIN

Not so close to me please…

HOST

Scared of rabbits?

MARVIN

_(Shuddering)_

I had a _very _bad experience once with a rabbit…

HOST

_Okaaaaay…_well, let me tell you how this is going to work. On each jackrabbit's ear, there's a card with one of your names on it. Your job: locate all _three_ of your respective rabbits. Once you have them in their cage, you will use a series of information – _also_ on each index card – to solve a math problem. No help. No calculators. You will enter the answer into the safe below your cage. First person to enter the correct code and open their safe wins immunity…guaranteed a one in nine shot at a million dollars. For the rest of you? Vulnerability at Tribal Council…where somebody will be the _eighth _person voted out. Take your spots. Let's get started…

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. The NINE CONTESTANTS stand inside the cage, ready to start. The JACKRABBITS frolic around the cage, sniffing each other, trying to escape. The HOST raises his hand)_

HOST

Survivors ready? GO!

_(The CONTESTANTS take off. Everyone runs around the enclosure, chasing after BUNNY RABBITS and trying to stop them from getting away. DODGER goes for a swan dive. He rolls through the dirt, hands locked on a RABBIT. It struggles, but DODGER has it. He hurries back to his CAGE and stuffs it inside)_

HOST

Dodger, wrangling critters like a pro! Have you even seen rabbits in New York?

CADPIG

No, and he's never seen a math problem!

DODGER

Can't HEAR you, Cad! Hunting WABBITS!

_(DODGER dashes back into the CROWD of RABBITS. CADPIG is quick to follow. She seizes a RABBIT, practically doing a SOMERSAULT in the DIRT to catch it. She hurries over to the CAGES to lock it inside._

_WAKKO is taking a very different approach. He kneels down and pets a JACKRABBIT, trying to tempt it to stay with him. It's working. OTHERS, inquisitive, are waddling over to sniff him as well._

_DOT is much more volatile. She dashes in circles around the PEN, taking grabs at RABBITS. They're much too frightened and are all running away from her._

_MARVIN is having even more difficulty. He struggles to tempt the RABBITS, much like WAKKO – but for some reason they're scared of him. He backs one RABBIT into the corner, gentle, trying to coax it into his arms. The RABBIT squeals in terror. MARVIN gives up. He seizes it, locks it in his arm, and dashes back to the CAGES)_

_Some of the OTHERS are having luck as well. RITA, CAT, and SONIC have all picked up their own RABBITS. They hurry back to their respective cages, ready to lock them inside._

_TIMON, easily, is having the worst luck of them all. He's not very large, and so the RABBITS don't see him as threatening. TIMON cowers in the corner of the PEN, trying to stop the RABBITS from sniffing him. Every so often, he makes an attempt to grab one, but they just shove him back further and further into the corner)_

HOST

Timon…_really_ NOT taking a liking to these things! Show them who's BOSS!

TIMON

I'M LIKE A FOOT TALLER THAN THEM! COME ON!

HOST

They're not grizzly bears. They're bunny rabbits…

_(DODGER and CADPIG have their SECOND RABBIT. They dash back to the cage, neck-and-neck. Both hurriedly lock their animals inside and take off, heading back for their third. SONIC, RITA, and CAT return with their SECOND as well. CAT has a significant lead over the OTHERS. He shuts the cage and hurries back for his third RABBIT)_

_HOST_

We have Dodger and Cadpig, neck-and-neck for first! Cat, bringing up the rear, followed by Sonic and Rita. Still anyone's game…and now here comes Marvin…

_(MARVIN has no more reservations. Rather than take one RABBIT at a time, MARVIN is returning now with his first TWO. They're irritated. They scratch at his face but MARVIN pays them no mind. He hurries to his CAGE and throws them inside. He locks it. Then he hurries back out for his THIRD)_

_(DODGER has found his FINAL RABBIT, but it's feistier than the ones before. It nips at his paws, trying to break free. DODGER dashes back to the CAGE and tosses the RABBIT inside)_

_HOST_

Dodger…first to locate all three of his rabbits! He's on to the math problem…

_DODGER_

All right, Dodge…you've got this… keep it cool…

_(He glances through the THREE INDEX CARDS he's collected and reads through the message)_

"There is a field of two-hundred jackrabbits. This amount will double every four-hundred and eighty hours. What will the population be….nine-hundred and sixty hours from now…?" Well…._damn, _all right then…

HOST

Dodger! Working on the math problem…but having difficulty already. This is_ not_ just a physical challenge, people. After so many days out here, how much is your brain still working? How can you still think logically? Here comes Cadpig…she's ready to start cracking on the problem…

_(CADPIG returns and throws her final RABBIT into the CAGE. She takes out her own INDEX CARDS and starts mulling through the MATH PROBLEM. Like DODGER, arithmetic clearly isn't her forte. The struggle is visible on her face. She sifts through the index cards, counting with her fingers to solve the problem)_

_(CAT rushes back with his FINAL RABBIT. He tosses it in the CAGE. He cracks his fingers and takes the INDEX CARDS. Clearly, he knows exactly what to do…)_

_HOST_

It's a three-way split….Dodger versus Cat versus Cadpig! Two canines versus a feline! Who will come out on top? Now here comes your tribe-mates…

_(Out in the field, RITA is still struggling. MARVIN, TIMON, and DOT aren't faring much better. SONIC dashes back with his FINAL RABBIT and shoves it into the CAGE, ready to start on the MATH PROBLEM)_

HOST

Sonic's joining in now. Cat…_much_ more of a puzzle solver than a challenge threat…up against three people who are CLEARLY fumbling. This could be Cat's challenge…

CAT

_(Excitedly)_

This is my challenge…

_(CAT grins, finishing the calculations in his head. He starts to spin the lock on the safe around, entering the COMBINATION. He pulls on it hard. The door doesn't even budge)_

_HOST_

CAT IS WRONG!

CAT

WHAT?

HOST

Try again. Still anyone's game…

_(DODGER, SONIC, and CADPIG are getting nowhere. CADPIG draws with an imaginary pen in the air, trying to figure it out. DODGER counts with his fingers. He keeps backtracking. SONIC isn't even attempting the problem. He just spins the LOCK on the safe around, trying to see if he can get it open. CAT swears under his breath, pacing back and forth. He tries to map out what he did wrong)_

HOST

A challenger appears….Wakko, entering with an armful of RABBITS!

_(WAKKO hurries over carrying all THREE RABBITS, each one sitting comfortably and happily in his ARMS. He loads them into the CAGE. Then he takes the INDEX CARDS off their EARS and starts working)_

_(CAT glances at WAKKO nervously. He tries to stay calm, muttering some kind of equation under his breath. WAKKO looks just as worried. He starts to hum something under his breath)_

_HOST_

Wakko…what are you _doing?_

_WAKKO_

I'm making up a song. It helps me remember…okay, okay_…"Ninety-six, minus forty-eight. Yes, that means you're doing great. If every hour, bunnies groooooow,…."_Wait a second, wait...

CAT

CAN YOU STOP?

_(WAKKO grins. His face lights up like he's figured something out. He turns to the LOCK and starts spinning it. At the same time, CAT goes for his second chance. It's become a showdown between CAT and WAKKO, both of them entering their answers. Seeing it's over, the OTHERS can only look on and watch)_

WAKKO

_(Singing to annoy CAT)_

"_Hundreds of bunnies, both skinny and fat. We finished the challenge and voted out Cat—"_

CAT

I know this must be hard for you, Wakko. Your sister's not here telling you what to _do…_

_(WAKKO and CAT hurriedly enter their answers. The OTHERS tense up, watching, realizing this is the end)_

HOST

Seconds away…neck and neck. Who's it going to be?

_(WAKKO finishes his LOCK a split-second before CAT. He grabs it and swings it open, only a moment before CAT opens his own SAFE. WAKKO jumps for joy and screams. His tongue flaps out of his mouth, hanging in the air. CAT furiously knocks over his SAFE)_

_HOST_

IT'S OVER! WAKKO HAS UNLOCKED HIS SAFE! WAKKO WINS IMMUNITY!

* * *

_(Cut to the aftermath of the CHALLENGE. WAKKO stands on the MAT beside the HOST. The HOST fits the IMMUNITY NECKLACE around WAKKO's neck. On the TRIBE's MAT, the OTHERS applaud. Some, like DOT, are thrilled for his victory. Others, like DODGER, realize this is very, very bad news for them)_

HOST

(Clipping the necklace around his neck)

_Nicely played…_

WAKKO

(Bowing to the applause)

I'D LIKE TO THANK ALL THE LITTLE PEOPLE!

HOST

Wakko, guaranteed a spot in the Final Eight, one step closer to a million dollars! For the rest of you, I've got nothing. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp….See you tonight at Tribal…


	20. Red Light, Green Light, Part II

_(Cut to CAT smiling in a confessional)_

CAT

Losing the challenge did bother me...a _little._ I mean, I play Sudoku for fun. I like calculus. I'm a graduate student. But whatever. From here on out, the only way I can go is up. Hopefully. Probably. I really think so…

_(Cut to the TRIBE returning to CAMP after the CHALLENGE. CADPIG and DOT lead the way. They carry WAKKO on their shoulders like a parade. His IMMUNITY NECKLACE gleams in the SUN)_

DOT &amp; CADPIG

_(Chanting)_

"BUNNY KING! BUNNY KING! BUNNY KING!"

_(DOT and CADPIG giggle and run off holding WAKKO on their shoulders._

_Cut to CAT walking behind them. He scowls at WAKKO's immunity NECKLACE and grits his teeth)_

* * *

_(Cut to RITA standing in the DESERT, crouched under a SPINDLY TREE. She is examining a BIRD fallen from its NEST. The BIRD is dead. The camera zooms in on RITA's face. We see RITA sniffling, beginning to cry. MARVIN walks into the scene. When he sees RITA weeping, he stops in his tracks)_

MARVIN

Rita…are you okay?

RITA

_(Startled)_

Yeah, yeah. It's just… this bird, man. It fell.

_(MARVIN looks concerned. He kneels down beside her, looking at the BIRD. He rubs it gently. RITA tries to hold back her tears)_

MARVIN

Here. We'll dig a hole. We'll bury it….

RITA

Oh. No. You don't have to—

MARVIN

_(Firmly)_

We'll bury it, Rita…

_(RITA can't argue. MARVIN begins to dig a hole in the ground. RITA watches from the side, lost for words)_

* * *

_(Cut to TIMON out in the DESERT. He is kneeling on the ground, fishing under a ROCK for BUGS. He pulls out some sort of CATERPILLAR. Quickly, he pops it into his mouth and swallows. _

_SONIC appears behind TIMON. He walks up behind him)_

SONIC

Are you eating _caterpillars?_

TIMON

_(Offering a CATERPILLAR)_

African delicacy. Come on, grab one!

SONIC.

Um, I just had lunch...

TIMON

Pretend it's a gummy worm!

_(SONIC grimaces, trying to hide it as he takes the BUG. He smiles at TIMON, who is enjoying every minute of this. SONIC sighs and pops the CATERPILLAR into his mouth)_

_(Cut to SONIC in a confessional)_

SONIC

I ate a _caterpilla_r for Timon. It tasted horrible but I need him to like me. See, what I'm planning right now is to use Cat and Timon to pick off some people that are rubbing me the wrong way: Dodger. I don't like how he's good at challenges. That's supposed to be me…

_(Cut back to the scene. SONIC struggles to smile. He doesn't swallow and keeps the CATERPILLAR in the side of his mouth)_

TIMON

_(Counting with his fingers)_

All right! You, me, Cat, and the Warners. I know we've had some scraps with those clowns - I know. But we _need_ their votes now. And you know why - right?

SONIC

_(Shrugging)_

Um, because Wakko won immunity, and we can't vote him out?

TIMON

_(Annoyed)_

Well _yes..._but if we had Wakko and Dot...even if Marvin caught on and figured out what we were doing, we'd still have majority._..right?_

SONIC

Well, why lie to Marvin?

TIMON

_(Taken aback)_

...Huh?

SONIC

I mean, if we had the Warners _and_ Cat, we'd have majority anyway. So...it's kind of, like, self-indulgent to trick Marvin just to humiliate him—

TIMON

_(Glaring)_

That's_ not_ what I said, Sonic. You know we're going to be targets soon, _right?_

SONIC

Well, yes, I do-

TIMON

_(Pointing at SONIC)_

I mean, you especially-

SONIC

_(Locking him in the eyes)_

Did I _say_ I wouldn't vote Marvin?

TIMON

(Pointing at him)

Yes, you _did—_

SONIC

_(Smirking)_

No, I didn't. I _never_ said that. ...I'm _fine_ with voting out Marvin ...Now, why are you so dead-set on embarrassing him?

TIMON

_(Snapping)_

That's the game_,_ Sonic!

SONIC

_(After a moment)_

That wouldn't earn my respect...

TIMON

Are you on board?

SONIC

Yes - but I won't lie to him.

TIMON

_Fine._

_(Cut to TIMON in a confessional. He seems exasperated)_

TIMON

Gotta take a breath, go forward. I _need_ the Warners, I _need_ Dodger. I _need_ Marvin to think he doesn't have to play his Idol...and that's _all_ I'm going to think about...

* * *

_(Cut to the cluster of TREES out in the DESERT. MARVIN is placing the BIRD in the HOLE. RITA is watching, anxious, uncomfortable)_

RITA

Can we _please_ talk about the vote now, Marv?

MARVIN

_(Burying the bird)_

I _like_ animals….

RITA

It's _dead_..

_(The BIRD suddenly springs to life. It wasn't dead. It flaps with a broken wing, breaking out of MARVIN's grasp. RITA screams in terror, panicked)_

RITA

OHMYGOD!

MARVIN

Calm down-

RITA

ZOMBIE BIRD! ZOMBIE BIRD!

MARVIN

_Calm down-_

RITA

_(Shaking)_

What the hell, man? Why...why is this place so screwed up?

MARVIN

You're hysterical-

RITA

I'm_ not!_ I'm just...I'm freaked out by the freaky animals out here, and the _bugs, _and...and-

MARVIN

I'm going to count to ten. Pretend your head is the sun...

RITA

_What?_

MARVIN

Technique from training on Mars. Pretend your head is the sun...

RITA

I refuse.

MARVIN

_(Ignoring her)_

Pretend your head is the sun. Tilt it back. Imagine all the planets are orbiting around your head. Then...take a breath. That's it...

_(RITA struggles for breath, clearly on the verge of a panic attack. She complies with MARVIN, tilting her head back. She lets out a long breath)_

RITA

_(After a moment)_

Oh my God...that was_ trippy..._

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

I plan to vote out _Dodger_ this round. After Rita spent so much time with the others -_ laughing_ at me, I might add - I wasn't fully convinced I could trust her. Then I found her crying by the bird. I tried to see if I could gain her sympathy. It _worked…_.

_(Cut back to the scene. MARVIN smiles at RITA)_

RITA

_(Smiling)_

All right...so_ this_ round, Dodger?

MARVIN

We have to think of the best way to do this. Right now...I don't want to cooperate with Timon, Sonic, or Cat - only because I'm _sure_ Dodger's going to go to them first. I want to try to use _Cadpig._ She hates Dodger. Then...we pull in the Warners...and if all goes right, it should be an easy vote…

RITA

Guess we're going to bury two animals today, huh?

* * *

_(Cut to the POND. CADPIG, DOT, and WAKKO are cooling off together in the WATER. For some reason, CADPIG is at the end of belting a song)_

_CADPIG_

_"I WILL SURVIVEE! I WILL SURVIIIIIVE!"_

_(WAKKO and DOT applaud)_

Thank you Vegas, I'll be here all week!

DOT

Do you do birthday parties?

CADPIG

Well, as long as there's no clowns.

DOT

_(Pointing to her brother)_

WAKKO! _CLOWNNNNS!_

CADPIG

_(To WAKKO)_

Ooh, you're scared?

WAKKO

Yeah, but just clowns. Not mimes. Mimes are just annoying..

DOT

_(Pointing at WAKKO)_

See this, Cadpig? This is _us_ \- twenty-four seven!

CADPIG

Well, I love chaos! Count me in! Y'know, I can't thank you guys enough...

WAKKO

_(A little concerned)_

Why?

CADPIG

_(Chuckling a little)_

I don't know. It's just, like...after Courage went home, I was _so_ angry. It was like I lost something. I don't know...but now, I'm here...I'm laughing again…

WAKKO

You can call me your therapist.

_(WAKKO and CADPIG laugh. DOT joins in but she doesn't look thrilled to be there. She scowls at them)_

_(Cut to DOT in a confessional)_

_DOT_

Yeah, sorry sweetie...you have an _Idol. _And after what happened with Courage, you've proven yourself to be really transparent. You're not going to vote out my borhter. Wakko genuinely seems to _like_ Cadpig. I'm not going to let her get to him…

* * *

_(Cut to CAT running out in the DESERT. He hops over ROCKS and CREVASSES, heading out toward the POND. His face is lathered with sweat. His eyes are filled with determination. For some reason, there is HEROIC MUSIC playing)_

_(Cut to CAT in a confessional. He seems out of breath)_

CAT

I know Timon and Sonic are going to stick together. Timon already talked to me about blindsiding Marvin last night. So, this is what I'm planning...I'm going to flip, all by myself, just _Cat,_ no strings attached. My big move. I'm going to talk to Cadpig, Wakko, Dot - and then I don't know, Marvin or Rita - and we're going to band together to vote out _Dodger—_

_(Cut to CAT jogging toward the POND. Heroic music is booming now. From far away, we can see CADPIG, WAKKO, and DOT lounging out in the POND. CAT smiles, panting, heading toward them)_

CAT

_(Under his breath)_

Yes...yes...they're right there—

_(Suddenly, CAT'S music cuts off. We zoom in on the POND. MARVIN and RITA are now standing beside the WATER, waving to the WARNERS and CADPIG. CAT stops dead in his tracks, shocked, appalled)_

_CAT_

_WHAT? _ THEY GOT THERE BEFORE YOU!

* * *

_(Cut back to the POND. RITA smiles as she arrives, waving to the OTHERS. MARVIN trails in behind her)_

RITA

_(Dipping her toe in the water)_

Sup ya'll. Thought we'd cool off. Getting heatstroke, y'know?

DOT

_(Whispering to WAKKO)_

They're here to trick us...

WAKKO

_(Whispering back to DOT)_

Can't we just hear what they have to say first?

_(DOT doesn't respond)_

_Dot...?_

_(MARVIN climbs into the WATER and sits down next to WAKKO. RITA climbs down into the WATER. She sits down as well, relaxing between DOT and CADPIG)_

RITA

Just going to squeeze in between _these_ two ladies—

CADPIG

Excuse me?

RITA

Three girls! And we all make the merge! Who would've thought?

CADPIG

Apparently none of the men...

RITA

_(High-fiving CADPIG)_

HAH! I like you, Cadpig...

DOT

_(Glaring at RITA)_

Yes, um, why _are_ you guys joining us?

MARVIN

Well..as you all know, Cadpig and I have something in common...

_(MARVIN reaches to the SHORE and takes his KNAPSACK. He fishes out the IMMUNITY IDOL and hangs it by its ROPE, allowing everyone to see it. CADPIG glares at it)_

RITA

_(Quickly)_

I mean...only because he found it in your bag, y'know. He _told_ me last night-

MARVIN

_(Matter-of-factly)_

In this pond right now, there are five people - _just_ enough to vote somebody off. Going forward, honestly, I'm _perfectly_ all right with this five. Tonight, we would take out Dodger. After that, it could be Timon, Sonic, _Cat.._.whoever...but I think the real benefit here, however, comes in the form of _this_ Idol. Not just the Idol alone, but it's _twin_ brother - sitting right over there in Cadpig's knapsack. With two Idols - we would be _unstoppable..._

DOT

_(Raising her hand)_

Um, okay. But that doesn't make _any _sense on our part.

WAKKO

_(Muttering)_

Oh God, not_ again..._

DOT

_(Counting her fingers)_

_One -_ if we were to align with _you,_ we would be stuck on an alliance with two Idols. Without Idols. Like, wouldn't it more sense if—

MARVIN

_(To WAKKO)_

Sorry Wakko? Do you have an opinion?

WAKKO

_(Pointing to DOT)_

Can we just, like...mull this over first? Me and my sister?

DOT

_(Glaring at WAKKO)_

Is there something you'd like to _share_ with all these people?

WAKKO

_(Pleading)_

_Please._ We'll meet at the shelter. We'll talk there-

MARVIN

_(Cutting in)_

Dot, I _want_ you and your brother to talk. In fact...I won't _continue_ this discussion_ until_ you talk - alone...

RITA

_(Butting in)_

...Yeah I mean... if you want my opinion, Dot-

_(MARVIN nudges RITA, encouraging her to shut up. RITA gets the message. She looks away from DOT, picking her nails)_

DOT

_(Glaring at everyone)_

Fine, Wakko. Come on. Let's _go._

_(DOT climbs out of the POND and storms away. WAKKO is left staring at the OTHERS, lost for words. He smiles sheepishly)_

WAKKO

Sisters...you know...

_(Everyone stares at him)_

I'll...I'll be right back...

_(WAKKO climbs out of the POND and hurries away after DOT. MARVIN exchanges a smile with RITA. She returns it but she seems rather annoyed. CADPIG, meanwhile, has fished into her own KNAPSACK. She holds her IMMUNITY IDOL in her hand, staring at it, comparing it to MARVIN'S. MARVIN notices and smiles at her)_

MARVIN

I wouldn't be worried about them...

CADPIG

_(Smiling a little)_

I know. I'm just thinking...

_(CAT suddenly appears at the edge of the POND. He pants, catching his breath, unable to speak. MARVIN raises his eyebrows at him)_

MARVIN

Hello Cat.

CAT

_MARVIN!_

MARVIN

What's wrong? I'm just making an alliance.

CAT

WITH WHO?

MARVIN

Let's see...Cadpig, Wakko, Dot, and Rita. Now, why are_ you_ here?

CAT

_(Too furious to speak)_

Because..._because..._

MARVIN

_Yes?_

CAT

Because...I...you..._.they- we-_

MARVIN

Cat, you look awful. Are you sick?

CAT

_(Defeated)_

...Because I'm...I'm..._ughhhhhh..._ I'm in your stupid alliance now!

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional. She is grinning ear-to-ear)_

CADPIG

So Marvin made a pretty good pitch to us. I mean...we _do_ have two Idols now, he's right...and I know that's not necessarily a good thing going forward...but I really, really, _reaaaaaallllly_ want to get rid of Dodger. So...if that's where we're swinging tonight...I'm _game..._

* * *

_(Cut to DODGER sitting out in the DESERT. He peeks over a cluster of BUSHES, looking out into a CLEARING. Members of the PRODUCTION CREW are gathered around, carrying equipment, setting up for the CHALLENGE tomorrow. On one side of the CLEARING, there are a small ROW of BLEACHERS. _

_Facing the BLEACHERS is a WOODEN STAND. A sign hangs in the front with the word, "AUCTION." DODGER crouches in the BUSHES, struggling not to be seen)_

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

So I was out in the desert, y'know…and The Dodge runs into a little brain-grabber out there. See, I see these camera guy people setting up - for the challenge tomorrow, or whatever. They got like benches and crap set up - looks kind of like one of those rich people auctions, y'know, where they sip their wine and they bid money and stuff. ...So, while they've got their backs turned, I _sneak_ in. I cross over to the table and I see this bundle of letters.

_(Cut to DODGER creeping out of the BUSHES. The PRODUCTION CREW is gone. He crosses over to the STAND and begins to examine its shelves. He pulls out a BUNDLE of LETTERS and begins to flip through them)_

_(Cut back to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

I take a quick peek. I see they're letters from _home..._ Cadpig's brother, Sonic's friend or whatever...Then it _clicked_ for me. At the challenge tomorrow, whatever it is, there's going to be some kind of chance for us to get letters from home. And I know it's crummy; it's the kind of thing I want to sock myself in the face for...but my first thought when I saw them? It was "how can I use this _against_ the others?"

_(Cut back to the scene. DODGER puts the LETTERS back where he saw them. He hurries back the way he came, sprinting off into the DESERT)_

_(Cut back to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

Because I've come _waaaaay_ too damn far to leave now...

* * *

_(Cut to TIMON standing somewhere in the DESERT. He doesn't look happy. He scans the horizon, apparently looking for somebody. He notices DODGER running and waves him over)_

TIMON

Hey Dodge! I've got some grim news for you, fella. You better put on your happy face...

DODGER

I got _two_, Timon. One face for when I trust someone. Another's for "Survivor..."

TIMON

Yeah, here's the fact of the matter: you're going home...

DODGER

I figured.

TIMON

Soo, that's why I'm scouting you out now. I'm thinking of doing a little switcheroo, all right? Pull you out of the line of fire. Marvin, right between the eyes. How about it?

DODGER

I could get rid of Marvin...

TIMON

_(Relieved)_

I mean, I thought you would. It's just, y'know, sketchy people out here. You can never be too sure...

_(DODGER smiles but he seems conflicted. TIMON notices)_

...What's up, Dodge? You don't seem like yourself...

DODGER

Timon...I got a question for you...

TIMON

Well, an answer's not obliged...but I'm willing to listen...

DODGER

How much do you love your Mom?

_(A shocked pause. TIMON stares at DODGER)_

TIMON

Who told you?

DODGER

No one.

TIMON

Who _told_ you, Dodger?

DODGER

No _one._ No one. Here, let me explain. ...I was snooping in the desert. I found them setting up for the challenge tomorrow. It's some kind if auction thing, I don't know, but we can win_ letters_ from home. Now…I know this is a crappy thing to do, Timon - but remember, I'm going for a million, so I'm just putting all my cards on the table-

TIMON

MY MOM SENT ME A LETTER?

DODGER

It was in a dirty package that smelled like the jungle and said "Mom"... so yeah, who else?

_(TIMON takes a step away from DODGER. He is shocked. He glances out at the DESERT, holding his hands to his head)_

TIMON

Oh man, Dodge...

DODGER

Are you close?

TIMON

I... I haven't seen my Mom in years...

DODGER

Well...then why's she sending you a letter when you're on a television show?

TIMON

_(Taking a deep breath)_

I'm not an emotional guy, all right? I'm not going to be a sobbing mess here or nothing - but believe me, I need that letter. Immunity or not, whatever, I need that letter—

DODGER

Okay, okay - well, that's what I_ meant._ See, if you align with me this round...I'll help you get the letter from your Mom tomorrow-

TIMON

Who _says?_

DODGER

_(Taking a deep breath)_

Align with me to vote out Marvin and you can bet damn_ sure_ you're getting that letter tomorrow...

TIMON

_(Glaring)_

If you go back on this, y'aint just losing my jury vote, you hear? You're losing your _life-_

DODGER

You're welcome to come to Brooklyn, Timon. Beat me to a _pulp..._

TIMON

_(Rubbing his hands together)_

Well, I _was_ planning on aligning with you anyways...so I think we've got a deal. Hey, my Mom's handwriting on the letter - it didn't look _mad_ by any chance, right?

DODGER

Why are you asking?

TIMON

No reason. ...All right, come on, I'll clue you in on my plan. We got to talk to the _Warners..._

_(Cut to TIMON in a confessional)_

TIMON

I left my colony in Africa years ago. Out if the blue. Just got up and left...and I haven't talked to my family since. Now, on live TV….my Mom apparently wants me to read a letter from_ her_ in front of the entire country...?

_(He gulps, clearing his throat)_

I...I don't know what it's going to say...I don't know if it's good or bad. But I'll tell you one thing. No matter what comes out of it, I'm throwing that thing in the campfire the _moment_ I'm done reading...cause there's _nothing_ getting in the way of my game...

* * *

_(Cut to DOT and WAKKO standing together by the SHELTER. DOT is no longer angry. In fact, she seems to be pleading. WAKKO is nodding but he doesn't seem to be listening)_

WAKKO

_(Trying to be patient)_

Well, next round, we could just flip. We could use the others to pick off Marvin anyway. Dodger tonight, _then_ Marvin next...okay?

DOT

I don't _like_ Cadpig-

WAKKO

Why, because she's a girl?

DOT

_What?_ I _like_ girls-

WAKKO

_No! _You only hang out with me and Yakko! ...Look, look - I promise next round, Marvin can go - or even Cadpig. All right? ...But for now, we're_ friends._ All right?

DOT

_(Glaring at him)_

I'm not smiling, Wakko...

_(An uncomfortable pause)_

WAKKO

We're_ not_ flipping...

DOT

This game isn't even about _me_ anymore. Seriously, I got my kicks when Norb got voted out. Then I was _done._ At this point, I hate_ all_ of these people. I don't even care...

WAKKO

_What?_

DOT

I said I don't _"care"_ Wakko...

WAKKO

So why are you bothering then?

DOT

Isn't it _obvious?_ _You!_ I'm sleeping in a rickety, horrible shelter for _you!_ I'm eating lizards for_ you._ I'm starving in one- hundred degree heat so you can make it to the end and get what you want! That's why I'm telling you all of this; I don't want to see you make a mistake and get voted out...

WAKKO

_(Shocked)_

Wait...you're not even_ trying?_

DOT

No...

WAKKO

Okay...

DOT

..I...I wasn't sure how to tell you.

WAKKO

_(A little annoyed)_

But then...why have you been, like, arguing with everyone? I mean, if you don't _care _Dot, then what's the point in-

_DOT_

You, Wakko! I want _you_ to win!

_(DOT starts to sniffle. WAKKO seems lost for what to do. He places a hand on DOT's shoulder, struggling to smile. It isn't working)_

WAKKO

Here, look, look...I will_,_ okay? I'll win and um...we'll have a big party when we get back, and it'll be awesome, and they'll be confetti and cookie cake, they'll be a piñata shaped like Norbert. But right now...I _need_ you to be quiet, Dot. I just... I need you to stop butting in like this, and I'm really sorry, but I don't know how else to say it...

DOT

_(Shaking WAKKO off)_

Have your _show._ You can have your glory. Go _ahead..._

WAKKO

What is it with you?

DOT

_(Sighing)_

I know what you want. Okay? I've known since the beginning. You're trying to be like _Yakko._ You're trying to be _better_ than him...and honestly, it isn't working...

_(WAKKO stares at DOT, struggling for words. Nothing is coming. She just glares at him)_

See? I'm not arguing. You can have _exactly_ what you want now. I'll see you later...

_(DOT storms away from WAKKO. He watches her go, unable to say anything)_

* * *

_(Cut to WAKKO standing by the POND several minutes later. He glances down into the WATER, staring at his reflection. Slowly, he takes off his HAT. He looks down at himself in the water - and sees that without his HAT, he looks exactly like YAKKO. He struggles to compose himself)_

* * *

_(Cut to DOT sitting out in the DESERT. She rests on a ROCK, looking out at the sunset in front of her. DODGER appears behind her. She tries to ignore him, but he smiles and approaches. He sits down on the ROCK beside her)_

DODGER

Hey Dot...y'mind if I pop in for a chat?

DOT

I don't know, Dodger; you're just going to talk anyway—

DODGER

What's up? You and Wakko have another fight?

DOT

That's none of your business_-_

DODGER

Well, you guys are two votes between you, so excuse me, but I think you're everyone's business. C'mon, what antics are you getting into now? Did your brother push you off the see-saw? Dump sand in your hair at the playground?

_(DOT doesn't respond. She grits her teeth, trying to stay quiet)_

.A vow of silence_?_ Got to say, that's unusual for you. When someone's picking on your family, I'd figure you as one to raise your voice a little...

DOT

_(Spinning to face him)_

You're going home tonight….

DODGER

Well, that's where you're wrong, Dot…because while you were having another famous Warner hissy fit, I think the tables turned a little….

DOT

What are you saying?

DODGER

I'm saying that Marvin...is trying to get Wakko to give up his immunity necklace...

DOT

To who?

DODGER

You...

_DOT_

WHAT?

DODGER

He's trying to make Wakko think that _you're _a target, so he gives up his necklace to you at Tribal. I heard them with my own ears, Dot - I _swear_ \- and Wakko seemed to be buying it...so, y"know, I came to you-

DOT

_(Standing up)_

Wait, fill me in - he's giving up his immunity tome?

DODGER

Yes. But wait, wait - it's simple. _This_ is what you guys have to do-

DOT

_(Edging toward him)_

Tell me. What? Because if you think I'm taking the backseat here, you're wrong, Dodger. I'm not going to let my brother humiliate himself. Tell me. Whose throat do I have to _cut?_ Whose back do I have to climb over? _Who?_

DODGER

Convince Wakko to_ flip_ on Marvin. Don't tell Marv. Go with me, Sonic, and Timon. We knock out Marvin with his Idol still in his pocket. Can you do _that,_ Dot?

_(Cut to DOT in a confessional)_

DOT

I'm not going to quit in the game. I'm not going to leave Wakko here. Do_ you_ have any brothers? I'm sorry, but do you have _two_ brothers who've raised you since the day you were born, who have stood at your side no matter _what? I_ love my family - and even if Wakko doesn't believe me, even if he thinks I don't know what I'm doing out here – I will protect him until someone comes and has to physically _rip us_ apart...


	21. Red Light, Green Light, Part III

_(Cut to the center of CAMP. TIMON and WAKKO are gathered together on the LOGS in the middle of a deep discussion)_

_WAKKO_

Wait, wait, so go back. Marvin's going to try to convince me to give immunity to _Dot?_

TIMON

I'm not _certain. _I'm picking up on things. Flies buzzing in my ear, y'know? I'm an interloper...

WAKKO

_(Frowning)_

Well, picture_ this,_ Timon-

TIMON

No. How about y_ou_ picture this-

WAKKO

_(Ignoring him)_

No. Stop. You've got nobody willing to work with you _\- again -_ and it's all because you weren't privvy to fill me in here on what's happening with my sister-

TIMON

_(Cutting him off)_

How about _this_? The host is counting the votes at Tribal. All's going swimmingly. Then, suddenly, a vote for Dot. Another, and another. You want that on your conscience, Wakko? Dodge and I_ don't_ got to save you this round...

_(WAKKO closes his eyes, deep in thought. TIMON glares at him)_

..._Hello...?_

WAKKO

_(Glaring at him)_

I need a second.

TIMON

A second to save your _sister?_

WAKKO

If you keep telling me she's going home, it's not going to _help _me think-

TIMON

But that's _exactly_ what's going to happen. ...

_(WAKKO groans and lays down on the LOG, staring up at the SKY)_

This game's messed up your family, hasn't it? You were a bunch of jokers. Now look at you..

WAKKO

_(Sitting up)_

Look. I'm going to talk to Dot about this first, all right? I'm not saying I don't believe you about the Marvin thing. I just...want to hash some stuff out first...

TIMON

Wait, Wakko, wait - you're not going to have _another_ fight, are you?

WAKKO

...Hopefully not. Stay here….

_(WAKKO gets up to leave TIMON watches him worriedly)_

_TIMON_

Okay, but Wakko, please - can you please not fight with Dot anymore? Because...there's people playing for a million out here, and frankly...it kind of blows when your drama keeps—

WAKKO

_(Annoyed)_

Yes, Timon. I _get_ it.

_(Cut to TIMON in a confessional)_

TIMON

Dodger and I decided to make Wakko paranoid enough to flip on Marvin - and if he doesn't believe us, then Dot drags him over with her. However, what's _really _grinding my gears are these soap operas Wakko and Dot keep having. I'm not worrying - but if I got voted out because of Dot being too busy crying to go to Tribal, I'd be _pissed._ ...

* * *

_(Cut to WAKKO hurrying through the DESERT. He scans the horizon, trying to see where DOT's walked off to. He passes around a BOULDER. MARVIN appears behind with a BASKET full of LIZARDS. They bump into one another and fall to the ground)_

MARVIN

Wakko, you've made a mess of my reptilians-

WAKKO

Why are you collecting_ reptil_...I mean, why do you have so many lizards, Marvin?

MARVIN

Protein, which we're certainly lacking. Now, I've been looking for _you-_

_WAKKO_

You don't say...

MARVIN

You were mulling over your decision with Dot. So, what's it going to be? Will you be voting with me tonight?

WAKKO

Yeah. Dodger. We'll vote out Dodger...

MARVIN

Terrific. Now, do you want to help me skin the lizards before Tribal?

_(WAKKO glances at one of the DEAD LIZARDS. His stomach growls. Though he's frustrated, he's starving and can't help it. He grabs one from MARVIN's basket. He cringes and takes a bite)_

MARVIN

Um, Wakko, you're not supposed to eat them _raw-_

WAKKO

_(Wiping his mouth)_

I have a _question_. I was told that you were planning to trick me into giving up my immunity necklace - to Dot. Then, you were going to vote me out. Is there any truth in that?

MARVIN

What? Where on Earth did you hear _that...?_

_(Cut to about thirty feet away in the DESERT. DOT crosses around a BOULDER and sees WAKKO talking to MARVIN. She gasps and glares at them)_

_(Cut to DOT in a confessional)_

DOT

I was walking in the desert, looking for "you-guess-who" - and there I found him talking to Marvin. Marvin, the same person I learned is threatening to_ blindside_ us tonight. So, like any good sister, I ran over to put a stop to it….

_(Cut back to the scene. DOT's eyes narrow as she stares at MARVIN and WAKKO. She begins to storm over. MARVIN is the first one to notice)_

MARVIN

DOT, WELCOME ABOARD!

WAKKO

_(Alarmed)_

WHAT? DOT? NO, NO!

_DOT_

Cut the welcoming committee, all right? I have something to say, Wakko-

WAKKO

GO AWAY!

DOT

_(Pointing at MARVIN)_

Marvin - this reprehensible _slime ball here _\- is using his extraterrestrial charm to blindside us tonight. He's convincing you, right now, to give up your immunity to me. But after that, he's-

WAKKO

YES! THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DISCUSSING, DOT! _LEAVE!_

DOT

I WILL NOT LEAVE! NOT UNTIL YOU BELIEVE ME-

WAKKO

_(Pleading)_

I DO! I _DO! _If I _believe_ you anymore than I do right now, I'm going to have a mental breakdown! Do you see that? You are taking the strands of brain, you are twisting them, and I am losing it! I am done! I am one step away - one teeny, tiny step away - from screwing my head off my shoulders! So please, _listen_ to Marvin for me! Please! For what's left of my waning sanity here, just let Marvin explain himself!

MARVIN

_(Raising his hand)_

_ENOUGH!_

_DOT_

_(Staring at WAKKO)_

Okay, that's it. We're done.

WAKKO

_What?_

_(Cut to DOT in a confessional)_

DOT

Sorry "Survivor," - you can make us all vote each other out. You can make us eat lizards and bugs. You can make us sleep in the dirt...but you_ can't_ mess with my brothers...

_(Cut back to the scene. DOT stares at WAKKO, determined, unflinching)_

DOT

I won't let this game hurt you anymore. You're spazzing out. You're losing it. Can we please throw in the towel? Please? Can't we go home_? _Let's just quit…

WAKKO

_(Not looking at her)_

No...

DOT

Please. Let's go home. Let's annoy people. Let's crush people with anvils and smash them with mallets. I hate this…

WAKKO

You don't get it.

DOT

What? What don't I _get? Tell me._

WAKKO

_(Starting to tear up)_

I'm sorry, Dot, I'm so sorry...but if I left this game...I don't know how I'd go home and go back to normal with you guys just..._just_ knowing that everyone out here was able to_ beat_ us...

_(A brief pause. At first, DOT seems taken aback by all of this. Then she sucks up her breath, eyes locked on WAKKO)_

DOT

_(Struggling to stay calm)_

..Well, then let me _help..._because if you really want this...right now—

WAKKO

...I...I don't want to force you-

DOT

You're not! I could blindside Marvin! It's fine!

MARVIN

Blindsiding_ WHO?_

_(DOT and WAKKO turn to look at MARVIN. In the midst of their argument, they forgot that he was still there)_

DOT

...Oh. Um, what's up?

* * *

_(Cut to TIMON in a confessional. He looks enraged)_

TIMON

_So _Wakko and Dot, our resident geniuses, decided to _tell_ Marvin we were blindsiding him. Now Marvin's going to play his _Idol. W_e're screwed….

_(Cut to CADPIG and WAKKO sitting together by the FIRE. They are smiling but it seems very forced)_

CADPIG

I think you could _win _without her…

WAKKO

No, I mean...you too...

_(Awkward silence)_

CADPIG

There's more to this, isn't there, Wakko?

WAKKO

_(Sighing)_

Look...it makes sense why _you'd_ side with Marvin. I_ get_ that. You want Dodger gone. But Marvin's dangerous, Cadpig - and he has an Idol. I don't want to keep him around anymore...

CADPIG

_(Annoyed)_

_...No._ You're not _doing_ this because you want Marvin gone! You're_ doing_ this because Dot's going to flip! Like, seriously Wakko, stand up for yourself!

WAKKO

_(Smiling a little)_

Well, _you're_ a dog. I'm not even_ sure_ what I am-

CADPIG

_(Not smiling back)_

If you flip, I swear - I'm not going to vote for you at finals-

WAKKO

So...because I'm making a choice that hurts your game, you're against rewarding me?

CADPIG

I'm against rewarding you because you're a _coward! _Wakko, please! Dodger. Gone! Finished! _Please!_ If you keep trying to protect Dot, you're going to make so many people angry. You'll never win this. You're more than just this, like…goofy guy that everyone can walk over…

_(WAKKO glares at CADPIG. For a moment, it seems like he's going to argue with her. Then, something changes. WAKKO winks at her. He lets his tongue hang out of his mouth. Suddenly, all seriousness is gone)_

_WAKKO_

YES SURREY! I''M A COWARD!

_CADPIG_

Huh?

_WAKKO_

Yep! That's me! Wakko Warner, professional scaredy cat - or dog, or monkey, whatever you want to call me! WHO KNOWS?

_(He picks up the BASKET of LIZARDS on the ground that MARVIN gathered earlier._

HEY, HOW ABOUT SOME LIZARDS?

_CADPIG_

_(Timidly)_

If...if I offended you here-

_WAKKO_

_(Almost taunting her)_

HERE, TAKE ONE, OLD SPORT! CREEPY CRAWLIES!

_CADPIG_

Really. I...I didn't mean to make you mad-

_WAKKO_

WHAT? You shouldn't _swear._ Swearing's not nice. Seeya Cadpig-

_(WAKKO takes the BASKET of LIZARDS. He walks away whistling the "Animaniacs" theme song. CADPIG is dumbstruck, struggling to piece together what's just happened)_

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional. He is wearing his HAT again. His tongue hangs out more than over)_

_WAKKO_

SIMPLE! _Dot _was right! _This_ is what we should have been doing all along. The Warners are going to win this game the only way they know how to! Why stress out? Nobody can beat us! Let's just be ourselves...

* * *

_(Cut to the POND. The SUN has almost set and the time for TRIBAL COUNCIL is fast approaching. SONIC, DODGER, and TIMON are cooling off in the water, having a last minute discussion about the vote. DOT is standing by the TREELINE, ready to approach them. She takes a few steps._

_Then behind her, WAKKO emerges from the TREELINE. DOT doesn't notice. WAKKO smiles at first, perhaps ready to surprise her. Then he frowns, noticing that she still seems pretty upset._

_WAKKO takes a deep breath and approaches her)_

_WAKKO_

Hey-

DOT

_(Startled)_

Hey. I was just...I was going to walk over, see what they're planning-

WAKKO

You want to, um, talk for a sec?

_(DOT nods. They step back into the TREES, away from the OTHERS. WAKKO takes a deep breath)_

WAKKO

So...I know we keep saying we're done fighting but-

DOT

I know-

WAKKO

_(Firmly)_

But tI don't want to pretend anymore, Dot. I don't want this game to make us think we don't know each other. We do. We grew up together. When we get back, I can't wait to spend the million on a bunch of silly, stupid things we don't need...Going forward, I just want us to have _fun._ I want us to be ourselves...and everything we were before the game and-

DOT

We don't need to.

WAKKO

_But-_

DOT

We're fine just the way we are now...

_(DOT smiles at WAKKO. He seems relieved, but unsure of what to say back)_

So...when we spend the million on that new slushy machine, should it be in the living room or the kitchen?

WAKKO

What?

DOT

Where should we put it?

WAKKO

_(Smiling at her)_

NEXT TO MY BED! DUH!

_(WAKKO and DOT grin at each other. DODGER, TIMON, and SONIC cross over from the POND, heading toward the WARNERS)_

_DODGER_

Hey guys, so you want to hear what's going down tonight?

WAKKO

_(Swinging his arm around DOT)_

We're all_ ears..._

* * *

_(Cut to SONIC in a confessional)_

_SONIC_

So Dodge is all gun-ho about all of us sticking together. We can't vote out Marvin, who has an Idol, or even Cadpig, who has an Idol. He was trying to get us to shoot for Cat. _Cat_ of all people. So yeah...we're thinking Dodger's time is up...

_(Cut to SONIC, DOT, WAKKO, TIMON, and DODGER gathered in a huddle by the POND. DODGER has them all engrossed in his plan)_

DODGER

C'mon,_ give_ me something. Are we voting for Cat?

SONIC

Absolutely.

DOT

Positively.

DODGER

(Scowling at them)

Well, I'm going to grab a snack before Tribal. Seeya...

_(DODGER leaves. There's a short silence. The OTHERS exchange glances with one another, waiting for him to be gone. Then, suddenly, they burst out laughing. DOT jumps onto WAKKO and hugs him. SONIC gives TIMON a high-five, even if TIMON doesn't seem thrilled to return it)_

_SONIC_

_HE'S GONE! HE'S GONE! WE DID IT!_

_DOT_

_YES! YES! PARTY TIME!_

_(SONIC, WAKKO, and DOT break out into a happy dance. They run off into the POND, splashing water around. They jump up and down, chanting "We did it!" SONIC jumps onto WAKKO, knocking him into the WATER. WAKKO returns the gesture by dragging SONIC down with them. TIMON, however, is hesitant. He steps into the WATER beside the OTHERS, not joining in. SONIC notices. He steps over and swings TIMON into a headlock)_

_SONIC_

C'mon, Timon! _Smilllllllle!_ We got Dodger fooled!

TIMON

Wait so - Cadpig, Marvin, Cat, and Rita - they're voting Dodger_ too?_

SONIC

Yeah, bro - get it? So we don't even have to talk to them! Done deal! We'll just dump our votes on_ theirs_! It's going to be, like unanimous!

_(He reaches to the SHORE, grabbing his KNAPSACK. He fishes around inside)_

Here, you want some more caterpillars! Found some more while I was out hiking!

_(Cut to TIMON in a confessional)_

TIMON

On one hand, if we we vote out Dodger, I'm knocking over a major hurtle. I'm a step closer to a million bucks - but also, _Dodger_ said he'd help me get my letter from my Mom tomorrow….

* * *

_(Cut to a shot of DODGER. He sprints through the DESERT, heading back to CAMP. The MOON has come out, shining in the sky above him)_

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

I know they're gunning for me. I got one chance now, man and I'm not slowing down. This ain't no "red-light-green-light."...There's _one_ other option: two people who have been controlling this whole game. Nobody's wised up to it yet. I gotta put the target on them...

* * *

_(Cut to the SHELTER. RITA, CADPIG, MARVIN, and CAT are lounging around on the LOGS, gathered around the FIRE. RITA yawns loudly, stretching. She sprawls out across an entire LOG, taking it all for herself)_

RITA

All right, so from what it_ sounds_ like over there - they're just going to vote out Dodger anyway...

MARVIN

Seems likely...

RITA

RIGHT ON! Cat, you want to slide me some rice?

CAT

We're _low._

RITA

Well, can you spare a kitty a grain?

CAT

_(Trying to be patient)_

Rita, we realize you haven't eaten today...but we have to ration this for another two weeks at least. So if you didn't eat today-

RITA

(Rolling her eyes)

Okay. I'll steal some later...

CADPIG

Rita, shut up.

RITA

What's up with you?

MARVIN

_(Jumping in)_

Please. Can we all just be quiet?

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

I don't get why they're mad. Break out the booze. Put on a party hat. Dodger's going home. I'm just trying to raise some morale here…

_(Cut back to the scene)_

MARVIN

Would you mind going to the well to get some more water, Rita?

RITA

_(Scowling)_

Yeah. I'm mobile. I can walk. I've got you.

_(RITA gets up and walks off into the night)_

CADPIG

_(After a moment)_

I_ hate_ her. I really hate her.

(Nobody responds)

Like, I've studied psychology. I don't know if she's a narcissist or whatever, but seriously, look at that rice. Do you see a plethora of _rice_ there? Is this everyone gets a big handful of rice day?

MARVIN

Stroke Rita's ego. Just do whatever she says...

CAT

I mean, I don't know about you guys, but I'm definitely taking Rita to the end-

MARVIN &amp; CADPIG

_(At the same time)_

No. Yes, yes, definitley...

_(They sit in silence for a moment. CAT smiles, realizing he's made his way into the conversation)_

CAT

Hey...so you guys want to hear a plan I cooked up?

_(DODGER appears behind the SHELTER. He hurries over to the OTHERS, sitting down beside CADPIG on the LOG. Very quickly, he pulls everyone into a HUDDLE. CAT is appalled)_

_CADPIG_

Dodger!?

CAT

_(Gritting his teeth)_

EVERY SINGLE TIME!

DODGER

You guys alone here?

CADPIG

What's up?

CAT

If you're trying to pull things at the last minute-_-_

DODGER

Whose leg am I pulling? Listen, there's _three_ of you here. There's one of me. This isn't Dodge pulling any magic tricks. This is a genuine offer here. If you want to back out on it, be my guest...

MARVIN

_(Coldly)_

Tell us, Dodger...

DODGER

You know what happened with Wakko and Dot today. They're crazy. This stuff is just going to keep happening, over and over, right? They'll control the game. So, here's what I'm thinking. We bring in one more person...and we blindside _Dot_...

_(Cut to CAT in a confessional)_

CAT

Every time I come up with anything, someone's already thought it up. Do people spy on me or something?

_(Cut back to the scene)_

DODGER

Y'know, I imagined shocked faces...

MARVIN

_(Scratching his chin)_

I didn't want to say it around Rita, but yeah... I think it's a good idea. The Warners are too much to handle. What do _you_ think, Cadpig?

CADPIG

_(Glaring at DODGER)_

...You know you hurt me out here, right?

DODGER

If you're still hung up about _Courage-_

CADPIG

_(Taking a step toward DODGER)_

I'm not. This is your chance to earn my trust back….

CAT

_(Angrily)_

Well, who's your number five? If you don't want to tell Rita, then who's your fifth wheel?

DODGER

Timon...

_(Cut to CAT in a confessional)_

_CAT_

I'm not going to let Dodger get the credit for this again. I'm talking to Timon first. I have to give a ten-minute monologue, or talk in sign language, whatever...I don't care. I am _getting_ credit…

* * *

_(Cut to somewhere out in the DESERT. TIMON and CAT stand together under the moonlight. They seem to be in the middle of an argument)_

CAT

Let me give you a hypothetical situation. This is sort of like...chess, all right?

tIMON

I live in Africa. I've never seen a chessboard…

CAT

_(Impatiently)_

I acknowledge that. But in chess, you have to finagle things a little. All right? You have to take out the pawns before you can go for the_ king _.So rather than get rid of Dodger _now_, why don't we _hide_ behind him...and then use him to pick _off_ Marvin and Cadpig?

TIMON

_(After a moment)_

Yeah, I got to pass. _Scram. _Dodge is going home...

CAT

So you don't_ trust_ Dodger?

TIMON

You can beg and whine. Kiss my feet all you want man. I ain't flipping-

CAT

I want to know why.

TIMON

_Scram._

CAT

Did the Warners promise they'd take you to the end? What is it?

TIMON

They didn't promise nothing. You think I'm palling around with them now? Wouldn't help those guys if they were gasping through a straw. Now_ goodbye,_ Cat...

_(TIMON turns his back to CAT. He starts to storm away. CAT watches him, defeated, lost for words)_

CAT

_(Yelling out to TIMON)_

Fine! _Fine!_ I'll talk to Sonic! He'll flip! You're a waste, you know that! Nobody wants you here!

_(TIMON stops dead in his tracks. He takes a deep breath, looking up at the STARS in the sky. Then he looks back at CAT storming away from him. TIMON sighs. He shakes his head and hurries back after CAT)_

_TIMON_

Hey Cat, wait. Cat-

_CAT_

What do _you_ want?

TIMON

No...I just...

CAT

What?

_(TIMON doesn't respond. He closes his eyes, searching for words)_

Y'know, if you bite your tongue any more, it might fall off-

TIMON

I can't believe I'm about to tell you this..._. God..._

CAT

_What?_

TIMON

We're getting letters tomorrow. Letters from home. We're going to have the chance to get letters from people we care about. My Mom sent me a letter...

CAT

How do you know?

TIMON

Dodger caught them setting up. I haven't seen my Mom in years, Cat. Years. I bailed. I left my family in the dust, and if I don't get that letter, it's not boding well for me, and Dodger said he'd help me get it. ...And if you don't believe me, honestly, I don't know what to _tell_ you-

CAT

_(Shocked)_

I mean...why are you telling me though?

TIMON

I don't know what I'm going to do yet. I'm such a _mess._ I haven't decided if I should vote out Dodger or not...

CAT

Wait, wait, does this mean I could get a letter from Dog tomorrow?

TIMON

_(Annoyed)_

I don't know.

CAT

But you just said Dodger saw all the letters-

TIMON

I don't know, Cat! I don't know about _Dog!_ But that's it! _That's_ the situation I'm in here! Now you know!

CAT

...Are you scared of getting a letter from your Mom?

TIMON

I don't know-

CAT

Timon...

TIMON

Yes! Whadya think? I'm terrified, man!

CAT

_(After a moment)_

I mean...you're not alone...

TIMON

_How?_ Cause of you and _Dog?_ Yeah, big whoop...

CAT

_(Glaring at TIMON)_

I haven't had an easy life, _Timon!_ It's not easy to look different, to be terrorized, harassed just because Dog and I look a little different than everyone else. I'm separated from him for the first time - and I've hurt him, I've sent him home, and I don't even know if he's forgiven me or _not. _So _yes. _I'd say it's a pretty big deal for me to suddenly get a letter from _Dog-_

TIMON

I'm sorry! I mean...we _all_ have it rough. Maybe that's why we're here...

_(They stand in silence. There is a blaring horn in the distance, signifying TRIBAL COUNCIL. It is time to leave. CAT and TIMON stare at one another, not knowing what to say)_

TIMON

_(Quietly)_

I mean...thanks for listening though...

CAT

How badly do you want that letter, Timon?

TIMON

Bad...

_(The horn blares again. From about fifty yards away, floating flames are approaching The rest of the TRIBE is heading out into the DESERT, each armed with their respective TORCH. DODGER steps out of the line. He nods at TIMON, beckoning him to come over to talk. CAT and TIMON glance at one another. They offer one another weak smiles before walking to join the OTHERS)_

_(Cut to TIMON in a confessional. He isn't smiling anymore)_

TIMON

So it comes down to this. What means more? A family that might hate me for what I did...or a million dollars to show for leaving them...

* * *

_(Cut to TRIBAL COUNCIL. The NINE CONTESTANTS enter with their TORCHES. They place them in their POSTS on the ground. Everyone takes their seats. One-by-one, they are called to vote)_

_(Cut to RITA in the voting booth)_

RITA

Dodger, if you mention the words _"New York"_ one more time, I will take a scalpel and peel off each of my ears.

_(Cut to CADPIG in the voting booth)_

CADPIG

We haven't spent a lot of time together…but when we _did_ Wakko, you were really nice to me. You have immunity tonight. So...Dot, _please_…this is just a game...

_(Cut to DODGER in the voting booth)_

DODGER

Timon, this _allllll_ rests on you, man**. **And I've got ties in the city, all right? I know people. So watch out...

_(Cut to CAT in the voting booth)_

CAT

_"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so"._ That's from Hamlet. By Shakespeare. Um, yeah. I...I had a connection there but...I guess it escaped me. Is the camera rolling? Well, all right. Bye, Dot.

_(Cut to SONIC in the voting booth)_

SONIC

Dodger, you've got style, I like that. I'd love to chill with you back home...but you're _waaaaay_ too much of a threat to keep around…

_(Cut to MARVIN in the voting booth)_

MARVIN

Hey Dot, remember when you asked me why I couldn't have fun?_ This_ is fun.

_(Cut to WAKKO in the voting booth. He doesn't say anything. He just barks like a dog and gives a thumbs-up. Then he writes down a name)_

_(Cut to DOT in the voting booth)_

DOT

Let's see you _"dodge"_ this one, big guy. HAH! SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

_(Cut to TIMON in the voting booth. He doesn't say anything. He thinks for a second. Then he sighs and begins to write the letter 'D")_

* * *

_(The HOST exits the VOTING CORRIDOR with the URN full of VOTES. He steps up to his PODIUM and glances out at the TRIBE)_

_HOST_

If anyone has a hidden immunity idol, now would be the time to play it...

_(Everyone glances at MARVIN and CADPIG, a little curious. CADPIG doesn't even go for her KNAPSACK. MARVIN seems to consider it for a moment. Then he stiffens up, staring at the HOST)_

...Once the votes are read, the decision is final. The person voted out will be asked to leave immediately. I'll read the votes...

* * *

**FIRST VOTE**

**DODGER**

**SECOND VOTE**

**DODGER**

**THIRD VOTE**

**DODGER**

**FOURTH VOTE**

**DODGER**

**FIFTH VOTE**

**DOT**

**SIXTH VOTE**

**DOT**

**SEVENTH VOTE**

**DOT**

**EIGHTH VOTE**

**DOT**

**NINTH VOTE**

**DOT**

**Eighth person voted out and the second member of our Jury…**

**DOT**

* * *

_(Cut to the TRIBES' reaction. RITA and SONIC are not happy. They look around, searching for answers. TIMON just stares out at the fire, refusing to acknowledge them._

_DODGER raises his fist in the air, triumphant. CAT breathes a sigh of relief, closing his eyes. MARVIN just nods, assured since they arrived at TRIBAL that this was going to work._

_CADPIG seems upset. She's struggling to hide it. However, this is difficult as she glances over at WAKKO. WAKKO's jaw is hanging open. He stares at the FINAL VOTE. He can't piece together what's just happened._

_DOT stares at the VOTE, humiliated, wishing she could disappear. She glares at the OTHERS - DODGER and CAT, for example, who are practically celebrating her downfall)_

_HOST_

_(Breaking the silence)_

Dot...time to go. Please bring me your torch...

WAKKO

_(Furious)_

Nice one, guys!Great play_. Wow,_ look at that-

DOT

_(To WAKKO)_

Shhh. Shhh...

_(She takes his HANDS, squeezing them)_

Win. _Win..._

_(DOT hugs WAKKO. She takes a deep breath and crosses over to grab her TORCH. Before she approaches the HOST, she turns back to the OTHERS. She seems on the verge of tears. Still, through everything she smiles. She raises a fist to everyone and starts to sing)_

DOT

(Singing)

_"I've got all my life to live. I've got all my love to give. And I'll SURVIIIIIVE! I will SURVIIIIIVE! HEY, HEYYYYYY!" _Seeya losers, don't forget to write...

_(DOT jams her TORCH in the post on the ground. She smiles as the HOST stares at her, holding the torch snuffer in hand)_

_HOST_

Dot...the tribe has spoken...

_(He puts out DOT's torch. DOT tries to smile as the smoke rises into the air)_

Time for you to go...

_(DOT heaves her KNAPSACK over her back. She turns to look back at WAKKO. She gives him one last nod - small and quick, but it's enough. WAKKO tries feebly to smile back. DOT takes a deep breath. She walks down the corridor, exiting the game for good. The HOST turns to address the TRIBE)_

HOST

And just like that, there are _no more _family members left in this game. It's going to be a long, hard fight to the finish...and I can't wait to watch. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp. Good night...

* * *

**VOTE TALLY**

* * *

**CADPIG voted for DOT**

**DODGER voted for DOT**

**TIMON voted for DOT**

**CAT voted for DOT**

**MARVIN voted for DOT**

**RITA voted for DODGER**

**SONIC voted for DODGER**

**WAKKO voted for DODGER**

**DOT voted for DODGER**


	22. If You Can't Take The Heat, Part I

_(Cut the TRIBE returning to CAMP. WAKKO walks ahead of the group, staying apart from the OTHERS. He leans his TORCH up against the SHELTER and starts to walk off into the DESERT. Nobody goes after him)_

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

We didn't want to incorporate Rita into the Dot vote. She cracks under pressure. So when we got back, I anticipated...a lot of screaming, whining...basically a lot of Rita - but as the Earthlings would say, she was..._"chill."_

_(Cut to several minutes later. MARVIN, CAT, and CADPIG are gathered around the CAMPFIRE on the LOGS. RITA is standing up, smiling at all of them)_

CADPIG

We didn't know if we could trust you, Rita. If you want, I'll even write you a book about it...

RITA

_(Turning her back to CADPIG)_

Okay, cool, I _like _reading.

_(She turns to MARVIN)_

…Hey Marv, can we chat for a second?

MARVIN

_(Bowing to RITA)_

As you wish, your highness...

_(RITA starts to leave. MARVIN gets up to follow her. As he walks out, he winks at CAT and CADPIG. CAT can hardly contain his laughter. CADPIG, on the other hand, seems concerned)_

CAT

_(Grinning at CADPIG)_

So..do you get any of this?

CADPIG

Huh?

CAT

This weird fixation Rita has with Marvin?

CADPIG

.I mean, there's this thing in psychology called "projection." That's where people can, like—

CAT

_(Cutting her off)_

Ah, yes, yes, of course, "projection-"

CADPIG

_(Annoyed)_

Let me_ tell_ you-

CAT

_(Continuing, not listening)_

"Projection." Definition. That's when you treat somebody a certain way because they remind you of somebody - or something. So - _wait,_ wait, you think that's what's going on with-

CADPIG

_(Scowling)_

I was going to tell you - then_ you_ butted in—

CAT

Oh. Carry on...

CADPIG

_(Massaging her head)_

Maybe Rita sees something in Marvin. I'm not Rita. I don't know. I can't judge what goes through her head...But...I mean, do _you_ think there's something brewing between the two of them again?

CAT

_(Frowning, not looking at her)_

He came to _you_ about forming an alliance. ...Honestly, taking_ you_ out before Dodger wouldn't make any sense.

_(He pauses for a moment, noticing CADPIG looks worried)_

Of course...if you_ do_ want to spy on them—

CADPIG

_(Shaking her head)_

I'm not going to read into it...

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

I kind of feel bad for Cat. He helped me out this round. He's never really been anything other than just…annoying and full of himself. So, I figure I can break some barriers. Friendship is like a gazillion-pound bulldozer. I want to pinch his cute little cheeks and pull his whiskers...

_(Cut back to the scene. CADPIG forces a smile at CAT. He isn't looking at her now. He breaks twigs, tossing them into the FIRE)_

CADPIG

_(Smiling, moving closer to him)_

It's just funny - we've been on the same tribe since the game started, but I feel like this is the first time it's just the_ two_ of us...

CAT

Well, I'm glad we can_ talk..._

_(An awkward silence. CAT scrunches his face, trying to make conversation with CADPIG. She looks on at him in concern)_

_CAT_

_(Finally speaking)_

So...where are you _from_ again?

CADPIG

Minnesota. A farm. I told you- the first day, silly!

CAT

Well, _a lot's_ happened.

CADPIG

_(After a moment)_

You want to play a game?

CAT

What?

CADPIG

We have to tell each other three fun facts!

CAT

I don't think so—

CADPIG

_Hi._ I'm _Cadpig._ Let's see...I'm scared of lighting storms, I like to roll around in car tires, I have a spot on my belly shaped like Russia—

CAT

Neat...

CADPIG

_(Lightly)_

Your turn.

_(CAT pauses, staring into the FIRE. For some reason, this topic is very difficult for him)_

I mean..what do _you_ do for_ fun, _Cat?

CAT

I don't know…

CADPIG

Okay...

CAT

_(Uncomfortable)_

That's a lot to ask somebody—

CADPIG

Why?

CAT

"What do you do for _fun?"_ I mean, it's just so open-ended...What's "fun?" Fun's different to everyone. I mean, off the top of my head...I don't _know._

CADPIG

_Do_ you ever have fun?

CAT

I...I read books, I listen to opera, and I practice cooking...

CADPIG

_(Gently)_

I mean...that was _all_ you had to tell me—

CAT

_(Glaring at her)_

What do you do for _fun?_

_(Cut to CAT in a confessional)_

CAT

...I convinced Timon to flip tonight. I haven't been this excited since I had my spice garden published in _Shrubbery Monthly_ – but I don't know, I guess I should open up to people here more. It's just...I feel like we don't have anything in common.

_(He pauses for a moment)_

If I make it to the end pretending...then I'm not being myself.

* * *

_(Cut to somewhere out in the DESERT. WAKKO is walking through the DESERT, swinging his arms. There are bugs chirping all around him. The moon is out. Rather than upset about what's happened, WAKKO has a smile on his face)_

_Rain is beginning to fall. It showers down on the valley, drenching it completely. WAKKO stands on the cliff, smiling at everything in front of him. We're not sure if he's crying or it's just the rain. WAKKO kneels down. He takes a handful of MUD. Very carefully, WAKKO paints a thick line of MUD across each of his cheeks)_

_(Cut back to WAKKO in a confessional. His face is decked out in MUD like some kind of tribal warrior. He grins at the camera with his TONGUE hanging out)_

WAKKO

BEHOLD, "SURVIVOR!" WAKKO! DEVOURER OF HOPES, DREAMS, AND ANYTHING WITH A JELLY FILLING! I AM A WARNER BROTHER! HEAR MY ROAR AND TREMBLE!

_(WAKKO grabs another handful of MUD from the ground. He smashes it into his face for good measure. Then he grins and hops up and down, shaking his face in the RAIN)_

* * *

_(Cut to RITA and MARVIN standing together out in the DESERT. The moon is shining above them. RITA is grinning at MARVIN. MARVIN, meanwhile, doesn't seem to want to be there)_

RITA

You're spending a lot of time with Cadpig-

MARVIN

You _know_ why-

RITA

Because you're waiting until she drives you nuts?

MARVIN

_(Glaring at her)_

Cadpig and I each have an Idol. Did you feel _threatened_ at all tonight by us?

RITA

_(Laughing)_

I mean, I planning to cut your throat eventually, you were planning to cut mine-

MARVIN

So are you flustered about it now?

RITA

I'm not. You were the first to draw blood. N_ow_ I have to be on high alert.

MARVIN

Are you saying you're going to _target_ me now?

RITA

_(Winking)_

Maybe.

MARVIN

_(Struggling to be patient)_

I have no intention of voting you out anytime soon...

RITA

Nobody wants to vote me out, Marv. I thought you realized that...

_(For a moment. MARVIN seems to want to argue. Then he shakes his head. He unstraps his CANTEEN. Then he raises it in front of RITA, urging her to do the same)_

MARVIN

Well, let's raise a toast...to you. Yet _another_ person trying to vote me out. Here's to it. Rally your troops, Rita. Spread the word. We'll see what happens.

_(RITA smiles at MARVIN. She takes off her own CANTEEN. She raises it in the AIR and clinks it against MARVIN'S)_

MARVIN

Before a war, generals shake hands...

_(MARVIN offers a handshake to RITA. She accepts. She digs her claws into his hands a little)_

RITA

Sorry, I've been known to_ slip_ \- involuntarily-

MARVIN

Lets head back to camp; it's getting late-

_(MARVIN turns to leave. RITA, however, stops him in his tracks)_

RITA

Wait Marvin, I have a present...

MARVIN

_(Dismayed)_

Let me guess, you have an_ Idol?_

RITA

_(Grinning)_

No, no, Marvin - no Idols. My pocket's are empty. This here is an act of charity. From Rita's heart to yours...

_(She takes a deep breath. She starts to speak like she's telling a dramatic story)_

Now Marvin...did I ever tell you about the time I got caught in a fire in Burbank? I was staying at this homeless shelter on Hollywood Boulevard. One night, there was a fire. You had dogs crawling over cats, cats crawling over dogs. I basically had to claw my way through a pile of animals to escape. Breaking some toes, clawing out some whiskers-

_(RITA takes a threatening step toward MARVIN. MARVIN stiffens, not backing down)_

MARVIN

If you so much as touch me-

RITA

_(Continuing)_

Now, at the last minute, I realized there was a back room full of kittens. Locked in cages, breathing in smoke, and so I high-tailed it back inside. Picked some locks. Got those critters out. This incident, Marvin, gave me a fear of fire, a burn mark on my belly, and as luck would have it-

_(Out of nowhere, RITA crosses to a BUSH beside them. She fishes inside and pulls out a BABY JACKRABBIT)_

A love of CUDDLY LITTLE ANIMALS!

MARVIN

_(Lost for words)_

What?

RITA

_(Handing the BUNNY to MARVIN)_

His name is Hopsalot. I stole him from the bunny challenge. I've been keeping him and feeding him rice. Now he's yours. Play with him. Pet him. Get some of that stress out. Good night-

MARVIN

(Bewildered)

Wait Rita, what am I supposed to feed this thing?

RITA

Good night, Marvin.

_(RITA yawns. Amused with MARVIN's confusion, she turns to walk away)_

MARVIN

Does it have rabies?

RITA

_Good night, Marvin..._

_MARVIN_

_RITA!_

(Cut to RITA in a confessional)

RITA

Y'know, I want to mess with him. I want him to never know when I'm going to send him home. ...So low and behold, I gave him a bunny. The look on his face? Priceless...

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional. The BUNNY is on his SHOULDER, trying to nibble at his face)_

MARVIN

It keeps trying to nibble my ears...but I don't have any ears. What is it trying to do?

* * *

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

I made a promise to Timon and I've got to stick by it. It's not just for the game. I mean, I still have some integrity left in me - plus if I backed out on Timon now, I'd probably lose his jury vote...

_(Cut to DODGER and TIMON sitting by the CAMPFIRE)_

DODGER

I don't go back on my promises. I meant what I said. Hell or high water, you're getting that letter today-

TIMON

Just remember - my jury vote rests on this...

DODGER

_(Smiling at him)_

In that case, it looks like I got my first jury vote...

* * *

_(Cut to the POND. CADPIG is standing in the shallow end. She holds a sharpened stick, trying to spear FISH. DODGER walks up behind her. CADPIG notices. She takes a deep breath and throws the STICK aside)_

DODGER

_(Grinning)_

So...was I telling the truth?

CADPIG

Yes Dodger. Dot went home. What, do you want me to get on my knees and kiss your feet?

DODGER

If by some stretch of miracle _you_ win, I'll kiss yours-

CADPIG

It's been like a zillion days in the wilderness; you're really talking about touching my nasty feet?

DODGER

I know you've kissed some_ other_ things out here...

CADPIG

What?

DODGER

A joke, kid.

_(Pause)_

I...I was joking...

CADPIG

Yeah.._.don't._

DODGER

All righty then..

_(An awkward silence. DODGER searches for what to say)_

So...you want to skip some rocks like old times? I think you've got the record, and let me tell ya, I'm not going to stand for that-

CADPIG

You want to get pulverized? Let's go.

* * *

_(Cut to a shot of CADPIG and DODGER standing by the POND. They are talking casually, but we don't hear what they're saying. The camera follows the ROCKS as they skip across the WATER, sending ripples across the POND._

_ DODGER is laughing at something that CADPIG said to him. He chucks his ROCK hard, skipping it about six times. _

_CADPIG is smiling as well - but the moment DODGER turns away, her face changes. She watches as DODGER kneels down, scanning the shore for more ROCKS. She seems upset. Yet at the same time, her eyes are focused and determined)_

_(Cut to CADPIG in a CONFESSIONAL)_

CADPIG

I don't want to dislike people. I mean, my favorite moments here have just been sitting around the campfire, or joking around with everyone, or..skipping rocks with Dodger...but I'm not going to get to the end by being _nice _now...

_(Cut back to the scene. DODGER lobs a ROCK across the POND. At the same time, CADPIG throws her own. It proceeds to knock DODGER's out of the way, skipping eight times across the pond)_

_(Cut back to CADPIG in a confessional)_

_CADPIG_

All of a sudden, I feel like If I saw my brothers again, they wouldn't know who I was...

_(She pauses for a moment)_

But I'm not winning this for Cadpig anymore. I'm winning this for Courage. For Dot. For everyone that this game's made an absolute mockery of. I don't care what anyone says. We're more than just numbers. We're more than votes and alliances. We're _people_ \- dogs, cats, whatever Wakko is - and this game shouldn't control us like guinea pigs being patronized and experimented on.

_(She takes a deep breath, composing herself)_

Oh my God...that was the coolest speech I've ever made in my life...

_(Cut again to the POND. DODGER throws a rock that skips nine times across the POND. He jumps up and down, hollering for joy. CADPIG scowls at him)_

_(Cut back to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

I don't forgive Dodger for what he did...and right now, he's my number-one target...

* * *

_(Cut to the following morning. The camera zooms in on the AUCTION CHALLENGE that DODGER spied on the day before. A small set of BLEACHERS is set up in a clearing. In front of the BLEACHERS is a trading stand. A sign with the word "AUCTION" hang sin the front. The HOST waits behind the STAND, smiling out at the morning)_

_HOST_

_Come on in, guys!_

_(DODGER, MARVIN, CAT, RITA, CADPIG, SONIC, TIMON, and WAKKO enter in a LINE. They all walk over to the BLEACHERS and take their SEATS. They stare at the HOST, eager, excited. The HOST grins back at them)_

HOST

Welcome to the_ "Survivor Auction."_ First thing's first...be aware that this is not a challenge for immunity. Your immunity challenge will happen later today. Rather, this is a chance to bid on advantages that may help you in this game. These could be anything. Food. Hygiene items. If you're lucky...even advantages that could you at Tribal Council. Earlier today, you were all given five-hundred dollars. Bidding will be in increments of twenty. The auction will end without warning, so if you see something you like, bid on it. Shall we get started?

_(EVERYONE applauds, ready to begin. The HOST smiles and reaches behind the STAND. He pulls out a PEANUT-BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH sitting on a PLATE)_

_HOST_

First item...a PB&amp;J. Let's start off easy. Start the bidding at...twenty dollars?

_(Everyone is initially reluctant. DODGER, MARVIN, TIMON, and CADPIG show no interest. CAT, SONIC, RITA, and WAKKO seem to be considering it)_

_RITA_

_(Smiling)_

Wakko...is that your stomach growling?

WAKKO

It is, Rita. It's telling you to bid on the tasty sandwich-

RITA

I don't think so...

WAKKO

_Peanut butter goodness..._

SONIC

_(Raising his hand)_

Twenty dollars.

HOST

That's twenty for Sonic. Going once, going _twice..._

WAKKO

_Forty._

HOST

Wakko can't take the hunger. Forty dollars to Wakko. Going once, going twice...

SONIC

Sixty.

WAKKO

_Eighty..._

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional)_

WAKKO

I didn't think they were going to give away another Idol, since there's already two in possession. Ny stomach talks to me sometimes, and recently, it's been having a psychotic breakdown. If they were giving out food, I was going to stock up. ...Besides, unless I have food in my belly, I'm not going to do well in the challenges...

_(Cut back to the scene)_

SONIC

That's _waaaaay_ too much for a sandwich-

WAKKO

Love doesn't have a price, Sonic. It has peanuts.

HOST

Sold to Wakko for eighty dollars!

_(WAKKO hops up from the BLEACHERS. He hurries over to the HOST and hands him EIGHTY DOLLARS. WAKKO grabs the SANDWICH and proceeds to devour it in almost one bite. The OTHERS grimace, trying not to watch. Some of their stomachs are growling audibly)_

_HOST_

How does it _taste?_

WAKKO

_(Eyes closed)_

I'm in heaven. Talk to my digestive system...

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

So throughout the auction, Timon keeps looking over at me and scowling. I can't tell what he's thinking, but I know he's holding out his money for the letter from his Mom. What worried me though, is that if Timon got the letter_ first, _he'd spin some kind of lie and say I blackmailed him for the letter. So I dug myself into the hole, I had to pull myself out. I could've had a peanut butter sandwich. Hell, I'd kill for a bunch of hot dogs right now...but I had to keep things in perspective...

_(Cut to a MONTAGE of the AUCTION. The BIDS continue. RITA wins a platter of CHEESE and CRACKERS. SONIC wins a bag of POTATO CHIPS. WAKKO bids again and wins an ICE CREAM SUNDAE. Eventually, we cut to the HOST surveying the OTHERS. DODGER, CADPIG, MARVIN, TIMON, and CAT have yet to participate)_

HOST

So what's going on here, guys? Is the food not enough for you? Or are you holding out all five-hundred dollars for some kind of game advantage?

CAT

Yes, that sounds about right...

TIMON

_(Whispering to DODGER)_

You remember what I said, right?

DODGER

_(Loudly to the HOST)_

Honestly, I just haven't seen anything I like yet...

TIMON

_(Relieved)_

There we go...

HOST

So wait a second - if Cadpig, Dodger, Cat, Timon, and Marvin are all holding out for an advantage, how is the bid even going to happen? Are you all just planning to bid the same amount? See, here's _my_ idea. If you all hold out your five-hundred dollars, you'll still have a chance at the advantage - but rather than buying it, it will be a chance to randomly draw rocks to receive the advantage. Who's _up_ for it?

_(There's a brief hesitance. CADPIG glances at the OTHERS. She sighs and raises her hand, putting in her name for the drawing. MARVIN does the same. There's still no activity from CAT, TIMON, and DODGER)_

HOST

Interesting...So Cadpig and Marvin are both willing to bid all their money on the advantage. The two people who both _openly_ have immunity idols in this game are bidding for an advantage - and yet for some reason, nobody is stepping in to stop them. What's going on here, guys?

SONIC

What're you doing, Dodge? Come on. Step in. Don't let them get it...

_(DODGER seems conflicted. TIMON glances at him worriedly, watching as CADPIG and MARVIN count their five-hundred dollars)_

TIMON

Dodge...what's going on, man? Are you walking out on me?

DODGER

_(Sighing)_

We can't let them get the advantage, Timon. I'm sorry. Keep your five-hundred. You can probably get the letter yourself, all right?

CADPIG

_(Eavesdropping on them)_

Hey, is there something we should know about here?

DODGER

_(Raising his hand)_

Put my name in.

HOST

Dodger, Marvin, and Cadpig - all willing to bet literally_ all_ of their money on a game advantage. Cat and Timon, meanwhile, have not moved since this auction's started. What's going on, guys?

CAT

We don't know if this is the end of the auction or not. There could be another advantage, so I'd rather hold off my money for that one than have a one-in-four shot at getting this one...

HOST

And Timon?

TIMON

(Quietly)

Yeah...what Cat said, basically. We don't know what's going to happen...

_(Cut to TIMON in a confessional)_

TIMON

I couldn't blame Dodger for backing out on me. I mean, it made sense. Cadpig and Marvin already have Idols. They don't need an advantage...But it didn't stop me from being angry at him. At that moment, I wanted that letter so badly. I was willing to walk over to the damn stand and knock the freaking thing to the ground...

_(Cut back to the SCENE. DODGER, MARVIN, and CADPIG cross up to the STAND with their MONEY. They each give FIVE-HUNDRED DOLLARS to the HOST. He proceeds to reach behind the STAND and pull out a BAG)_

_HOST_

Inside this bag is three rocks. Two white, one black. Whoever draws the black rock will claim the advantage. You guys ready? Keep your palms closed...

_(CADPIG, DODGER, and MARVIN reach into the BAG. They each take a ROCK, shutting it inside their FISTS)_

And...reveal...

_(They open their FISTS. DODGER and CADPIG have both drawn WHITE. MARVIN, meanwhile, has drawn the single BLACK ROCK. He breathes a sigh of relief. CADPIG, disappointed, just smiles at him a little before placing her ROCK back in the BAG. DODGER's frustration knows no words. He slams his ROCK on the GROUND and storms back to his SEAT)_

HOST

Marvin has won an advantage in the immunity challenge at Final Five! Congratulations...

MARVIN

The pleasure is all mine. Thank you...

_(They file back to their SEATS. DODGER is dismayed, realizing he's just wasted his money on nothing. He watches reluctantly beside him as WAKKO finishes licking the bowl of his finished ICE CREAM SUNDAE. CAT and TIMON now are more tense than anyone. With five-hundred dollars to spare each, they realize the next bid will come down to the two of them)_

HOST

All right guys...let's do something a little different. You've been out here for weeks now. Everything's getting unbearable. The lack of food, the starvation, sleeping on rocks and picking bugs out of your fur. Well, today, we're going to offer you something you've sorely been missing - love from _home._

_(The HOST reaches behind the STAND and pulls out a BUNDLE of LETTERS. He places them down for everyone to see. Right away, CADPIG, DODGER, WAKKO, and SONIC look horrified. They see they could've gotten letters from home, but they've already spent most of their money. MARVIN and RITA, meanwhile, seem rather unfazed. In fact, they even seem a little uncomfortable)_

HOST

Cat and Timon, you each have five-hundred dollars left. This will come down to the two of you. Again, we will do a rock draw...and whoever draws the black rock will receive their letter...

TIMON

_(To CAT)_

Cat, look at me - please-

CAT

_(Not looking at him)_

I _know_, Timon-

TIMON

You're going to have your brother after this game. Dog's still around. If I ignore that letter, I might never see my Mom again. She might hate me. I don't even know what that letter says, man. _C'mon-_

SONIC

What's going on?

DODGER

_(Rubbing his face)_

Oh man, this is _not_ good...

TIMON

C'mon Cat, please,let me _have_ this. You can have anything else. Food. An advantage. Anything. I mean, what do you want?

CAT

_(Struggling)_

I know. I know - but listen. I...I didn't part from Dog on a good note-

TIMON

_So?_

CAT

So...I have no idea what that letter says Timon - and honestly, I'm going through a lot right now. I don't know what he's been thinking. This is a big decision for me-

TIMON

Like hell it is! I can't believe you, _Cat!_

HOST

Cat, are you stepping up to bid or not?

_(A stiff silence. The OTHERS watch in confusion, not sure what's going on. TIMON glares at CAT, waiting for an answer)_

_CAT_

_...Yes._

_(CAT steps up without looking at TIMON. He crosses over to the STAND, waiting to draw ROCKS. TIMON's eyes are filled with rage. He gets up after CAT, storming over to the STAND as well. The HOST offers out another BAG to both of them)_

HOST

All right guys, make your pick...

CAT

Timon, listen to me-

TIMON

Shut up.

CAT

_(Struggling)_

Listen...you have to understand my biggest fear here. Dog and I were _conjoined._ We've been attached through our entire life, and we were only separated to play this game. After what happened_,_ my fear is that Dog's not going to want to be with me again after this game. Do you get that? I _need_ to know. I can't just, like, leave the letter here - and if he finds out that I left it-

TIMON

I get that this is coming down to the two of us, and that's fine. Now...pick your damn rock...

_(CAT takes a deep breath. He reaches into the BAG. TIMON follows. They each hold out their FIST, ready to open them. The HOST raises his eyebrows)_

HOST

Ready? Go...

_(They open their FISTS. CAT has drawn the BLACK ROCK. TIMON doesn't move. He stares down at the WHITE ROCK in his hand, lost for words. He growls and tosses it onto the ground. Without another word, he starts to storm back to the BENCH. CADPIG stands up, concerned, trying to address what's happening)_

CADPIG

Guys look, you _really_ have to clue us in here. We're really lost-

TIMON

It's what it looks like! I can't get a letter from my _Mom_ now! _Great! Terrific!_

CAT

_(Pleading)_

...I said I was _sorry-_

TIMON

_Shut it!_

HOST

Wait Cat, before you leave - there is another catch to this. You have received a chance to read a letter from Dog. However, that's all you were bidding on - a choice. You're going to be faced with an option now. You can keep your letter for yourself...or you give up your letter...allowing everyone else to receive theirs...

_(Everybody tenses up. They stare at CAT, watching as he picks up the BUNDLE of LETTERS on the STAND. CADPIG, SONIC, and WAKKO all look very concerned. The anger in TIMON's eyes is gone now. He looks at CAT, pleading, desperate)_

TIMON

Cat...c'mon...look at all of us here. Don't think about yourself for once...

CADPIG

Come on, Cat...

SONIC

Cat, come on, level with me, bro...

_(CAT turns feebly to look at the OTHERS. He holds the LETTERS to his CHEST. His eyes are brimming with tears. The HOST glances at him, concerned, wondering what he's going to choose)_

_(Cut to CAT in a confessional)_

CAT

I...I never wanted to hurt anyone. I know people don't like me, but I do whatever I can to make things better...but with Dog, it's like...this isn't about the game. It's personal. I've been out here forever...and I don't know what Dog's been thinking...

_(Cut back to the scene. CAT takes a deep breath, turning back to the HOST)_

HOST

...Cat?

CAT

_(Quietly)_

I'd like my letter from my brother please...

_(Cut to the TRIBES' reaction. Almost everyone is appalled. CAT takes the BUNDLE of LETTERS, pulling off the ELASTIC BAND. He flips through them before pulling out the one addressed to him. Without another word, he crosses back to his SEAT)_

_(Cut to TIMON glaring in a confessional)_

_TIMON_

And that was when Cat made the biggest mistake of the whole game...


	23. If You Can't Take The Heat, Part II

_(Cut to the center of CAMP. Everybody is off somewhere. TIMON and SONIC are sitting alone in the SHELTER)_

TIMON

Really man, I'm _fine _now. I hope Cat falls down a well...

SONIC

_(Scratching his head)_

I mean, I wouldn't wish any, like, bodily harm to Cat-

TIMON

_(Glaring at him)_

So are we splitting the votes between Dodger and Marvin?

SONIC

_(Taken aback)_

You don't have to yell.

TIMON

_(Rubbing his hands together)_

So we tell Marvin to vote for Dodger. We tell Dodger to vote for Marvin. We'll tell Dodger we're splitting the votes between Marvin and - I don't know, _Wakko._ Whatever. The rest of us just split votes between Marvin and Dodger. If Marvin doesn't play his Idol, he goes home - and if he _does,_ we dump all of our votes on Dodger. How does that sound?

SONIC

Okay...

TIMON

You're raising your eyebrows, Sonic.

SONIC

_(Struggling to be patient)_

People aren't just these...they aren't just these puppets you can control by pressing a button. So _please, c_alm down-

TIMON

Why wouldn't they want to split the_ votes?_

SONIC

Are you still on_ edge_ because of the letter?

TIMON

_No._

SONIC

This _has_ to end though—

TIMON

Forget Cat. Leave him for the buzzards!

SONIC

You're angry again—

TIMON

_Yes._ Because whenever I try to talk with you,_ Sonic,_ it's like I'm having a conversation with a mannequin! Are we splitting the votes or _not?_

SONIC

_(Sighing)_

Okay, whatever-

TIMON

I don't _get_ you! It's like you don't care!

SONIC

I _do_ care, Timon. I'm not a quitter. You want to split the votes? Split them. _Fine._ Right down the middle. Now...since I'm the _"one who doesn't care"_ here - do you want me to talk to the others?

TIMON

_No._

SONIC

I assume you want _me_ to go with you?

TIMON

Yes...in case you haven't realized, when you have two people talking to you, it's _much_ more threatening—

SONIC

_(Rolling his eyes)_

Fine. Let's threaten people. That's what this game's all about now I guess. Lead the way, mighty meerkat...

_(They start to walk off together. SONIC glances at TIMON wearily, watching as he marches onward. SONIC sighs and starts to sing to himself, easing the tension)_

SONIC

_"Flying around at the speed of sound. Got places to go. Got to follow my rainbow-"_

TIMON

What are you singing?

SONIC

Am I not allowed to sing now?

TIMON

_(Trying to be nice again)_

...No. Singing's cool. Um, let me think.._."In the jungle, the mighty jungle. The lion sleeps tonight..."_

SONIC &amp; TIMON

_"In the village, the quiet village, the lion sleeps tonighttttttt..."_

_(Cut to SONIC in a confessional)_

SONIC

I mean, sorry about your Mom, dude. But let's have a heart-to-heart. Let's talk about it. Timon's just so content with being angry at everyone...

* * *

_(Cut to somewhere out in the DESERT. CADPIG and MARVIN are sitting up against a large BOULDER. MARVIN is now holding his new pet BUNNY. It nuzzles into his shoulder as he feeds it a carrot)_

CADPIG

I never really took you as the fuzzy, wuzzy type—

MARVIN

I love animals. Growing up I had - let's see - I had a space parrot, a dog - well, I still _have_ the dog - oh_,_ and a few space guinea pigs...

CADPIG

Wait.._._what's the difference between a space guinea pig and an, um...Earth guinea...pig?

MARVIN

They eat Dalmatians.

_(CADPIG looks frightened for a second)_

...Kidding. Just lettuce

CADPIG

You're funny! Where's that been for three weeks, Marvin?

MARVIN

_(Ignoring the question)_

Do you want to hold my bunny?

CADPIG

I'd be DEE-LIGHTED!

_(MARVIN hands the BUNNY to CADPIG, who takes it with open arms)_

Hello, cuddly-wuddly friend. I'm Cadpig. I'll be your babysitter once Marvin gets voted out...

_(Brief pause)_

That was a_ joke-_

MARVIN

_(Laughing)_

Of course. _You?_ Babysitting? I'd even consider Zim before I called you...

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

I'm kind of in a rough spot with Marvin. One, because he has an Idol...so it's probably a bad idea to keep him around. But once you sit down, and you really get to _know_ him...Marvin's..._nice._ So, I _could_ vote Marvin out...but then I'd have to deal with the fact that I_ kept_ Dodger over Marvin - and the last thing I want is Dodger's smug face if we blindside Marvin...

_(Cut back to the scene. MARVIN takes the BUNNY back from CADPIG. He strokes it, staring out at the DESERT, not looking at her)_

MARVIN

So...have you given any thought to the vote?

CADPIG

_(Slowly)_

I mean...we _both_ have Idols, and everyone's terrified, backing us into a corner. So, I mean...we should sway everyone toward Dodger, right?

MARVIN

Is that a promise?

CADPIG

_(Forced)_

A promise and a half!

MARVIN

Well, after this round - _if_ Dodger _did_ get voted out tonight, regardless of who wins immunity - we'd be in trouble. They'll be no one left to hide behind. Once Dodger's gone, they'll all band together to split the votes between one of us and probably Wakko. We'll _have_ to play our Idols. After that, we'd _both_ be voted out no question. So to get further than that...we_ need_ to keep the game divided.

CADPIG

So you're saying align with _Dodger?_

MARVIN

Dodger's our shield. We should use for now ...Just curious - sorry - do you have some kind of vendetta against him?

CADPIG

Well, _you_ do too—

MARVIN

But I'm not against _working_ with Dodger to get ahead. See the difference? Really, if we're going to keep Dodger to take the target off of us...I think we should vote out Sonic. Sonic hasn't offended anyone—

CADPIG

(Shocked)

Wait, _seriously?_

MARVIN

_(Rolling his eyes)_

Well, he's offended _you_ and Courage...yes, I remember that. But Sonic's _not_ our only option. As much as I'd like to get rid of Rita...Timon and Cat are very good targets. Sonic's loyal at least...but Timon and Cat have flipped...what, three times _each?_ See, if we got rid of Timon or Cat, we could always bring Rita with us to the end anyway. Nobody's going to vote for her. Sonic could be an invisible threat, true...but we could send him home no problem. ...Do you understand?

CADPIG

_(After a moment)_

So...I mean.._.Timon?_

MARVIN

Vote out Timon tonight?

CADPIG

_Yes._

MARVIN

So that's settled...

CADPIG

_(After a moment)_

Now, if I may ask - and I_ like_ him, I wouldn't want to see him go home - but why not _Wakko?_

MARVIN

I think Rita, Cat, Timon, and Sonic are going to band together out of fear. If we voted out Dodger now, their next logical step would be splitting the votes between one of _us_ and Wakko. So realistically...we should herd Wakko over to us...so we have another distraction...

CADPIG

Us...plus Dodger?

MARVIN

Correct...

CADPIG

Well...then whose our number five?

MARVIN

We'd still have to convince Cat, Sonic, or Rita to vote out Timon over Dodger...to save themselves - but in Cat's case, that wouldn't be hard. He hates Timon now-

CADPIG

_(A little reluctant)_

Yeah, no. ...What you're saying makes sense.

_(Awkward silence)_

...Can I see your bunny again?

MARVIN

His name is Hopsalot. Don't hold him too close to your ears...

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional. HOPSALOT is curled up on his shoulder again)_

MARVIN

Initially, I thought Cadpig was just..._annoying.._.but without Courage around for Cadpig to treat like a _pet,_ she's much more pleasant company. Of course...after this round, Cadpig could very well may become the next target because of her Idol...but that's the game. I'm going to resign myself to my bunny and possibly my first night without a headache...

* * *

_(Cut to behind the BOULDER where MARVIN and CADPIG are sitting. Their voices are heard off-screen. RITA steps out of the shadows behind the ROCK, eavesdropping on their conversation. She glances behind the BOULDER. _

_She watches as MARVIN laughs at something that CADPIG said. He passes her the BUNNY, which she takes with enthusiasm. RITA glares at them. Then she backs away)_

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

I've gotten angry before. I've seen the consequences. I'm not going to go over and pluck out Cadpig's eyeballs or anything. If Marvin and Cadpig want to do the dynamic duo thing...fine. He shot first. I'll return fire...

* * *

_(Cut to somewhere in the DESERT. SONIC is tugging at a spindly TREE, trying to tear off its branches for FIREWOOD. RITA appears beside him. She grabs the tree, steadying it and stopping him)_

RITA

Hey Speedy Gonzales, you want to chat?

SONIC

_(Letting go of the TREE, dusting his hands)_

I mean, I was going to talk to you anyway. What's up, what's shaking, what's going down?

RITA

_(Smiling at him)_

You're sort of a frog around here, aren't you? You hop around. Person to person. Lily pad to lily pad. Not a care in the world, huh?

SONIC

I _care._

RITA

You seem a _little_ touchy about that, Sonic-

SONIC

Well, I'm _not._ I'm playing the game-

RITA

Okay, fine - not going to argue-

SONIC

I mean, excuse me for not constantly lying and digging my grave-

RITA

_(Slowly)_

But what have you _done_ in the game though?

SONIC

A lot!

_RITA_

You need to make a move, Sonic. I need to make a move. So...before anyone tells us otherwise...let's make a pact. Right here. Right now. Tonight...let's blindside Marvin...

* * *

_(Cut to the SHELTER. CAT is curled up in the CORNER, staring down at something in his hand. The envelope from DOG has been cut open and lies in pieces beside him. CAT's eyes are teary. WAKKO appears and crawls into the SHELTER. CAT struggles to hide what he's staring at, but he isn't fast enough)_

_WAKKO_

Cat, do you want to talk?

CAT

_No..._

WAKKO

Are you sure? I heard about what was going on at the auction... with Timon…Did you get to read your letter from your brother?

CAT

_No._ It's not a letter, Wakko. It's _this._ This is what Dog sent me...

_(CAT hands a scrap of paper to WAKKO. It isn't a letter. Rather, DOG has given him an old POLAROID PICTURE. The picture depicts CAT and DOG as infants, still conjoined and sleeping in the corner of a dog house. DOG, for some reason, has taken a Sharpie marker and drawn a BLACK LINE across their midsection, marking their separation. Beside this marking, DOG has sketched a QUESTION MARK)_

CAT

_See?_

WAKKO

_(After a moment)_

Oh man...

_(Cut to CAT in a confessional. He is struggling not to cry)_

CAT

I never ask for help...from anyone. I've just never gotten any so...after awhile, I stopped. But...I don't know what to do now. If this picture means what I think it means... Dog might not want to be attached to me again - or even _around_ me. And I know I'm alone here. I know. And I know there's only eight of us left, and we're so close to the end, but...I don't know how much longer I can keep this up...

* * *

_(Cut to CAT and WAKKO walking together in the DESERT. CAT seems to have calmed down considerably. WAKKO seems conflicted, not knowing what to say)_

WAKKO

You know, Dog and I were pretty close...in the beginning of the game.

CAT

_(Smiling weakly)_

I mean... looking at _you,_ that doesn't surprise me...

WAKKO

_(After a moment)_

...So what're you thinking right now?

CAT

_(Talking more to himself)_

I'm thinking...I don't know. I mean, if I pull out _now,_ that's it. That's everything I wanted coming to a close - and if I _stay_ \- I mean, Dog's never really been known to keep to his word...so I don't know really what to think. _Crap, crap..._

WAKKO

Well, if you think Dog's serious about this - about, y'know, not wanting to _be_ with you again, then what's really worth it? A million dollars or your brother...?

CAT

_(Annoyed)_

Well, they're _both_ worth a lot to me...

WAKKO

Okay, Cat. Sorry I asked...

_(Cut to CAT in a confessional)_

CAT

I was just under a lot of pressure...after I got the picture that Dog sent me. I broke down a bit - and I don't know, maybe Wakko genuinely _wanted_ to help me. Maybe he didn't. But at the end of the conversation, I just figured...Dog's easy to convince otherwise. Y'know, he'll get over this...so I decided to stay in the game. And if Wakko was actually trying to egg me on into_ quitting,_ well...more power to me for seeing through it...

_(Cut back to the scene. CAT scowls at WAKKO, who doesn't notice. He takes a breath and glares out at the desert)_

_CAT_

All right. I'm sticking it out. I'm staying in the game...

WAKKO

_(A little annoyed)_

Well, that's good. Glad we could talk about this...

_(He forces a smile. Then he swings his arm around CAT, forcing him toward him)_

Here, you want to head off to the pond? We could cool off a little.

CAT

I'd like that, Wakko. I'd like that _verrrrrrry _much...

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional) _

WAKKO

I've never trusted trust Cat. I mean, the way Cat plays is sort of like a mouse hiding from a bunch of lions. He'll just keep voting for the big targets until he has someone he can actually _beat._ I mean, my conscience took over though. There was a little angel Wakko on my shoulder and it kept telling me, "You have to talk to Cat; you can't leave Cat here crying about his brother..."

_(He sighs)_

But if Cat's not going to quit now, that's that. I'll just have to cut his throat before he cuts mine...

* * *

_(Cut to the BOULDER out in the DESERT. CADPIG and MARVIN are now sitting with DODGER)_

DODGER

You want me to stay with you so you're not the biggest targets - right?

MARVIN

And if you don't win immunity, you're going to be gone very, _very_ soon...

DODGER

_(Frowning)_

So...while ya'll are surrounding yourself with this barb-wire cage of bodyguards and Idols-

MARVIN

I never said_ "bodyguard"-_

DODGER

_(Glaring at MARVIN)_

Calm down. Now, if we vote out Timon - Timon of all people - what's next?

MARVIN

Wakko or Sonic.

DODGER

I don't believe you...

MARVIN

Well, what's your alternative? I can't paint a mosaic for the rest of this game, Dodger.

DODGER

So you're saying after this round - "flip?"

MARVIN

You could be voted out _this_ round. I'm offering to spare you-

DODGER

What makes more sense? Splitting the votes to get rid of your Idol or backing myself into a corner by aligning with you guys?

MARVIN

If you sent one of us home, _you'd_ be the next to go.

DODGER

_(Glancing over at CADPIG)_

You've been quiet over there, Cadpig...

CADPIG

I have my Idol and my own game... and I'm just looking forward...

_(DODGER glances at CADPIG, raising his eyebrows. CADPIG glances from side to side, nervous, making sure MARVIN isn't watching. She winks at DODGER. DODGER is assured. He smiles and winks back)_

_DODGER_

It's a lot to chew on...but I'll think about it-

CADPIG

_(To MARVIN)_

So...we would still need two more votes though, right? You said maybe Wakko or Cat?

_(WAKKO appears from behind the BOULDER. He has a bright smile on his face. He holds what looks like a bundle of CHERRIES in his hand)_

_WAKKO_

FRIENDS! I come bearing GIFTS!

CADPIG

Wakko?

WAKKO

I was in the neighborhood. If I'm not welcome here, that's perfectly fine - but in that case, I guess you guys won't be interested in these delicious _cherries!_

DODGER

Say what, kid?

WAKKO

_(Passing out the CHERRIES)_

Cherries. A succulent taste of heaven in every nibble. I kept them from the ice cream I won at the auction.

CADPIG

Um, less taking, more giving. _Yes!_ Thank you, Wakko! Oh my gosh, thank you!

DODGER

Y'know, my conscience tells me no...but I've got a sweet tooth. Fork em over...

MARVIN

_(Plucking the stem off his CHERRY) _

I have to say, your Earth food has impressed me since I came here.

WAKKO

Well, what do you eat on Mars?

MARVIN

We compact rocks into protein and eat protists.

WAKKO

Ah. Well, that explains it...

_(He raises his CHERRY in the air)_

Well, CHEERS!

DODGER, MARVIN, &amp; CADPIG

CHEERS!

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional)_

WAKKO

I have a feeling Cat's going to try to rally people against me tonight...so for now, I'm just increasing my options.

* * *

_(Cut to the challenge later that afternoon. We see a HILL absolutely covered in slippery, wet MUD. At the top of a HILL, EIGHT WICKER BALLS are set up. There are harnesses inside, suggesting that people can be strapped inside. At the top of the HILL is a row of LOCKED SAFES. At the bottom is a row of COLORED MAILBOXES. The HOST stands on his usual MAT, waiting for the TRIBE to arrive)_

_HOST_

Come on in, guys!

_(The TRIBE strolls in through the GRASS. There are only eight people left, and their image together resonates more. The game is nearing its end. Everyone takes their spot on their MAT, waiting for instructions from their HOST)_

_HOST_

You guys ready to get to today's immunity challenge?

_(EVERYONE cheers)_

All right, first thing's first. Wakko, time to take back your immunity...

WAKKO

(_Taking off his necklace)_

Parting is such sweet sorrow...like a finished bowl of lasagna...

_(WAKKO hands the NECKLACE back to the HOST and crosses back to the MAT. The HOST holds up the IMMUNITY NECKLACE, displaying it for everyone to see)_

_HOST_

Once again, immunity is back up for grabs. Here' s how it's going to work. You're going to be strapped into one of these wicker balls. You will then roll down the hill. It will be dizzying. Disorienting. You may not be able to walk. Once you're at the bottom, you will release yourself and open your mailbox, taking out a note with three numbers on it. You will then scale the hill and enter those numbers into one of these safes. Sounds easy...but this hill has been absolutely covered in slippery, wet mud. It's not going to be easy. First person to reach their safe and unlock it wins immunity. Safe at Tribal Council, guaranteed a spot in the Final Seven and a step closer to a million dollars. Worth playing for? Let's get started...

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. All eight contestants are strapped into their wicker balls. The HOST blows his whistle. At once, they all heave their weight and take off, rolling down the muddy hill. They bonk into each other like pinballs, colliding, tumbling upside-down. It's madness. Some, like CADPIG and WAKKO, are having the time of their lives. OTHERS, like CAT, can only close their eyes and try to hold down their lunch. _

_The BALLS reach the bottom of the HILL, nestling together in a grove. MARVIN doesn't waste any time. He in clips himself quickly and pulls himself out of his BALL, heading for his MAILBOX)_

HOST

Marvin, seemingly not even affected by the dizziness! What's going on?

MARVIN

_(Sprinting to the MAILBOX)_

Training academy on Mars. They made us face G-force acceleration in our test pods.

HOST

I'm going to pretend I understood that. Now here comes Dodger and Wakko. They're both in this...

_(DODGER and WAKKO are hurrying over to their MAILBOXES, shaking off the effects of their ride. DODGER grabs his MAILBOX, taking a moment to steady himself. WAKKO doesn't waste a second. He tears into his MAILBOX, grabbing the first clue. Then he takes off after MARVIN, heading for the difficult trek up the hill) _

HOST

Right out of the gate, it's Marvin in the league, followed closely by Wakko. Dodger is not looking well. Shake it off, man, Work now. Puke later!

DODGER

_(Groaning)_

Man, I feel like I ate some bad Chinese or something...

HOST

Here comes Sonic, Rita, and Cadpig, struggling to break out of their balls. They're now in this. However, the hill is going to be your biggest obstacle. This is still anyone's game.

_(CADPIG, SONIC, and RITA take their respective clues in their MAILBOXES. They dash over to the HILL, struggling to claw through the MUD. The process is arduous. MARVIN is in front still but he seems to be caught in a landslide. WAKKO is trapped in his wake, sliding down the HILL behind him. RITA tries to edge her way in front of CADPIG and SONIC, army crawling her way through the MUD. CADPIG and SONIC don't take kindly to it. They wrestle her to the ground, dig piling on top of her. In the process, they all go sliding down the HILL)_

HOST

Lots of confrontation going on here! Rita plays aggressively, trying to nudge her way to the front. Others aren't having it-

RITA

Cadpig, get off! You're pulling us to the bottom of the hill-

CADPIG

Yeah, if I go down Rita, you're coming with me. Bear hug!

RITA

Get off!

CADPIG

Super-duper bear hug! Mud buddies!

_(RITA goes sliding to the bottom of the HILL with CADPIG latched around her. She screams in rage, struggling to shove her off. SONIC looks back questionably as they slide away)_

SONIC

Ugh, girls dude...

_(Cut to DODGER at the bottom of the HILL. He still looks nauseated and can barely stand up. He glances up wearily as CADPIG and RITA slide into frame. CADPIG holds RITA down into the MUD, refusing to let her move)_

RITA

Come on, look at yourself. This is the most, like, juvenile thing! _Get off!_

CADPIG

_(Turning to DODGER)_

Hello Dodger. Have you met my friend Rita? She makes for a great sled.

RITA

What do you want me to _do?_

CADPIG

Play nice.

RITA

Okay. Fine. Fine. Get off...

_(CADPIG let's go of RITA. CADPIG digs into the MUD, crawling her way back up the HILL. RITA glances up at her, her face completely covered in grime and dirt. She turns to DODGER with rage in her eyes)_

RITA

What's wrong, Dodgey? Too many carnival rides? Get your head on straight...

_ (RITA starts crawling after CADPIG. DODGER groans, struggling to shake off the effects of the ball ride. He starts crawling after the OTHERS)_

HOST

Everyone is now on the hill - everyone, that is, except Timon and Cat, both known for getting utterly decimated in challenges. Are they going to change? Or is this just going to be more for their record?

_(Cut to the bottom of the HILL. TIMON seems to have really gotten rocked by the ball ride. He is caught in his restraints inside the ball, struggling to break free. CAT, meanwhile, is leaning up against his MAILBOX. He seems on the verge of passing out. TIMON pulls himself out of his BALL. He jogs over to his MAILBOX. As he opens the flap, he smirks at CAT)_

TIMON

Its a tough game, kitty cat. C'mon, screw your head back on! You gotta pick it up! Hello victory, your name is Timon-

CAT

_(Muttering to himself)_

No Dog, don't chase the armadillo...

TIMON

What?

CAT

That's an armadillo, Dog. Don't chase it-

TIMON

Whoa Cat, Cat, you hallucinating, man? What's going on?

CAT

_(Still mumbling)_

Those were the rules. You broke the rules, so I had no choice. I _had_ to. I'll win the million. I'll win the-

_ (TIMON whacks CAT on the side of the head. CAT looks up, blinking, disoriented. We see his eyes are bloodshot. His face is drenched in sweat. While he's seemed sick for days, he looks absolutely awful now)_

TIMON

Whoa Cat, you're sick. Really sick. Wait, hold up, I'm going to call a medic-

CAT

_(Wincing)_

What? Where am I?

TIMON

Yo! Host! Can we get a look at Cat over here? Hello?

_(CAT glares at Timon. Clarity returns to him. He looks over at the HILL, watching as the OTHERS trek through the MUD. CAT takes a deep breath. He steadies himself against the MAILBOX, struggling for focus)_

CAT

_(Talking to himself)_

No. You're so close. Not now...

_ (CAT swings open his MAILBOX and grabs the note inside. He ambles over to the HILL, collapsing into the MUD. TIMON is horrified. He runs over to him but it's too late. CAT begins to scale the HILL. He buries his claws deep in the Earth. With pure adrenaline, he begins to work his way to the TOP)_

HOST

Cat has reached the hill! He's making progress! This could be a huge shocker!

TIMON

He's going to pass out, you idiot! Stop him!

_(The OTHERS turn on the HILL, confused, wondering what TIMON is screaming about. Then they notice CAT, already halfway up the HILL. They panic and begin to move faster)_

MARVIN

No. No. Cat is not going to win this-

SONIC

Then stop flicking mud in my face and move, bro! Stop him!

_ (Cut to CAT dragging his way up the HILL. He army crawls over the ridge, making his way to the top. He stands up soaked in mud, eclipsed by the SUN behind him. He is dazed and disoriented, heading for the row of SAFES) _

HOST

Cat has reached the top! This could be it!

TIMON

Hey numbskulls, listen! He's sick!

_ (CAT rests his head against the SAFE. Fumbling with the note card, he enters the combination. The SAfE makes a whining sound. Then, pushed by a breeze, it swings open. CAT leans against the SAFE, motionless, unaware of what's even happened. Everyone is too caught up in the challenge to have noticed)_

HOST

Cat has unlocked his safe! That's it! Cat wins immunity!

_(The HOST approaches CAT, smiling and holding the IMMUNITY NECKLACE. CAT looks up and sees the NECKLACE. He smiles vacantly. Then his eyes roll back into his head. Without warning, Cat faints and falls to the ground)_

WAKKO

Oh my God!

TIMON

Cat!

HOST

Medic! Someone bring in a medic!

* * *

_ (Cut to several minutes later. Everyone is at the top of the HILL gathered around CAT. A MEDIC from the PRODUCTION CREW is examining him. CADPIG seems on the verge of tears. DODGER holds her, consoling her. She's allowing it. MARVIN and RITA seem unfazed but do seem rather uncomfortable. WAKKO and SONIC are both kneeling down beside CAT, trying to rouse him with the MEDIC. TIMON stands on the side, terrified, pacing back and forth) _

TIMON

He ain't dead; he ain't dead. C'mon man, please don't tell me he's dead..

SONIC

For the last time Timon, he's breathing fine.

RITA

How do _you_ know?

SONIC

...Well, is he?

HOST

Medic, fill us in. What's going on?

MEDIC

_(Feeling CAT's pulse)_

Well, there are a few possibilities here. It appears that after being physically separated from Dog, Cat may have contracted some sort of blood infection. But at the same time, he could just be severely dehydrated. We can't diagnose anything here...so we're going to have to take him back to the clinic to get him checked out.

HOST

Can you comment on Cat's status in the game?

MEDIC

Right now, he needs a thorough examination. You'll know before Council whether or not he'll be returning...

HOST

All right guys, so this is what's going to happen. Right now, Cat _has_ immunity. If he returns to the game, he keeps it for Council. If he has to be sent to a hospital and pulled from the game, then we still have Council...and nobody has immunity for today's challenge. Wish Cat the best. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp...


	24. If You Can't Take The Heat, Part III

_(Cut to TIMON in a confessional)_

TIMON

I kind of expected these people to...at least spare some _concern_ for Cat's health - but I mean, they felt bad for like ten seconds, then they were right back to trying to vote each other out!

_(Cut to the TRIBE all sitting together in the SHELTER. Nobody is speaking, still disturbed clearly by CAT's possible evacuation)_

SONIC

Y'know…they say cats have nine lives...

CADPIG

_(Glaring at him)_

I'm sorry - was that a joke?

SONIC

Hey, hey, hey - by the look of it, Cat's going to be okay.

MARVIN

The game's finally _hurt_ somebody - I just figured you'd be _against_ it at this point-

SONIC

Hey, we _shouldn't _quit, man! I mean, it sucks what happened to Cat, yeah…but ya'll are bugging me out here. I mean, are we still playing "Survivor?"

DODGER

(Smiling a little)

I mean, we're kind of shell shocked, Sonic-

SONIC

Well, yeah...I feel you...

_(He turns to CADPIG)_

...Cadpig?

CADPIG

_Yes?_

SONIC

You're still in this?

CADPIG

Yeah. I mean, it would've been nice if they, like..._halted_ the game - but whatever. What do you think, Wakko?

_(She glances over WAKKO's shoulder, watching as he sketches on the PAPER)_

Um - are you drawing something?

WAKKO

What? _Nothing._ Sorry guys…

_(The camera zooms in briefly on WAKKO's paper. We see he was drawing a sketch of YAKKO, calming his nerves. WAKKKO crumbles it before anyone can see. CADPIG glances at him skeptically, a little confused)_

_WAKKO_

_(To the OTHERS)_

Sorry, I'm just blanking out. I mean - we're all under contract here - so if you we all decided, "Hey, we're all quitting," - I mean, I don't want to get _sued.._.

DODGER

_(Chuckling)_

...Yeah, I don't know. I think I've got enough warrants under my belt. I don't think a lawyer would care much for me.

_(The OTHERS laugh, a little uncertain of what he's talking about)_

Isn't that right, Cadpig?

CADPIG

Excuse me?

DODGER

A lawyer wouldn't take _kindly_ to me, right?

CADPIG

Is this your way of announcing your secret, Dodger?

DODGER

Do you want to do the honors?

CADPIG

_(Glaring in the other direction)_

Do it yourself.

DODGER

All right. I'm _Dodger._ I'm from New York City...and I'm proud to be a_ stray..._

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

Yeah, so smug Dodger decided to reveal he's homeless to everyone - like, sort of his way of getting back at me for trying to use it as leverage in the game - but whatever. I'm so done with Dodger. If he thinks I'm this, like, erratic fruit loop that can't play the game, great. He's rice crispies. Ima pour the milk...

_(Cut back to the scene)_

MARVIN

_(Interested)_

I didn't know _that,_ Dodger-

DODGER

I don't, like, reek of luxury or anything-

RITA

_(Leaning closer to DODGER)_

I'm homeless too, man!

MARVIN

_(Winking at DODGER)_

Rita's_ very_ proud of her heritage-

SONIC

_(Trying to join in)_

Wow guys, three of a kind! I'm homeless too!

MARVIN

(Annoyed)

Oh God...

SONIC

I don't have a house either -

RITA

_(Cutting off SONIC)_

Yes, we _know._ You never shut up, Sonic.

CADPIG

So Dodger - is now your time of the day to brag about all the cool things you've done?

DODGER

_(Forcing a smile at her)_

Well, I did have to eat a pigeon once on the sidewalk. Not my brightest hour-

RITA

Actually, y'know what - open forum - what's the nastiest thing you guys have eaten?

WAKKO

Bad food? Psssh. Blasphemy.

MARVIN

Let's see...I ate a slug once…when I was stranded on an asteroid...

CADPIG

I got my food bowl mixed up with a pig's…

SONIC

Timon, you're quiet over there!

TIMON

_Hmph._

SONIC

Come on! Chime in! What's the nastiest critter you've munched on? A big beetle? A millipede?

_(TIMON doesn't respond. He looks away from the OTHERS, glaring out at the CAMPFIRE)_

Timon...?

TIMON

Is this crap really necessary?

SONIC

Huh?

TIMON

(Turning to face him)

Cat just practically had a heart attack in front of us! Do we really have to cover it up with this, like, stupid, meaningless _small talk?_

DODGER

What's up with _you?_

TIMON

He just passed out, Dodger!

WAKKO

It wasn't a heart attack-

TIMON

Okay. Fine. Fine. You guys don't want to think about Cat– that's fine – but I mean...I can't hide in the shelter. This is freaking me out...

DODGER

Cat's going to be fine...

TIMON

What if he _isn't?_

SONIC

_(Swinging his arm around TIMON)_

He _fainted-_

TIMON

_(Shaking SONIC off)_

No, Sonic – just – _no._ …Y'know what? I've got to go cool off…

SONIC

Well, come back when you're ready!

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. RITA, DODGER, WAKKO, and CADPIG are gathered around the CAMPFIRE. SONIC has wandered off elsewhere, probably to go talk to TIMON. MARVIN is nowhere in sight. DODGER, WAKKO, and CADPIG are all sitting together on a LOG. RITA sits on the opposite log, distanced from them. They regard her skeptically)_

RITA

I know what you guys are thinking: "Rita, oh my God, she flips all the time; she's relating _evvvvverything_ back to Marvin"

WAKKO

Well, yeah...

DODGER

You are.

RITA

What makes you so positive?

DODGER

Can you give us reason to believe you actually _want_ him out?

RITA

Let me_ ask_ you guys something—

WAKKO

Shoot.

RITA

I have suspicions...that you're trying to blindside Marvin tonight by tricking him into _not_ playing his Idol...?

_(Awkward silence. CADPIG, WAKKO, and DODGER glance at one another, lost for how to respond. RITA smiles, enjoying every minute)_

RITA

Take your time…

_(Everyone starts babbling, talking at the same time)_

WAKKO

What? We love Marvin!

CADPIG

_(Cutting off WAKKO)_

Um, you can't expect us to just, like,_ tell_ you our plans, Rita-

WAKKO

_(Continuing)_

Marvin, yeah! Best thing since sliced bread! He's-

CADPIG

_(Cutting him off again)_

Why do you think you _deserve_ to know what we're doing?

DODGER

YO, GUYS! Chill. Chilllll. Let's hear the chick out. Rita._ Go..._

WAKKO

_(Cutting off DODGER)_

Cadpig's right. Even if we _were_ voting out Marvin-

CADPIG

Wakko!

WAKKO

_"Were!"_ I said _"were!" _I didn't say we were doing it! It wouldn't do us any good to tell the person that's practically been his, like, creepy siamese twin-

RITA

_(Coldly)_

I'm willing to get rid of Marvin...

WAKKO

Okay...

CADPIG

In other news, unicorns are walking on Mars...

RITA

If not tonight, when_ are_ you going to get rid of him?

_(CADPIG opens her mouth to argue. Very quickly, WAKKO gives her a nudge, shutting her up. CADPIG glares at RITA, but doesn't say anything)_

RITA

_Well?_

WAKKO

_W_e're going to have a long, lengthy discussion about this...and if we feel like we're ready, _Rita,_ we'll come back and talk…C'mon, Cadpig. Let's _go._

RITA

Try not to sit and think too long. You might get hemorrhoids.

_(WAKKO starts to lead CADPIG away. DODGER stays for a moment, looking at WAKKO apprehensively)_

WAKKO

You coming, Dodger?

DODGER

Yeah. Yeah, I am-

_(He takes a breath, shaking off his nerves. He smiles at WAKKO)_

Y'know, if unicorns were really walking on Mars, it explains a lot about Marvin.

WAKKO

You think he's part unicorn?

DODGER

No. But I mean, can you picture Marvin petting one?

WAKKO

I can picture him melting one...

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

_(Chuckling)_

Marvin's been wanting to use the Dodg_e _here as his bodyguard. He's got this idea that Cadpig, myself, and Wakko are in an alliance with him, and that we're pulling somebody else in to vote out Timon. That way..they'll still be bigger targets for Marvin to hide behind for a couple more rounds. I've got some eggs in my basket. Cadpig and Wakko aren't stupid. They're _fully_ willing to flip on Marvin if it means getting rid of his Idol this round . The problem though? How do we know Rita isn't going to tell Marvin to _play _it?

* * *

_(Cut to somewhere off in the DESERT. DODGER, CADPIG, and WAKKO are standing together in a huddle)_

CADPIG

Okay, so open discussion - is there any reason tonight to trust Rita?

DODGER

It's a lose-lose situation. She might be lying. She'll snitch to Marvin...but if we alienate her _again, s_he'll get angry that we're ignoring her and tell Marvin to play his Idol...

CADPIG

_(Rubbing her forehead)_

_Ugh._ She's like this cockroach...

DODGER

Between the two of you and a living cockroach, who do you think I'd rather take to the end?

CADPIG

_(Glaring at him)_

Well, at this point Dodger, there's a really freaking slim chance that you're getting to the end-

DODGER

Between Rita and _myself,_ who would you take to the end?

CADPIG

What?

DODGER

Who would you take?

CADPIG

_(After a moment)_

Rita...

DODGER

That proves my point-

CADPIG

_(Addressing WAKKO and DODGER)_

_Ugh._ But...let's create a positive zone, here okay? Thinking space...

DODGER

What?

CADPIG

I want everyone to, like, open their senses. Take everything in. Look at all of our possibilities. Pretend everything is like... one of those giant spinny ball things they use for lottery numbers, and all our options are spinning inside. Soak it all up...like a sponge...

_(CADPIG closes her eyes and crosses her legs. She takes deep breaths, apparently meditating. WAKKO seems amused. DODGER looks ungodly annoyed)_

DODGER

Hey - Cadpig-

CADPIG

_(Not opening her eyes)_

POSITVITY!

DODGER

We're not sponges; we're dogs.

CADPIG

Please leave a message after the_ beep. Beeeeeep..._

DODGER

Where I come from, we talk with our mouths. Can we do that, please?

CADPIG

I'm searching for _options_...

WAKKO

_(Grinning)_

We should feed her to Timon.

CADPIG

_What?_

WAKKO

Cause...she's a cockroach? Get it?

CADPIG

_(Not amused)_

Whatever, Wakko...

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

I'm really mixed up about Dodger. I mean, for one, I could easily sway almost everyone to vote him out - but I'm genuinely afraid that if Dodger goes, they'll all come after Wakko next, because of Marvin still having his Idol to scare everyone. Wakko's really my only ally except Marvin. Right now, Dodger has _no_ allies. Everybody wants to vote him out - so I don't know if I'm empathetic, or pathetic whatever. I mean - it's just hard to focus on the vote tonight without wondering what going on in Dodger's head. I _have_ to keep him close...but it's really hard to trust him...

_(Cut back to the scene. __An awkward silence. There's a strange tension between them now. CADPIG and DODGER seem lost in their own heads, thinking about the vote. WAKKO glances from side to side, a little concerned. He clears his throat and smiles)_

WAKKO

_(Gently)_

Hey. _Hey._ Worst comes to worst, we could hold Marvin's rabbit hostage!

CADPIG

What?

WAKKO

_(Grinning)_

Yeah, we'll kidnap it. You know? Like an action movie. We hold the bunny hostage and-

DODGER

Grow up!

CADPIG

_(Sadly)_

There's a time for jokes. Okay? It's just...not now.

WAKKO

_(A little hurt)_

Well...sorry.

CADPIG

Any _real ideas?_

WAKKO

._.Well,_ if nobody wants to get rid of Rita - let's just stay on top of her, I guess. Y'know? We just have to make sure we have her vote for Marvin...

_(He glances at CADPIG. She still seems uneasy, thinking of what to do)_

_WAKKO_

I feel like you guys are really over-complicating this.

CADPIG

No, no...that's true; you're right-

DODGER

But there's a difference between being laidback, and being like - the dude that's going to get _smacked_ in the face, y'know? You kind of _have_ to expect the worse-

WAKKO

I _know_ \- but all we have to do is stay on top of Rita. We just bring in somebody else -and you're making this out to be, like, rocket science or something.

_(Pause)_

And I mean, Cadpig _did_ had a point-

DODGER

What?

WAKKO

_We_ need you; y_ou_ need us - so if you're thinking of any other options, really, calm down. We're not out to, like, annihilate you or anything. We're all in the same boat...

_(A brief silence. DODGER seems put off by WAKKO's kindness. He stares at him for a moment, not knowing what to say)_

_DODGER_

I mean...while that's pretty damn thoughtful and all-

CADPIG

_(Cutting him off)_

_Okay_. So - can I go back to my idea exercise now?

_DODGER_

Cadpig, you cut me off-

_CADPIG_

_Fine_.

_DODGER_

I want a _plan. _I mean - I'm not going to stand on my head like a monk and swallow water or do handstands in order to-

CADPIG

Dodger, my exercises aren't _that_ ridiculous.

DODGER

Can we please have a PLAN?

CADPIG

I'm working on it. Let me find my mojo...

_(She closes her eyes again, going back into her trance. The OTHERS watch apprehensively. After a moment, CADPIG opens one eye, frowning)_

Dodger?

DODGER

_Yes?_

CADPIG

Um, I was going to tell you - the water upside down thing; that's a cure for hiccups-

DODGER

_(Struggling to stay calm)_

_Keep thinking, Cadpig._

CADPIG

_(After a moment)_

...I mean - do you have any ideas Wakko?

WAKKO

Hound down on Rita's vote? Get Cat, Sonic, or Timon to vote with us? Vote out Marvin?

CADPIG

_(Quietly)_

...If that's best route...so be it...

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

I _reallllllly_ don't like being in debt to two kids who are like...half my age basically. Even worse, I'm realizing now that Cadpig's kind of unstable...but...at this point, if I have to buckle down, and just let these guys carry me forward, so be it. I wouldn't be down for taking Cadpig into the finals I mean, I don't think she can win...which sucks for her...but I just can't think about that. As for _Wakko?_ Well...it might not happen just yet...but I really don't like how close he's getting to my...psycho surrogate little sister.

_(He pauses for a moment, searching for words)_

Ugh...if I ever call Cadpig a sister again, please, tie my legs together and throw me into the Hudson...

* * *

_(Cut to a few minutes later. WAKKO has gone off somewhere. CADPIG stands alone, impatient, apparently waiting for WAKKO to come back. DODGER sits on a ROCK beside her. They seem to be a little more comfortable with one another)_

DODGER

Are you like the substitute Dot now?

CADPIG

_(Laughing a little)_

I mean...I don't know if I can embody, like, the sheer epicness that was Dot Warner. I'll try my best. Okay, here it goes...

_(She starts to impersonate DOT)_

_"Okay, this is my ranking of the top cutest guys here - except my brothers, because that would be weird. Okay. Sonic, Dodger...let's see, Daggett was cute in a weird, dorky way...and I ever see Norbert again, I'll shove a broom down his throat. Thank you! Good night!"_

DODGER

What was this, like, weird animosity between Norbert and Dot?

CADPIG

Norbert seemed like a tool...

DODGER

Yeah. I mean...there's a lot of shady people out here...

_(Awkward silence. CADPIG seems put off by this comment. She smiles weakly and looks away, trying not to pay attention to DODGER. DODGER seems uncomfortable. He searches for words)_

DODGER

You've been pretty close to Wakko recently, huh?

CADPIG

I lost my friend; he lost his sister. It's sort of this, like, unwritten bond...

DODGER

No, Wakko's cool. I mean, he eats enough to feed a village; you talk enough to...to...

CADPIG

Talk enough to what?

DODGER

Ehhh, I lost the metaphor...

CADPIG

I mean, it comes when you have a bunch of brothers and have to defend yourself...

DODGER

Yeah, well...I was part of a litter too...

CADPIG

What happened to them?

_(No response. DODGER doesn't say anything. CADPIG quickly makes the realization)_

Oh crap Dodger, I'm so sorry- I didn't mean to go there-

DODGER

It's fine; it's fine - really-

CADPIG

_(Quickly)_

I'm sorry I brought that up. I didn't want to bring it up, but-

DODGER

We were left in a garbage bag in the Bronx.

_(Pause)_

CADPIG

Sorry...

DODGER

Can we, like..._not_ talk about it?

CADPIG

That's fine; that's fine.

_(She pauses for a moment. DODGER seems to be searching for words as well)_

I mean, I can't say what's going to happen next, y'know, I can't make any, like, long-term investments - but - between you, me, and Wakko - I'm happy with that for now...

DODGER

Do you really like Wakko?

CADPIG

We're friends.

DODGER

_Cute._

CADPIG

Do you?

_(No response)_

DODGER

I have...reservations...

CADPIG

Okay...?

DODGER

I mean...after seeing him and Dot play, y'know, seeing how shady they were together - it just sketches me out that he's trying to get so close to you...

CADPIG

_(After a moment)_

I feel like _you_ haven't really gotten to know him-

DODGER

Do you think it's worthy to just, like, be wary?

CADPIG

Wakko's never gone out of his way to, like, flip on me, or lie to me-

DODGER

_(Raising his fingers)_

He flipped on you to vote out Courage-

CADPIG

_You_ flipped on me to vote out Courage-

DODGER

He flipped on you to try to vote me out-

CADPIG

I flipped _back_ to save you that round. And Wakko was right. We _don't_ have any interest in getting rid of you right now anyway-

DODGER

_(Glaring at her)_

Well, then I'd appreciate it if weren't _already_ acting like I was going to flip...

CADPIG

Well, I don't understand this, like, random resentment you have towards Wakko!

_(Sound of footsteps from nearby. WAKKO emerges from behind a ROCK, waving to CADPIG. He starts to jog over. DODGER pulls CADPIG aside, managing a quick chat before WAKKO reaches them)_

DODGER

I'd _want_ to work with you.

CADPIG

I'll...I'll mull it over, all right? That's all I can say...

DODGER

I'm still down to vote out Marvin with his Idol tonight. I'll leave you kids alone...

_(DODGER jogs away, heading back toward CAMP. As he does, WAKKO emerges from behind the ROCK. He waves to CADPIG, crossing back over to her)_

WAKKO

_Heyyyy._ What's going on? Any news on Cat?

CADPIG

_(Quietly)_

...No, everyone's back at camp...waiting. We should head back.

_(They start to walk off together. CADPIG seems deep in thought, searching for words. WAKKO seems to sense something is wrong, but he minds his own business. Finally, CADPIG breaks the silence)_

_CADPIG_

Wakko...

_WAKKO_

Yes...?

_CADPIG_

_(Quietly)_

You're cool.

WAKKO

Huh?

CADPIG

Just thought you should know...

WAKKO

SAMESIES! You up for some more karaoke?

CADPIG

I would...but it's really hot, and I'm stressed out about Cat-

WAKKO

Pleaaase? In memory of my sister?

CADPIG

Pick a song...

WAKKO

_(Starting to sing)_

_"I've been with you such a long time...and I want you to know that my feelings are true..."_

CADPIG

(Joining in)

_"I really looooooove you."_

WAKKO &amp; CADPIG

_"You're my besssssssssst friend..."_

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional)_

WAKKO

It's a little disconcerting being friends with Cadpig. I mean, the last person that happened to was _Courage - _and look at that. Cadpig is just this...really loud magnet that attracts drama.

_(Pause)_

...But tonight though, it should be a clean vote. Marvin's going home tonight with his Idol. Cadpig, Wakko, Dodger, and I have him convinced we're voting out Timon - when _really,_ we're going to pull in two people, flip, and vote him out...Then, I'll just take it round by round. I don't want to turn on Cadpig but...if it came down to it, I mean, since Yakko and Dot would _never_ let me hear the end of it if a _girl_ beat me...

_(He pauses again)_

I'm _not_ opposed to it...

* * *

_(Cut to the POND. TIMON is sitting in the shallow end with SONIC. SONIC seems to be trying to guide TIMON into some kind of meditation exercise)_

SONIC

I'm going to count to three. You're no longer a meerkat. In fact...you're a butterfly...

TIMON

_(Forcing a smile)_

I'm a meerkat, Sonic.

SONIC

_Deeeeeep breath..._

TIMON

I refuse.

SONIC

_Butterfly-_

TIMON

Butterflies don't breathe...

SONIC

Everything breathes-

TIMON

They don't take, like, _deep_ breaths though!

SONIC

You could pretend you're a whale.

TIMON

_What?_

SONIC

Timon, come on, pleaaaaase - meditate?

TIMON

_(Forcing a laugh)_

I don't need this baloney! I'm fine. I'm ready, I'm good to go now..

SONIC

_(Pushing TIMON off)_

_Okay..._but you've been known to freak out. So tell me, please - are you _done_ stressing out about Cat?

TIMON

Yes.

SONIC

And, y'know, the_ letter_ too - right?

TIMON

Pssssh. Old news.._.old news! _Get real with me here...

_(Cut to TIMON in a confessional. He is smiling but looks very uneasy)_

_TIMON_

I have nothing to lose. I mean, I'm going to call my Mom up after this game, I'm going to patch things up, get back on track with her. So..if it looks like I'm freaking out, I mean, that's funny, because I've literally got nothing to be scared about. ...Maybe _you're_ the one freaking out, man...

_(Cut back to the scene. SONIC claps TIMON on the back, relieved, excited. RITA appears behind them, looking disgruntled. She crosses into the POND and sits down in the WATER behind them)_

SONIC

Where've you been?

RITA

Busy.

SONIC

We were meditating, girl!

RITA

Okay, so I talked to Dodger - and the others-

SONIC

All right—

RITA

I_ tried_…

TIMON

_(Sharply)_

What'd you guys talk about?

RITA

...They're _alienating _us. ...So...as much as I'd like to vote out _Marvin-_

SONIC

_(Raising a hand)_

Wait, wait, wait - go back-

RITA

_Yes?_

SONIC

They talk to me all the time.

RITA

Well, _great._ Congrats, Mister Popular.

SONIC

They probably just don't know you well-

RITA

That's not the _point, _Sonic-

TIMON

_(To RITA)_

Why were _you_ talking about with them?

RITA

If you hadn't been panicking, you would've _known._

TIMON

What's going _on?_

RITA

I'll explain. So, for some reason..they're refusing to talk to us-

SONIC

_(Raising his eyebrows)_

_Rita-_

RITA

_(Very disgruntled)_

Or well, to _me_. Fine. Maybe it's just me...

SONIC

(Winking at TIMON)

_Biiiiiiiiig_ difference…

RITA

I said we were willing to barter with them - y'know, to band together tonight, knock out _Marvin _with his Idol - but if they're not going to get on board with us, let's just...let's _tell_ Marvin to play his Idol. Knock out Dodger. Screw them...

SONIC

I don't get it...

RITA

What?

SONIC

Why does it only have to be_ you__?_

_(Pause)_

RITA

What do you _mean?_

SONIC

_We_ could talk to them.

RITA

_(After a moment)_

I don't understand, Sonic-

SONIC

Yeah. Either one of us. If they're repelled by _you…_I mean, why don't_ I_ talk to them about voting out Marvin?

RITA

What!? _Why you!?_

SONIC

Um, excuse me, why _you?_

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

_RITA_

Sonic, better known as the second coming of Jesus Christ, decided to actually step up and try to _do_ something for once - and as it turns out, when Sonic wants to do something, it's actually very hard to talk him out of it...

_(Cut back to the scene)_

RITA

I...I thought you wanted Dodger?!

SONIC

Well, I_ did._ But I don't see why we have to like, _discard _this option of voting Marvin just because they ignored _you._ You're not the only one in this alliance — there's Timon or me, possibly Cat – so really, any of us could still talk to them-

RITA

No!

SONIC

Why?

RITA

No, no, you_ can't - I'm sorry-_

SONIC

C'mon!

RITA

Look, look...remember the Courage round?

SONIC

No?

RITA

The _last _time you tried to play peacemaker, Sonic?

SONIC

What happened?

RITA

You exposed Courage and Cadpig's relationship, remember?

SONIC

Well yeah, I helped Courage confront her! Cadpig was tricking him!

RITA

He _hated_ you for that, Sonic!

SONIC

No!

RITA

He hated you! You just don't get it!

SONIC

Nobody hates me!

RITA

Yes, they do!

SONIC

_(Very flustered)_

Well, I mean...why...why'd you sign up for this show? Why are you even here? You bomb in challenges; you don't do anything around camp. You're, like-

RITA

I wanted to win, you arrogant twit!

_(SONIC opens his mouth again to argue. TIMON steps forward, covering SONIC's mouth. He muffles him and tries to restrain him, even though he is about a fourth his size. RITA glares at SONIC, trying to stay composed_

RITA

I don't_ need_ to help you guys, you know…

TIMON

_ (Stepping in for SONIC)_

Rita. Rita…you'll have to excuse my friend.

SONIC

_ (Struggling to speak through TIMON's hand)_

_Mpphh, mph, mphhh—_

TIMON

Now, I am thrilled with the idea of telling Marvin to play his Idol. That way, we knock out Dodger instead…_right?_

RITA

_(Not looking him in the eyes)_

No. I mean…I'm _fine_ with that...

TIMON

Good.

RITA

But first…let Sonic open his fat _mouth..._

_(TIMON glances at SONIC reluctantly. He sighs and takes his hand off his face. SONIC opens his mouth right away, ready to argue again)_

SONIC

I think you're a conceited, self-absorbed bully with a victim complex-

TIMON

SONIC!

_(TIMON shoves SONIC at his side, urging him to shut up)_

RITA

Hmmm. Anything _else?_

SONIC

I just want respect from you. That's all.

RITA

Who respects _you?_

SONIC

My friends….

RITA

Your "friends?"

SONIC

Back home.

RITA

You mean…the ones at home who fawn over you and treat you like their hero? That's not "friendship," Sonic.

SONIC

What is it?

RITA

_A cult._

SONIC

_(Furious)_

I'm just asking you to be nice!

RITA

I don't _know…._

_TIMON_

I mean, he is _right,_ Rita. It wouldn't hurt to not be such a bitc—

SONIC

_ (Cutting off TIMON)_

BITTER AND RESENTFUL PERSON!

TIMON

_ (Glaring at them)_

Something like that…

SONIC

(To RITA)

Well…?

_(Awkward silence)_

RITA

_ (Slowly)_

I mean...

SONIC

It's not that hard to not, like, attack people all the time-

RITA

I could _try…_

SONIC

Louder?

RITA

To be _nice…Okay?_ I'll be nice...

SONIC

THERE WE GO!

_(SONIC holds out a hand, eager, waiting for RITA to take. RITA eyes it. She flicks up her claws, revealing how sharp they are)_

_RITA_

Handshake?

SONIC

_(Frightened)_

I'll...I'll _pass..._

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional. She seems somber)_

RITA

...Yeah, people say I'm mean. If I'm not hating anyone, I don't really know what else to do with myself..

_(Cut to several minutes. RITA and SONIC are sitting around the CAMPFIRE together. They are boiling a pot of RICE. SONIC is laughing at something RITA said. He talks excitedly, lowering the POT closer to the FIRE. RITA smiles back at him - however, she seems uncomfortable)_

_(Cut back to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

If Dodger does go tonight, Marvin's _next_. Wakko and Cadpig have this sense that we're, like..._willing_ to flip on each other...but after the bigger threats, _those two _are next. Then - and hopefully Cat comes back - it's Sonic, me, Timon, and Cat in the Final Four...

_(Cut back to the scene. SONIC tries to scoop a spoon of RICE out of the POT. He burns his hand. He screams. He drops the POT to the ground, spilling the RICE everywhere. RITA laughs at him, rolling her eyes. She gets up and starts to help him clean up the mess. SONIC smiles at her. RITA struggles to return it)_

_(Cut back to RITA in a confessional. She seems very antsy)_

RITA

It's just...either way, if Marvin goes or he stays...it just makes me feel really anxious...

* * *

_(Cut to the edge of CAMP. TIMON watches RITA and SONIC from the side. He cringes as SONIC spills the POT of RICE. He looks even more irritated as he watches RITA pick up the GRAINS of RICE from the ground)_

_(Cut to TIMON in a confessional)_

TIMON

Sonic started hanging out with Rita. _Alone_. Like, one minute they're screaming like a couple of banshees. Next, they're eating finger food. I'm freaking out...

_(Cut to a few minutes later. RITA and SONIC have left the area. TIMON creeps in from the side, heading for the SHELTER. He climbs inside. He crawls into the corner, pulling MARVIN's bag toward him)_

_(Cut back to TIMON in a confessional)_

TIMON

Look, I was right when I told Sonic I wasn't thinking about my Mom. I'm not._ Really._ Like, not twenty-four seven at least - but - she's still_ there._ In my head. It's just...it's just different now. You don't know how meerkats live, man- hiding in tunnels, getting munched on by hyenas. It ain't pretty...and looking back at all of that now, knowing what I left behind, remembering everything, everyone...I feel _awful._ I feel awful for leaving my family.. because I wanted a better life... but for what? _What?_ To hide from my Mom forever? To end up on this...this stupid show and..and win a friggin' check to forgive myself? _Why?_

_(Cut back to the scene. TIMON reaches into MARVIN's bag. Inside, he finds MARVIN's pet BUNNY. It is nestled in MARVIN's dirty clothes, sleeping soundly. TIMON seizes the BUNNY. It wakes up and squeaks. TIMON dashes out of the SHELTER, holding the BUNNY in his hands)_

_(Cut back to TIMON in a confessional)_

_TIMON_

I don't trust Rita. I'm fully convinced she's still with Marvin...and that they're all scheming to vote out me or Sonic tonight. I've seen everyone talking - so yes, I know this seems crazy, but I can't waste any time. Here's my plan. I'm going to steal Marvin's bunny. I'm going to hide it in the desert. I'm going to pretend _Rita_ took it back - because she was jealous of Cadpig getting close to Marvin or whatever. I don't know, man. _Yes._ It sounds nuts. Maybe I'm losing it...but it's my only plan right now - and if it works, it could set off some serious sparks in the other alliance. I just want to plant a seed to turn them against each other...

_(Cut to TIMON standing out in the DESERT. He holds the BUNNY in his hands. For some reason, he has tied a long, blue ROPE around it. TIMON approaches a cluster of BOULDERS. He begins to scale his way to the top, holding the BUNNY close to his CHEST) _

_(Cut back to TIMON in a confessional)_

TIMON

I mean, I considered going back...since the whole idea was just so crazy...but I need that million dollars for my family. I don't care if they forgive me, or ignore me, or stone me to death whenever they see me again...but if I _win_ that million...I can at least say I tried _something..._

_(Cut to TIMON standing on top of a MASSIVE BOULDER. The BUNNY sits in front of him with nowhere to go. It glances down at the ground, terrified. TIMON kneels down and pets it, trying to calm it down)_

TIMON

It's all right, little buddy. I'm your...um, uncle. I'm your Uncle Timon...yeah...and I'll be back later with some carrots...

_(TIMON takes the BLUE ROPE tied to the RABBIT. He tosses it over the BOULDER, allowing it to drop to the GROUND. This ROPE allows him to remember where he left the RABBIT. TIMON pets the BUNNY one last time. Then he turns around. He begins the difficult process of trying to get back down. _

_Suddenly, a sound in the distance - the whirring blades of a HELICOPTER. TIMON winces and glances up at the SKY. We see a HELICOPTER passing over the CLEARING. It circles the AREA before lowering itself down. Wind blows dust everywhere. TIMON cringes, shielding his eyes.)_

TIMON

Ugh. Yeah...you picked a _great_ time to come back...

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. The HELICOPTER has landed. The OTHERS emerge into the CLEARING, ready to welcome CAT back to the game. Everyone is there - everyone, that is, except TIMON)_

CADPIG

I wish we had a cake guys! Y'know, like a welcome back cake for him?

RITA

One of those big cakes in Vegas - right? Like, where a stripper jumps out?

CADPIG

_(Laughing)_

OH MY GOSH! YES!

RITA

Then the stripper _does_ give Cat a heart attack...

CADPIG

_(Pointing to the men in the group)_

Wait, wait, one of the guys! Who wants to be the stripper?

SONIC

_(Throwing his arm around MARVIN)_

MARVIN!

MARVIN

Never bring that up again...

_(The HELICOPTER door opens. CAT steps out, waving his hand sheepishly. Everyone cheers, welcoming him back to the game. Some, like MARVIN, seem less than enthusiastic)_

SONIC

He's back! In the red corner, weighing in at one-hundred and ten pounds, my main man CAAAAAAAT!

CAT

_(A little nervous)_

Thanks for the welcome...

SONIC

SURVIVOR HUG!

_(SONIC grabs CAT and pulls him into a HUG. The OTHERS join. MARVIN is hesitant, struggling to stay on the outside)_

MARVIN

We haven't showered in almost a month-

WAKKO

Wait Marvin..how do you smell? You don't have a nose...

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

First and foremost, yes, I'm_ glad_ Cat's all right. However, he was going to be my fifth number to blindside Timon tonight - and at this point, with the looks I'm seeing around camp, I'm questioning if my _other_ three - Cadpig, Dodger, and Wakko - are even loyal now...

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. Everyone is lounging around the clearing. TIMON is still absent. Members of the PRODUCTION CREW are carrying empty CRATES from CAMP to the HELICOPTER. They are clipping the EMPTY CRATES to a long, green elastic CABLE, presumably to carry them away)_

CAT

_(Quietly)_

So...you guys were _worried_ about me?

CADPIG

_(Ruffling CAT's head)_

We're just glad you're okay!

CAT

_(Pulling away from CADPIG)_

Ahhh...well, yes, they said I had some kind of infection - some sort of side-effect from being separated from Dog. But they cleaned me up. They doped me up with medicine. They said I should be okay. I mean...I'll need to get it checked out...more thoroughly when I get home...but it shouldn't be a problem...

_(Everyone nods, relieved - but also a little discouraged. CAT notices. He frowns, wondering what he's missed. A member of the PRODUCTION CREW walks up behind SONIC)_

CREW MEMBER

Hey, excuse me...uhhh?

SONIC

Sonic! I'm the tribe leader!

CREW MEMBER

There's a rope behind you. Can you walk over and clip it to the bottom of the helicopter? It's to carry out all the old crates.

SONIC

What do I have to do?

CREW MEMBER

You'll see it. There's a hook. Just thread it through. It's simple. Sorry. We're kind of in a rush. Our boss is pissed...

_(The CREW MEMBER walks away. SONIC looks behind him. There is indeed the end of a LONG, GREEN CABLE sitting behind him. However, this isn't the first thing he sees. Instead, SONIC notices the end of a LONG, BLUE ROPE. He picks it up. He shrugs. He walks over to the HELICOPTER, leaving the OTHERS alone)_

_CAT_

_(Breaking the silence)_

So...I'm curious what I missed...

WAKKO

_(Sprawling out in the dirt)_

I mean, there _was_ that parachute that dropped this colossal box of Yodels and ice cream sandwiches. Besides _that,_ it's been boring, man..

DODGER

Yeah Cat, c'mon! You think we'd start strategizing without _you... ?_

_(At the mention of the word, "strategy," everyone tenses up. DODGER smirks, seeing he's caught them all off-guard) _

MARVIN

_Speaking_ of that - the sun's going down. I would suggest you all head back to camp-

CAT

_(Quietly)_

Yeah,_ about_ that...guys, look, I kind of have to tell you something...

WAKKO

_(Concerned)_

What's wrong, Cat?

_(TIMON peeks out from behind the BOULDER behind them. He clears his throat and steps forward, trying to look confident)_

TIMON

_Cat!_ My man! Could've sworn you were roadkill-

CAT

_(Ignoring TIMON)_

This is important, guys - please, listen-

TIMON

_(Sensing danger)_

...What is it?

CAT

_(With difficulty)_

So...while I was getting checked out by the doctors, I did a lot of thinking. I mean, when I passed out, I didn't know what was going on. It was like this...bright flash. I thought I was dead. So, the more I thought about the game-

_ (Behind them, the HELICOPTER begins to take off. SONIC walks back over, dusting his hands, waving at the OTHERS. __The HELICOPTER starts to rise into the air. Everyone covers their face as the wind bathes them in dust. Suddenly, TIMON makes a horrible realization)_

TIMON

Wait, guys, that rope tied to the bottom...

WAKKO

What rope?

TIMON

_There._ Where did that come from?

SONIC

Oh, they're just picking up some spare crates. They told me to tie it..

TMON

Wait, I can't see - what color is that?

SONIC

Blue.

TIMON

That's...OH MY GOD!

_(The HELICOPTER rises into to the air. The ROPE begins to pick up an object on the BOULDER behind everyone. Without warning, MARVIN's BUNNY is dragged helplessly up into the air, flying at fifty miles per hour. It squeaks on fear, struggling to break free. The HELICOPTER rises, carrying it further and further up into the SKY)_

MARVIN

HOPSALOT!

TIMON

SONIC, YOU IDIOT!

SONIC

IS THAT A RABBIT?

MARVIN

Don't just stand there! Do something! HOPSALOT! MY LOYAL FRIEND! COME BAAAAAAACK!

_(MARVIN runs out into the clearing, waving his arms, trying to attract attention. The HELICOPTER flies out of view, carrying his BUNNY out over the horizon. MARVIN collapses to his knees. He stares at the sky, dumbfounded, apparently in a state of shock. Nobody moves. After a moment, RITA steps forward nervously)_

RITA

I...I could find you another one...

MARVIN

My...bunny flew away...

_(A long, awkward silence. Nobody says anything. Finally, TIMON clears his throat, trying to smile. He's lost for words)_

TIMON

Well...we lost a bunny, gained a cat!

CAT

Timon, shut up.

* * *

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

I think it was Rita who left him there with the rope...because of her deep capacity for _cruelty._ But...if I lost my temper at Rita...it wouldn't be doing me any good. As I watched my friend being carried off to the great beyond..I knew I couldn't erupt at anyone. No. There's no justice in the world. No purpose. No loyalty. Just._..you. _For the sake of Hopsalot, the airborne rabbit...I will win this game..and return to Mars...

_(Cut back to the scene. Everyone is consoling MARVIN, watching as the HELICOPTER disappears over the MOUNTAINS. MARVIN stares out at the SKY, face blank, unflinching)_

_(Cut back to MARVIN in a confessional)_

_MARVIN_

...I never should have trusted these people...


	25. If You Can't Take The Heat, Part IV

_(Cut to some time later. MARVIN stands on the edge of camp with a makeshift ax. He seems very angry. He is in the process of chopping up a PILE of WOOD. RITA stands behind him, arms folded. She isn't sure what to say)_

RITA

I...I could get you another bunny.

MARVIN

_Hmph. _Well, perhaps it's _not_ a replacement I'd like...but the same bunny I'll never see again...

RITA

He was a cute rabbit, Marvin...

_(MARVIN doesn't respond. He just chops another LOG with the AXE. RITA takes a step closer)_

...Do you not believe me?

MARVIN

_(Solemnly)_

I'm convinced _you_ switched the ropes...

_(Pause)_

RITA

What?

MARVIN

Did you switch the ropes, Rita?

RITA

_No-_

MARVIN

_(Quickly)_

Very well. Very well. Come. Chop wood with me. I'm not going to bite...

RITA

_(Crossing over)_

W_hen?_ When was there one time where I could have, like, reached into your bag,_ removed_ the rabbit-

MARVIN

How did you know it was in my bag?

RITA

I sleep next to you!

MARVIN

Well, no matter...

_(He offers her the AX)_

Chop some wood. Make yourself useful...

RITA

I couldn't have taken it!

_(MARVIN holds the AX out toward RITA. She jumps back a little, frightened)_

MARVIN

The tip isn't that sharp. Want to see?

RITA

What?

MARVIN

Go on. Touch it.

RITA

I didn't _do_ it, Marvin! Do whatever you want, okay-

MARVIN

_Rita-_

RITA

_(Finishing)_

But there's nothing I could have gained from taking your pet!

MARVIN

Your concerns are boring me...

_(MARVIN rolls his eyes, pulling the AX away from her. He starts to walk away. RITA groans, very annoyed. She rolls her eyes. She calls out to him)_

RITA

Wait, _wait._ I'll...I'll touch it!

MARVIN

Just a prick of the finger...

_(MARVIN holds the AX out to RITA, eyes gleaming. She stares at it, angry, lost for words)_

RITA

If you _cut_ me-

MARVIN

A finger in exchange for a bunny?

_(RITA sighs and holds out her PAW. She touches the AX lightly, feeling how sharp it is. MARVIN yanks it away. Startled, RITA steps back again)_

MARVIN

Not a _drop_ of blood...

RITA

What could I have gained?

MARVIN

_(Cutting her off)_

Why are you aligned with Timon and Sonic?

RITA

Because we're voting out Dodger!

MARVIN

And why haven't I heard?

RITA

I was going to!

MARVIN

Do you know what's going to happen if you make _finals?_

RITA

I know...

MARVIN

You're in quite the predicament.

RITA

I _know-_

MARVIN

You're content being dragged to the end?

RITA

I didn't come here to talk game!

MARVIN

Okay...

RITA

I mean, I _did -_ I...I came here to talk about voting for Dodger...but there's more to it...

MARVIN

This should be good...

_(RITA takes a deep breath. She starts to sniffle. MARVIN seems disturbed, but he struggles not to show it)_

RITA

I'm crying. Damn it...

MARVIN

_Go on..._

RITA

I was never taunting you...or mocking you. I think it's screwed what happened to your friend... that's all I have to say...

_(Pause. MARVIN studies her closely. After a moment, he drops the AX to the ground)_

MARVIN

_(After a moment)_

You really didn't take it, did you?

RITA

No! _No!_

_(She laughs in relief, struggling to stop tearing up)_

Yes! I mean, I'm not a witch...

MARVIN

Well...then who _did?_

* * *

_(Cut to a shot of TIMON running in the DESERT. He crouches behind ROCKS, ducking into CRATERS, trying not to be seen. He looks absolutely panicked)_

_(Cut to TIMON in a confessional)_

TIMON

I know it's sickening, I know it's messed up, but I've got to cover my tracks...

_(Cut back to the scene. TIMON is now scaling the same SMALL CLIFF where he left the BUNNY. He reaches the TOP, squinting in the sunlight, sweeping the ground and trying to find something)_

_(Cut to another confessional)_

TIMON

...Of course, then I remembered...I left my damn backpack on top of the cliff...

_(Cut back to the scene. TIMON picks up his KNAPSACK, strapping it on. Suddenly, he hears voices. He glances down in the DESERT and sees CADPIG and WAKKO walking about twenty feet below)_

TIMON

_Crap..._

_(TIMON ducks out of sight, trying to hide behind a ROCK. The camera shifts to WAKKO and CADPIG at the base of the CLIFF. They seem to be searching around for something)_

WAKKO

Cadpig, this is ridiculous-

CADPIG

I _know!_ I mean, who looks at this cute, snuggly, wuggly little thing and decides, "Hey, y'know what's missing here? A freaking JET ENGINE CARRYING IT AWAY INTO THE STRATOSPHERE!'

WAKKO

We can play detective later...

CADPIG

Aren't you _upset?_

WAKKO

Well, yes, I am - but-

CADPIG

_(Cutting off WAKKO)_

Do you think it was Rita?

WAKKO

I don't _know-_

CADPIG

_(Very quickly)_

I mean, cause she's always playing mind games with Marvin-

WAKKO

_(Struggling to stay calm)_

_Look. _I _love_ bunnies...

CADPIG

Okay...?

WAKKO

But there's a vote tonight.

CADPIG

Don't you care?

WAKKO

Yes. But last round, I lost my sister. You lost Courage. Do you want something like that again? We still have to talk to Rita and Cat about flipping on Marvin...

_(There is a shower of PEBBLES from above them. TIMON has lost his balance. He slips off the CLIFF, plummeting down right in front of them. He cushions the fall with his KNAPSACK. WAKKO and CADPIG stare at the KNAPSACK in shock. They make the connection)_

TIMON

_(After a moment)_

Um, hey guys...

CADPIG

YOU!

TIMON

Whoa, whoa, I can explain-

CADPIG

BUNNY ASSASSIN!

TIMON

You better back off all right?

CADPIG

WHY? WHAT WAS YOUR LOGIC?

TIMON

Hey, I'm warning you!

_(WAKKO steps forward and heaves TIMON up from the ground. TIMON backs up in the CLIFF, cornered, frightened of approaching them)_

WAKKO

I'd like an explanation _too,_ Timon!

TIMON

Well, stop hogging my air! Let me breathe!

WAKKO

Did you really_ tie_ the rabbit?

TIMON

I love animals! I hide from poachers, for crying out loud! I mean, I...I stole the rabbit, _yes-_

CADPIG

You_ admit_ it-

TIMON

I did it so Marvin would blame Rita! I thought they were aligning to vote me out! I...I needed to do something to save myself-

CADPIG

So how'd the bunny go airborne?

TIMON

SONIC! Sonic tied the wrong rope to the helicopter. I'm just trying to cover it up, y'know?

_(Pause. The OTHERS glare at him_

So you...you won't tell anyone, right?

WAKKO

Well...you_ did_ steal the bunny-

TIMON

I didn't, like, mistreat it-

WAKKO

But if it hadn't been for _you-_

TIMON

(Cutting him off)

I gave it carrots even-

WAKKO

(Continuing)

Okay, but If you hadn't taken it, this wouldn't have happened.

TIMON

You're going to equate stealing a bunny with _tying it_ to a helicopter?

CADPIG

_(Shaking her head)_

Ugh. Whatever, Timon...

_(CADPIG tries to drag WAKKO away. TIMON angrily steps forward and stops them)_

TIMON

Oh no you don't! Ya think I'm going to let you tell Marvin?

WAKKO

What's more important? Marvin's pet or this stupid game?

TIMON

This isn't just a board game, kid-

CADPIG

Yeah! Maybe of we were playing Monopoly or something, you wouldn't have failed at every challenges! I want you to tell Marvin _exactly_ what happened -

_TIMON_

_No-_

_WAKKO_

_(Trying to be gentle)_

Marvin_ is_ going to find out. Why don't you just turn yourself in rather than...have Marvin ..tear you apart?

TIMON

I can't do that...

CADPIG

Well, there's always an alternative...

TIMON

What?

CADPIG

I could tell him.

_(Pause)_

TIMON

If you told him Cadpig, I swear-

CADPIG

Come on, Timon. I could whoop you like a hunk of salami...

TIMON

_What?_

WAKKO

OKAY, LOOK! Marvin's going to find out. You're just hurting yourself at this point...

TIMON

_(Glaring at WAKKO)_

Let Marvin come at me. I'll be ready for him...

_(Pause)_

Y'know Wak...your pockets are looking pretty empty tonight...

WAKKO

_(Glaring at TIMON)_

So?

TIMON

Cadpig here has an Idol. You, on the other hand...maybe we could throw a couple of votes your way...

WAKKO

You wouldn't-

TIMON

Well, if you turn me in, I'll just rally the others to vote you out! How's that?

CADPIG

_(Blurting it out)_

Hey. Hey. Timon.

TIMON

What?

CADPIG

If you don't side with us tonight to vote out Marvin...what if we told him about the rabbit?

_(Silence)_

TIMON

You're going down _that_ route?

CADPIG

I'll tell Marvin that _you_ grabbed his rabbit, forcibly tied it to a helicopter, and sent it flying away over Death Valley.

TIMON

_(Appalled)_

Where the heck is this side of you coming from?

CADPIG

It's the side that eats meerkats for breakfast.

TIMON

_(To WAKKO)_

And you're just going to stay _silent_ here?

WAKKO

_(Glaring at CADPIG)_

Well, it...it isn't, like-

TIMON

Speak up!

WAKKO

Shut _up,_ Timon!...Look. It's not right to _blackmail_ people, Cadpig-

CADPIG

He's trying to vote you out!

TIMON

_(Very annoyed)_

...Um, hey dingbats-

CADPIG

_What?_

TIMON

I_ could_ swing to Marvin. All right? That was our plan for tonight. You didn't bother to _talk_ to us!

WAKKO

We were _going_ to...

TIMON

Oh, shut up, Wakko! You kill yourself defending Dot! Now what, you're defending Cadpig?

WAKKO

_(Annoyed)_

I...I didn't say I was _down_ with what she's-

TIMON

_(Rolling his eyes)_

NOPE! Done deal! I'll vote with you. Why not? Yay for blackmailing!

_(TIMON storms away. WAKKO watches in dismay. CADPIG observes him worriedly, unsure of what to say next)_

_CADPIG_

_(Quietly)_

I _had_ to, Wakko. I was trying to protect you..

_(Pause. WAKKO doesn't respond)_

Wakko?

WAKKO

_(Not looking at her)_

Stop this...

CADPIG

Stop what?

WAKKO

Remember the old Cadpig?

CADPIG

Who's _that?_

WAKKO

You're..you're letting the game_ change_ you. Tone it down. _Please..._

CADPIG

_(Feebly)_

I...I didn't mean to blackmail him.

WAKKO

I know-

CADPIG

I just felt bad... about the bunny because-

WAKKO

_(Glaring at her)_

Yes. But now Timon _hates_ us...

* * *

_(Cut to TIMON in a confessional)_

TIMON

If by some stretch of miracle Cadpig makes finals, I'm going to give her one _hell_ of a jury speech, let me tell you that. ...I could've pulled the sympathy card with those guys, y'know, milking the whole thing about my Mom - but I refused. I won't sink that low. If Cadpig has an Idol, and she's probably sketched out enough to _play it_ at this point...I'm going to get everyone to shoot for _Wakko._ I don't even want to risk splitting the votes tonight...

_(Cut to TIMON, SONIC, RITA, MARVIN, and DODGER gathered around the CAMPFIRE)_

TIMON

So you're all right with flipping, Dodger?

DODGER

I mean...it won't be the first time...

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

Timon approached me with this whole spiel about flipping on Wakko. I mean, initially, I was _against_ it – just, y'know, considering my, uhhh...questionable relationship with Cadpig. Then the more I thought about it, I figured they've got majority anyway – since you've got Marvin, Rita, Timon, Sonic, and Cat _all_ gunning for Wakko. Right? So really, if I just throw a random vote this round and play dumb...I could get_ rid_ of Wakko and keep Cadpig going forward...

_(Cut back to the scene)_

TIMON

I want to_ believe_ you want Wakko out-

DODGER

He's good at challenges. People like him. Let's do it...

TIMON

_(Slowly)_

All right - well, we_ are_ going to have to deal with a venomous Cadpig next round-

DODGER

_(Pretending to be CADPIG)_

_"Okay my peeps, let me look into your eyes. Whoever has the most positive energy get a million dollars."_

RITA

_(Laughing)_

That was good, Dodger!

DODGER

_(Laughing quietly)_

Nah, Cad's a good kid. She's just, y'know, ._.loud._

RITA

_(Cutting him off)_

Whatever! We're all annoying. _I'm_ annoying.

SONIC

_(Smiling, moving closer to her)_

Nah, you're just spunky, Rita. I like it...

RITA

Yeah. Back away_ now_, Sonic...

_(The OTHERS force laughs. SONIC glances over at MARVIN. He seems detached from the OTHERS, staring out into SPACE. SONIC smiles at him)_

_SONIC_

Oh. Hey Marvin-

MARVIN

_Yes?_

SONIC

Y'know, if you're looking for a new pet, there's some salamanders under that rock by the shelter!

_(Long, painful silence. Everyone looks at each other)_

MARVIN

_Hmph._

SONIC

You could keep it in your pocket!

TIMON

_(To SONIC)_

Are you an awful person or just an idiot? I can't tell sometimes.

MARVIN

_(Coldly)_

I'd _love_ to replace my pet!

SONIC

Cool! I'll show you the rock-

MARVIN

And next time a jet engine picks you up and drags you away as your life flashes before your eyes, why don't we replace _you?_

_(Awkward pause)_

_SONIC_

Hey. Um, can I just take this moment to say...

MARVIN

_Yes?_

SONIC

The guy told me to clip the rope, and I just-

MARVIN

One rope was blue and the other was green-

SONIC

I'm color-blind-

MARVIN

_(Standing up)_

WELL, YOU'RE ALSO AN IDIOT!

TIMON

_(Raising his hand)_

EXCUSE ME GUYS? On the _"S.S Timon"_ we run with happy faces. We don't squabble!

RITA

_(Whispering to DODGER)_

Yeah...if we're going by him, we'd also don't _bathe..._

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

I know _exactly_ what Timon's trying to do. He's planning to _use_ Dodger and myself - two people who have been relentlessly targeted all game - to pick off Wakko and Cadpig. After that, they'll gain majority and finish off _both of us._ So at that point, you're looking at a Final Four: Timon, Sonic, Cat, and probably Rita - also probably the most anticlimactic ending ever.

_(He pauses for a moment)_

Still, I'm just playing along for now - because I think if I just feel people out a little more, I could turn the game around...

_(Cut back to the scene. TIMON glances around the CAMPFIRE, inspecting everyone's faces. After a moment, he frowns)_

_TIMON_

Hey guys...has anyone seen _Cat?_

* * *

_(Cut to somewhere out in the DESERT. CAT seems to have retreated very far from CAMP - in fact, he seems to be off in an uncharted area. The area is a SMALL FOREST of DEAD TREES. CAT glances through the FOREST, glancing up at the BRANCHES, shielding his FACE from the SUN)_

CAT

After Marvin's...incident...I felt bad breaking the news to everyone. So, I decided to go for a walk first...

_(Cut to CAT glancing up at the BRANCHES. He seems to notice something. It's some kind of SMALL ANIMAL stuck on a HIGH BRANCH, very frightened. CAT's jaw drops)_

_(Cut back to CAT in a confessional)_

_CAT_

When I was at the clinic, there were a lot of things going on in my head - but one thing I kept coming back to was...when I was little, Dog and I went to this carnival in town. They had a freak show - y'know, those barbaric practices: bearded women, people with three heads... Then the ringleader came up to us. He wanted us to sign a contract...to be in the show. The freak show...

_(Cut back to the scene. CAT is climbing up the TREE, heading toward the HIGHEST BRANCH. When he reaches it, he finds MARVIN's BUNNY. It is shaking and terrified, still tethered to the ROPE that somehow came loose from the helicopter. CAT smiles and picks it up)_

_(Cut back to CAT in a confessional)_

_CAT_

Being kids...we didn't know any better. We signed the forms. We went on stage...and we stood there, belittled and abused. People threw soda at us. Popcorn. Kids our own age were yelling things...

_(Cut back to the scene. CAT caresses the BUNNY, stroking its back. It seems to like him. Sitting at the top of the TREE, CAT glances out at the HORIZON. He ponders what to do)_

_(Cut back to CAT in a confessional)_

CAT

I don't remember what happened next. I think this woman got us outside somehow. I just remember being with my brother by the merry-go-round crying. The police were there...and one of them said something to me. Something I just remembered now..."Those people don't get you. I don't even get you...but your brother does, and that's all that matters..."

_(Cut back to the scene. CAT now stands in the middle of the DESERT with the BUNNY. Over the HILL, smoke rises from the FIRE at the CAMP. CAT seems to consider approaching. However, he frowns, holding back. Very gently, CAT places it down on the ground. It stays for a moment, sniffing his hands. CAT nudges it forward. The BUNNY - formally known as HOPSALOT - takes off into the DESERT. CAT watches and smiles)_

CAT

When I let the bunny go free...that was where I felt it. Seriously, I don't remember the last time I felt so happy. I realized what really mattered. I realized what didn't...and then the words just rose up to the top of my throat...

_(Cut back to the scene. CAT's smile quivers, trying to form words. He takes a step forward. He raises his arms to the DESERT, standing in the sunlight. Then, at the top of his lungs, he screams)_

CAT

I QUITTTTT!

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. CAT, SONIC, and TIMON are sitting together on ROCKS on the outskirts of CAMP. TIMON and SONIC look shocked) _

SONIC

C'mon. You have to at least let me _try_ to talk you out of this...

CAT

I'm done.

SONIC

Come on, Cat-

CAT

_(Quietly)_

I made a mistake.

SONIC

But-

CAT

And if you guys just needed me for the_ vote _this round, I don't know what to tell you.

TIMON

_(Quietly)_

We didn't _need_ you for this round...

CAT

Okay...

TIMON

I mean...it would have been nice...

_(Awkward pause)_

SONIC

I don't understand what you're feeling...

CAT

What do you mean?

SONIC

I don't have a brother. I don't know. I don't get how it feels...

TIMON

Why didn't you just tell us this earlier?

CAT

I didn't want to complicate anything.

_(Pause)_

I'm sorry, Timon...

TIMON

For what?

CAT

The letter..._everything..._

_TIMON_

You shouldn't be...

CAT

I was going to see Dog when I got home no matter what. I mean, for you, based on what you said about your Mom, it really seemed like...y'know, that was up in the air-

TIMON

Hey. We brought that upon _ourselves._ Talking to your family shouldn't be something that...gives you the jitters like it does for _us, y'know?_

_(Pause. CAT is taken aback)_

Look, look...I'll tell you what...

CAT

Yes?

TIMON

Didn't you say people mess with you and Dog back home?

_(CAT starts to tear up, but not out of fear. His manages to smile. TIMON struggles not to cry as well)_

CAT

Yeah..

TIMON

_(Smiling back)_

Well, give me their address. I'll mail them a bunch of millipedes. How's that?

CAT

Thanks...

_(CAT breaks down. He wipes his tears)_

I feel like... you guys were my only friends here. I mean...before I left...just...thank you...

SONIC

_(Resting a hand on his shoulder)_

Get out of here, Cat. All right? If you can't take the heat, go home..

_(CAT stands up awkwardly. He glances at SONIC. SONIC struggles to make eye contact - but he still opens his arms to invite a hug. CAT accepts. When they finish, SONIC seems to be struggling for word. TIMON watches from the side. He seems to want to get up, but he can't manage to do it)_

_CAT_

Something to say to me, Sonic?

SONIC

Just...look, hit me up when we get back home. I'll get you in shape. Next summer, you'll be looking like a tank!

CAT

Well, before I go, there's something _else_ I can offer you guys...

TIMON

_Yes?_

CAT

Use it tonight. Burn it. Whatever. Just take it.

_(CAT reaches into his KNAPSACK. He pulls out the IMMUNITY NECKLACE that he won at the CHALLENGE. The OTHERS gawk at it)_

Who wants to be immune?

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. CAT is nowhere to be found. TIMON and SONIC stand together by the CAMPFIRE. SONIC holds the IMMUNITY NECKLACE)_

TIMON

THANK YOU, CAT! HALLELUJAH!

SONIC

_(Very forced)_

If either of us win the million man, we're giving a little something to him! No questions asked!

TIMON

I'll chip in for a scratching post!

_(He claps SONIC on the shoulder)_

So what's up, whatcha thinking big man?

SONIC

_Hmmm._ Let me think...let me think...

_(SONIC takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. TIMON notices that he seems uncomfortable)_

TIMON

You still shaken up?

SONIC

_(Trying to laugh)_

...Yeah. I mean...I don't deal with this stuff, y'know?

TIMON

Saying goodbye?

SONIC

I don't know. Drama. Like, I'm okay with drama.. Usually. Unless it's depressing...

TIMON

_(Gently)_

Isn't _all_ drama depressing?

SONIC

_(Smiling at TIMON)_

Yeah, whatever. So...we can only play this necklace thing _tonight,_ right?

TIMON

You can't stash a necklace you won at a challenge...

SONIC

But - wait - oh my God, my gears are spinning!

TIMON

Whatcha thinking, bro?

SONIC

_(Awed)_

We're "bros?"

TIMON

DUH! Since - well, since Norb got blindsided, right?

SONIC

_(Raising his hand)_

WAIT! One of the pillars of "brohood." We need a handshake.

TIMON

..Um, what?

SONIC

I've got a handshake for all of my friends! Don't you?

TIMON

I only have, like..._two._

SONIC

(Raising his hand)

Well, we'll start with our fists, man. See? Spin them around. Do the thumbs-up...

TIMON

_(Fumbling with his hands)_

I'm uncoordinated...

SONIC

_(Laughing a little)_

Just, here, take your finger-

TIMON

_(Getting annoyed)_

I give up. What's your big idea?

SONIC

_(Holding up the NECKLACE)_

Let's give this to Wakko, right? We save him tonight. Marvin freaks out. He plays his Idol. Heck, for all we know, Cadpig freaks and plays hers, so no more Idols. Then with Wakko covered, _everyone_ votes out Dodger. _Bam!_

_(Pause)_

TIMON

I...I don't think we're cool with Wakko and Cadpig...

SONIC

So we flip. We earn their favor; we take majority-

TIMON

_(Frowning)_

But - that's a really bad idea...

_(Pause)_

SONIC

Why?

TIMON

_(Very nervous)_

I'm not...cool with Cadpig and Wakko...

SONIC

What did you do to them?

TIMON

There's just a lot of, um...differences...

SONIC

Um...what?

TIMON

There's, like...um, cultural, economic, um, sociological...um...differences...

SONIC

What?

TIMON

Y'know what I mean?

SONIC

No, I don't-

TIMON

_(Cutting him off)_

And like, personality conflicts! Y'know?

SONIC

I don't...

TIMON

There's just a lot of, like...conflict between me and those guys, so...so going forward, I'd prefer not to bother them. _That's all._

_(Awkward pause)_

SONIC

So - are they, like, _racist?_

TIMON

_What?_

SONIC

Well, you said cultural-

TIMON

No! What? Don't be an idiot!

SONIC

(Annoyed)

I don't know! Maybe they're, like, prejudiced against meerkats-

TIMON

No one hates meerkats-

SONIC

_(Shaking his head)_

Dude, we're sidetracked. Go back, go back-

TIMON

Isn't it better to work with people who don't, y'know, _hate_ you?

SONIC

That's a loaded word: "hate."

TIMON

You really think they hate me because I'm a _meerkat!?_

SONIC

_Ugh._ Timon-

TIMON

_(Pointing at SONIC)_

Give me, like, one example of any time they hated me-

SONIC

See!_ Look!_

TIMON

What do you mean?

SONIC

See! Now you're arguing that they_ like_ you. If that's true - why can't we just flip?

TIMON

I...I don't know...

SONIC

Are you, like, paranoid that they don't _like_ you? I mean, if it's the meerkat thing - I mean, you're covered in dirt all the time, you kind of smell like the jungle...but it's no reason for them to, like, _hate_ you...

_(Pause)_

TIMON

_(After a moment)_

I got to tell you something...

SONIC

Sure...

TIMON

_(Glaring at him)_

You can use this against me...but, I mean...it's something I did...

SONIC

Okay...

TIMON

I have _nowhere_ to go.

SONIC

What is it?

_(MARVIN appears behind them. Very quickly, SONIC hides the IMMUNITY NECKLACE. MARVIN crosses over to the CAMPFIRE and picks up an EMPTY PAIL. He winks at them, clearly observing)_

MARVIN

Didn't mean to disturb you.

SONIC

Just talking here, Marvin...

MARVIN

_Hmmm._ Thought I smelled something fishy, but I must have been wrong-

SONIC

_(Annoyed)_

Okay, Timon doesn't smell that bad!

TIMON

_(Looking at MARVIN)_

Actually...I think I have a a migraine.

SONIC

_(Confused)_

Um - you sure, bro?

TIMON

Yeah, yeah, really. I'm fine. I'm...I'm going to go lie down. Catch you later...

_(TIMON hurriedly walks away. On his way out, he turns to MARVIN, winking at him quickly. MARVIN nods before looking away. SONIC looks at MARVIN, confused, wondering what's just happened_

MARVIN

Don't worry, Sonic. Friends always come back...unless they're bunnies...

* * *

_(Cut to TIMON in a confessional)_

_TIMON_

I mean, I know Sonic's playing the friendship card and everything. I feel bad about it...but what am I supposed to do? Align with Cadpig and Wakko after..."bunnygate?"

_(He takes a deep breath)_

I mean, if I can't vote out Cadpig because she might play her Idol, and I can't vote out Wakko because Sonic's freaking giving him immunity - well, yeah, I guess I'm going to _have_ to flip on Sonic...

_(Cut to MARVIN, RITA, and TIMON standing together off in the DESERT. TIMON looks very uncomfortable. The atmosphere is very tense)_

MARVIN

Are you sure it was Sonic?

TIMON

Positive.

RITA

_Sonic_ stole the rabbit?

TIMON

I'm going by what he told me...

MARVIN

He tied it to a _helicopter?_

TIMON

You can believe what you want...but that's what I heard, and I think he's trying to pull in Wakko and Cadpig to _frame_ me-

MARVIN

_(Quietly)_

Did he feed it?

TIMON

Why would you ask?

MARVIN

I want to know if Hopsalot ate...before his..._demise..._

TIMON

Well...he gave it a couple carrots maybe...

RITA

_(Glaring at him)_

So...what do you want from_ us?_

TIMON

If you guys, me, and Dodger team up...we could vote out _Sonic_ tonight. He's giving Wakko Cat's immunity necklace...

RITA

Wait, slow down - go back - where's _Cat?_

TIMON

Cat quit.

MARVIN

_What?_

_TIMON_

He got picked up by a truck. He's gone. So, think about it: what does that mean for _you_ _guys?_

MARVIN

(Appalled)

He quit?

TIMON

_Yes,_ Marvin.

MARVIN

That...that ungrateful, spineless little-

RITA

_Cool it!_ So - you're saying you want Sonic out, Timon?

TIMON

_Yes-_

RITA

We'd have to talk to Dodger. In that case, we'd want Dodger and Wakko out _next._ Then in the Final Four, we knock out _Cadpig._ How does that sound?

TIMON

Sounds like a relief...

RITA

_(Still glaring at him)_

You bet..

TIMON

_(Standing up)_

Thank you, guys! I don't know what I can do for you! I mean - if you ever need a box to sleep in Rita, or if you ever want to, like, abduct some gazelles in Africa to probe them Marvin, _I'm_ your guy! Thank you.

_(RITA nods at him, not responding. MARVIN is still too angry to speak. TIMON nods awkwardly, smiling, and takes off)_

_MARVIN_

_(Annoyed)_

I wasn't even down with that_,_ Rita-

_RITA_

Shut up, Marvin...

MARVIN

What?

RITA

Look at what our jungle friend left behind...

_(RITA bends down and picks up TIMON's knapsack, orphaned on the GROUND. There is something orange in the front pouch, clearly visible. She pulls out a BABY CARROT. There are a RABBIT'S BITE MARKS on it. She shows it to MARVIN, who is aghast)_

_RITA_

What's up, doc?

* * *

_(Cut to RITA smiling in a confessional)_

RITA

So – I don't know, after exposing Timon as a marsupial bandit, I'm actually _a lot_ more calm. It's like – it felt good to do something right. I mean – for a while, I was really anxious about the idea of having to send home Marvin – but now, I just feel better with everyone in general. I mean, I'd hang with Sonic - even Dodger, and I thought was a flea-ridden pest before. It's just...relieving. I can make my own moves. I can stop caring. I can just, y'know.. be _me..._

_(Cut to a few minutes later. RITA and MARVIN are now crouched together in the SHELTER. MARVIN is holding one of the CARROTS in his palm. He strokes it back and forth, staring out into space. RITA seems excited, talking about some kind of plan)_

RITA

I'm fine with going incognito, man. I'll pretend I'm _with_ them. Then I'll just flip. We'll vote out Sonic...

MARVIN

_(Forcing a smile)_

Is this some kind of spy movie? I should watch out; the villains tend to die grotesquely-

RITA

I don't think you're a villain. I mean - coming from me, that's a compliment...

MARVIN

You think _so_ highly of yourself...

RITA

The dark side's _great..._

MARVIN

I'm glad we're in _tune_ with each other...

_(Awkward silence)_

RITA

So, I mean, after this round, we could just vote out Dodger and Wakko right? We could save Cadpig for Final Four - then, I mean, whoever wins final immunity just takes Timon...

MARVIN

_Hmph._

RITA

Can you speak English?

MARVIN

A captain goes down with a sinking ship...and I'd be pleased to go down with this one...

RITA

Well, I'm going to go talk to them; pretend to side with them, y'know? I'll talk to you before the vote...

_(MARVIN scowls at her. RITA smiles)_

Hey, hey, can I get a _hug?_

MARVIN

Excuse me?

RITA

For making it this far?

MARVIN

If I had a festering wart on my foot, I can assure you...I'd name it _Rita._

_(RITA grins and steps forward. She reaches out to hug MARVIN. MARVIN, very uncomfortable, allows it. He doesn't even move his arms. It's probably the most awkward thing ever)_

RITA

_That_ was weird...

MARVIN

Adios.

RITA

Goodbye Marvin...

_(RITA takes off in the other direction. MARVIN glares at her, watching her go)_

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

_MARVIN_

I can _tell_ what's happening - they're all going to shack up together, alienate Dodger and myself, and then try to vote us out. Rita's just playing both sides to...pacify me for now. So is that it? Do I bow out _now?_ Do I leave this game...covered in dirt and holding the lingering remains of my friends' carrots? In my anger management classes, I was advised...to practice deep breathing. Right now however, I can hardly breathe at all - and I've never been more thrilled to be _angry..._

* * *

_(Cut to somewhere out in the DESERT. SONIC is standing with CADPIG and WAKKO, both of whom look horrified)_

WAKKO

_Who's_ trying to vote for me?

SONIC

Timon - but wait, let me explain-

CADPIG

_(Cutting in)_

Wakko, it's not like we _didn't_ see this coming-

WAKKO

_Ugh, Cadpigggggg-_

CADPIG

Timon was antagonizing us-

WAKKO

You could've handled it better!

_(WAKKO starts to pace back and forth, rubbing his head. The OTHERS watch worriedly. CADPIG takes a step forward)_

CADPIG

Calm down! We'll bring in Cat and...um - I mean, if Sonic's willing to vote with us, we'd only need two more so-

SONIC

Cat quit...

CADPIG

WHAT?

WAKKO

I'm so done!

_(WAKKO seizes his KNAPSACK. He chucks it into the air. It goes flying and lands about fifty yards away. He starts to walk away from the OTHERS. CADPIG runs out to stop him)_

CADPIG

I said I was sorry-

WAKKO

_(Not looking at her)_

_Stop._ Please. Stop talking-

CADPIG

(Glaring)

I'm not going to sit here like a slug, all right? We're not going to sit here, like...like wiggling amoebas. We're cognoscente; were capable of intelligent thought here- so let's apply reason-

WAKKO

_How?_

CADPIG

Well, reasonably, you're _probably_ going home-

WAKKO

_(Groaning)_

Oh my God..

CADPIG

But let's apply conflicting reason to argue! Look at me - you're_ not_ going home tonight...

WAKKO

Then tell me _how? How? _I know you said we're not slugs, but I feel like jelly...

SONIC

I know how...

_(SONIC reaches into his KNAPSACK. He pulls out the IMMUNITY NECKLACE that CAT gave him. The OTHERS stare at in shock)_

SONIC

Cat's immunity necklace. He gave it to me before he quit-

_(He points to WAKKO)_

Tonight at Council, I'm hooking you up with it, boyo-

WAKKO

You're out of your mind-

CADPIG

Cat gave that to _you?_

SONIC

He hooked me up before he left - so cut the confrontation; hang with the hedgehog. I'll give this to you. We make a pact for the Final Three...

CADPIG

There's no funny business here...?

SONIC

I'm missing the punchline.

CADPIG

I'm just..perplexed...

SONIC

There's no other reason for me to give this to you.

WAKKO

_(Pointing at the NECKLACE)_

Yeah, Cadpig - I don't have the receipt for this...

CADPIG

Well, we would need a fourth person. Who would that be?

SONIC

(Frowning)

Timon's being fidgety. Don't tell him...but I think he suspects you guys are a little...prejudiced...

WAKKO

What?

SONIC

I mean, meerkats are kind of gross. But don't, like, _discriminate..._

CADPIG

What's Timon been telling you?

SONIC

He seems scared.

CADPIG

_(Catching on)_

Wait, Wakko - because we yelled at him about the rabbit!

WAKKO

You think that's why he targeted me?

CADPIG

Yes! Can you believe him, man?

SONIC

_(Excited)_

Wait, wait - go back - did they find the rabbit?

_(Pause)_

WAKKO

Should we tell him?

CADPIG

I mean, we kind of have to. Sonic - um - are you like _biffles_ with Timon?

SONIC

A biffle?

WAKKO

It's Cadpig-speak for...friend...

CADPIG

I think it's great that you guys have built such, like, positive camaraderie-

WAKKO

Cadpig, don't beat around the bush...

CADPIG

Timon stole the rabbit...

_(Pause)_

SONIC

_What?_

CADPIG

He stole Marvin's bunny.

SONIC

I think you guys have something mixed up here...

WAKKO

He confessed.

SONIC

But - dude, I gave him a secret handshake-

CADPIG

Sonic, we're sorry.

WAKKO

_(Gently)_

Hey. I mean, I know you mentioned that he made you eat that caterpillar too...but really, bugs just, like, burn through your digestive system...

CADPIG

_What?_

WAKKO

I've eaten a few.

CADPIG

Okay, well - that's beside the point...

_(RITA appears behind them. The OTHERS crowd together, apprehensive. SONIC struggles to hide the NECKLACE. RITA sees it but doesn't seem surprised)_

RITA

Did you guys already tell him about the rabbit?

WAKKO

What are you doing back here?

RITA

There's a vote soon.

CADPIG

Yes, we told Sonic about the bunny napping. Now, what do you want?

RITA

Timon's trying to frame Sonic...

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. SONIC is sitting on a ROCK, dejected, his face in his hands. RITA stands beside him, her hand on his shoulder. WAKKO and CADPIG stand nearby)_

SONIC

He just, like, threw me under the bus...

RITA

Well, it took you like three weeks to realize, Sonic, but congratulations! You're playing "Survivor"...

CADPIG

Well, the good news is we know the_ truth._ Marvin does too, like Rita said. Timon will never win now...

SONIC

_(Quietly)_

He deserves to go home...

RITA

_(To WAKKO and CADPIG)_

Well, I'll tell you what, guys. If you're gunning for Marvin right now, you're making a mistake...

CADPIG

What's going on?

RITA

Well, during that whole schism to blindside Wakko, I think Marvin _stopped_ trusting the two of you...and just so you know, Dodger was in on it too...

CADPIG

Are you telling me that Dodger flipped?

RITA

Yep.

CADPIG

_Again?_

RITA

He wanted Wakko out...

WAKKO

I mean, if we're willing to work together tonight to get rid of Dodger, I'm down...

SONIC

No. I just...like, why would Timon _do_ that?

RITA

Oh Sonic, get over it. People lie. At this point, yes, I'd be fine getting rid of Dodger...

WAKKO

Cadpig?

_(CADPIG doesn't respond. She looks away from WAKKO, apparently in deep thought)_

Cadpig?

CADPIG

_(Quietly)_

I'm going to be honest. I don't know...

RITA

Are you kidding me?

_(WAKKO steps forward. Very quickly, he pulls RITA aside and whispers to her)_

WAKKO

Look Rita - look - I think I _know_ where she's coming from with Dodger. I can sort her out. Go...sort out Sonic...

_(RITA glances at WAKKO wearily. She nods and takes SONIC, nudging him away. SONIC sighs and follows her off, shaking his head. CADPIG and WAKKO are left alone. CADPIG sits down on the ROCK, massaging her head. WAKKO forces a smile. He sits down beside her)_

WAKKO

All right, the doctor's in the house!

CADPIG

I'm sorry, Wakko - _really-_

WAKKO

What's bothering you? Here. No secrets here. Nothing's embarrassing. Like...two years ago, I crammed fifty jelly beans into my mouth and they turned to juice and I couldn't find a trash can, and so when my sister talked to me, it all spilled out of my mouth-

CADPIG

_(Smiling a little)_

Well, I guess that's...funny-

WAKKO

What's eating your head?

CADPIG

_(Closing her eyes)_

I _do_ I want to vote out Dodger. I do-

WAKKO

Good - well, _that's_ a step in the right direction!

CADPIG

I don't...I don't want to say Dodger's gotten into my head. It's embarrassing - but-

WAKKO

What are you embarrassed of?

CADPIG

He flipped to try to vote out me and Courage! I know he's just screwing with me when he tries to nice but - Dodger's really good at making me think he, like, needs _help. _He gets in my head...

WAKKO

Help with what?

CADPIG

He plays the victim! He makes me think he, like, deserves something!

_(She takes a breath)_

So I don't want to ask you for help...but do you have an idea of how I can, like, stop thinking about him?

WAKKO

You want to hear my honest advice?

CADPIG

Yes?

WAKKO

Vote him out...

_(Pause. WAKKO starts to chuckle. CADPIG is put off for a second. Then she starts to giggle as well)_

And this appointment will be ten million dollars...

CADPIG

No. Do me a favor, if I ever, like, stick up for him again...please slap me-

WAKKO

Can I hit you with a mallet? That's more my expertise...

CADPIG

I'd like to push Dodger off a cliff...

_(She starts to laugh harder)_

I'm hysterical. Oh my God, I'm losing it! I mean, it feels so good to get this out...

_(She stands up and hugs WAKKO. WAKKO hugs her back)_

Thank you! You smell like roadkill but thank you!

WAKKO

And you smell like a really old carpet covered in pee!

* * *

_(Cut to somewhere else off in the DESERT. MARVIN stands by the WELL, dropping the PAIL down into the WATER with the ROPE. TIMON appears behind him. MARVIN is aware but ignores him. TIMON clears his throat, trying to smile. Again, MARVIN ignores him)_

TIMON

Hey Marvin-

MARVIN

I'm getting water, Timon. Can it please wait a second?

TIMON

Yeah, yeah - sure. Busy guy right here!

_(MARVIN doesn't laugh. TIMON takes a deep breath)_

Uhhh...yeah. Look, I just wanted to say thanks...for believing me. I thought that was honorable...

MARVIN

Do you consider throwing your friend under the bus honorable?

TIMON

I mean, in comparison to me, I feel like Dot was a horrible person...but once we get home, I wouldn't be surprised if ya'll start partying with her, y'know?

_(MARVIN chuckles. TIMON relaxes a little)_

Well, except _you,_ Marv - can't see you drinking through a funnel or anything. I like you, y'know that? I mean, I feel like we're two of a kind; we're aliens. That's how I feel half the time anyway...

MARVIN

You're some kind of African rodent...

TIMON

The _inside,_ man - not on the outside... Hey. When this game is over, you know what I'm going to do?

MARVIN

What?

TIMON

_(Smiling a little)_

I mean, with the million - a resort in Africa, man. Like, in Africa, but completely fenced-in, y'know, to save everyone from the hyenas. Well, you can think whatever you want of me Marv...but I'm hooking you up with a one-week stay. Bell hops. A pool. A cabana. I want to give that to you...

_(MARVIN doesn't respond. TIMON glares at him, a little annoyed)_

Y'know, it would be really nice of you to say something...

MARVIN

_(After a moment)_

I'm glad to be invited to your..."meerkat manor"...

TIMON

...Yeah...

_(Pause)_

Well...Dodger's in the loop now, right?

MARVIN

He's getting firewood...

TIMON

Well, let me know. And y'know, the resort. I'm not kidding. You're welcome anytime...

_(TIMON walks off. MARVIN doesn't respond. He pulls the PAIL out of the WELL with the ROPE, unfazed, unflinching)_

* * *

_(Cut to the center of CAMP. DODGER is sitting alone at the CAMPFIRE with MARVIN. The sun has completely set and the flames are licking their faces. The time for TRIBAL is fast approaching)_

DODGER

Whose voting me out? Who flipped?

MARVIN

_You._ You abandoned Cadpig in order to vote out Wakko. Before you accuse our tribe mates Dodger, it would be helpful to look in the mirror...

DODGER

I'd rather save my own hide...

MARVIN

You're going home. Why don't you be a little less accusatory and listen?

DODGER

_(Glaring at him)_

I just feel like...kind of mistreated. That's all-

MARVIN

Well, I'm sure Cadpig feels the same...

_(Pause)_

DODGER

What do you _want?_

MARVIN

I'm dead-locked out of the finals. Even if I play my Idol at Final Six, I wouldn't last the next few rounds without winning immunity - and if I voted you or Sonic out, there's a very good chance that immunity would go to Wakko. I don't want that, Dodger. You can think of yourself as my human shield; you can think of me any way you want- but if it means keeping the target off my back, I'd be willing to save you tonight...

DODGER

That's an offer.

MARVIN

The smirk on your face says otherwise...

DODGER

Who would you vote out this round instead of me?

MARVIN

You're going to laugh in my face-

DODGER

_Timon?_

MARVIN

Think about it: Rita's not worth getting rid of, Cadpig has an Idol, Wakko's going to be immune, Sonic's not worth getting rid of...If we aligned with Sonic next and guilt tripped him into flipping, Sonic could probably beat Wakko in the challenges. Timon, on the other hand, is a waste of space to me. He's outlived his usefulness...

DODGER

You'd be losing someone you could definitely_ beat..._

MARVIN

What's the honor in that?

DODGER

Does...this have anything to do with your rabbit, Marvin?

MARVIN

Were you _aware?_

DODGER

_(Smiling)_

Aware of what? See now you've got to tell me; what happened?

MARVIN

I don't have to-

DODGER

Is _Timon_ the one that stole it?

MARVIN

I'd prefer not to...have you _intrude..._

DODGER

Dude, to you, _everything's_ personal.

MARVIN

I don't want to talk about it.

DODGER

Are you sure?

MARVIN

Yes.

DODGER

Fine...

_(Pause)_

I mean, thanks for covering me though, man. I could return the favor...

MARVIN

You're not responsible for anything...

_(Another pause)_

Well, I wish you an exciting Tribal...

_(MARVIN gets up to leave. DODGER watches apprehensively. He coughs, trying to get MARVIN to stop. MARVIN turns and looks back at him)_

MARVIN

_Yes?_

DODGER

Yknow, I had a pet too when I was a puppy.

MARVIN

A what?

DODGER

A goldfish. I had a goldfish. I stole it from a pet store. I got it in this plastic bag full of water - but there was a leak inside, and so the time I got to fifteenth street, it was dead...

MARVIN

_(Frowning)_

Well, that's enthralling...

DODGER

Are you sure you don't want to hang out, man?

MARVIN

_(After a moment)_

I...I could I suppose...

_(MARVIN crosses back over to DODGER. He sits back down on the LOG. DODGER smiles at him. MARVIN struggles to return it)_

_MARVIN_

I mean, that's unfortunate - about your goldfish..

DODGER

Yeah, there was this, like...coral reef thing on display. It poked the hole...

_(A pause)_

MARVIN

So...is there a reason you're so...uncomfortable around Cadpig now?

DODGER

_(Quietly)_

Oh. Just, like...steam leftover from Courage really. She's weird.

_(Pause)_

So, are you into, like...do you like any football teams?

MARVIN

_(Ignoring him)_

Why do you seem so_ scared_ of her though?

DODGER

_(Annoyed)_

Why are you bringing this up?

MARVIN

Retaliation. You brought up my bunny. Is it because you're...guilty?

DODGER

Marvin, I'm here to be _friendly_ with you. That's all.

MARVIN

Fine.

DODGER

Good.

_(Awkward silence)_

Anyway, the New York Jets are a football team..

* * *

_(Cut to TRIBAL COUNCIL later that night. The TRIBE enters with their RESPECTIVE TORCHES. They place them on the RACK and take their SEAT at the BENCH. SONIC is wearing the IMMUNITY NECKLACE. The HOST is already standing on his PODIUM, ready to make an announcement)_

_HOST_

Well, as you're all probably aware at this point, Cat has decided to _quit_ the game - however, after having a conversation with his brother over the phone, he has also agreed to stay on location and become the third member of our Jury. That means he will still be a deciding vote as to who gets a million dollars..

_(The OTHERS nod, some relieved, some apprehensive. The HOST smiles at them)_

Well...with that being said. It's time to vote. Sonic, from the look of it, Cat _gave_ you his immunity necklace before he left the game. For those reasons, the necklace is still in play this round. Are you planning to keep it or give it away to somebody else?

SONIC

Well, some decisions are hard, but I made this one in a heartbeat. Wakko...I'm hooking you up tonight..and I hope somewhere down the road, you can respect that...

_(SONIC takes off the IMMUNITY NECKLACE. He hands it over to WAKKO. WAKKO smiles softly before clipping it around his NECK. Both, however, still looks incredibly anxious. The same can be said for CADPIG and RITA sitting nearby)_

HOST

Wakko...now immune tonight. Yet for some reason...absolutely _nobody_ looks surprised. _Dodger,_ would you care to comment?

DODGER

Well, they don't have anything to be smug about. I mean, there's people here who know what's going to happen; then there's the guys who _don't. _They'rethe ones who are history tonight. So...I'm not going to squeal on nobody. I'm just going to sit back and watch...

HOST

Well, with that being said, it is time to vote. Timon...you're up...

* * *

_(Cut to TIMON in the VOTING BOOTH)_

TIMON

All right Sonic, I _can't_ keep you around anymore. Just...stop blindly trusting people so much. One day, you're going to walk into traffic. I'm sorry but...I'm _not_ going home tonight. Goodbye.

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional)_

WAKKO

I shouldn't have survived this round, but low and behold, I'm standing with this around my neck. Dodger, you have ten lives in this game...and if you make it to _eleven,_ I might just stick my head into a washing machine...

_(Cut to SONIC in a confessional)_

_SONIC_

All right, Timon, I'm angry. It's really, really hard to make me angry, and you've managed to make me angry. So congrats. Um, I can't vote for you tonight, but mark my word: I am_ not_ going to let you take a seat at finals - and yes, just so everyone knows, I'm_ not_ a racist. Meerkats are cool. It's just Timon...

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

Dodger, we've had the most confuzzling relationship ever. If you don't go home tonight, there is something really out of whack with the cosmos...

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

I'm in a real rough patch right now, ya'll...but trust me, I'm going to dig my way out of it...

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

So, I really thought about this one - and - I mean, as much as I've built up a good rapport with Marvin, I _wouldn't_ beat him in the finals. This is the best time to _flip._ My vote tonight goes to Dodger. I'm probably going to have to deal with Marvin going psycho on me next round...but I don't know, I'll find him a pet squirrel or something...

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional. He doesn't say anything. He just writes down a name. Once he's done, he pulls a BABY CARROT out of his sleeve. He bites on it in front of the CAMERA. Then he whistles and strolls out of the BOOTH)_

* * *

_(Cut back to the scene. The CONTESTANTS all sit together, waiting for the HOST to return. DODGER in particular looks very apprehensive. He keeps glancing at MARVIN, trying to make eye contact. MARVIN doesn't return it. The HOST comes out of the HALLWAY with the URN of VOTES)_

_HOST_

Once the votes are read, the decision is final. The person voted out will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately. If anyone has a hidden immunity Idol, now would be the time to play it...

_(The OTHERS glance at CADPIG. She takes a breath, but seems confident. She doesn't go for her KNAPSACK. Everyone turns to glance at MARVIN. There's a moment's pause. Then MARVIN reaches into his KNAPSACK)_

_MARVIN_

Hold on, wait just a moment here-

_(WAKKO, CADPIG, RITA, and SONIC exchange smiles, believing they've tricked MARVIN into wasting his IDOL. TIMON seems alarmed, struggling to piece together what's happening. DODGER smiles and leans back in his seat)_

HOST

Please bring it to me, Marvin...

MARVIN

_Hold up_. This isn't for me tonight.

_(He turns to address the OTHERS)_

Look at these people here. You're looking at a majority of_ four._ Rita's flipped. Sonic's flipped. They're going to have no reservations about going to the end together. Well, that's where _I_ come in. Some may consider this...a waste. Playing an Idol on another person, especially a threat-

RITA

_(Alarmed)_

Wait, Marvin, what're you doing-

MARVIN

However, I need a foundation to stand on - allies -and I can't do it on my own. Dodger, I offer you my loyalty. You're welcome to take it...

_(DODGER stands up. MARVIN hands him the IDOL and sits back down. DODGER crosses up to the HOST and hands him the IDOL. He takes a deep breath and sits back down, grinning ear to ear. Everyone else is horrified)_

_WAKKO_

Cadpig, your Idol. Play your_ Idol._ Quick...

_(CADPIG glances over at WAKKO, SONIC, and RITA - all three of them are staring at her, pleading for her to play her Idol. She glances over at DODGER and MARVIN, both of them studying her, waiting for her to play it. Looking at their FACES, CADPIG frowns. She sees something is off. She stiffens. She stares right back at them, fierce, unblinking. She doesn't go for her KNAPSACK)_

_HOST_

Once the votes are read, the decision is final. The person voted out will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately. I'll now read the votes...

* * *

**FIRST VOTE**

**SONIC**

**SECOND VOTE**

**DODGER (doesn't count)**

**THIRD VOTE**

**DODGER (doesn't count)**

**FOURTH VOTE**

**DODGER (doesn't count)**

**FIFTH VOTE**

**DODGER (doesn't count)**

**SIXTH VOTE**

**TIMON**

**SEVENTH VOTE**

**TIMON**

**Tenth person voted out and the fourth member of our Jury...**

**TIMON**

* * *

_(Cut to the TRIBES' reaction. CADPIG cries out in joy, thankful that she didn't waste her Idol. WAKKO and SONIC are shocked, struggling to piece together what's happened. RITA seems terrified - realizing now she's been caught flipping. DODGER leans over to MARVIN, thumping him on the BACK. MARVIN doesn't respond. He glares over at TIMON, who is still gawking at the FINAL VOTE)_

_HOST_

Timon, that's enough. Time to bring me your torch...

MARVIN

_(To TIMON)_

That was for Hopsalot. Don't forget to write...

TIMON

All right, THAT'S IT! You're _not _invited to my meerkat resort-

MARVIN

But it won't exist. You're not going to be a millionaire.

TIMON

_(Too angry to speak)_

I...I...I-

MARVIN

Goodbye Timon.

TIMON

Whatever! I'm _done_ with you people!

_(TIMON gets up and picks up his TORCH on the RACK. He storms over to the HOST. He has difficulty placing the TORCH on the POST because he's so short. Finally, he stares at the HOST, glaring at the FLAME)_

_HOST_

_Timon...the tribe has spoken..._

_(He puts out TIMON's TORCH)_

Time for you to go...

_(TIMON storms off down the HALLWAY, swearing under his breath, exiting the game for good. The HOST watches him wearily. Then he turns back to the OTHERS, managing a smile)_

HOST

Well...after an unprecedented series of events tonight, we have our final six - Marvin, Cadpig, Rita, Wakko, Dodger, and Sonic - as well as _one_ Idol out of play. Keep in mind: the Final Five is the _last_ time that you can use a hidden immunity Idol. We'll have to see how that plays out. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp...

* * *

**VOTE TALLY**

* * *

**RITA voted for DODGER (did not count)**

**CADPIG voted for DODGER (did not count)**

**WAKKO voted for DODGER (did not count)**

**SONIC voted for DODGER (did not count)**

**TIMON voted for SONIC**

**DODGER voted for TIMON**

**MARVIN voted for TIMON**

**CAT quit the game and did not attend TRIBAL COUNCIL**

* * *

A/N: Two for the price of one!

I actually have a decent amount to say about these two characters, even given that they were more second tier than some of the others. I also kind of like that they went together, because it allows me to talk about their similarities as well - the fact that both of them were sort of similar in a way (not really likable, kind of polarizing, made some questionable decisions) but also had very different ends to their stories.

First off, _Cat._ In the beginning of the story, I'd be surprised if _anyone_ liked Cat. I wrote him to be snobbish, annoying, and pretentious - but as the story went on, I think we saw a little more of his vulnerability. He didn't really trust people. In fact, I'd go as far to say that the only person that Cat _ever_ really trusted was Dog - and look what happened there.

To me, Cat's motivation was always about validation. He wanted to be respected. He wanted to be a hero. He wanted to force the world to see him as somebody admirable, rather than a freakish cat who was conjoined to a dog and tormented for it.

When Dog sent home, I think that motivation was split two ways, which really gave Cat a lot of trouble mentally. On one hand, he wanted to redeem Dog by winning the game. On the other hand, he had to live with the fact that it was _his fault_ that Dog left in the first place. Even though Cat was pretty unpleasant as a character, it's worth noting that he had some genuinely sweet moments. When he convinced Timon to flip to vote out Dot, I think his concern was coming from a very real place. Then there's his final action of giving up his immunity before he quit, which surprisingly enough, may have been the most selfless act in the story so far.

Really, Cat could've just given everyone the middle finger and left the game - but I think the fact that he was willing to give up his immunity to his friends before he left (and keep in mind, they'd never really even used the word "friends" to describe their relationship to begin with) says something positive about his character. As a whole, Cat's not really a character that I expected anybody would root for. I wanted his story arc to be polarizing, and I hope you were at least able to emphasize.

Timon was another polarizing one- which is why I'm glad I could talk about the two of them together. In terms of personality, Timon was actually one of the most fun characters to write. It's such a blast to write somebody that hypocritical who was constantly putting their foot in their mouth.

Timon was by no means perfect. In last few chapters, he did some pretty reprehensible things. Still, I think it's worth noting that Timon's decisions also came out of a genuine desperation to redeem himself - in his case to his family, particularly his mother. The whole incident with his Mom's letter really pushed him over the edge, and at that point, he may have wanted to win the game more than anything.

Like Cat, I also think it's worth looking at some of Timon's nice moments. In the beginning, Timon was actually really personable and well-liked by his tribe mates. It was only when he realized he looked like a coattail rider,and became frightened of the viewers would perceive him, that Timon started to become an overbearing train-wreck. Also, as evidenced by his final conversation with Marvin, I hope you can see that Timon actually has a lot of heart and genuinely wants to connect with people. He just doesn't really have the tools to make it work...

Anyway, we're down for the Final Six. Predictions and thoughts are always welcome. More to come later next week.

Also...be prepared for some very special visitors next episode. :)


	26. Let's Play With Dynamite, Part I

_(Cut back to CAMP sometime after the VOTE. SONIC, CADPIG, and RITA are all gathered around the FIRE. The OTHERS are nowhere to be seen)_

CADPIG

_(Speaking suddenly)_

_Hey_. Are either of you secretly trying to keep Dodger in the game?

SONIC &amp; RITA

WHAT?!

CADPIG

Because going forward, you'd be dumb to keep him!

RITA

Cadpig, we voted with you-

CADPIG

Do you swear? I want your word.

SONIC

_(After a moment)_

You can't, like..._force _us—

RITA

_(Quickly)_

She can.

SONIC

Well, a lot can change.

CADPIG

Like what, Dodger winning immunity?

SONIC

We don't know...

CADPIG

_Ugh!_ Make a decision!

SONIC

_(Stretching)_

I'm not going to take sides! I'm going to go take a bath...

RITA

You're leaving!?

SONIC

_(Annoyed)_

You can't promise things out here-

RITA

_(To SONIC)_

Let me go with you...

CADPIG

_(Raising her hand)_

You think I'm leaving you two _alone?_

_(SONIC exits. RITA turns to CADPIG, looking very concerned)_

CADPIG

Why'd he leave?

RITA

I said Dodger would beat us...

CADPIG

Well, Dodger_ would._

RITA

Well, Sonic's sensitive.

CADPIG

Do you want _me_ to talk to him?

RITA

I should. He trusts me. But...look, I'm _not_ a swing vote...

CADPIG

I know.

RITA

Can I just hear it from you?

_(CADPIG sighs and sticks out a hand)_

_CADPIG_

_H__i. _Cadpig. I'm not going to lead you to an embarrassing elimination...

RITA

Hi. I'm Rita. I've embarrassed myself enough...

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

_(RITA gets up and exits, walking off the way SONIC left. As she does, WAKKO returns quickly from the other direction. He sits down beside CADPIG)_

WAKKO

Hey Cadpig - you weren't, like...yelling at our allies - again - right?

CADPIG

_(Glaring at RITA as she walks away)_

_Hmph_. I don't know. Were you being guilt-tripped because you're a pushover?

WAKKO

Uhhh...harsh?

CADPIG

(_Rubbing her face)_

_Ugh._ Sorry. Sonic's being a curmudgeon...

WAKKO

What did you_ say_ to him!?

CADPIG

Nothing. I can take _care_ of myself...

WAKKO

I treat you like everyone else-

CADPIG

You treat me like Dot! You baby me all the time, Wakko...

WAKKO

_(Quickly)_

No. No. Do me a favor. If I ever babysit you again...slap me...

_(CADPIG playfully slaps WAKKO across the face. He is stunned)_

CADPIG

_(Winking at him)_

Sorry. Felt like a baby...

WAKKO

Oh, you picked the wrong ambiguous animal creature to mess with—

_(WAKKO grins at CADPIG. He reaches behind his back. Out of nowhere, he pulls out a CARTOONISH MALLET. CADPIG is shocked, looking like she's just seen a ghost)_

CADPIG

Wakko, how did you do that?

WAKKO

Toon powers. They made us sign a contract so we couldn't use them in challenges. Of course, this isn't a challenge—

CADPIG

HAH! I scoff at your magic tricks—

_(WAKKO makes a dive to smack CADPIG with the MALLET. She dives out of the way, trying to trip him. She ends up tripping over his foot. CADPIG laughs and stumbles away, collapsing into a TREE nearby. She notices a PIECE OF PAPER stacked against the tree. Interested, she unpins it and inspects it)_

CADPIG

Hey, look, look - the producers left a note here earlier—

WAKKO

Please tell me it's another auction; please tell me it's another auction-

CADPIG

"Attention tribe, be prepared for some special visitors tomorrow..." YES! OHMYGOD! LOVED ONES VISIT!

WAKKO

Let me see—

CADPIG

Dude, this is, like, my favorite part of the show! My brother's coming. HAH, Lucky said I wouldn't win! Ima wipe the smirk off his face...YES!

_(She notices that WAKKO looks concerned. She frowns)_

Wak...?

WAKKO

_(Crumbling up the note)_

What? Yes! Perfect! Fine and dandy—

CADPIG

_(Frowning)_

Wait...if both your sibs were in the game, who'd_ you_ put down for your loved one?

WAKKO

Oh. Well, the deal was...they said if_ one_ of us was one of the first three boots, they'd come back for the visit. If not, they'd hire...actors to pretend to be our parents or something...I don't remember...

CADPIG

Wait, but...the first boot was...

WAKKO

_(Forcing a smile)_

Yeah. You're getting an unwelcome visitor tomorrow, huh?

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

Wakko's...a nice guy...but Wakko's also notoriously weak-minded. He'll do whatever his brother and sister tell him...

_(Pause)_

If Yakko gets his hooks in Wakko tomorrow..that could be really, really bad news...

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. MARVIN is crouched on the ground somewhere off in the DESERT. He is sprinkling scraps of FOOD on the ground. He seems to be baiting LIZARDS. WAKKO walks up behind him. He clears his throat, capturing his attention)_

_WAKKO_

Marvin, I have a really, really weird question..

MARVIN

For the last time, _stop_ asking about my nose and my ears. I have receptors. I still have all nine of my senses...

WAKKO

That's not why I'm here. I need some advice...

MARVIN

_(Shocked)_

And you're coming to _me?_

WAKKO

Well, I'm trusting you not to use it_ against_ me-

MARVIN

I...I thought you'd ask...Dodger...

WAKKO

Let's say you had a _brother..._

MARVIN

Okay...

WAKKO

And your brother was, like...super good at things—

MARVIN

Okay—

WAKKO

But then when he gets on "Survivor"...well, _you_ start doing well for once...but then he comes back for a visit...

MARVIN

Yakko?

WAKKO

How can I tell my brother to back off? I'm scared he's going to, like...try to take over my game, force me to do things...

MARVIN

_(Amused)_

"Assertiveness training?"

WAKKO

I was just hoping that you'd be willing to-

MARVIN

Well, let's do some role playing...I'll be your brother...

WAKKO

Um, Marvin, I'm really having a hard time imagining you as Yak-

MARVIN

_(Putting on a perfect YAKKO impression)_

_"HELLLO SURVIVOR! What's going on? Warner número uno, back in the house..."_

WAKKO

_(Terrified)_

How did you do that?

MARVIN

_(Swinging his arm around WAKKO)_

_All right, little brother. Let's take a gamble here; let's roll the dice. I'm liking your game so far. Digging your style. However-"_

WAKKO

_(Brushing MARVIN off)_

I've got something to say, Yakko...

MARVIN

_"Then let's hear it.."_

WAKKO

Yakko, I am my own person, I've eaten lizards. I've bathed in the mud. I've become one with the desert—

MARVIN

_"Come on, hear my plannnnn—"_

WAKKO

No! You're awful at "Survivor!" So was Dot! You guys are ridiculous! I could say "no" to you even in...in a parallel universe where the only thing you're allowed to say is _"yes!"_ So - back - off-

MARVIN

_"Wak, my heart; it's breaking..."_

WAKKO

I'm going to leave now; I'm going to walk away...and maybe you'll change your mind when you see me holding a check!

MARVIN

_(Going back to his normal voice)_

How did that feel?

WAKKO

_(After a moment)_

...Amazing...actually...

_(He grins)_

Yes, yes, I'm going to stand up to Yakko!

MARVIN

That you are!

WAKKO

Wait, wait, I've got to ask. That impression. How?

MARVIN

You know how parakeets can mimic voices? So can Martians...

_(He puts on another familiar voice)_

_"Hey baby, I'm bringing this home to the NYC, you hear me?"_

WAKKO

This game's gotten really, really weird...

* * *

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

_DODGER_

So last round, I got my butt saved by Marvin. I'm still trying to shake off the humiliation. Plus I'm basically dead-locked. I got this, y'know, weird passive-aggressive thing with Cad going on – and now that she's with Wakko, Sonic, and Rita/ So I figured…if there's a weak link there at this point that I can trust, it's _Sonic…_

_(Cut to SONIC in the POND. He is sitting down, washing himself off. His RUNNING SHOES are laying on the ground nearby. DODGER approaches the POND, singing lightly under his breath. He notices SONIC unaware of his presence. DODGER smirks. He starts to sing louder)_

DODGER

_"Why should I worry. Why should I careeee..."_

SONIC

AHHHH!

DODGER

What's wrong, Capitan?

SONIC

I'm naked!

DODGER

You're always naked.

_(He nudges SONIC's shoes on the ground)_

SONIC

Hey, lay off the shoes. Don't touch the lucky shoes...

DODGER

I ain't messing...

SONIC

_(Frowning)_

You're welcome to join me. Just, y'know, don't expect much...

DODGER

I'd be glad...

_(DODGER waltzes into the WATER. He kneels down beside SONIC, cooling off. SONIC struggles not to look at him)_

You and me...taking a bath together. If we've got some weird fan girls out there right now, maybe they're enjoying this...

SONIC

Oh, the viewers probably love you. Don't rub it in...

DODGER

_(After a moment)_

So - I guess you're looking forward to getting out of here, right? It's what - like, a few more days?

SONIC

Give or take..

DODGER

And you're with the girls and Wakko now?

SONIC

I said I wasn't going to talk _strategy... _

DODGER

Strategy schmategy. Just making observation. What...you don't think you've got any fans out there in TV Land?

SONIC

_(Quietly)_

Not my problem...

DODGER

Whadya think your friends are thinking of you right now? I mea, it's got to be a bummer. Y'know. Their Blue Knight in Shining Armor, _gunned_ down on national television-

SONIC

_(Angry)_

I'm _not_ talking about my friends with you, dude—

DODGER

Why? I'm not attacking you...

SONIC

Then stop.

DODGER

Why are you so scared what your friends are going to think?

SONIC

How about _your _friends? Big-shot gang leader, right? If you don't want me to fling dirt, don't dig it up...

DODGER

Sonic, why are so dead-set on beating these people? Nobody's going to vote for you at the end.

SONIC

I _can_ beat them. If not, I have to try...

DODGER

Could you beat me?

SONIC

Conversation's over...

_(SONIC shakes his head and climbs out of the WATER. He grabs a TOWEL that he left nearby and starts to dry himself off. Glancing up, DODGER notices a VULTURE perched on a nearby TREE. It seems to be eyeing SONIC. DODGER tenses up, a little concerned)_

DODGER

Yo Sonic-

SONIC

_(Continuing)_

And I'm staying with my alliance.

DODGER

_Sonic, move..._

_(The VULTURE swoops down from the BRANCH. It starts to attack SONIC, nipping at his hair. SONIC screams. He jumps around trying to shake the BIRD out)_

SONIC

AHHH! My spikes! It's messing up my spikes!

_(DODGER jumps out of the POND and hurries over. He struggles to force the BIRD out of SONIC's hair)_

DODGER

Hold still, idiot - you're making it worse-

_(DODGER swats the BIRD off. It falls to the ground, disoriented, winds flapping. It bites down on the shoelaces of SONIC's sneakers. The VULTURE takes off into the air, carrying SONIC's trademark sneakers away. DODGER and SONIC watch, too shocked too process what's just happened. After a moment, SONIC makes the connection)_

_SONIC_

Wait...it took my shoes...

DODGER

They're just a lousy pair of sneakers, Sonic-

SONIC

_(Holding up his arms)_

MY SWAGGGG!

_(Cut to SONIC in a confessional. He looks very upset)_

SONIC

I've had those shoes for years. I've gone out of my way to keep them in mint-condition. I've never_ run_ without them. I mean... I've never won _anything_ without them...

* * *

_ (Cut to later that night. Everyone is huddled together in the SHELTER, struggling to sleep. SONIC is sitting up, looking out at the CAMPFIRE, staring out into space)_

SONIC

I think if we went out in the canyon...if we all split up and looked around...

MARVIN

Sonic, for the thirteenth time.

_SONIC_

_But-_

_MARVIN, CADPIG, RITA, WAKKO, &amp; DODGER_

Go to sleep!

_ (Cut to several hours later. A storm has started. It is pouring relentlessly. Everyone is huddled together, trying to keep warm. WAKKO opens his eyes. He glances at the water level beside the SHELTER. It is rising like the SHELTER is a boardwalk, nipping at the WOOD. WAKKO looks concerned. He starts shaking the OTHERS)_

WAKKO

Hey guys, problem! It's starting to flood...

DODGER

Crap. We've got to high-tail it.

MARVIN

Pick up all the essentials. Collect your garments. Head toward high ground immediately-

DODGER

That's _exactly_ what I just said-

CADPIG

Marvin made it sound cooler...

_ (Cut to RITA in a confessional) _

RITA

So, as everyone was getting ready to abandon our shelter, I made a little discovery...

_ (Cut back to the scene. Torrential downpour. Everyone is grabbing BAGS of FOOD, doing their best to save SUPPLIES. RITA makes her way through the RAIN. She crosses to the other side of the CAMPFIRE, heading for the POT Of RICE. She grabs it. RITA squints back at the CAMP, trying to see if she missed anything. There is a crack of LIGHTNING. She sees something hanging on a nearby TREE)_

_(Cut back to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

So, I saw Sonic's running shoes hanging from a tree. The bird must have dropped them...

_(CUT to RITA climbing the TREE. She snags the SHOES. Then she glances back at the OTHERS. They're splashing through the CAMPSITE, gathering BOXES and BAGS of SUPPLIES together. She watches as SONIC picks up a CRATE, struggling to hold its bearings. For a moment, RITA considers approaching SONIC - then she frowns. She glances down at the SHOES in her hand, curious, thinking of something)_

(Cut to RITA in a confessional)

RITA

I didn't want to hurt Sonic...but I mean, he's been really, really wishy-washy lately. Sonic thinks his shoes are...lucky or something...so...I've just got to prove to him that they are, that he _needs_ them to win...and that he's not getting them back until he does what I say...

_(Cut back to the scene. RITA rushes toward the OTHERS, now wearing SONIC's running shoes on her two back PAWS)_

RITA

Hey come on guys! I'll lead the way up the hill...

SONIC

Rita, are those my shoes!?

RITA

_(Ignoring him)_

Can't hear you. It's raining too hard...

_ (Cut to several minutes later. The TRIBE is trekking up a muddy hill nearby, lugging their supplies on their backs. Somehow, RITA leads the way, sloshing through the MUD with SONIC's shoes. SONIC, on the other hand, is quite a different story. He brings up the rear. He struggles to carry the CRATE, almost like it's suddenly too heavy for him. He glares up at RITA further up the HILL)_

SONIC

Hey Rita, I get this must be hard for you, but I'm kind of lugging behind. Can I please have my shoes back?

RITA

Sorry, y'know being a _girl_ \- I need that extra boost...

SONIC

I don't _need_ them...

_(SONIC struggles to lift the CRATE over his HEAD. He loses his balance and topples backwards, sliding down the HILL. RITA grimaces, trying not to look. She leads her way up the HILL with the OTHERS) _

_ (Cut back to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

I need Sonic to stay with Cadpig and Wakko - and just to take some extra precautions, I'm going to hold his shoes for ransom. You saw him on the hill. He was slipping and sliding. I mean, I don't know if he actually thinks they're lucky...but he's already pretty demoralized...and I think this hopefully just made it worse...

* * *

_(Cut to the following morning. The water has dried up and the whole camp is very moist. The OTHERS are gathered around the SHELTER, assessing the WATER DAMAGE. A RAINBOW rises up around the campfire, shimmering in the morning haze. RITA sits on a LOG, staring into the FIRE. SONIC crosses over and sits down beside her. He clears his throat)_

SONIC

_(Very uncomfortable)_

Could I have then back now?

RITA

_(Yawning)_

I might have tossed them off a cliff. Were they white and red?

SONIC

Rita, I've had those shoes for years. It's like - where I go, _they_ go...

RITA

Shoes do that.

SONIC

If you did anything to them...I'll...I'll...

RITA

Yes?

SONIC

I'll _sue_ you...

RITA

It would cost you more money to sue me than to just buy a new pair of shoes. Why do you need then so badly?

SONIC

Why do you have to _keep_ them?

RITA

I mean, does part of you honestly think they're like.._lucky?_

SONIC

I'd just like my shoes back...

RITA

_(Sighing)_

Look, you've been really sketchy lately. We need to stay with Cadpig and Wakko. So if you stay with me this round to vote out Dodger...I'll return your shoes...

SONIC

That's blackmailing!

RITA

No Sonic, it's ensuring that you're not going to _flip._ I mean - to be fair, I did wear them during the storm. I was freaking Wonder Woman. Maybe you're onto something with the luck thing...

SONIC

Please.

RITA

I'm not taking the risk.

* * *

_(Cut to some time later. SONIC sits somewhere out in the DESERT. As a replacement for his SHOES, he has fastened MAKESHIFT sandals out of BARK and LEAVES. He kneels on the GROUND, placing a JACKRABBIT down on the GROUND)_

_SONIC_

All right buddy, we're going to race. Ready?

_(SONIC takes off. He huffs and puffs almost immediately. Glancing down, he panics as he watches the JACKRABBIT outstrip him. It picks up speed. It dashes across the DIRT, hopping over ROCKS. SONIC pushes himself, struggling to keep up. It's no use - after a moment, the JACKRABBIT takes a sharp turn around a BOULDER. SONIC slips. He goes tumbling onto the ground, almost doing a somersault)_

_SONIC_

Oh my God...I'm...I'm not _fast_ anymore...

_(Cut to SONIC in a confessional. He looks dismayed)_

_SONIC_

It's all in my head. It has to be. I'm sure, I'm just, like...I'm only cramping up now because I'm sweaty and exhausted...

_(He takes a deep breath)_

So...how do I get them back from Rita?

* * *

_(Cut to the CHALLENGE the following morning. An aerial shot of a large clearing. There are at least twenty rows of PINATAS set up. The PINATAS are in the likeness of CONTESTANTS who have been voted out - such as COURAGE, NORBERT, DOT, etc. Several yards away, there are SIX PODIUMS set up, almost like a quiz game show. A HELICOPTER is also nearby, about one-hundred feet away from the playing field. The HOST stands on his MAT as usual, waiting for the TRIBE to enter)_

_HOST_

Come on in, guys!

_(The SIX REMAINING CONTESTANTS - MARVIN, DODGER, SONIC, CADPIG, RITA, and WAKKO - enter and take their spot on the PURPLE MAT. They smile at the HOST, waiting for instructions)_

HOST

Well guys, you've lasted a good, long time out here. What started as two tribes of eight has been decimated to six people – four original Nemos, two original Gerties. Just looking back at everything now, your scope of time has changed. The beginning of the game seems_ ages_ ago…and the world you knew seems even further away. Well today, we're going to link those two worlds together – the world you've created for yourselves out here, and your comfortable lives back home. We've brought you some very special visitors…Cadpig, say hello to your brother _Lucky…_

_(LUCKY steps out of the HELICOPTER. CADPIG doesn't waste a second. She sprints out into the CLEARING and dives, tackling him into the MUD)_

CADPIG

FINAL SIX! FINAL SIX! GIVE ME SOME SKIN, SOUL BROTHER!

LUCKY

You were right, you were right. Being a pest has its perks-

CADPIG

GIVE ME A HUG!

LUCKY

So…do I have to look at the camera and say it now?

CADPIG

Huh?

LUCKY

_The deal?_

CADPIG

_(Swinging her arm around him)_

Well, my time out here has softened my heart. I'll spare you the embarrassment. We'll say it together. One, two, three, look at the camera—

LUCKY &amp; CADPIG

"Hi, I'm Lucky, and when I was a younger, I tried bleaching the spots out of my fur so I could attract a Golden Retriever…"

CADPIG

Say I'm an awesome sister.

LUCKY

You're _awesome._

CADPIG

Now I'm done! Let's win this challenge please...because my Survivor buddy was voted out and everyone's going _cray-cray…_

DODGER

Nice collar, kid. Did your sister pick it out?

LUCKY

Who are you?

DODGER

Dodger…

CADPIG

_(Whispering to LUCKY) _

Yeah, he's, like, the villain. He's trying to provoke you...

LUCKY

Why so testy, city dog? Scared my sister's gonna cream you?

DODGER

Wow. Good job. Took her _much_ longer than that to dislike me...

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

HOST

All right, let's get some more faces in here. Dodger, we had a few people clamoring to see you, but one made up in volume what they lacked in height. Say hello to your friend…_Teto._

(_TETO hops out of the HELICOPTER. He is holding a BASEBALL CAP in his TEETH. He dashes over to DODGER. DODGER takes off into the MUD as well. They meet halfway and hug each other, laughing, collapsing to the ground)_

_TETO_

Dodge man! _Que pasa?_

DODGER

How's the gang!?

TETO

Ehhh, we started starving the moment you left. YOU CRAZY, MAN? We got all five boroughs cheering for you, people dropping food at our door – and look, look, check this out.

_(He shows the BASEBALL CAP he was carrying. It has DODGER's messy signature on it)_

We forge your little signature on them. They're selling like lottery tickets!

DODGER

Where'd you get the caps to begin with?

TETO

_(Nudging DODGER)_

Hey, learn from the best, steal from the rest - right amigo?

DODGER

Hook me up, man...

_(DODGER puts on the BASEBALL CAP. He swings TETO into a bear hug. After a moment, he starts to sniffle. The OTHERS seem shocked to see DODGER crying)_

HOST

Dodger, I don't think anyone here has ever seen you get emotional….

DODGER

I'm in good company back home…

HOST

Well, take your spot over there, guys…

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

I know we've all psyched Dodger up to be this, like, raging monster that was practically born to play "Survivor"…but when he was crying, it got me right in the feels. I mean, I'm totally done with his crap, don't get me wrong…but it's nice to see the dog behind the mask...

_(Cut back to the scene)_

HOST

Let's keep this gravy train rolling. Sonic….

SONIC

_(Rubbing his hands together)_

WOO-HOO! COME AT ME, TAILS!

HOST

Say hello to your friend Shadow—

SONIC

…_What?_

_(SHADOW steps out of the HELICOPTER. He doesn't make any attempt to run to SONIC. He just stands there. Confused, SONIC crosses over, scratching his head)_

SONIC

Um, hi Shadow—

SHADOW

Hello Sonic.

_(Awkward pause)_

SONIC

I..I didn't pick you.

SHADOW

I know.

SONIC

You weren't my alternate.

SHADOW

I know.

SONIC

You weren't even the alternate for my alternate...

SHADOW

I _know._

SONIC

So where are my friends?

SHADOW

Tails had jury duty. Knuckles lost the paperwork. Amy couldn't find a flight.

SONIC

_(Disheartened)_

Oh.

SHADOW

We're supposed to hug.

SONIC

Yeah. I mean, let's hug it out.

_(They force a hug. SONIC whispers into SHADOW's ear)_

If you lose this challenge on purpose Shadow, I'm _never _going to forgive you—

HOST

Well, that was…interesting. Rita, I know there's only one person you're expecting. Say hello to your friend Runt…

_(RUNT, a large SHEEPDOG, hops out of the HELICOPTER. He takes off, running toward RITA. RITA hurries into the MUD, colliding with him halfway. RUNT picks her up and swings her around)_

RUNT

YOU'RE A GOOD DOG, RITA! YUP, YUP! DEFINITLEY A GOOD DOG—

RITA

Slobber all over me! Glad to see you, buddy!

HOST

Rita, I have to say. It is very strange for a cat to have such a good relationship with a dog…

RITA

I _am_ a dog…

_(RITA winks at the HOST and turns around, walking with RUNT to the MAT. The HOST couldn't be more confused. He turns to address MARVIN and WAKKO, still standing on the original MAT. WAKKO seems very anxious. MARVIN doesn't look very happy)_

HOST

Marvin, you're not exactly jumping for joy...

MARVIN

_(Looking away)_

I didn't write anyone down to be my loved one…

HOST

Well, that's why we took matters into our own hands. Marvin, say hello to your dog…_K-9._

_(K-9 hops out of the HELICOPTER. He pants and hurries over to MARVIN, his tongue hanging out of his mouth. MARVIN is overjoyed. He dashes through the MUD, letting K-9 crash into him. He falls to the ground, his dog licking his face)_

RITA

Guys, I think my heart just grew five sizes…

HOST

Marvin, can you tell us more about your dog?

_(MARVIN turns to look at the OTHERS. He smiles uncertainly, searching for words)_

MARVIN

This is K-9. He's…he's been my only companion...since I was banished from Mars...

HOST

Well, if you win today's challenge, you might be able to stay with him a little longer – but we'll _get_ to that. We have _one_ more person to deal with. Wakko, what's going through your mind right now?

WAKKO

_(Very nervous)_

Well…um, I think I know who I'm expecting-

HOST

Indeed. One of your siblings _was_ out very, very early, and therefore had no long-term influence on the game…so we've decided to do you a favor...

CADPIG

_(Covering her face)_

Oh, no. This is bad, bad, _baaaad—_

DODGER

_(Catching on)_

Wait. _No._ Please don't tell me it's—

HOST

Yakko…come on out…

_(An ATTRACTIVE FEMALE PILOT steps out of the HELICOPTER. She is holding YAKKO in her arms, struggling to pry him off. YAKKO waves at the OTHERS)_

_YAKKO_

HELLLLLLOOOO DEATH VALLEY, CALIFORNIA!

_(The camera cuts to WAKKO. Very quickly, any sense of anxiety is lost. He grins at YAKKO with his tongue hanging out. Then he takes off into the MUD, charging after him) _

WAKKO

BROTHERRRSSS!

YAKKO

Aw come over here, you big lump!

_(YAKKO leaps out of the arms of the PILOT, who flees back into the HELICOPTER. He crashes into WAKKO. The two spin around together, falling down into the mud)_

HOST

Yakko, its worth asking - there's still _three_ people here who caused your elimination in the first round. How does it feel to be back?

YAKKO

Pssh. All this need for drama! But no, I don't hold any grudges. No wacky plans. I'm just visiting my s_ib..._

_ (Cut to WAKKO smiling in a confessional) _

WAKKO

At first, I was super, super scared to see my brother come back to mess up my game - but then I realized, "Wait, wait - this is_ Yakko."_ What am I going to be scared of next? My shadow? Oatmeal? I don't know if Yakko knows about all the...psycho-ness that happened with me and Dot...but when I saw him...after so long out here, it was awesome...

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. The TRIBE and their LOVED ONES stand on their PURPLE MAT, ready for instructions. The HOST stands in his usual spot)_

HOST

You guys ready to get to today's immunity challenge?

_(Everyone cheers)_

All right, first thing's first...Wakko, I know you didn't win it last round, but in a bizarre series of events, Cat gave immunity to Sonic...who proceeded to give immunity to _you._ It's time to take it back...

YAKKO

_(Clapping WAKKO on the shoulder)_

Not even winning and you're raking in the gold. Love it...

WAKKO

_(Forcing a laugh)_

Okay, yes Yakko, but let's be a little modest here...

YAKKO

Huh? Since when the heck were _you_ so serious?

_(WAKKO walks up to the HOST. He hands him the IMMUNITY NECKLACE and crosses back to the OTHERS)_

_HOST_

Once again, immunity is back up for grabs. Here's how this is going to work. You will choose - between you and your loved one - who will use a harpoon gun to shoot at the pinatas in front of you. The other member of your pair will be tasked with solving a jigsaw puzzle - which will tell you which order to hit the pinatas. The first person to hit the correct pinatas in the correct order wins not only immunity, but an added bonus. There will be a solar eclipse over Death Valley. You will be treated to an outdoor dinner with your loved one - maybe that extra boost you need to make it to the end. Worth playing for? Then let's get started...

* * *

_ (Cut to several minutes later. MARVIN, RUNT, LUCKY, YAKKO, SONIC, and TETO are out in the field holding HARPOON GUNS. CADPIG, WAKKO, SHADOW, RITA, DODGER, and K-9 are standing at the PODIUMS, ready to solve their puzzles) _

HOST

Survivors ready? GO!

_(The PUZZLE GROUP starts working furtively. They slide pieces around, struggling to make them fit together. Everyone out in the field cheers them on, shouting, offering advice)_

_(The camera cuts to CADPIG's puzzle. She frowns at the piece she is holding, which seems to be a picture of NORBERT's buck tooth. In fact, the puzzle itself - with almost fifty pieces - seems to be a collage of eliminated contestants. CADPIG spins the piece around, trying to make odds and ends of it. She shakes her head and grabs another one)_

LUCKY

All right, that's it, Cadpig. No pressure...

CADPIG

I need pressure! Pressure is good! Pressure me...

LUCKY

Um, you're running out of time...?

CADPIG

_Good._

RITA

_(To K-9, holding up a PIECE)_

Hey, alien-dog thing - does this look like the edge of the picture to you?

K-9

_(Smiling at RITA)_

%£!,|^¥~}^{~%...

RITA

Kay...

SONIC

_(Calling out from the FIELD)_

Shadow, come on, pick it up; we're lagging behind!

SHADOW

_(Throwing around pieces)_

I'm willing to solve your puzzle, Sonic. I won't tolerate your complaining-...

SONIC

Okay, Tails did _not_ have jury duty! Did you come here to sabotage me?

HOST

Sonic, getting antsy with his friend...

SONIC

He's not my friend!

_(Cut to DODGER's PUZZLE. He connects two pieces together, slamming them down on the podium. He goes for another handful and starts piecing some sections together)_

HOST

Dodger, already making progress...Everyone else is lagging. You've got to pick it up, guys.

TITO

_(Hopping up and down)_

Hey Dodge, hurry up man. I want to shoot a piñata...

_ (CADPIG starts working faster. She begins to piece together Norbert's face. Quickly, she realizes it's the first one in the line)_

CADPIG

Lucky! The blonde beaver! Shoot him! He's first...

_ (LUCKY picks up his HARPOON GUN. He squints through the sunlight and fires. It whizzes through the air, skimming the side of a NORBERT PIÑATA. Instead, it spears a DOT PIÑATA between the eyes. PINK SUGAR begins to fall out and pour to the ground) _

HOST

Cadpig's brother hits Dot's pinata! Incorrect! Got to start over...

LUCKY

_(Picking up the GUN again)_

Ugh, hang on, let me try again-

CADPIG

Lucky, concentrate. You don't work well when you're anxious...

LUCKY

No! I _need_ pressure! Pressure me...

CADPIG

But..._you_ crack under pressure-

LUCKY

Be my cheerleader. C'mon-

CADPIG

Um..._"Lucky, Lucky, he's our man...if he can't do it.."_ I mean, wait, he can do it; he definitely can. I was just being sarcastic-

LUCKY

Yeah, on second thought, be quiet...

(LUCK_Y fires a second time. Again, the HARPOON misses NORBERT. This time, it sails into COURAGE, cracking him in half. CADPIG winces, trying not to look. She goes back to tearing through the puzzle)_

_(Cut back to the field. Intrigued by LUCKY shooting for NORBERT, the OTHERS are taking aim as well. TITO fires at NORBERT. It misses and whizzes away into the air. _

_(RUNT loads his HARPOON GUN. He takes aim, steadying the WEAPON)_

_RUNT_

For Rita...the greatest dog of all time...

_(RUNT fires. The shot misses, tearing apart a ZIM PIÑATA instead. SONIC aims carefully, closing one eye. He sticks out his tongue, trying to be precise)_

SONIC

You don't need your lucky shoes. You've got this...

_ (The GUN doesn't fire. Confused, SONIC turns it to face him, inspecting it. It goes off and speeds toward the PODIUM. Just in time, WAKKO ducks behind his PODIUM to avoid being hit by the ARROW. He glares at SONIC) _

WAKKO

Hey, I like having eyes. Please don't impale me?

SONIC

Ugh, sorry, bro...

YAKKO

_(Calling out to his brother)_

Hey Wak, I'm going to take my first shot now...

WAKKO

_(Struggling with the puzzle)_

Yes. Okay. Be quiet. I'm trying to piece your face together...

YAKKO

Ehh...you okay? You're not acting like yourself-

WAKKO

Yes, I'm fine. I can't_ talk _right now...

_ (Cut to WAKKO in a confessional. He looks very frustrated)_

WAKKO

I know I kept saying I'd kick him to the curb last night if he tried to pressure me...but whatever. I wasn't going to lose in front of my brother. I've come too far...

_(Cut back to the scene. CADPIG has made some fair progress on her puzzle. She's beginning to piece together the second face, revealing it to be either KATZ or CAT - it isn't clear yet. _

_(WAKKO is shuffling PIECES around. He hasn't made much progress, and for some reason, he seems very stressed. YAKKO is watching apprehensively, clearly realizing something is wrong. RITA and SHADOW have both made some fair progress, but their sections are too small and vague to be deciphered)_

_(Cut back to DODGER's PUZZLE. He forces some more SECTIONS together, revealing KATZ's face to be the second FACE He turns back to TITO, cupping his hands to his mouth)_

DODGER

_Teto!_ After you hit Norbert, go for Katz! He's the red cat!

TETO

_(Picking up the HARPOON)_

_Bada-boom!_ Time to hunt some critters, man...

HOST

Keep in mind that part of the communication in this challenge is strategic. If you blurt out the answer, everyone _else_ will know as well. When do you choose to reveal to your partner your correct answer? How do you tell them? How do you know if they'll be able to hit the targets? So far...no correct pinatas have been hit...

_(TITO fires the HARPOON GUN. It cuts right through NORBERT's FACE, spilling YELLOW SUGAR all over the GROUND. TITO jumps for joy. DODGER fist pumps, ecstatic. He hurries back to the PUZZLE)_

HOST

Dodger and Teto make their first hit! Just three more to go! However...it looks like K-9 has been up to something-

_(Cut to K-9's PUZZLE. Unbeknownst to the OTHERS, most of the PUZZLE has been solved. He places in the last piece and glances up at his OWNER. MARVIN, having expected this, stares at him intently)_

K-9

%%^&amp;^%*^

MARVIN

What was that, boy?

K-9

&amp;^***((*(*&amp;^

MARVIN

Ah, yes. Just a moment, please-

_(MARVIN picks up the HARPOON GUN. He aims at the PINATAS and gets ready to fire)_

LUCKY

Wait a second, that's not fair! They're speaking alien!

HOST

It's not cheating. You _easily_ could have come up with a code to differentiate the pinatas. You never had to actually say the names...

LUCKY

Cadpig, come on, look at his puzzle. _Go._ Tell me the order!

_(The OTHERS - CADPIG, DODGER, SHADOW, and RITA - struggle to glance over at K-9's PUZZLE but it's too late. MARVIN hurriedly loads his HARPOON GUN. Without warning, he fires and pierces a NORBERT PINATA right through the face. He loads and fires a second arrow - this time cutting through a KATZ PINATA. He fires a third shot. It slices through a DOT PINATA. Then the fourth shot, finally, obliterates a PINATA of YAKKO. _

_EVERYONE is lost for words. _

_MARVIN drops the HARPOON GUN. He raises his arms to the sky, spinning around to face the OTHERS. K-9 barks and jumps off the PODIUM. He hurries over and tackles MARVIN to the ground)_

HOST

Marvin - winning in a _total_ wash-out! That's it! For the second time, Marvin wins immunity!

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. Everyone is standing back on the MAT. They applaud as MARVIN crosses up to the HOST. The HOST bestows him with the IMMUNITY NECKLACE, clipping it around his NECK)_

_HOST_

For the second time, Marvin wins individual immunity. Safe at Tribal Council...guaranteed a one in five shot at a million dollars. As promised, Marvin will be spending an evening with his loved one, where they will be rewarded with a delicious picnic. However, we're going to make this a little interesting. Out of everyone here, you can choose _one_ pair to accompany you. Everyone else will have their loved one sent home immediately...

_(MARVIN glances back at the OTHERS, frowning as he sizes them all up. DODGER glances at him, expectant - especially since they've been working together. _

_CADPIG doesn't seem very hopeful - but she still looks to MARVIN with a pleading look in her eyes. LUCKY swings his arm around her, hoping for the best._

_RITA seems uncomfortable, not really able to look MARVIN in the eyes. She glances over at RUNT, unwilling to desert him._

_SONIC stands with his arms folded, clearly very frustrated. He just seems ready to be as far away from SHADOW as possible._

_YAKKO glances over at MARVIN. He gives him a sly wink, trying to capture his attention. MARVIN notices. The moment MARVIN makes eye contact, YAKKO shifts his gaze to WAKKO - who looks very crestfallen. YAKKO speaks loudly enough for MARVIN to hear him)_

_YAKKO_

So what, d'ya get outmatched by a jigsaw puzzle, kiddo?

WAKKO

_(Smiling a little)_

. We_ should_ have swapped places.

YAKKO

_(Swinging his arm around him)_

_Psssh._ Well, not sure if the world's ready for Wakko to operate a harpoon gun, but we'll wait on that.

_(He raises his voice)_

Still, it would be a _shame_ if we don't get picked...I'm sure you have so much to tell me-

WAKKO

There was a mud slide, and a flood, and a flying bunny and- and-

YAKKO

_(Dramatic)_

Ahh, yes, yes, but the stories will have to wait, little sibling! I feel myself already...being dragged back to the helicopter. Farewell, crazy game. Yakko hardly knew thee... ..

_ (Cut to MARVIN in a confessional. He seems conflicted)_

MARVIN

After the challenge, I could tell exactly what Yakko was trying to do to me. He was trying to nudge me into bringing him and his brother on the picnic - probably because he wants to try to try and control Wakko's game. Do I think it's right how Wakko's constantly being...taken advantage of by his own family?_ No._..but do I want to take my dog, win a million dollars, and go back to Mars? _Yes. So.._.let's see if I can get Yakko to nudge his brother a little for me...

_(Cut back to the scene)_

MARVIN

I'd like to take the Warner brothers on a picnic...

CADPIG

_Crap..._

HOST

Well, you heard him. Wakko and Yakko, you will be accompanying Marvin and his dog to watch the solar eclipse. Everyone else, you will be given a short time after this to say goodbye to your loved ones - speaking of which, can you all please come over here? We need you to sign your release agreements. Everyone else, get your stuff, get ready to say your goodbyes...

_(A few members of the PRODUCTION CREW enter. The LOVED ONES gather around them, taking CONTRACTS to sign)_

_(YAKKO gives WAKKO a high-five. He walks over to MARVIN, hands in his pockets, whistling "The Mexican Hat Dance." WAKKO stays on the MAT for a moment. His smile fades. He turns to glance at the OTHERS - particularly CADPIG and RITA. They glare at WAKKO, waiting for him to say something) _

_WAKKO_

Well...picnic time, guys. I'll save you some nachos...

_CADPIG_

Listen...we know you're excited to see Yakko - but-

RITA

_(Cutting her off)_

I know a rat when I see one...

WAKKO

_Ugh._ Guys, c'mon. Please. My brother's not going to get to my head. We're just going for a picnic. It's fine. Look, look - remember when you told me not to baby you, Cadpig?

CADPIG

Yes?

WAKKO

_(Weakly)_

Well - I hope you'd do the same for me. Right?

_(CADPIG doesn't respond. She manages a smile, but it seems forced. She can't manage to look at WAKKO)_

_WAKKO_

Anyway, I'll see you guys later...

_(WAKKO turns and starts walking toward YAKKO, MARVIN, and K-9. Halfway there, he turns back to glance at CADPIG. There's a short silence. WAKKO offers her a smile, struggling to get her to return it. CADPIG just stares at him, watching sadly, very worried. WAKKO takes a deep breath. He puffs out his chest and walks away, joining YAKKO and the OTHERS)_

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

If he does something stupid...we're breaking more than just a Wakko pinata...


	27. Let's Play With Dynamite, Part II

(C_ut to somewhere off in the DESERT. The sky is maroon from the oncoming ECLIPSE. In the middle of a CLEARING, there is a large PICNIC BLANKET set up full of food. YAKKO sits comfortably on the BLANKET. He is popping a bunch of GRAPES into his mouth one-by-one._

_MARVIN stands nearby with K-9, holding his LEASH. MARVIN watches YAKKO in concern)_

MARVIN

You can't control Wakko's game alone! What makes you think he'll just...do what you tell him?

_(YAKKO winks at MARVIN. He picks up a STICK from the ground. He smiles at K-9. YAKKO chucks the STICK. K-9, unable to help it, barks and takes off after it)_

YAKKO

_(Winking at MARVIN)_

Just like that...

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

Out of the three Warners, Wakko was the only one perceptive enough to realize that they can't act like a gaggle of idiots and win "Survivor." Now...how do I get it into Yakko's head that he should convince his brother to _align_ with me?

_(Cut back to the scene. K-9 has returned. He now growls at YAKKO, trying to attack him. MARVIN holds him back with his LEASH)_

MARVIN

Never play fetch with somebody else's dog...

YAKKO

I'll say. He's volatile…

_(WAKKO enters holding a SPARKLER in each hand)_

WAKKO

Hey guys, guys, the production people gave us sparklers. You think I can get it between those rocks?

YAKKO

Wait, stop, stop-

_(WAKKO chucks the SPARKLER. K-9 can't help it. He barks and takes off after it again. WAKKO looks confused)_

MARVIN

STOP PLAYING WITH MY DOG!

YAKKO

He's a dog. They do dog things...

MARVIN

_(Struggling to stay calm)_

Let's just…have a picnic...

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional)_

WAKKO

When I came back, there was this weird tension between Marvin and Yakko...

_(He smiles)_

But whatever, "Survivor" wasn't going to ruin my picnic...

* * *

_(Cut back to the scene several minutes later. YAKKO, MARVIN, K-9, and WAKKO are lain out on the BLANKET staring up at the SKY, maroon with the eclipsed moon glowing in the center. There's a long silence. Nobody speaks. MARVIN glances over at YAKKO and glares)_

MARVIN

You're not going to talk until I leave, are you?

YAKKO

Took you awhile…

_(MARVIN glares. He gets up and exits, guiding K-9 away on his LEASH._

WAKKO

So yeah…I'm sorry about Dot...

_(YAKKO starts to laugh)_

What're you chuckling at?

YAKKO

_(Laughing)_

_Psssh._ We're losing now? Since when has that ever happened?

WAKKO

(Laughing with him)

Well…it did...

_(They stop laughing. Awkward pause. They lay there in silence)_

YAKKO

So...she made her exit funny right?

WAKKO

Huh?

YAKKO

Yeah, what'd Dot do? How'd she stick it to these losers? What was the punchline?

WAKKO

She just...got voted out.

YAKKO

Why?

WAKKO

Because I couldn't save her...

_YAKKO_

Well, that's not very funny...

WAKKO

(Quickly)

So, uh, what are we going to do? Are we planning revenge? Dropping anvils on people, stuffing dynamite down their pants-

YAKKO

_(Swinging his arm around WAKKO)_

Well, these people _did_ send me home. We've got to get creative here, little sibling...

WAKKO

(Concerned)

How so?

YAKKO

You're going to humiliate Dodger for me...

WAKKO

Is that all you care about?

YAKKO

Huh?

WAKKO

I've...I've made it to the end! With no help from anyone else, without doing any toon stuff, without, like, harassing anybody, or humiliating them-

YAKKO

Well, of course you made it to the end-

WAKKO

Well, aren't you _proud_?

_(Pause)_

YAKKO

What the heck are you talking about? I don't get it. We're not _good _enough for you now?

WAKKO

No, that's not what-

YAKKO

You're a big TV star now? What, you can't mess around anymore? You can't be one of us? We came on this show for fun!

WAKKO

I'm sorry! Sometimes…sometimes you can be yourself; sometimes you can run around and have fun and annoy people and nothing matters Yakko, but sometimes you can't!

YAKKO

_Why not?_

WAKKO

_(Snapping)_

Because...you'll just end up looking stupid, that's why!

_(YAKKO stares at WAKKO. Then he looks away from him, staring at the PICNIC BLANKET. YAKKO looks very hurt. WAKKO stares off into space, shocked at what he's just said. There's a short silence)_

YAKKO

_(Finally speaking)_

Are you embarrassed by me?

WAKKO

_(After a moment)_

I love you…

YAKKO

But are you embarrassed?

WAKKO

It's both...

YAKKO

Do you really think you can win?

WAKKO

Do you even _want_ me to?

YAKKO

Would you try anyway?

WAKKO

_(After a moment)_

Yes.….

(Pause)

Y'know…this is probably the first time I've ever heard you speechless…

YAKKO

(Laughing weakly)

Ehh...I don't know.

WAKKO

He's going home, Yakko.

YAKKO

_(Quickl_y)

Well, we don't have to _joke _about it, little buddy. Like, if there's anything you want to talk about with me—

WAKKO

Yakko—

YAKKO

If you want my input - like, about the game, what you're doing - anything at all. I mean…I leave for three weeks; you're all grown up— wow—

_(WAKKO smiles and reaches down to the PICNIC BLANKET. He picks up a bowl of GUACAMOLE. He stands up and dump it all over YAKKO's head. YAKKO is shocked)_

WAKKO

Correction: we're _never_ going to grow up…

YAKKO

Did you just instigate a food war?

_(YAKKO and WAKKO begin to lob FOOD at each other, messing around. MARVIN reenters with K-9. He glares at them from the sidelines)_

MARVIN

I like you, K-9. You're intelligent company…

K-9

&amp;&amp;*^&amp;^&amp;#%&amp;

_(Cut to YAKKO in a confessional)_

YAKKO

I think Wak's in a tight position. If he votes out Marvin and Dodge, he gets to the Final Four…and I'm pretty sure he's got a pretty clean sweep. But…that doesn't mean I'm not going to take some _precautions_ here…

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. YAKKO sits crouched over the PICNIC BLANKET. WAKKO, MARVIN, and K-9 have wandered off elsewhere. YAKKO has WAKKO's KNAPSACK open. He is pulling out MUSHROOMS from behind his back - using his "TOON POWERS" - and placing them into the BAG)_

YAKKO

_(Muttering to himself)_

Hallucinogenic mushrooms. Guaranteed to make everyone very, verrrrrry loopy for the challenge tomorrow…

_(MARVIN reenters. He notices YAKKO and observes him)_

MARVIN

Yakko. Magically pulling out vegetables from behind your back?

YAKKO

Yeah, well – it's, like – it's—

MARVIN

Yes. Toon powers. Some toons have the powers to bend reality. They probably made you sign a contract so you couldn't use them…while you were still in this _game_anyway. Now you're not…

YAKKO

Yeah, well…just grabbing some more food. Tasty mushrooms…

MARVIN

Eat them…

YAKKO

I'll pass.

MARVIN

I suppose you're not going to tell Wakko to align with me?

YAKKO

Yeah…right after he jumps into a tank full of razor blades and sharks.

MARVIN

_(Staring at the MUSHROOM in YAKKO's hand)_

I'm not a native of this planet…but do you know what I majored in at the Martian Academy?

YAKKO

Belly dancing?

MARVIN

Botany.

YAKKO

Oh. _That's—_

MARVIN

Plants. Flora. Fauna. Fungi.

YAKKO

I…I know botany...

MARVIN

Could I partake in one of your _mushrooms?_

YAKKO

I mean…knock yourself out…

_(MARVIN takes a MUSHROOM. He starts to sniff it. He inspects the PATTERN on it. YAKKO looks very apprehensive)_

MARVIN

Hmm…interesting pattern here. In fact…I think I've _seen _these before…

YAKKO

_(Snatching the MUSHROOM back)_

You caught me…

MARVIN

Why are you putting hallucinogenic mushrooms into your brother's bag?

YAKKO

Look, look, level with me. You're on the bottom right now. So…what if I tell Wakko to feed these to the _others _before the challenge tomorrow? That way...everyone's all loopy and stuff, y'know? So that way, you both have a chance of winning immunity…

MARVIN

This breaks several_ important_ parts of the contract we signed—

YAKKO

I'm not in the game anymore. It's not like they're going to kill anyone. They're just going to make them… spacy. They'll be wobbling around, seeing things. Come on, remember in the first round? When we tried to off Dodger together? Imagine how different things could have been if we'd worked together…

MARVIN

I probably would have been voted out. You want your brother to win very badly, don't you?

YAKKO

_(After a moment)_

_Yes..._

MARVIN

Well, I'd like to win immunity again tomorrow. You have yourself a deal. I want mushrooms in that bag. I want Wakko to give them to Dodger…

YAKKO

_(Trying to hide his relief)_

I knew you'd wise up!

MARVIN

How do you know Wakko's just not going to eat them?

YAKKO

He hates mushrooms.

_(WAKKO reenters)_

WAKKO

Hey Yakko, we're going to head back to camp now. Thanks for everything…

YAKKO

Anytime, little sibling. But hey, before you leave...you want to take these back to camp?

_(He hands him his KNAPSACK, showing what he's placed inside)_

Mushrooms. Picked them in the desert. I know you can't eat them…but maybe everyone_ else_ could have them for breakfast tomorrow…

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

I thought long and hard about the mushroom thing. On one hand, it could have greatly improved my odds at the immunity challenge tomorrow...especially since Dodger's been riding my tail every time I've won immunity.

_(He pauses for a moment)_

But on the other hand…making everyone sick just to get to the end…that doesn't sit right for me...

_(Cut to YAKKO and WAKKO folding up the PICNIC BLANKET together. MARVIN observes them, making sure they're not paying attention. MARVIN reaches down and picks up WAKKO's KNAPSACK. He reaches into his OWN BAG and pulls out a SATCHEL. He proceeds to cut a HOLE in the bottom of WAKKO's bag)_

MARVIN

I cut a hole in the bag. That way, they'll all just fall out before we get back to camp. Less on my conscience. Less to care about…

_(Cut to several minutes later. MARVIN and WAKKO are walking back to CAMP, side-by-side. Behind WAKKO, every so often, a MUSHROOM falls out of his BAG._

_MARVIN notices and smiles)_

* * *

_(Cut back to the center of camp. There are several PINATAS scattered around, leftover from the challenge)_

_CADPIG sits holding a COURAGE PINATA in her arms, stroking it, trying to stay calm. RITA stands nearby. She has tied a NORBERT PINATA to a TREE and is whacking it with a STICK)_

CADPIG

Rita, what are you doing?

RITA

Taking out my aggression. What are _you_ doing?

CADPIG

_(Hugging the COURAGE piñata)_

Soothing my aggression...

RITA

Beat one up. It'll help…

_(RITA holds out a YAKKO PINATA. CADPIG glares and doesn't accept it)_

CADPIG

Violence begets violence.

RITA

Whatever.

_(She tosses the YAKKO PINATA away)_

Y'know...if Wakko flips tonight, you're going to _have_ to play your Idol

CADPIG

_(Squeezing the COURAGE PINATA)_

I'm not objecting to that. However - I _am _objecting to Wakko being a spineless, two-faced little worm with the backbone of tissue paper!

_(She squeezes too hard. The COURAGE PINATA breaks. Sugar pours all over her lap)_

Oh my God. I broke Courage…

RITA

_(Snatching the PINATA)_

He could flip. Come on. _Focus—_

CADPIG

You think I'm going to cry about it?

RITA

You would've cried last week…

CADPIG

Well, last week you didn't _want _to win. What happened there?

RITA

Well, I changed my mind. I don't _know._ People change. I mean - do you think you have? Did you ever feel like…there was something_ wrong_ with you to begin with?

CADPIG

Do _you?_

RITA

Sometimes…

CADPIG

Why are you opening up to me, Rita?

RITA

_(A little annoyed)_

You looked sad.

_(SONIC enters looking upset)_

SONIC

Rita, could we speak really quick? Because I'd hate to tell a certain someone about a certain article of clothing that possibly, just _possibly,_ might have been stolen!

CADPIG

Did you steal Sonic's shoes?!

SONIC

(Amazed)

_Whoa!_ How'd you figure that out?

RITA

_(Quickly)_

No. No—

CADPIG

_(Struggling to stay calm)_

_Rita—_

RITA

_What?_

CADPIG

If you _do _have them...why don't you just get them, leave them in the shelter...and we'll never talk about this again?

_(SONIC and CADPIG stare at RITA, waiting for an answer. She isn't looking at them. She stares out at the FIRE, lost for words)_

RITA

I took them so he wouldn't flip. That's all._ God._

_(She turns to SONIC)_

Your shoes are on the tall cliff with the bush. I left a trail with some fruit scraps. Deal?

SONIC

_Deal…_

_(RITA shakes her head and storms off. SONIC and CADPIG watch as she leaves)_

SONIC

Why are girls so confusing?

CADPIG

_(Trying to smile)_

At least you got them back…

SONIC

But why do people have to, like, steal stuff, dude?

_(He turns to look at the ruined NORBERT PINATA)_

Hey, who decapitated Norb?

CADPIG

Who do you think?

SONIC

She's crazy…

* * *

_(Cut to somewhere out in the DESERT. SONIC is scanning the ground, looking for the TRAIL of FRUIT SCRAPS that RITA mentioned. Two SHADOWS emerge from behind the CLIFF. We see WAKKO and MARVIN enter returning from the PICNIC. They come into SONIC's view and wave to him)_

MARVIN

Hello Sonic. Did anything blow up while we were gone?

SONIC

We're good!

MARVIN

_Too bad._

WAKKO

_(Throwing his arm around SONIC)_

I stocked up on food at the picnic!

SONIC

Sweet! Hope you snagged me a chili dog…

_(SONIC glances over WAKKO's shoulder. He notices a TRAIL of MUSHROOMS leading around the CLIFF. Clearly, these are the ones that fell out of WAKKO's bad. SONIC isn't aware. MARVIN starts to walk ahead, heading back to camp. Before WAKKO can follow him, SONIC pulls him aside)_

SONIC

Hey Wakko…are mushrooms vegetables or fruits?

WAKKO

Uhhh…why?

SONIC

I was wondering…

WAKKO

A fruit has seeds…

SONIC

Well, catch you later…

_(WAKKO smiles and walks off. SONIC glances around, a little apprehensive for some reason. He glances down at the first HALLUCINOGENIC MUSHROOM. He shrugs. He reaches down and picks it up, popping it into his mouth. Then he starts following the TRAIL)_

* * *

_(Cut to DODGER standing by the CAMPFIRE. He holds the BASEBALL CAP that TETO gave him at the FAMILY VISIT. The fire crackles in his face, lighting up his eyes. He looks very upset)_

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

I could have gotten rid of Cadpig earlier...

_(He pauses for a moment)_

Maybe I could have offed Wakko….

_(Another pause)_

Call me whatever-you-want…but _don't_ call the Dodge a quitter. I'm locked out of the finals …but if it means my friends don't have to munch on raw hot dog links every night…I'm ready to run through hell and back…

_(Cut back to the scene. DODGER reaches out and holds the HAT over the FIRE. For some reason, he seems to consider dropping it into the flames)_

_(Cut back to the confessional)_

DODGER

I did this weird thing with the hat Teto gave me. I just…looking at it, picturing everyone at home…it got me stressed. I can't think about making any more mistakes...so…I was considering just torching the hat.

_(He rolls his eyes, annoyed with himself_)

It's weird. I just...I wanted to _prove _that...I didn't need to keep thinking about my gang all the time…

_(Cut back to the scene. DODGER frowns. He takes a deep breath and draws the HAT away from the FIRE)_

_(Cut back to the confessional)_

DODGER

…But I see things for what they are. And right now…I'm seeing a long, hard fight to see the sun rise

_(Cut to DODGER watching as WAKKO and MARVIN return to CAMP. They wave at RITA and CADPIG, who are sitting nearby. DODGER frowns at WAKKO in particular)_

_(Cut back to the confessional)_

_DODGER_

I've got a plan to save myself. It's a little criminal…but lock me up. Throw away the key…

* * *

_(Cut to the POND. CADPIG is washing off in the WATER. DODGER sits on the shore beside her, engaging her in a conversation)_

DODGER

Hey Cadpig - _hey -_ what would you say if I thought Wakko _liked_ you?

CADPIG

_(Glaring at him)_

Just say it...

DODGER

Say what…?

CADPIG

What you're implying there. Say it-

DODGER

Well...you read Courage pretty well, didn't you?

CADPIG

_(Snapping)_

STOP FUTZING MY BOAT!

DODGER

You _know_ what happened last time someone liked you…

_(WAKKO enters. DODGER winks at CADPIG and exits. CADPIG stiffens up and struggles to smile)_

WAKKO

HUG ME, CADPIG!

CADPIG

What happened with Yakko?

WAKKO

I was defiant! _"HALT! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"_

CADPIG

You _stood _up to him?

WAKKO

He wasn't even mad! Hey, hey! Maybe when the game's over, you can come back to our water tower to hang out. I mean, like, maybe _you,_ Courage, um— who else-

CADPIG

(Frowning)

Wait, wait – why...why are you inviting me back to your house?

_(Awkward pause)_

WAKKO

It's not a house; it's a water tower—

CADPIG

I'm just...surprised…

WAKKO

Why?

CADPIG

_(Quickly)_

Isn't that...isn't that a lot of people to invite?

WAKKO

Well…I don't think Timon would come...

_(Pause. He notices that CADPIG looks frightened)_

Cadpig, are you okay?

CADPIG

No. No. Just…y'know, the usual.

_(Awkward pause. She seems very uneasy)_

Hey, I'm going to go do some yoga. Meditate for awhile. I actually remembered this one technique…you stick your leg behind your head – and -well, I mean, it only works if you're a quadruped though, so I don't know if you'd be able to—

WAKKO

I can turn into a quadraped!

CADPIG

_Cool._

WAKKO

I pretend I'm a dog sometimes so—

CADPIG

Okay – but I want to be alone. I want to achieve Nirvana. _Alone…_

WAKKO

Are you sure?

CADPIG

Yes! The vote's figured out anyway. _Dodger._ Go...go tell the others about your water tower party...

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional. He looks very confused)_

WAKKO

Um, girls? Well…I'm into this really pretty nurse that works at the Warner Brothers studio, but other than that…I don't like anyone. Who the heck told you I liked anybody?

* * *

_(Cut to the center of CAMP. WAKKO is feeding LEAVES into the FIRE. RITA creeps up beside him. She looks very worried)_

RITA

Wakko, can you do me a favor? Sonic went out to look for his shoes like an hour ago. He hasn't come back…

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

Sonic disappeared on us. I mean, the vote was pretty clean-cut for Dodger. Nobody was worrying that much, but…I mean, considering I'm the one who stole the shoes, and hid them on top of the hill...I was kind of losing it thinking about him…

_(Cut to RITA and WAKKO in the DESERT. WAKKO holds a FLASHLIGHT. They scan the area for SONIC)_

RITA

It's all my fault, it's all my fault—

WAKKO

It's _not._

RITA

Yeah, well, tell me that when he's been, like, bitten by a scorpion, or-

_(WAKKO points out in the DESERT. SONIC is leaning against a ROCK, looking delirious. RITA and WAKKO exchange looks. They run up beside him)_

RITA

Sonic? What the hell?

_(She notices the trail of MUSHROOMS leading around the ROCK)_

I told you to follow the _fruit_ trail. Not the mushrooms. What is this?

_(WAKKO notices a MUSHROOM on the ground. He picks it up, inspecting it, holding it close to his mouth. RITA swats it out of his hand)_

RITA

Wait Wakko, stop, stop –

WAKKO

I'm not! I hate mushrooms! I don't even know where these came from!

RITA

Sonic, talk to me. I'm sorry I called you annoying. Please, wake up. Please…

_(SONIC rubs his head and yawns. He glances at RITA. His eyes are dazed. Something is very off)_

SONIC

_"Are you guys looking for Sonic too?"_

RITA

Huh?

SONIC

"_Let me know if you find him!"_

RITA

You are Sonic.

SONIC

_"I'm his friend Tails."_

RITA

You're Sonic.

SONIC

_"I'm Tails."_

RITA

Oh my God, he had a mental breakdown!

_(MARVIN steps out)_

MARVIN

Ah, so we're able to speak again. _Cute…_

RITA

What did you do to Sonic?

MARVIN

_(Shaking his head)_

You people always seek out to blame me for everything. _Relax_. I _know _what happened. These are special hallucinogenic mushrooms. They have varying effects on the brain. In Sonic's case, it seems like they caused a personality shift. The hallucinogens have caused him to _think he's somebody else._ Of course, it's perfectly temporary. He should be back to his old self in a few minutes…

RITA

Then what are _you _doing here, Marvin?

MARVIN

Enjoying it. This is funny.

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

Regular hallucinogenic mushrooms don't shift your personality. There's side effects here...toon side-effects, because Yakko pulled them out from behind his back with his powers. But right now, there's no point in incriminating Wakko for it..

_(Cut back to the scene. SONIC is wandering in circles, calling his own name. RITA and WAKKO watch)_

SONIC

_"Sonic? Sonic? My jet plane crashed. Where are you, buddy?"_

_(WAKKO picks up a MUSHROOM again. RITA looks over. She is shocked)_

RITA

What are you doing?

WAKKO

Eating…

RITA

Stop.

MARVIN

What is it you Earthlings teach your offspring? "Hugs not drugs?"

RITA

Can you please, like – rationalize what you're doing?

WAKKO

_(Trying to smile)_

Everyone's freaking out about the game. We're all losing our minds, guys. I mean, I don't know about _you,_ but I've had a good day out here. Let's get a little silly, all right? I want to see what happens...

MARVIN

I'd advise you _not _to eat that…

WAKKO

Look, look, does this _really_ stress you guys out so much?

RITA &amp; MARVIN

_Yes._

WAKKO

(Rolling his eyes)

Fine. Ugh. Whatever. You win…

_(WAKKO walks away from MARVIN and RITA. They stand and watch SONIC call out his own name, walking in circles. WAKKO glances around, making sure the OTHERS aren't looking. He smiles and pops the MUSHROOM into his mouth. He chews for a moment._

_First, nothing happens._

_Then, his eyes light up like SONIC's. They spin around for a moment. His face seems dazed. Then a familiar smirk spreads across his face. He takes off his HAT. He reaches down like he's adjusting an invisible belt. Then he walks back to the OTHERS)_

WAKKO

_(In a voice similar to YAKKO's)_

_"HELLLLLLOOOO TRIBEMATES!"_

RITA

_(Rubbing her face)_

Oh my God, I'm done with this crap...

WAKKO

_"Hey, hey, I sense a disturbance here...or is that just you guys glad to see me?"_

RITA

You come back for the visit; now you're in your brother's body!

_(She shakes WAKKO back and forth)_

GET OUT, YAKKO! HE DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU!

_(WAKKO spins RITA around. He throws her into a seductive tango position. MARVIN watches, enjoying every minute of this – even if part of him seems disturbed to see WAKKO acting like his brother)_

WAKKO

_"You're right! The night belongs to both of us!"_

_(RITA steps on WAKKO's foot, crushing it. He yelps and jumps off. RITA steps away, dusting herself off)_

MARVIN

Strange. You usually vote men out when you're done dancing with them…

RITA

I'm going back to _camp..._

_(RITA storms away. WAKKO starts to follow her)_

WAKKO

_"Awww, what's wrong? Playing hard to get?"_

RITA

Call an exorcist, Wakko….

WAKKO

_"Wakko! Hey! Where is the little clown?"_

_(DODGER and CADPIG enter from around the ROCK, wondering where everyone is. "WAKKO" smiles at them, especially CADPIG)_

WAKKO

_"Giving me the cold shoulder, Rita? Psssh. I see how it is. I've got other options…."_

DODGER

_(Calling out to the OTHERS)_

Hey guys, secret meetings are cool - but maybe closer to camp?

WAKKO

_(Locking eyes on CADPIG)_

"_Option two.…"_

CADPIG

What…?

_(WAKKO crosses over swiftly to CADPIG. WAKKO swings her into an embrace. He raises his eyebrows. He makes sure RITA is watching._

_Then, he leans down and smooches her right in the mouth._

_CADPIG is lost for words – so is everyone else._

_Then, CADPIG kicks WAKKO hard in the groin)_

_WAKKO_

_OUCCCCCCHHHH!_

_(WAKKO stumbles to the ground. His eyes change back to normal. He looks around, dazed, confused, wondering what happened. He blinks. Then, very quickly, it all comes rushing back to him)_

_WAKKO_

(Horrified)

Oh my God…I _didn't…_

MARVIN

Is that_ you_ in there, Wakko?

WAKKO

_(Horrified)_

OH MY GOD! IT WASN'T ME! PLEASE! WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

_(CADPIG lays on the ground, having fallen down after kicking WAKKO. She stares out into space, traumatized by what's just happened. DODGER kneels down beside her)_

DODGER

Say something. Talk…

CADPIG

(Finally speaking)

It…it happened _again._

DODGER

Cadpig-

CADPIG

(Wailing)

IT'S A CYCLLLLLLEEEEE!

* * *

_(Cut to everyone gathered around the FIRE._

_Nobody is speaking. The air is very, very tense. Everyone glares at WAKKO, waiting for him to say something. CADPIG sits on the other side of the FIRE in a huff, arms folded. She refuses to look at WAKKO)_

WAKKO

It wasn't me…

CADPIG

I _know_—

WAKKO

Well, stop blaming me then!

MARVIN

(Very impatient)

The mushrooms altered your personality into believing you were someone else. Wakko was under no control of his behavior. He wasn't himself. Now - can we please stop this?

SONIC

(Raising his hand)

Hey guys, can I just offer some input?

MARVIN, WAKKO, RITA, CADPIG, &amp; DODGER

_No._

SONIC

I remember_ being_ Tails. Like, it wasn't like Sonic disappeared…completely. Part of me was there, dude…

_(Pause)_

CADPIG

What do you mean?

SONIC

For Wakko to do something that…_impulsive—_

WAKKO

_(Very scared)_

_Okay._ I think...the mushroom turned you into somebody that would have made things…better for you. Y'know? It turned you into somebody you_ like._ Sonic didn't have his friend at his loved ones visit. Right? _He _turned into Tails. And I was still reeling from seeing my brother today…so…I turned into Yakko-

DODGER

_(A little uneasy)_

That doesn't explain the kiss…

WAKKO

_(Frantic)_

Well - I'm getting to that. So - there was nothing inside me that, like…actually wanted to kiss her. Okay? My brother's a ladies man, guys. He's _like_ that. Sometimes in this game, I kept thinking what Yakko would do. I wished Yakko was here to help me. That's all. So with the mushroom, my brain just…decided it wanted to be my brother! I don't know! Yakko does that stuff! I'd never do that to her!

_(Short silence. Nobody says anything)_

_Okay?_

SONIC

_(After a moment)_

_Fine…._

RITA

_Fine._

DODGER

Fine…

MARVIN

_Fine…_

WAKKO

_(Glancing at CADPIG)_

Cadpig? Please?

_(CADPIG glances over at WAKKO. She looks at him weakly. She doesn't say anything. She just nods her head, staring out into space. WAKKO groans outload. He takes his HAT and buries his face in it)_

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional. She looks very conflicted)_

_CADPIG_

I could ignore it. I could forgive him...

_(She pauses for a moment. She closes her eyes, looking upset with herself)_

_However_…on the other hand…guilt is a very, very powerful thing...

* * *

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

_DODGER_

So my original plan was just to turn Wakko and Cadpig against each other. I was just sticking bugs in their ears, y'know? I didn't mean any harm. I just...wanted to see what I could do to save myself. Then _this_ happened. So...let's play with dynamite...

_(Cut to the center of camp, about half an hour later. CADPIG now holds the STICK that RITA was using earlier. She whacks the YAKKO PINATA over and over, pummeling it against a TREE. _

_DODGER walks in beside her. He looks surprised, a little disturbed. Then he clears his throat. CADPIG doesn't respond)_

DODGER

Guess you're pretty popular around here...

CADPIG

_(Not looking at DODGER)_

He didn't mean it...

DODGER

Are you sure?

_CADPIG_

(Spinning around)

Didn't I tell you to stop talking to—

DODGER

Okay! Okay! Don't mean to bug you..

_(He notices COURAGE's BROKEN PINATA on the ground)_

Hey, why'd you break Courage's piñata?

CADPIG

You're going home tonight._ Goodbye._

_(CADPIG storms off. DODGER watches her. A moment's silence. CADPIG returns. She picks up the ruined remains of the COURAGE PINATA. Then she exits again in a huff)_

* * *

_(Cut to somewhere out in the DESERT. MARVIN stands beside the WELL, pulling up a BUCKET of WATER. The IMMUNITY NECKLACE is hanging around his neck. DODGER stands beside him, looking very anxious)_

DODGER

What do you have to swear on, Marvin? I want your _word._

MARVIN

I could swear on my dog? Maybe? But I'm not going to pledge my friend's life for the sake of a reality show..

DODGER

_(Closing his eyes)_

Well...if you keep me around tonight, I won't cut you until the Final Three...

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

Dodger's turned into a little puppy. His confident swagger has been lost to a pair of eyes pleading for me to keep him in the game. I've detached myself from any concern for him. At all. Really, if you're going to believe Dodger…you might as well just write your name down at Council...

_(He pauses for a moment)_

Still...I don't want to get rid of him - not yet. In my case, there's actually a bigger target. It's _Wakko._ He's actually won challenges...

_(Cut back to the scene)_

DODGER

Whoever wins the final three challenge goes to the finals with Rita_...right?_

MARVIN

Who's to say Rita?

DODGER

Do you _want a_ million dollars?

MARVIN

Why not Cadpig?

DODGER

_(Very fast)_

_No._

MARVIN

That was quick.

DODGER

I'm bringing Rita...

MARVIN

I sense no love between you two...

DODGER

That's because I flipped on Cadpig! You know that! I flipped after I vowed to protect her and Courage and now she hates me! I'm not going to let her _milk_ that-

MARVIN

_(Smiling at him)_

Well...if you promise to take me to the Final Three...then I won't let that happen...

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

Marvin says he's going to try to protect me from Cadpig if she tries anything. So...that's _that._ I'm a full-grown dog, I lead a gang. I'm being poached on by a little Dalmatian and protected by a guy...who looks like a bug. Part of me's still here, guys. I've just got to find out where it went...

* * *

_(Cut to the large CLEARING near CAMP, surrounded by HILLS and CLIFFS. RITA is walking through the DESERT, arms crossed, looking very annoyed. SONIC follows her. He still doesn't have his SHOES)_

RITA

Okay, Sonic. _Okay._ Your shoes are at the top of that cliff...

_(RITA points up. SONIC's SHOES are dangling from a THORNY BUSH at the TOP of a CLIFF. SONIC glances up. He gulps)_

SONIC

I have to climb up there alone?

RITA

What's wrong? Scared of heights? What happened to the "Blue Wonder?"

SONIC

He's getting blisters on his feet because of you. Move out of the way...

_(SONIC shoves RITA out of the way. He starts to scale the CLIFF, wobbling, making his way to the top. RITA watches him, looking apprehensive. She bites her nails. It takes a moment before she calls out to him)_

_RITA_

Y'know Sonic, I didn't know they were _that_ important to you-

SONIC

That's a laugh...

RITA

Can you please be careful up there?

SONIC

It's not so hard to say sorry. I don't see why that's so difficult for you...

_(SONIC reaches the top of the CLIFF, struggling to pull himself up. Suddenly, the SAME VULTURE as before - the one that stole his SHOES - lands down beside the BUSH. It eyes SONIC carefully, ready to strike. SONIC struggles to back away)_

_SONIC_

Nice birdy...nice birdy...

_RITA_

_(Unaware)_

Sonic, what's going on?

_(SONIC glances at his SHOES. He locks eyes with the VULTURE, taunting it. He moves his hand. The VULTURE caws, inching forward a little. SONIC stops moving for a moment. Then, very quickly, he reaches out and snatches his SHOELACES. The VULTURE moves at the same time. They end up fighting over them)_

_SONIC_

_GIVE IT!_

_(SONIC yanks hard. He goes tumbling off the CLIFF, bouncing down the HILL. The VULTURE stays with him, shrieking, unwilling to let go._

_SONIC tumbles into the DIRT at the bottom, struggling to tear his SHOES out of the BIRD'S BEAK. RITA stands beside him, shocked, mesmerized)_

RITA

Sonic! You're going to hurt yourself...

_(The VULTURE breaks away with SONIC's shoes. However, its wings seem injured. It flaps away a few feet above the GROUND, struggling to get away. SONIC stands up, bloody, cut-up. He glares)_

_SONIC_

Oh, I don't need my shoes to take you out, buck beak. Get over here...

_(SONIC dashes across the DESERT. Suddenly, all at once, he's fast again - even without his SHOES. He makes a flying grab for the SHOES. He misses. The VULTURE flaps on. SONIC regains his footing. He goes to make another grab..._

_Then suddenly, RITA runs into the frame. She corners the BIRD. She jumps on it. She wrestles it into the ground, tearing at SONIC's SHOES)_

_RITA_

Down! Down! Let go of his shoes...

_(SONIC sees the BIRD is weakened. He dives forward, shoving RITA out of the way. She goes flying, stumbling backwards)_

SONIC

DOWN! DOWN! LET GO OF MY SHOES!

_(SONIC rips his SHOES back and kicks the BIRD. It shrieks and ambles off, flapping behind a BOULDER)_

SONIC

VICTORY IS SONIC'S!

_(SONIC holds his SNEAKERS, caressing them to his CHEST. He glances over across the DESERT. He sees RITA lying in a heap, her face buried in the ground. She isn't moving. SONIC frowns. He hurries over)_

SONIC

Rita? Why'd you run over to help?

RITA

_(Quietly)_

I'm...I'm just glad you got them back...

_(SONIC glances at the ground. He sees that one of RITA's sharp TEETH have fallen out in the scuffle. SONIC picks it up and shows it to her)_

SONIC

You lost one of your teeth...

RITA

What?

SONIC

Here, you're bleeding. Here, take this.

_(SONIC takes off his BUFF. He hands it to RITA, who presses it against her mouth)_

RITA

I'm just glad you're back to your old self...

SONIC

I guess...I didn't need my shoes to be fast after all. Look, like, are you sure you're okay? Are you positive?

RITA

Thank you for caring...

SONIC

At least you'll look tough now, right? When you go back into the streets?

RITA

I...I'm not as tough as I've said I was...

SONIC

_(Smiling)_

Of course you are! You've had fights in homeless shelters; you've had brawls in the street-

RITA

No. .I made all that up...

_(Pause)_

SONIC

What?

RITA

I made all my stories up. I...I wanted you guys to like me.

_(She pauses for a moment)_

I live...in and out of homeless shelters. But...there's nothing brave about me. I'm kind of a loser...

_(She stares down at the FANG in SONIC's hand. She forces a quiet laugh)_

Now I even look like one...

_(SONIC frowns. He scratches his chin. He examines his SHOES for a moment. Then he smiles. He stands up. Then he spins his SHOES around, swinging them by the LACES. He chucks them across the DESERT)_

RITA

Sonic, what're you doing?

SONIC

Your turn...

RITA

Huh?

SONIC

_(Smiling)_

I don't need my shoes to be fast. You don't need your fang to look tough... Toss it...

_(RITA glances down at the FANG in SONIC's hand. Gingerly, she accepts it. She holds it in her PALM for a second. Then, with a deep breath, she chucks it. It goes flying across the DESERT. SONIC turns to RITA. He swings his arm around her, pulling her into a hug. RITA allows it)_

_(Cut to SONIC in a confessional)_

SONIC

I mean...I guess I have my mojo back...

* * *

_(Cut to CADPIG standing in the middle of CAMP. She is chopping up FIREWOOD with an AX. WAKKO approaches behind her. He holds a CAKE in his arms. There is a bad drawing of CADPIG and WAKKO smiling on it in ICING, as well as the word "SORRY.")_

WAKKO

I baked you a cake...

CADPIG

What?

WAKKO

It's...an apology cake. See? I made_ us._..in icing...

CADPIG

Did you pull that out from behind your _back? _I don't want it!

WAKKO

_(Placing the CAKE down)_

Please...don't hold any of this against me...

CADPIG

Oh, sorry, let me turn around after being smooched and pledge the rest of my life to you-

WAKKO

We were _fine_ with each other. You had my back! I had yours! Why are you getting flaky now? Do you really believe I was jumping off of the Courage crap to get closer to you? I thought you were smarter than that...

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional. She looks very upset)_

CADPIG

Maybe Wakko was my friend. Maybe not...but…when he was asking where my loyalty was, I couldn't take the_ risk._ He could have been using me. He could have been...trying to mess with my head about the kiss so I'd stay loyal to him going forward. So...I decided to turn the tables on him.

_(Cut back to the scene. CADPIG smiles at WAKKO, but she seems very uncomfortable. She edges closer to him)_

CADPIG

So...are you _sure_ there was nothing in that kiss?

WAKKO

Uh…what?

CADPIG

_(Stepping closer)_

I mean, it's like Sonic said; part of you was still _there._ I know we were friends...but...I was just…I was starting to sense something else...

WAKKO

_(Frightened)_

Were we _more _than friends?

CADPIG

_(Flirtatious)_

Maybe...I did kind of _like_ you...

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional. She looks very restless)_

CADPIG

I did it. I used it against him...

_(She pauses, gritting her teeth)_

But...I'm blocking it now. All of it. I'll do whatever I need to now to bring that money home...

* * *

_(Cut to the center of CAMP. WAKKO is rummaging through his KNAPSACK, looking very upset. He dumps it upside down. A MUSHROOM falls out. Enraged, WAKKO picks it up to throw it away. Then, he takes a closer look at it...)_

WAKKO

Wait a minute...

_(WAKKO stares at the MUSHROOM. Very slowly, he reaches behind his own BACK. He pulls out an identical MUSHROOM)_

WAKKO

_(Muttering)_

I don't believe it...

_(DODGER creeps in from behind the SHELTER. He sits down besideWAKKO, not even invited. WAKKO tries to hide the MUSHROOM but its too late)_

DODGER

Didn't think you'd be nibbling again on that…

WAKKO

What do you want?

DODGER

(Smiling)

I've been talking to a few people. Cadpig's going to try to_ Idol_ you _out…_

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional. He looks very anxious)_

DODGER

Cadpig's been this, like...this bug riding on my heels. She has an_ Idol._ If she makes it any further, she's just going to cause trouble for me - and please _don't_ pull the babysitting card, all right, cause I ain't got no obligation with that anymore...

_(He sighs and glares at the camera)_

So...I tell Sonic and Rita to vote for Wakko...just in case they tell Cadpig. I make Cadpig think everyone's still voting for me. Then, I rope in Wakko...and Marvin...and we knock out Cadpig _with her Idol..._

* * *

_(Cut to the center of CAMP. DODGER, SONIC, and RITA are gathered around the FIRE together)_

SONIC

(With difficulty)

I mean, I _know_ I gave Wakko immunity last round...

DODGER

(Quickly)

I don't want you to be uncomfortable...

SONIC

Well, _Wakko_ never made me feel comfortable anyway. I don't like what happened today with Cadpig either...

_(He takes a deep breath, a little annoyed)_

So...we…could send Wakko home..

DODGER

_(Relieved)_

Yes...

* * *

_(Cut to DODGER in a confessional)_

DODGER

I got everything in place. I mean, everyone except Marvin...but he has immunity, and he's probably not going to care either way. So...before she leaves tonight, I figured...I'd try to patch things up with Cadpig. Before she goes home...

_(Cut to the center of camp. CADPIG sits on a LOG. She glares out in the distance, watching DODGER approach again from the DESERT. She stands up. She picks up the PINATA STICK. She crosses over to the HEAP of PINATAS lying by some TREES. She stands there, glaring, waiting for DODGER to approach)_

CADPIG

_(Locking eyes with him)_

Hey Dodger...welcome back. You want to whack some _pinatas?_

DODGER

_(Quietly)_

I don't think so...

CADPIG

Let's play with _this_ one...

_(CADPIG picks up another COURAGE pinata. She grins evilly. She proceeds to tie it to a TREE. She holds the BAT out to DODGER, urging him to take it)_

DODGER

Haven't I done Courage enough harm?

_(CADPIG rolls her eyes. She turns to look at the COURAGE PINATA. Without warning, CADPIG takes a deep breath and smacks the PINATA. It doesn't break. She turns back to DODGER and offers him the STICK. She doesn't break eye contact)_

CADPIG

Your turn.

_(DODGER doesn't accept the BAT. Silence)_

You can gather your thoughts, and I'll be here whenever you're ready...

_(DODGER takes a deep breath. He snatches the BAT from CADPIG. He turns to the COURAGE PINATA)_

CADPIG

_Hey batter, batter, hey batter, batter - swing..._

_(DODGER smacks the PINATA hard. It breaks apart. PURPLE SUGAR spills everywhere. CADPIG tries not to wince as COURAGE breaks. She continues to glare at DODGER)_

DODGER

There. Here he is, you nut...

_(He scoops up the remnants of the PINATA)_

_Take him._.. I know you're trying to intimidate me, Cadpig. It's not working...

CADPIG

Then tell me why you came back...

DODGER

_(After a moment)_

If _I'm_ going to leave tonight...I just...I want to get on the same page with you. But I don't know what I can give you though...

CADPIG

_To...?_

DODGER

(_Snapping)_

To show I'm sorry!_ God!_ Is that the word you kids want? Fine! I'm "sorry" I flipped on you and Courage...but I don't know what I can give you to _show_ it. Do you get it?

CADPIG

You don't have to _give _me anything.

DODGER

Maybe I'm not sorry then...

CADPIG

You're not making any sense.

DODGER

I pity you. I feel bad - but I don't _apologize_. Apologies mean nothing where I come from. I make things up to people when I mess up. If I could, I would. But I can't...

CADPIG

I mean...you can be_ weak_ sometimes_,_ Dodger! Isn't that exhausting?

DODGER

No one cares if you're "sorry!" It doesn't mean anything! I gave you what I could here. I can feel bad..but I can't _apologize..._

_(Pause. CADPIG is lost for words. DODGER closes his eyes, thinking of what to say to her. He stares out at the CAMPFIRE)_

CADPIG

_(After a moment)_

What happened to you when you were younger? You mentioned before-

DODGER

_(A little broken)_

I got abandoned. In a garbage bag. In the Bronx. None of my siblings made it...

_(He pauses for a moment)_

I'm just worried about you, man. I don't see a long life ahead of you. Not in the game. Real life...

CADPIG

That's never stopped me from doing anything...

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

So, while Dodger was giving me his...weird depressing life advice talk...I realized things were a little fishy. Then, I looked down and saw something...and that's when I got an idea.

_(Cut back to the scene. CADPIG glances at the ground and notices WAKKO's BACKPACK. There is a single MUSHROOM poking out. CADPIG takes a deep breath)_

_(Cut back to the confessional)_

_CADPIG_

There was a mushroom on the ground. Wakko said...they turned you into the person you were thinking the _most_ about. So...if I gave one to Dodger, and saw who he_turned into_...maybe I could get information out of him about the vote.

_(Cut back to the scene. CADPIG glances down at the MUSHROOM. Then she looks a few feet away, noticing a BASKET OF FRUIT. She glances at DODGER. He is reflective, looking at the CAMPFIRE, still not looking at her. CADPIG reaches over and grabs a half-eaten WATERMELON. She grabs the SMALL MUSHROOM. She stuffs it into a HOLE in the WATERMELON)_

_CADPIG_

Hey Dodge, there's still some of their watermelon left? You want the last bite?

DODGER

I don't want you to starve..

CADPIG

_Take it, Dodger.._.

_(DODGER rolls his eyes. He takes the piece of WATERMELON. Then he bites into it, effectively swallowing the WATERMELON. CADPIG watches, tense, nervous. Suddenly, DODGER's eyes light up. He looks dazed for a moment. Then they refocus. Suddenly, a very familiar expression is looking back at CADPIG)_

_DODGER_

_(In a voice similar to CADPIG)_

_"WHAT? Who are you? Why do you look like me?"_

CADPIG

"Huh? Is that _you._..Cadpig?"

DODGER

_"Yo, were we Siamese Twins or something man man, because this is some freaky stuff right here; I'm freaking out..."_

CADPIG

I'm...I'm your conscience.

DODGER

_"What?"_

CADPIG

It's me! Your conscience. I've...I've come to you in your time of need!"

DODGER

_"Well, you came pretty late! I got voted out of "Survivor tonight!"_

CADPIG

What? By _who?_

DODGER

_"Dodger, Wakko, and Marvin - so tell me, while I was scrambling last night, where was my "conscience?" "_

_(DODGER blinks for a moment. He glances around uncertainly. It seems like the effects of the MUSHROOM are wearing off)_

DODGER

Huh? What happened?

CADPIG

Um Cadpig, look over there-

_(CADPIG sees her chance. Without thinking, she reaches down and grabs the PINATA STICK they were using earlier. She whacks DODGER in the head with it. DODGER falls to the ground in a daze. Terrified, CADPIG hurries to his side, trying to rouse him)_

DODGER

_(Returning to normal)_

What...what happened?

CADPIG

You hit your head. You've been out for fifteen minutes.

DODGER

I got to go lie down. Can you help me up?

CADPIG

Here...

_(CADPIG helps DODGER to his feet. DODGER crosses over to the SHELTER. CADPIG tries to help him lie down. DODGER smiles at her weakly)_

DODGER

You going to talk to Courage when the games over?

CADPIG

It depends...

DODGER

_(Wincing a little)_

You should. Take care of people, Cad. You don't know when you're going to lose them...

* * *

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

Every ally I've ever had is trying to vote for me. Wakko wants me out. Dodger wants me out...

_(She pauses, clenching her fists)_

But I've blamed myself enough. You can't be _"sorry."_ You have to do something about it...

_(Cut to a few minutes later. CADPIG stands in front of the CAMPFIRE with an ARMFUL of MUSHROOMS)_

_CADPIG_

GOODBYE CARTOON MUSHROOMS OF EVIL! I BANISH YOU TO THE NETHERWORLD!

_(CADPIG proceeds to dump all the MUSHROOMS into the FIRE)_

_(Cut back to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

I have a choice tonight. Everyone thinks I'm _not_ playing my Idol. They think I'm voting for Dodger. I could Idol out Wakko...but on the other hand, Wakko's the only one who could actually beat Marvin in puzzles going forward. Between them...Dodger's also played the better game...

_(She takes a deep breath. She glares at the camera)_

I can't make this decision with my heart...

* * *

_(Cut to somewhere off in the DESERT. MARVIN kneels on the ground, building some kind of CONTRAPTION. He holds a BROKEN PIECE of GLASS and a long PLANK of WOOD. CADPIG walks up behind him)_

_CADPIG_

Marvin, what're you doing?

MARVIN

Building a telescope. I'm safe tonight...

CADPIG

You didn't even _try_ to save Dodger tonight, did you?

MARVIN

_(Rolling his eyes)_

What do you think?

_(The camera pans over. DODGER is about one-hundred feet away. He waves to MARVIN, singling that he wants to speak to him. He starts to approach. Very quickly, CADPIG pulls MARVIN into a huddle)_

CADPIG

Listen, before he talks to you...I have a plan...

* * *

_(Cut to TRIBAL COUNCIL. The SIX REMAINING CONTESTANTS enter with their TORCHES. They lay them down against the RACK and take their respective spots on the BENCH. The HOST stands on his usual podium, waiting for them to settle)_

HOST

Welcome, Final Six...to one of our final Tribal Councils...only two more eliminations after this before the finals. You guys ready to vote? Wakko...you're _up._

_(Cut to WAKKO in the VOTING BOOTH)_

WAKKO

I lost any respect for you today when you tried to guilt-trip me. Go home.

_(Cut to SONIC in the VOTING BOOTH)_

SONIC

I ate a mushroom, turned into my best friend, and fought a bird. Just another day here. Bye Wakko...

_(Cut to RITA in the VOTING BOOTH. She is missing a tooth now and looks bizarre)_

RITA

I'm voting Wakko because I think he's had too much power recently and he's a threat to win...

_(Cut to MARVIN in the VOTING BOOTH)_

MARVIN

Cadpig told me about her plan. I'm behind it completely, since there's no consequence on my part. She doesn't realize I'm going to reap the benefits...

_(Cut to CADPIG in the VOTING BOOTH)_

CADPIG

You tried to be my mentor out here...but it's time I teach you a lesson. You're not as bad as I made you out to be...

_(Cut to DODGER in the VOTING BOOTH. He has a bandage on his head. He looks very groggy)_

DODGER

If this means anything...

_(He pauses for a moment)_

_"I'm sorry..."_

* * *

_(Cut back to the CENTER AREA. DODGER looks very uncomfortable. He shuts his eyes, rubbing his paws together. WAKKO doesn't look much better. CADPIG bites her nails, trying not to look at the OTHERS. MARVIN, like always, is unreadable. SONIC and RITA are the only ones who seem more or less relaxed)_

_(The HOST exits the HALLWAY with the VOTING URN. He takes his place on the PODIUM)_

_HOST_

If anyone has a hidden immunity idol and wants to play it, now would be the time to do so...

_(A short silence. CADPIG sighs and reaches into her BACKPACK. DODGER and WAKKO look panicked. MARVIN seems amused. SONIC and RITA seem confused, wondering if she's about to waste it)_

CADPIG

Hey, I know I'm a target tonight, but if our plan panned out, I don't need to play it on myself. There's two big threats up for grabs, and I'd like to see the bigger one go home tonight. Wakko...take this and don't ask questions-

WAKKO

_(Stammering)_

_What?_ I...I don't want it-

CADPIG

No! It's pretty! It's shiny! It'll look _great_ on you!

_(CADPIG tosses the IDOL into WAKKO's lap. She sits down, rubbing her hands together. Through all this however, she doesn't smile)_

_HOST_

This is indeed a hidden immunity Idol. All votes cast for Wakko will not count. I will now read the votes. Interestingly enough, this means every Idol in this game was used to save _somebody else. _Anyway...I will now read the votes...

* * *

**FIRST VOTE**

**CADPIG**

**SECOND VOTE**

**CADPIG**

**THIRD VOTE**

**WAKKO (doesn't count)**

**FOURTH VOTE**

**WAKKO (doesn't count)**

**FIFTH VOTE**

**DODGER**

**SIXTH VOTE**

**DODGER**

* * *

_(Cut to the TRIBES' reactions. _

_RITA and SONIC are dismayed, realizing they were out of the loop. MARVIN nods, having expected this. WAKKO looks humiliated. He regards the IDOL in his lap in embarrassment. DODGER turns to CADPIG, wide-eyed, piecing together what's about to happen)_

DODGER

_For real...?_

CADPIG

_(Quietly)_

It's just a game...

HOST

We have a tie. Two votes Cadpig, two votes Dodger. We will revote. This time, Dodger and Cadpig will _not_ be allowed to vote...

_(Cut to MARVIN in the voting booth. This is the only confessional we see on the revote)_

MARVIN

This took a very, _very_ annoyingly long time...but I'd daresay the payoff was worth it...

_(Cut back to the CENTER AREA. The HOST emerges with the URN again. He smiles weakly at the TRIBE)_

HOST

Take two...

* * *

**FIRST VOTE**

**DODGER**

**SECOND VOTE**

**DODGER**

**THIRD VOTE**

**DODGER**

**FOURTH VOTE**

**DODGER**

**Eleventh person voted out and the fifth member of our Jury...**

**DODGER**

* * *

_(Cut to the TRIBES' reaction. RITA regards CADPIG in shock, impressed at what she did without telling them. SONIC counts with his fingers, frowning, trying to make sense of the vote. WAKKO glares out at the FIRE, gritting his teeth._

_DODGER stares at CADPIG coldly. He waits for some kind of response. She looks back at him, silent, waiting for him to speak first)_

DODGER

_(Very quiet)_

You played me...

HOST

Dodger, time to bring me your torch...

_(DODGER stands up and goes to grab his TORCH. He turns back to the OTHERS. He struggles to smile, but he's clearly upset)_

_DODGER_

Well, I ain't going to leave pouting. Good game. If you ever hit the East Coast, I'll steal you some Broadway tickets from Time Square...

_(DODGER shakes his head. He takes a deep breath and walks over to the HOST. Walking on four legs, he can only carry his TORCH in his TEETH. He jams his TORCH down in the POST)_

HOST

Dodger...the tribe has spoken...

_(The HOST puts out DODGER's TORCH)_

Time for you to go...

_(DODGER glances back weakly at the OTHERS. He tries to make eye contact with CADPIG. For a moment, she seems too frightened to look at him. Then she takes a breath. They lock eyes. DODGER looks a little hurt. He walks off into the darkness)_

CADPIG

_(Glaring at WAKKO)_

So...who did you vote for tonight, Wakko?

HOST

And with that, Final Five. Suddenly, we're in a very interesting position. Marvin, playing as a lone wolf...Cadpig and Wakko, divided...Sonic and Rita, the only real alliance left at this point. The path for some of you is harder than others - but keep in mind: if you want this bad enough, anything can happen...and there are no more Idols to hide behind. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp...

* * *

**VOTE TALLY**

**SONIC voted for WAKKO. On the revote, he voted for DODGER**

**RITA voted for WAKKO. On the revote, she voted for DODGER.**

**CADPIG voted for DODGER. On the revote, she was not allowed to vote.**

**MARVIN voted for DODGER. On the revote, he voted for DODGER.**

**WAKKO voted for CADPIG. On the revote, he voted for DODGER**

**DODGER voted for CADPIG. On the revote, he was not allowed to vote.**

* * *

**A/N: **Well, the bigger they are, the harder they fall...

Dodger was set up for a downfall for a while. I really liked the irony that Cadpig was the one who pulled the trigger. After that whole fiasco where Dodger flipped on her and Courage, it's even more ironic that Courage's original Idol was actually what sent Dodger home.

I think Dodger's game was actually doomed by his social skills. He's super charismatic. He's likable. He probably has some cool stories to tell and can get you to like him. When it comes to actually_ revealing_ his emotions to other people though, and really emphasizing with them on a one-on-one basis - he can't. He probably had a really rough upbringing and just doesn't know how to let his guard down.

I think that was Dodger's fatal flaw. He can't admit weakness. I mean, Marvin's at least capable of saying he made a mistake from time to time. Dodger, on the other hand, inadvertently turned himself him into a _huge_ threat that he didn't need to be. By the end, there was no way he was going to make the finals without going on an immunity run. He should have focused on building up Wakko as a threat earlier on.

So...strategic game? Pretty good. Long-term thinking? Not so much….but living on the streets, it makes sense that Dodger lives more in the "now" anyway.

All in all though, I liked Dodger. I enjoyed writing him. He's an interesting case of someone who was actually a really good person – who, outside of Survivor, would probably give the clothes off his back for you – but he evolved into a "villain" in the context of the game.

I think the game really gave a blow to Dodger's self-esteem. For the first time in his life – or at least, the adult portion of his life – he was in a situation where he was at the bottom. There was no way out. Everybody saw him as a threat. He lacked the ability to relate to them in order to regain their trust. For once, he had to look in the mirror and realize, "Hey, you know what…there actually might be something really wrong with me that I didn't realize."

And there was, Dodger. Now get cracking on that jury speech. :3


	28. Dog Day Afternoon, Part I

_(Cut to the TRIBE returning to CAMP. Everyone stacks their TORCHES against the SHELTER. MARVIN and CADPIG wander off on their own, straying off from the OTHERS. RITA crosses to the FIRE, feeding leaves into it. _

_SONIC and WAKKO are left alone together)_

SONIC

(Breaking the silence)

Y'know that mushroom thing w_as_ kind of planned...on _your_ part too.

WAKKO

You still think_ I_ did it?

SONIC

I don't know. It's your family, dude. You treat everything like a joke...

_(RITA crosses over from the FIRE, dusting her hands off)_

RITA

Hold up, hold up, men tearing each other part - and _I'm_ not in the middle of it. What's going on here?

SONIC

Nothing. It's fine...

WAKKO

You're accusing me! How is it fine?

RITA

Fill me in, please?

SONIC

_(Shaking his head)_

I just don't think it's cool that...there's people here who are actually trying to win, and then you guys come in, and you're like, "Wow, let's mess around with people. That's going to be fun." I just don't think that's right. And stop moping around like you're a victim here...

WAKKO

Okay - I've been _a lot_ of things out here. I've been gullible. I've been short-sighted. But I'm not a victim...

SONIC

Well yeah, but you're a cheater...

RITA

_(Trying to usher SONIC away)_

It's not worth it, Sonic-

SONIC

I just don't think it's fair. I'm _done._ I'm not going to argue anymore...

WAKKO

Okay, have I hurt anyone out here? Have I gone out of my way to laugh at anyone? No. I'm not Yakko. I'm not Dot. But y'know what? You know my brother and sister as much as you know _me_ \- you _don't._ So stop saying I'm some kind of cartoon lunatic. I don't condone what Yakko did. But I'm not Yakko...

_(Pause. RITA and SONIC stare at him, lost for words)_

I'm not going to bother with you people...

_(WAKKO takes of his HAT and storms off)_

RITA

Stop trying to defend the game-

SONIC

I just…I needed to snap at somebody.

RITA

I know. But you looked like an idiot. Look, are you going to apologize?

SONIC

Of course! Yeah! I'm a good person...right?

RITA

I don't know!

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

When girls are angry at each other, they go talk behind each other's backs. When boys are angry at each other, they yell in each other's faces and then mope in the corner to feed their egos...

* * *

_(Cut to MARVIN somewhere off in the DESERT. He is assembling the TELESCOPE that he was working on earlier. He slips a SHARD of GLASS into the WOODEN PIPE, trying to finagle it. CADPIG creeps up behind him. MARVIN notices her but pretends to ignore her)_

CADPIG

_(Breaking the silence)_

Marvin, I have a question for you…

MARVIN

I'm busy. I'm making a telescope.

CADPIG

Hey. Telescope, schmelescope. I've got real ethical concerns here.

MARVIN

I'm going to miss the planet alignments tonight? Do you know anything about_ astronomy?_

CADPIG

I just came to you for some advice...

MARVIN

What is it with you children coming to me for advice? I'm not your Grandpa—

CADPIG

No...but you grumble a lot and talk about things nobody cares about- so you're kind of like our Grandpa-

MARVIN

Would you_ like_ advice?

CADPIG

_(After a moment)_

Okay. How does one…eat from the fruit of wrong-doing?

MARVIN

What?

CADPIG

Y''know...pull the diabolical turnip out of the ground?

MARVIN

What gibberish are you spouting?

CADPIG

_Evil,_ Marvin! How do I…how do I become evil!

MARVIN

Why on Earth would you want to become "evil?"

CADPIG

_(Nervous)_

I don't! I mean -I'm not! Well, I've taken like seven personality test!. It's just…okay, y'know how when you blindside people, you're just, like, super "whatever: about it? I just want to know how to do that. Like, how do you detach yourself like that?

MARVIN

_(After a moment)_

Well, there's a difference between you and me…

CADPIG

What, besides our species?

MARVIN

Yes.

CADPIG

And our gender?

MARVIN

_Yes._ You have friends. I don't have a foundation. So...there's no way for me to feel bad...

CADPIG

Well, that's depressing...

MARVIN

And I'm not evil! Why do you think I'm _evil?_

CADPIG

No, no. I mean...labels are for soup cans—

MARVIN

You used the word "evil—"

CADPIG

Okay, okay! I'm sorry...

(Pause)

MARVIN

I don't choose to not _care_ about people.

CADPIG

Okay...

MARVIN

Do me a favor - _don't_ become evil! Don't even try to! You'll doom your game and get voted out…

CADPIG

_(Changing the subject)_

So…why are you waiting for the planets to align?

MARVIN

No reason.

CADPIG

Maaaaarvin...

MARVIN

Can you keep a secret?

CADPIG

Of course!

MARVIN

I'm going to regret this. But I'll tell you anyway. Tomorrow's…my _birthday..._

CADPIG

SAY WHAT?

MARVIN

Yes, please_ don't_ make a big scene about—

CADPIG

YES, DUDE, YES!

_(She starts singing)_

"_For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow—"_

MARVIN

_Cadpig-—_

CADPIG

Why didn't you tell us? We could have done something for you!

MARVIN

I don't want you to do anything for me. I _never_ celebrate my birthday. Here…what I'm doing is…on my planet, there's this whole field of sonar dishes that shoot out messages into the universe. With my supersonic senses, if I can find the vibrations from my planet out in space...I can see if there's some kind of message for me…

CADPIG

Who are you expecting a message from?

MARVIN

My family…

_(Pause)_

CADPIG

But…Marvin, you said you don't _have_ a family…

MARVIN

_(Stammering)_

I don't. I mean, well, I _do._ I just…every time I have a birthday, I'm just curious if they'll have something to say to me…

CADPIG

That's…even more depressing.

MARVIN

_(Snapping at her)_

Yes, it is. So…are you satisfied now?

CADPIG

Well, Happy Birthday, Marvin…

_(CADPIG rolls her eyes and walks away. MARVIN shakes his head. He glances up at the STARS, looking up at the CONSTELLATIONS. He waits until she's long gone. Then finally, he speaks under his breath)_

MARVIN

Thank you, Cadpig…

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

So, I've come to the conclusion that Marvin's life has all the makings of a soap opera…and like, not even a good soap opera. Probably one that just gets cancelled after one season. But...that's what makes it even sadder…

_(Pause)_

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not going to let my sympathy for Marvin force me into doing something stupid. It's just…if it's his birthday…I'm wondering if there's something nice we can do for him…

* * *

_(Cut to behind the SHELTER. WAKKO kneels in front of a LARGE HOLE in the ground. He looks very upset. He's in the process of using his toon powers to pull out OBJECTS from behind his back, dropping them into the HOLE. The HOLE is full of strange GAG GIFTS - A WHOOPEE CUSHION, SILLY STRING, CHATTERING TEETH, a SQUIRT GUN, ETC._

RITA walks up behind him. She frowns, staring at what he's doing)

RITA

Wakko...what the hell are you doing?

WAKKO

_(Solemnly)_

Burying my sense of humor…

RITA

What?

WAKKO

Yeah, you heard me! If Sonic wants me to cut with the funny stuff, I'm done. I'll just be…boring, whatever! I'll give everyone what they want. There goes my slingshot, there goes my whoopee cushion, my_ personality—_

RITA

Dude, you're losing it. Get a grip…

WAKKO

I have a grip! I...I just don't know if I can trust you.

RITA

Well, you're better trusting me than _Cadpig,_ right?

_(A pause)_

I've heard of over-stepping boundaries, but that kiss-—

WAKKO

You know when you turn up a microwave too high and it blows up?

RITA

Um, you're speaking in parables now?

WAKKO

_(Taking a breath)_

No…but when you mentioned the kiss again, I snapped me out of my rut a little…

RITA

_You're_ a microwave about to blow up?

WAKKO

What are you pitching?

RITA

Okay, first of all, _don't _listen to Sonic.

WAKKO

I'll keep that in mind…

RITA

But you still don't trust me.

WAKKO

I'll trust you when you don't beat around the bush.

RITA

Going forward…Sonic and I would rather roll with _you_ than Cadpig. She just took out the biggest threat in the game. Now, she's actually a threat to win. So...my offer is that if Marvin or Cadpig lose immunity, we vote one of them off…preferably Marvin, _then _Cadpig at Final Four…

WAKKO

_(After a moment)_

So you're making a Final Three deal?

RITA

I don't like how you got quiet there…

WAKKO

I don't know. I smooched her on the lips, I made her hate me…and she still saved me _regardless_ tonight. I'm going to vote her out in cold blood now? That's a lot to stomach...

RITA

You have to make a move. Cut her throat. This isn't crazy, conniving Rita, talking.

WAKKO

Who is it then – cuddly-snuggly Rita?

RITA

I could leave you here with this stupid hole full of gag gifts! What's it going to be?

_(WAKKO glares down at the ground. For a moment, it seems like he's going to argue. Then, he takes a deep breath. He looks back up at RITA with a mischievous smile)_

WAKKO

Okay first, take this...

_(WAKKO reaches behind his BACK. He pulls a can of SILLY STRING out of thin air. He hands it to RITA)_

RITA

What is it?

WAKKO

Silly string!

RITA

What should I _do_ with it?

WAKKO

Get Sonic to come over here...and spray me in the face.

RITA

Why are you doing this?

WAKKO

Hey, if I'm aligning with you guys, I want you to know what you're getting into. Remember? I'm a cartoon lunatic...just like he said...

RITA

Yep, you're literally psychotic.

_(She calls behind the SHELTER)_

Sonic, get over here—

_(SONIC crosses out from behind the SHELTER. He holds a half-eaten SMORE. He looks very uncomfortable to be around WAKKO)_

SONIC

Yes?

WAKKO

So - since Rita told me we're aligned, I'd like to sign a treaty. By means of a silly string war—

SONIC

What?

WAKKO

Here, we both fire! When our strings launch, we're officially aligned for final three!

SONIC

_(Annoyed)_

Is there, like… a catch here?

WAKKO

Yes. You have to promise to never bad mouth my family again…all right?

SONIC

_(Grumbling a little)_

Okay. Okay. Fine…

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

Sometimes, I can't tell what's more lacking – Sonic's modesty or Wakko's sanity.

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional)_

WAKKO

Yeah, I was just acting. I kind of…played up the drama back there…so Rita would feel bad and try to step in for Sonic. Then I _knew_ they'd try to align with me. Luckily, Sonic's not really my biggest fan either, so if I wanted to, I could always abandon their sinking ship and use Sonic as my reason. I'm between two sides. I mean, Cadpig's _not_ happy with me…so…I've just got to play it as cool as a cucumber…

_(WAKKO forces a weak smile. He examines the SILLY STRING. Curious, he opens the NOZZLE and sprays it into his mouth. He chews on it thoughtfully, He glances at the CAMERAMAN off-screen, probably disgusted)_

WAKKO

_Hey._ Don't knock it til you try it…

* * *

_(Cut to sometime later that night. The OTHERS are all asleep. RITA and SONIC sit in front of the FIRE together, staring into the FLAMES)_

RITA

So…thanks for apologizing to him back there—

SONIC

No, I mean, people should apologize more! Do you know, like, how many _wars_ wouldn't have happened if people just apologized? Like...if I'm out running and I kick leaves on your yard...I apologize.

RITA

_(After a moment)_

Sonic...did you really just equate a _war _with kicking leaves on somebody's yard?

SONIC

I don't know! Dictators are weird! Maybe that's how some of these wars started...

RITA

You're an idiot.

SONIC

Wow. Thanks…

RITA

_(Quickly)_

No, that was a compliment! I mean…I…I like the fact that...you're an idiot…

_(Awkward pause)_

SONIC

Do you think Wakko's mad at me?

RITA

I mean, you openly attacked his family.

SONIC

Well, I don't know. I just don't like when people cheat.

RITA

I don't think he's mad at you. Like, coming from me, you'd have to do something sacrilegious to make Wakko angry. Like…wasting a candy bar or something, y'know?

SONIC

(Cutting her off)

Rita, are you my friend?

RITA

Well, that was random.

SONIC

I just…friends really mean _a lot_ to me, and if you're just using me for the game, that''s fine…but like…is there any part of you that actually _likes_ me?

RITA

That's a loaded question, Sonic…

SONIC

Are we friends?

RITA

_(Quickly)_

Yes, we're friends. I promise.

SONIC

Good.

RITA

Do…do you miss your friends back home?

SONIC

Yeah. I mean…they're everything...

RITA

What would happen if you didn't have them?

SONIC

I guess…I'd have to learn to like myself.

(Pause)

I mean, wait, wait, I didn't mean…wait, wait, I mean, I _do _like myself! I'm awesome!

RITA

Good!

SONIC_:_

_(Laughing)_

Bad vibes here, man. Bad vibes. What the heck are we talking about? This is, like, so depressing. Geez. Let's talk about something else. Do you, uh… do you work out? Ever?

RITA

Hey, do you want to, like…it's getting cold. Do you want to get closer?

SONIC

_(Chuckling)_

Sure, yeah, rob me of my body heat…

_(SONIC nudges closer to RITA. RITA shivers, pushing in closer to him. This carries on for a bit. After a moment, RITA takes a deep breath and nudges closer to him. SONIC allows it, not really thinking. They seem to be on the verge of something._

_Finally, RITA goes for it. She turns her head and kisses SONIC on the side of the face. _

_SONIC is shocked. He isn't sure what to do at first._

_Then, catching on, he returns it. _

_After a moment, they break. Both of them seem shocked, elated, and everything in between)_

SONIC

_(Stammering)_

Wait, wait, I'm so confused – what just happened—?

RITA

I HAPPENED, SONIC! I DID! BAM! Just like that! Come on, it's on the tip of your tongue. Say it, say it! You_ LIKED_ that…

SONIC

I…you…me…

_(SONIC moans, a dazed smile on his face. He promptly faints into the dirt, still smiling. RITA looks down at him. She smiles, delighted at what she's feeling. She reaches down and wipes a smudge of chocolate from SONIC's lip)_

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

_RITA_

All my life, I've believed in two things. One, if you're getting chased by a dog, climb a telephone pole. Two, girls should _never, ever _have to make the first move. Sometimes…I like to be proven wrong…

* * *

_(Cut to the CHALLENGE the following morning. An aerial shot looks down at FIVE BALANCE BEAMS in a small CLEARING. On the south end of each BALANCE BEAM, there is a WATER SPIGOT. On the north end, there is a large WATER WHEEL. At the top, there are different colored TANKS – white for CADPIG, blue for WAKKO, light green for SONIC, red for MARVIN, and purple for RITA_

_THE HOST stands on his usual MAT. He smiles, urging the TRIBE to enter)_

_HOST_

COME ON IN GUYS!

_(SONIC, CADPIG, WAKKO, MARVIN, and RITA enter from the BUSHES. They take their place on the PURPLE MAT. Seeing them all together, we see how emaciated they all are. For those that wore clothes, they only have scraps. For those with fur, they've all ended up sharing the same color – brown, just like the dirt they've been sleeping in._

HOST

You guys ready to get to today's immunity challenge?

_ (The CONTESTANTS applaud)_

All right, first thing's first Marvin, time to take that back…

_ (MARVIN crosses up to the HOST. The HOST proceeds to unfasten the NECKLACE)_

MARVIN

Don't worry everyone. There's a happy ending here. We get reunited…

CADPIG

_(Annoyed)_

Hey, just out of curiosity, is it anyone's_ birthday _here?

MARVIN

Never mind, never mind! Didn't mean to be conceited…

CADPIG

I thought so…

HOST

Once again, immunity is back up for grabs. For today's challenge, you'll be filling two buckets of water over at your respective spigots. You will then carry both pails of water across your beam using a pole. If you drop your water, you have to go back and refill. At the end of your beam, you will pour all of your water into your tank at the top of the water wheel. Once you have enough, your tank will open and the water wheel will run, securing you immunity for this round. Also, keep in mind…back at the auction, Marvin won an advantage in the Final Five challenge.

_(The HOST reaches into his POCKET and pulls out a slip of PAPER. MARVIN takes it from him and reads it aloud)_

MARVIN

"_Marvin will be allowed to make the first trip all by himself. The other players will not be allowed to move until Marvin has safely reached the end of the balance beam…"_

_HOST_

And in addition, the advantage also comes with a surprise twist…

MARVIN

"_The winner of this challenge will be able to choose two tribe mates to be banished for the night to an unknown location. Rather than occurring tonight…Tribal Council will occur tomorrow night. This will mean that they will miss out on valuable time to strategize with their tribe…"_

SONIC

_(After a moment)_

Well, that's one way to kill a good vibe…

HOST

You'll be left far away from your camp with only one box of matches. No food. No shelter. You'll be left entirely on your own. Suddenly, the stakes are a lot higher. Worth playing for? Let's get started…

* * *

_(Cut to the CHALLENGE several minutes later. Everyone is set up at their respective WATER SPIGOTS. They're glaring at MARVIN, aware that he's going to be able to cross the BEAM before all of them)_

WAKKO

Hey Marvin, if you keep smiling, your face might stick that way…

MARVIN

Interesting, Wakko. Is that what happened with your tongue?

HOST

SURVIVORS READY? GO!

_(MARVIN whistles and turns to the WATER SPIGOT. He takes his sweet time. He fills his BUCKETS casually, humming a song to himself. Then he winks at the OTHERS and walks slowly to the BALANCE BEAM. He climbs on top with his BUCKETS)_

MARVIN

_(Loudly)_

Why, what a nice breeze up here. Maybe I'll stay up here for a while…

RITA

STOP TROLLING US, MARVIN!

SONIC

Yeah, what my…my_ friend_ said!

MARVIN

You people…always in a rush to get somewhere—

CADPIG

Hey Marvin?

MARVIN

What?

CADPIG

_(Singing)_

"_Happy birthday to you…"_

MARVIN

(Quickly)

Running! Yes! Yes! Picking up speed!

_(MARVIN hurries across the BEAM with his WATER BUCKETS. He climbs to the top of the WATER WHEEL and dumps the WATER into his TANK._

_The HOST lowers his hand. At once, the OTHER CONTESTANTS turn to their WATER SPIGOTS and begin filling their BUCKETS. CADPIG pumps away at the lever, filling hers as fast as she can. WAKKO dunks his head under the SPIGOT, cooling off while he has the chance. RITA and SONIC are hard at work as well, eyeing one another to watch their progress._

_As MARVIN returns, WAKKO and SONIC have both filled their BUCKETS. They climb onto their BALANCE BEAMS. CADPIG and RITA are still struggling to finish)_

_HOST_

It's Marvin in the lead, Sonic and Wakko tied for second! Cadpig and Rita, lagging behind! This is still anyone's game…

_(CADPIG fills her BUCKET. RITA finishes shortly afterwards. By this point, WAKKO and SONIC are already at the WATER WHEEL. They race each other to the TOP. Almost at the same time, they dunk their WATER into their TANKS)_

SONIC

_(Laughing a little)_

You know Wak, for being aligned, we're sure in a hurry to beat each other here!

MARVIN

What's that? Talking strategy in the open, boys?!

SONIC

_(Quickly)_

Yeah, bro! What's it to you? I have alliances! I have alliances within alliances, plus an alliance, minus an alliance, divided by the square root of an alliance!

WAKKO

He's mocking you, Marvin.

MARVIN

Sonic's trying to do math. He's mocking himself…

_(RITA has filled her first BUCKET of WATER. She scales the BALANCE BEAM with surprising ease, almost scampering across. She makes it there in a matter of seconds. She scales the WATER WHEEL quickly. She dumps her BUCKET into the TANK on top)_

HOST

RITA, WASTING NO TIME! SHE'S NOW IN THIS!

RITA

Cat-like reflexes! How about that?

_(MARVIN hurries back to the SPIGOT, ready for his THIRD round. He's still in the league and shows no signs of falling behind. CADPIG, pitifully, is wobbling on the balance beam. The POLE and the BUCKETS are just too awkward for her body weight. RITA rushes back to the WATER SPIGOTS. She finds SONIC and WAKKO there, hard at work pumping on their SPIGOTS)_

RITA

Hurry up, guys! We're lagging behind! Marvin's going to win _again—_

_(At the mention of his name, MARVIN fills his FINAL BUCKET. He takes off toward the BALANCE BEAM, ready to fill the final portion of the TANK. At the SPIGOT, SONIC pumps frantically_

SONIC

Don't worry, girl! I've _got_ you! You don't have to worry—

RITA

Sonic, you're not even pumping right—

SONIC

No! No! I can do it myself! I've got it!

RITA

But you don't—

SONIC

_(Showing his arm)_

Hey, hey, you see this? Bones of steel here, all right? Trust me, I'm not letting you go home tonight!

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional)_

RITA

Sonic means well. It's just that…when he's involved with the game, he's just the most disagreeable, hard-headed person ever – and trust me, I worked with Marvin for like two weeks. During the challenge, we needed to work together to stop Marvin, but Sonic was so wrapped up in doing his own thing, so whatever. We got close last night, but I wasn't going to sit there splashing in puddles with the guy. Marvin was due for a whooping…

_(Cut back to the CHALLENGE. RITA shakes her head. She proceeds to walk to her SPIGOT and pump hard. She dumps an inordinate amount of WATER into her TWO BUCKETS, to the point where they're basically overflowing._

_RITA glares at MARVIN, watching as he treks across the BALANCE BEAM. His WATER luggage is considerably less. She glances over at CADPIG, still teetering on the BALANCE BEAM. She looks over at WAKKO, struggling to get more WATER out of his SPIGOT. She looks over at SONIC, frowning, watching as he pulls hard at his own LEVER)_

_RITA_

_ (Muttering)_

I'm surrounded by idiots…

_(RITA climbs onto the BEAM with her BUCKETS. She treks across the BEAM, balancing carefully, eyes locked on MARVIN. He doesn't see her sneaking up behind him. She proceeds to move quicker. She reaches the point where she's almost speed walking)_

_MARVIN_

_ (Noticing too late)_

WAIT, RITA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

RITA

I gave you a bunny, Marvin. You owe me an immunity win…

_(RITA hops off the end of the BALANCE BEAM with her WATER BUCKETS. MARVIN is aghast. He hurries across the BEAM, but in the process, he hurries too quickly. He falls, spilling water everywhere. Over by the SPIGOTS, WAKKO and SONIC laugh – not only at MARVIN's downfall, but at the simple fact of who is beating him)_

_(RITA climbs to the top of the WATER WHEEL. With a cry of exhaustion, she dumps the BUCKETS into her TANK. The FLOODGATE opens. The WATER falls. The WATER WHEEL begins to spin)_

HOST

THAT'S IT! RITA FINISHES! RITA WINS IMMUNITY!

_(Cut to several minutes later. CADPIG, MARVIN, SONIC, and WAKKO stand on the MAT, applauding RITA as she crosses over to the HOST. MARVIN's temper knows no bounds. With his face shadowed by his HELMET, he looks almost frightening. SONIC whistles by blowing his fingers. WAKKO gives a fist pump. CADPIG smiles, but she can't help but look at MARVIN beside her. She looks a little worried)_

_HOST_

_(Clipping the NECKLACE around RITA's neck)_

An unexpected win, but that doesn't mean we don't welcome it. _Rita_…safe at Tribal Council, guaranteed a one in four shot at a million a dollars. Now, Rita will be given the choice of who she wants to send to exile for tonight. You can pick two…

RITA

All right, I don't do sob stories, so we'll make this quick. Cadpig and Marvin, get out of here...

HOST

You heard her. Cadpig and Marvin, you will be exiled together tonight far away in the desert. You will miss valuable time to strategize with your tribe before the next vote-off. As it seems, you're on the outs right now…but if you're lucky, maybe sparks at camp might work out in your favor more than you think. A helicopter will be here soon to take you away. The rest of you…grab your stuff. Head back to camp.


	29. Dog Day Afternoon, Part II

_(Cut to somewhere far away in the DESERT. There is a large sandy crater in a clearing full of scrap metal. It seems that an airplane crashed here at one point. _

_A HELICOPTER is heard in the distance. It touches down about ten yards away from the CRATER. _

_There is a moment's pause. _

_Then, kicked by a PRODUCTION MEMBER, CADPIG and MARVIN come flying out of the HELICOPTER. They land on the ground in a heap)_

CAMERAMAN

We'll be back for you in the morning!

_(The CAMERAMAN tosses a BOX of MATCHES. He shuts the door. The HELICOPTER's blade spin as it takes off again)_

_ (Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

I've always figured myself as a patient individual. As long as I have my medications. Then…I met Cadpig. She just talks. And _talks…._

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. MARVIN is crouched in the SANDY CRATER. He plays with the MATCHES, trying to get them lit. CADPIG watches from the side, skeptical and unamused)_

_CADPIG_

Hey Marvin, you want me to help you get the fire lit?

MARVIN

_No._

CADPIG

What's that supposed to mean?

MARVIN

I can take care of this myself!

CADPIG

_(Rolling her eyes)_

Y'know...I get this weird suspicion that you don't want me around…

MARVIN

Don't _push _me, Cadpig.

CADPIG

Push, push, push…?

MARVIN

Excuse me – I'll have you know – I've demolished entire planets in a matter of -

CADPIG

Yawn. Yawn. _Snoreeeeees-ville. _Come again, Sir?

MARVIN

(Holding up the MATCHES)

Do_ you_ want to start a fire? Be my guest.

CADPIG

(Taking the MATCHES)

Sure! I'll make it your birthday present….

MARVIN

For the last time – don't talk about my birthday!

CADPIG

All right, give me a second-

_(CADPIG starts to do a weird mambo. She shakes her arms around, dancing and hopping up and down in the CRATER)_

MARVIN

What on Earth are you-

CADPIG

Fire dance, Marvin. I'm doing a fire dance. I'm summoning the flames.

MARVIN

If you were made for _anything,_ I was assure you – it was reality TV-

CADPIG

"SURVIVOR GODS, I BEG OF THEE TONIGHT! I, CADPIG THE DALMATIAN, AM STRANDED WITH MARVIN THE MARTIAN! WE MAKE A HUMBLE REQUEST OF FIRE SO WE CAN EAT SALAMANDERS! DO YOU HEAR OUR PLEA?"

_(A crack of thunder. Rain begins to pour over MARVIN and CADPIG, drowning out any chance of starting a FIRE. CADPIG looks crestfallen. She glares at the ground, embarrassed, unable to look at MARVIN. He looks very proud of himself)_

MARVIN

Well, the Gods are happy tonight….

CADPIG

_(Quietly)_

Maybe I was doing a rain dance…

MARVIN

Here. We'll dig a hole in the crater. We'll cover it with something.

CADPIG

Are you talking about, like, burying ourselves alive-

MARVIN

Leaves, Cadpig! We'll cover ourselves with leaves!

_ (Pause)_

CADPIG

I don't think you should be so temperamental on your birthday-

MARVIN

STOP TALKING ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY!

_(MARVIN starts to storm away. He begins to climb out of the CRATER. CADPIG looks at him sadly, watching as he climbs over the ROCK)_

CADPIG

Do me a favor. Never work with young children…

MARVIN

I have no intention of _ever_ having kids-

CADPIG

Good! You're like an angry gym teacher!

_(The lightning flashes. MARVIN rises on the rocks, glaring down at CADPIG. He suddenly looks very menacing)_

MARVIN

Come out of the crater…now…and help me find branches…

_(MARVIN climbs out of the CRATER and vanishes from view. CADPIG shields her eyes, glaring at him through the rain)_

CADPIG

(Mocking MARVIN)

"_Go get this! Go get that!" _Jeez Louise…

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

So, game-wise, there's really _nothing_ I can do tonight. Marvin and I are both in the minority, so if we talk to each other, we're just going to keep repeating the same conversation: we need Wakko, Sonic, or Rita to flip...

* * *

_(Cut back to CAMP. RITA and SONIC are sitting together in the SHELTER. They look up at the STARS in the SKY)_

RITA

Shooting star. Make a wish..

SONIC

_Nah._

RITA

C'mon, what did you want when you were a little kid?

SONIC

I wanted to be gym teacher. It's weird, I know …

RITA

I'm not a fan of kids—

SONIC

_(Jokingly) _

What, you're not the motherly type?

RITA

I just don't enjoy watching slobbering midgets do push-ups. But...that's what you wanted?

SONIC:

I don't really remember actually. Being a kid.

RITA

Is it just, like, a blank?

SONIC

My childhood's kind of blank.

(Pause)

I had parents. I think.

(Pause)

I've kind of been on my own…?

RITA

That's rough.

SONIC

_(Laughing a little)_

Nah. Good company, thrill of the road…I'm all right.

RITA

_(Nudging him)_

So nothing scares you?

SONIC

You're asking that because...?

RITA

Well, what _scares _Sonic?

SONIC

What scares _Rita?_

RITA

Bugs.

SONIC

_Heh._ Bugs are all right.

RITA

What are _you_ scared of, Sonic?

SONIC

_(After a moment)_

Do you really want to know?

RITA

If it's something, like, serious—

SONIC

_(Laughing a little)_

All right, all right, I'll get it off my chest—

RITA

There's cameras watching.

SONIC

Good. They're not going to use this footage. It's boring.

RITA

C'mon, tell me…

SONIC

I'm scared of getting older…? Like...one day my friends are…all going to be older, and then I'm just going to be, like…I'll be out a road somewhere and I'll just be, like…"okay, so now what? What happens now?"'

_(Pause)_

Isn't that weird?

_(Pause)_

RITA

Like…is it being _alone _that scares you?

SONIC

_(Laughing) _

This is awkward, you want to drop it?

RITA

No, no. That's fine.

SONIC

Y'know, we should _really_ keep an eye on Wakko.

_(They glance inside the SHELTER. WAKKO is wrapped in BLANKETS, snoring audibly. He talks to himself in his sleep)_

WAKKO

(In his sleep)

No Dot, you already had mashed potatoes…

RITA

(To WAKKO)

We've talked.

SONIC

What's he been saying?

RITA

He's our guinea pig. We've got to keep stroking him. He'll beat out Cadpig and Marvin in challenges. Then we'll cut his throat at Final Three.

SONIC

So…you're relying on _me?_

RITA

I mean, I'd _like _to go to the Final Two with you—

SONIC

I know. I just wanted to make sure.

(Pause)

RITA

I mean…game aside, you'd consider me a _friend _now, right?

SONIC

Like…?

RITA

Like – I _think _of you as a friend now—

SONIC

No, no, you are my friend!

RITA

Good.

(Pause)

Because…after the game…if people get together to hang out, I mean, maybe we could-

SONIC

Well, I'm _really_ hard to get in touch with though.

_(Pause)_

RITA

Well, you don't _have_ to hang out with me—

SONIC

No. It's just…I'm out a lot, y'know? I'm hitchhiking, climbing mountains. So….I mean, it's just not going to be easy to…get a hold of me…

RITA

We….could do it in the winter then.

SONIC

What do you mean?

RITA

Well, in the winter…when you can't run anymore…we could hang out…right?

SONIC

I guess.

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional. She looks a little hurt)_

RITA

That was stupid. I'm not expecting any of these people to turn around…after treating me like a disease. If he's not interested…that's fine...

_(Cut to SONIC in a confessional. He looks very nervous)_

SONIC

I like Rita. As a _friend._ She plays the flirt card. But she does that with lots of guys, y'know?I mean, I…I _hope_ that's the case. She did kiss me.

(Pause)

I think she's trying to hang out with me outside the game. Which is cool. We could do that. But I don't really…I don't get _close_ to people. Not that close. My fan-girls only submit their affection in writing…

* * *

_(Cut back to the SANDY CRATER where MARVIN and CADPIG are stranded. There's a relentless downpour. MARVIN and CADPIG are crowded together, sitting beneath a GIANT LEAF. They look absolutely miserable. In the background, there is another MAKESHIFT TELESCOPE made out of WOOD and GLASS. It seems like MARVIN has constructed another one in their down time)_

CADPIG

Do you want to play a game?

MARVIN

I'd rather be stranded without oxygen on Jupiter.

CADPIG

I spy with my little eye…something…brown.

_(No response. MARVIN just glares out at the rain)_

Marvin, a game isn't going to kill you.

MARVIN

What color?

CADPIG

Brown.

MARVIN

_Sand._

CADPIG

Yes, you got it—

MARVIN

(Annoyed)

Sand! Everywhere! SAND! SAND! SAND! What _else_ is there?

CADPIG

_Hmmm_. Maybe we should just go back to not talking to each other…

_(An awkward pause. They stare out at the rain together)_

MARVIN

_(After a moment)_

I do…appreciate it though…

CADPIG

What?

MARVIN

Your kindness.

CADPIG

You do a pretty bad job of reciprocating it.

MARVIN

Recipro-what?

CADPIG

Reciprocating it._ Showing _it. Throwing the ball back to me.

MARVIN

I could throw the ball back—

CADPIG

Look, if games make you this miserable, I'm not going to bother…

MARVIN

We all played charades that one day. That was fun.

CADPIG

We played _charades_ everyone freaked out at you—!

MARVIN

Well, in that case, maybe I won't "reciprocate."

_(Pause)_

CADPIG

Marvin, what happened to you?

MARVIN

Nothing.

CADPIG

Why do you hate everyone?

MARVIN

I don't—

CADPIG

Well, what makes you so…uncomfortable around people?

MARVIN

That's a matter best discussed later. When you're gone. And I'm a millionaire.

_(MARVIN glances up at the SKY. He seems startled. He gets up hurriedly)_

It's _time…_

CADPIG

Time for what…?

MARVIN

The planet alignments. My telescope. I'll be able to pick up the vibrations…

CADPIG

What? The message from your family? For your birthday?

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

This morning…okay, Marvin told me he's doing this weird thing where he's using a telescope to pick up vibrations in space, to see if his family on Mars is sending him a birthday message via, like, satellite or something? I don't know. It's depressing. He wants a message from his family….

_(Cut back to the scene)_

MARVIN

Yes. The message from my family. Now quiet. I've had enough of your lunacy tonight.

_(MARVIN starts to peer through the TELESCOPE, looking up at the RAINY SKY)_

CADPIG

I'm not going to get in the way of this…

MARVIN

Yes. Yes. Be quiet. The planets are aligned. I might pick up the frequency…

CADPIG

Have they ever left you a message before?

(Pause)

Marvin?

MARVIN

No.

(Pause)

Wait, there's something. There's something coming in.

CADPIG

Really?

MARVIN

Yes, it's from Mars! Cadpig, I need you to remember this. Remember each word that I say. They might not be in order… "Marvin"

(CADPIG starts to scribble down words in the DIRT with a STICK)

CADPIG

"Marvin."

MARVIN

"Incinerate."

CADPIG

"Incinerate."

(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)

MARVIN

Out of the blue, a message came from my family. I…I hadn't been that excited since I taught my dog to roll over…

_(Cut back to the scene. MARVIN is still giving words to CADPIG. She seems apprehensive, realizing now what the words mean)_

MARVIN

"Don't"

CADPIG

"Don't"

MARVIN

"Come"

CADPIG

"Come"

MARVIN

"Back" All right, all right, now, tell me what it says!

CADPIG

I wrote them down in the dirt.

MARVIN

Well, don't build up the suspense. Let's put them in order.

CADPIG

I…I think I figured it out, Marvin…

MARVIN

Well…?

CADPIG

It's…it's not what you expected—

MARVIN

What do you mean? It's my family. Give it, let me read it.

CADPIG

But I just don't think—

MARVIN

Let's see...

_(He shoves CADPIG out the way. He squints at words in the DIRT, reading them outloud)_

"Marvin…we realize you're trying to win money to sneak back to Mars…and if you step foot at our home…we will….incinerate you. Don't…come…back. Love…your…_family…_

_(Long, awkward silence. Neither CADPIG or MARVIN say anything. MARVIN just stares down at the MUD, lost for words)_

_CADPIG_

Do…do you want to go for a walk?

_(MARVIN doesn't respond. He takes the STICK that CADPIG used to write words in the MUD. He crosses over to the TELESCOPE._

_Without warning, MARVIN begins to smash the TELESCOPE with the STICK. _

_He cries out in rage. He continues until the TELESCOPE is reduced to SHAMBLES. CADPIG just watches, horrified, too frightened to step in)_

MARVIN

FINE! FINE! I SURVIVED OUT IN SPACE ALONE! NOBODY TO HELP ME! DIDN'T I TURN OUT FINE? I'M GOING TO MAKE IT BACK TO MARS, YOU HEAR ME? I'M GOING TO TAKE THAT MILLION DOLLAR CHECK AND I'M GOING TO WAVE IT IN THEIR FACES!

_ (He turns to CADPIG, enraged, stepping toward her)_

HOW DOES THAT SOUND, CADPIG?

_(Another crack of LIGHTNING in the SKY. MARVIN just stares at CADPIG, face dripping, waiting for a response. He doesn't seem angry. He just seems to want her to say something. _

_CADPIG has nothing. After a moment, she just starts to cry. She can't manage to look at MARVIN)_

_MARVIN_

_ (After a moment)_

Worthless….

_(MARVIN storms off with the STICK. CADPIG watches him go, hugging herself in the RAIN)_

* * *

_(Cut to the following MORNING. The rain has ceased. CADPIG and MARVIN sit on ROCKS in the middle of the CRATER. Their BAGS are packed. They seem to be waiting for the HELICOPTER to take them back to CAMP)_

CADPIG

_ (Breaking the silence)_

I…I don't know what it means to you but…

_ (No response from MARVIN. He just stares out into space)_

Sometimes…people really bother me…

MARVIN

It's fine.

_(Pause. He still doesn't look at CADPIG)_

I just...blocked it out, I guess?

_(Pause)_

When I was thirteen, I ran away to the Martian Training Academy. My father passed away. In the Sixth Intergalactic War. We were about to start the Seventh. Nobody was doing anything. Everyone just seemed complacent with it. Going back to war. Rationing food again. Recycling scrap metal for ammunition. Organizing donation bins for soldiers. I didn't want that. I refused...

_ (Pause)_

So I left my family to join the military. In the middle of the night, I packed my bag, I took my razor in the bathroom...my father's dog tags...and I left. I didn't talk to them for years after. I haven't talked to them since. It wasn't that I didn't want to. It's just…with all the training - I mean - why would I have wanted them to be involved? How could I think about them anymore?

(Pause)

I mean...maybe they _should_ hate me...

CADPIG

Maybe you just need to talk to them…

MARVIN

No...

_(Pause)_

You've always been very kind to me. Thank you...

_(Another pause)_

I never felt like you weren't trying…

_(The sound of HELICOPTER BLADES approaching off-screen. MARVIN gives a weak nod to CADPIG. Then he picks up his BAG and exits)_

_(Cut to CADPIG in a CONFESSIONAL)_

CADPIG

I was having some suspicions. It just seemed… strange. They send us here for the night, but there's no gimmick? No catch? So…while we were waiting for the helicopter to touch down, I thought I'd do a last minute strip-search….

_(Cut to several minutes later. MARVIN stands at the top of the CRATER, watching as the HELICOPTER touches down. CADPIG sits nearby. She makes sure MARVIN isn't looking. Then she takes a step back, peeking into the piece of the CRASHED JET behind her)_

CADPIG

It wasn't an Idol…but it was a step in the right direction….

_(Cut to CADPIG fishing through the JET. It seems to be part of the COCKPIT, turned upside-down. She rummages through a BROKEN DRAWER. She snags something. She pulls it out. It looks like an IMMUNITY IDOL, but there's a piece of RED TAPE around it. There is also a NOTE attached. CADPIG rips off the NOTE and reads it out loud)_

CADPIG

"This is a _fake_ immunity Idol. It looks exactly like a real one. If you give it to somebody…they could use it to your advantage."

_(The sound of the HELICOPTER touching down outside. CADPIG bites her lip, holding the FAKE IDOL to her CHEST)_

* * *

_(Cut to sometime later. The HELICOPTER descends on the outskirts of CAMP. It blows up sand from the ground below. CADPIG and MARVIN step out with their BACKPACKS, hopping down a LADDER._

_The only person waiting to greet them, oddly enough, is RITA)_

RITA

So how was the bug situation?

CADPIG

_(Showing her BUG BITES)_

And it was burning out there! Dog day afternoon...

RITA

_ (She glances over MARVIN, trying to smile)_

How about you, Marvin?

MARVIN

_Pardon…?_

RITA

Did you manage?

MARVIN

_(Awkwardly)_

Yes. Of course. You've…you've been keeping the shelter in shape?

RITA

What do you mean? It's our shelter. It's _built_.

MARVIN

Well…I suppose…I'll unpack my things…

_(MARVIN walks off toward CAMP, looking dejected. RITA turns to CADPIG, a little confused)_

RITA

Did something happen?

CADPIG

Just let him cool off.

RITA

Well, if it means anything to you…we are sending him home tonight...

* * *

_(Cut to MARVIN standing alone in the DESERT. The SUN is shining. The STORM has stopped. He watches a HOARDE of LIZARDS scamper across the DESERT. They rush away from him. __Suddenly, a NET snags around the LIZARD._

_They are pulled into the AIR, caught in the NET hanging from a BRANCH – a trap set by MARVIN. __MARVIN storms over and seizes the NET. He marches off-screen, dragging his prey with him)_

_(Cut to MARVIN in a CONFESSIONAL)_

MARVIN

_Psssh._ Why is Mars so great? Pollution! Oil leakage on the conveyer belts in Asteroid City! I mean – it's my _home –_ but – I can't do anything about that. I can only better my_ own_ welfare now…

_ (He takes a deep breath)_

I don't have a choice….

_ (Pause)_

I'm _not_ giving up here. No. Wakko, Sonic, Rita, Cadpig – I'll pile drive them. I'm going to win a million dollars. I'm going to live a happy, peaceful life with my dog….in our trailer…_alone_…

_(He glares at the camera)_

Now…_don't_ ask about my family...

* * *

_(Cut to CADPIG resting in the SHELTER. For some reason, she has tied DODGER'S old BANDANNA around her neck. MARVIN creeps in beside her. He kneels down to speak to her)_

MARVIN

Hello Cadpig- still interested in becoming _evil? _

CADPIG

What?

MARVIN

_Evil._ Need I say it in French?

CADPIG

But I thought we decided you _weren't_?

MARVIN

Take Dodger's bandanna off...

_(MARVIN crawls over to the other side of the SHELTER. He pulls out a GREEN WAR HELMET, identical to his. MARVIN proceeds to place it on CADPIG's head)_

CADPIG

_(Wobbling back and forth)_

Marvin, this thing is too heavy for me—

MARVIN

_(Raising his fist)_

From now on - Cadpig is no more! What do you say? Be my accomplice?

CADPIG

Wasn't this your _dog's_ helmet?

MARVIN

You're wearing it backwards—

_(MARVIN crawls over to help her. CADPIG shakes her head and takes the HELMET off)_

CADPIG

Marvin, you said you_ weren't_ evil-

MARVIN

I'm trying to save you! Play dirty! It's the only way you'll last!

CADPIG

I sent Dodger home! Hello?! Wasn't _that _dirty? Marvin, look, look, you're just upset about your family – you're trying to do something drastic about it!

MARVIN

_(Snatching the HELMET back)_

_Hmph._ Well, in that case, I'll be taking that back—

CADPIG

I'm not your accomplice-

MARVIN

Forget it. I'll tell the others to buy you a drink at Loser Lodge...

CADPIG

I'm under-aged...

MARVIN

Then they'll buy you a chew toy.

* * *

_(Cut to somewhere else in the DESERT. WAKKO is crouched over the SOIL. He has a handful of JELLY BEANS and is planting them in the ground for some reason. CADPIG crosses up to him with a forced smile. WAKKO pretends not to notice her)_

CADPIG

Wakko – my home-slice! Whatcha up to?

WAKKO

_(Coldly)_

Just planting jelly beans…

CADPIG

Where'd you get those?

WAKKO

(Not looking at her)

The merge feast. I saved them. I'm planting them so they grow into a beanstalk…

CADPIG

_(Forcing a laugh)_

Y'know, sometimes you're, like, totally sane and rational – and the next moment - it's like – who am I talking to? Who _are_ you, Wakko?

WAKKO

(Coldly)

Who are _you?_

(Awkward silence)

CADPIG

So…why are you growing a beanstalk?

WAKKO

To make more jelly beans.

CADPIG

Okay – well, hey, hey, why don't we do it together? We'll plant some seeds. Candy buddies—

WAKKO

Do me a favor.

CADPIG

What?

WAKKO

Don't compare us to candy. Jelly beans are my favorite.

_(Silence)_

CADPIG

What's that supposed to mean?

WAKKO

Look at what you _did _last round! I kissed you because of Yakko's mushroom – that's _one_ thing – but then you tried to manipulate me—!

CADPIG

I did not—

WAKKO

What did you say? _"Was there anything in the kiss? Sorry Wakko, I think I genuinely did kind of like you."_ You knew I'd feel guilty about what happened between us! You were trying to do the same thing to me that you did to Courage—

CADPIG

I_ didn't_ manipulate Courage!

WAKKO

So you just _happened _not to tell him about the Idol that round? You just happened to _conveniently_ borrow his Idol - and _allow_ him to be voted out?

CADPIG

I'm not going to apologize...

WAKKO

And I'm not going to align with you.

CADPIG

I'm done apologizing! It hasn't gotten me anywhere!

WAKKO

Then stop milking sympathy—

CADPIG

I'll milk you like a cow, buddy! I mean, if you want to try to send me _home_ tonight-

WAKKO

_(Quietly)_

_Ugh._ We're not sending you home tonight. It's Marvin…

CADPIG

Fine! Plant your jelly beans…

WAKKO

I will! And you're not going to have any!

(_CADPIG glares at WAKKO. She snatches a JELLY BEAN from the GROUND. She eats in front of him and storms off. WAKKO looks a little crestfallen. Then, out of nowhere, a small PLANT sprouts out of the GROUND. There are TWO JELLY BEANS attached to a LEAF)_

WAKKO

_(Bewildered)_

Wow…everything I touch stops making sense…

* * *

_(Cut to MARVIN at the center of CAMP. He sits on a LOG staring out at the flames. He sharpens a wooden knife with a ROCK. RITA sits down beside him, She struggles to smile)_

RITA

Hey Marvin – we haven't talked in forever—

MARVIN

_(Trying to smile back)_

Well, when you flip on somebody - that's generally the result.

RITA

Are you busy?

MARVIN

No. No. I'm just…the salamanders. I'm going to roast them.

RITA

Good company, huh? They talk as much as _you _do!

MARVIN

Was that your attempt at a joke?

_(Awkward silence. RITA shuffles uncomfortably)_

RITA

Hey. Hey. I wanted to show you. I stole this from one of the camera dudes. Figured you could use it to pass the time….

_(She pulls out a small YO-YO)_

It's a Yo-Yo. Do.. they have those on your planet?

MARVIN

_(Brightening up)_

Yes. We have toys. We have _fun._ You'd think we were all—

RITA

Aliens or something, right?

(They force laughs)

So…do you want to play with it a little?

MARVIN

You give me a bunny. Then a Yo-Yo. It's the season of giving here, isn't it?

_(MARVIN takes the Yo-Yo. He plays with it half-heartedly, doing a few simple tricks. RITA watches from the side)_

RITA

I'm sorry I exiled you last night.

MARVIN

No matter.

_(He offers her the YO-YO)_

Here...

RITA

(_Taking the YO-YO back)_

So, I just came over to say, um—

MARVIN

Yes?

RITA

I was just talking to Sonic – about, like, hanging out with people, after the game – and y'know Sonic. Sonic's busy...

_(Pause)_

But – I figured – I mean, are you still planning on going home to Mars after this?

_(Stiff silence)_

Marvin?

MARVIN

_(After a moment)_

No.

RITA

Why not?

MARVIN

(Louder)

Because people change their minds...

RITA

What's up with you?

MARVIN

Why are you here? What do you want?

RITA

_Nothing._

MARVIN

Tell me! What's your lie? You're going to vote me out tonight. I _know_ you are. So what is it? What's the lie that you're going to feed me?

RITA

Dude…this is just a game. Can't we just, like…_talk_? Like before? I thought we were friends.

_(MARVIN grabs her Yo-Yo and snatches it back. He starts to cradle it, looking away from her)_

MARVIN

Why are you lying?

RITA

I'm _not_—

MARVIN

I'm fed up with this! The scheming! Pretending I don't exist! I'm not going to fall for your trap! Why can't you just_ tell_ me you're voting me out?

RITA

Dude, I wanted to hang out! That's_ all!_ Keep it!

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional. He sits holding RITA's YO-YO)_

MARVIN

I don't care if Rita was being sincere. I don't _want _to hate these people…but that's the only way I'm going to survive...

* * *

_(Cut to MARVIN out in the DESERT. He is crouched on top of a SMALL CLIFF assembling SUPPLIES together. He has a wrap of ALUMINUM FOIL, a handful of PLASTIC BEADS, and a PENCIL. He crafts them together, wrapping the FOIL around the BEADS. Then he shoves the PENCIL inside)_

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

I'm making a smoke bomb. It's simple really. In the Martian Training Academy, I was taught the fine art of camouflage. Deception. Making your enemies so delirious that they can't even think straight. If you can do that…you won't have a problem getting into their _heads._ Today…my target is _Wakko…_

_(Cut to MARVIN finishing the SMOKE BOMB. He finishes wrapping the PENCIL in ALUMINUM FOIL. Then he crawls over to the other side of the CLIFF. He picks up two STICKS and rubs them together, trying to start a FIRE)_

_ (Cut back to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

I came into this game thinking that people would be logical…but I wasn't prepared for people playing based off their emotions. Wakko, in particular, has practically gone through an existential crisis trying to protect his siblings. Now, it's time to finally use that _against_ him. If I can frighten him enough, I can get into his head. I can make it even easier for him to align with me tonight…

* * *

_(Cut to a little while later. MARVIN sits on top of the SAME CLIFF. He looks down into the DESERT, watching as WAKKO approaches the WELL. MARVIN watches as he raises the BUCKET with the ROPE, dropping it down into the WATER._

_MARVIN raises his hand with the SMOKE BOMB. He steadies it carefully)_

_MARVIN_

There we go…

_ (MARVIN chucks the SMOKE BOMB._

_It goes flying through the air. It lands at WAKKO's feet. For some reason however, the SMOKE BOMB doesn't detonate. Ijust sits there)_

MARVIN

(Muttering)

Why is it always me?

_(WAKKO glances down and looks at the SMOKE BOMB. He picks it up. He sniffs it, curious, not knowing what it is)_

_MARVIN_

No. No. Don't do what I think you're doing…

_(WAKKO glances from side to side, seeing if anyone is watching. He shrugs. Then he opens up his mouth wide and eats the SMOKE BOMB. MARVIN gasps, hiding on the CLIFF, swearing under his BREATH. WAKKO rubs his stomach, displeased by the TASTE. From behind the WELL, SONIC comes running up to him)_

SONIC

Hey Wak, I thought I had the nomadic spirit here. I can't keep up with you…

WAKKO

Do you really have to follow me twenty-four seven? I mean, if you're _that _worried that I'm going to flip on you—

SONIC

Flipping - all this stuff about betraying each other, dude! I just wanted to put the bad stuff behind us, y'know? You want to go running? I got to get my six-pack back.

WAKKO

No thanks. I'm feeling a little sick…

SONIC

Yeah, you don't look so hot. What's up?

_(WAKKO's face begins to bloat. He rubs his stomach, trying to quell it. Suddenly, WAKKO belches. A TURRET of SMOKE comes out of his MOUTH from the BOMB. SONIC is shocked. Very quickly, WAKKO and SONIC are lost in the SMOKE)_

SONIC

Wakko! I told you to stop doing toon stuff!

WAKKO

I'm not! Wait, what just happened?

_(MARVIN hops down from the CLIFF, seeing his chance. He bumps into SONIC. He spins him aside, disorienting him in the SMOKE. Then he vanishes, hiding so WAKKO and SONIC can't see him. MARVIN begins to circle WAKKO. WAKKO is unable to see him)_

_(MARVIN – just like he did last round – suddenly puts on a perfect impression of YAKKO'S voice)_

MARVI

(As YAKKO)

"Don't worry, Wakko. You're just dreaming."

WAKKO

Who – what – Yakko?

MARVIN

(As YAKKO)

"It's fine. You'll wake up soon. You'll side with Marvin. And everything's going to be fine…"

WAKKO

Go away scary hypnosis smoke monster!

MARVIN

(As YAKKO)

Marvin's like _you!_ He'll understand. Cadpig hates you now. Sonic and Rita are using you.

MARVIN

(As DOT)

You don't have a friend in the world out here…

WAKKO

Wait – Dot – you're here too?

MARVIN

(As DOT)

Hey Yakko – what's life going to be like when we get back home?

MARVIN

(As YAKKO)

Back home? Gee, nothing's going to be the same anymore…

MARVIN

(As DOT)

The game destroyed us…

MARVIN

(As YAKKO)

You got that right. It didn't destroy Wakko. Not yet. But that's all right. We'll stop having fun; we'll stop messing with people. We'll just be normal…

MARVIN

(As DOT)

Boring…

MARVIN

(As YAKKO)

We'll do normal stuff…

MARVIN

(As DOT)

Like board games…

MARVIN

(As YAKKO)

And filing tax returns…

WAKKO

No! Guys! Stop! I didn't want the game to break us up! We can still goof around together! We don't have to change!

MARVIN

(As YAKKO)

What's the point, Wak? Look at us. The game's showed us how wrong we were. We fell apart. We hardly knew each other. We're too scared to know each other. Maybe we do need to change…

MARVIN

(As DOT)

And Marvin can help you change…

(SONIC pushes his way through the SMOKE. He bumps into WAKKO and pulls him aside. MARVIN backs off into the SMOKE, making sure the OTHERS don't see him)

SONIC

Wakko, come on, let me take you out of here—

WAKKO

_ (Muttering to himself)_

It's_ not_ my fault…

SONIC

Get up! Get up!

WAKKO

They didn't have to make us play this game!

SONIC

Dude, you're shaking all over! What's wrong?

WAKKO

IT'S NOT MY FAULT!

_(Suddenly, something changes in WAKKO. His eyes become dazed, electric. A crazed smile spreads across his face. It seems like he's seeing something that's no longer there. SONIC, very frightened, backs off)_

SONIC

Uh – Wakko, bro?

_(Suddenly, there's a rumbling in the sky. ANVILS, SAFES, and RUBBER CHICKENS begin to pour down from the SKY. WAKKO is frozen, a mental look still locked in his eyes. SONIC screams and jumps away, barely avoiding being squashed by a SAFE)_

SONIC

IT'S RAINING ANVILS!

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

_MARVIN_

I didn't know Wakko's limits. I didn't know what his toon powers could do to him. I pushed him to the point where…he lost control of his powers. He had a mental breakdown…

_(Cut back to the SCENE. The SMOKE has cleared. WAKKO now stands in the center of the DESERT, lost in a crazed state. His tongue is hanging out. His eyes are completely white. All around him, ANVILS, CACTUSES, and other random things fall everywhere. MARVIN is now visible after the SMOKE has cleared. SONIC turns to him, furious)_

SONIC

WHAT DID YOU DO?

MARVIN

Nothing! I just…I threw a smoke bomb!

SONIC

WHAT KIND OF STATEMENT IS THAT?

MARVIN

You Earthlings! The weakest backbones I've ever seen! Wakko – I command you! Stop!

SONIC

Get out of the way—

_(SONIC shoves MARVIN aside, ready to approach WAKKO. However, a massive REFRIGERATOR falls and lands a foot away from him. SONIC jumps back)_

_ (A few feet away, CADPIG and RITA rush into the scene, alerted by the commotion)_

CADPIG

OH MY GOD! IT'S A TOON APOCALYPSE!

RITA

What did Marvin do _now?_

MARVIN

Marvin! Marvin! Everything's Marvin's fault!

SONIC

(Looking at WAKKO)

Guys, he could hurt himself!

RITA

Well, I'm no therapist. I _scare_ therapists!

SONIC

Well, try something!

RITA

Um – Wakko, if you don't stop, I'm going to beat you as dead as a doornail!

CADPIG

_(Shoving RITA out of the way)_

Yeah, really soothing, Rita! _Ahem_. Let me try. Wakko, please find your center. Energize your spirit. Breathe in, breathe out…

_(A SAFE falls out of the SKY and crushes CADPIG. The OTHERS turn, terrified, aghast. After a moment, the door of the SAFE opens. CADPIG emerges, completely unscathed)_

CADPIG

I'm…I'm okay.

MARVIN

Sonic, lecture him! Be his friend!

SONIC

(Shoving MARVIN)

Stand back! You caused enough damage here!

_ (Very slowly, SONIC steps forward to approach WAKKO. He holds out his hands)_

SONIC

Yo, Wakko! Chill out, bro! It's me, Sonic-

RITA

(Covering her face)

Oh God, we're all going to die...

SONIC

Listen - you can't just expect everything to be the same forever. People change. Your sibs change. _You _change…

_(SONIC takes another step forward. OBJECTS are still falling all around him. WAKKO doesn't seem to acknowledge SONIC. He stares forward, eyes blank, things falling all around him)_

SONIC

Maybe the game _did_ mess you guys up. Maybe things will be different now! But c'mon –what would have been worse? Getting banged up a little out here together? Or what about this – going through life pretending you were all _okay _with each other? You're _not_.Your family has issues!

_ (He pauses, finally getting close to WAKKO. He reaches out a HAND to touch him)_

I…I know you feel like you're alone right now….but, like, when_ I_ was a kid—

RITA

Sonic, don't make this about _you!_

SONIC

I'M NOT! Look - when I was a kid, I was bullied. All the time, I worried whether people liked me. And now that I'm older – I think of who I was before, and I think of who the heck would be helping my friends if I were still ganging up on myself! It _hurts_ to be wrong about yourself...

_(He takes another step closer)_

But you, Yakko, and Dot…you guys are _scared of each other. _You're family...and you're scared of knowing each other, man. When you get home now…you're going to have to realize that things aren't perfect…

_(SONIC steps forward. He places his hand on WAKKO's shoulder. There's a tense moment. WAKKO locks eyes with him, still blank, still white. Then, something settles. The OBJECTS stop showering. A final CACTUS falls, nearly hitting RITA. She jumps out of the way. _

_After a moment, WAKKO, blinks, disoriented. He looks around, wondering what happened. Then he moans and collapses to the ground)_

WAKKO

Why…why are their anvils everywhere?

SONIC

_(Hugging WAKKO)_

He's back to normal!

RITA

Well, let's not exaggerate…

* * *

_ (Cut to WAKKO in a confessional. He is holding a pack of ICE to his head)_

WAKKO

I've never lost control of my powers before. I mean...there was one time when I was little and I was at this buffet and they mixed up the egg noodles with the tuna fish…but those were dark times...

_(He takes a breath, shuddering)_

So yeah. Marvin went Hollywood villain today.

It's weird.

Like – when I picture myself going home to our water tower – I'm_ scared_ of seeing my sibs again.

Like, this game - this was the first time in the history of ever that Yakko and Dot ever_ lost_ \- at anything. If we're going to go back to, like, harassing people and running around and being ourselves in Burbank – we'll feel fake. We'll kind of feel like losers. So…I don't know what's going to happen...

_ (Pause)_

But – like – at the same time, it's kind of liberating...

It's like – okay - say you had a pet llama - and you only let it eat apples, but then it started living with this other owner - and _that _owner only fed it grapes. Then it comes back to you and it's like, "Okay, well, this is nice and all, but where are my grapes at, owner?"

"Well, I don't _have_ any grapes, llama. I know things are different now...but I'm going to teach you to like grapes again."

_(Pause)_

Yakko and Dot are my llamas. The game tried to change them...

_(Pause)_

But after I win...we're going to eat a whole bunch of grapes...

* * *

_(Cut to the center of CAMP. WAKKO, MARVIN, and CADPIG are gathered around on the LOGS together)_

MARVIN

Y'know, after what I did to you – I find it very _hard_ to believe you want to align—

WAKKO

_(Picking up a JELLY BEAN from the GROUND)_

_Pssh._ Have a jelly bean!

MARVIN

Where'd you get that?

WAKKO

I grew them!

MARVIN

_(Pushing his hand away)_

Please...no peace offerings...

WAKKO

C'mon, I hold nothing against you-

CADPIG

_(Butting in)_

Well, I'm sorry, Wakko - this _is _kind of sketchy. Wouldn't you stand a better chance of beating Rita or Sonic?

WAKKO

Rita and Sonic have_ no_ intention of taking me to the end. They're a pair. At least with you guys – it's not like anyone's on a higher pedestal here. I feel like we're all equal…

MARVIN

_(After a moment)_

So since Rita's immune—

WAKKO

Uh-uh! No more frowning! Have a jelly bean!

_(MARVIN takes the JELLY BEAN. CADPIG and WAKKO stare at him, curious, waiting for him to eat it. MARVIN opens his mouth. He pops in the JELLY BEAN. He chews on it like he's in agonizing pain)_

WAKKO

...Yes?

MARVIN

_(Wincing)_

It's…so sugary…

CADPIG

_(Nervous)_

Do you want to spit it out?

WAKKO

Um, it's just _candy, _man-

MARVIN

_(Tripping over his words)_

I don't hate it!

_(He swallows with difficulty0_

Now…if you forgive me…well, fine. I feel the same way.

CADPIG

_(After a moment)_

So…do you want to vote out Sonic?

WAKKO

It _has _to be Sonic...

* * *

_(Cut to a few minutes later. WAKKO and CADPIG are off in the DESERT together. They are picking up RUBBER CHICKENS, cleaning up the mess that WAKKO made with his outburst)_

CADPIG

(Picking up a RUBBER CHICKEN)

You've got to get control of your powers, dude—

WAKKO

It's only happened, like, once…twice.

CADPIG

Well, you might get arrested one day.

WAKKO

(Handing her a CHICKEN)

Here, take him. Put him away.

CADPIG

It's a boy?

WAKKO

I brought him into existence. It's a boy.

CADPIG

Forget it! Look – how did you know Marvin wouldn't flip? What's stopping him from going to Sonic and Rita now and throwing you under the bus for siding with us?

WAKKO

Is he going to?

CADPIG

I'm not Marvin.

WAKKO

Well...we'll keep an eye on him…

(Pause)

CADPIG

Y'know, if you're, like, still passive-aggressive toward me—

WAKKO

Can't we just pick up chickens?

CADPIG

_You_ brought it up—

WAKKO

Look! I don't know if I can trust you now! We're in a game; we're together right now – but if you want to be friends again – it's going to take time…

CADPIG

You have enough friends! Look at all these chickens!

_(MARVIN enters the scene)_

MARVIN

Ah, I see you're salvaging the storm. Need any help?

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

I don't think Wakko's against me right now. I mean – he's hurt by me, but he came back out of desperation. Sonic and Rita are a pair. Marvin could flip to them now with the information that Wakko gave me. So – and my conscience is really screaming at me right now – but – I'm going to help chicken boy…

_(Cut back to the scene. MARVIN is away from the OTHERS, picking up CHICKENS. CADPIG turns to WAKKO. She rummages through her KNAPSACK)_

CADPIG

Here, I'm going to give you something—

WAKKO

What? Are you arresting me?

_(CADPIG pulls the FAKE IDOL out of her BAG. She hands it to WAKKO)_

CADPIG

It's a fake Idol. Show it to Marvin. Now…

_(MARVIN crosses over to the OTHERS holding a RUBBER CHICKEN)_

MARVIN

Here, I collected the last of them.

_(He notices the IDOL in WAKKO's hands)_

Wait – what's that?

WAKKO

(Catching on)

Just a knick-knack...

_(MARVIN drops the CHICKEN. He stares in shock at the Idol)_

* * *

(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)

MARVIN

After I told her everything, after I offered my allegiance – Cadpig sides with Wakko and they use an Idol to scare me into siding with them...

_(Cut to the CENTER of CAMP. SONIC and RITA are lounging in the SHELTER. SONIC, probably from the hail of OBJECTS from the WAKKO outburst, has found a GUITAR. He strums a few chords. RITA sings along half-heartedly. On the other side of the SHELTER outside, MARVIN is resting his head. SONIC and RITA are oblivious to the fact that he's there)_

RITA

_(Singing)_

_"Blackbird fly…into the light of a dark black night…"_

SONIC

You're not bad.

RITA

Yeah, I sing at night clubs.

SONIC

Wish I could stop by.

_(Awkward pause. SONIC whistles and puts the GUITAR down)_

RITA

I mean, you _could_—

SONIC

No. No. I hate performances. Plays, music, whatever. I hate sitting still...

_(Weird pause. RITA doesn't seem to want to respond)_

So…you've been singing for a while?

RITA

Yeah, I mean, it gets me out of homeless shelters—

SONIC

There you go!

(Pause)

RITA

Sonic, why don't you want to hang out with me outside the game?

SONIC

I can't.

RITA

But you can! Like, there's nothing stopping you from coming to Burbank-—

SONIC

I'm busy running—

RITA

You can't forever, dude.

SONIC

Rita – look – are you really attracted to me?

(Silence)

RITA

I did kiss you before—

SONIC

But – how much do you like me?

RITA

I don't know! I mean, I thought we were friends. That did seem like a possibility—

(SONIC picks up the GUITAR again)

Put that down!

SONIC

It's down!

RITA

Look, if I make you uncomfortable—

SONIC

You don't!

RITA

Then what is it?

SONIC

I don't know! I feel like I'm going to mess things up!

(Pause)

RITA

That was all you had to say…

SONIC

I feel like a jerk...

RITA

You should.

SONIC

(After a moment)

I mean, you still have Marvin. He's your friend— right?

RITA

Marvin used me!

_(MARVIN steps out from behind the SHELTER, obviously having heard the whole conversation)_

MARVIN

Sorry – I missed something – what did I do this time?

RITA

This discussion's over…

(RITA storms off. SONIC is left shocked, holding his GUITAR. He smiles weakly at MARVIN)

SONIC

Hey. Uh, want to hear a song?

* * *

_(Cut to the POND. RITA sits in the SHALLOW END crying softly. She hugs her knees, struggling to stop. MARVIN crawls up behind her with a handful of TISSUES. RITA is startled)_

MARVIN

Here, take a tissue…

RITA

Can you please get out of my life?

MARVIN

You're like a magnet. You latch onto people. You never even give them a second thought before you do it. Here, take a tissue, take it—

RITA

Don't _talk_ to me, Marvin…

MARVIN

I saw you were crying—

RITA

What are you trying to do? Use my vote? Pull me into another alliance?!

MARVIN

This isn't about the game—

RITA

Get real—

MARVIN

What? What did I do?

RITA

You're fake!

MARVIN

I don't want you to feel bad—

RITA

Shut up! Stop pretending to be human! Everything you do to me – it's _fake!_ You're never going to use me again…

_(A stiff silence. MARVIN glares at her. He seems to struggle for a moment, thinking of what to say. After a moment, he speaks)_

MARVIN

Sonic's going to vote you out tonight…

* * *

_ (Cut back to the CENTER of CAMP. SONIC is still sitting in the SHELTER with his GUITAR. He strums CHORDS, trying to come up with lyrics to a SONG)_

SONIC

_"Rita, I'm sorry…"_ Um, let me think…

_(MARVIN reenters)_

MARVIN

Hello Sonic…

SONIC

Hey, I'm writing an apology song... What rhymes with Rita?

MARVIN

Cheetah?

SONIC

_"I'm sorry…like a cheetah's sorry after it – ate something."_ What do you think?

MARVIN

Put that down. I need to talk to you—

SONIC

(Putting the GUITAR down)

Hey, I didn't mean to make her cry, dude! I mean – she kissed me last night, she started following me around everywhere! !It's not that I didn't like her!

MARVIN

Then what was it?

SONIC

You can_ like_ people without loving them—

MARVIN

Well, do you love anybody then?

SONIC

I don't know! I...I have enough people in my life! Why would Rita just assume things like that?

MARVIN

Well, here's some news. They're going to vote you out tonight…

(Pause)

SONIC

What?

MARVIN

I didn't want to bring it up but—

SONIC

Dude, I saved Wakko today! For real?

MARVIN

(A little uneasy)

But I_ flipped._ Wakko, Cadpig…they wanted me to vote with them...but I'd rather go to the end with you…

_(SONIC picks up his GUITAR, ready to smash it)_

SONIC

STUPID GAME!

MARVIN

Sonic-

SONIC

So what, you, me, and Rita blindside Wakko?

MARVIN

If that's what you want…

SONIC

He flipped on us. Yeah, let's do it._ Wakko._

_(MARVIN offers out a HAND. SONIC shakes it stiffly. After a moment, MARVIN takes a breath and starts to walk away. SONIC watches him. He calls out to him again)_

SONIC

Hey Marvin – look – I feel like – I'm…I'm going to lose my mind out here. Can you just, like…can you keep an eye on me? Run with me? Maybe? Sometimes? I...I feel like my brain's shutting down…

MARVIN

I don't think you'll have to worry much longer…

_(MARVIN shakes his head and walks away. SONIC looks perplexed. He goes back to strumming his GUITAR)_

SONIC

(Singing)

_"Rita…you're like pita…bread."_

_(From the other side of CAMP, WAKKO enters. SONIC ducks inside the SHELTER, making sure that WAKKO can't see him. He watches curiously. WAKKO makes sure nobody is looking. Then he sighs and kneels down beside a CLUSTER of ROCKS)_

WAKKO

Well…no need for this anymore…

_(WAKKO reaches into his SHIRT. He pulls out the FAKE IDOL and buries it under the ROCK. Then he hurries out the way he came. SONIC places his GUITAR down. He makes sure nobody is looking. Then he hurries out into the open. He kneels down by the ROCK. He lifts it up and looks inside)_

SONIC

_(Muttering to himself)_

Dude…

* * *

_(Cut to TRIBAL COUNCIL later that night. The CONTESTANTS enter with their TORCHES. They lay them down against the RACK and take their seats on the LOGS. The HOST is waiting at his podium, smiling at all of them)_

HOST

Well, here we are. It's been a long hard go…but one of you five is going to be a millionaire. At the same time, one of you tonight is reaching the end of the line. Sonic…why do you have a guitar with you?

SONIC

I'm going to play a song for someone…

HOST

Um…what?

SONIC

(Excited)

Yeah, after the votes are read. You'll see. Just roll with it…

HOST

Okay, well...you heard the man. It's time to vote. Cadpig, you're up…

* * *

(Cut to CADPIG in the VOTING BOOTH)

CADPIG

Sonic, you're a nice guy. I mean, you're one of the only people here who didn't turn into a really crappy person playing Survivor. Actually...I'm not sure if you ever realized you were playing_ Survivor._ But...bye.

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional)_

WAKKO

Thanks for talking me out of insane mode today. Um, but you're basically Rita's puppet right now. I have to cut your strings before it's too late...

_(Cut to MARVIN in the VOTING BOOTH. He looks very upset)_

MARVIN

I don't know if I have a chance going forward. But...you attacked my character today. If you last longer than me, I'm not going to take your words lying down. You've caused many people a great amount of pain …and it's time somebody put you in your place. Let's see who Sonic believes voted for him...

_(Cut to SONIC in the VOTING BOOTH)_

SONIC

I don't think I have any feelings for you. But going forward…it's my job to keep you safe. This song tonight...is called "Sonic's Apology…"

_(Cut to RITA in the VOTING BOOTH)_

RITA

Sonic...never talk to me again…

* * *

(Cut back to the TRIBAL COUNCIL AREA. The HOST enters with the URN of VOTES and stands at his PODIUM)

HOST

If anyone has a hidden immunity Idol and wants to play it…now would be the time to do so…

(A moment's pause. SONIC smiles and fishes into his KNAPSACK. He stands up and crosses over to the HOST. The OTHERS – even MARVIN – are completely horrified. SONIC turns to the OTHERS, oblivious to all of this)

SONIC

Yeah, I don't think I need this tonight…but I'm not taking any chances….

(SONIC crosses over and hands the IDOL to the HOST)

HOST

The rules of "Survivor" state that when a hidden immunity Idol is played, all votes cast for that person will not count. This is…

SONIC

(Picking up his GUITAR)

Hold up, hold up, I want to play my song now…

HOST

But Sonic, I'm not done—!

SONIC

(Strumming a few CHORDS)

Yeah, neither am I. I'm just getting started…

RITA

(Enraged)

Sonic, what the hell are you doing?

SONIC

(Turning to the OTHERS)

All right. I'm not, like, a touchy-feely kind of guy. I'm more like a go-and-getty kind of guy. But I've done some thinking. I made some mistakes. So…this song goes out to a special girl…and I hope she takes everything I say to heart…

CADPIG

(Astounded)

Wakko, hold my hand. I might throw up…

(SONIC strums the GUITAR and starts to sing)

SONIC

_"Rita, I'm sorry._

_Like a cheetah…that's also sorry._

_Like pita bread…that's also sorry._

_I hope we can still be friends…_

_Rita, I'm sorry."_

(SONIC bows awkwardly. He stares at RITA and the OTHERS, waiting for a reaction. All their reactions are the same –their mouths hang open in shock. Even the HOST is astounded)

SONIC

(Finally speaking)

So…I…I really like the rhyme scheme I used-

HOST

Um, Sonic?

SONIC

_(Turning to face the HOST)_

Hey, I'm kind of in the middle of something, dude—

HOST

This is not a hidden immunity Idol…

(The HOST tosses the FAKE IMMUNITY IDOL into the FIRE. SONIC is left horrified, holding his GUITAR. He stares blankly out at the OTHERS)

RITA

Sonic, what are you doing?! I thought you tried to vote me out tonight—!

SONIC

I thought you were voting to _save_ me—!

RITA

What?!

HOST

I will now read the votes…

* * *

**FIRST VOTE**

**WAKKO**

**SECOND VOTE**

**WAKKO**

**THIRD VOTE**

**SONIC**

**FOURTH VOTE**

**SONIC**

**FIFTH VOTE**

**SONIC**

**Twelfth person voted out and the sixth member of our Jury…**

**SONIC**

* * *

_(Cut to the TRIBES' reaction. WAKKO and CADPIG look concerned, realizing they were clearly out of the loop about something. MARVIN, suddenly, no longer looks triumphant. He looks frightened, almost like he'd like nothing more than to disappear. RITA stares at the VOTE, horrified, realizing what's happened)_

RITA

Sonic, it was Marvin! He told me! Marvin convinced me to flip—!

SONIC

_(Angry)_

What, so you're just that paranoid?! You believed him?

RITA

Do you _not_ believe me?

HOST

All vote discussions will be disallowed here until Final Tribal Council. Sonic, please, make your exit—

_(SONIC rolls his eyes. He steps forward and hands RITA his GUITAR, giving it to her wordlessly. Then he storms over to the RACK, collecting his TORCH. He crosses over to the HOST and stands in front of him. The HOST holds the TORCH SNUFFER)_

HOST

Sonic…the tribe has spoken…

(The HOST puts out SONIC's TORCH)

Time for you to go…

SONIC

(Turning back to the OTHERS)

All right guys, fifth place. No hard feelings. I had a good time. If you make it to the loser lodge party, I'll buy you a drink. Time for the hedgehog to high tail it…

_(SONIC turns to walk down the HALLWAY, refusing to look at RITA. He vanishes into the dark and exits the game for good)_

RITA

_(To MARVIN)_

So do you have anything to say for yourself?

_ (No response from MARVIN. He just stares out at the FIRE)_

Hey- Marvin—

_(MARVIN turns to face RITA. For a second, it seems like he's about to yell at her.. But when his voice comes out – something is different. For the first time, MARVIN sounds completely broken)_

MARVIN

You…you got exactly what you deserved…

RITA

You just declared a war, buddy…

HOST

Throughout the game, you've shown different sides of yourself. You can play with your heart. You can play with your head. Tonight, we learned that emotional people can play logically…and logical people…when they're on the bottom…can be just as emotional. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp. Welcome to the Final Four…

* * *

**VOTE TALLY**

* * *

**SONIC voted for WAKKO**

**MARVIN voted for WAKKO**

**RITA voted for SONIC**

**CADPIG voted for SONIC**

**WAKKO voted for SONIC**

* * *

A/N: Oh, Sonic. The less I say about your game the better.

I'm happy he made it as far as he did. Sonic's an interesting example of people who enter Survivor with very limited awareness of the game. They come in not wanting to backstab anyone, relying on being nice to everybody, but it just ends up blowing up in their faces. With that being said, I liked writing Sonic. I think he had an interesting story. He was legitimately the only person that was nice to Rita_ (and he came in a time where she was really starting to behave differently)_ but it ended up being the exact reason he finally got voted out. I didn't always intend Sonic to be the comic relief of the story, but he kind of fell into that role. I guess when everyone's running around being strategic, the guy who's just floating around is where more of the humor's going to come from.

I think it was pretty clear that Sonic was never going to win, but I hope you enjoyed what he added to the story - especially since he had a really different point-of-view on the game than a lot of the other characters. The part where he got tricked by Wakko early on into inadvertently sending Norbert home was one of my favorite scenes in the story.

Stay tuned in the very near future for the finale! Rita, Marvin, Wakko, or Cadpig will become our Sole Survivor!


	30. In The Valley Of Death, Part I

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

When we got back, I thought Rita was going to bite Marvin's head off for voting out Sonic…but…she was kind of..restrained about it...

_(Cut to the center of CAMP. WAKKO and CADPIG stand on the SIDE. They watch frightened as RITA approaches MARVIN. MARVIN sits in the SHELTER and plays with the YO-YO from before. He is transfixed on it. He ignores RITA)_

RITA

D'you see this, guys? He's _scared_ of me!

_(Watching the Yo-Yo)_

Up and down, up and down….You don't know any tricks?

_(No response from MARVIN)_

Yo, Marvin – hey –

MARVIN

_(Quietly)_

Take it….

_(RITA takes the YO-YO. She flings it up two feet and catches it behind her BACK)_

RITA

_(Smirking)_

You like?

MARVIN

I…I don't want to talk…

_(MARVIN crawls into the SHELTER. He lays down, hugging himself, looking in the other direction. RITA stares at him from outside)_

RITA

I'd love to be able to hate you…

_(She pauses. No response from MARVIN)_

But I'll move on. You won't...

_(Pause)_

Your move…Marvin the Martian.

_(She rolls up the YO-YO. She tosses it into the SHELTER. It lands next to MARVIN)_

One day…maybe you'll beat me at something…

_(No response from MARVIN. RITA waits for a moment...hoping he'll respond. Then she walks away. _

_A moment's pause. _

_MARVIN reaches his hand out. He snatches the YO-YO and holds it to his chest. He closes his eyes and dozes off)_

* * *

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional)_

WAKKO

I might be going insane. But I mean - who's to say that's _bad?_ Crazy people are _really_ motivated!

_(Cut to somewhere off in the DESERT. WAKKO has lain out a PICNIC BLANKET. He is the only one there. There are old TEA CUPS set up with FOUR DIFFERENT PLACEMATS)_

_(Cut back to WAKKO in a confessional. He is holding his hands to his head)_

WAKKO

Focus! Focus! You will not fall victim to the woulda-coulda-shouldas…and the whatchamacallits! But who should I align with? How am I going to make the finals? How? Think, think, _think…_

(Pause)

Wait! I know! I…I don't trust myself enough to listen to myself right now! Yes! That's right! So maybe -wait - if I made up imaginary friends – then I'd be able to listen to them!

(Pause. He smiles)

Man, I'm good…

_(Cut back to the scene. WAKKO sips WATER from his TEACUP. He seems to be imagining other people at the PICNIC. He pours WATER into one of the TEACUPS)_

WAKKO

There you go, Eleanor Roosevelt!

_(RITA enters the scene from the DESERT. She stares at WAKKO'S PICNIC)_

RITA

Um, Wakko …?

WAKKO

Hi Rita!

RITA

(Sitting down)

What the hell is this?

WAKKO

Sit, sit! I'll introduce you!

(He gestures to the first PLACEMAT)

_Ahem._ Teddy Roosevelt…former president of the United States…

(He gestures to the next PLACEMAT)

His lovely wife Eleanor…

(He points to the last PLACEMAT)

And Nicola Adams! The first woman to win a gold medal in boxing!

RITA

Are you high?

WAKKO

(Handing a CUP to RITA)

Drink your tea. But don't slurp it please….

RITA

I don't want tea….

WAKKO

But Rita, the president's here—

RITA

He's dead!

WAKKO

_(Hugging the imaginary person)_

Don't listen to her, Teddy. Your wife still believes in you…

RITA

I'm…I'm just here to see where your head's at…

(CADPIG enters looking sprightly. She carries a BOOM BOX with her)

CADPIG

Sup, brethren! I found this boom box after the toon apocalypse yesterday! I learned how to break dance! You want to _see?_

RITA

Um - no…? Maybe never?

CADPIG

What's wrong? Am I left out of your secret meeting here?

RITA

Things go on you don't have to hear, little lady…

CADPIG

Well, if you're scheming alone, I've got to be on top of it. Now check it!

_(CADPIG clicks a BUTTON on the BOOM BOX. Eighties techno music plays. She starts to moon-walk back and forth) _

CADPIG

_"Do the Cadpig. Do the Cadpig. Do the Cadpig..." _

_(CADPIG shuffles too far to the left. She trips over WAKKO's BLANKET. She lands right in his LAP. They glare at each other)_

CADPIG

Um, morning…?

WAKKO

You don't have to eavesdrop…

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional)_

WAKKO

Once, Cadpig and I were two peas in a pod. Then she tried to manipulate me – and now – we're, like, two angry lobsters fighting each other to death in boiling water...

_(Cut back to the scene. Disgusted, CADPIG crawls out of WAKKO's lap)_

CADPIG

Whoa, whoa, don't get emotional again, buddy! I don't want to collect rubber chickens!

WAKKO

(Standing up)

Come Eleanor…come Teddy. Let's pick berries in the garden...

RITA

Wait -

WAKKO

(To RITA)

We'll talk at camp, Rita…

_(WAKKO exits. CADPIG looks a little embarrassed. She awkwardly raises a TEACUP to RITA)_

CADPIG

So..um...toast to the Final Four?

RITA

(Glaring at CADPIG)

I challenge you to a dance-off.

CADPIG

Huh?

RITA

You want to follow me twenty-four seven? _Fine._ We'll make the most of it…

_(She turns on the BOOM BOX. Music plays again)_

You got game?

CADPIG

Don't mess with the spots...you'll get the fangs...

_(RITA starts to moon-walk back and forth. CADPIG crouches down and starts to spin around on her head)_

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional) _

RITA

Cadpig could probably beat me. Hell, Wakko could too…

_(Pause)_

Then...there's Marvin. I've hid in his shadow…but only a villain can beat a villain…

* * *

_(Cut back to CAMP. MARVIN sits near the FIRE, munching away on some BERRIES. He is poking something with a STICK. _

_The camera zooms in to reveal that he has tossed RITA's YO-YO in the FIRE. He pokes at it feebly. _

_RITA enters. She glances at the YO-YO, a little apprehensive. Then she sits down beside him. MARVIN tenses up, trying to ignore her. Then she leans in close)_

RITA

_(Whispering)_

What would you say about a Final Two Deal?

_(MARVIN turns to her in shock. He starts to choke on the BERRY. RITA hops up and starts pressing against his STOMACH)_

RITA

Marvin, breathe-

MARVIN

_(Gagging)_

It's lodged...in my windpipe—

RITA

Hang on...

_(RITA slams MARVIN on the ground. She starts sucking the air out of his mouth. CADPIG enters from behind the SHELTER. She stares at them blankly)_

CADPIG

I...I don't think I'm going to spy on people anymore...

_(CADPIG walks off. RITA slams her fist on MARVIN's chest. The BERRY comes flying out. MARVIN breathes and rolls over)_

RITA

Chew your food. What are you, a baby?

MARVIN

What is this about a Final Two? I voted out your best friend!

RITA

It's a game, Marvin. We've been at each other's throats. I'm the rat now. You're the snake. I want to see who comes out on top...

MARVIN

Is this a ploy? Because if this is a ploy...

_(RITA juts out her fangs. She closes in on MARVIN's neck and kisses it, pressing in lightly with her teeth. MARVIN yelps out in pain. RITA pulls back. She leaves a very light mark on MARVIN's neck) _

RITA

There. _That's _how I leave warnings…

_(No response from MARVIN. Bewildered, he massages his NECK) _

Well...?

MARVIN

You really think you can beat me, Rita?

RITA

I like a challenge…

MARVIN

Deal...

_(RITA nods. She glances at MARVIN's neck now, a little regretful) _

RITA

Just...put cold water on that….

_(RITA takes off. CADPIG steps out from the SHELTER, clearly having heard all of this. She coughs and steps forward. MARVIN is startled at the sight of her) _

CADPIG

Oh snap, you threw Rita's Yo-Yo in the fire?

MARVIN

_(Quietly)_

The string broke...

CADPIG

Here, I'll fix it….

_(CADPIG crosses over to the FIRE. She picks up a STICK. She swings it back like a GOLF CLUB. She swings and hits the YO-YO. It flies, fully engulfed in flames, onto MARVIN's head)_

MARVIN

MY HEAD! MY HEAD'S ON FIRE!

CADPIG

I'll save you! I'll save you—

(CADPIG grabs a BUCCKET of WATER by the CAMPFIRE. She dumps it on top of MARVIN. He's completely drenched. He glares at her)

CADPIG

Um – sorry? Here, let's get you dried off—

MARVIN

Enough with this! At my training academy, you'd be locked in solitary confinement! You're a loon! A menace! Don't play with fire anymore...

CADPIG

Yeah, yeah - I heard you the first time—

MARVIN

I have a bald spot now!

CADPIG

You're already bald!

MARVIN

Just…don't let it happen again...

_(MARVIN storms away. He picks up a TOWEL near the SHELTER and starts to dry himself off. CADPIG studies him closely. She reaches into her KNAPSACK. She pulls out TWO BEADED BRACLETS. Then she walks over to the SHELTER and sits down next to MARVIN)_

CADPIG

I wanted to give you something.

(CADPIG hands MARVIN one of the BRACELETS)

MARVIN

What is this?

CADPIG

It's a friendship bracelet. Dot taught me how to make them…

MARVIN

A friendship…bracelet?

CADPIG

Well, go on. Put it on. I have one too.

(She places hers on. She slides MARVIN's onto his wrist)

Now...we're officially friends...

(RITA reenters from behind the SHELTER. She glances in and stares at them)

RITA

Am I missing out on something here?

CADPIG

(Starting to crawl out)

I shouldn't be here….

MARVIN

Cadpig gave me a friendship bracelet.

RITA

She what?

CADPIG

No Rita, it's a high-propane explosive. What do you think?

RITA

(After a moment)

Get some rest, guys…

(RITA shakes her head and walks away)

MARVIN

Why are you giving this to me?

CADPIG

Well, after what happened...when we were in exile together...I don't know, do you want it?

MARVIN

Are you making a Final Two Deal?

CADPIG

That was part of the bargain—

MARVIN

Then keep it.

CADPIG

Huh?

MARVIN

I've been lied to enough. I know you all want to vote me out next….

CADPIG

I'm being sincere...

MARVIN

_(Sarcastically)_

I'll believe you the day you bring me a shooting star from the sky...

_(Cut to CADPIG's face. Her eyes light up)_

* * *

_(Cut to CADPIG walking out in the DESERT. She drags a WOODEN LADDER behind her, probably used in the construction of the SHELTER. In her other hand, she holds a BUG-CATCHING NET. The SKY is full of STARS. She looks very determined)_

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

Everyone burned bridges. We're all threats to each other. No matter what…

_(Pause)_

It's not the point if I_ like_ Marvin or not. With the way I feel about everyone…if I have to sit in front of an angry Jury…I'd just rather do it with Marvin…

_(She pauses)_

So first…I have to catch him a shooting star…

_(Cut to CADPIG jumping up and down on top of the LADDER. She swats at the SKY, trying to grab a STAR hundreds of miles above her)_

* * *

_(Cut to the following morning. We capture an AERIEL SHOT of an enormous CLIFF out in the DESERT. There is a BROKEN JET hanging off the edge of the CLIFF. Four COLORED PARACHUTES - white for CADPIG, green for MARVIN, grey for RITA, and blue for WAKKO - dangle from the JET. The HOST stands on an elevated platform at the very edge of the CLIFF)_

HOST

COME ON IN GUYS!

_(RITA, CADPIG, MARVIN, and WAKKO make their way out of a thicket of BUSHES. They stand on a PURPLE MAT, ready for instructions)_

HOST

What do you think, Wakko? Do you get vertigo?

WAKKO

Nah…and I've seen that movie like a hundred times too…

RITA

That's not what he meant…

HOST

In any case, welcome to today's immunity challenge. First thing's first. Rita…time to take back your immunity...

_(The HOST takes the NECKLACE from RITA. She crosses back to the OTHERS)_

HOST

Once again, immunity is back up for grabs. Here's how it's going to work. You'll each be strapped to one of the four parachutes dangling from the edge of this airliner. You will hold on to the straps above you for dear life. If you let go…the parachute will detach and you will plummet to the ground below. Last one standing wish immunity...safe at Tribal Council. One step closer to pleading your case for one million dollars. Survivors ready? Let's get started...

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. The FOUR CONTESTANTS are strapped into their respective PARACHUTES. They dangle one hundred feet above the ground. The HOST surveys the CHALLENGE nearby standing on the PLATFORM)_

HOST

This challenge is on...

_(MARVIN quickly locks himself into a comfortable position. He closes his eyes, zoning out the OTHERS. RITA wiggles her toes in the air, gauging the gigantic drop beneath her. CADPIG swings back and forth, humming something under her breath. WAKKO starts to swing as well. He kicks his leg like a CHIMPANZEE. He makes a monkey noise)_

MARVIN

What was that?

WAKKO

A monkey….

_(CADPIG shrieks like a DOLPHIN. The OTHERS stare at her blankly)_

CADPIG

A dolphin.

_(Everyone still stares)_

What? They eat monkeys!

MARVIN

They do not.

CADPIG

How do you know?

MARVIN

Because they don't!

CADPIG

They're carnivorous.

MARVIN

Are you being serious?

CADPIG

Uh, yeah—

MARVIN

Cadpig—

CADPIG

_(Singing)_

"I know something Marvin doesn't; I know something Marvin doesn't…"

_(CADPIG playfully kicks her legs at MARVIN. MARVIN reaches out to stop her. His OTHER HAND slips on the PARACHUTE. For a moment, he falls. Then he snags back on with his OTHER HAND. He's left dangling with ONE HAND)_

HOST

MARVIN! VERY CLOSE CALL!

MARVIN

TELL HER TO CHECK HER SCIENCE!

RITA

This is hilarious…

CADPIG

I'm sorry, Marvin…

HOST

Cadpig…why do you think Marvin's upset?

CADPIG

(Sadly)

I won't bother him anymore.…

MARVIN

(Muttering under his breath)

One million dollars, one million dollars…

* * *

_(Cut to some time later. The CONTESTANTS are still dangling. Their arms look very worn out. They adjust a little, switching position. The HOST surveys them from the top of the CLIFF)_

HOST

Fifteen minutes in. This could go on for a very long time…

WAKKO

_(Singing)_

"_Baton Rouge, Lousiana…Indianapolis, Indiana…and Columbus is the capitol of Ohio…"_

CADPIG

What are you doing?

WAKKO

Singing. Calming my nerves…

CADPIG

_(After a moment)_

"_Cruella DeVille, Cruella DeVille…If she doesn't scare you, no evil thing will…"_

WAKKO

_(Trying to drown her out)_

"There's Montgomery, Alabama….next to Helena, Montana…"

CADPIG

"_She's like a spider waiting for the killllllll…"_

MARVIN

WILL YOU TWO PLEASE BE QUIET?

WAKKO

Sing, Marvin!

MARVIN

No!

WAKKO

Please!

MARVIN

Not if my life depended on it—

WAKKO

Okay, well, you lost my Jury vote…

RITA

Stop it...both of you…

MARVIN

Fine. Fine. Petulant children…

(Singing quietly)

"Together at last. Together forever…we're tying a knot…we never can sever. I…I don't need sunshine now…to turn my skies to blue…I don't need…anything…but you…"

(Astounded pause)

WAKKO

(After a moment)

Let's…let's never talk about that again.

CADPIG

Sounds good…

RITA

Yep.

MARVIN

(Snapping)

I mean, you asked for it!

(WAKKO cringes. He proceeds to flip upside-down on the STRAPS. He hangs upside-down. He presses his HANDS to his EARS, blocking out the OTHERS' voices)

WAKKO

(Muttering to himself)

I know, Eleanor, I'm trying.….

CADPIG

Who?

RITA

(Adjusting her weight)

His imaginary friend...

CADPIG

(To RITA)

Don't you sing at night clubs, Rita?

RITA

I'm too dehydrated…

WAKKO

(Quietly)

We're better singers…

RITA

Say what?!

WAKKO

Nothing. Just dangling….

MARVIN

(To RITA)

He's only trying to provoke you…

RITA

_(She starts to sing)_

"_Don't tell me not to live...j__ust sit and putter. __Life's candy and the sun's __a ball of butter. __Don't bring around a cloud __to rain on my paraaaaaade..."_

_(RITA takes her hand off the STRAP. She makes a dramatic gesture with her hand. She slips. RITA's PARACHUTE detaches. She proceeds to fall one-hundred feet to the ground below)_

RITA

(Falling)

CURSE YOU, WAKKO WARNER!

WAKKO

(Muttering to himself)

Thank you, Eleanor….

MARVIN

(Muttering to himself)

One-million dollars….one-million dollars...

* * *

_(Cut to half an hour later. MARVIN, CADPIG, and WAKKO are still dangling. They look exhausted)_

HOST

We're coming up to half an hour. Nobody has moved an inch…

_(A GIANT MOSQUITO lands on CADPIG's nose. It starts to suck her blood)_

MARVIN

Cadpig, there's a mosquito on your nose…

CADPIG

I don't harm living creatures.

MARVIN

Please.

CADPIG

He's my pet. His name shall be Simon. Hello Simon…

MARVIN

He's sucking your blood….

CADPIG

He's just kissing me…

_(WAKKO's LEGS are starting to give way. He shifts himself upside-down again, clinging back on his with his ARMS. He shakes one of them, trying to get the sensation back)_

MARVIN

(To WAKKO)

Look at you. You're a pretzel now...

WAKKO

Don't psyche me out…

MARVIN

Do you think you'd be able to beat the girls in a Final Two?

CADPIG

(Butting in)

Um, you have no way of knowing that-?

MARVIN

Cadpig…you blindsided Dodger. And Rita was a valuable swing vote throughout the merge. What's Wakko done? Make rubber chickens fall from the sky? You could both beat him….

WAKKO

Did you say I looked like a pretzel before?

_(WAKKO flips upside down again. He locks his LEGS under his ARMS like a CONTORTIONIST)_

MARVIN

You're really that against going to the end with me?

WAKKO

(Counting)

Let's see…you sent home Katz, Courage, Dot, Timon, Dodger, Sonic-

MARVIN

I'll just have to win this on my own...

_(WAKKO shuffles to the side. His HAT falls off his HEAD and plummets to the GROUND)_

MARVIN

Without your hat, you look just like your brother...

WAKKO

Good….

* * *

_(Cut to an hour into the competition .Everyone is barely hanging on now. WAKKO adjusts his grip, trying to wipe off the sweat. MARVIN takes a deep breath. He shakes his feet, trying to get the feeling back. CADPIG, for some reason, seems very out-of-it. She is very pale. The GIANT MOSQUITO is still sucking her blood)_

_HOST_

Coming up to the hour mark. Fatigue is setting in. Wakko and Marvin…still in a pretty good place. Cadpig…starting to look very woozy…

WAKKO

Cadpig, are you all right?.

CADPIG

I'm...I'm spending time with Simon...

WAKKO

Wait – wait – he's sucked all your blood!

CADPIG

(Totally out of it)

Oh, don't insult him, Wakko. He'd…he'd be better at this game than you'll _ever_ be! Simon…Simon would vote everyone off! Simon can sing and dance!

MARVIN

You're delirious….

WAKKO

Marvin, swat it. Go on-

MARVIN

(Trying to hit the MOSQUITO)

What does it look like I'm doing?

(MARVIN tries to swat the MOSQUITO off CADPIG's NOSE. In the process, he kicks CADPIG's LEG. The MOSQUITO buzzes off and flies away. CADPIG is bewildered. She looks around, confused, disoriented)

CADPIG

Huh? What? Where?

(CADPIG lets go. Her PARACHUTE opens. She plummets to the ground below)

MARVIN

(After a moment)

That was an accident!

* * *

_(A montage ensues. The sun eclipses over the CLIFF. WAKKO and MARVIN struggle to hold their body weight. We see shots of WAKKO's face flushed in sweat. MARVIN adjusts his fingers over and over, trying to stop them from slipping off. We come to a single shot of the two of them hanging beside one another)_

MARVIN

It's time to strike a bargain.

WAKKO

No.

MARVIN

Are you aware of what a peace treaty is?

WAKKO

I don't speak your language...

MARVIN

Let _go,_ Wakko…

WAKKO

Why don't you?

MARVIN

I won't vote you out.

WAKKO

Then I'll offer the same deal—

MARVIN

That's not how it works!

WAKKO

(Adjusting his grip)

I'll step down for a candy apple with gummy worms…

(WAKKO's HAND slips. He flings himself upside-down. His TAIL wraps around the BAR. He's left dangling upside-down)

MARVIN

Now you're a possum….

WAKKO

(Muttering)

Happy place, happy place, happy place...

* * *

_(Cut to half an hour later. They've now been hanging for two hours. WAKKO cringes as the SUNLIGHT burns on his face. MARVIN shakes his legs back and forth, trying to keep his blood circulating)_

HOST

We're at the two hour mark…and Wakko and Marvin both look exhausted…

MARVIN

(Suddenly speaking)

Hey Wakko, do you want to hear a joke?

WAKKO

You _can't._ You're allergic to fun...

MARVIN

It's a pun...

WAKKO

No – wait – you fiend! Puns are my weakness!

MARVIN

I know.

WAKKO

Please…don't be malicious—

MARVIN

Any more malicious than forcing me to sing? Let's see...what did the big tomato say to the little tomato…when he was lagging behind?

WAKKO

No! I won't laugh. I won't laugh...

MARVIN

I'll do it.

WAKKO

Don't.

MARVIN

I will.

WAKKO

Try me. Go. I won't laugh…

MARVIN

_(After a moment)_

Ketchup...

_(WAKKO's cheeks bloat. He struggles not to laugh)_

_MARVIN_

_Come on…_

_(WAKKO's TAIL detaches. He goes into hysterics in mid-air, cracking up. His PARACHUTE opens. WAKKO plummets to the ground, his laugh echoing through the AIR. MARVIN gives a SALUTE to the CAMERA. He lets go. His PARACHUTE detaches)_

HOST

THAT'S IT! MARVIN WINS IMMUNITY!

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. The CONTESTANTS all stand on the top of the CLIFF again. They applaud as MARVIN crosses over to the HOST. The HOST clips the IMMUNITY NECKLACE around his NECK)_

HOST

That's it! For the third time, Marvin wins immunity! Safe at Tribal Council, guaranteed a one in three shot at a million dollars! Wakko, what happened up there?

WAKKO

(Laughing on the ground)

I can't...stop...laughing...

HOST

All right. Well, tonight at Tribal Council, this journey in the valley of death ends for one of you. Somebody is getting the boot. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp...


	31. In The Valley Of Death, Part II

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional)_

WAKKO

I _know_ I should be focusing on the game. I _know._ But I wanted to talk to Cadpig. I mean, I do need her to align with me – that's one thing –but I'm just tired of us hating each other now. I mean…everyone's so serious...

_(Cut to later that night. CADPIG stands out in the middle of the DESERR. She has a HAMMER and is working hard on the LADDER that she had earlier. It is now much taller and she has attached multiple sections and planks of wood. The whole thing is a teetering mess)_

CADPIG

(Mocking MARVIN)

_'Blah, I'm Marvin. I can't accept loyalty. I need a star…"_

_(WAKKO enters at the BOTTOM. He crosses over to the LADDER, curious, concerned)_

WAKKO

(Calling up)

Whatcha doing?

CADPIG

I'm building a ladder…

WAKKO

Why?

CADPIG

I need a shooting star…

WAKKO

Why?

_(CADPIG doesn't respond. She just keeps hammering. WAKKO shrugs. He starts to scale the opposite side of the LADDER. The whole THING teeters back and forth. He smiles at CADPIG when she reaches the top, his tongue hanging out. She tries to ignore him)_

WAKKO

Do you want to come catch fireflies?

CADPIG

No.

(A FIREFLY buzzes by. WAKKO reaches out and catches it in his PALM)

WAKKO

I got one!

CADPIG

I thought you hated me...

WAKKO

I mean – hate's a strong word – isn't it?

CADPIG

You lost immunity. Why are you smiling?

WAKKO

C'mon, fireflies, on the house-

CADPIG

Who_ are_ you, Wakko?

WAKKO

What do you mean?

CADPIG

I mean - I like you when you're like this. I do. This is better than…y'know, who you've been recently. But…how can I trust you if you keep changing on me?

WAKKO

Look, I never wanted friction between us…

CADPIG

I just can't trust kindness anymore…

WAKKO

(Pointing to himself)

Look - this is who I've always been!

(He trails off, not sure what to say)

I…I just want to be your friend again. C'mon – can we catch fireflies?

CADPIG

I'll let you know when I reach Neptune…

(CADPIG attaches another level and keeps climbing. WAKKO looks dejected. He shakes his head and starts to climb down)

* * *

_(Cut to the center of CAMP. MARVIN is laying in the HAMMOCK by the SHELTER. RITA kneels by the FIRE, feeding STICKS into it)_

MARVIN

_(Breaking the silence)_

How do you think I'd fare against Wakko or Cadpig?

RITA

They'd decimate you.

MARVIN

Maybe they would…but not as bad as I'm going to decimate you…

RITA

Only a villain can beat a villain, Marvin…

_(RITA glares at MARVIN and walks away. MARVIN yawns. He gets up out of the HAMMOCK and wanders off._

_A moment's pause._

_Suddenly, WAKKO swings down from the RAFTERS of the SHELTER. He was hanging upside down there like a MONKEY. He flips upside down and hits the FLOOR)_

WAKKO

_ (Muttering to himself)_

Faboo…

* * *

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional)_

WAKKO

Rita and Marvin are planning to kill each other. In the Final Two. I mean…at least before_ I_ heard about it…

_(Cut to the outskirts of CAMP. WAKKO is crouched on the ground. He has SUPPLIES around him - A ROPE, some FRUIT SCRAPS, some BEADS, MACARONI SHELLS, and some WHITE PAINT. He is assembling some kind of ART PROJECT together)_

_(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional. He now holds a terrible-looking SHOOTING STAR. It is made out of MACARONI, DRIED FRUIT, and BEADS. It looks like something a kindergarten could have made)_

WAKKO

A shooting star! I'll give it to Cadpig - just like she wanted - and then she'll align with me!

_(He holds the STAR up to the CAMERA)_

I didn't have to use my _powers_ either!

_(A big CLUMP of the MACARONI falls off. WAKKO just smiles)_

* * *

(Cut to WAKKO walking through the DESERT. He holds a BOX in front of him, presumably carrying the SHOOTING STAR. He sings thoughtfully to himself)

WAKKO

(Singing)

"_Plenty of sunshine…heading my way …"_

_(RITA runs out from behind some BUSHES. She jogs up beside him)_

RITA

Hey, do you know why Cadpig's building a gigantic ladder in the desert?

WAKKO

Um, she…she wants to go to heaven…?

RITA

Why?

WAKKO

To…see her dead relatives?

RITA

What's in the box?

WAKKO

An arts-and-crafts project…

RITA

Are you hiding something?

WAKKO

No.

RITA

C'mon, let me see it-

WAKKO

No!

_(He shoves the BOX behind his BACK. It disappears magically into his TOON HAMMERSPACE)_

See! Off-limits! Seeya Rita—

_(WAKKO whistles and starts to walk off. RITA cocks her head at him)_

RITA

What's it like in that creepy cartoon void behind your back?

WAKKO

_(Spinning around)_

Why do you ask?

RITA

Are you the only one that can use it?

WAKKO

Rita, do you know those scary science fiction movies where people get sucked into parallel dimensions and go bonkers? Those are movies. Hammerspace? That's scarier…

(Cut to RITA in a confessional)

RITA

I'm super-sketched out by what Wakko's carrying in that box. It could be an advantage or something. So…I'm going to do something that no one here has the guts to do. I'm going to invade the invisible cartoon zone behind Wakko's back…

* * *

_(Cut to the POND. WAKKO sits in the WATER washing his face. His back is turned to the CAMERA. RITA emerges on the RIVER BANK. She glances at his BACK, timing it right. She turns back to the CAMERA)_

RITA

If I don't come back alive…I owe my dealer in Burbank three grams of cat nip….

_(RITA rushes forward. She leaps into the air in a swan dive. As if vanishing into an invisible PORTAL, she disappears into the hammerspace behind WAKKO's back. WAKKO is startled. He spins around and scratches his back, unsure of what just happened)_

WAKKO

…Eleanor? Did you say something?

(WAKKO looks around, a little frightened. He picks up the BOX and walks away)

* * *

(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional. He points to the MARK on his NECK left by RITA)

MARVIN

Rita gave me…a "hickey?" I'm really tempted to break my deal with her. To flip. But the Jury might reward likability…over strategy….and that's the only thing keeping me with her…

(He pauses for a moment)

I might…have to play up…the social thing.

(Another pause. He scrunches up his face)

I might…have to become…_friends _with Cadpig…

* * *

_(Cut to MARVIN crouched near the SHELTER. He is assembling some BEADS and ROPE together. He is creating a very similar FRIENDSHIP BRACELET to the one that CADPIG gave him earlier)_

MARVIN

The last time I interacted with a female, I invited a girl to a restaurant. I taught her long division. She escaped through the bathroom window…

(Awkward pause)

But…I've heard women like presents. I don't have any jewelry. So this will have to do. I have to reciprocate Cadpig's advances…to earn her trust. I mean - I have to pretend to earn her trust. Yes. That's what I said. I'm only pretending to be Cadpig's friend….

_(He pauses for a moment, a little uncomfortable)_

That's…that is clear to everyone, right?

* * *

_(Cut back to the LADDER out in the DESERT. CADPIG is at an enormous height now. She is still hard at work, hammering PLANKS of WOOD. _

_MARVIN enters from behind a BOULDER on the GROUND. He holds the FRIENDSHIP BRACELET. He stares up at the LADDER. For a moment, he seems curious. Then he rolls his eyes – clearly used to weird things like this by now)_

MARVIN

(Calling up to her)

Cadpig…I made a "friendship bracelet…

CADPIG

A WHAT?

MARVIN

It's a bracelet. Y'know – symbolizing friendship?

CADPIG

Talk to the hand cause the face don't want to hear it…!

MARVIN

No- look-

CADPIG

It's fine, Marvin. I'm getting a shooting star—

MARVIN

What!?

CADPIG

You told me: you don't _trust _me yet. A bracelet isn't going to solve that. That's why I'm doing what you told me. I'm getting you a shooting star - remember?

MARVIN

Do you detect sarcasm? Ever?

CADPIG

That is what you wanted, right?

MARVIN

_(Exasperated)_

Cadpig… on my planet… when you give someone a shooting star…

CADPIG

What?

MARVIN

You're…proposing…

CADPIG

SAY WHAT?

MARVIN

And that's why I was being sarcastic, idiot!

CADPIG

Dude, I was being sincere! Why couldn't you believe me? I wanted to take you to finals!

_(WAKKO enters. He holds the BOX with the SHOOTING STAR in it. He opens it up and holds out his MASTERPIECE)_

WAKKO

(Calling up)

CADPIG, ARE YOU DONE UP THERE?

CADPIG

WHAT?

WAKKO

I GOT A SHOOTING STAR!

MARVIN

Let me see that!

_(MARVIN swipes the STAR from WAKKO. He looks appalled)_

THIS IS MACARONI, IDIOT!

WAKKO

(Snatching it back)

No!

MARVIN

You force me to sing! Now this!? You've degraded the Martian empire for the last time-

_(He starts to fight with WAKKO over the STAR)_

Give me that!

WAKKO

Give me, give me never gets-

MARVIN

SIMPLETON!

WAKKO

(Calling up to her)

CADPIG - HEY - HEY - MARVIN AND RITA ARE ALIGNED!

CADPIG

(Glaring down at them)

OKAY, CAN YOU GUYS STOP FIGHTING?

_(CADPIG leans out too far. She slips on the LADDER. The foundation gives. PLANKS of WOOD began to spill off, falling to the ground. CADPIG yelps. She grabs onto a PIECE of WOOD. She's left dangling like a giant game of JENGA)_

CADPIG

HELP!

WAKKO &amp; MARVIN

CADPIG!

CADPIG

(Hanging on)

I WILL NOT END MY LIFE AS A PANCAKE!

MARVIN

Quick, let me on your shoulders-

WAKKO

No, I'm more flexible. I'm trained as a monkey...

_(WAKKO hops onto the LADDER. He starts to scale his way up, bending his body in strange ways. He makes his way to the top where CADPIG is stranded. He eyes her carefully. He tries to offer her a HAND. When he shifts his weight, another cluster of PLANKS fall to the ground)_

WAKKO

Cadpig, give me your hand….

CADPIG

(Terrified)

We're going to die…

WAKKO

Snap out of it...

_(WAKKO nudges CADPIG's shoulder. He accidentally rocks the whole STRUCTURE. It shakes. FIVE PLANKS come falling down from the TOP. They nearly smash CADPIG in the face. She blinks. She snaps out of it)_

CADPIG

No. You're right. Let's get out of here…

_(WAKKO grabs CADPIG's hand. They start to scale their way down the LADDER. PLANKS fall around them as the MESS teeters back and forth)_

CADPIG

Come on, sing with me; we'll calm our nerves-

WAKKO

_"I will survive. I will survive…._

_CADPIG_

"_You just walked in here with that sad look upon your face..." _

_(CADPIG touches WAKKO's BACK, guiding him forward…_

_Suddenly, RITA is ejected from WAKKO's HAMMERSPACE. She comes flying out from behind his BACK. She is covered in purple liquid. She looks deranged and frightened. She latches onto CADPIG immediately, hugging her. The WHOLE LADDER sways more than ever)_

CADPIG

Rita, where'd you come from?

RITA

(With frozen eyes)

I stared into the abyss...and what I saw drove me mad…

_(The ENTIRE LADDER collapses because of RITA's weight. PLANKS fall like SHRAPNEL. NAILS and WOOD fall everywhere. The air is full of SAWDUST. The whole TOWER collapses as RITA, WAKKO, and CADPIG go falling to the ground)_

CADPIG

WE'RE COMING DOWN!

(Everyone lands in front of MARVIN on the ground. He shields his FACE, sparing himself from the SAWDUST. Everyone appears unconscious in front of him. MARVIN looks horrified. He kneels down in front of CADPIG. He starts to shake her back and forth)

MARVIN

No, don't be dead. Please, I…I don't want to be the Sole Survivor!

CADPIG

(Groaning)

I'm here, Marvin. I'm alive...

MARVIN

Well, get up…and never build dangerous ladders again!

CADPIG

Whatever you say, Dad...

_(MARVIN hugs CADPIG. CADPIG, surprised, allows it. It only lasts for a second. Then MARVIN cringes and shrinks away._

_RITA, meanwhile, is crawling in CIRCLES. She looks unfocused and traumatized)_

RITA

(Talking to herself)

There were rubber chickens….and polka dots..

CADPIG

What happened to her?

WAKKO

(Getting up from the ground)

She snuck into my hammerspace!

(WAKKO crawls over to RITA. He grabs her and shakes her back and forth)

Snap out of it, Rita!

CADPIG

Hang on! Only girls can hit girls.

(CADPIG crawls over. She smacks RITA across the face. RITA's senses seem to come back to her. She glances at CADPIG in confusion)

CADPIG

Well?

RITA

(After a moment)

Not one of my better ideas, huh?

CADPIG

What are you holding there?

_(The camera pans down to reveal that RITA is holding something. The MOONLIGHT brightens on it. The OTHERS gasp, shrinking away. It's some sort of PINK, JELLY-LIKE CREATURE. It squirms around in RITA's HANDS. Oddly enough, it looks a little like WAKKO)_

RITA

I found it in Wakko's hammerspace. It's weird...like jelly sort of...

WAKKO

(Alarmed)

Wait, don't squeeze it like that-

(RITA squeezes the CREATURE. Without warning, it pops. JELLY falls all over her LAP. After it bursts, for some reason, WAKKO's laugh is heard in the air…almost like an echo. Then it disappears)

RITA

(Shocked)

What did I do? What happened?

WAKKO

That...that was… my zaniness...

(Pause)

CADPIG

What do you mean?

WAKKO

My zaniness! craziness! That was _part _of me! It's…the part of me that lets me be crazy…  
toony...like Yakko and Dot! You just broke it!

(Awkward silence. Everyone stares blankly at RITA)

RITA

I…I thought the lizards today were delicious. Did anybody else?

* * *

(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional. He looks dismayed)

WAKKO

I have different _parts_ of me in my hammer-space! My emotions! My personality! See?

(He reaches behind his BACK. He pulls out a YELLOW CREATURE)

Happy Wakko!

(He pulls out a BLUE CREATURE)

Sad Wakko!

(He pulls out a PURPLE CREATURE)

_Scared!_

(He swats all the JELLY CREATURES off his

Now, my zaniness is gone. Rita…she broke the_ only_ part of me…that made me feel like I still had something in common with Yakko and Dot. I…I don't even know how I'm going to live with them now…

* * *

_(Cut back to CAMP. WAKKO and CADPIG are sitting in the SHELTER. They've set up a TIN CAN a few feet away. They're taking turns shooting PEBBLES into it. WAKKO looks very depressed. His TONGUE limply out of his mouth)_

CADPIG

Wakko, c'mon, you're still you...

WAKKO

I'm okay with it. I'll be normal. I'll be happier that way...

CADPIG

You're not _supposed _to be normal, dude...

WAKKO

Forget it. I'll play Scrabble. I'll read the newspaper. I'll file tax returns. I'll get used to it. And Yakko and Dot…they can just keep being themselves…so in a way, it's like nobody's hurt…

CADPIG

C'mon, smile for me, Wakko…

WAKKO

I told you: I don't want to be Wakko anymore.

CADPIG

Why?

WAKKO

It only causes trouble…

CADPIG

You're not doing anyone a favor…

WAKKO

What do you mean?

CADPIG

C'mon, I hate sanity. It's overrated. We_ need_ people like you…

WAKKO

Well, I humbly disagree…

CADPIG

I liked you when you were crazy. You were my friend…

WAKKO

Were we?

CADPIG

What the heck did you think we were? Who's the real Wakko!?

WAKKO

I don't know! I'm sick of this! I'm sick of having to act a way that makes everybody hate me! I'm just going to start from scratch…

CADPIG

_(After a moment)_

Well, here's my opinion.

WAKKO

Yes?

CADPIG

When you were acting nuts, I _liked _you. When you try to be normal…you turn into a _huge_ jackass.

_(She tosses a PEBBLE into the CAN)_

There. Six out of ten. I win...

(CADPIG gets up and storms off. WAKKO is left staring blankly at the TIN CAN)

* * *

_(Cut to the POND. RITA is relaxing in the WATER. She rinses off the purple liquid from WAKKO's HAMMERSPACE. MARVIN sits on a ROCK nearby. He looks up at the STARS)_

RITA

Y'know what I like about you, Marvin? We can sit here together the whole day...and we never have to say a damn thing to each other….

_ (MARVIN doesn't respond at first. RITA ignores him and goes on rinsing herself off)_

MARVIN

_(Breaking the silence)_

What was Wakko's hammerspace like?

RITA

Cramped. Nonsensical. Smelled like men.

(MARVIN glares at her. He studies her for a moment. He gets off the ROCK and crosses into the WATER. He stands right in front of her, staring her down)

RITA

I'm trying to take a bath…

MARVIN

Well, I'm dirty too…

RITA

It's all yours...alien conqueror…

(RITA climbs out of the POND. She pulls a TOWEL out of her KNAPSACK and starts to dry herself off. MARVIN hasn't stopped looking at her)

MARVIN

Do you think you conquered me?

RITA

Where's that coming from?

MARVIN

I'm not your toy right now. I'm not your doll. You shouldn't be using guilt to drag me to the finals with you.

_(He lets it settle in. RITA just stares at him)_

You think you have me wrapped around your finger. But you _don't. _I'll make any decision I'd like…and you'll never know it's going to be in your favor…

RITA

You're taking me to the end..._right?_

(No response. MARVIN just smiles at her. RITA quickly catches on)

Are you dense or something? They'd slaughter you!

(MARVIN reaches into his sleeve. He pulls out the CHARRED remains of the YO-YO she gave him. He tosses it back to RITA)

MARVIN

Keep it. A token of our friendship.

(MARVIN whistles and starts to walk away)

RITA

If you vote me out tonight—

MARVIN

It's _Wakko._ Relax. Goodbye Rita...enjoy being a villain...

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional) _

RITA

Yes. He's right. He _could _beat the others if he tried hard enough. I was just trying to scare him into taking him. But if nobody's clamoring to stop him…then maybe it _has_ to come down to me…

* * *

_(Cut back to CAMP. WAKKO is still sitting in the same spot as before. He is scribbling something on a piece of PAPER. RITA sits beside him, speaking into his EAR)_

RITA

Here's what we'll do. We'll tie the vote. We vote Cadpig. We send you _two_ into a firemaking challenge. _You_ beat her. We weaken Marvin's support system. Then we work tooth and nail to make sure he doesn't win final immunity…

WAKKO

(Writing something down)

What do you think's a more boring game? Scrabble or Monopoly?

RITA

What?

WAKKO

I'm making a list for when I get home. Normal people play board games...

RITA

Wakko, grow up…

WAKKO

I'll make fire for you. Yes. Whatever…

RITA

_(Shaking her head)_

Useless…

* * *

_(Cut to a little while later. The same spot. The time for TRIBAL is fast approaching. WAKKO seems to have fallen asleep. He lays in the SHELTER, snoring, his TONGUE hanging out of his mouth. CADPIG kneels beside him. She shakes him back and forth lightly)_

CADPIG

Please? Wake up, Wakko! Please. Be crazy again…

_(MARVIN steps out of the SHADOWS. He sits down beside CADPIG)_

MARVIN

He's going home tonight...

CADPIG

I want to slap him, man. He's so pathetic…

MARVIN

(After a moment)

I want to show you something...

_(MARVIN reaches into his SLEEVE. He pulls out the FRIENDSHIP BRACELET that he made for CADPIG before. He stares at her earnestly. Slowly, he reaches out to take her hand. He slides it gently onto her arm)_

MARVIN

Do I still have your loyalty?

(Pause. CADPIG stares into MARVIN's eyes. She studies him closely. Finally, she speaks)

CADPIG

Yes...

MARVIN

Come. There's going to be a tie. I have to teach you how to make fire...

* * *

_(Cut to a little while later. WAKKO has woken up. He walks through the DESERT. He looks groggy, dejected. He stares up at the STARS. He drinks a swig of WATER from his CANTEEN. In the distance, there's the sound of an OLD HORN – the call to come to TRIBAL COUNCIL. _

_WAKKO sighs and puts his CANTEEN away. Above him, suddenly, there's a FLASH in the SKY._

_A REAL SHOOTING STAR is whizzing through the SKY. It burns over the DESERT, heading off over the MOUNTAINS. WAKKO grimaces. He looks around to see if anyone's watching)_

_WAKKO_

_ (Muttering)_

All right…just to see what happens…

_(WAKKO starts to dash across the DESERT. He breathes heavily, trying to keep his speed up. The SHOOTING STAR is starting to vanish. WAKKO jumps into the air. It's a small jump – the same kind a HUMAN would make. He jumps again. Nothing. WAKKO pants heavily, glancing up at the STAR. It's almost vanished)_

RITA (O.S)

(Off in the distance)

WAKKO, ARE YOU OUT THERE? IT'S TIME FOR TRIBAL…

_(WAKKO glares up at the SKY. He starts to run again. He breaks into a manic sprint. Then he leaps into the air. Here, finally, the jump is different. It's not a jump a HUMAN can make – it's a jump reserved for a TOON. WAKKO goes flying twenty feet into the air. Then he hits ground._

_Shocked, WAKKO blinks. He snaps his fingers. There's a spark of electricity – implying he still has his powers._

WAKKO

Yes…

_(WAKKO charges off into the DESERT. He cries out and leaps into the air. He goes flying up into the SKY. The camera loses him. He's only a faint dot, going higher and higher. Then, finally, he comes crashing back down to EARTH. He holds the glowing SHOOTING STAR in his hands)_

WAKKO

(Astounded)

How'd I do that? How?

_(WAKKO drops the STAR to the ground. Curious, he reaches behind his back. Slowly, he pulls out a very, small PINK JELLY CREATURE. It's beginning to form again)_

_ (Cut to WAKKO in a confessional)_

WAKKO

How'd I do that? I thought...my zaniness was gone. But then...I did do crazy stuff…to get the star. How'd that work? Unless...

_(He reaches behind his BACK. He pulls out the unformed PINK CREATURE)_

Sorry, buddy…I don't think I need _you_ for this one after all...

_(He throws it over his shoulder. There's a weird, splatting sound)_

* * *

_(Cut back to CAMP. MARVIN sits by the SHELTER. He picks up his TORCH for TRIBAL, getting ready to leave. WAKKO creeps up behind him. He holds the GLOWING SHOOTING STAR. He coughs, getting MARVIN's attention)_

MARVIN

(Shocked)

What's this?

WAKKO

A real star. I pulled it from the sky. Maybe one day… you'll find somebody to give it to…

_(WAKKO hands MARVIN the star. He grabs his own TORCH from the SHELTER and walks away whistling)_

* * *

_(Cut to TRIBAL COUNCIL. WAKKO, MARVIN, RITA, and CADPIG enter with their TORCHES. They stack them up against the RACK. The HOST stands at his usual PODIUM, smiling at them as they arrive. They all take their seats)_

HOST

Well, you've been through this many times…so I don't think you need a lecture. Rita, should we expect any surprises tonight?

RITA

No. This is the first time we all know exactly what's going to happen…and that's why it's even scarier…

HOST

Well, let's not build up the suspense. It's time to vote. Marvin, you're up…

* * *

(Cut to MARVIN in the VOTING BOOTH)

MARVIN

I couldn't be a lone wolf forever. So…I chose to help Cadpig. Now please, concentrate…_beat _Wakko. Pretend you're a fire-breathing Plutonian slug in mating season...

(Cut to RITA in the VOTING BOOTH)

RITA

Marvin got his claws in you. I'm genuinely doing this out of pity. Marvin wouldn't hold back if he took you to Finals. You'd be like a deer in the headlights up there with him. Good luck…in life…I guess…

(Cut to CADPIG in the VOTING BOOTH)

CADPIG

I'm trusting someone again. That's scary. But I'm going to harness my epic cave woman skills and make fire. Wish me luck, peeps….

(Cut to WAKKO in a confessional. He makes a DOLPHIN NOISE)

WAKKO

That's dolphin…for thanks for the advice today…

* * *

(Cut back to the center of TRIBAL COUNCIL. The HOST exits with the URN full of VOTES. He takes his spot on the PODIUM)

HOST

Once the votes are read, the decision is final. The person voted out will be asked to leave immediately. I'll now read the votes…

* * *

**FIRST VOTE**

**WAKKO**

**SECOND VOTE**

**WAKKO**

**THIRD VOTE**

**CADPIG**

**FOURTH VOTE**

**CADPIG**

* * *

_(Cut to the CONTESTANTS' reactions. Nobody is surprised. WAKKO cracks his knuckles, ready for action. CADPIG rubs her hands together)_

HOST

We are tied. Two votes Wakko, two votes Cadpig. As the rules of Survivor state, we will now go into a tiebreaking fire-making challenge. You will each be given one bar of flint…and a clump of leaves. First one to light the rope on fire above their station wins a spot in the Final Three. The loser…is eliminated immediately…

_(CADPIG and WAKKO rise up from their SEATS. They walk to the center of the ROOM. TWO PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS bring out TWO FIREMAKING STATIONS. CADPIG and WAKKO each take their spot. They tense up, ready to start. RITA and MARVIN are even tenser, watching from the sidelines)_

HOST

Survivors ready? You may begin…

_(WAKKO and CADPIG set to work. They scrape their FLINT, struggling to get a SPARK. Neither are having much luck at first. Every so often, white light comes from their FLINT…but it isn't enough to start anything)_

HOST

Wakko and Cadpig…friends and enemies…now fighting for a spot in the Final Three. No progress yet. They're both still in this…

_(WAKKO's LEAVES get a SPARK. They start to burn. WAKKO breathes a sigh of relief. He starts to stack TWIGS on top of the STICKS, trying to get the FLAME going)_

HOST

Wakko has fire! He's now in this! Cadpig is still struggling to get a spark…

MARVIN

(Calling out)

Use your powers, Wakko! Go on! It'll be so easy…

WAKKO

I don't need that, Marvin…

HOST

As specified earlier, Wakko is forbidden to use his toon powers in any kind of physical or mental competition. He's now working on getting his flame going. This could be it. Cadpig, meanwhile, is left in the dark. You've got to pick it up. It's been thirty-nine days. You should know how to make fire…

_(CADPIG gets a SPARK. She yelps in JOY and starts stacking STICKS. The FLAME slowly begins to rise)_

HOST

Cadpig's now in this! But it may be too late. Wakko's getting very close to burning his rope…

_(WAKKO's fire starts to linger a bit. Then it dissipates. He cringes and starts stacking STICKS on top of each other)_

HOST

Wakko's flame is burning out. The last of his siblings left in this game…surviving _well_ after they've both been eliminated…can he bring this victory home? Or will this just be another humiliation for the Warners?

RITA

_(Terrified)_

Why do you have to make everything so dramatic?

HOST

It's how I get paid…

WAKKO

I've got this, I've got this…

_(WAKKO's FIRE starts to rise again. CADPIG's, meanwhile, is teetering at the halfway point. She forms a TEAPEE of sorts, trying to get the flame to reach the ROPE)_

HOST

What's it like, guys? Going up against each other after all this?

WAKKO

(Muttering to himself)

What rhymes with _"flame…?"_

HOST

Excuse me?

WAKKO

(Talking to himself)

Songs! I need a song! Um – _"Bring me home from Survivor. Help me build up my flame. I tried to protect Dot and bent to her whims. Yak gave me mushrooms, I thought I was him…"_

_(The FIRE starts to rise again. WAKKO looks overjoyed. He starts to stack STICKS like mad. He pants like a DOG. He starts to make a medley of animal noises)_

HOST

WAKKO'S CLOSE! VERY CLOSE! CAN HE DO IT?

(WAKKO's FLAMES begin to lick the ROPE. CADPIG hardly pays attention. Her face is eclipsed by the FLAMES. Shadows dance around her eyes as she stacks STICKS. WAKKO's ROPE begins to BURN. The threads begin to unravel)

HOST

THIS IS IT…

(WAKKO's ROPE starts to fall apart. WAKKO is thrilled. He jumps up and down. He reaches for something behind his back)

WAKKO

_YES! YES! TAKE THAT YOU HORRIBLE GAME!_

_RITA_

_WAIT, WAKKO, STOP! DON'T GET EMOTIONAL! YOU'RE GOING TO ACTIVATE YOUR—_

_(WAKKO's TOON POWERS activate. He pulls a WATER BALLOON out of thin air. Without thinking, WAKKO cheers and slams it down on the FIRE in front of him. _

_The BALLOON breaks. _

_WATER splashes everywhere. _

_The FIRE goes out. __Smoke rises. _

_The silence afterwards is deafening)_

RITA

(After a moment)

I hate my life…

WAKKO

There…there wasn't supposed to be water in that…

(CADPIG's FIRE proceeds to burn through the ROPE. The THREADS pull apart, burning to ASH. She hops and down)

CADPIG

(Dancing)

BOOYA! WHAT NOW? WHAT NOW?

HOST

CADPIG HAS BURNED HER ROPE! THAT'S IT! CADPIG WINS IMMUNITY!

(CADPIG hits the ground in joy. She cups her hands, praying, almost in tears. MARVIN smiles at her weakly from the other side of the ROOM.

After a moment, CADPIG notices WAKKO. He is staring at his FIRE sadly, his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

CADPIG frowns. She walks over to WAKKO and puts her hand on his shoulder)

CADPIG

It's okay. You tried your best…

(WAKKO doesn't respond. He just stares at the SMOKE, still in disbelief)

HOST

Wakko, you have to get your torch snuffed…

(No response. WAKKO just keeps staring at the SMOKE)

Okay, Wakko, seriously, you have to leave…now…

CADPIG

(Poking WAKKO)

Are you okay?

HOST

Security? Please? Can you get him?

_(TWO SECURITY GUARDS come in. Both are ATTRACTIVE BLONDE WOMEN. WAKKO turns to face them. Suddenly, a huge SMILE spreads across his face)_

WAKKO

HELLLLLLLOO NURSE!

_(WAKKO hops into one of the SECURITY GUARD'S ARMS. He blows MARVIN, RITA, and CADPIG a kiss. The SECURITY GUARD proceeds to carry him down the HALLWAY, off into the darkness. CADPIG hops up and down, waving goodbye. MARVIN looks triumphant. RITA's face buried in her hands, absolutely horrified)_

RITA

You had one job, Wakko…

HOST

Wakko…the tribe has spoken…

_(The HOST puts out WAKKO's TORCH, even though he's gone at this point)_

Well, there you have it. One more round…one more member joining the Jury. Very soon, we'll be looking at our Final Tribal Council. Grab your stuff. Head back to camp.

* * *

**VOTE TALLY**

* * *

**RITA voted for CADPIG**

**WAKKO voted for CADPIG**

**MARVIN voted for WAKKO**

**CADPIG voted for WAKKO**

**A fire-making challenge ensued and WAKKO was eliminated**

* * *

A/N: Well, they're all gone now...

I know a few people were thinking that Wakko was going to win, but I think his story was set up more as a battle he was ultimately going to lose. Really, for the Warners' overall story, I don't think anything would have really been achieved if they won. Their struggle was really more with each other than it was with the game itself.

When I put the Warners in the game, my first thought was how terrible they'd do on _Survivor._ I mean, they have likable qualities like any of the other characters, but they're all really arrogant - even Wakko, who was probably the most self-aware of the three of them. Their way of thinking is that they go in, be maniacal and joke around, and get what they want from people. In _Survivor,_ that's a one way ticket to being voted out. This was really the first time that they not only lost, but realized that they weren't really all they were cracked up to be.

There's only three of them. They don't have parents. I get the sense that if any of them were ever troubled by something, they would have really been good at communicating it to the other two - and vice versa. I mean, if you attack every problem you have by being crazy and insane, then you're not really dealing with your problems.

Well, this was the first time that being crazy and insane didn't lead to victory. And to Wakko, it became more than that. He felt like the game was genuinely attacking his family. It was stripping them apart and putting them in a situation that they just didn't have the tools with him. It would have been a pretty bad existential crisis for anyone - especially while having to be a guardian figure for Dot - and you have to give him credit for lasting as long as he did. And for the most part, he handled it with a smile on his face.

So good game, Wakko.

Faboo.


	32. In The Valley Of Death, Part III

_(Cut to the following morning. A STORM is brewing in the SKY. The CONTESTANT'S CLOTHES are tethered to a CLOTHESLINE nearby. They flap in the WIND. SILVERWARE by the CAMPFIRE is coated in RAINWATER. MARVIN and CADPIG stare up at the SKY together. They listen to the thunder. Between the CLOUD, there are flashes of LIGHTNING)_

MARVIN

(Excited)

Do you see that? The electrolytes!

CADPIG

The what-a-whats?

MARVIN

The electricity! You can feel it in the air! Marvelous! Your Earthling weather patterns!

_(He swings his arm around her)_

I'm so glad we can share this moment…

_(CADPIG seems disturbed and brushes MARVIN off a little. RITA emerges from behind the SHELTER. She holds THREE WRAPPED PACKAGES)_

MARVIN

(Stiffening up)

What do you want?

RITA

Here…I found these behind the shelter…

CADPIG

What are they?

RITA

Luxury items. Y'know, from before we came out into the game. It's a present for us. From production. For making the Final Three.

(She hands MARVIN a PACKAGE)

Here…Merry Christmas…

MARVIN

(Accepting the PACKAGE)

And to all a good night…

CADPIG

(Lightly)

What was your luxury item, Rita?

RITA

A ball of yarn. From when I was a kitten...

_(CADPIG glances over MARVIN's shoulder. He's opened his LUXURY GIFT. There's a FRAMED PICTURE of his FAMILY. A YOUNG MARVIN sits with a MOTHER, two SISTERS, a baby K-9, and a FATHER in MILITARY UNIFORM. MARVIN stares blankly at the picture)_

CADPIG

You all look…really happy together…

MARVIN

It's all right.

(MARVIN crumbles up the PICTURE)

CADPIG

Marvin, you can't crumble that up….

MARVIN

(Eagerly)

Go. Open yours.

(CADPIG opens up her GIFT. It's just a worn-out CHEW TOY for a DOG)

CADPIG

It's just a chew toy.

MARVIN

What's the purpose behind it?

CADPIG

What do you mean?

MARVIN

(Excited)

Did someone you care about give it to you?

RITA

She probably just likes to chew on it…

MARVIN

You can't speak for her, Rita-! I'm sure there's a very important reason that Cadpig decided to bring this lovely little-

CADPIG

(Embarrassed)

No. It's…it's just a chew toy actually...

(Awkward silence)

MARVIN

Well…okay then…

RITA

(Staring at the crumbled picture)

Did you really need to crumble that up?

MARVIN

(Standing up, ignoring RITA)

Come Cadpig. We need to skin lizards...for supper…

CADPIG

Could you just take a chill-pill? Please?

MARVIN

Very well. ..

(MARVIN exits. RITA stares at CADPIG. Short silence)

RITA

He likes you now, doesn't he?

CADPIG

Why?

RITA

You were nice to him. I think that's all it takes…

* * *

_(Cut to later that day. The SUN has almost set. CADPIG and RITA are sitting alone in the SHELTER, struggling to sleep. After a moment, CADPIG hears sniffling. She glances to the other side of the SHELTER. She sees RITA curled up in the corner holding the BALL of YARN. She is singing softly to herself)_

RITA

"_I am just a kitten. Hardly fit my mitten. Much too small I figure. One day…I'll be bigger…"_

CADPIG

Are you singing…?

(RITA turns to look at CADPIG. Very quickly, she hides the BALL of YARN)

RITA

Yes.

(Pause)

CADPIG

What was it?

RITA

My Mom used to sing it to me. Can I step outside? I need to get some air…

CADPIG

Wait, it's cold. Take a blanket…

_(RITA ignores her. She steps outside and vanishes behind the SHELTER. CADPIG glances over to the CAMPFIRE. MARVIN is sitting there alone. He holds the CRUMBLED PICTURE of his FAMILY. He stares at it, rubbing his finger across it. _

_He smiles a little. CADPIG clears her throat, trying to get his attention. MARVIN looks up at her, surprised. He puts away the PICTURE. He smiles at her weakly)_

MARVIN

Hello Cadpig…

CADPIG

(Smiling back)

Hello Marvin…

(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)

CADPIG

I don't live in a gutter in Burbank. I wasn't in the Martian military. How could I? I'm a dog. Dogs don't have apposable thumbs. I was just…happy. And stupid. At my stupid farm…

(Pause)

I mean - I have a family. I have two parents. And I have my own water bowl. Like, the idea of other people being unhappy…in, like, third-world countries like Oklahoma and stuff…that's what makes me unhappy.

(Pause)

I thought this game was going to be, like, running through obstacle courses and going down water slides...but...it wasn't. It was awful.

(Pause)

I'm starting to feel like - and I hate to say this - do I deserve this?

(Pause)

Like, for a while, I kept thinking - "Okay, I want to win for Courage. Okay, I want to win for Dodger. My parents. My brothers...my sisters..." But...if I'm sitting up at the Final Tribal, and I'm glorifying in what I did to people here – and Marvin and Rita are the ones who actually need the money - well - then who am I to talk?

(Pause)

I'm not a psychologist anymore. I'm not a good person. I'm hardly even a dog…

* * *

_(Cut to later that night. A storm is in full swing. MARVIN, RITA, and CADPIG are huddled together in the SHELTER. They're struggling to sleep but not making much progress. LIGHTNING flashes. RAIN pours down the side of the SHELTER outside._

_Suddenly, there's a harsh GROWLING outside)_

RITA

(Waking up, startled)

Hey, hey, it's not a private parking lot! I'm allowed to sleep here-

CADPIG

Rita, you're not in the city!

(Sound of the GROWLING again)

RITA

What's that sound?

MARVIN

It's a mountain lion!

CADPIG

We can tame it, don't worry.

MARVIN

What?

CADPIG

Does anyone have peanuts?

RITA

I'll handle this.

(RITA climbs out of the BLANKETS. The OTHERS gawk at her)

MARVIN

Rita - you're going to be torn to shreds—

RITA

It's fine. Take care of your little buddy

(RITA exits the SHELTER and storms off into the RAIN. MARVIN shakes his head. He grabs his KNAPSACK and prepares to take off after her)

MARVIN

I'm not going to let it eat her—

CADPIG

I'm not going to let it eat _you—_

MARVIN

Here. Play with your chew toy. Be a good puppy….

(MARVIN leaves CADPIG's CHEW TOY on the floor. He hurries out into the RAIN. Pause. CADPIG glares at the CHEW TOY)

CADPIG

I'm not a puppy…

* * *

_(Cut to outside. MARVIN swats through THORNY BRANCHES with a MACHETE. He holds a GLOWSTICK in the other hand. He squints through the RAIN, struggling to find RITA)_

MARVIN

RITA! RITA! COME BACK HERE AT ONCE—

_(He turns around a BEND. He makes his way down a SLOPY HILL, struggling not to trip. He squints through the RAIN. He sees RITA crouched behind a BUSH. She is petrified, staring at something that he can't see. MARVIN hurries up behind her. He places his hand on her shoulder)_

MARVIN

Come now, I'll take you back to the shelter...

_(RITA doesn't respond. MARVIN glances forward and sees a MOUNTAIN LION several feet away. There is something wrong with its eyes. It purrs and surveys the area, searching for prey. MARVIN ushers RITA closer to the ground)_

MARVIN

Don't move. I…I think it's blind. It can only smell us...

_(The MOUNTAIN LION approaches the BUSH. It growls, sniffing at them. Slowly, for some reason, RITA reaches out a trembling hand. She touches the MOUNTAIN LION'S FUR. MARVIN is appalled)_

MARVIN

Rita, what are you doing? _Rita...?_

_(RITA shrinks her HAND back. The MOUNTAIN LION sniffs around the AREA. Then it traipses away, vanishing off into the DARK. RITA seems disoriented. She looks off into the RAIN, not entirely sure what happened. MARVIN pushes her out from behind the BUSH)_

MARVIN

Why did you touch it like that? Were you trying to feed yourself to it?

RITA

_(After a moment)_

I wanted...to feel if it as scared as we were…

_(CADPIG rushes down the HILL nearby. She is holding a GLOWSTICK. She gawks at the MOUNTAIN LION on the other side of the CLEARING, vanishing into the BUSHES)_

CADPIG

Whoa, did you guys, like, judo chop it samurai style?

RITA

Look at you...with your itty-bitty glow stick…

_(She looks at MARVIN's GLOWSTICK as well)_

Two of a kind...

_(RITA climbs out from behind the BUSH. She starts to walk back to CAMP. CADPIG and MARVIN look at each other in confusion)_

* * *

(Cut to the following morning. The storm has passed. MARVIN and RITA are sitting together at the CAMPFIRE)

MARVIN

Were you trying to hurt yourself?

RITA

I was delirious. In the rain…

(Pause)

Y'know, you seem very keen to bring Cadpig to the end-

MARVIN

I haven't made up my mind…

RITA

You made one friend out here? That's really going to change the Jury's opinion of you…?

MARVIN

The Jury's going to respect my strategy. I voted them all out…

RITA

You're scared.

MARVIN

Did _you_ make friends either?

RITA

No. That's why you should take me…

(CADPIG crawls out from the SHELTER. She glances at them conspicuously, likely overhearing the conversation)

CADPIG

Marvin...?

MARVIN

Excuse me. I…I need to squeeze my stress ball...

(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)

CADPIG

Rita's all like,"Yo Marvin…you got to be the villain with me. You got to own up to that, brochacho..." _As if._ I mean – I could talk to Marvin about it. I mean…I could convince him to turn against her. I'm sure I can. I mean…

(She pauses, gritting her teeth)

Or…maybe...maybe I should take some precautions…

_(Cut to CADPIG crouched in the SHELTER. She is snipping FABRIC together, making some kind of COSTUME)_

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional) _

CADPIG

Marvin could be this lethal, articulate Jury monster. I _know._ But…I can't stomach the idea of Rita beating him…

_(Pause)_

He taught me to make fire. I want to believe he deserves a chance more than Rita…

_(Cut back to CADPIG making the COSTUME. She has formed a CAPE, which she wraps around her NECK. She takes DODGER's old BANDANNA and wraps it around her head. The effect is ridiculous, since most of the CLOTHING is too big for her. She smiles up at the SUNLIGHT like a superhero)_

_(Cut back to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

I _have_ to keep my friendship in line with Marvin. So now…I have to go into overdrive. I can't just be Cadpig. I have to be somebody else. Somebody stronger. Hear my name and tremble. I now go by…

_(She wraps her CAPE around her BODY)_

THE SPOTTED BANDIT!

* * *

_(Cut to the challenge the following morning. Somewhere out in the DESERT. THREE LARGE WICKER MEN are set up in a ROW. Each WICKER MAN is divided into THREE DIFFERENT SECTIONS connected by interior LADDERS. Ten feet away from each WICKER MAN, there is a FLAG blowing in the WIND. The HOST stands on his usual MAT)_

HOST

COME IN IN, GUYS!

_(MARVIN and RITA step out of the BUSHES. They take their place on the PURPLE MAT, ready to get started)_

HOST

Ready to get to today's immunity challenge? Wait - where's Cadpig?

_(CADPIG's voice is heard off-screen, lingering in the BUSHES)_

CADPIG

_(Sounding like BATMAN)_

For years, Survivor players have been subjugated to deceit...betrayal. Now, a vigilante emerges. Hear my name and tremble! The Spotted Bandit...

_(CADPIG rolls out of the BUSHES in a forward roll. She strikes a pose on the MAT in her new costume)_

RITA

…Is that Dodger's bandanna?

CADPIG

It's my new look…

HOST

Marvin...you seem...disturbed by Cadpig's choice of attire...

MARVIN

I think...she's in the midst of an identity crisis...

CADPIG

(Looking at MARVIN's arm)

Friendship bracelet. Still on the Martian's arm. All is well…

RITA

(Impatient)

Could we get this started please?

HOST

All right, here's how this is going to work. For this challenge, you'll each be locked inside a giant wicker man. There are three different levels separated by gates. On each level, there are hundreds of different keys on the floor. You must find the correct key to unlock each gate. Once you've reached the head on top, you will unlock a final escape hatch. You will scale down the wicker man and hurry to your respective torches. You will then light a flag…guaranteeing immunity and a spot at Final Tribal…to plead your case for one million dollars. Sound easy? Well, not so much. Your wicker men will be lit on fire. If the heat becomes too much for you to take, and the fire gets to your level, you will be removed immediately by a member of our production crew…

* * *

(Cut to several minutes later. CADPIG, MARVIN, and RITA are each locked in the first section of their WICKER STATUES. The HOST stands on his MAT, smiling at them)

HOST

Before we start, let's welcome some old friends. They've agreed to help our production crew with this challenge…in exchange for a higher paycheck...

RITA

What happened to your production crew?

HOST

Wakko's cartoon outburst made half of them quit. Ah, here they come now….

(KATZ, DAGGETT, and NORBERT enter out of the BUSHES)

HOST

Welcome back Katz, Daggett, and Norbert. They just came back from their pre-merge vacation in Vegas. They'll be lighting your wicker statues on fire...

RITA

Is it safe to let these idiots play with fire? I mean - Katz is a sociopath—

KATZ

I prefer the term...bored...

HOST

Then you can have Daggett, Rita-

RITA

What?!

DAGGETT

Voted me out, eh? We'll see about that, pussy cat….

RITA

Hey Daggy-waggy, you ever kiss a Survivor finalist before?

DAGGETT

What's it to you?

RITA

I don't know. I might inhale smoke; might need mouth to mouth. But - if you're going to give me attitude-

DAGGETT

I've kissed tons of girls!

NORBERT

Mom doesn't count, Dag... Hi Rita. Glad to see you got dragged to the end...

RITA

I don't talk to pre-merge morons…

KATZ

(To MARVIN)

Hello old friend. Y'know, if I hadn't been a professional racquetball player…I may have very well been an arsonist...

MARVINE

Do your worse, Katz...

HOST

Cadpig, you'll get Norbert then. I don't think you two have ever met...?

NORBERT

Como estas, sentor-tita? Norbert Foster Beaver.

CADPIG

"The Spotted Bandit..." Our hands clasp as the day of final judgement approaches...

NORBERT

(After a moment)

Dag, do me a favor... stay away from this one…

* * *

_(Cut to the challenge several minutes later. RITA, CADPIG, and MARVIN are all locked in separate WICKER MEN. They are starting on the BOTTOM LEVEL. DAGGETT, NORBERT, and KATZ stand beside them holding BURNING TORCHES. The HOST stands on a nearby MAT ready to start) _

HOST

SURVIVORS READY? BURN!

KATZ

(Lighting MARVIN's WICKER MAN)

Let's warm up a bit, shall we?

DAGGETT

(Lighting RITA's WICKER MAN)

So, I...I don't need a kiss. But you should add me on Facebook...

NORBERT

(Lighting CADPIG's WICKER MAN)

I should have stayed in Vegas. I'm too hung over for this...

_(The wicker statues begin to burn. The CONTESTANTS scramble through the pile of KEYS, searching for the right one. RITA scrambles like mad, slamming different keys into the lock. MARVIN is slow, methodical. He examines each KEY carefully. CADPIG had buried her face in the PILE. She searches through like she's bobbing for apples) _

HOST

And we're off! Everyone is scrambling! Rita's searching! Marvin's taking his time! Cad...I mean, The Spotted Bandit...nose-deep in her work...

CADPIG

You're a dog; you're a dog. You have twenty-twenty vision—

RITA

Dogs see in black and white-

HOST

A lot of taunting, not a lot of unlocking! You don't want that fire to catch up...

RITA

I'm not taunting anyone…

(RITA grabs a particular KEY. She shoves it into the LATCH. She jiggles it for a moment. Then the latch opens)

HOST

RITA ESCAPES THE FIRST CHAMBER! Marvin and Cadpig, that fire is catching up! What are you thinking about right now?

MARVIN

An intergalactic taxi ride to Mars...

HOST

Cadpig?

CADPIG

"The Spotted Bandit doesn't—"

_(CADPIG's CAPE becomes clipped inside her WICKER MAN. She tugs at it but she can't get it off)_

HOST

DISASTER FOR CADPIG! SNAGGED BY HER OWN COSTUME!

CADPIG

Oh, forget this...

_(CADPIG rips off her CAPE. She's left only wearing DODGER's BANDANNA)_

HOST

Cadpig...abandons the superhero charade...

_(MARVIN jams a KEY into the LATCH. He jiggles it. It opens up. He moves on quickly to the second chamber)_

HOST

Marvin's onto his next chamber! Cadpig, you're wasting too much air! You're panicking!

_(CADPIG is panting inside her WICKER MAN. The SMOKE is starting to rise up around her)_

CADPIG

Gag reflex? Help? Please...?

HOST

Norbert, get her out of there!

_(NORBERT hurries over to the WICKER MAN, ready to save CADPIG. At the last minute however, she finds the right KEY. She jams it into the HATCH and frees herself. She goes climbing up to the next LEVEL)_

HOST

Cadpig, very close call! What's going on? What's with the superhero getup?

CADPIG

I don't need it. Look at all the things Peter Parker did when he wasn't Spider-Man...

DAGGETT

He...got fired from every job he had and lost all his girlfriends?

CADPIG

And he did it with style, bro...

HOST

You're all in the second chamber. This is anyone's game. Marvin's scrambling. It looks like he's found something—

MARVIN

Please work, please work...

_(MARVIN jams his KEY into the next HATCH. It jiggles. Then it opens up. He presses his way up into the FINAL SECTION. RITA and CADPIG are left scrambling, searching for KEYS)_

HOST

Marvin is through the passage. He's in the final chamber...

_(CADPIG finds her next KEY. She jams it into the HATCH. She opens it up, making her way to the FINAL CHAMBER. She struggles with the HATCH. RITA, from inside the other WICKER MAN, watches hesitantly)_

RITA

Cadpig - hear me out - before I get burned here...

CADPIG

You're messing up my flow…

RITA

You wouldn't stand a chance against Marvin! No matter what happens, no matter who wins this - look at him, he's like Dante crawling out of the underworld!

HOST

Marvin has found his final key! He's getting ready to leave! Cadpig is entering the third; it's going to be close...

RITA

I'm sorry. For everything. Please. Just give me a chance...

CADPIG

I can't side with both of you…

_(CADPIG forces her way up into the FINAL CHAMBER. Just as she does, RITA jams her own KEY into the HATCH. She forces her way into her THIRD CHAMBER as well. As all of this is happening, MARVIN has made his way out through the THIRD CHAMBER. He climbs out of the WICKER MAN, emerging at the HEAD. He begins to scale down the LADDER)_

HOST

Cadpig is out of the chamber! Rita is out! Marvin is scaling down his wicker man...

CADPIG

What color is it? Which one?

RITA

Blue! The blue key! Just don't let him win...

HOST

Cadpig and Rita! Putting their differences aside to stop Marvin! They're now through. It's neck-and-neck...

_(CADPIG and RITA use their BLUE KEYS. They force their way out of their CHAMBERS. SMOKE billows out as they emerge at the TOP. They begin to scale down their LADDERS. MARVIN has almost reached the BOTTOM. RITA watches him, terrified, realizing she has no chance. Without warning, RITA jumps off the LADDER – twenty-feet. She goes plummeting to the ground. A crack is heard)_

CADPIG

(Dropping down beside her)

Rita, did you break something?

RITA

There's no more challenges. I don't care...

_(MARVIN sees the GIRLS are behind him. He begins to sprint toward the finish line. RITA hobbles her way after him, struggling to keep up. CADPIG breaks her way into second, trying to catch MARVIN. They run neck-and-neck)_

CADPIG

For my family...

MARVIN

For Mars...

RITA

For this stupid damn game…

_(MARVIN seizes the TORCH at his FLAG. He raises it upward and torches the FLAG. It catches on FIRE. CADPIG makes a flying leap to light her own, but it isn't enough. MARVIN raises his hands, triumphant. He collapses to the ground)_

HOST

THATS IT! MARVIN LIGHTS HIS TORCH! HIS FOURTH WIN! A NEW RECORD! MARVIN WINS FINAL IMMUNITY!

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes later. MARVIN steps forward. The HOST places the IMMUNITY NECKLACE around his NECK, securing it. RITA and CADPIG lay on the ground nearby. They look absolutely defeated. RITA, in particular, is struggling to hide her tears)_

HOST

Marvin…guaranteed a spot in the Final Tribal Council…where he will plead his case for one-million dollars. Rita, you're hurt. What happened?

RITA

(Sniffling)

I jumped….

HOST

So the good news is this this puts you at no disadvantage. We have no more challenges. We'll get you bandaged up. Get a cast on you. Marvin could still very well choose to take you to the end. Grab your stuff, guys. See you tomorrow night…for one last vote-off...


	33. In The Valley Of Death, Part IV

_(Cut back to CAMP. RITA and MARVIN are sitting by the CAMPFIRE. MARVIN is securing a CAST around RITA's injured LEG with DUCT TAPE. She looks anything but happy about it)_

RITA

It just had to be you doing this...of all people—

MARVIN

I know how to put on a cast. I trained in—

RITA

_(Finishing for him)_

Yes. The Martian Academy. Give it a rest-

MARVIN

_(Fixing the CAST)_

There….

RITA

What are you going to do with the money?

MARVIN

What would you do?

RITA

I mean - you're going to Final Tribal. You going to buy a Lambourghini? Score some chicks?

MARVIN

I'm going to build a house…

RITA

Where?

MARVIN

On the outskirts of Asteroid City. It's a city on Mars. It's going to be made out if tin…and I'll live there my dog. They'll be a glass ceiling...so every night...we can see the stars. We'll see the water sliding off the roof...

RITA

You don't look too happy…

MARVIN

I haven't built it…

RITA

No. I mean, for someone who might have just won a million dollars…you just don't seem excited...

MARVIN

You should know me better by now...

(Pause)

RITA

Are you still taking me to the end?

MARVIN

Yes…

RITA

You spend thirty-nine days trying to get along with people. Now you're going to run away and hide forever?

MARVIN

What would_ you_ spend the money on?

RITA

I'd get out of the streets. I'd get out of the shelters. I'd move to Mexico. Or Nicaragua. I'd sell things…like trinkets and stuff…

MARVIN

So you want to run away too…

(MARVIN places another piece of TAPE over RITA's CAST)

You're snug as a bug...

_(MARVIN gets up to walk away. RITA glares at him, studying him closely)_

RITA

Hey – just so you know – if you take me to the Final Two – I'm not going to hold back…

MARVIN

I'd expect nothing more …

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional. He's struggling to smile but it's difficult)_

MARVIN

It just seemed different…when I pictured myself winning before. Of course…I'll be home soon….and…then I'll have everything I ever wanted…

* * *

_(Cut to somewhere out in the DESERT. The remnants of the TOON APOCALYPSE caused by WAKKO. Random OBJECTS are still scattered everywhere. CADPIG stands near a BATHTUB sitting by a BOULDER. She peers into it, looking concerned about something. MARVIN appears. He clears his throat and walks up beside her)_

MARVIN

What are you looking at in there?

CADPIG

It's a barracuda….

_(The camera pans into the BATHTUB. There's indeed a BARACUDDA swimming in the TUB, trapped inside)_

CADPIG

From Wakko's toon-pocalypse yesterday….

_(MARVIN reaches his HANDS down to pick it up)_

CADPIG

No, don't touch it! It will bite your finger!

MARVIN

Are you trying to free it?

CADPIG

It swims to one end of the bathtub. Then it can't go any further.

MARVIN

Maybe it doesn't realize it's trapped….

CADPIG

That's even sadder…

MARVIN

Are you all right?

CADPIG

(Quietly)

I'm happy for you…

MARVIN

Well, let me free your barracuda—

CADPIG

No, stop. It bit me before—

_(MARVIN glances nearby. There's a small GLASS CONTAINER. He reaches down and picks it up. He uses the GLASS CONTAINER to scoop up the FISH. He holds it inside, displaying it for CADPIG)_

MARVIN

There. He's safe now. We can put him in the pond later…

CADPIG

Okay…

MARVIN

Are you nervous if I'm taking you to the end?

CADPIG

I just have to hope for the best…

MARVIN

I mean –you have a case to make—

CADPIG

(Annoyed)

What case?

MARVIN

To win..?

_(No response)_

Cadpig…?

CADPIG

Maybe.

MARVIN

Where's this coming from?

CADPIG

I'm – I'm past it.

MARVIN

What do you mean?

CADPIG

The game. It's like...if you _choose_ to take me to the end, fine, but—

MARVIN

Well, it's not over until somebody wins...

CADPIG

Well, I don't want to_ think_ about it!

MARVIN

Have you _given _up?

(Pause)

You haven't given up because you're scared of the Jury…?

CADPIG

Of course not!

MARVIN

Then what is it?

CADPIG

I've tried my best!

MARVIN

What's worse? Owning what you've done? Or your friends hating you for being a victim!

CADPIG

Are you taking me to the end, Marvin?

MARVIN

I haven't decided! Just stop ganging up on yourself! The least you can do is stand by what you've done to your friends! If you don't – then what did they all suffer for?

_(Pause. He rummages into his BAG)_

I just…wanted to give you something...

_(MARVIN reaches into his KNAPSACK. He pulls out the SHOOTING STAR that WAKKO gave him earlier. He holds it weakly to CADPIG)_

CADPIG

(Shocked)

I can't…

MARVIN

I don't know who else to give it to..

CADPIG

What does this mean between us?

MARVIN

We're friends…no matter what...

* * *

_(Cut to RITA in a confessional. She is confined to the SHELTER with her broken leg)_

RITA

I need a fix, man. God. Once I get back home…I'll put away friggin' Mojitos until my liver gives out….

_(Pause)_

But for now, I'm disabled. If Marvin takes Cadpig to the end, he couldslaughter her. I don't want that…

_(She rubs her paws together)_

So…I'm going to take some precautions…

_(Cut back to the center of CAMP. MARVIN returns to the SHELTER. He holds the FISH in the GLASS CONTAINER. RITA stares at in confusion)_

RITA

What's that?

MARVIN

Your new boyfriend….

(RITA doesn't say anything. She just clicks her tongue, staring at him. MARVIN shakes his head and places the FISH down in the BOX)

MARVIN

How's your leg treating you?

RITA

(Smiling at him)

I feel like a million bucks…

MARVIN

(After a moment)

I'm…taking you to the end.

RITA

Yeah, good thing too…

(Pause)

Because if you weren't…I'd end up on the Jury…and after what you did to Sonic… I could really attack you for that…

(Pause)

But you're taking me to the end… I'll just keep quiet…

(MARVIN just stares at her in shock. RITA offers him a handful of BERRIES)

Have some berries, Marvin...

* * *

_(Cut to CADPIG crouched in the BATHTUB out in the DESERT. She is playing the blues on a HARMONICA) _

CADPIG

_"Ain't got a hope left to lend. Rita's going to the end..."_

_(There is a rustling nearby in the BUSHES. CADPIG stops for a second, bewildered. Nothing happens. She shrugs and keeps playing the HARMONICA. After a moment, the rustling picks up again)_

CADPIG

Hello...? Are you, like, a dinosaur?

_(CADPIG climbs out of the BATHTUB and crosses over. Something emerges from the BUSHES - a familiar animal with long ears and very dirty fur)_

CADPIG

HOPSALOT!

(CADPIG picks up the BUNNY and hugs it. It squeaks happily)

CADPIG

Don't worry. I'll never let anything bad happen to you...

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional. She is teary-eyed, smiling. HOPSALOT sits on her SHOULDER)_

CADPIG

Marvin gave me this whole spiel about being a victim. But I'm not crying because of _that._ I mean - I'm not excited for the Jury to yell at me – but – this is the first time I've felt like I had a _chance..._

_(Cut to CADPIG out in the DESERT. The sun is setting behind her. HOPSALOT walks behind her, tied to a LEASH like a ROPE)_

_(Cut back to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

At my farm, I conduct psychological experiments. I throw colored balls into chicken pens, and I see if they conform to a certain color. Or I lay down in the pasture and pretend I'm dead and see if anyone cares. With Hopsalot…I'm going to pull some psychological warfare…on Rita and Marvin….

_(Pause. She smiles)_

Marvin's only considering taking Rita because he thinks they're_ both_ villains. He's ignoring that she's been strategic. So - how about this?

_(Cut to CADPIG at the center of CAMP. She rummages into a BASKET of FRUITS and VEGETABLES. She pulls out THREE CARROTS)_

_(Cut back to CADPIG in a confessional. HOPSALOT sits in her lap)_

CADPIG

I dump_ carrots_ in Rita's leg cast. That way…Hopsalot refuses to pay attention to Marvin. He'll be all over Rita. Then…while Marvin's _pet's_ ignoring him...I just start tearing into him about how Rita's a strategic threat. Marvin then resents Rita not only logically…but emotionally...because his old pet's now sucking up to his enemy right in _front_ of him.

_(She sighs and pets HOPSALOT, sitting in her lap)_

I have to work his subconscious. I have to go for his heart…at the same time I go for his head…And all that...might be _enough_ to turn him against her...

* * *

_(Cut to the SHELTER. RITA is trying to rest her LEG, clearly in a lot of pain. CADPIG walks up and crosses into the SHELTER)_

RITA

Cadpig, do me a favor - the medical team dropped off morphine. It's the blue bottle there. Can you give it to me?

CADPIG

Sure –

(CADPIG crawls over to grab the MORPHINE. As she does, she takes the CARROTS and drops them into RITA's LEG CAST. RITA doesn't notice)

CADPIG

But…it came with a special bonus…

_(CADPIG reaches into her KNAPSACK. She pulls out HOPSALOT. He squeaks and jumps onto RITA)_

RITA

What? Where'd you find this thing?

CADPIG

Off in the desert. He was lost. Look at that. He _likes _you...

_(MARVIN peeks his head into the SHELTER. He looks astounded)_

MARVINE

Hopsalot? Is that my bunny?

RITA

(A little annoyed)

Yeah - it's - here you go, Marvin...

(RITA tries to pick up MARVIN. He doesn't leave. He just snuggles up closer to RITA. MARVIN looks confused)

MARVIN

Hopsalot, it's me, remember? Did...did you feed him or something?

RITA

Hopsalot, _he's_ your owner. Not me….

MARVIN

(A little hurt)

Did…did he forget about me?

CADPIG

(Muttering to herself)

You're not a villain. You're not a villain…

* * *

_(Cut to later that night. It is raining outside again. RITA, MARVIN, and CADPIG are gathered together in the SHELTER. WATER spills down through cracks in the ceiling. They look absolutely miserable. HOPSALOT is still snuggled up close to RITA. CADPIG lays beside MARVIN. She whispers into his ear)_

CADPIG

_(Whispering)_

She has Sonic's vote...

MARVIN

I know...

CADPIG

Cat...Timon...maybe one of the Warners. She could _beat_ you...

RITA

Stop it with that! I'm trying to sleep! I'm doped up on pills! Can't you scheme when I'm, like, coherent? And get Hopsalot away from me...please-

CADPIG

_(Coldly)_

It's not my fault. He likes you...

_(RITA rolls her eyes. She doesn't respond)_

She's shutting me out. She knows it's the truth...

RITA

You'd have Courage! Dodger! Who else? I'm nocturnal. I can stay up all night. Go! Tell me why I'm going to win!

MARVIN

(Softly)

Does it feel like you're going to?

RITA

Why do you care?

CADPIG

I...I think the bunny has to urinate, guys...

RITA

_(Rolling her eyes)_

That's on you, Marvin.

CADPIG

Are you sure you don't want me to do it?

MARVIN

Stay here! Both of you! I'll be right back with him...

_(MARVIN rips HOPSALOT away from RITA with difficulty. HOPSALOT squeaks, clearly not interested in being with MARVIN. MARVIN carries him out of the SHELTER and off into the RAIN. Stiff silence between the OTHERS)_

RITA

(Breaking the silence)

I know what you're trying to do, Cadpig. You're trying to take him away from me. But I'll tell you right now: if we had to race for a finish line for him, I'd sprint. I'd sprint through the rain... until it froze my bones. That's how badly I want to beat him...

CADPIG

Why do you hate Marvin so much?

RITA

Because he's a monster! Don't you see that?

CADPIG

You just want to see him that way...

RITA

Why?

CADPIG

Because you're just _like_ him...

(_Pause)_

I...I've never judged you. I even tried to like you. Why do you think everyone's the enemy?

RITA

(Quietly)

Look, no matter what happens... you're all right. You played a good game...

_(Cut to several minutes later. The rain outside is even worse now. CADPIG glances at RITA worriedly. Lightning flashes in the SKY)_

CADPIG

I'm going to go out there. He's been gone forever...

_(RITA doesn't respond at first. CADPIG grabs her KNAPSACK. She starts to get ready. After a moment, RITA groans and gets up. She reaches for her WOODEN CRUTCHES in the CORNER)_

RITA

I'll come with you. Cmon...let's go...

* * *

_(Cut to somewhere off in the DESERT. MARVIN is walking alone with HOPSALOT. He drags him on his LEASH, trying to usher him along. HOPSALOT pulls on the LEASH, struggling to break away)_

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

I have to pick one of them. In between...all the manipulation...the trickery...I just needed to get some air...

(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)

MARVIN

I keep picturing that house on Mars. The one I'm going to build that. With the tin roof. With the solar panels. With the barb-wire fence...to keep out intruders. I'm standing on the outside...looking in at myself...I'm getting older and older...

_(Pause. He struggles to say something)_

I…I don't think I want that after all…

_(Pause)_

I need a reason…a reason to stay on Earth. I'll go to Europe. I'll go to California. I don't know – I'll even take up walking dogs somewhere for money. I'll go anywhere. I just…I need the million dollars to start over…

_(Cut back to the scene. HOPSALOT urinates behind a ROCK, MARVIN sits nearby, hugging himself, waiting for him to be done. He is drenched in RAINWATER)_

_(Cut back to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

They each come with their challenges. Cadpig's been social. Rita's been strategic. I just...don't know which one would be the bigger mistake

_(Cut back to the SCENE. HOPSALOT seems to sniff something. He breaks away from MARVIN, running off into the BUSHES. MARVIN blinks, realizing he was too busy thinking. He turns and takes off after him)_

MARVIN

Where are you off to? Come _back_….

_(Cut to several minutes later. HOPSALOT is sitting in front of a small BURROW in the ground. He is squeaking, trying to make his way inside. Something is keeping him inside. MARVIN make his way through the RAIN. He walks up beside him)_

MARVIN

What's this?

_(MARVIN kneels down and looks the BURROW. The BURROW picks up a fully-grown PREGNANT JACKRABBIT – presumably, HOPSALOT'S MOTHER. It is crouched in the corner, huddling from the rain. HOPSALOT is squeaking, trying to be allowed back inside. The MOTHER squeaks in response, keeping him out)_

MARVIN

(After a moment)

You...you have a family…

_(HOPSALOT tries to burrow his way in. His MOTHER crawls forward, pushing him back out. MARVIN picks up HOPSALOT. He strokes him in his lap)_

MARVIN

You're too old. Your mother's pregnant. She's having a new litter Now you can't go back to live with her. That's…that's why you came to our camp to begin with...

_(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)_

MARVIN

I think...whoever wins the million...should have complete devotion to bettering their future. To changing themselves. I can't base this on just logic. Especially since they're equal threats. It's just going to come down...to who I _think _would use the money wisely…

(He pauses)

I think...I'm going to conduct an experiment…

* * *

_(Cut to several yards away. CADPIG and RITA walk through the rain together. CADPIG helps RITA limp her way along on her CRUTCHES. After a moment, MARVIN crawls out from behind some BUSHES. He waves to them, getting their attention)_

RITA

Marvin, what're you doing out here? It's freezing!

MARVIN

I lost Hopsalot! Can we split up and look for him?

CADPIG

He's all alone...in the cold, dark world? Where are you, buddy...?

(CADPIG takes off running. RITA stares coldly at MARVIN)

RITA

Where'd you last see him?

(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)

I gave the girls a choice to make...and whoever...made the_ right_ one...to show that they'd grown out here...I decided to bring them with me...

_(Cut back to the scene. Back to the BURROW. HOPSALOT is still sitting out in the RAIN, trying to make his way into the BURROW. He squeaks at his MOTHER. RITA wanders into the scene on her CRUTCHES. She squints at HOPSALOT, making him out through the RAIN. Then she kneels down beside him)_

RITA

What the hell are you doing?

_(RITA glances inside the BURROW. She sees the MOTHER. She makes the connection)_

RITA

C'mon, he's your baby. Let him back in….

_(RITA tries to shove HOPSALOT into the BURROW. His MOTHER refuses. RITA tries a few times – the same result. Angrily, she pushes HOPSALOT deep into the BURROW. He becomes stuck, unable to crawl around his MOTHER)_

_RITA_

Don't leave, all right? She's your mother. She can't do that…

(RITA limps off in the other direction. A flash of lightning. MARVIN is seen behind a BUSH, having watched all of this. A moment's pause. CADPIG makes her way into the CLEARING. She turns her head just as HOPSALOT is pushed out of the SHELTER again)

CADPIG

Hopsalot?

_(CADPIG hurries over and kneels down. She looks into the BURROW and sees HOPSALOT'S MOTHER)_

CADPIG

She's pregnant! The circle of life continues!

_(She glances down at HOPSALOT. He squeaks feebly, nudging in her arms)_

CADPIG

You want to go back home...don't you, little guy? Well, here, let's put you inside...

_(CADPIG tries to place HOPSALOT in the BURROW. Again, his MOTHER squeaks angrily and forces him out)_

CADPIG

Are you not welcome?

_(HOPSALOT squeaks again. He nudges into CADPIG, urging her to help him. CADPIG glances down sadly. She looks around, looking for the OTHERS. It's only her)_

CADPIG

(Finally speaking)

I'm sorry Hopsalot. You're too old. I...I don't think you belong here anymore...

_(She places HOPSALOT on the ground. She faces him in the other direction. He stares off into the EMPTY VALLEY. HOPSALOT looks back at her, curious, not understanding. CADPIG looks on the verge of tears)_

CADPIG

Go on. Get. Off into the big blue yonder. You can't be angry at her. It's not worth it. You have to move on...

(_CADPIG gives HOPSALOT a light nudge. He squeaks and hurries off behind a BUSH. Just like that, he's gone. CADPIG sniffles a little, trying to hide her tears. After a moment, MARVIN crawls out from the BUSHES. He looks at CADPIG questionably)_

CADPIG

(After a moment)

He scampered away...

MARVIN

It's all right, Cadpig. I think...that was what he needed...

* * *

_(Cut back to CAMP. The STORM has passed. The time for TRIBAL COUNCIL is fast approaching. RITA and MARVIN sit together by the CAMPFIRE. RITA stares out into the flames, unsure of what to say)_

RITA

I did the same thing to Norbert in the beginning. I…I was mad at you for Sonic...but...I tore Norbert apart from his brother too...

_(Pause)_

Crap - Marvin - this isn't easy to say...

MARVIN

Are you apologizing?

RITA

No. You're my competition. You're not getting my sympathy. But...I mean I wish there was an easier way to say this...

MARVIN

(Smiling)

You'd still love to smack me across the face, don't you?

RITA

You got a baseball bat?

MARVIN

No. But I have these sticks…

(He picks up some STICKS beside the CAMPFIRE. He throws one in RITA's LAP)

Best two out of three?

RITA

Even with a busted leg...?

_(RITA smiles. She struggles to stand up with her CRUTCHES. MARVIN guides her to her feet. They each hold a STICK. They grin at each other, ready to start fighting)_

RITA

Just you know...this officially decides who win. Tribal Council tonight's just for show...

MARVIN

Go...

_(RITA and MARVIN begin to fight with the STICKS. RITA stumbles back with her CRUTCHES, trying to hold her GROUND. They fight like pirates, jabbing each other back and forth. _

_At last, RITA gets the final jab. She hits MARVIN in the side, throwing him off balance. He collapses to the ground. RITA, playfully, allows herself to fall with him. She lands on top of him)_

MARVIN

(A little bewildered)

That felt good; that felt really good...

RITA

Are you still going to Mars?

MARVIN

Are you...still going to Mexico, did you say?

RITA

No. I don't speak Spanish.

RITA

But, y'know...when all's said and done. I sing at the Scarlet Cat Lounge in Burbank. Friday nights.

MARVIN

We have the weirdest relationship ever...

RITA

Yes. We do...

(Without warning, RITA jabs MARVIN in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. She rises to her feet, dusting herself off)

RITA

I'll save the rest for Council. Seeya...arch-enemy...

(RITA limps off to the SHELTER with her CRUTCHES. CADPIG emerges from behind the SHELTER. She hurries over to MARVIN and helps him up)

CADPIG

Marvin, did Rita just punch you?

MARVIN

(Chuckling a little)

She's...something _else_, isn't she?

CADPIG

Yeah - I mean - she's really changed herself. I think everyone would agree.

_(She lets that sink in for a second)_

You ready for Council?

* * *

_(Cut to TRIBAL COUNCIL. RITA, MARVIN, and CADPIG enter with their TORCHES. They lay them down against the RACK and take their SEATS. The HOST stands in his usual spot)_

_HOST_

Well, here we are – our final vote-off. Let's get to it. Rita, you will not be allowed to vote. You would only be able to vote for Cadpig. Cadpig, you will not be able to vote. You will only be able to vote for Rita. So…Marvin will be casting one vote…sending one of you home and deciding who he will be taking to Final Tribal. Marvin, any thoughts?

MARVIN

They're equally matched. Just in different ways. They've had similar stories. I'm making this decision personal…

HOST

Then let's get to it. You're up…

* * *

_(Cut to MARVIN in the VOTING BOOTH)_

MARVIN

You each come with your fair share of challenges. But...something tells me this is the right choice. Either way…I'm going to have a lot of work to do…

* * *

_(Cut back to the center of TRIBAL COUNCIL. MARVIN emerges and sits back down on the BENCH. RITA looks reasonably confident, but she's still biting her nails. CADPIG looks less thrilled. She's staring down at the floor, just waiting for this to be over._

_The HOST emerges from the HALLWAY with the URN of VOTES. He takes his place on the PODIUM)_

HOST

Once the votes are read, the decision is final. The person voted out will be asked to leave immediately. I will now read the votes…

* * *

**FOURTEENTH PERSON VOTED OUT AND THE EIGHTH AND FINAL MEMBER OF OUR JURY…**

**RITA**

* * *

_(Cut to CADPIG, MARVIN, and RITA's reactions. CADPIG is absolutely astounded. She cups her hands to her mouth. RITA is even more so. She stifles a laugh – she's in complete disbelief over what MARVIN's done. MARVIN, through it all, can't help but smile. He's probably not even sure why)_

HOST

Rita, time to bring me your torch…

RITA

Well...I can't wait to hear this story. Your defense better impress me...

_(RITA chuckles to herself. She gets up and crosses to get her TORCH. She strokes MARVIN's shoulder as she passes, tracing her CLAWS. She limps to the HOST and places her TORCH in the POST)_

HOST

Rita, the tribe has spoken...

(He puts out RITA's TORCH)

Time for you to go…

_(RITA turns back to MARVIN and CADPIG. She smiles sweetly. Then she gives CADPIG the middle finger. She whistles and walks down the HALLWAY, leaving for good. CADPIG seems perplexed for a moment. Then, smiling, she gives RITA a peace sign)_

HOST

Well, Marvin and Cadpig…you've made it as far as you possibly can in this game. Your fate now rests in the hands of the Jury…who will decide who is worthy of one million dollars. Enjoy one last night at camp. Good night…

* * *

**VOTE TALLY**

* * *

**MARVIN voted for RITA**

* * *

A/N: Well, farewell to one of my favorite characters in the story. I was so happy - and _surprised_ \- when people started to warm up to Rita. I think she's one of the more complicated characters in the story and her relationship with Marvin was really interesting to write.

There's a lot that's true about Rita. She's unpleasant, she's selfish, and let's just be frank, she's kind of a bitch. But we see people like that ever day, and they come with their own share of experiences and motivation. I wanted to take an extremely unlikable character and cast different shades as the story went on.

One-by-one, she basically became fixated on anyone who offered to be friends with her - Norbert, Marvin, and then Sonic. I think she was attracted to all three of them for different reasons. She saw Norbert as disingenuous and I think that caused a weird, romantic power struggle between them. She saw Marvin as a weaker than her at first, so she sort of took him under her wing out of sympathy. Then when she saw who he really was, she realized she was basically being used by him. It wasn't the other way around. Then finally, she came to Sonic. At that point, Rita was just so burnt out by the game and just needed a shoulder to cry on.

It's not going to elaborated on, since they're both on the Jury now, but it's worth saying that Rita and Sonic both probably stayed in touch after the game.

Anyway, I think Rita's a badass and adored writing her. She went from basically refusing to play the game to purposely hurting her leg to win a challenge. She didn't win...so...she'll have to settle for being the obligatory Survivor robbed goddess here. 3


	34. Final Tribal Council

_(Cut to the POND the following night. BUGS are chirping everywhere. The STARS are out. MARVIN and CADPIG sit by the edge of the POND together. Beside them, the BARACCUDA sits in the GLASS CONTAINER, ready to be set free into the POND)_

_CADPIG holds the SHOOTING STAR in her LAP._

CADPIG

Are you ready?

MARVIN

Yes. Let it go.

_(CADPIG throws the SHOOTING STAR into the air. It hangs there for a moment. Then it begins to float away, traveling back up into space. They watch it until it disappears completely)_

MARVIN

That was the closest I'll ever get to a star again...

CADPIG

Uh-huh...

MARVIN

(Chuckling a little)

No sympathy? No comfort?

CADPIG

We had a rule, Marvin. No more sympathizing. It's _anyone's game._

MARVIN

So...you're not going to hold back at Council?

CADPIG

Nope...

MARVIN

Good. I didn't expect you too.

_(He holds out a HAND)_

Good game, Cadpig...

CADPIG

Good game, Marvin…

_(CADPIG glances at him sweetly. She just hops up, ignoring his HAND. MARVIN seems taken aback. She crosses behind them and turns to the BOOM BOX from earlier, now sitting beside the POND. She turns it on. Music begins to play)_

CADPIG

Now here - you want to teach you to spin on your head?

MARVIN

_(Getting up)_

I'd be delighted...

CADPIG

Did you ever breakdance on Mars?

MARVIN

No. But you know me...I keep practicing until I'm perfect...

_(Suddenly, the BARACUDDA rises from the GLASS CONTAINER. It smiles at CADPIG and MARVIN. Without warning, it starts speaking)_

BARRACUDA

There's no such thing as perfect. You're beautiful as you are…Marvin and Cadpig. Even with your imperfections...you can do anything...

_(Pause. MARVIN and CADPIG stare blankly at the FISH, horrified)_

MARVIN

Throw it in the pond...?

CADPIG

In the pond...

_(MARVIN grabs the TANK. He tosses the FISH into the POND. It flops into the WATER and disappears)_

_(Cut to CADPIG in a confessional)_

CADPIG

I came into this game as a puppy. An underling. I'm leaving as a she-woman. A Siberian husky. A warrior. A woman raised by wolves. I can't have regrets. I have to stand by everything I've done...

(Cut to MARVIN in a confessional)

MARVIN

If I win... I'll do whatever I can to start over. I'll move away. Meet new people. I'd do anything...except children's birthday parties…and online dating.

(Pause)

But first...I have to beat Cadpig…

* * *

_(Cut to several minutes before TRIBAL COUNCIL. MARVIN and CADPIG stand in front of their OLD SHELTER. MARVIN rummages into his POCKET. He hands CADPIG an OLD LIGHTER – once belonging to ZIM)_

MARVIN

I suppose Zim came in handy after all. Would you like to do the honors?

_(CADPIG takes the LIGHTER. She leans forward and spins the LIGHTER. The SHELTER catches fire. They watch as it lights up the night, smoke billowing up into the sky above Death Valley)_

* * *

_(Cut to FINAL TRIBAL COUNCIL. CADPIG and MARVIN make their way through the DARK, holding their separate TORCHES. They take a seat on the LOGS – once able to fit ten people, but now empty aside from them. The HOST stands at his PODIUM, smiling as they sit down)_

HOST

Well…here we are. After thirty-nine hard fought days, your fates now rest in the hands of the very people that you've voted out. Let's bring them in…Courage…Dot...Cat…Timon…Dodger…Sonic…Wakko…and Rita….

_(The JURY enters one-by-one. They are all cleaned up now and wearing new clothes – or most of them, given their nature as animals, weren't wearing clothes to begin with. They take their seats on a BENCH near the HOST)_

HOST

One-by-one, the Jury will address you. They're free to ask any questions they'd like. Nothing is too personal. Nothing is off-limits….First, you'll be asked to make an opening statement. Cadpig…why don't we start with you?

(CADPIG doesn't respond. She seems shell-shocked, frightened by the JURY staring at her)

Cadpig?

CADPIG

(Nervous)

Um, what's up, my peeps?

(Pause)

I'm Cadpig. I'd like to compare my game to a…balloon animal…in that…it was twisted into lots of different ways, and manipulated, but…it never popped. I mean, it did pop, several times, but…I…I think I should be your Sole Survivor….?

(No response. The JURY just stares at her)

Thanks…?

DODGER

(Groaning)

Oh come on kid, don't bomb this early…

HOST

All right…Marvin?

MARVIN

Salutations. I'm Marvin the Martian. I'm campaigning tonight for one-million dollars. Um, I don't like to hurt people. That was a confused fact at times. I don't even like to feed fruit flies to my Venus fly trap. But…I…I believe I played a strategic, dominating, and tactical game…that overshadows Cadpig's. And I'll gladly accept any questions…

HOST

Then let's go to it. Cat…you're up first…

_(CAT rises from the JURY SEATS. For some reason, he has a GIANT CAPE behind his BACK. Something is hiding beneath it. He is also walking on all-fours now. He crosses over and stands in front of CADPIG and MARVIN. The flames from the TORCHES light up his face)_

CAT

Greetings.

MARVIN

Hello Cat. Why are you wearing a giant cape?

DOG

_(Under the CAPE)_

Cat, can I come out now?

CAT

No Dog, we're doing the Jury speeches…

MARVIN

You're conjoined again!

CAT

Entirely beside the point. Cadpig was right. She is a balloon…and you are too, Marvin. You're full of hot air. I'm here tonight to gathered information. As the great playwright Eugene Ionesco once said—

RITA

(To TIMON)

Yes, he quoted somebody! You owe me five bucks!

CAT

"It is not the answer that enlightens…but the question." If you're not going to enlighten me, I'll have to enlighten you. Marvin…you are a complication to me. You're a calculating, determined player, but do you think your arrogance should be overlooked? Do you even realize you were arrogant?

MARVIN

(Laughing)

Well, Cat here certainly knows a thing or two about arrogance—

CAT

I'm deciding your fate here, buddy—

MARVIN

Yes, I know. It was a joke. Look, I'm not a social butterfly. But if my attitude ever came across as condescension – I'm sorry…

CAT

Okay, Marvin…

MARVIN

I just apologized! You see that, right?

CAT

Yes, okay. I'm done with you. Cadpig…straighten up, look me in the eyes. I want to hear one move you made that wasn't someone telling you what to do…

CADPIG

Dodger.

MARVIN

Can I interject? I came to you about that—

CADPIG

I blindsided him myself.

MARVIN

Cat, I allied with Dodger so he'd be my shield. When the time came, I let Cadpig vote him out—

CADPIG

Okay, but dude, you just said it yourself – I voted him out—

MARVIN

I permitted you to.

DOG

Cat, it's getting woozy in here. Can we sit down?

CAT

I made my peace when I quit. I don't want enemies. Good luck to both of you…

(CAT nods to the FINALISTS and goes to sit down)

HOST

Timon, you're up…

_(TIMON rises from the JURY BENCH. He crosses over to the FINALISTS. He is holding several POSTERBOARDS, which seem to be crudely-drawn pictures of RESORT. Halfway there, he seems to think otherwise and tosses them to the side)_

MARVIN

Timon, what are those poster-boards for?

TIMON

(Quickly)

Nothing. It was a dumb idea…

MARVIN

Is that… a vacation resort?

TIMON

(Embarrassed)

I was going to ask…if the winner wanted to donate money to fund my meerkat resort – the one I told you about – but y'know what, that was selfish. So we're not going to do that…

MARVIN

I'll gladly look at them…

HOST

Sharing prize money is strictly prohibited…

TIMON

Forget it! This has been a nightmare! I just want to get out of here! Marvin…the night I was voted out, you had the perfect chance to off Dodger. You had my loyalty. Why did you betray me?

MARVIN

As I said before, Dodger was the biggest target in the game besides myself. As long as I kept him around, I wouldn't be a target…

CADPIG

But you were the target anyway…

TIMON

I didn't ask you….

CADPIG

Well, then I'll wait for you to reprimand me next…

TIMON

Cadpig, do you think your immaturity deserves my vote?

CADPIG

For real?

TIMON

Yes.

CADPIG

My immaturity?

TIMON

Yes.

CADPIG

Okay Timon, you threw a tantrum every time you were in the minority, you lost all of your friends, and to top it off, you stole Marvin's bunny. You're supposed to be the adult – and I'm the immature one here?

TIMON

Well, I just decided my vote then…

CADPIG

Wait, I'm just trying to understand why—

TIMON

I'm done.

HOST

Let her speak…

CADPIG

Why should immaturity be dismissed? I still had to fight to get here. I had to fight even harder…

TIMON

No, you didn't! You're the same person you were at the beginning! You never changed!

CADPIG

Well, that makes _two_ of us then…bunny-napper.

TIMON

(After a moment)

I rest my case…

_(TIMON nods and goes to sit down)_

HOST

Wakko, you're up.

_(WAKKO gets up and crosses to MARVIN and CADPIG. He smiles broadly at them)_

WAKKO

Greetings! Okay guys, I prepared a riddle…

MARVIN

You – wait – sorry – what?

WAKKO

There's a reason I'm doing this. You'll see. A penguin has tickets to a night club but the performance is cancelled…because the singer called in sick. The penguin walks downtown and can't get to the other side of the street…because there's a marathon going on…and one of the runners hasn't shown up yet. The penguin goes to a restaurant…where he finds two people eating at the table next to him. Who are they?

MARVIN

Wait – what's the diameter of the restaurant's floor?

CADPIG

It's Sonic and Rita. Rita was the nightclub singer. Sonic was the runner. It wasn't a riddle. You just wanted to see how much we remembered about everyone…

WAKKO

Touche…

MARVIN

Wakko, this has little to do with anything…

WAKKO

Yes, Marvin?

MARVIN

I can't name your favorite food…or the street you grew up on. But I didn't let my weaknesses control me. I turned them into strengths. I played until the sun was peeling the skin off my back. I worked for this. I never gave up. I'm not going to lose over a penguin…

WAKKO

Well…maybe you won't. Good luck, guys…

(WAKKO goes to sit down)

HOST

Sonic, you're up.

_(SONIC practically runs over to the FINALISTS. He raises his arms and grins at them)_

SONIC

Sup, bros. All right, so it's way past cool you got here. Radical. Cadpig, you're this crazy hippy dog person. Marvin, you're really smart, and chill, and you can, like, add big numbers together and stuff. But I'm only hooking one of you up with a million. Marvin, what's your greatest weakness?

MARVIN

I was arrogant. I admit it. I regret threatening everyone with the Idol at the merge. I regret how I treated you all. I hope that's enough…

SONIC

Do you think it is?

MARVIN

Of course! I voted out the whole Jury! I was unstoppable! What more do you want?

SONIC

Well, that was _also _pretty arrogant, but I'll take it. Cadpig…answer this any way you like…if a lot of people have called Marvin a villain, do you consider yourself a hero?

CADPIG

(After a moment)

No. I can't. Not in good constitution. I did things that disgusted me. That probably disgusted my parents…my brothers and sisters. I know there's people hurting here tonight. But do I apologize? No. I stand by what I did. You can't always be sorry. I'm looking you all in the eyes. I'm not tearing up. I'm not holding back. And I think that's the best I can do. So no …I'm not a hero…

SONIC

What if I needed you to say you were?

CADPIG

I'd refuse…

SONIC

Well, that takes the cake. Good luck. Good game…

(SONIC bows jokingly and goes to sit down)

HOST

Dodger, you're up.

(DODGER gets up and crosses over to the FINALISTS. He smirks at them)

DODGER

Usually when I'm testifying it's for cops, so excuse me if I'm a shifty. Let's see what we've got - Marvin, our rocket scientist, and Cadpig…our own little emotional roller coaster. Let's make this quick, folks. My vote's decided already. The night I went home, both of these guys played a part. But who led the brigade? Who led the charge to get me out? It wasn't Marvin. He lied to my face. He said he wouldn't vote me out. Cadpig flipped the script.

You want to reward Marvin? For blind arrogance? For being so insecure with himself that he had to lock himself in an air-tight little bubble? That's not living; that's not surviving. That's the easy way out. I've watched Cadpig in this game...and she never took the easy way out. Not once. There's blood on her hands...and she's still preaching to the rafters about how she deserves to sit here. You might say that Marvin is more strategic...more composed...but if you're a target at every Council, are you _really_ playing a good game?

Should you really rewarded for saying that your arrogance - your fatal flaw - is something that you couldn't change? Cadpig didn't play a perfect game...but she's shown us that none of us could…and we had to do the best with what we had. Cadpig, you have my vote. If Marvin wins, I'm jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge with my legs tied together

(DODGER winks at CADPIG. He goes back to sit down)

HOST

Dot, you're up…

(DOT rises and walks over. She looks anything but happy)

DOT

All right Marvin, I'm going to give you a _voice_ here. Make us believe Cadpig didn't know what the hell she was doing…

MARVIN

I told her to vote out everyone: Courage, Sonic, Wakko. I mean…what more do you want?

DOT

Cadpig, care to rebuttal?

CADPIG

I always positioned myself between bigger threats. I hopped between alliances. I used my Idol as leverage. When it came to make moves…I did. I blindsided Dodger. I used the fake Idol I found and gave it to Wakko to scare Marvin…

MARVIN

How'd that work out?

CADPIG

Sonic went home. That was a group decision. You don't get the credit for everything…

DOT

Cadpig, shut up.

CADPIG

Excuse me?

DOT

Do you really think you've grown up out here?

CADPIG

Do _you?_

DOT

The night I got voted out...I spent hours cleaning dirt out of my fur. I spent an hour in the shower. I cried on my bed. Alone—

CADPIG

Well Dot, you didn't even _want_ to win—

DOT

Shut up! Listen, if I could go back to the beginning, I'd _hate_ myself. Because seeing you up there right now – you disgust me. You're a leech. You hide behind people. You take credit for what they do. You call that growth. I'm not perfect. I wasn't ready for this game either. But you can't tell me that I don't want to change. If I could start this game over…I'd kill to be sitting where you are right now…

MARVIN

(After a moment)

Can I interject?

DOT

Please…

MARVIN

I don't know how to express it to all of you. If I could've reinvented myself out here, I _would've._ In a heartbeat. I don't expect your sympathy for that. I just hope you'll...understand I did everything I _could _to sit here…

DOT

It's okay. I'm done with her.

HOST

Are you sure?

DOT

Yes…

_(DOT nods and goes to sit down)_

HOST

Courage, you're next…

_(COURAGE sighs. He takes a deep breath and crosses to the FINALISTS. CADPIG can barely look at him)_

COURAGE

Marvin, I have one question for you. Did you tell Cadpig to vote me out?

MARVIN

Yes. I did.

COURAGE

Good. That's all I need.

(He turns to CADPIG)

Hello Cadpig…

COURAGE

Hello Courage…

(Silence)

CADPIG

You can go whenever you're ready….

COURAGE

(After a moment)

One time in this game…you asked me to tell you three interesting facts about myself. The first…is that I'm scared of gerbils. The second…is that I hate the taste of flan. The third…is that I lost my best friend out here...

(Pause)

Was it genuine, Cadpig?

CADPIG

I never meant to hurt you…

COURAGE

It doesn't matter. I just wanted you to know…you were the first person that ever believed in me. So…even if it wasn't sincere…I have to thank you …

_(COURAGE turns to walk away. After a second, CADPIG calls out to stop him)_

CADPIG

Do you want to hear three interesting facts about me?

COURAGE

Go.

CADPIG

I live on a farm in Minnesota. I'm the best aspiring psychologist I know…and even though I'm sorry I hurt you…this isn't about you tonight...

_(Pause)_

When I look back at the beginning…I feel like I'm looking through a mirror at a funhouse. I'm sorry I hurt you. But I had to save myself. I need to win for my family…

COURAGE

We all have families…

CADPIG

I know…

_(CADPIG starts to sniffle, but she stops herself. She doesn't cry)_

COURAGE

Do you want to cry?

CADPIG

I just…I feel like we're saying goodbye…

COURAGE

Well, you can cry…

CADPIG

I don't know how anymore…

COURAGE

Well, this is awkward then…

(Pause)

I think…I mean, you're welcome in Kansas….

CADPIG

(On the verge of tears)

You're welcome in Minnesota…

COURAGE

Really, you can cry. It's okay. I don't mind…

CADPIG

(Sharply)

I told you. I don't know how anymore.

HOST

Courage, your time's up.

COURAGE

_(Staring at her)_

It's fine. I've made my decision…

(COURAGE nods weakly and goes to sit down)

HOST

Rita…finish us off…

(RITA smirks and rises up from the JURY BENCH. She walks over and stands before the FINALISTS.

RITA

Normally when I'm under spotlight, there's men throwing dollars at me. Good to see it's the other way around tonight. Now…I don't have any questions. My vote's made up. Marvin deserves to win… …

SONIC

(Shocked)

Say what?

RITA

Listen. We all came into this game as strangers. It was so easy _– too_ easy – to vilify each other for what we needed to do - survive. I'm not saying Marvin's a good person…but come on…look at what we were all asked to do out here! He has blood on his hands! Sure! We all do! I don't _like _you, Marvin. But I respect you. That's more than I can say for the coattail rider sitting next to you. Strip away Cadpig's Idol. She'd have been voted out ages ago. C'mon guys - stop being prissy! Just give Marvin what he deserves!

_(She locks eyes with MARVIN)_

Marvin, I consider you a rival…and I'll be waiting for the day where we'll fight again. You have my vote. I hope you get four more…

MARVIN

(Smiling)

I'll be waiting, Rita…

_(RITA bows humbly. She goes to sit back down)_

HOST

Well, there you have it. It's time to vote…one last time. Dodger…you're up…

* * *

_(Cut to DODGER in the VOTING BOOTH)_

DODGER

You've got spunk. I _like_ it. If you ever hit the East Coast, give your Uncle Dodge a call. You're an unofficial member of my gang now…

_(Cut to RITA in the VOTING BOOTH)_

RITA

You have my address. So, y'know, if you ever get lonely with K-9…hit me up. Spend it wisely...

_(Cut to CAT in the VOTING BOOTH)_

CAT

Rita said that your Idol gave you invulnerability in the game. I don't think that's true, because Marvin had an Idol too…and everyone was constantly trying to blindside him. I never thought I'd give a dog a million dollars…but enjoy.

_(He pauses for a moment)_

And I…I hope you're not as mad at me as everyone else…

_(Cut to TIMON in the VOTING BOOTH)_

TIMON

I don't like sob stories. I don't like her. And I know you don't like me. But I can stomach you winning the easiest…

(Cut to SONIC in the VOTING BOOTH)

SONIC

Dude, you're rad...and I can't wait until you're famous and they put you on Gatorade bottles and stuff. Team Sonic…signing out…

(Cut to DOT in the VOTING BOOTH)

DOT

Cadpig, I'm sorry I exploded. I have a lot of growing up to do. But…I'm not voting for you tonight….

_(Cut to WAKKO in the VOTING BOOTH)_

WAKKO

Sorry Marvin...my hand slipped…

_(Cut to COURAGE in the VOTING BOOTH)_

COURAGE

I don't know if you're going to win…but…I time heals all wounds…

* * *

_(Cut back to the center of TRIBAL COUNCIL. The HOST emerges with the URN of VOTES. He takes his spot on the PODIUM)_

HOST

Well, I thank you all for what has been a dramatic, adventurous, and exiting season of Survivor. The votes have been tabulated. We'll see you back in Los Angeles for the live reading. But first…can someone get this costume off of me?

_(TWO PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS enter. They cross over to the HOST and pull a ZIPPER down on the side of his HEAD. His whole BODY unravels. A MUSTOUCHED MAN steps out)_

MARVIN

Walt Disney!?

CADPIG

I thought you were cryogenically frozen!

WALT DISNEY

It was a Survivor season about cartoon characters. Who else? Now get me out of here…I have dinner at seven-o-clock with Elvis and Kurt Cobain…

_(WALT DISNEY is led away by the PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS. Short silence. Everyone glances at each other uncertainly)_

SONIC

_(Breaking the silence)_

So…how about that after-party?

* * *

_(Cut to the REUNION SHOW back in LOS ANGELES. The lights drift out of the darkness. We pan down the aisle to a colorful stage outfitted in remnants from the season. There's a CAGE with a RABBIT, a canopy of PARACHUTES, and BUCKET of MUSHROOMS sitting near the edge of the stage._

_The ENTIRE CAST is seated in THREE ROWS of BLEACHERS, dressed-up, waiting for the final vote. Note should be taken to CAT and DOG - who have been successfully conjoined._

_The camera pans over to the other side of the STAGE._

_MARVIN and CADPIG sit side-by-side on two BARRELS. They hold hands, anxious, waiting. There's thunderous applause._

_The HOST makes his way down the AISLE carrying the URN. He climbs on his PODIUM on stage)_

HOST

Well, after thirty-nine hard fought days, we've made it. Marvin and Cadpig…two very different players, two very different games. Let's find out who the Jury found more deserving. Tonight…you _want_ to see your name. I'll read the votes…

* * *

**FIRST VOTE**

**CADPIG**

**SECOND VOTE**

**MARVIN**

**THIRD VOTE**

**CADPIG**

**FOURTH VOTE**

**CADPIG**

**FIFTH VOTE**

**MARVIN**

**SIXTH VOTE**

**MARVIN**

**SEVENTH VOTE**

**CADPIG**

**EIGHTH VOTE**

**CADPIG**

**The winner of Survivor: Animation Brawl…**

**CADPIG**

* * *

_(CADPIG collapses to the ground. Her hands are cupped over her face. The AUDIENCE goes wild._

_MARVIN takes a deep breath. He nods glumly. He reaches down to CADPIG. Awkwardly, he offers her a handshake. Instead, CADPIG swings him into an embrace. She hugs him, shaking him back and forth._

_CADPIG bolts down into the AUDIENCE. Her entire family - LUCKY, her parents, the rest of her siblings – are seated in the front row. CADPIG jumps into LUCKY, almost tackling him to the ground. The AUDIENCE chants her name: "CADPIG! CADPIG! CADPIG!"_

_Suddenly, somebody parts their way through the crowd. COURAGE stands on the other side. He glances at CADPIG uncertainly, smiling, unsure of what to do. Awkwardly, he holds out a hand._

_CADPIG grins at him. Without warning, she leaps into a flying hug. She tackles him to the floor._

_The camera drifts back to the stage. The HOST crosses down into the AUDIENCE with his microphone)_

HOST

Well, there you have it! After over a month in Death Valley, Cadpig is our Sole Survivor! Stay tuned for a sneak preview and get ready to see where we're going next! I'm your host…signing out. Have a good one…and keep surviving…

* * *

**FINAL VOTE TALLY**

* * *

**SONIC voted for CADPIG**

**WAKKO voted for CADPIG**

**DOT voted for MARVIN**

**TIMON voted for MARVIN**

**RITA voted for MARVIN**

**CAT voted for CADPIG**

**COURAGE voted for CADPIG**

**DODGER voted for CADPIG**

* * *

A/N: First of all, thank you everyone - both online and in real life - who read this story and offered support and encouragement...

Cadpig was always the winner. I loved her voice, her spunk, her self-righteousness, and how she slowly grew up over the course of the game. I stand by everything that Dodger said in the Final Tribal. Marvin and Cadpig had Idols at the exact same time. While everyone was struggling to blindside Marvin with his Idol in his pocket, Cadpig was able to maneuver herself socially. If you're the target at every single Council, then you obviously did something to attract unwarranted attention. I think strategically, Marvin played an amazing game. He just didn't have the empathy or the ability to articulate it in the end. When he apologized, he was genuinely confused why nobody cared - and after that, he didn't have anything else to fall back on but arrogance. It's kind of sad in a way, but what can you do?

I'm not sure how the ending would have worked out if things played out differently. I think a Rita versus Marvin ending would have been really close as well. They were both viewed similarly on a personal level. The bottom line is that either scenario - Marvin versus Cadpig or Marvin versus Rita - would have been very, very close and come down purely to how well they presented themselves. In terms of the others, Wakko might have been able to win if he navigated the endgame right. Dodger, if he made it to the end, probably would have gotten every single vote.

I see this ending as kind of a Natalie White versus Russell Hantz scenario. I don't see Marvin as malicious as Russell, but it fits the mold of an aggressive, alpha male player being taken out by an underestimated female.

On the subject of Marvin, I really loved writing him too. He gets labeled as the villain of the story, which I can certainly attest to, but I think the spectrum's pretty grey. For those reasons, I'd really be interested in hearing who you thought were heroes and villains here.

Anyway, Happy New Year and thanks so much for everything! They'll be more stories to come, but right now, I obviously need a break. Watch out for flying bunnies. Thoughts and reviews are always appreciated and taken to heart.

-QuizKidDonnieSmith


	35. Coming Soon

HOST

Last year…Animation Brawl took you to the scorching heat of the California desert. Bonds were broken. Battles were fought. In the end,_ one_ emerged to claim the title of Sole Survivor. This year, we're going from the burning sun…to the biting frost. I'm hovering over Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming. It's the middle of December. It's below zero. And the nearest town is more than fifty miles away.

_(Cut to TWO SLEDS being pulled through the snow by TWO PACKS of SIBERIAN HUSKIES. A TRIBE is sitting in each SLED. One wears RED. The other wears GREEN)_

It's here that a group of sixteen new animated characters will begin the adventure of a lifetime.

_(A shot of TWO FLAGS flapping in the wind on top of a HILL. The RED FLAG reads DAKOTA. The GREEN FLAG reads SHOSHONE)_

_(Cut to BRIAN in a confessional. A white DOG. He is shivering and wearing a GREEN PARKA)_

BRIAN

_Hi._ I'm Brian Griffin. Quahog, Rhode Island. I'm an author. Or...I tell myself I am? I signed up for this show to get out of my head. Just a little bit. Maybe get some new material for my novel…?

_(Pause)_

It's a work in progress…..

_(A longer pause)_

It's..._been_ a work in progress...

_(Cut to ABIGAIL in a confessional. An African-American girl with a ponytail and a red HAT. She wears a RED PARKA)_

ABIGAIL

What they _don't_ know is…I'm a full-fledged _agent_ in the Kids Next Door! And I'm_ not_ lookin' to end my life as a popsicle!

_ (Cut to MANDY in a RED PARKA. A BLONDE GIRL with a stone-faced expression)_

MANDY

There's thousands of people that go missing in the snow every year…

_(She stares blankly at the camera)_

Merry Christmas, America…

_(Cut to FLUTTERSHY in a confessional. A YELLOW PONY wearing a GREEN PARKA)_

FLUTTERSHY

I'm feeling really…optimistic about my tribe…as long as nobody uses expressive body language….or eye contact...

_(Pause. She smiles at the camera)_

I'm….I'm just going to go over there and make snow angels…

_(Cut to JACK SKELLINGTON in a confessional. A SKELETON wearing a RED PARKA)_

JACK

Icicles, they call them? Stabbing implements? For frightening children? Oh - I'm just beside myself! I'll _never_ go back to Halloweentown!

_(Cut to a shot of SHIFTY, a GREEN RACCOON wearing a FEDORA. He dives across a FROZEN POND in slow-motion, trying to snatch a HOCKEY PUCK)_

_(Cut to STEVEN UNIVERSE, a plump BOY with BROWN HAIR. He charges his way down a SNOWY HILL holding a TORCH. The BLURRED FACES of his TRIBE are seen wearing BLUE behind him)_

_(Cut to WILT, an imaginary, tall, red CREATURE with googly eyes. He aims a SLINGSHOT carefully. He fires a PEBBLE. It crashes into a GLASS SNOWGLOBE on a TABLE several yards away)_

_(Cut to SLAPPY SQUIRREL, an elderly grey SQUIRREL. She pulls herself over a BRICK WALL covered in FROST. She reaches her HAND up at the top, trying to seize a BLUE BEAN BAG tied to a ROPE)_

_(Cut back to FLUTTERSHY. She is crouched in a dark IGLOO. Her face is lit up dimly by a FIRE. She is holding her stomach. She seems to be considerable pain)_

FLUTTERSHY

I can't walk anymore…

_(A shot is shown of FOUR SHADOWS walking across the ICE together. They each hold a TORCH, heading off to a TRIBAL COUNCIL)_

_(Cut to the HOST running across a FROZEN LAKE. The PRODUCTION CREW swarms around him. Several CONTESTANTS are scattered around, looking terrified. TWO PARAMEDICS rush in carrying a STRETCHER)_

_HOST_

MEDICAL! MEDICAL! WE DON'T HAVE TIME! GET HIM TO THE HOSPITAL!

_ (Cut back to ABIGAIL laughing in a confessional)_

ABIGAIL

It's game on, suckers…

* * *

**ANIMATION BRAWL: YELLOWSTONE**

_**COMING IN MARCH…**_

* * *

_**Go to my DeviantArt see a full cast release! Google Survivor: Animation Brawl to get there!**_


End file.
